End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits

by Beatriz Victoria Albina

Do you say 'yes' when you mean 'no'? Do you end up in lopsided relationships, feeling resentful but not sure how to speak up? Do you feel disconnected from your emotions and your body - like you're living from the neck up? Do you feel anxious, struggle with perfectionism, decision making, and imposter syndrome, or feel like you've lost touch with your true self? You're not alone. Thousands of people, especially those of us socialized as women, struggle with Emotional Outsourcing - a term nurse practitioner and life coach Beatriz Victoria
Albina coined to describe the codependent, people-pleasing, perfectionist habits that keep us stuck.

In End Emotional Outsourcing, Albina explores the origins - both personal and systemic - of these codependent habits and repairs harmful behaviours through a nervous-system-focused, science-backed-programme of thought work and somatic practises.

-Regulate their nervous systems
-Reframe their habitual thoughts and actions
-Take back their time and energy
-Improve relationships with parents, friends, partners and themselves
-Discover their inherent self-worth and lovability

Groundbreaking, healing and urgent, End Emotional Outsourcing is poised to change the conversation about codependency and help an entire generation of women step into their power.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Relationships, Personal Development

336 pages, Hardcover

Published September 30, 2025

About the author

Beatriz (Béa) Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP (she/her) is a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, author of the forthcoming "End Emotional Outsourcing: a Guide to Overcoming Codependent, Perfectionist and People Pleasing Habits" (Sept 30, Hachette Balance) and Breathwork Meditation Guide with a passion for helping humans socialized as women to reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems and rewire their minds, so they can break free from codependency, perfectionism and people pleasing and reclaim their joy.

She is the host of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, holds a Masters degree in Public Health from Boston University School of Public Health and a BA in Latin American Studies from Oberlin College.

Born in Mar del Plata, Argentina, Béa grew up in the great state of Rhode Island. She has been working in health & wellness for over 20 years and lives with her wife, Billey Albina and their handsome all-black cat Wade.

📖 Read or listen to the first chapter of End Emotional Outsourcing

📲 Follow Béa on Instagram

🎧 Listen to the Feminist Wellness podcast

🎁 Download free Boundaries, Inner Child, Body Scan Meditations, Nervous System Exercises and more!

💫 Work with Béa

Reviews

[Eve · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disclosure: I received an advance review copy of End Emotional Outsourcing from Grand Central Publishing | Balance via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

End Emotional Outsourcing explores how codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing habits undermine self-worth, and offers tools for nervous system regulation, boundary-setting, and healthier relationships. As a woman, I found the premise resonant, and I appreciated the attempt to blend somatic practices with self-reflection.

However, the execution was not a good fit for me. The author’s style is overly conversational and self-congratulatory, with a heavy use of diminutives such as “buttercups” and “my love.” I recognize that I have a personal aversion to this style, as in my own experience people who use these kinds of terms often come across as disingenuous. Still, I found the language distracting and it lessened the impact of the message. The strong emphasis on the author’s personal brand and life-coach persona also made the book feel more like marketing than substance. It also struck me as telling that she trademarked the term “emotional outsourcing,” which reinforced the sense that this was more about branding than offering new or rigorous insight. While some practical skills were useful, the overall approach lacked depth or research and read more like popular psychology, similar in tone and credibility to Malcolm Gladwell or Girl, Stop Apologizing, than an evidence-based resource.

For readers who prefer accessible, feelings-driven self-help, this book will likely resonate. For those seeking more academic or clinically grounded insight, it may feel forgettable despite its valuable premise. Three stars rather than two only because I realize I'm just not the audience for this book.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

End Emotional Outsourcing is a powerful and profoundly validating book. It offers not just a new way to understand patterns like people-pleasing, perfectionism, and chronic self-doubt, but a deeply compassionate lens through which to see yourself, especially if you've spent a lifetime trying to earn love, safety, and belonging by being who others needed you to be.

I truly loved this book. It felt like being gently walked home to myself. Beatriz Albina’s writing is smart, clear, and warm, and the science she weaves throughout, from polyvagal theory to attachment research to neuroplasticity, gave me both language and tools to understand why I’ve done what I’ve done for so long and how I can begin to do something different.

