Dark Squares: How Chess Saved My Life

by Danny Rensch

Educated meets The Queen's Gambit in this extraordinary memoir by International Master and Chess.com co-founder Danny Rensch, who describes his upbringing in an abusive cult – and how chess ended up saving his life

Born into the Church of Immortal Consciousness, Danny Rensch spent his childhood navigating the isolated confines of a cult. Despite psychological manipulation, physical abuse, and neglect, he persevered. An international chess master and world-class commentator, Rensch’s remarkable journey led him to being the face of Chess.com, one of the largest online gaming platforms in the world.  
 
With unflinching honesty, Rensch recounts his life, starting from the moment he discovered chess in the summer of 1995, all the way up to being at the center of the most explosive cheating scandal in chess history.  
  
He chronicles the traumas of being “special” in a cult that forced separation from his mother. Mentored by an alcoholic, Russian chess master, he found solace alongside suffering in his obsession for an ancient game, and chess became his only escape. Rensch rose through the chess ranks until a medical emergency nearly took him out of the game forever. And it almost did, until Chess.com came along.  
 
Deeply heartfelt, keenly reflective, and haunting, Dark Squares is the never-before-told story of Danny Rensch’s resilience, survival, and his enduring love for the game that saved him. 

Genres: Chess, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Biography Memoir, Audiobook, Sports

368 pages, Hardcover

Published September 16, 2025

Reviews

[Angus McGregor · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who grew up during the online chess boom, I devoured the inside story of chess.com from its development as a social media platform to the contemporary battle against cheating.

Additionally, unlike most executive memoirs, Rensch had a compelling backstory as well, having been a victim of one of America's many evangelical cults. That narrative, however, was let down by constant hyperbole and sentimentality. Like most mass market memoirs, a lot of the writing would feel at home on a motivational coffee mug.

[Lance · Rating 5 out of 5]

When one thinks of chess, one won't immediately think of cults, children taken from their parents, tithing and cheating. However, this memoir from the COO of chess.com, Danny Rensch, covers all these topics and more. It makes for one of the most interesting memoirs I have read in a long time.

Starting with Danny's love of chess after watching the movie "Searching for Bobby Fischer", his story moves along quite slowly, but one cannot help but absorb every word Rensch writes about the leaders of the Collective (the name of the cult to which his family belonged) immediately saying his Purpose was to be a chess prodigy. As a result, he was treated somewhat better than other members, but it also led to him being taken away from his mother and placed in the family of one of the leaders - who happened to be his biological father who before this had no contact with him. If this all sounds convoluted - well, it is and it takes careful reading to figure it out.

Rensch then moves through his life of winning tournaments, finding his soulmate who would be his wife Shauna (blessed by the Collective, of course) and his later trauma of alcoholism, tinnitus and his trouble maintaining his grandmaster status until an unlikely encounter with the founders landed him at chess.com. From there, his life did improve, he did reunite with his mother, but there was another troubling aspect. It had to do with the game and the increased cheating by online players, including those achieving master status.

There are also good sections, written in italics on the Kindle version, on the game's history, the impact that machines made on the game, including the famous "Deep Blue" match with Garry Kasparov. Again, more than what any review could include, it's best to read the book. Danny Rensch has opened himself up and shared practically everything he could about not only his chess skills and his work at chess.com, but also an eye-opening look at life inside a cult.

I wish to thank Public Affairs for providing a copy of the book via NetGalley. All opinions expressed in this review are strictly my own.

https://sportsbookguy.blogspot.com/20...

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a must-read. I couldn't put it down. It reminded me in some ways of Educated by Tara Westover. Both Danny and Tara manage to overcome so many challenges and change their lives. Also, reading about the rise of online chess and how that has impacted the game is fascinating.

[Annabel Kingma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, just wow. Heartbreaking. How a cult can almost destroy a life, but then turn it into chess.com.

[Philip Reari · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story is truly stranger than fiction but I guess anyone born into a cult has a head start with that. Being a chess prodigy doesn’t hurt, either. There are periods where the narrative gets carried away with sentiment that saps the energy from the driving force of the story but overall worth the time.

