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Scary Stories for Bananaphobes
Are you ready for horror stories unlike anything you've ever read? Brace yourself for Scary Stories for Bananaphobes, the most outrageous collection of terrifying tales ever written.
From Godzilla-sized bananas stomping through cities to pirate fruit and fire-breathing banana dragons, these stories will chill your bones. If you have problems with your heart, or high-blood pressure, don't read this book.
Perfect for fans of dark humor and thrilling horror. Whether you’re a horror enthusiast or just someone who wants to see fruit run amok (with chainsaws) , this book will keep you entertained—and looking twice at your fruit bowl.
From Godzilla-sized bananas stomping through cities to pirate fruit and fire-breathing banana dragons, these stories will chill your bones. If you have problems with your heart, or high-blood pressure, don't read this book.
Perfect for fans of dark humor and thrilling horror. Whether you’re a horror enthusiast or just someone who wants to see fruit run amok (with chainsaws) , this book will keep you entertained—and looking twice at your fruit bowl.
207 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 30, 2024
3 people are currently reading
40 people want to read
About the author
Bruce McBruce
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
April 13, 2025
Our banana in heaven, Yellow be thy name.
Bananas have many faces, and not all of them are friendly. In fact, they're much more insidious than you may think. They hunt people in dark alleys, disguise as yellow dolphins in the water, take gigantic forms and destroy civilizations, haunt the minds of formerly productive members of society, become pirates to fulfill their nasty desires, terrorize people in road rage incidents, demoralize swimmers by whispering in their ears that they will never make it and cause them to drown, they even became gods and have followers... The range of banana horror is wide.
For me, the winner of this anthology is The Melonphone 3000 in which a farmer and his son visit a fruit and vegetable fair in the US, where they see the titular phone which allows communication with fruits, and witness a demo call with a banana, who explains the full scope of the hate bananas feel against humans and apes, and you had no clue how sinister this is.
I wasn't a bananaphobe before reading this book, but now I have my doubts.
Bananas have many faces, and not all of them are friendly. In fact, they're much more insidious than you may think. They hunt people in dark alleys, disguise as yellow dolphins in the water, take gigantic forms and destroy civilizations, haunt the minds of formerly productive members of society, become pirates to fulfill their nasty desires, terrorize people in road rage incidents, demoralize swimmers by whispering in their ears that they will never make it and cause them to drown, they even became gods and have followers... The range of banana horror is wide.
For me, the winner of this anthology is The Melonphone 3000 in which a farmer and his son visit a fruit and vegetable fair in the US, where they see the titular phone which allows communication with fruits, and witness a demo call with a banana, who explains the full scope of the hate bananas feel against humans and apes, and you had no clue how sinister this is.
I wasn't a bananaphobe before reading this book, but now I have my doubts.
June 12, 2025
Bananaphobia is real - I checked it out! I just don't get how someone could be so scared of bananas that they would cry in front of one, or avoid the produce section in supermarkets but... it happens (allegedly).
Those bananas aren't scary to me. The ones in this collection might be! Razor-toothed ones, gigantic ones, the Antlered Bananapede, all cunning, all evil, willing to take over the world from us... Ooooh!
I don't know if I'll ever look at bananas as anything other than something to swallow whole just before it reaches my throat.
"Bananas are not social. They are soulless."
🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌/ 5
Those bananas aren't scary to me. The ones in this collection might be! Razor-toothed ones, gigantic ones, the Antlered Bananapede, all cunning, all evil, willing to take over the world from us... Ooooh!
I don't know if I'll ever look at bananas as anything other than something to swallow whole just before it reaches my throat.
"Bananas are not social. They are soulless."
🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌/ 5
January 26, 2025
A traumatizing and terrifying book for bananaphobes, strange and darkly bizarre for the rest of society.
“A noise behind me. In the grass, a banana. It is watching me.”
So many bananas in these stories. It’s definitely original! My mind is still reeling (peeling? 🍌)…
Thank you to NetGalley & the author for a copy.
“A noise behind me. In the grass, a banana. It is watching me.”
So many bananas in these stories. It’s definitely original! My mind is still reeling (peeling? 🍌)…
Thank you to NetGalley & the author for a copy.
January 26, 2025
I think this book even made me scared of bananas now! From killer cruise 🛳️ bananas with chainsaws to Army ⚔️ Bananas on a mission I’ve never read anything like this before! Comeplete banana 🍌 chaos! They just might be the end of the world for humans after all! 😱
Australian 🇦🇺 bananas are the worst!!
Australian 🇦🇺 bananas are the worst!!
January 9, 2025
I haven’t read anything like this before. If you are looking for a horror thriller, look no further. I have read about some of the rare phobias in this book. Phobias like banana phobia and marshmallow phobia. I liked reading the interview and the stories too. The main character in the horror thrilling tales is a giant banana causing trouble and creating chaos for everyone. Expect blood, bizarre scenes and all the unexpected. The book took me by surprise and the ending shook me. This book has mature themes.
Thanks to the Publisher.
Thanks to the Publisher.