What stood out to me most is how the book doesn’t pathologize survival strategies like emotional outsourcing. Instead, it helps you understand them as intelligent responses to unmet needs and relational wounding, and it does so without shame, which is such a gift. The way she describes how safety, worth, and belonging get wired in the nervous system felt incredibly resonant for me. I saw myself in nearly every page.

It doesn’t sugarcoat the difficulty of this work. Reclaiming internal safety and self-trust is not easy, especially when we’ve been taught that our value is tied to our performance or how well we take care of others. But Beatriz gives you a tender, science-rooted map for the process, along with somatic practices and reflection prompts that make the work feel accessible, doable, and even hopeful.

If you’ve ever felt like you disappear in relationships, like you constantly abandon your own needs to care for everyone else, or like your worth is something you have to hustle for, this book will feel like a lifeline. It won’t “fix” you in one reading, but it will help you understand yourself with more clarity and care. It gives you the language, insight, and somatic scaffolding to begin re-patterning how you inhabit your own life.

For me, it wasn’t just helpful. It was transformative. It reminded me that my needs matter, that I’m allowed to belong to myself, and that healing is possible one small, compassionate step at a time.

[Julia Serna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to read an advance copy of End Emotional Outsourcing, and from the very first chapter I felt like beatriz was describing my life with uncanny accuracy. The endless yeses I’ve given when I meant no, the way I’ve built my days around keeping the peace, the constant sense that my value came from how useful I was to everyone else - it was all there on the page but didn't make me feel bad about it like other books in this genre.

What surprised me most was how compassionate this book feels. Beatriz explains the science of the nervous system in a way that’s clear and digestible, but never clinical or cold. She shows how these habits take root in the body as survival strategies, not flaws, which felt like a really new take and she offers practices that feel realistic for actual human lives (Im a mother of 3 working FT and I could easily incorporate the suggestions and do the journaling). Nothing about it felt overwhelming or prescriptive -- it felt like being walked through a process of remembering myself.

There were moments I had to put the book down because the recognition was so sharp. And then there were moments of real hope, where I could see a way forward that didn’t involve contorting myself just to be loved. Since finishing it, I’ve caught myself pausing before the automatic “sure, no problem” slips out of my mouth. I’m asking, quietly, what I need. That alone feels revolutionary.

End Emotional Outsourcing is the book I wish I had twenty years ago. I’ll be recommending it to every woman I know who has ever felt exhausted by caretaking, by smoothing things over, by constantly wondering if she’s enough.

[Sara Bybee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally, a book that explains why I know my coworker's coffee order by heart but forgot to eat lunch again. Béa doesn't just call out my emotional outsourcing, she helps me actually understand it and she gives me actual tools to stop being everyone's unpaid life coach while my own life falls apart. 10/10, would recommend to every woman who's ever said 'I'm fine' while internally screaming.

[Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Actually. I’ve read a lot of books, done a lot of courses, gone to a lot of therapy… and THIS BOOK is what I wish someone could have handed me at the start. This is the book I will hand to everyone I know who I think could benefit from this kind of work (so literally everyone?!). The author uses language that feels comforting and loving, while getting the point across clearly and in a way that actually sticks. Just read it 💓

[Anna potter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book as a (former?) people-pleaser. Super insightful and great information for resetting a disregulated nervous system!

[KRISTA ST · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ah, finally! This book made so many things make sense! Albina has the ability to make complex human behavior easy to understand while providing practical tools that anyone can use in a way that doesn't feel shamey or overly clinical. I'm glad she wrote this book and I wish I'd had it 20 years ago. I will be giving it to my 21 year old daughter ASAP.

[Ana Micka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for writing this book. It shed light on on how often I’ve put others’ needs ahead of my own—and gave me the tools to stop abandoning myself in the process. Highly recommended as a guide to live from a place of self-trust and to actually find joy.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

END EMOTIONAL OUTSOURCING: HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR CODEPENDENT, PERFECTIONIST,
PEOPLE-PLEASING HABITS.
BY: BEATRIZ VICTORIA ALBINA

This is really an extraordinary, and remarkably well written book that has so very much more to offer beyond Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing behaviors or habits for which it does address those habits or behaviors for so many reasons. The Author, has her own podcast that I haven't listened to yet, but plan on it. This is written mostly towards a female audience even though it could be helpful to males because of the helpful, and unique way that it addresses certainly those behaviors of why they are so harmful. Not just psychologically, for many reasons of which whether done consciously, or subconsciously because there's a multitude of how many ways it can negatively impact both you, and your relationships. What was eye opening to me, is how these patterns can also adversely affect your body, which stores traumatic events and memories. this book addresses through a heavy emphasis that she starts by science backed facts that are simplified by first explaining your nervous system that most of us are familiar with. Just in case you're not, the more familiar scientific model is used that are most commonly used by which she defines. What made this more interesting is a newer approach that I read earlier in the year, that is a newer theory that is less known, which has been a theory written that has its supporters, and is so new my own doctor hadn't heard of it. That it's not the approach that Western Medicine uses, but this Author admits that it has aspects that she doesn't wholly agree with, but she uses the parts of this theory in most of her references to the nervous system. That has made me want to reread the book by the Doctor who developed this theory, since I remembered how easily the doctor who explains his theory, and to be honest, I didn't give it the attention it deserved, but since it was written with the same compassion and easily explained like this was it definitely deserves my attention. Since this author uses the parts of it that she shifts to explain the nervous system that she does believe for most of this, which I will return to this as often as I need to, since I loved this so much I read it twice. This is one that is more comprehensive in how wide ranging it covers many familiar, common practices that we've all heard of. In how this book differs is she takes well known practices, and gives easy to follow scripted ways that resonated with me more. Most of all, she is most appreciated by me, for giving me in never before ideas how to start to actually do things as a starting point in how I could do things that I've never known about for years with first steps of how to take action, Instead of just telling me the same thing needed to be done which is different since most authors never explain how to begin which this author does. I would have done these things, but didn't know how, or I would have done them years ago. I loved the second part of this book the best because it gives you step by step, instructions how to fix your nervous system to return it out of a Stuck in Freeze position to return to a healthier response when I get triggered by things that I need to heal. She also gives you step by step, several different ways to start to take care of your inner children ( and everyone has them) and believe it or not they are the ones running the show when we react adversely on a subconscious level that spill out in one way or another, That's why we need to be kind to them and the best way to build self trust and get in touch with them is to look at a photo of ourselves at our youngest age. That's also a way to start our self love and silence our inner critic, that is not even our own negative self talk. it's our subconscious beliefs that originated by our family, or anybody else that said mean things when we were still developing, this inner critic's words is not true, but false beliefs that we need to stop doing. We never are going to feel that we're enough, exactly how we are if we don't challenge those negative false beliefs, and it never helps to treat ourselves meanly when we make mistakes. The only way to stop this outsourcing is to always show ourselves compassion just like we show others. That is something I struggled with.
I loved how she said the first step in showing ourselves compassion when we make mistakes is to say to ourselves "Of course I did." That's the first step to showing ourselves Self compassion. I also love how she says that we can also help ourselves by in our minds think of a loved one that we always felt unconditionally loved which for me was my grandmother, even though she passed many years ago. For you it can be anything that you imagine that brings you joy. Finally, I love all the ways she included attention towards healing trauma in our bodies where left unprocessed the trauma lives as memories. The trauma doesn't always have to be something that happened, since it can also be something that should have happened but didn't. Also be the cake, even though we all love an extra serving of chocolate buttercream frosting, let that represent other peoples affirmations, always think of yourself as the cake. This book is filled with so much more that for purposes of this review I only want to add that this author is very tender, and calls you pet names, all throughout the entire book, and she has a great education but she is a nurse practitioner and throughout the entire book treats you kindly in a very loving, conversational voice that she has always treated you with so much understanding. This is one of the best noon fiction, self development books, that as I said I read it twice since it's so effective, and one that I'll return to often. For now it really sunk in. She talks about the repetition compulsion which I was already familiar with since I have a background in psychology. I think that this book really gives you a toolbox in Part 2, which as I said was my favorite part. It really is longer but that's because it covers so much with a heavy emphasis on the nervous system, and the body, which makes it unique. It could be so helpful for everyone, and is the most memorable. I highly, highly recommend this book for everybody. A huge thank you to this author.

Publication Date; September 30, 2025

Thank you to Net Galley, Beatriz Victoria Albina, and Grand Central Publishing, for generously providing me with my spectacular ARC, in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own, as always..

#EndEmotionalOutsourcing #BeatrizVictoriaAlbina #GrandCentralPublishing #NetGalley

[Lorelei Tomlinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had a lot of interesting and useful information. It discusses analyzing what you are doing, why you are doing it, what you want to change and how to change it. It provides some ideas on how you can unlearn habits that you acquired in childhood.

The only negative criticism that I have is that in the pre-final edit advance reader version is that the author keeps addressing the reader using terms such as "my kitten", "my little hummingbird", "my turtledove", "my dazzling brave blueberry", "my nerdling", "perfect little olive leaf", "my brave bean", "perfect marigold", "peppermint patty", etc. I found the use of these terms irritating. I would have preferred if the author addressed the reader as "you". I am a complete stranger to the author so I didn't feel that the use of many of these terms along with terms of endearment such as "my love", "lovebug" etc. was appropriate. Overall, the book did have good technical content so I rated it a 4 out of 5 stars.

I received a free advance reader version of the book. The opinion that I am expressing is my own.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve had the good fortune of listening to the Feminist Wellness podcast, then you already have a sense of Beatriz Albina’s unique ability to drop deep scientific and medical knowledge with accessible language, practical applications, and a delightfully invitational tone. If you haven’t, then 1) definitely go have a listen and 2) you’ll get the same experience from the book, finding yourself feeling smarter, more grounded, and with an increased sense of agency over your own life.

Having walked the path herself, Ms. Albina is no stranger to codependency and openly shares her own experience, as well as insights from the thousands of hours she has spent working with clients. Combined with her unique background as a healthcare professional, coach, and somatic practitioner, End Emotional Outsourcing takes a multilayered approach to teach you everything you need to reclaim your life. This is an evidenced-based, hands-on, eye-opening, life-changing book.

Whether you consider yourself codependent or not, anyone socialized as a woman will get something out of this book—from the moment we are born the systems we grow up in shape us to feel that we are not enough just as we are. Messages so consistent they become the air we breathe, infiltrating our bodies in so many small and hidden ways. With Beatriz’s guidance, you will learn ways to identify how these narratives live inside you (not just in your head, but in your body too), and to release them so you can live more authentically, fully, and magically.

This isn’t the kind of book you read once and put on your shelf. Instead, think of this book as a trusted friend, one who is willing to tell you what you need to hear with kindness and compassion. Who you can turn to in challenging moments and find support and comfort, who is down to be with you every step of the way—whether you need a tool, an encouraging word, witnessing, or a warm cup of tea.

[Susan Klunder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have spent my entire adult life trying to solve my people-pleasing and perfectionist tendencies. I've tried everything: talk therapy, EMDR, mindfulness retreats, yoga, tapping, positive affirmations, psychotherapy, and meditation, but nothing ever truly stuck. Then I found Beatriz Victoria Albina's work and purchased her book "End Emotional Outsourcing". It was the answer I had been desperately searching for. Albina brilliantly explains "emotional outsourcing" as the habit of depending on others' validation for our self-worth. Seeing my patterns described so clearly was a lightbulb moment that clicked in a way nothing else ever had.

Where countless other methods failed, this book provides a compassionate, actionable roadmap that actually works. The tone is incredibly supportive, and the practical, somatic and body-based exercises have made all the difference from moving from my head into my body and being. If you're exhausted from managing everyone's feelings or tying your self-worth to your achievements, this book is for you. I can honestly say I am a truly changed person because of this work. It teaches you how to build a solid internal foundation, allowing you to engage with the world from a place of authentic strength, feeling grounded in your own body and being through its somatic practices. I cannot recommend it enough and it is truly life-changing!

[Jenn Baron · Rating 5 out of 5]

End Emotional Outsourcing by Beatriz Victoria Albina should be required reading by everyone socialized as woman!

It’s the manual to our brains, bodies, and nervous systems need ,that no one gets but will absolutely benefit from!

I had the honor and pleasure of being in Bea’s 6-month program, Anchored, and it changed my life.

