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Secret Light
Rafe Colman’s likes his life. He has a nice home, a good job, and a wonderful dog. But he’s exhausted by living a lie. When his home is vandalized because of his perceived German ancestry, he can’t even share the irony with friends.
Officer Ben Morgan falls for Rafe’s dog first, but it isn’t long before he’s giving her owner the eye. He thinks they have more in common than the search for Rafe’s vandals, and he’s willing to take a chance and find out.
If life in 1955 is tough on a cop in the closet, it’s even tougher on a refugee who’s desperate to hide his roots and fit in. Rafe knows from tragic experience how vicious prejudice can be. Every second with Ben is stolen, every kiss fraught with danger.
Rerelease of a previosuly published title.
Officer Ben Morgan falls for Rafe’s dog first, but it isn’t long before he’s giving her owner the eye. He thinks they have more in common than the search for Rafe’s vandals, and he’s willing to take a chance and find out.
If life in 1955 is tough on a cop in the closet, it’s even tougher on a refugee who’s desperate to hide his roots and fit in. Rafe knows from tragic experience how vicious prejudice can be. Every second with Ben is stolen, every kiss fraught with danger.
Rerelease of a previosuly published title.
176 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 20, 2011
25 people are currently reading
751 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 113 reviews
October 4, 2014
Rafe came to the United States at the age of twelve as a refugee after the Nazis invaded his native Austria. He changed his too-German sounding name, made himself a new home in his new country and eventually managed to make a good life for himself through hard work and a winning personality. (His motto is “nobody says no to Rafe Colman.”) But except for his prowess as a Real Estate agent, everything else about his life is a lie. First and foremost, he’s not the womanizer he acts for the benefit of his co-workers, not in the slightest – he’s gay, and on the surface his life revolves around keeping this secret a secret. He even concocted a clever scheme that secures him the sympathy of the women he keeps hooking up with as part of his cover. But beneath this disguise, Rafe hides even more secrets. Extra precaution has been ingrained into him ever since he was a child, and events he witnessed since only reinforced his preformed notion that he can’t allow anybody to find out about him, never, not on any terms. However, the price Rafe pays for his safety is terrible, soul-freezing loneliness. Caught up in secrecy and fear, Rafe isolated himself from each and every personal contact; he has no friends, only colleagues and neighbors, and the only being he really has a connection with is his dog, Mookie (who, by the way, was a treat and a wonderful character in her own right and, as opposed to other canine matchmakers I’ve come across now and then, actually served another, very crucial and rather dark purpose in the plot.)
Ironically, Rafe’s safety is broken by a prejudice about him that couldn’t be further off the mark. His house being defaced with Nazi symbols and his garage going up in flames calls LAPD Officer Ben Morgan to the scene, an honest man and a protector at heart. At first, it’s only the hatred behind the crime that gets Ben’s hackles up, and the way his partner Calhoun shrugs it off on the same prejudices that fueled the crime in the first place. But as he forms a tentative connection with Rafe via Rafe’s dog, Ben senses something from the crime victim – he barely dares to hope, but could Rafe actually be a kindred spirit? It’s the 1950′s, after all, and if being found out as a gay man means ostracism in general society, being found out as a gay cop can literally mean death. Ben takes a tremendous risk putting out tentative feelers towards Rafe, more so since his partner, Calhoun, proves far too perceptive even though Ben goes to great lengths to keep up his tough image.
The writing in itself was exceptional. The interactions between those two men, how Ben approached Rafe with utmost subtlety, how Rafe, even though he was almost petrified from fear, couldn’t help but open up to Ben’s gentle persistence – all this was drawn out in a way that kept me in awe. Rafe and Ben were very much children of their time.
I must admit that all my notions about the 1950′s USA come from books and movies, but I felt immediately transported into this time that still seems to pervade the world’s perception of the USA, even to the present day to some extent. The 1950′s were a time of optimism; America had won the War and brought justice to the world, and American values and morals were prevalent. But America in the 1950′s was also obsessed with appearances. It was a society in which a very conservative mindset prevailed, a mindset that had no tolerance for the misfits, the maladjusted, the different. This was an environment where racism and prejudices against minorities thrived, not only in the general society, but even among the keepers of this society. For those who didn’t fit in, this was a dark, and at times very oppressive era, even with the superficial freedom it was supposed to provide. And Ben and Rafe were perfectly placed within this society.
Ben was a character who immediately went straight to my heart. Except for being gay, Ben was such a wholesome all-American boy, permeated by optimism and firmly rooted in his upbringing. All the evil he witnessed on a daily basis due to his job hadn’t managed to quell his innate faith in law, justice and the goodness of humankind. At first he appeared almost naive in his reckless innocence, but over the course of the story Ben’s character showed that he also possessed depth and insights, and he changed. Being with Rafe and learning his fate opened Ben’s eyes to darker aspects of not only the society in which he lived, but also within his own soul, to a point where he almost broke under the weight of the darkness he found himself capable of. And still, he came out unbroken on the other side, still he managed to remain the beacon of light and hope he had become to Rafe.
Rafe, on the other hand, was the more complicated character right from the beginning. I must admit that at first I didn’t care for him overly much. Yet, the more I learned about him as Ben dug deeper and deeper into his secrets, the more Rafe grew on me. He had gone through so much, he had lost so much that his fear and self-inflicted emotional numbness became totally understandable. In the end, Rafe came out the true innocent of the two, and not only because he was sexually less experienced than Ben. Once Rafe opened up, he trusted Ben completely, didn’t hold back anymore; he became a perfect receptacle for Ben’s light.
One small issue I had with this book revolved mostly around the fact that I felt somewhat hit over the head with the mise-en-scène of the historical setting, particularly in the beginning. Also, the actual motivation of Rafe’s attacker eluded me.
My other issue was more of a personal nature since this story contained quite a lot of German terms, some of which tripped me up because they were used incorrectly or just plain awkward. Non-German speakers most probably won’t even notice the latter, and I wouldn’t even have mentioned it hadn’t the author stated in her dedication that she had a perfectly reliable and accessible source of German translation and expertise readily available that she could have used. Besides, the writing was otherwise so perfect I would’ve expected the same kind of thoroughness in this regard.
Aside from these minor niggles, this is a wonderful book, it’s hopeful and uplifting despite its bittersweet undertones, and the story in itself is so beautiful it transcends the holiday spirit, transforming it into the simple marvel of two people finding each other. Highly, warmly recommended.
review originally written for reviewsbyjessewave.com
Ironically, Rafe’s safety is broken by a prejudice about him that couldn’t be further off the mark. His house being defaced with Nazi symbols and his garage going up in flames calls LAPD Officer Ben Morgan to the scene, an honest man and a protector at heart. At first, it’s only the hatred behind the crime that gets Ben’s hackles up, and the way his partner Calhoun shrugs it off on the same prejudices that fueled the crime in the first place. But as he forms a tentative connection with Rafe via Rafe’s dog, Ben senses something from the crime victim – he barely dares to hope, but could Rafe actually be a kindred spirit? It’s the 1950′s, after all, and if being found out as a gay man means ostracism in general society, being found out as a gay cop can literally mean death. Ben takes a tremendous risk putting out tentative feelers towards Rafe, more so since his partner, Calhoun, proves far too perceptive even though Ben goes to great lengths to keep up his tough image.
The writing in itself was exceptional. The interactions between those two men, how Ben approached Rafe with utmost subtlety, how Rafe, even though he was almost petrified from fear, couldn’t help but open up to Ben’s gentle persistence – all this was drawn out in a way that kept me in awe. Rafe and Ben were very much children of their time.
I must admit that all my notions about the 1950′s USA come from books and movies, but I felt immediately transported into this time that still seems to pervade the world’s perception of the USA, even to the present day to some extent. The 1950′s were a time of optimism; America had won the War and brought justice to the world, and American values and morals were prevalent. But America in the 1950′s was also obsessed with appearances. It was a society in which a very conservative mindset prevailed, a mindset that had no tolerance for the misfits, the maladjusted, the different. This was an environment where racism and prejudices against minorities thrived, not only in the general society, but even among the keepers of this society. For those who didn’t fit in, this was a dark, and at times very oppressive era, even with the superficial freedom it was supposed to provide. And Ben and Rafe were perfectly placed within this society.
Ben was a character who immediately went straight to my heart. Except for being gay, Ben was such a wholesome all-American boy, permeated by optimism and firmly rooted in his upbringing. All the evil he witnessed on a daily basis due to his job hadn’t managed to quell his innate faith in law, justice and the goodness of humankind. At first he appeared almost naive in his reckless innocence, but over the course of the story Ben’s character showed that he also possessed depth and insights, and he changed. Being with Rafe and learning his fate opened Ben’s eyes to darker aspects of not only the society in which he lived, but also within his own soul, to a point where he almost broke under the weight of the darkness he found himself capable of. And still, he came out unbroken on the other side, still he managed to remain the beacon of light and hope he had become to Rafe.
Rafe, on the other hand, was the more complicated character right from the beginning. I must admit that at first I didn’t care for him overly much. Yet, the more I learned about him as Ben dug deeper and deeper into his secrets, the more Rafe grew on me. He had gone through so much, he had lost so much that his fear and self-inflicted emotional numbness became totally understandable. In the end, Rafe came out the true innocent of the two, and not only because he was sexually less experienced than Ben. Once Rafe opened up, he trusted Ben completely, didn’t hold back anymore; he became a perfect receptacle for Ben’s light.
One small issue I had with this book revolved mostly around the fact that I felt somewhat hit over the head with the mise-en-scène of the historical setting, particularly in the beginning. Also, the actual motivation of Rafe’s attacker eluded me.
My other issue was more of a personal nature since this story contained quite a lot of German terms, some of which tripped me up because they were used incorrectly or just plain awkward. Non-German speakers most probably won’t even notice the latter, and I wouldn’t even have mentioned it hadn’t the author stated in her dedication that she had a perfectly reliable and accessible source of German translation and expertise readily available that she could have used. Besides, the writing was otherwise so perfect I would’ve expected the same kind of thoroughness in this regard.
Aside from these minor niggles, this is a wonderful book, it’s hopeful and uplifting despite its bittersweet undertones, and the story in itself is so beautiful it transcends the holiday spirit, transforming it into the simple marvel of two people finding each other. Highly, warmly recommended.
review originally written for reviewsbyjessewave.com
October 29, 2023
Re-Read: Oct 2023
Original Read: July 2022
This was such a wonderful and sweet story and even after my re-read, it remains my favorite 1950s historical MM romance! I just wish it were longer because a few plotlines were wrapped up too fast and I would have happily read a hundred more pages of this beautiful story.
The best part of the story is its dedication to historical accuracy. Every detail, every conversation, every item, every action effortlessly submersed me in the 1950s, which was fantastic. I also liked that the MCs didn't have modern sensibilities. Their views on certain things fit perfectly with men of their backgrounds living in the 1950s, which added to the authenticity of the story. In addition, I appreciated that the story ends with a HEA that fits with the times,
Another thing I adored is how the author incorporated Rafe's Austrian background. I speak German and I was thrilled that the German phrases Rafe used were all correct (except for some minor spelling mistakes), including the slang terms, profanity and cute endearments for Ben and Mooki. The way she wrote Rafe's accented speech was also really well done, as well as having Rafe default to using more German during times of high emotion. Just like with the historical details, the author did a fantastic job blending Rafe's Austrian heritage into the story through things like his work ethic, his charming yet distant demeanor with his co-workers and the simple Austrian/German food he prepared at home.
I also loved the characters, especially Rafe and my heart broke for the poor man. I especially liked that readers aren't given his entire backstory at once. The author reveals it in small pieces so I felt a lot of apprehension combined with curiosity the closer we got to the reveal because I knew the full story would be tragic.
The part that stayed with me the most was The whole situation made me sob because it demonstrated how much his parents loved him. It was a beautiful blend of history, historical authenticity, great characterization and wonderful storytelling.
Rafe has suffered additional loss in his life and because all of these losses were a direct result of other people's prejudices against , he's spent the last twenty years living in a constant state of fear. He's built a stable life that he shares with his adorable dog Mooki (who is one of the best characters in the book), he has a good job and gets along with his co-workers but he's incredibly lonely due to the walls he's built up around himself for self-protection. When Ben comes into the picture, Rafe has a very hard time letting those walls down and allowing himself to trust and care for Ben. Watching his slow progression as he battles against his instinctual fears because he wants to be with Ben was both heartbreaking and heart warming at the same time.
I did have minor problems with the story. The first was my pet peeve of German phrases being included in the story without having translations or context provided most of the time. Some might argue that the phrases weren't important, but I disagree. For example, it was a huge progression when Rafe starts using German endearments (Geliebter = beloved) towards Ben near the end of the story. Another example is that Rafe always refers to his dad as Papa (which is the equivalent of dad) but his mom is always Mutti, which is mommy, rather than mom. Not knowing the translations of these words I had referenced means that some readers probably didn't get the full emotional context behind them, which is unfortunate.
Another issue I had is the short length of the story. Because Rafe comes into the story with lots of baggage, the author had to spend lots of time developing his relationship with Ben. This was fantastic, but it meant that some additional plotlines didn't get the attention they deserved.
For example,
The other plotline I wish had gotten much more breathing room was
Lastly, the author had an ongoing love affair with italics throughout the story but the majority of the italics usage wasn't correct or consistent. And for some odd reason, the author forgot to include a lot of scene break symbols, which gave me a bit of whiplash. But I love the story so much that these minor issues didn't interfere with my enjoyment of it.
Overall, this was a heartwarming and beautiful story that I highly recommend. But do yourself a favor and have a German-English translation device handy while reading so you can figure out what Rafe is saying.
Original Read: July 2022
This was such a wonderful and sweet story and even after my re-read, it remains my favorite 1950s historical MM romance! I just wish it were longer because a few plotlines were wrapped up too fast and I would have happily read a hundred more pages of this beautiful story.
The best part of the story is its dedication to historical accuracy. Every detail, every conversation, every item, every action effortlessly submersed me in the 1950s, which was fantastic. I also liked that the MCs didn't have modern sensibilities. Their views on certain things fit perfectly with men of their backgrounds living in the 1950s, which added to the authenticity of the story. In addition, I appreciated that the story ends with a HEA that fits with the times,
Another thing I adored is how the author incorporated Rafe's Austrian background. I speak German and I was thrilled that the German phrases Rafe used were all correct (except for some minor spelling mistakes), including the slang terms, profanity and cute endearments for Ben and Mooki. The way she wrote Rafe's accented speech was also really well done, as well as having Rafe default to using more German during times of high emotion. Just like with the historical details, the author did a fantastic job blending Rafe's Austrian heritage into the story through things like his work ethic, his charming yet distant demeanor with his co-workers and the simple Austrian/German food he prepared at home.
I also loved the characters, especially Rafe and my heart broke for the poor man. I especially liked that readers aren't given his entire backstory at once. The author reveals it in small pieces so I felt a lot of apprehension combined with curiosity the closer we got to the reveal because I knew the full story would be tragic.
The part that stayed with me the most was The whole situation made me sob because it demonstrated how much his parents loved him. It was a beautiful blend of history, historical authenticity, great characterization and wonderful storytelling.
Rafe has suffered additional loss in his life and because all of these losses were a direct result of other people's prejudices against , he's spent the last twenty years living in a constant state of fear. He's built a stable life that he shares with his adorable dog Mooki (who is one of the best characters in the book), he has a good job and gets along with his co-workers but he's incredibly lonely due to the walls he's built up around himself for self-protection. When Ben comes into the picture, Rafe has a very hard time letting those walls down and allowing himself to trust and care for Ben. Watching his slow progression as he battles against his instinctual fears because he wants to be with Ben was both heartbreaking and heart warming at the same time.
I did have minor problems with the story. The first was my pet peeve of German phrases being included in the story without having translations or context provided most of the time. Some might argue that the phrases weren't important, but I disagree. For example, it was a huge progression when Rafe starts using German endearments (Geliebter = beloved) towards Ben near the end of the story. Another example is that Rafe always refers to his dad as Papa (which is the equivalent of dad) but his mom is always Mutti, which is mommy, rather than mom. Not knowing the translations of these words I had referenced means that some readers probably didn't get the full emotional context behind them, which is unfortunate.
Another issue I had is the short length of the story. Because Rafe comes into the story with lots of baggage, the author had to spend lots of time developing his relationship with Ben. This was fantastic, but it meant that some additional plotlines didn't get the attention they deserved.
For example,
The other plotline I wish had gotten much more breathing room was
Lastly, the author had an ongoing love affair with italics throughout the story but the majority of the italics usage wasn't correct or consistent. And for some odd reason, the author forgot to include a lot of scene break symbols, which gave me a bit of whiplash. But I love the story so much that these minor issues didn't interfere with my enjoyment of it.
Overall, this was a heartwarming and beautiful story that I highly recommend. But do yourself a favor and have a German-English translation device handy while reading so you can figure out what Rafe is saying.
December 24, 2011
ZAM wears her beloved So Cal in her writing like sea-scented skin, and the noir-ish, super-conservative setting of this story is played out in detailed perfection. All of it serves to show the terrible loneliness of man who is so isolated by the ebbs and flows of unreasonable hatred that his every breath is drawn in fear. This story was haunting and beautiful and perfect. The holidays-- all holidays--have never been so well served by a simple story of human beings coming together.
April 10, 2012
I really enjoyed this story of Rafe, a man who has lived in America since the Second World War in workable but lonely isolation. He's had financial success but is completely closeted not only about his sexuality but about his history, his religion and everything else personal about himself. His only true friend is his little dog. When the walls around his life are slowly breached by Ben, a police officer who is attracted to him, the result is a lovely flowering of attraction and then of love, in a historical setting that is very well-wrought. I would have gladly read far more of how these two men made a life together, and I have no doubt I will be rereading this one.
December 23, 2014
Understated and lovely holiday romance. Gracefully written, and I really rooted for Rafe to open his heart to Ben. There aren't too many m/m historicals set in the 1950s, and this was a welcome change of pace with unique characters.
Want to read
December 16, 2020Free on Amazon 12/15/2020 https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Light-Z...
January 1, 2012
Rafe Colman is handsome, slick, personable. He is the top commercial real estate salesman at his agency, perpetually Salesman of the Month. Everybody likes Rafe. But he is a man with secrets. A fraud. And is 1955 Los Angeles, having the kind of past Rafe does can be dangerous. Even more dangerous than being perceived as German, with the hard feelings lingering after WWII.
When his home is vandalized, Officer Ben Morgan investigates what could be a crime motivated by Rafe's Germanic background. When he sees Rafe's dog, it is love at first sight. Then he catches sight of Rafe, and thinks he sees a glimmer, a glint of commonality. But he cannot be sure, and his partner's bigoted comments keep driving home how dangerous it could be for HIM. Because there are no out gay cops. It just doesn't happen.
As the two men become friends, the attraction is there. But the secrets the two men have make this a difficult and potentially deadly dance. But when Rafe is violently attacked, Ben knows he has to do more. Be more. Protect Rafe.
But how? How can he be what he wants to be, have what he wants to have, make Rafe his? And will Rafe be able to overcome his past and trust Ben? Or will the man who has it out for Rafe succeed in his vendetta?
This book takes Z.A. Maxfield into a new ballpark. And she knocks this out of the park. The grasp she has of the times, the fears and tensions, the barely hidden xenophobia and homophobia, the tension that permeates anything and anyone different is superb. How even the hint of gayness could ruin a man forever.
The claustrophobia and tension in this story are choking. And it is sustained from the beginning through almost the last page. Make no mistake, this is a romance and a love story, but DAMN, the tension ratchets up the attraction Makes it feel more intense. Deeper.
This is what happens you let a master at characterization loose in a new area and let her have free reign. You get a diamond.
Take a chance here - this is not what you might expect, but so very much more.
Tom
When his home is vandalized, Officer Ben Morgan investigates what could be a crime motivated by Rafe's Germanic background. When he sees Rafe's dog, it is love at first sight. Then he catches sight of Rafe, and thinks he sees a glimmer, a glint of commonality. But he cannot be sure, and his partner's bigoted comments keep driving home how dangerous it could be for HIM. Because there are no out gay cops. It just doesn't happen.
As the two men become friends, the attraction is there. But the secrets the two men have make this a difficult and potentially deadly dance. But when Rafe is violently attacked, Ben knows he has to do more. Be more. Protect Rafe.
But how? How can he be what he wants to be, have what he wants to have, make Rafe his? And will Rafe be able to overcome his past and trust Ben? Or will the man who has it out for Rafe succeed in his vendetta?
This book takes Z.A. Maxfield into a new ballpark. And she knocks this out of the park. The grasp she has of the times, the fears and tensions, the barely hidden xenophobia and homophobia, the tension that permeates anything and anyone different is superb. How even the hint of gayness could ruin a man forever.
The claustrophobia and tension in this story are choking. And it is sustained from the beginning through almost the last page. Make no mistake, this is a romance and a love story, but DAMN, the tension ratchets up the attraction Makes it feel more intense. Deeper.
This is what happens you let a master at characterization loose in a new area and let her have free reign. You get a diamond.
Take a chance here - this is not what you might expect, but so very much more.
Tom
Want to read
December 16, 2020Kindle freebie 12/16/20
January 26, 2012
Z.A. Maxfield’s are usually hit or miss with me, but with Secret Light, she totally hit this one out of the park. I absolutely loved this book with its detailed historical insights, which really placed the novel in 1955 Los Angeles for the reader. And the premise of a closeted immigrant, hiding not only his sexuality, but so many other secrets was compelling and at times a heart-breaking read.
Rafe Colman is a successful real estate agent in 1955 Los Angeles, who after being the victim of a hate crime meets police officer Ben Morgan. The two men share a secret: they are both gay; but in repressed 1950’s society that secret coming to light could get them killed. Even so, they start a relationship and as Rafe begins to trust Ben, he is attacked and beaten by an unknown assailant. Can Ben and Rafe’s love survive this time and place?
What drew me into this novel was the heartwarming and tragic characterization of Rafe. He suffered so much in his life, yet is still willing to take a chance on love. Add in Ben, and you have perfect chemistry for them as a couple, so much so it made each page a joy to read. As if that wasn’t enough, Z.A. Maxfield really nailed the time period, which as a history teacher I appreciate. The details of what 1950’s America was like are so flawlessly weaved throughout the book that I felt like I was transported back in time. Plus, the secondary characters like Rafe’s neighbor, co-workers and even his dog added another level of rich depth to the plot.