[Connor Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dark Squares is a ln auto biography about Danny Rensch, one of the co founders of chess.com and a man who persevered through a rather unconventional life, and transcending both the character flaws and the outrageous circumstances of growing up ingrained deeply in a cult who’s leader happen to be a chess fanatic.

Dark Squares isn’t really just a book about chess, it’s more like a look at what happens when obsession, ambition, and technology all come to head. The book doesn’t give you easy villains. From Danny’s experience growing up in a cult to the scandal surrounding Hans Briman, where it keeps circling the question of whether cheating is just about bad actors, or if the whole system now almost invites it. When everything is online, tracked, optimized, and monetized, the line between fair play and survival gets blurry.

Danny’s story with Arizona’s Church of Immortal Consciousness is one of the strangest and most disturbing parts of the book. It seems almost off to the side at first, but it ends up echoing the rest of the story in an eerie way. Watching him peel himself out of a system built on absolute belief mirrors what’s happening in the chess world, where certainty is also starting to crack.

The last chapter on Hans Briman and Magnus Hanson Carlsen hits hard because it’s less about who’s “right” and more about how quickly suspicion can spiral out of control. Accusations float faster than proof, careers wobble on rumors, and even the idea of truth starts to feel unstable. The book doesn’t try to solve it—it just lets the unease sit there.

By the end, Dark Squares feels less like a book about chess and more like a book about trust, how it’s built, how it breaks, and how hard it is to get back once it’s gone.

I don’t read many auto biography’s but this is one I would recommend to anyone. Deeply fascinating and engaging, well written and charged with emotion.

[Mindaugas Mozūras · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a cult, the victims are the perpetrators, and the perpetrators are the victims.

I didn't know much about Danny Rensch and his life before reading this book. I was aware of him, as I love chess and play on chess.com, where Danny Rensch serves as Chief Chess Officer. This awareness sparked my interest in picking up the book.

Dark Squares positively surprised me. Danny's story is remarkable, and this memoir bravely delves into the troubling aspects of his life. If you're into chess, it's definitely worth picking up. But honestly, it's also just a great memoir.

[Nate Samuels · Rating 4 out of 5]

A memoir on Danny Rensch, international chess master and cofounder of Chess.com. Danny’s life story was incredibly powerful and moving. THaving grown up in a cult, he suffered from unrealistic expectations, manipulation, and chronic health problems. Despite this, he found an escape in chess, and through his love for the game and his wife’s love for him he was able to channel all of his baggage into the creation of something beautiful: the fulfillment of his ideal to unite the chess community worldwide, making it more accessible and practical as a career. Truly inspiring. I would read a chapter a day before bed and at times it would bring me to tears. Another story that affirms my beliefs that love, gratitude, and empathy are the key to saving the world.

Fav Quote: Acknowledgement section

Overall Rating: 4.4/5

[traveler, learner, lover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unfortunately too relatable and I shed more tears than I expected and wanted too. Though no regrets. Yes, I was going through an unrelated emotionally intense time though that doesn’t change the fact that this honest book came at the right time and gave me hope. I already spend a lot of time on chess.com though going forward I might be feeling a little less guilty about that as I know that the site are truly in the best hands, for the right reason and with the heart at the right place.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

My neighbor works for chess.com and gave me this book to read. I had every intention of skimming the prologue and never finishing it (the list of books an amateur book lover wants to read remains as long as it is ridiculous). I even rehearsed how I would give the book back to my neighbor, eyes slightly downcast and politely demurring, a short statement on the busyness of life and my gratefulness for him lending it to me anyway.