So when I heard that she was writing a book, I could not wait for it to be out in the world.

See Bea has a gentle and compassionate way of clearly explaining what’s going on in our brains and bodies so you do not feel broken or alone anymore.

And if that’s not enough awesomeness, she gives you doable, approachable tools that can easily become little moments of healing and transformation for your nervous system and therefor life.

And those little moments add up to a changed and better way of moving through the world because you learn to ride the inevitable waves of life instead of getting tossed around be every one.

Do yourself a solid, and buy this book.

Then take your time with it, but start practicing Bea’s suggestions because they work!

I’m really grateful for everything she puts into the world because it’s not just “positive vibes only,” they actually move the needle.

[Aimee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never had a book resonate with me the way End Emotional Outsourcing™ did. From the very first chapter to the last page, I felt seen, understood, and heard in a way that no other thought framework has ever accomplished before.

As a Positive Intelligence® practitioner, I found this book to be a beautiful continuation of that foundation - taking the awareness of the mind and bringing it into the body, into the lived female experience of care, boundaries, and belonging. End Emotional Outsourcing™ offered me the “female translation” of the mindfulness journey - one that names the emotional labor, the conditioning, and the nervous-system survival patterns that so many of us carry.

Beatriz Victoria Albina’s writing is compassionate, wise, and scientifically grounded. She doesn’t just explain why we outsource our worth - she gently guides us home to ourselves. I bookmarked nearly every page and finished feeling more whole, more grounded, and more seen. This book is a mirror, a map, and a reclamation.

If you’ve ever found yourself over-functioning, people-pleasing, or struggling to feel “enough,” this book will meet you exactly where you are and show you how to come back to yourself.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

End Emotional Outsourcing is exactly the book I’ve been waiting for. It is a clear, compassionate, and practical guide for those of us who struggle with people-pleasing, perfectionism, or codependent habits. Beatrice Victoria Albina’s no-nonsense yet deeply nurturing approach blends thought work with somatic practices, making the tools both science-based and body-centered. I loved listening to the audiobook in her own voice, and the print version is full of easy-to-find prompts, exercises, and resources (plus links to bonus downloadable worksheets!). As a longtime fan of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, I appreciate how this book compiles her best insights into a single, accessible resource. It’s already helping me personally, and as a licensed professional counselor, I’ll recommend it to my clients as well.

Albina ends the book with her signature message—“You are safe, you are held, you are loved. And when one of us heals, we help heal the world.” This perfectly captures the heart of her work. Truly a must-read for anyone ready to stop self-abandoning and reclaim their wholeness.

[Carolina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hit me hard in the best way. End Emotional Outsourcing put words to patterns I’ve lived my whole life without really naming: the constant people-pleasing, the need to be perfect so I’d be “enough,” the way I bent myself into knots trying to keep everyone else happy while feeling totally disconnected from myself. This is the book I’ve been needing - help without the blamw

What makes this book so powerful is that she explains these habits not as flaws or personality defects, but as nervous system survival strategies - ways our bodies and brains learned to keep us safe. That reframe alone felt like such a relief. The mix of science, somatic tools, and a feminist perspective makes the book both validating and incredibly practical.

I finished it feeling hopeful and with a clear sense of how to start shifting from living for other people’s approval to actually trusting myself. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve lost yourself in relationships, at work, or in family dynamics, you need this book.

[Chris PS Younger Self · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who had the privilege of interviewing Beatriz Victoria Albina on my podcast, I was already familiar with her compassionate, science-backed approach to healing emotional outsourcing. So I was really excited about her book, End Emotional Outsourcing, which expands on her brilliant teachings to readers find their way back to self-trust.

What I love most about her book is how Béa bridges the gap between mindset and the body showing that people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependency aren’t character flaws, but learned survival strategies. Her words feel like both a mirror and a map: a mirror reflecting the quiet ways we self-abandon to feel safe or loved, and a map guiding us back to self-trust.

This isn’t just another self-help book with quick fixes. It’s a deeply insightful framework for anyone ready to reclaim their self-worth, learn how to regulate their nervous system, and finally come home to their authentic themselves.

A must read! I highly recommend Béa’s work and all her thought-provoking content across her platforms.