January 24, 2026
Quite an original book, a quirky and darkly humorous collection of horror short stories written by a very gifted author. I cannot help but wonder whether Mr. McBruce is, indeed, a bananaphobe :). While the stories cleverly vary in terms of structure (we’ve got letters, interviews, quasi-unreliable narrators, third-person, first-person pov, etc), the “bananas are monsters/killers” leitmotif felt uncomfortably repetitive after a while... I’m also not a big fan of monster/creature-horror books /movies, nor of violence and gore.
I would have liked more stories like “I Don’t Exist,” which I absolutely adored – it’s unexpectedly sad and philosophical (I could feel the [non]existential angst to the bone).
I also loved "The Book of Golden Prayer" (with its eerie bookshop setting) and "Leviathan"(oh, my, what a beautiful, poetic prose), which are superbly atmospheric.
"An Interview with Gerald", "An Old Lady" (=a one-sentence story) and "I'll be Your Bogeyman" are hilarious :)) If you're a real person, Gerald, I'm sorry, not laughing AT you per se. =))
"Fire vs Fire" is a novella, also quite atmospheric, set in the 17th century, a sort of Dracula but with a priest and evil bananas :)) It's even got a few phrases in Romanian, which was a pleasant surprise (just a small note - it's actually "Și acest castel îți va mânca oasele," and "porcule" instead of "porc").
"Alianation" is perhaps the scariest story, genuinely creepy... psychological horror all the way. The evil bananas might or might not be real. A retired postman is found dead. His chilling confession is written, scribbled, scratched all over his house on paper, mirrors, furniture, etc.
"The gargoyles, those stone sentinels eroded by centuries, seemed to breathe like wolves in the shadows, while water trickled down their countenances like the tears of a nun."
- quote from "Fire vs Fire."
The author juggles psychological & physical horror, suspense, mystery, humor, absurd(ity), fantasy/sci-fi elements, and even social satire (to an extent) quite masterfully.
If you're a fan of dark comedy and bizarre prose, or if you're oddly in the mood for a book that will make you wonder "What the hell did I just read?", this collection might be for you. :)
I would have liked more stories like “I Don’t Exist,” which I absolutely adored – it’s unexpectedly sad and philosophical (I could feel the [non]existential angst to the bone).
I also loved "The Book of Golden Prayer" (with its eerie bookshop setting) and "Leviathan"(oh, my, what a beautiful, poetic prose), which are superbly atmospheric.
"An Interview with Gerald", "An Old Lady" (=a one-sentence story) and "I'll be Your Bogeyman" are hilarious :)) If you're a real person, Gerald, I'm sorry, not laughing AT you per se. =))
"Fire vs Fire" is a novella, also quite atmospheric, set in the 17th century, a sort of Dracula but with a priest and evil bananas :)) It's even got a few phrases in Romanian, which was a pleasant surprise (just a small note - it's actually "Și acest castel îți va mânca oasele," and "porcule" instead of "porc").
"Alianation" is perhaps the scariest story, genuinely creepy... psychological horror all the way. The evil bananas might or might not be real. A retired postman is found dead. His chilling confession is written, scribbled, scratched all over his house on paper, mirrors, furniture, etc.
"The gargoyles, those stone sentinels eroded by centuries, seemed to breathe like wolves in the shadows, while water trickled down their countenances like the tears of a nun."
- quote from "Fire vs Fire."
The author juggles psychological & physical horror, suspense, mystery, humor, absurd(ity), fantasy/sci-fi elements, and even social satire (to an extent) quite masterfully.
If you're a fan of dark comedy and bizarre prose, or if you're oddly in the mood for a book that will make you wonder "What the hell did I just read?", this collection might be for you. :)
January 11, 2025
Scary Stories for Bananaphobes is a hilariously twisted collection of horror tales that turns the ordinary banana into your next nightmare. From colossal bananas crushing cities to pirate fruit gone rogue, this book kept me laughing, cringing, and turning pages all at once. It’s a wild ride for anyone who loves dark humor with a fruity twist, and honestly, I’ll never look at bananas the same way again.
January 10, 2025
Okay, bananas with chainsaws?! This book is straight-up bananas (pun fully intended). Scary Stories for Bananaphobes takes horror and dark humor to a whole new level of fruity chaos. I mean, who wouldn’t want to read about fire-breathing banana dragons? It’s ridiculous in the best way possible. Read it if you dare—or if you just want to make your next fruit salad feel like a bad life choice. 🍌🔪🔥
January 5, 2025
Ughhhh I'm not sure what it was that I just read......
This book is a rollercoaster of bizarre, darkly comedic and hilariously chilling tales. The book centers around bananas as the central figure. I will say I did go down rabbit hole to find out if this was a real phobia and I suppose it is? It's so bizarre (to me at least) that I'm not 100% sure at this point.
There is a mixture of horror and absurd humor which makes this very easy to read with lots of WTF moments.
This book is a rollercoaster of bizarre, darkly comedic and hilariously chilling tales. The book centers around bananas as the central figure. I will say I did go down rabbit hole to find out if this was a real phobia and I suppose it is? It's so bizarre (to me at least) that I'm not 100% sure at this point.
There is a mixture of horror and absurd humor which makes this very easy to read with lots of WTF moments.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews