Can't Get No Satyrfaction: A Cozy Monster Romance

by Honey Phillips

He’s got hooves, horns, and a bad attitude. She’s got a camera and a knack for trouble. What could possibly go wrong?

Sylvie has always been a hopeless optimist, but even she didn’t expect her latest adventure photographing the mysterious Elderwood Forest would end with her being rescued—albeit reluctantly—by a grumpy, sharp-tongued satyr. Big, brooding, and undeniably magnetic, Thorn is as prickly as the plant for which he’s named.

Thorn has spent years guarding his beloved forest from the humans he despises. When a pretty, bubbly human stumbles into his world he's determined to send her packing, but Sylvie’s knack for attracting trouble is rivaled only by her ability to melt the walls around his heart.

When Sylvie and Thorn are forced to team up to protect the forest, the chemistry between them is impossible to deny. But as danger looms closer, Thorn must decide if he will push Sylvie away to protect her—or risk it all for the chance of love. Because even in the depths of the Elderwood Forest, love can be wild, exhilarating, and sweeter than a satyr with an unexpected taste for stolen kisses.

This sweet and steamy monster romance is intended for mature readers. This book is part of the Mated to the Monster multi-author monster romance series. All books can be read as standalone stories.

Genres: Ebooks, Monsters, Paranormal Romance, Monster Romance, Romance, Fantasy, Paranormal

200 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 11, 2025

Reviews

[JML · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Beautiful 🌟's for Can't get no Saytrfaction 🔥💖

This was the perfect cozy night in type of book. It made me smile, laugh and .are my heart hurt a couple if times. Honey Phillips knows how to write a book filled with characters you can't help but love. Sylvie is a beautiful soul who has a love of nature a d photography. He mother gave her that love and it bow she connects and remembers her. She wins a contest that gives her permission to enter the enchanted wood to take more pictures. Never has she been more excited or happy that is until she meets Thorn the Saytr guardian of the woods. He's grumpy, has mile high walls around his heart but can't seem to care about his tragic past when Sylvie smiles or looks at his forest with awe. Can't Thorn get past his distrust of humans and realize how much Sylvie heals his heart or will he give up the best thing that's ever happened too him? You must read and find out this is so wonderfully written with fantastic characters and great world building! Highly recommend💖🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟🌟💖🌟🔥🌟🔥🌟💖🌟🔥🌟

[꧁ᙏᗣᙃⱿꙆᗣ꧂ · Rating 4 out of 5]

The 'Mated to the Monster' series consists of now 15 books:
✅Half-Breed Conquerer ( March 31 2021) by Luna Hunter - read 30.11.2024 - 3 ⭐⭐⭐
✅Maid for Her Snow Beast: Mated to the Monster (April 6, 2024) by Evangeline aka Priest, Eva Priest - I GIVE 4 SNOW STARS ❄❄❄❄
✅Satyr's Mate: Mated to the Monster (April 8, 2024) by Maggie Mayhem - ANOTHER FABULOUS 4⭐⭐⭐⭐
✅Bonded Beyond Belief (April 10, 2024) by Ember Davis - IT WAS GOOD 3.5 ⭐
✅The Manticore's Mate (April 12, 2024)by Andie Fenichel - THIS ANNOYED ME A LITTLE SO I GIVE IT 3 ⭐⭐⭐
✅Mated to the Dragon: Mated to the Monster (April 15, 2024)by Ava Ross - THIS WAS VERY GOOD FOR 4.5 DRAGON STARS ⭐
✅Mated to the Swamp Monster: Mated to the Monster (April 17, 2024)by Honey Phillips - VERY GOOD 4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐
✅The Hybrid's Heart: A Forbidden Love Romance With a Hybrid in Raging Rut (April 19, 2024) - THERE WAS A LOT OF GOODNESS HERE 4.5 ⭐
-spin off from series titled 'Hybrid Hearts'
✅Mated to the Gargoyle: Mated to the Monster (April 22, 2024) by Lisa Carlisle - IT WAS TOO LIFELESS 3 ⭐⭐⭐
✅The Kraken's Kiss: Mated to the Monster (April 24, 2024) by Matilda Martel -Fantastic and I want more of this world. For me 4.5 beautiful starfish 🐙🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🧜♀🧜♂🐚
-spin off Otherworld Series
✅Mated to the Minotaur: A Fate's Falls Monster Romance (April 27, 2024) by Karla Doyle - 4 MILKY WHITE STARS ⭐⭐⭐⭐
-spin off FATE’S FALLS SERIES
Go on an adventure to the secret town of Fate’s Falls and fall in love with all of its irresistible monsters! All books take place in Fate’s Falls, a small, magically protected town in the mountains of British Columbia, Canada. You’ll see some character appearances and familiar town landmarks across the books. Each story is a standalone romance with a different couple and their journey to a very happily ever after.
-March 24, 2024: The Grumpy Demon’s Sunshine (currently available in the Monsters in Love: Lost in the Fire anthology)
-April 14, 2024: Mated to the Minotaur✅
❌-July 9, 2024: A Reaper is Forever
❌-October 7, 2024: Falling for the Yeti
…and more to come!

✅Sasquatch Love Spell: Mated to the Monster (April 29, 2024) by AC Ruttan - VOCIFEROUS LIKE A BANSHEE 4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐
✅Milk and Honey: Mated to the Monster (April 28, 2024) by Vera Valentine (Author) - 2 ⭐⭐
✅Sasquatch's Claiming: Northern Realm (October 28 2024) by A.C. Ruttan - 3⭐⭐⭐
✅ Can't Get No Satyrfaction by Honey Phillips (March 5, 2025) - 4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐

https://www.amazon.com/Mated-to-the-M...

Mated to the Monster: Season 2 :
✅Fated to the Phoenix (April 26, 2024) by Debra Elise - 3.5 ⭐ PHOENIX STARS
--spin off Gods, Monsters and Magic Series
❌ Promised to the Satyr (October 2, 2024) by Andie Fenichel - ❌
❌ Protected by the Wolven (October 4, 2024) by Alana Khan -
❌ Fated to the Gargoyle (October 9, 2024) by Lisa Carlisle -
❌ Bonded Beyond Regret (October 16, 2024) by Ember Davis -
❌ Incu-bliss: Mated to the Monster: Season 2 (October 21, 2024) by Matilda Martel -
❌ Fated to the Grizzly: A Brethren's Legacy Novella (October 23, 2024) by Debra Elise -
❌ Echoes of Eternity: Mated to the Monster: Season 2 (October 25, 2024) by YD La Mar -
❌ The Pixies' Chosen: Mated to the Monster: Season 2 (October 26, 2024) by SJ Sanders -
❌ Bidding on Her Orc Boss (October 27, 2024) by Evangeline Priest -
❌ Sasquatch's Claiming: Northern Realm (October 28, 2024) by AC Ruttan -
❌ The Goblin's Mine: A Haven's Hollow Story (October 30, 2024) by Vivienne Hart -

❌❓❗ Falling for the Yeti (2024) (The fourth book in the Fate's Falls series)
(A book in the Mated to the Monster: Season 2 series) A novel by Karla Doyle

https://www.amazon.com/Mated-Monster-...

Mated to the Monster: Season 3 - 14 books :
by Alana Khan (Author) , Evangeline Priest (Author) , Honey Phillips (Author) , Ami Wright (Author) , Karla Doyle (Author) , Andie Fenichel (Author) , Veronika Kane (Author) , SJ Sanders (Author) , Ember Davis (Author) , Debra Elise (Author) , Matilda Martel (Author) , YD La Mar (Author) , AC Ruttan (Author) , Vivienne Hart (Author)
❌ 1. Moth to Her Flame by Alana Khan (March 1, 2025)
❌ 2. Conning Her Dragonkin Boss by Evangeline Priest (March 3, 2025)

❌ 4. Kraken Cove: Second Chance With The Sea Monster by Ami Wright (March 7, 2025)
❌ 5. The Rhino's Rose by Karla Doyle (March 10, 2025)
❌ 6. Wild for the Wyvern by Andie Fenichel (March 12, 2025)
❌ 7. My Orc Pen Pal by Veronika Kane (March 14, 2025)
❌ 8. Foxin' Around by SJ Sanders (March 17, 2025)
❌ 9. Wooded Bliss by Ember Davis (March 19, 2025)
❌10.Fated to the Panther by Debra Elise (March 21, 2025)
❌11.Demon Seed by Matilda Martel (March 24, 2025)
❌12The Oni's Heart by YD La Mar (March 26, 2025)
❌13.Bound by the Wraith by AC Ruttan (March 28, 2025)
❌14.The Imp Act by Vivienne Hart (March 31, 2025)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CZ66DY8H?...

[Avis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this sunny/grumpy story of finding true love in the most unexpected places.
Of course Sylvie is the sunshine in the story. She sees everything with a half filled glass. Thorn was an excellent grump. Seeing everything with a half empty glass.
We are introduced to Thorn with Marsh (his nephew) and Rorie's (Aurora) story - Mated to the Swamp Monster.
POV of each was fun to read. I loved how reluctant Thorn was to accept that Sylvie saw his true self. And she accepted all of him , his grump, his protective and his uncertainties .
Then there is Bront. He adds another layer to the story line. He knows or feels that Sylvie should stay .
The story has its own heart rhythm. I love the flow.
I loved how they worked together to keep the forest safe.
Loved the worldbuilding. I could see through the lens of Sylvie's camera the beauty of the forest. And I could feel Thorn's anger, frustration and eventual smile that only Sylvie could make him have.
And as always the perfect HEA.
I received a free copy from the author via Bookfunnel and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Nina Diab · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I’m going to free you. Don’t move.” Her eyes widened as she stared up at him, and he sighed. “Just stay still, little female. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I trust you,” she said softly, and he shot her a startled glance, unexpectedly gratified by her statement.
“You do? Why?”
“I’m a good judge of character. And besides, Fluffy trusts you.”

I loved this book. Great world building and wonderful characters. I loved both Sylvie and Thorn. Bront (also Fluffy) is the most adorable three-headed Cerberus and was also one of my favorite characters (and the goodest boy, of course!). I always enjoy a story that has an effort to save a forest or nature in some fashion, and a male who's protective over the land. Thorn was protective of the forest as it's guardian, and even though he didn't like or trust humans, he was so tender with her and grumpily sweet. Grumpy/sunshine is one of my favorite personality pairings and these two quickly wooed me over. They were really cute together. I also enjoyed the suspense and effort to keep the magical forest safe. 5 stars.

[Cristy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sylvie is certainly an independent sassy woman who likes to push the boundaries. Even more so when she meets the grumpy grouchy Thorn.

Not to be dissuaded in her endeavors she humbly carries on. Against the better judgement of her shadow Thorn.

Throughout her journey to capture the beauty of her surroundings, she also starts to pull layers back on Thorn and discovers there is more to him that meets the eye.

A cute read that truly helps you understand the nature and behavior of an emotionally flawed male, who ultimately forgives himself.

Another amazing read Honey, and of course we can't forget the loveable Fluffy.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Beth Booklover · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.8⭐️ Sunshine meets Grump

Another fun story from Honey Phillips. I always enjoy her stories & this one is no different. Sylvie is brave, but naive. She thinks she’s prepared for a week in the forest, but she couldn’t be further from the truth … especially with this forest. Thorn is a lonely, grumpy protector of the forest who holds a grudge against humans due to his sister being hurt. He has built walls around his heart. Sylvie breaks them all down. This is a steamy human-Other romance with some suspense & a HEA. Also, I love Bront. He is such a fun character in the story.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Cynkris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thorn and Sylvie. First let me say..this is my favorite trope! I love Grumpy/Sunshine! And Thorn is a major Grump. Sylvie is bright, beautiful Sunshine. I loved everything about this story! I liked grumpy Thorn in Mated to the Swamp Monster...he was so wonderfully growly. He deserved a HEA. The combination of he and Sylvie *chefs kiss *.  I really enjoyed the peacefulness of this book. There was plenty of action but I still had a sense of peace and contentment. I could see so clearly what Honey described. As always Honey Phillips took me on a journey with wonderful characters, awesome storylines and magical world building.  And let's not forget my favorite character...Fluffy! 5 stars.