Overall, I cannot recommend this touching and thought-provoking novel enough.
Dark Divas Reviews
Rafe Colman is a successful real estate agent in 1955 Los Angeles, who after being the victim of a hate crime meets police officer Ben Morgan. The two men share a secret: they are both gay; but in repressed 1950’s society that secret coming to light could get them killed. Even so, they start a relationship and as Rafe begins to trust Ben, he is attacked and beaten by an unknown assailant. Can Ben and Rafe’s love survive this time and place?
What drew me into this novel was the heartwarming and tragic characterization of Rafe. He suffered so much in his life, yet is still willing to take a chance on love. Add in Ben, and you have perfect chemistry for them as a couple, so much so it made each page a joy to read. As if that wasn’t enough, Z.A. Maxfield really nailed the time period, which as a history teacher I appreciate. The details of what 1950’s America was like are so flawlessly weaved throughout the book that I felt like I was transported back in time. Plus, the secondary characters like Rafe’s neighbor, co-workers and even his dog added another level of rich depth to the plot.
Overall, I cannot recommend this touching and thought-provoking novel enough.
Dark Divas Reviews
September 4, 2018
TW: homophobia and anti-Sementism
After reading The Long Way Home and hating it with the passion of a thousand fiery suns going supernova simultaneously, I was hesitant to pick up another ZAM book. A challenge I'm doing requires a "Second Chance Author" so I picked this book based on a recommendation from a friend.
Verdict: I liked it. It didn't wow me or blow me away. It was a quaint-ish little historical M/M novel, and it had the typical insta-like and "I love you"s in under a month. It didn't ignore the setting of the time, 1955 in Los Angeles. There were first rate jerks and first class heroes and everyone in between. The MCs were products of their time, so they were very much in the closet and remained that way, with no real hope they'd ever get to be open about their relationship. I really appreciated that ZAM didn't do that thing that some M/M writers do and try to write historical characters with modern-day sensibilities and attitudes. And of course there was Mooki, who was the star of the show. :D
I did have issues. The whole subplot with Ben's work partner was predictable and conveniently wrapped up. I'm still trying to figure out how Rafe has blond hair and blue eyes. Even Eddard Stark figured out that was impossible (or at least highly improbable) and he's not exactly the brightest light bulb, ya know. I didn't really feel the chemistry between Rafe and Ben.
Overall, this is a good story, and a vast improvement over the first ZAM book I read.
After reading The Long Way Home and hating it with the passion of a thousand fiery suns going supernova simultaneously, I was hesitant to pick up another ZAM book. A challenge I'm doing requires a "Second Chance Author" so I picked this book based on a recommendation from a friend.
Verdict: I liked it. It didn't wow me or blow me away. It was a quaint-ish little historical M/M novel, and it had the typical insta-like and "I love you"s in under a month. It didn't ignore the setting of the time, 1955 in Los Angeles. There were first rate jerks and first class heroes and everyone in between. The MCs were products of their time, so they were very much in the closet and remained that way, with no real hope they'd ever get to be open about their relationship. I really appreciated that ZAM didn't do that thing that some M/M writers do and try to write historical characters with modern-day sensibilities and attitudes. And of course there was Mooki, who was the star of the show. :D
I did have issues. The whole subplot with Ben's work partner was predictable and conveniently wrapped up. I'm still trying to figure out how Rafe has blond hair and blue eyes. Even Eddard Stark figured out that was impossible (or at least highly improbable) and he's not exactly the brightest light bulb, ya know. I didn't really feel the chemistry between Rafe and Ben.
Overall, this is a good story, and a vast improvement over the first ZAM book I read.
December 22, 2020
This was such a sweet and traumatic little read... So much love yet so much pain.
Really I’m not going to review the book since I will likely spoil it. But I will say it’s a perfect read if your looking for a quick little holiday read that takes little thought.
Really I’m not going to review the book since I will likely spoil it. But I will say it’s a perfect read if your looking for a quick little holiday read that takes little thought.
August 17, 2012
I think if I could give half stars I'd probably give this one 3 1/2 but I liked it well enough to go with 4. It's a sweet story and an unusual one. I think it had an added appeal for me because the main character was not only gay but a Jew who had escaped the Nazis (this should be quite clear from the cover alone) and being Jewish, I found I connected to some aspects of the story in that way.
I think it could have been longer. The build up of the relationship between the two main characters really could have stood for some further development but they were sweet and the story was sad and sweet.
There is some violence in the story but it's not between the two main characters. There's a fair bit of antisemitism and homophobia as well as some racism/xenophobia that is true to the time in which the story takes place.
It's a very quick read though not really a "light" one as the subject matter is heavy and I found myself shedding a few tears. You might not want to read this one on the beach but it's definitely worth reading if you enjoy the MM genre. It's not really erotica, the sex scenes are very brief and very few. It's simply a story in the gay and lesbian genre and there's nothing wrong with that!
I think it could have been longer. The build up of the relationship between the two main characters really could have stood for some further development but they were sweet and the story was sad and sweet.
There is some violence in the story but it's not between the two main characters. There's a fair bit of antisemitism and homophobia as well as some racism/xenophobia that is true to the time in which the story takes place.
It's a very quick read though not really a "light" one as the subject matter is heavy and I found myself shedding a few tears. You might not want to read this one on the beach but it's definitely worth reading if you enjoy the MM genre. It's not really erotica, the sex scenes are very brief and very few. It's simply a story in the gay and lesbian genre and there's nothing wrong with that!
January 1, 2012
This story is my first story read in 2012. Not sure if it's the right thing to do because it makes me feel slightly subdued.
I feel so sympahetic to Rafe Colman ... the secrets that he has too keep (he's an Austrian, not easy to live after the World War II where people easily think he's German -- and on top of that, he's actually Jewish) and the pain that he has to carry on (seeing what repercussion of being gay in the 1950s can do to a man). He's such a lonely guy, with only his dog to keep him company. But at the same time, he can also pretend in front of his colleagues, put a smile on his face, after all he's a top salesman at a realtor company. Imagine what he has to go through!!
So when Police Officer Ben Morgan comes into his life, who brings him strength and faith, to let Rafe falls in love, it's such a beautiful story. While I cannot say that it's a complete HEA, considering the time period when this story occurs, I really wish that both men get their happiness (along with their dog).
Now I need a more upbeat story, darn it!
I feel so sympahetic to Rafe Colman ... the secrets that he has too keep (he's an Austrian, not easy to live after the World War II where people easily think he's German -- and on top of that, he's actually Jewish) and the pain that he has to carry on (seeing what repercussion of being gay in the 1950s can do to a man). He's such a lonely guy, with only his dog to keep him company. But at the same time, he can also pretend in front of his colleagues, put a smile on his face, after all he's a top salesman at a realtor company. Imagine what he has to go through!!
So when Police Officer Ben Morgan comes into his life, who brings him strength and faith, to let Rafe falls in love, it's such a beautiful story. While I cannot say that it's a complete HEA, considering the time period when this story occurs, I really wish that both men get their happiness (along with their dog).
Now I need a more upbeat story, darn it!
April 18, 2015
Normally, I do not like to read anything from the 1930's to 1980's. For some reason, I can not get past that mental block. I am glad I did: it was a beautiful love story. The life of being perceived as being a German and being gay in the 1950's was not easy. The war just ending and the whole Hitler and the atrocities committed were horrendous and being gay on top of all that; really, the MC's lived very dangerously: a wrong step could possibly end their life. It was a very good read.
