Oops! I Joined The Good Guys

by Rogue_Roxy

What if the Deathly Hallows was done differently?

What if some of the bad guys were not so bad?
What if there was a lot more collaboration and communication?
What if Draco ends up on the run with the Golden Trio?

Rules:
Please do not tell Rodolphus where Severus hides the good wine.
Please do not cast Muffliato spells around Phineas.
Please do not tell Draco he is about to go camping.

Genres: Fan Fiction, Fantasy, Romance, Romantasy, Forced Proximity

301 pages, AO3 story

Published November 10, 2024

Reviews

[Maria InkSorceress · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed so hard I cried. Repeatedly. Highly recommend.

[Ashley Chantelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deathly Hallows rewrite but make it funny?? Yes absolutely, this had me giggling like an idiot lol

didn’t have a super satisfying wrap up and epilogue was a little weird but this was still a fun silly time

[Joleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this fan fiction it was funny, unhinged and such an easy read!

Loved that a different person was included as a main character like Rudolphus. Loved that Severus, Rudolphus and Phineas were eating up teenage drama ❤️

3am club was absolutely hilarious and mint body wash as an initiation priceless 🤣

[Jo Kerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh wow, I just loved this Dramione fan fiction, which is an alternative take on the deathly hallows.

The writing is amazing and it’s funny too - I laughed out loud so many times. There’s a great dynamic between Harry, Draco and Hermione, especially as Draco learns about the Muggle world. Be prepared to snort with laughter!

The story is written in multiple POVs which added to the interest for me. I loved all the characters and was rooting for them all.

What you’ll get;
- enemies (mild) to friends to lovers
- A little Ron bashing
- Horcrux missions
- Hilarious Draco
- Slytherin capers
- Flirting/slow burn
- Cynical Snape (who secretly enjoys gossip)
- Supportive Narcissa
- HEA

I will definitely be searching out more work by Rogue Roxy and highly recommend this FF.

[Daniela Filipa · Rating 4 out of 5]

E 2025 começa como? That’s right! Com uma fic! Surprise surprise

Esta foi um universo alternativo em que o Draco se junta ao trio maravilha, na busca das horcruxes. Só que em vez do tema deprimente a que estou habituada nas fics, esta meteu bue piada!

Primeiro, a fic começa com uma pov do Rodolphus Lestrange, que me fez ficar “mas ele aparece nos filmes/livros sequer?”, mas amei, porque my man was SO FUNNY! Melhor personagem do livro!
O severus também estava a meter bue piada, com a sua atitude de zero fucks e amante de caos e fofocas. As interações deles foram tudo!

Depois, a plot principal é que eles fingem a morte do Draco, para o Voldemort não o matar/torturar, e ele junta-se ao Harry, Hermione e Ron, no resto do tempo. A parte engraçada, é que o Draco flirta com a Hermione e o Harry 24/7, e eles flirtam de volta! Eu amo quando o Harry e o Draco são amigos.
Claro que há meio Ron Bashing, mas isso também já não é novidade, mas ele depois volta à história e melhora um bocadinho.

A melhor parte da fic foi o Snape, o Rodolphus e o retrato do Phineas Black, fofocarem diariamente sobre o que acontecia entre o Harry, Hermione, Ron e Draco.

Esta fic tb me fez perceber no quão mais fácil tinha sido se o Snape ajudasse o trio na busca das horcruxes e no jeito que dava se realmente o Draco fosse amigo deles e pudesse passar informações importantes do lado do Voldy. Well, that’s what fics are for!

Ri muito com esta fic. Leu-se super bem e foi pequena. Ótima maneira de começar o ano!

[Joanka Stefaniak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Po kilku ciężkich tytułach, przy tym, uśmiałam się jak norka.

[Layla · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE!

[Rachel B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some of the best comedy known on planet earth.

[Amelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

was the five stars not enough?
no?
well if you’re in a bad mood but want something lengthy and well written read this absolutely hilarious masterpiece, i loved every second of it.

[Keshia Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

After secrets and masks, I needed this one. Non. Stop. Laughter. Read it. Over and over.

[alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super funny and an absolutely amazing pallet cleanser ❤️

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75⭐️

This was good but not great. Parts were hilarious and some even moving…. But others were overdone and overused

[Katy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Purely for the vibes ✌🏻
This had me cackling from start to finish 🤣

[Luisa Bermudez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a fun ride. This felt like a comedy version of The Disappearances of Draco Malfoy, which honestly is my canon Deathly Hallows because I much preferred it. This story basically asks, What if the Wizarding War had gone differently? What if the grown-ups actually helped, the fed-up Death Eaters deserted Voldy, and everyone just decided to be direct and transparent for once?

🚨🚨
TBH, yeah… why didn’t Snape help the Golden Trio more in Deathly Hallows? Why didn’t the Malfoys and other clearly-exhausted baddies just switch sides? Why did Harry destroy the Elder Wand when it could have helped so many? And why not use the Resurrection Stone for good?

I really enjoyed this story, and I definitely needed something light and happy after Green Light. I loved the interactions between all the characters, even the ones I couldn’t care less about before (Rodolphus, I’m looking at you). I highly doubt Draco would have been this chipper, sarcastic, and funny with the Trio so quickly, but honestly, I love that version of him, so I won’t question it.

As for the plot, Roxy absolutely nails it. She knows her audience and doesn’t waste time overexplaining things, assuming readers already know Deathly Hallows inside out. Draco fakes his death and joins the Golden Trio on their Horcrux hunt. This time, Snape and Rodolphus actually help, both in tracking down and delivering the Horcruxes (the Slytherin locket, the cup, Nagini), and they share their theories on the others. They even help figure out the truth about the Elder Wand (that Harry is its current master) and the eighth Horcrux inside him. They test their theory on Nagini first, succeed, and then just casually Avada Harry for a minute to remove his piece of Voldemort’s soul.

We all win. No one dies. Everyone lives happily ever after. Man, communication really is a game changer, isn’t it?

4.5/5

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an irreverent, whimsical and wild ride this fic was! Did I have to seriously suspend belief about certain things? Yes. Was it the best written? No. But did it make me laugh over and over again? Hell yes. I loved the different POVs and the lack of any real tension. This felt like fluffy, fluffy fan fic and I loved it. It was basically a rewrite of HP7, but with the premise of “What if it was insanely easy to hunt down and destroy horcruxes?” Truly, everything seemed to just work itself out and my brain feels calm and smooth now.

- Gay, hilarious rodolphus
- Hella f*cking between Voldy and Bella
- Easiest horcruxes hunt ever
- Mint body wash + 3am club
- Phineas Nigellus + Snape, basically “my soap is on” - riverdale meets reality tv basically
- Locket horcrux showed threesome
- Very decent smut - dining room table, snake’s desk (THE INKWELL)
- Narcissa Malfoy having an absolutely awesome sense of humor, which she shares with her son
- Harry befriending Snape at the end, calling him Sev
- Resurrection stone offering the new in-school counseling services (Harry sharing and letting everyone use it)
- Molly attacking Fenrir as revenge for Bill, Neville/rodolphus taking on Bella as revenge/penance for Franklin and Alice
- Not nearly enough Luna, but Dobby lives! And inadvertently witnesses an explicit good morning from HG to DM

[Em · Rating 4 out of 5]

🤣 Warning: reading this may cause uncontrollable laughter and spontaneous snorting.

I cannot stress this enough: if you’re not reading this fic, you are missing out on elite banter and comedy, like Draco losing his wizard mind in a Muggle mall seeing lingerie windows, slinkies and sex toys!

I have actually laughed out loud the whole time – not like a polite chuckle, but full-on cackling like Phineas in the corner portrait (who, btw, deserves his own spin-off. Icon).

Draco, Hermione, and Harry have the chaotic energy of a found family. And let’s not forget Rodolphus and Snape’s bromance and hero moment!