[Donna Zug · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sylvie is out to prove her photography is really good and won a week in Elderwood Forest to explore and take pictures. Lots of pictures of amazing scenery and lighting for her subjects. Then she meets Fluffy, the forest guardian's pet. And then she meets Mr. Grumpy himself - Thorn. A fitting name. She immediately feels safe, a connection she wants to explore and he keeps his distance.
Now they need to work together and Honey knows how to throw two characters together. Whew. With her great plot twists, well described locations and rich characters, we are guided through this amazing story. A sweet sweet monster romance.

[Trish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another hit!

I loved this story. Sylvie, was a sweet , gentle soul, who was born to be in the enchanted forest world. Thorn who we briefly met in a previous story, had sworn to always hate, and mistrust humans. He finds that he has to fight his anger, and hatred after finding out the photographer given special permission to enter his wold is a small, gentle woman. His Three headed Cerabis hound is instantly in love, and devoted to Sylvie. There is a battle in Thorns mind to make her leave, or keep, and claim her, as his mate. After a tension filled story, of regret, and regaining hope for a future, Ms. Phillips gives us a lovely HEA ending.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thorn and Sylvie
What a beautifully written, emotional story. Thorn struggles with his prejudices towards humans as he fell hard for Sylvie. Sylvie is so sweet, open, and fun loving; he didn't stand a chance. Sylvie is a sunshine to Thorn's grumpy. And, I love Thorn's three headed dog, Bront. He has more intelligence and perception than humans. I wished Elderwood forest was real. I'd love to visit such a magical place.
I loved the characters, drama, whimsical, a little element of danger, adventure, and happily-ever-mated.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Holly Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can’t Get No Satyrfaction by Honey Phillips is part of the FairhavenFalls series. Photographer Sylvia wins a week in the carefully guarded Elderwood where all kinds of mythical beings live. She’s not quite prepared for life in the woods, though, and must be saved by a 3 headed dog and his master Thorn, the Guardian of the Elderwood. Together they fall in love while taking down a group of trespassing human hunters. Nice adventure and lots of heat!.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Jannie Cv · Rating 5 out of 5]

The satyr and the photographer - delightful!
The practical side of me is alarmed that Sylvie is woefully unprepared for her adventures in the wilderness. Thankfully, Thorn is there to lend her a hand. I love the fascinating details of her photography! It’s like traveling wilderness beside her. Her bubbly, carefree personality seems the opposite of grumpy Thorn. It’s delightful to watch the attraction between them simmer until - well, you know! 😉 Oh, Thorn’s companion, Bront is a favorite of mine. A well-written, exciting romance!

[ju · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thorn is grumpy, filled with hate, regret and grief. He guards the forest with his adorable three headed dog. The day he meet joyful, sweet, funny and accepting Sylvie, his entire world changes. To be honest, by the end of the book I, much like Thorn, felt a little hate for humans in general, we know how we can be cruel.

Thank got Sylvie is one of the good ones! The way she helps him let go of the past with love and care is beautiful to read. And the way she constantly teases him? Hilarious. This book is everything I needed!!!

[Jendy Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I used to go walking in the (unenchanted as far as I knew) woods when I was younger. I don't think I would have been nearly as cool-headed by the things that Sylvie saw. Though, to be fair, she at least knew the woods were magic! In true Honey Phillips fashion, she made it seem really possible that this world could exist (can it? please?). Thorn sounds absolutely hunky and I personally would love to have a three-headed guard dog. Was the nickname Fluffy a Harry Potter nod? As is true for every Honey book I've read, I loved it!

[Vyerna Kwakkel ( Vyreads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honey Phillips just knows what's up. I could not put this book down. I won't spoil any parts. I'll just tell you all the good stuff. The writing is sublime, the tension perfect, the connection electrifying. Every single moment in this book felt deliberate. I fell in love with the world; the FMC and MMC were perfect for eachother. It had this grumpy and sunshine trope in it, but done in a way that just felt amazing. Highly recommend.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Sydnee Walsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love that Thorn got his story. He needed one after we met him in Marsh’s story. His grumpiness needed some sunshine.
Sylvie is a unique person. She is the right fit for the forest and Thorn. She sees the world through a lens and wants to preserve it as much as she can while capturing it for others to enjoy.
Getting the chance to photograph the forest is a once in a lifetime experience. She meets Thorn and their journey is all captured in time as good as her photographs are. I love the addition of Bront he makes the story sweet and connected.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the series of MTM and this series, is as good as previous ones.
Honey Phillips doesn't let down on her great story-telling and as you start reading your soon imagining everything she describes.
The story-line is a great story of bad attitude and sweetness with a HEA guaranteed.
You will love Thorn with his grumpy-ness and Sylvie with her positive outlook.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Fay J · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is nothing so satisfying as reading about the disdainful grump who falls hard for his sunshine. Thorn was that perfect level of distrust and dislike but shows his true core by recognising that Sylvie is kind and gentle. There is just something about Honey's characters that always means that my heart makes space for them, no matter what.
I adored this book and my only complaint is that I can't go there (I will not strop about it, I won't......) Hmph!