January 12, 2015
A highly emotional, at times heart breaking story. Rafe was portrayed so believably. It was hard to reconcile his public persona with the innocently naive, fearful man he truly was. It hurt to read him sometimes. I can't imagine the utter loneliness he lived with for so long. But Ben was so strong, and so there for him. It was just lovely.
November 7, 2014
Somehow I didn't find any access to this story.
I didn't get any clear impression of both MCs.
Ralf's sad and tragic history was just very angsty and dramatic. And Ben was just too good to be true. But they never felt real to me.
I didn't love the dog story part and the love story felt sappy to me.
I didn't get any clear impression of both MCs.
Ralf's sad and tragic history was just very angsty and dramatic. And Ben was just too good to be true. But they never felt real to me.
I didn't love the dog story part and the love story felt sappy to me.
June 30, 2015
I recently read a story that tried to do everything that this book tried to do, but failed. The romance, the secrets, the tug-a-war between past and present--between who we are in the light and who we are in the shadows--it just works so well in this story.
Rafe Colman's life is about selling an image. Not only at work, but for himself as well. 1955, ten years after a war that left a continent torn, and Rafe's family dead, Rafe is selling himself as the ideal bachelor. Well-off, charming, sexy, untouchable, and with a touch of mystery. But the facade is a lie, and the only one that's around to see the real him is his dog. Till a malicious act of vandalism brings Officer Ben Morgan to his door, and into his life.
Being an Officer of the Law does pose certain problems for Ben. What with his homosexual tendencies still being a matter for prosecution--and it certainly doesn't help that his partner on the force is a racist, homophobic, bigoted asshole. But he can't stop himself from wanting Rafe. From wanting to protect him, know him...maybe even one day love him. So even though it is illegal, and even though it could very well get him killed if certain people started to suspect, Ben goes back to Rafe's house on the very thin hope that Rafe could possibly, just maybe, feel the same about him.
But living in the shadows isn't easy, especially when your falling for someone who brings the light back into your life. And no matter how hard they try to keep the secrets piling up around them, something is very likely to break. They can only hope that it won't be their hearts...or their lives.
It is amazing to realize that it has barely been fifty years since the decriminalization of homosexuality here in America--and that it has been even less than that is some places. After growing up in a world that was tolerant--at school--and less tolerant--at home--but not cruel, I find it mind boggling that not so long ago men and women could lose their freedom and their lives because of who they are. And that it still goes on now. This is the world we live in--and it was the world of Rafe and Ben. These two men may need each other, may find their missing pieces in the arms of each other, but there is always a specter on the horizon--what they are could very well end up costing them everything. But--and I think I am growing to appreciate the real struggle this is--they try to live their lives anyways. As best they can. In the way that leaves hope for a future where not everything is a secret. But everything just as precious.
Rafe's heritage was something I found handled very well. The subtle hints, and then the revelation, fit so well. It was obvious in the way that a good mystery is--with hindsight and a liberal dash of of course!. I loved his struggle to reconcile his past, his childhood, with his present, and the secrets he feels he must keep. And having just read something that was attempting this, but fell short, it was refreshing to see that the topic can be handled with finesse as well with real feeling. You can't help but sympathize with Rafe's struggle, because he feels it so keenly. And he has no one to talk to, no one to lighten his load. And then he finds Ben--and he is afraid that the truth might be the very thing that throws him back into darkness, instead of bringing it into the light.
Perhaps what I love about historical novels is that there is not guarantee of a happily ever after. If there is one thing that history has taught us, it is that good people don't always die well into their 90's surrounded by the family and friends they love. Bad things happen to good people. And sometimes you have to hope that the story that ends on the page goes on to live in our heads--in cheerful, blissful, ignorance. But if ever I wished an ever-after, of happiest proportions, it would be on these two. They have gone through so much to just get to a place where they best they can do is happy secrecy. I love that it feels so real, this caveat, this asterisk, on their HEA, but it is heartbreaking as well. I wish them all the best, for I adore their story, and will happily pretend that that they are now old, wrinkled men, sitting side-by-side, and yelling at the children to get off their lawn. How can I not, when Ben would do anything for his Rafe?
I did not realize that this was a bit of a Christmas-time story when I picked it up, but it was a rather nice surprise, and fits in nicely with my ravenous craving for all things holiday and family and presents. I loved the historical aspects, and was quite heartbroken and heartened by the love story between these two. This is such a very very good book. And really, I didn't expect anything less from Z.A. Maxfield. 5 stars. Pick it up to add to your Christmas story pile, even though it is not strictly all about the mistletoe and pre-fluffed Santas.
Rafe Colman's life is about selling an image. Not only at work, but for himself as well. 1955, ten years after a war that left a continent torn, and Rafe's family dead, Rafe is selling himself as the ideal bachelor. Well-off, charming, sexy, untouchable, and with a touch of mystery. But the facade is a lie, and the only one that's around to see the real him is his dog. Till a malicious act of vandalism brings Officer Ben Morgan to his door, and into his life.
Being an Officer of the Law does pose certain problems for Ben. What with his homosexual tendencies still being a matter for prosecution--and it certainly doesn't help that his partner on the force is a racist, homophobic, bigoted asshole. But he can't stop himself from wanting Rafe. From wanting to protect him, know him...maybe even one day love him. So even though it is illegal, and even though it could very well get him killed if certain people started to suspect, Ben goes back to Rafe's house on the very thin hope that Rafe could possibly, just maybe, feel the same about him.
But living in the shadows isn't easy, especially when your falling for someone who brings the light back into your life. And no matter how hard they try to keep the secrets piling up around them, something is very likely to break. They can only hope that it won't be their hearts...or their lives.
What must it be like to live with the knowledge that who you are would get you killed? Not just with the idea, which was always in the background for Ben, but with visceral, physical evidence of grim reality fresh in your mind. Ben had been cautious--but never truly afraid. He'd seen ugly beatings, even murder, but he'd been insulated behind the badge, and that protected him from taking the facts inside him. He'd never seen the results of bigotry as personal to him. He'd never imagined anything like what happened to Rafe--to Walter Hart--could happen to him.
He'd never had this much to lose before.
It is amazing to realize that it has barely been fifty years since the decriminalization of homosexuality here in America--and that it has been even less than that is some places. After growing up in a world that was tolerant--at school--and less tolerant--at home--but not cruel, I find it mind boggling that not so long ago men and women could lose their freedom and their lives because of who they are. And that it still goes on now. This is the world we live in--and it was the world of Rafe and Ben. These two men may need each other, may find their missing pieces in the arms of each other, but there is always a specter on the horizon--what they are could very well end up costing them everything. But--and I think I am growing to appreciate the real struggle this is--they try to live their lives anyways. As best they can. In the way that leaves hope for a future where not everything is a secret. But everything just as precious.
Rafe's heritage was something I found handled very well. The subtle hints, and then the revelation, fit so well. It was obvious in the way that a good mystery is--with hindsight and a liberal dash of of course!. I loved his struggle to reconcile his past, his childhood, with his present, and the secrets he feels he must keep. And having just read something that was attempting this, but fell short, it was refreshing to see that the topic can be handled with finesse as well with real feeling. You can't help but sympathize with Rafe's struggle, because he feels it so keenly. And he has no one to talk to, no one to lighten his load. And then he finds Ben--and he is afraid that the truth might be the very thing that throws him back into darkness, instead of bringing it into the light.