BUT. I could not put this book down. I devoured it. It made me realize that I am a sucker for an escape-from-a-cult story. And then to learn so much about the storied game of chess in the meantime and never be bored. *chef’s kiss* Cheers to Rensch’s editors, as I learned in an interview my neighbor had with Rensch that the original manuscript was like three times as long as the end result. Said end result feels beautifully paced. It does leave you wanting to know more about everyone from the cult leaders to the alcoholic chess teacher to the other co-founders of chess.com to the two players at the center of a cheating scandal. There is never a lack in the cast of characters surrounding Rensch’s life, which makes his upbringing even more heartbreaking considering he spent so much of his childhood and adolescence isolated and without any support (outside of that towards his grand Purpose in life of bringing glory to the Church of Immortal Consciousness via earthly chess approbation).

In addition.. there was a story embedded in the story that surprised me and that affects us all profoundly.

Chess.com was founded in 2007, and this book was written in 2025. When I started the book, I thought, 20 years? I can’t believe Rensch is writing this book after such a short time at chess.com, in the grand scheme of things.

But the meteoric rise of technology and the internet in the 20-year span from 2005-2025 is critical to this .com story. This book starkly lays out how insanely much has changed in these past two decades. We went from not being able to play live internet chess games because the connections were too slow to being able to live-stream and facetime from every nook and corner of terra firma. In two short decades. It is actually bonkers when you think about how it’s transformed everything about our lives. We talk often about species not being able to adapt quickly enough to climate change. I’d argue humans have not, in some ways, been able to adapt quickly enough to the rise of disconnected connectivity. Anywho, that’s a topic for a different forum.

Ultimately, this is a story about a boy who overcame a million odds to take control of his life and bring positive change to the world despite a childhood of neglect and hardship. It makes me sad for all the kids we are failing every day, but hopeful in resilience, in true community, and in love.

Rensch’s interview with my neighbor:
https://www.chess.com/article/view/da...

[Mona · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a lot of respect for the author’s journey. He does not attempt to make himself look ideal in this memoir. He lays bare the many ways in which he behaved badly by perpetuating the misogyny in his cult. He’s honest about his struggles with addiction and arrogance, and that’s admirable too, but he shows no awareness about the experiences of anyone else in the cult, including his wife! She pops in and out of the book as a supporting character, who mostly gets mistreated by him, but her life raising their four kids is otherwise a mystery. He seems confused as to why other survivors of the cult have anger and never acknowledges the incredible advantages he had, despite his awful setting.

It’s very unusual to read a cult survivor story where there is so little information provided about the overall quality of life for most members. I've read a lot of cult memoirs. At one point, Rensch says explicitly that he (and one other kid) was under more stress than any other member because of the chess playing. He later, offhandedly, mentions that teenage girls were being forced to marry middle aged men. He also references other kids who were forced to study different pursuits, like classical ballet. The author's own father married a teenager in the cult! Despite this, he doesn't mention misogyny until he realizes, many years into his marriage, that he’s abusive to his wife and mother. Even when he does acknowledge his own arrogance and sexism (as a result of being raised as a prodigy and "chess savior" in a misogynistic cult) he continues to write about himself in nearly mythic proportions. It almost feels like he was in the cult by himself! I found myself having so many questions about all these other members, as well as broader context about the culture of the cult. He also makes a lot of lofty declarations which are not as universal as he thinks.

This would be a stronger book if Rensch had given himself more time to process his experiences, heal, and deconstruct. The deconstruction process is not covered in much detail. In fact, it’s a little hard to tell when Rensch finally leaves the cult for good and when/if he actually stops believing the tenants of the cult. There is a scene where he shouts that he won’t give the cult any more money, and we know that takes place in 2020, but the reader is left wondering about the rest of the details. Rensch has a habit of using dramatic shouting scenes in lieu of going a little emotionally deeper.

The last time I remember feeling this way was when I read Educated by Tara Westover. It gives me the feeling that there’s a story there, for sure, but it’s not cooked yet. Sometimes more distance is needed. As a reader, it’s obvious that Rensch is within his comfort zone when writing specifically about chess gameplay, strategy, and training. I wish the entire book had been focused purely on his role as a founder at chess.com, and that he had waited another 5-10 years to write his cult memoir. The cheating part at the end of the book was so tacked on. I imagine the cheating scandal alone could have been an interesting book.

