This book is “almost.” Almost finished. Almost plotted. Almost a good read. It comes close, but it reads like a rough draft needing a ruthless edit. The plot is interesting, the characters less so. This is not because of the length (98 pages), but because of the choices the writer made regarding what to include, what to leave out. Ninety-eight pages can pack a lot of power, or they can be an excuse not to flesh out the plotlines and main characters.
Alexandra (“Alex”) Mountbatten Rashing, the widowed Viscountess Amberly, is a bit clueless, for all that the writer tells us she’s intelligent and quick-witted. She does not demonstrate either trait here. Cortland (“Cort”) DeWitt, twin to Knox, the Duke of Herschel, is the man who, ten or so years ago, had a massive crush on Alexandra, five years his senior. Both, of course, are beautiful people. She’s a beauty who eschews another marriage, and he is a handsome rake with a reputation for pleasuring women for one night only.
The plot is thin to the point of emaciation. Cort has never forgotten the only woman to capture his heart. Alex remembers him, too, as a terrible brat who—with his two brothers—bedeviled her when they were children. The DeWitt brothers (Cort, Knox, and Damien) “had been a thorn in her side.” They’d played unwanted pranks on her and her memories are not particularly pleasant. However…when she glimpses the now grownup Cort, she lusts all over herself because he is a gorgeous hunk of man. She is in the throes of lust and can’t help herself. He ignores her. But as soon as he’s home by himself…he lusts after her, too. That’s the story. They lust after each other, decide to follow through on all this lusting, then decide this lust must be love and find themselves in an HEA.
Good heavens! Ninety-eight pages of this, and “this” could have been condensed to perhaps twenty pages. What fills the pages up are:
1) Excruciating backward glimpses in time, flashbacks that tell how they felt, what they did, who did what to whom;
2) Lusting, rutting, hungering, devouring, more lusting, still more lusting, lots of sex…BUT…no romance.
That’s it.
There is indeed a great deal of lusting followed quickly by a great deal of sex. Some conversations between the two are interesting, but most of the time, there’s little need for conversation. I don’t mind lust or sex, but I want romance to go along with it. These two had a shared past, but not a long one, and only for a while during childhood. There was time for attraction (on his part, at least), but not a true friendship. Neither of them knew each other. When they meet again many years later, they fall heavily into lust, attracted to each other’s beauty.
Our hero, Cort, does have a riding accident and Alex gets to nurse him back to health for a day, after which he retreats and beats himself up for leaving her because even taking himself in hand (ahem!), he’s unable to allay the lust that is flooding him. Neither can she. She’s felt that certain part of his anatomy and wants more. Of course, they jump into sex. But again, there’s no romance.
An even bigger problem than the lack of romance is the writer’s style. I’ve read other books by Ms. Sumner and enjoyed them. This book reads like a (very) rough draft. There are many dependent clauses laying about, and incomplete sentences flood the pages. I counted more than twenty on one page alone. Here are some examples:
“When anyone who knew them understood Cort had Knox by a solid two inches in height.” All the writer needed to do was remove the “When.” Then, it would be a complete sentence: “Anyone who knew them understood Cort had Knox by a solid two inches in height.”
“In the kitchen.”
“When you should be in bed.”
“When she wished to know the man.”
“Had been asked to stay.”
“An encounter with an established expiration date.”
“A rule of the Widow’s League, in fact.”
It often seems as if there are more of these dependent clauses/phrases/incomplete sentences than completed ones. Incomplete sentences, dependent clauses and phrases without verbs can be useful tools. They draw attention to something important. They help make a dialogue move quickly. They make a reader pause to consider a point the writer is making…BUT…page after page after page of these hacked-up quasi-sentences are wearying and annoying to slog through, and they invite speedreading.
There are some errors. For instance:
A pleural noun should be used: “…two folded sheet of foolscap…” should be, “…two folded sheets of foolscap.”
The pleural form of a noun should be used: “…through corrected lens he noted…” This should read, “…through corrected lenses he noted…” If there were just one lens, then “…a corrected lens…” would be fine, but the writer is telling us about a pair of spectacles so, two lenses.
An adjective is used instead of a pronoun: “His blinked, then he threw his head back.” This should read, “He blinked…”
Punctuation errors are egregious in places. I’d recommend a thorough rereading of the Chicago Manual of Style regarding comma usage…or a proofreader.
I rated this book 2.5 stars and rounded down. It feels rushed. More than the story itself, I loved its potential. So much could have been done with this—it has good bones. A boy crushes on a girl just blooming into womanhood and thinks about her off and on for years. She doesn’t think about him at all because he was a huge nuisance. How fascinating would it have been to watch the two renew their relationship, laugh together about the shared moments of their childhood, then realize that they are sharing more than fleeting childhood memories. It would have been interesting to watch them tell one another about their lives, to discuss what had happened, and to begin to feel an inescapable attraction. Further, it would have been so good to see them overcome each other’s beauty and get to know the persons behind the lovely exteriors. Then, lust would be appropriate, and an HEA could have been earned, not simply fallen into. But…that’s not how the story is written. It’s about sex and not much else, certainly not romance.