What was reality? Silence? And empty bed? Going to and from work and out with friends, but always remaining detached? Or this fairy tale where he could have what he wanted, a man lying beside him at night. Someone he could care for? Was his new reality a man who fussed over him as tenderly as his Mutti and brought him pleasure like he'd never known?
You couldn't be and Austrian boy and not know how fairy tales really end.
Perhaps what I love about historical novels is that there is not guarantee of a happily ever after. If there is one thing that history has taught us, it is that good people don't always die well into their 90's surrounded by the family and friends they love. Bad things happen to good people. And sometimes you have to hope that the story that ends on the page goes on to live in our heads--in cheerful, blissful, ignorance. But if ever I wished an ever-after, of happiest proportions, it would be on these two. They have gone through so much to just get to a place where they best they can do is happy secrecy. I love that it feels so real, this caveat, this asterisk, on their HEA, but it is heartbreaking as well. I wish them all the best, for I adore their story, and will happily pretend that that they are now old, wrinkled men, sitting side-by-side, and yelling at the children to get off their lawn. How can I not, when Ben would do anything for his Rafe?
He didn't know much about love, but he was stupid for Rafe Colman.
I did not realize that this was a bit of a Christmas-time story when I picked it up, but it was a rather nice surprise, and fits in nicely with my ravenous craving for all things holiday and family and presents. I loved the historical aspects, and was quite heartbroken and heartened by the love story between these two. This is such a very very good book. And really, I didn't expect anything less from Z.A. Maxfield. 5 stars. Pick it up to add to your Christmas story pile, even though it is not strictly all about the mistletoe and pre-fluffed Santas.
April 10, 2012
The last few ZAM books have been good but they haven’t hit the high notes of previous books for me. Finally Secret Light delivers the addictive and engaging prose by Maxfield I love so much. Here the story flows so easily with wonderful characters that the few flaws and obvious story manipulations are easy to forgive. There’s not such a defined happy ending but it fits with the time period and general story making it easy to see there likely will be a happy ending, even if it’s not spelled out. The tone is more subdued, as fits the story and characters, so this isn’t exactly a feel good holiday story, nor is it exactly a Hanukkah story, but it’s definitely worth reading and I quite liked it.
Rafe Colman lives an outwardly neat and successful life. He’s well respected and liked at his real estate job, not to mention wildly successful. He also appears to have incredible luck with the ladies too. What no one knows or suspects is that the Austrian born man is living in fear of being discovered for who he really is. Rafe lives a very lonely life surrounded by his memories of horrible acts. From his parents deaths to the harassment and murder of his only friends, a gay couple, Rafe doesn’t believe in happy endings. Officer Ben Morgan isn’t sure he believes things can work out but he knows Rafe is worth the effort.
The tone of the story is definitely more subdued than other stories in the genre but it’s far from depressing or sad. Instead it fits with the time frame, 1955, where openly gay couples just didn’t really exist; especially not openly gay cops. The story is very well written with complex characters to show the reality of the situation while also offering the hope of happiness for these two men. They’re well suited and while Rafe may never give up his very real fears, he at least has someone that understands him and loves him. It’s the understanding that blossoms between the two men that turns into love, rather than a lot of wild sex, and thus their love feels more complete and honest. I can believe these two fall in love and want to share some kind of life together, against the odds or with them.
The writing is top notch and a return to that lyrical, flowing form that works so well for Maxfield. There’s an ease to the story so it just moves effortlessly from scene to scene, incorporating a great deal of detail and atmosphere. It’s a little heavy in the beginning but soon evens out and stays in the background so readers never forget but don’t feel overwhelmed with historical details. Likewise the characters are very consistent throughout the story, never acting in ways contrary to their depictions. They make sense and furthermore are very complex, well developed men. They’re not cookie cutter in any way but have fears, hopes, and a very nice self-awareness. It’s rare but refreshing to see characters aware of perceived bad traits but unable to change them. It makes the characters feel more honest and genuine.
Secret Light mixes wonderful writing with conceptually great characters. The execution is nearly perfect with only a few stumbles. Some of the resolutions are too easy and too pat, something to wrap up a loose end rather than a well devised plot point. However the story itself is so engaging and interesting that these issues are easy for me to forgive. Another point is that the numerous German phrases didn’t add much to the story. Since Rafe rarely spoke German due to his fears, it seems a bit silly to think he’d all of a sudden speak so much. Perhaps to the dog sure but he spoke quite a bit to Ben early on that seemed out of place and just there to add flair to the story. It’s an easy flaw to forgive or ignore but I didn’t think it had to be there.
Overall I quite enjoyed reading Secret Light and it suited my mood well. It’s not a story I’ll re-read or particularly want to keep but I’m glad I read it. It’s also a book I’d recommend others read if they’re looking for a well written, compelling story that’s different from the masses in the genre. It’s worthwhile for that alone but the excellent writing and good characters shouldn’t be missed either.
Rafe Colman lives an outwardly neat and successful life. He’s well respected and liked at his real estate job, not to mention wildly successful. He also appears to have incredible luck with the ladies too. What no one knows or suspects is that the Austrian born man is living in fear of being discovered for who he really is. Rafe lives a very lonely life surrounded by his memories of horrible acts. From his parents deaths to the harassment and murder of his only friends, a gay couple, Rafe doesn’t believe in happy endings. Officer Ben Morgan isn’t sure he believes things can work out but he knows Rafe is worth the effort.
The tone of the story is definitely more subdued than other stories in the genre but it’s far from depressing or sad. Instead it fits with the time frame, 1955, where openly gay couples just didn’t really exist; especially not openly gay cops. The story is very well written with complex characters to show the reality of the situation while also offering the hope of happiness for these two men. They’re well suited and while Rafe may never give up his very real fears, he at least has someone that understands him and loves him. It’s the understanding that blossoms between the two men that turns into love, rather than a lot of wild sex, and thus their love feels more complete and honest. I can believe these two fall in love and want to share some kind of life together, against the odds or with them.
The writing is top notch and a return to that lyrical, flowing form that works so well for Maxfield. There’s an ease to the story so it just moves effortlessly from scene to scene, incorporating a great deal of detail and atmosphere. It’s a little heavy in the beginning but soon evens out and stays in the background so readers never forget but don’t feel overwhelmed with historical details. Likewise the characters are very consistent throughout the story, never acting in ways contrary to their depictions. They make sense and furthermore are very complex, well developed men. They’re not cookie cutter in any way but have fears, hopes, and a very nice self-awareness. It’s rare but refreshing to see characters aware of perceived bad traits but unable to change them. It makes the characters feel more honest and genuine.
Secret Light mixes wonderful writing with conceptually great characters. The execution is nearly perfect with only a few stumbles. Some of the resolutions are too easy and too pat, something to wrap up a loose end rather than a well devised plot point. However the story itself is so engaging and interesting that these issues are easy for me to forgive. Another point is that the numerous German phrases didn’t add much to the story. Since Rafe rarely spoke German due to his fears, it seems a bit silly to think he’d all of a sudden speak so much. Perhaps to the dog sure but he spoke quite a bit to Ben early on that seemed out of place and just there to add flair to the story. It’s an easy flaw to forgive or ignore but I didn’t think it had to be there.
Overall I quite enjoyed reading Secret Light and it suited my mood well. It’s not a story I’ll re-read or particularly want to keep but I’m glad I read it. It’s also a book I’d recommend others read if they’re looking for a well written, compelling story that’s different from the masses in the genre. It’s worthwhile for that alone but the excellent writing and good characters shouldn’t be missed either.