I’m not sorry I read Dark Squares. I learned a lot about the economy of professional chess, how AI and machine learning have impacted gameplay, corporate competition between online chess sites, and how the game has evolved over time. Rensch’s wild passion for the game of chess is positively palpable and more than a little contagious!

[Koby Karp · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book up to pre-read it before my twelve-year-old, who is totally obsessed by chess, got hold of it. I expected a niche chess biography. Instead, I got three gripping books in one and I could never say which one I liked best.

The childhood parts are the "most" disturbing features that stay with the reader for a longtime. The chapters with Igor were particularly memorable. I come from a Russian background myself and I had no problem in seeing this brilliant, alcoholic, manic adult who could sometimes be incredibly generous with Danny (perhaps due to seeing himself in the boy) and emotionally distant at other times, carrying his own emotional baggage and incapable of giving or receiving love properly. There was no exaggeration in those scenes.

Danny’s chess career is the stuff of fiction: a barely teenager who flew alone all over the U.S. and later internationally, who slept in the homes of strangers and chased down tournaments. It’s wild and slightly surreal that this is just… how his life actually unfolded.

Then there’s the chapters that talk about Danny's adult life, becoming early on involved with Chess.com when it was just a startup - when it was a niche social network for chess players that came to be the global chess infrastructure we all know today. I therefore appreciated that particular aspect on another level, being a developer who is developing a chess game.

I hesitated to let my kid read it without any censorship. Now I’m like - honestly? Screw it. Anyone already obsessed with chess will probably devour it. And anyone who is only interested in a good story will too.

One thing the book makes clear: chess is not just elegant. It is dark. It’s chaotic. You see legends like inspirational Garry Kasparov who is able to motivate millions to go into Chess and then put down opponents (who were sometimes children) demonstrating just how vulnerable even geniuses are.

That’s why the title works.

The dark squares aren’t just on the board.

[Brian Kramp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Six out of five stars. This is one of the best and most amazing books I have ever read. It’s filled with the deceit of cult life, the rising fame of a chess prodigy, the heartbreak of broken families and their eventual reconciliation, and turning his life into a successful career and online Chess platform.

There is crazy upon crazy upon crazy in his youth. It makes the book Educated look tame by comparison. I don’t want to give any spoilers here, but the story of his grandmother, his mother, and his father are just amazingly unbelievable. And then with all that going on, he wins championships, but they’re literally asides in this crazy story of his life.

I love how the book interweaves the history of chess with his biography. The writing is just incredibly good. I don’t usually love reading about train wrecks, but somehow this had an air of overcoming and inspiration throughout that I loved.

He summed it up at the end very thoughtfully including these 3 quotes:

“The hot stone of anger hurts the person holding onto it more than the person it’s thrown at one thing I’ve learned in therapy is that what makes a thing hurtful or traumatic is not the thing in itself. It’s the story we tell ourselves about it.”

“Since I wouldn’t change the ending of my story, I can’t change the beginning or the middle.”

“I don’t believe in the word unfair. It’s not an empowering word. It’s a word you only use if there’s still some lingering hurt in you, if your wounds haven’t fully healed. It’s a word that implies that we’re entitled to something we didn’t get, that were owed something by the universe. But none of us is owed anything by the universe.”

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Possibly one of my best reads for the year. Danny Rensch, a master chess player and executive at Chess.com, recounts his life experiences growing up in a cult. Danny wasn't just a child on the fringes, though--he was front and center, the Collective (as it was called) taking advantage of his chess prestige. Everyone in the Collective gave their money back to the church, and no one had real property. Danny was shuttled between his parents and leaders in the church, eventually disowning his mother for more than ten years before reconciling with her. He fought addiction, disabling ear problems, and obsessive thinking while struggling to support his wife and family. Danny's story is redemptive, yet as he describes, he still has much to learn. He also recounts stories of the current cheating scandals in chess and how Chess.com rose meteorically during the pandemic. It is absolutely fascinating, and the way Rensch tells the story, it sounds like he's talking right to you. A triumphant and affecting memoir.

