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The Front Yard War
Jane Carcrashski is getting a divorce. Jane Carcrashski is looking for a new career. Jane Carcrashski is getting good at hiding her nervous breakdown. But one thing Jane Carcrashski is not doing is cutting the grass. You see, her estranged husband says he'll do it, and she's making sure he keeps his word. Unfortunately, he's real busy, so he hasn't had time to do it, but he says he'll be over tonight. If not tonight, then the next day. OK, maybe this weekend. Well, something came up, so next weekend?
In the meantime, the grass is growing, and we're past No Mow May into Angry Neighbors And Government Code Violations June, and Jane is thrust into an armed standoff with local government goons fueled by a group of misfits drawn to her growing grass including a property rights extremist who maybe only loves his rights slightly more than his guns, a native plants enthusiast who feels guilty about finding dandelion sandwiches so damn delicious, a yard artist who thinks Jane's yard just needs a few more inflatable flamingos and it would look better, and a digital druid who dislikes clothing and insists on live streaming his intense naked conversations with the plants in Jane's yard.
Remember the Alamo? Remember Waco? Remember Attica? Remember how the Harpers Ferry raid ended?--Also, remember when Harper's Ferry used to have an apostrophe? OK, enough digression, let's get back to the main point--Remember when Philadelphia dropped a bomb on a bunch of militant vegetarians?
No? Well, none of those had happy endings. Jane's still hoping for one here, but that's only probably because she's drunk. If you like novels such as The Monkey Wrench Gang, then you're probably on a government watchlist, but you'll also likely enjoy reading The Front Yard War!The Front Yard War is the sixth published novel by Wred Fright. The other five are The Pornographic Flabbergasted Emus, Blog Love Omega Glee, Frequently Asked Questions About Being Dead, Edna's Employment Agency, and Fast Guy Slows Down. More info about the author and his work is available at WredFright.Com.
Praise for Fright's previous novel, Fast Guy Slow Down:
"I would certainly recommend this story to anyone who enjoys off-the-wall comedy or superhero stories." - Rose Smith of Twenty-two Twenty-eight.
"I dare you to keep up with Wred Fright’s encyclopedia brain . . . I think the #1 theme of Fast Guy Slows Down is that the world doesn’t need superheroes anymore and that makes me sad." - Crazy Carl Robinson, author of Fat On The Vine.
In the meantime, the grass is growing, and we're past No Mow May into Angry Neighbors And Government Code Violations June, and Jane is thrust into an armed standoff with local government goons fueled by a group of misfits drawn to her growing grass including a property rights extremist who maybe only loves his rights slightly more than his guns, a native plants enthusiast who feels guilty about finding dandelion sandwiches so damn delicious, a yard artist who thinks Jane's yard just needs a few more inflatable flamingos and it would look better, and a digital druid who dislikes clothing and insists on live streaming his intense naked conversations with the plants in Jane's yard.
Remember the Alamo? Remember Waco? Remember Attica? Remember how the Harpers Ferry raid ended?--Also, remember when Harper's Ferry used to have an apostrophe? OK, enough digression, let's get back to the main point--Remember when Philadelphia dropped a bomb on a bunch of militant vegetarians?
No? Well, none of those had happy endings. Jane's still hoping for one here, but that's only probably because she's drunk. If you like novels such as The Monkey Wrench Gang, then you're probably on a government watchlist, but you'll also likely enjoy reading The Front Yard War!The Front Yard War is the sixth published novel by Wred Fright. The other five are The Pornographic Flabbergasted Emus, Blog Love Omega Glee, Frequently Asked Questions About Being Dead, Edna's Employment Agency, and Fast Guy Slows Down. More info about the author and his work is available at WredFright.Com.
Praise for Fright's previous novel, Fast Guy Slow Down:
"I would certainly recommend this story to anyone who enjoys off-the-wall comedy or superhero stories." - Rose Smith of Twenty-two Twenty-eight.
"I dare you to keep up with Wred Fright’s encyclopedia brain . . . I think the #1 theme of Fast Guy Slows Down is that the world doesn’t need superheroes anymore and that makes me sad." - Crazy Carl Robinson, author of Fat On The Vine.
246 pages, Paperback
Published January 5, 2025
About the author
Wred Fright
7 books8 followersWred Fright is the pen/stage name of one of the many thousands of blokes named "Fred Wright" wandering around our world today. This one primarily potters around Ohio and Pennsylvania in the USA but occasionally has been known to migrate farther afield.
Writingwise, Wred enjoys journalism (usually of the gonzo variety), fiction (usually of the humorous variety), and poetry (usually of the short variety). He's written for a plethora of publications (including some that actually pay such as Scene and some that are actually respectable such as The Journal For The Psychoanalysis Of Culture And Society), but he especially loves writing for blogs, comics, ezines, and zines such as Fightin' Fun Comics, Go Metric!, Zine World, and his own SMASH and drinkdrankdrunk. His novel The Pornographic Flabbergasted Emus is a humorous look at the life of a hapless garage rock band, while his second novel, Blog Love Omega Glee, pokes fun at the notion that the world will end on a specific predicted date, and his third novel, Frequently Asked Questions About Being Dead, takes life after death and turns it into laugh after death. More writing by Wred can be found in the Library.
Musically, Wred likes to sing and play guitar, with the occasional runs on bass, drums, accordion, theremin, and whatever else. The music is often described as rock and roll, punk, alternative, garage, and pop by listeners. In the past, he's played solo and in such bands as The Darrow Dregs, The Escaped Fetal Pigs, Satan Tortilla, The Flaming Toasters, Angry Housewives, The Lenin Spoonful, Anal Spikemobile, Yeast?, Ungoat, De Niro Youth, Rage Against Dabney Coleman, Shang Tsang, The Hot Glue Guns, The GoGoBots, The Joslyns, and Team Fright. Currently, he occasionally plays out solo or with a band under the Wred Fright name.
Writingwise, Wred enjoys journalism (usually of the gonzo variety), fiction (usually of the humorous variety), and poetry (usually of the short variety). He's written for a plethora of publications (including some that actually pay such as Scene and some that are actually respectable such as The Journal For The Psychoanalysis Of Culture And Society), but he especially loves writing for blogs, comics, ezines, and zines such as Fightin' Fun Comics, Go Metric!, Zine World, and his own SMASH and drinkdrankdrunk. His novel The Pornographic Flabbergasted Emus is a humorous look at the life of a hapless garage rock band, while his second novel, Blog Love Omega Glee, pokes fun at the notion that the world will end on a specific predicted date, and his third novel, Frequently Asked Questions About Being Dead, takes life after death and turns it into laugh after death. More writing by Wred can be found in the Library.
Musically, Wred likes to sing and play guitar, with the occasional runs on bass, drums, accordion, theremin, and whatever else. The music is often described as rock and roll, punk, alternative, garage, and pop by listeners. In the past, he's played solo and in such bands as The Darrow Dregs, The Escaped Fetal Pigs, Satan Tortilla, The Flaming Toasters, Angry Housewives, The Lenin Spoonful, Anal Spikemobile, Yeast?, Ungoat, De Niro Youth, Rage Against Dabney Coleman, Shang Tsang, The Hot Glue Guns, The GoGoBots, The Joslyns, and Team Fright. Currently, he occasionally plays out solo or with a band under the Wred Fright name.
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