July 18, 2012
All in all I enjoyed this book. It was a pleasant read, but I felt it was not a story that should deserve jumping off the shelf.
First, let me get past the things I didn't like. I don't like characters who smoke! I don't even like people who like characters who smoke. In fact, I don't even like mommies and daddies of people who like people who smoke. (Well, maybe that's a bit far.)
I also don't really like campy, trite dialog. This book was full of that. I really tried to understand Rafe/Rolf. I never really could. He really was a pansy. I guess I'm not totally in understanding of what Holocaust victims went through--not because I don't know the history, but because it's impossible to understand unless you have experienced such an indescribably horrific time in human history. However Rolf never really experienced the Holocaust. He left Austria in at least the early stages, and would have had no knowledge of it until it was uncovered after the War. He did go through some difficult experiences, but I never really understood how any of them made him such a wimp. Being gay in Southern California in 1955, plus being Jewish was certainly not a social advantage...but after all, LA, Hollywood, etc. was rife with a Jewish population...and certainly being gay would not have been unknown.
I had problems with Rafe's constant thinking/talking in German. While I read German quite well and speak it enough to get by, it was rather irritating. (I am convinced that God wants adjectives to come before nouns---jk.) I had problems with Rafe's accent. For someone who felt miserably lonely and out of place (and thus would have wanted to fit in and be un-noticed), and for someone who came to the US at the age of 14 and been here for 18 years, there is little reason he would have an accent. Kids easily up thru mid-teens have no problems learning another language fluently and without accent...that is if the want to.
I felt that the whole plot was weak. There was far more cuddling than plot development. When I look back at the character development, Ben didn't really change much. We don't really know much about him at all, other than he is a cop and is Catholic with a semi-understanding/conservative/liberal-leaning mom. Rafe seems to show a bit more development. At least he seems to come to some kind of peace with himself.
But....with all those negatives...
What I did enjoy was the sweet falling-in-love portion of the story. I'm a sucker for that kind of romance, and it was indeed tender. I have to say that the last few pages were the best. It seemed like it took almost the entire book to get to an emotional level, but once it did, it was a great ending.
So...if you're looking for character development or an exciting plot, this is not really a good book for you. However if you're into a sweet, cuddly story to read by the fire some night, this is perfect.
First, let me get past the things I didn't like. I don't like characters who smoke! I don't even like people who like characters who smoke. In fact, I don't even like mommies and daddies of people who like people who smoke. (Well, maybe that's a bit far.)
I also don't really like campy, trite dialog. This book was full of that. I really tried to understand Rafe/Rolf. I never really could. He really was a pansy. I guess I'm not totally in understanding of what Holocaust victims went through--not because I don't know the history, but because it's impossible to understand unless you have experienced such an indescribably horrific time in human history. However Rolf never really experienced the Holocaust. He left Austria in at least the early stages, and would have had no knowledge of it until it was uncovered after the War. He did go through some difficult experiences, but I never really understood how any of them made him such a wimp. Being gay in Southern California in 1955, plus being Jewish was certainly not a social advantage...but after all, LA, Hollywood, etc. was rife with a Jewish population...and certainly being gay would not have been unknown.
I had problems with Rafe's constant thinking/talking in German. While I read German quite well and speak it enough to get by, it was rather irritating. (I am convinced that God wants adjectives to come before nouns---jk.) I had problems with Rafe's accent. For someone who felt miserably lonely and out of place (and thus would have wanted to fit in and be un-noticed), and for someone who came to the US at the age of 14 and been here for 18 years, there is little reason he would have an accent. Kids easily up thru mid-teens have no problems learning another language fluently and without accent...that is if the want to.
I felt that the whole plot was weak. There was far more cuddling than plot development. When I look back at the character development, Ben didn't really change much. We don't really know much about him at all, other than he is a cop and is Catholic with a semi-understanding/conservative/liberal-leaning mom. Rafe seems to show a bit more development. At least he seems to come to some kind of peace with himself.
But....with all those negatives...
What I did enjoy was the sweet falling-in-love portion of the story. I'm a sucker for that kind of romance, and it was indeed tender. I have to say that the last few pages were the best. It seemed like it took almost the entire book to get to an emotional level, but once it did, it was a great ending.
So...if you're looking for character development or an exciting plot, this is not really a good book for you. However if you're into a sweet, cuddly story to read by the fire some night, this is perfect.
May 15, 2016
<**3.5 Stars**
In lieu of writing reviews – I’m taking an extended break – I decided to leave this list showing some of the reasons for the stars I’ve given to the stories I’ve read.
5 Stars – Given to stories that had me falling in love with the characters or stories where I hated the characters but the author had me hooked. For stories that had me so engaged in the plot I couldn’t put the book down and stories that either made me cry buckets and/or laugh until I cried. In short…. these ones rocked my world!!!
4 Stars– Given to stories that I REALLY, REALLY enjoyed reading but had me wishing for just a bit more.
3 Stars – Given to stories that I thought were worth the read but they didn’t knock my socks off.
2 Stars – Given to stories that didn’t work for me. I couldn’t connect to the MCs or feel any sort of connection between them. I couldn’t follow the plot or there wasn’t a plot. Every so often one of these stories just needs work to fix what went wrong but mostly 2 star reads are stories that leave me wondering why I kept reading until the end.
1 Star - I RARELY give out 1 Star so when I do it means the story was a complete train wreck.
I know what I may love another reader may wonder what the hell I was thinking and vise versa but I’m okay with that!
November 13, 2012
I loved this book. When I started reading it at first I was a bit skeptical, normally a book like this is not that good. But from the moment I picked it up, I was drawn into the story and fell in love with the characters. Although it has serious topics, I could not help feeling like this book gives hope in a sense. It also shows how good people can actually be.
I loved Rafe and Ben, they were a sweet couple and although this book does not span a long period of time, it was worth reading about them. Rafe's past is filled with pain, and even when every secret was out of the box, Ben still loved him. Ed, Rafe's neighbour was a great character also. It was amazing to see such a nice old man who did not seem to mind what was going on.
The setting of the story was very nice, and the Christmas time theme was great. I loved reading this book :)
I loved Rafe and Ben, they were a sweet couple and although this book does not span a long period of time, it was worth reading about them. Rafe's past is filled with pain, and even when every secret was out of the box, Ben still loved him. Ed, Rafe's neighbour was a great character also. It was amazing to see such a nice old man who did not seem to mind what was going on.
The setting of the story was very nice, and the Christmas time theme was great. I loved reading this book :)
January 7, 2012
I read about this book from the review website Reviews by Jessewave, and this review pretty much sums up how great this book is:
http://www.reviewsbyjessewave.com/201...
The setting for this story initially caught my interest - a m/m romance story set in the fifties? I was concerned it wouldn't feel authentic, but great writing transcends time setting, genre...anything. And Maxfield has written a beautiful story about two characters I grew deeply invested in. And this story has the best dog ever - Mooki. And I loved Ed, Rafe's kind and wise neighbor.
I would love to read more of Rafe and Ben.
http://www.reviewsbyjessewave.com/201...
The setting for this story initially caught my interest - a m/m romance story set in the fifties? I was concerned it wouldn't feel authentic, but great writing transcends time setting, genre...anything. And Maxfield has written a beautiful story about two characters I grew deeply invested in. And this story has the best dog ever - Mooki. And I loved Ed, Rafe's kind and wise neighbor.
I would love to read more of Rafe and Ben.
October 30, 2019
Lovely! My heart just aches for poor Rafe, hiding from everyone to stay safe. I'm so glad Ben was brave enough to break through his veneer.