[Jordan Osborne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into this book completely blind and assumed I’d be learning about the pivots and evolution to get chess.com where it is today and maybe learn a thing or two about the game of chess along the way. Completely blindsided by Danny’s journey growing up in a toxic cult where the leader put the world on Danny’s shoulders through telling him his life’s purpose was to become an international chess master. Through the ins and outs of learning of the rise of the cult, you get tidbits of chess history and really see Danny’s personal life experience affect his chess game and ratings. At one point the cult forces his mom and Danny apart in order for his chess game to thrive and as a mom, this section of the story was so hard to read. I really felt so heartbroken for Deb and the hell she must have lived through being in close proximity to her son but being told she was no longer his mom by the cult leader. This is one of those memoirs that I will reflect on for months. Beautifully written and such a vulnerable journey that Danny shared.

[Lindsey Hoobler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Danny was raised in a cult that controlled every aspect of his life. Eventually, the cult leader learned that young Danny was exceptionally good at chess. Chess became his Purpose, and he was expected to pour his whole life into chess as his success on the chess board brought more legitimacy to the cult. He also had dreams of making chess more mainstream and accessible, and he eventually became the co-founder of chess.com. This memoir also includes some information about the history of chess, how online chess got its start, and how chess became what it is today.

Ricky gave me this book as a Christmas gift, saying it was probably the only chess book he could get me to read since it is also a cult memoir. He was correct; I’m not very into chess, but I do love a good memoir and escape-from-a-cult story. I also enjoyed learning about the chess world and it did grow in me a greater appreciation for this hobby my husband loves.

[Luke Gohmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story of abuse, agony, resilience, and acceptance. Danny Rensch became America’s top junior chess player despite growing up in a cult and being forcibly estranged from his mother as a child to live with an alcoholic Russian chess master to train nonstop.

At the precipice of becoming a top professional player, the unsustainable mental effects from his cult upbringing, coupled with life-long untreated ear conditions brought his chess career to a deafening stop, and left him broke, disabled, and with a failing marriage. How Danny went from this to building the most important chess infrastructure in the world in chess.com and arguably becoming the most important shepherd and arbiter of this thousands year game is detailed in Dark Squares. For both chess fans and those indifferent alike.

[Kaci Kennedy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was one of those memoirs like Shoe Dog, The Sixth Man and The Storyteller where ai knew nothing at all about the author, but I enjoyed it like those others. It’s a niche subject but you learn so much about his life. I would recommend if you like memoirs like that.

[Jennica Van Blerkom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dark Squares tells the story of Danny, a chess prodigy whose talent develops alongside an unimaginably difficult childhood in a religious cult in Arizona. His story is courageous, heartbreaking, and shocking.

This book is not really about chess. It is about resilience, identity, and what it takes to survive and rebuild a life. Danny’s story is honest and refreshingly positive.

I also had the opportunity to meet Danny and his wife and ask him them questions. They are incredibly grounded, humble, down to earth, and genuinely cool people. Knowing who they are today adds even more depth and meaning to the story.

I have immense respect for both of them and would recommend this book without hesitation. Ten out of ten

[Natasha Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dark Squares is such a powerful memoir. I hosted it for my book club, and it turned into a really memorable night. I always love discussing memoirs / non fiction and this book led to such a meaningful conversation. While most of us can’t begin to compare our experiences to what Danny endured growing up, he does an incredible job making sharing his story that really draws you in. What stood out most was his perspective on healing, and how choosing forgiveness doesn’t erase the past, but creates space to move forward. His insights stayed with all of us long after the night ended. Also, loved all the Chess insight and stories about Chess.com.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read in a long time. Building chess.com while living in a cult was not on my bingo card.

[Will Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. I obviously knew Danny Rensch as the face of chess.com but had no idea about his backstory. Reading about his life and insights on overcoming the trauma and hardships he endured being born into a cult was fascinating.