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another Hit!

This is another hit by Honey Phillips! Thorn is the guardian of Elderwood forest and Sylvie won the right to go into the forest and take photographs for a magazine. She meets Thorn after she meets his three headed dog, who loves her. Thorn doesn't like humans and he finds it annoying that he likes her and she is getting under his skin. She's all sunshine and he's all grumpy but in a cute kind of way. It's a really cute and wonderful story and I loved it!

[Robin Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

An Unexpected Photoshoot

A mother great book from Honey. I enjoyed the plot as a human granted access to the forest, meeting it's guardian and spending time together. As they traveled the forest with her discovering all the beauty in it, their feelings toward each other grew. Once they acknowledged their feelings for each other and cleared the forest of poachers, they got their HEA.

[Eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sylvie is an photographer, she sets off to explore and photograph Elderwood Forest magical woods. This proves to be much more interesting and adventurous than she expected. An adorable “fluffy” Cerberus, an attractive and grumpy satyr named Thorn will change her life forever.
Adorably sweet and spicy story that hits all the right notes.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Deanna Hawthorne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Am Disappointed Again!

This story was just as disappointing as the previous book in the series. Neither is not typical of Ms. Phillips romance style. This story was so focused on the forest plants and flowers that there was little development of romance for the couple. Am so disappointed that the 2 books of this series were a disappointment. None of this book developed a sweet romance. Additionally the bad guys were confusing and vague.

[Gloria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sylvie is allowed a week to photograph in the magical Elderwood Forest. There she meets satyr Thorn and his three headed dog Bront. Thorn does not like or trust humans but something about Sylvie keeps him near to her. Sweet grumpy monster romance.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Jessica A · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the grumpy/sunshine trope and Honey Phillips nailed it! The story was sweet, heartfelt, and made me feel like I was right there in Elderwood. The story was a quick read and left my heart happy. I loved Bront and I think you will too!.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Ms. Le · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honey has done it again. Just loved this story of sunshine human Sylvie and the grumpy and guarded guardian of the forest sanctuary Elderwood Thorn. Cerberus Bront finds Sylvie trapped by vines and goes to fetch his owner Thorn to help. He wants her gone from the forest but when she refuses to be pushed away, her laughter and tempting body can’t help but make him want to protect and claim her.

[Andi Downs · Rating 5 out of 5]

This author's books are always a joy to read and always in demand. :D I am always happy to grab an arc or buy a new book to add to my collection. This features a grumpy satyr Thorn and an optimistic woman, Sylvie. Opposites that come together and we get our happy ending. :D
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Sara Woods · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now I am in Love

Oh my oh my now I am in love!!! What a beautiful grumpy hero our Satyr is!!! So sexy, so perfect, and he makes you just fall head over heels in love with him! Such a beautiful story with such vivid nature scenes. I feel like I was there walking in the forest! This was a great story!

[Zooleyus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honey has done it again. I loved this book Sylvie and Thorn have to work together to save the forest. Thorn is a saytr and protects the forest, while Sylvie is a human that draws bad luck to herself. Would recommend this book.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

SWEET BOOK!

I liked the two characters except Sylvie’s eternal smile and never-ended talking was getting on my nerves. I know it’s a novella but I'd like a little more angst in the story. I really enjoyed Elderwood forest and all of its secrets. Honey did a fine job describing the forest.

[Marianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent monster romance.. I liked it so much! An adorably grumpy satyr.. Spicy-hot and effortlessly heartwarming..

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.