January 19, 2021
Sometimes you just gotta read through the free ebooks on amazon and maybe youll find something you actually enjoy
Anyways um, yea
2021 the year of self indulgence
Anyways um, yea
2021 the year of self indulgence
March 2, 2016
I don't know what I was expecting when I started this book but it turned out to be an incredibly wonderful surprise and delight. Need to track down who rec'd this to me but in the meantime THANK YOU!
Very well-written, beautiful flow, I was immediately invested in the characters. It is so well done that you may find yourself double-checking the publishing date as you scratch your head and ask, "So, this was written in the 50's then?" This HAD to be how it felt.
All Los Angeles readers will recognize Inglewood and downtown LA areas. With no mention of freeways. Ben works LAPD when I guess it covered the whole of of LA.
I love coming across books with familiar locales and landmarks.
It's a fascinating read on several levels. The love story is very real for what anyone could imagine it was like for the gay community after World War II
It truly illustrates the loneliness. And I don't think there was actually a gay community in those days. These men were so isolated before they met and then when they became a couple. The author puts you deeply into what the energy and times had to be.
I was constantly worried that they would get found out. I watched them live their well-crafted lives in public. In their work environments and personal lives in general.
There's so much more to the story than what I've said here. Rolf's backstory is just another example of this author's talent for a well-woven story.
The minute I finished this I checked my TBR for this author & saw that I have her book, "My Cowboy Homecoming" so I immediately started that. I've only just started it and I already ran to Amazon to get 1 & 2 of this series.
I didn't feel as though I was reading a book - I was lost in what felt like real people in real lives.
Such fine, fine writing. I am her latest forever-fan!
Very well-written, beautiful flow, I was immediately invested in the characters. It is so well done that you may find yourself double-checking the publishing date as you scratch your head and ask, "So, this was written in the 50's then?" This HAD to be how it felt.
All Los Angeles readers will recognize Inglewood and downtown LA areas. With no mention of freeways. Ben works LAPD when I guess it covered the whole of of LA.
I love coming across books with familiar locales and landmarks.
It's a fascinating read on several levels. The love story is very real for what anyone could imagine it was like for the gay community after World War II
It truly illustrates the loneliness. And I don't think there was actually a gay community in those days. These men were so isolated before they met and then when they became a couple. The author puts you deeply into what the energy and times had to be.
I was constantly worried that they would get found out. I watched them live their well-crafted lives in public. In their work environments and personal lives in general.
There's so much more to the story than what I've said here. Rolf's backstory is just another example of this author's talent for a well-woven story.
The minute I finished this I checked my TBR for this author & saw that I have her book, "My Cowboy Homecoming" so I immediately started that. I've only just started it and I already ran to Amazon to get 1 & 2 of this series.
I didn't feel as though I was reading a book - I was lost in what felt like real people in real lives.
Such fine, fine writing. I am her latest forever-fan!
June 7, 2012
Rafe Coleman has it all. Top salesman in a great firm for months running, good looks, the envy of his peers, a wonderful dog....so why is his life so hollow? It's because Rafe has been living a lie. It's 1955 and Rafe has a lot to hide. Namely his religion and his sexual preference. No one knows the real Rafe, but the little they do know engenders plenty of bigotry and hatred. Although he is Austrian and not German, and he very carefully hides his religion and his attraction to men, his accent and blonde hair, blue-eyed look is close enough to German that Rafe's house is subjected to vandalism and Rafe is the victim to random acts of violence.
Officer Ben Morgan and his partner investigate some of the crimes against Rafe but Ben's partner is as bigoted as the perpetrators. Ben on the other hand sees the victimized and lost man and feels the need to protect him.
I thought Ben was a wonderful and enlightened man for his time and Rafe was sweet and likeable. I wasn't sure how the author was going to end this book because there isn't really such a thing as a happy ending when you're gay in the 50's, but she did a wonderful job.
Officer Ben Morgan and his partner investigate some of the crimes against Rafe but Ben's partner is as bigoted as the perpetrators. Ben on the other hand sees the victimized and lost man and feels the need to protect him.
I thought Ben was a wonderful and enlightened man for his time and Rafe was sweet and likeable. I wasn't sure how the author was going to end this book because there isn't really such a thing as a happy ending when you're gay in the 50's, but she did a wonderful job.
January 7, 2013
Short review because SIN is reviewing it separately in a couple of days.
First book by Maxfield that I've read, although I've heard good things. I was very impressed with the writing, the prose flows well and the sense of time and place - and the inherent dangers of those - are well shown and never ignored.
It's not really my cup of tea all over because it's rather formulaic (but I do understand this is the genre expectations) and the addition of the disgracefully cute dog only garnered an extra point than a cute kid would (becoming so common it annoys me) however I did panic when something happened to the dog and then that's all I could worry about. I think that's worrying that I'm more concerned for the cute dog than I was for the romance...
However, absolutely can't fault the writing and I'd certainly read any further historicals that Maxfield wrote so recommended.
First book by Maxfield that I've read, although I've heard good things. I was very impressed with the writing, the prose flows well and the sense of time and place - and the inherent dangers of those - are well shown and never ignored.
It's not really my cup of tea all over because it's rather formulaic (but I do understand this is the genre expectations) and the addition of the disgracefully cute dog only garnered an extra point than a cute kid would (becoming so common it annoys me) however I did panic when something happened to the dog and then that's all I could worry about. I think that's worrying that I'm more concerned for the cute dog than I was for the romance...
However, absolutely can't fault the writing and I'd certainly read any further historicals that Maxfield wrote so recommended.
May 2, 2015
The only thing that I didn't like about this book was the feeling like the other shoe was going to drop. I hate books that give me that feeling!!!! Other than that, I really enjoyed this book. It was nice to read about this story being in the 1950s. Rafe was so innocent and completely believable. I definitely could understand why he was scared.
Mooki, the dog, was too cute and Ed, the neighbor, very sweet. I can't believe at one point in time you could get arrested for being a homosexual!!! Ben was the perfect person to bring Rafe out of his shell. I'm glad we got a happy ending!
Mooki, the dog, was too cute and Ed, the neighbor, very sweet. I can't believe at one point in time you could get arrested for being a homosexual!!! Ben was the perfect person to bring Rafe out of his shell. I'm glad we got a happy ending!
December 28, 2020
3.5 out of 5 - Honest Historical Holiday Happenings
I liked that there were a number of interesting things going on here, the historical period of McCarthyism, and a few things that needed to be kept secret due to the prejudices and hate that gave reign to. Hmm, sounds familiar even 65 years later. So I could relate, and it was nice to see the good people as well, including the two MCs. I thought things were a bit predictable and the two didn't always approach things as two guys would, like the sex. But they ended up being honest to themselves and each other even in this time.
I liked that there were a number of interesting things going on here, the historical period of McCarthyism, and a few things that needed to be kept secret due to the prejudices and hate that gave reign to. Hmm, sounds familiar even 65 years later. So I could relate, and it was nice to see the good people as well, including the two MCs. I thought things were a bit predictable and the two didn't always approach things as two guys would, like the sex. But they ended up being honest to themselves and each other even in this time.
September 15, 2013
This was an intriguing story about the secrets people keep. Rafe appears to be a successful salesman and a complete ladies man. The reality is completely different. He is scared and lonely and his only friend is his dog. After someone sets fire to his garage he meets Ben, a policeman who investigates the crime. Ben totally changes Rafe's life and he struggles to adjust and to overcome his fear. There is a lot of pain in this book but also a great deal of hope and love.
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