[Klara Marsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rare non fiction book for me, but I was still captivated the whole time.

[Jennifer Shahade · Rating 5 out of 5]

In chess, you have to fight back from tough positions, and in this book, chess champion Danny Rensch shows us how he did the same in real life. This is a beautifully crafted and well written memoir that reminds the reader to lead with kindness and integrity, because we rarely know the full story of what someone else is going through. Case in point: I have known Danny in real life for decades but knew very little of him growing up in a cult, and his health struggles. I also think this book will be inspiring for people who are looking for a career breakthrough, or a career change, as alongside Danny's childhood story, it chronicles how he co-founded chess dot com, a billion dollar company, and the determination, work ethic and twists and turns along the way.

[Jodie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who doesn’t know much about chess, I absolutely tore through this book on my 5+ hour flight. To be fair, I do live with a pretty big chess fan and online chess player, so I learned about this book through him… but I really did enjoy reading about Danny Rensch’s story. From growing up in a cult and being a chess prodigy, his vulnerability and transparency on his personal life was admirable and remarkable. I also really enjoyed the tidbits of chess facts and history threaded throughout his memoir. Honestly, a really great and memorable memoir.


+ Huge thanks to NetGalley & the Publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Moving Memoir About Chess, Recovery, and Second Chances

In Dark Squares: How Chess Saved My Life, Danny Rensch offers a candid and deeply personal story about addiction, identity, and the unexpected ways a game can reshape a life. While the title suggests a book about chess strategy, what Rensch actually delivers is something more intimate: a memoir about falling apart and slowly rebuilding.

Rensch traces his journey from a young chess prodigy immersed in tournament culture to a young adult struggling with addiction and instability. The metaphor of the “dark squares” on the chessboard becomes a powerful symbol for the darker chapters of his life—moments of shame, poor decisions, and loss of direction. What makes the book resonate is the author’s willingness to be honest about those failures without trying to smooth them over.

For readers who know Rensch as the energetic voice behind Chess.com broadcasts and commentary, the memoir reveals a much deeper backstory. Chess emerges not just as a hobby or career but as a stabilizing force: a discipline that rewards patience, foresight, and emotional control—qualities that become essential to his recovery.

The book isn’t heavy on technical chess analysis, and readers expecting detailed game breakdowns may find that surprising. Instead, Rensch focuses on the human side of the game—the community, mentorship, and mindset that chess fosters. In many ways, the board itself becomes a metaphor for life: every position complicated, every move carrying consequences.

Dark Squares ultimately works because it feels sincere. It’s less about triumph than about resilience, and less about mastery than about learning to navigate difficult positions—both on the board and off it.

Rating: 3/5

[Bruce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Brilliant!

The best book I’ve read all year, possibly in the last 5 years. Honest, vulnerable, infuriating, and heartbreaking all at the same time.

I’ve been playing chess since I was a kid, starting with the chess program I retyped hex code by hex code out of a magazine into my Apple IIc, until modern day where I’ve been a paid Chess.com subscriber since Feb. 2012. Oddly enough, Danny Rensch has always been my favorite “personality” there. I’m certain that although I could have played chess anywhere, paying to stay at Chess.com has arguably been because of Danny and his larger than life sense of humor and casual “dude” way of presenting.

I loved Danny’s plain language here, he writes like he talks, and I love how he talks. “Bunch of homeless dudes “, “mangy kids “, “But the truth was simpler: we were in a cult.” There were so many Danny-isms in this book and I’m glad the editors didn’t butcher things too much.

It’s not even believable that the same man I see online is the same kid in this book. Heart wrenching at times, glorious at others, it felt as if I were physically inside the world this book from beginning to end. The scene of you “breaking up” with your Mom was so real, it felt like I was there witnessing it in person. Trina setting you up to meet with your mom, leading to a seven year silence between the two of you, heart wrenching.

Losing your mom like that was gut wrenching. As brief as it was, I’m so glad you were able to reconcile.