[Kiernan McCarty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was exactly what I needed in my transition from living with my parents to living on my own as a young adult. Albina provides a wonderful balance of kind and delicate reminders not to treat ourselves as broken and shameful, but also real advice to challenge our pre-conceived notions of ourselves and our relationships with other people, and how the two inform each other.

I took a lot away from this book, namely building a habit of being kinder to myself. Another insight I gained was an understanding that my nervous system is deeply dysregulated, and that's not just a mental health problem that can only be solved with drugs and therapy and internalized shame/guilt, but it's a very real result of our current world circumstances and how my identity was shaped by my relationships and environment. I feel like I gained a lot of valuable self-introspection from Bea Victoria Albina's book and also her Feminist Wellness Podcast.

I'm a big fan of intersectional feminist theory, and I love that she combines this theory with therapy and physical/spiritual health matters.

[Goli Kalkhoran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman needs this book! I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of End Emotional Outsourcing and I didn’t even realize how much I needed it. Every woman has been brought up to abandon herself in some way in order to keep everyone else happy. We might have learned different ways of fulfilling that role but we all learned some version of that survival skill. Beatriz does such a beautiful job of showing us how that has shaped our lives and how to start reclaiming them. The book is easy to digest even with difficult concepts. Beatriz makes it accessible and practical, all wrapped in a loving bow.

This book is such a practical and loving way to understand yourself with compassion while also working on breaking the patterns that have kept so many of us stuck for so long. Whether you’re 20 or 80, this book can help you come back to yourself. What a beautiful gift that is to all of us!

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely life-changing! End Emotional Outsourcing helped me finally understand my feelings and see how being raised to people-please and be a “good” girl really messed me up. For the first time, I truly get what’s happening in my nervous system and how to stay grounded in that calm, safe ventral vagal state.
Bea is pure magic — a gifted teacher who blends heart, humor, and healing with solid science. As a highly educated NP and proud science nerd, she breaks down complex concepts in such an accessible and empowering way. Every page feels like a mix of therapy, neuroscience, and genuine soul care.
Do yourself a life-changing favor and read this book ASAP — and then gift yourself her 6-month course, Anchored. It completely transformed my life, my relationships, my sanity dealing with my parents, and my daily joy. Thank you, Bea, for giving us the tools to truly come home to ourselves!

[Anne Simonis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bea's kind teachings are helping me to be more in tune with my body and nervous system. Slowly I am gaining the courage and skills to take care of myself first, and not prioritize the comfort of others to my detriment. I also am learning how to recognize perfectionist and people-pleasing habits in the people around me. There are so many reasons we have learned to do these things, and I'm trying to give these darlings the space and autonomy they deserve. I appreciate the journal prompts at the end of each chapter as helpful ways to digest and integrate what I'm learning into my life. Reading this book and listening to the Feminist Wellness podcast have been such a BLESSING during the holiday season. I see myself revisiting this over and over again, particularly when I want to support before engaging in potentially triggering activities.

[Anela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book on audio since the author is also the reader. I hadn’t heard of the author until I heard her speak on Terri Cole’s podcast and decided to look into this book. Initially, I was put off by the very conversational tone and constant pet names. I found myself chucking at the part of the book where the author explains why she does this and how a lot of people that engage in patterns consistent with emotional outsourcing may be deeply uncomfortable with directed praise and displays of affection. There were certainly a lot of moments in the book where I felt it resonated with me.

This book is a good overview of origins and manifestations of patterns that the author has coded and trademarked as emotional outsourcing.

I think I will want to read this again to put some of the suggestions into practice, but this first read through was interesting and helpful.

[Eve Efron · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a person who spent a decade plus working in a job where I excelled at putting everybody's needs ahead of my own all while feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and like I didn't even have needs of my own, Beatriz's work has been incredibly helpful for me.

Realizing that I was practicing emotional outsourcing at work, at home, with my friends, with my family, and back in my childhood was huge for me.

Even more impactful were the practices that helped me to gently course correct and take back my energy from focusing on everything and everyone else, and instead prioritize MYSELF and MY NEEDS.

This book was such a valuable support for me, highly recommend to anybody else who spends their time prioritizing other people's needs above their own.