The fic was pure joy!

[Bobbi Lawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun and fast book. I liked the different take on the events that took place. I loved the multiple POVs and laughed so much!!! The character development was so good. Was this ever serious? No. Did I still enjoy it? Yes. I mean there was depth to the characters even though it was very light hearted. I think had we got more of an ending I would have gave it a 4.5. I do feel like it just ended. Period, done. And then we got a party. I do like that we started and ended with Rodolphus. That made it funny. But all and all if you like the characters and want something out of the norm would recommend this book!

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely ridiculous and a rollicking good time. Tired of all those heavy, serious fics where everyone broods and no one communicates? Read this instead. Guaranteed to make you laugh out loud at their shenanigans and restore your hope in the ability of adults to be responsible and teens to have fun. I enjoyed many of the divergences from the original Deathly Hallows book and thought the author had some clever solutions/ideas for how things could have gone better. Moderately spicy ;)

[Kaitlin Cassell]

Guys I have to stop with the dramione but I can’t this girl Cort on TikTok has inserted an Ao3 drip straight into my veins and it’s honestly no longer a choice.

Anyways this was hilarious and I’m accepting this as cannon simply because I need Draco to have worn a latex nurse costume. And honestly we need more portrait humor in our fics because I’m DEAD with the portrait telephone miscommunication and Dumbledore pretending to sleep is priceless. This is 1000% how the horcruxes were found.

[Haley Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great reimagining of my least favorite Harry Potter book. I read this at work, and I almost got caught multiple times because I was laughing so hard. I will say, I was promised more spice, and the book didn’t quite deliver in that department; however, it was so good and well-written that I really didn’t care.

[Sofia Schwartz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deathly Hallows rewrite with some Dramione? Hell yeah.
I almost peed myself laughing during the whole fic. This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. I LOVED Rodolphus in this 😭🫶🏻
I enjoyed the daily updates from Phineas as much as Sev and Rodolphus did omg I was dying.

If you like the Harry Potter series… just read this. You won’t regret it.

[Imogen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is honestly one of the funniest books I’ve ever read, it’s exactly my type of humour and literally every character was amazing. I really wish it was longer because I didn’t want it to end😭

I loved that Rodolphus was used as a main character, I thought that was very unique especially having him be one of the “good guys”. Definitely one of my favourite light-hearted Dramione fics!

[alyssa opré · Rating 2 out of 5]

Womp wompppp, this was a huge letdown. I’m so surprised at the overall rating on this book after having suffered through it. I really disliked all the different POV’s, I prefer just Draco and Hermionie’s. The plot was incredibly boring and the dialog felt juvenile, they are 18, so I guess that checks out.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Slytherin style celebrating! Slytherin style celebrating! Slytherin style celebrating! She chants while they wheel her back to the psych ward.
Also-
MALFOY IN A LATEX NURSE’S COSTUME! I repeat: MALFOY in a LATEX nurse costume!

[Connie Feng · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's been awhile since I read a crack HP fanfic. Not my kind of humor (think high-school boy humor, but it makes sense since they're basically high schoolers), but a lighthearted read where basically everything goes right!

[Brechtje Small · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay so I really enjoyed this. It was a page turner for sure. The only thing I didn’t really like was the fact that there was like 0 build up for Draco to suddenly like the golden trio. He was just nice to them from the start. But that also made it a really fun read. So I still enjoyed it.

[Claire Corkill · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars
A easy fanfic read with some good plot points throughout, but just got kind of stupid toward the end.

Nice to read an alternate universe retelling of Deathly Hallows (as opposed to an ‘after the war’ fic), also fun to get some POV from Rodolphous 😂

[Sarah ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Placeholder for The Hogwarts Photography Club🖤

[Nika Pribulová · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious and so so gooooood 💙💙💙

[Katie Loosle · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars. Funny, but towards the end I was rolling my eyes at some of the stuff that was happening. Though I did think it was very clever how she changed how the deathly hallows happened.