Danny you’ve turned into something amazing. And you wrote an amazing book. If I could provide one criticism, you mentioned Hans way too many times lol.

[Jieping · Rating 4 out of 5]

Danny Rensch’s memoir looks at first like a book about chess, but that’s only partly true. Very quickly it becomes a story about a cult and the emotional collateral that comes with escaping it. For me, Danny’s cult journey was far more impactful than the story of how Chess.com was built.

The Chess.com parts focus mostly on user growth rather than the founding itself. They’re fun and interesting, but also a bit light on detail, and they are completely overshadowed by Danny’s break with the Collective and with his mother.

What surprised me is that this is not really a “how I learned chess” book at all. Even the most “chess-like” parts are not about tactics or openings, but about a coach, endless trips to tournaments, and the kind of quiet loneliness that comes with that life.

The chapter about Igor Ivanov is especially touching. It shows how a relationship formed on the edge of one’s life can stay bright for years afterward. Those pages feel small and quiet, but they linger.

Underneath everything, the mother–son relationship is the real thread running through the book. It appears in almost every corner of Danny’s life. It is both the question and the answer, and it feels like the key that unlocks his whole story.

By contrast, Danny’s father, Steven, comes across as almost painfully absent. The fact that Danny remembers only a single sentence from him says a lot. That one moment is treated as precious simply because there is nothing else, and that makes it feel more tragic than tender.

Finally, the section on Hans Niemann is genuinely fascinating. Seeing the whole saga from Danny’s angle pushed my opinion on the controversy in a new direction.

I would recommend this memoir even if you don’t care about chess or about cults. It’s really a book about loyalty, control, and the complicated love between a child and a parent.

[Brooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was a high school drop out, with two kids and a marriage that was already falling apart, and the money I made teaching chess to local kids in Phoenix was barely enough keep food on the table. If there was any upside to my dream of making a comeback, it's that it had helped me become sober-ish. I'd ween myself off the Vicodin and Percocet, more on that in a moment, and it was just the pack a day habit of Marlboro reds that I was using to quell my anxiety during the day, plus the drinking at night, which I told myself I was keeping reasonably in check.

Any fan of chess these days will probably be shocked (as I was) that Rensch, the internet's chess dad, turned out to have the crazy cult upbringing he did.

Super personal writing, and Rensch deserves a wealth of credit for making few excuses about his past mistakes, all delivered in really solid narration himself if listening to the audiobook.

Having read the description of the book prior, I was surprised not to find the typical story of "I figured out this cult was BS and escaped" and instead get a more nuanced tale of finding morsels of emotional value in the hostility of abusive relationships and being unable to cut and run.

The biggest weakness of this book is that the Niemann cheating scandal feels like a tacked on extra book; I loved the information (and it makes a great case for chess.com's reasoning and professionalism) but it just didn't feel that connected to the themes of the rest of the book.

This might just be the only time in history that chess ultimately benefited someone's mental health.

[Lady G Hut · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes I’m biased, and no, I do not care.
I loved the story of Danny’s struggles and how his story shaped him. No matter the origins of his cult he was able to find his own love in it. No matter what he thought his purpose was Danny found his own meaning of life that he hadn’t known he would. It truly is a beautiful tell of life and I do not regret a moment of reading it. As a person who is vaguely familiar with chess with only the knowledge of how the pieces work, Danny did an amazing job of bringing the reader not only though his upbringing in the cult, familial relations, and his passion for chess and the grit he had in realizing his dreams. I will part with my fav quote I loved near the end of the book. (I will not lie, the epilogue made me tear up)

“the hot stone of anger hurts the person holding on to it more than the person its thrown at.”(348)

It’s a reimagined version of a Buddhist saying along the same lines except you replace the ‘stone’ with ‘coal’

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

I feel this couldn’t be more true, and for Danny harping on himself for much of the book for his faults I truly am amazed by his forgiveness and ability to move on, as well as acknowledging that his mental scars had shaped him. If has If there ever were a prototype for showing humans can change, it would be Danny.