[Jules Netherland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so happy that End Emotional Outsourcing is out in the world. Finally a book that is well researched, funny, practical, and doesn’t leave behind the political analysis. I’ve struggled for years with putting myself last and trying to make everyone happy as a way of trying to earn their approval. These patterns are hard to change. But Albina breaks it down. The first half of the books is a deep dive into how emotional outsourcing works and how our old habits can keep us trapped. In the second half of the book is a hopeful, practical guide on how to move towards a life of interdependence and freedom from the traps of the past. The concrete exercise combined with Albina’s encouraging tone will be a balm for readers looking for deep healing.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really hit home for me. Beatriz Albina has such a kind and down-to-earth way of explaining why so many of us fall into people-pleasing, perfectionism, or codependent habits without even realizing it. Instead of making me feel bad about it, she helped me see those patterns as survival skills I picked up along the way—and then gave me practical tools to start shifting them. I loved how she mixed body-based practices with mindset work, because it made the changes feel doable. It’s not a “quick fix,” but it’s the kind of book that makes you pause, think, and actually want to take better care of yourself. I’ve already recommended it to a couple of friends who struggle with the same things.

[Dan Fisk · Rating 5 out of 5]

My wife recommended this book to me, and I’ll be honest—I wasn’t sure it was going to apply to me. But I picked it up anyway, and I’m really glad I did. Beatriz Albina has a way of describing codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing that made me realize just how much of it shows up in my own life, even in ways I hadn’t recognized. What surprised me most was how practical and doable her suggestions are. Instead of feeling called out or criticized, I actually felt encouraged and equipped to try something different. I didn’t expect to be underlining and bookmarking sections, but here I am. If you want a book that makes you think about your relationships and how you show up in them—this is a great one.

[Andrea Owen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know all too well about the behaviors Beatriz writes about in Emotional Outsourcing. Poor boundaries, perfectionism, people pleasing and more. What I love about her solutions are that they are partly somatic based. We can’t just think our way into healing, we have to involve our bodies. Her methodologies are easy to implement and incredibly helpful whether you’re someone who is brand new to these types of exercises, or even if you have experience.

Her feminist approach is not “heavy handed”, but real and recognizable, as well as validating. Acknowledges that not everyone’s path looks the same, which can be missing in some self-help books.

This is definitely a book. I will recommend a clients and friends. It’s not a quick fix, but it’s a roadmap for coming home to yourself.

[April S · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all - go get it, right now. I wish that my counsellors, psychologists, PSYCHIATRISTS, and other primary health care providers had this knowledge and wisdom. But that's okay - I'm on the path now!

I have the audiobook version, and her passion and kindness really shine through!

I usually really hesitate to listen/read through the self-help books that I buy or borrow - I mean, look... you know something's hurting and you want to stop hurting but you ALSO don't want to kick that rock, right?

But I just really trust Beatriz to help guide me through it all, and the content is so engaging, with the knowledge, research, lived-experience, and intersectionality pieces all brought together - honestly, you're not going to want to put it down.

[Loida · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compassionate, science-based guide to coming home to yourself
End Emotional Outsourcing reframes perfectionism, people-pleasing, and codependency not as flaws but as the body’s intelligent attempts to stay safe. Albina weaves neuroscience, psychology, and feminism with humor and warmth, creating a book that feels both practical and deeply humane. I loved how she explains nervous-system regulation in plain language and offers small, doable steps—“kitten steps”—that actually work in daily life. Her metaphors (“be the cake, not the icing”) stay with you long after you close the book. More than self-help, it’s a feminist reimagining of healing that leaves you feeling understood, steadier, and ready to trust yourself again.

[Larissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will lovingly call you out on all the ways you twist yourself into a pretzel to keep everyone else happy — and then hand you nervous-system tools that actually work to help you overcome your people-pleasing, perfectionist ways.

Béa’s mix of tenderness, science-backed, "nerditry" brilliance, and humor makes you feel seen in the exact spots you thought were broken. Spoiler: you’re not broken. You’re emotionally outsourcing. And this book shows you how to bring it all back home.

Buy it, read it, and casually leave it on your coffee table. Your people-pleasing friends will thank you later.