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A Hard Row to Hoe
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
1147 pages, ebook
Published November 11, 2024
96 people are currently reading
640 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 136 reviews
February 4, 2025
Best Dramione I’ve read in a long time. If there is any justice, this one will blow up like Mortifying Ordeal and Manacled and we will get a traditional title eventually. 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
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February 5, 2025Essential fandom reading.
There was a discussion on Reddit recently about whether or not Draco could ever atone for all of the things he has done. Many said no, never. He would always be a bad person who doesn’t deserve anything good.
I just want to link them this fic.
It’s a story about change. It’s about how people can grow beyond their circumstances. And with time and intent, they can be better.
Some fluff, some spice, some action. A lot of healing.
A hall of famer.
My only quibble is that these characters need to learn how to keep a secret, sheesh! Protocol people!
There was a discussion on Reddit recently about whether or not Draco could ever atone for all of the things he has done. Many said no, never. He would always be a bad person who doesn’t deserve anything good.
I just want to link them this fic.
It’s a story about change. It’s about how people can grow beyond their circumstances. And with time and intent, they can be better.
Some fluff, some spice, some action. A lot of healing.
A hall of famer.
My only quibble is that these characters need to learn how to keep a secret, sheesh! Protocol people!
February 11, 2025
Can’t believe I almost DNFd this masterpiece, honestly one of the greats. Such a gripping plot with amazing OCs. The characterisation of Draco is absolutely spot on! So excited to see what this writer comes up with next. For future me: this is the one where Draco is a literal assassin that lives in a green townhouse in Soho and the crazy villain is the one with the mutated dragon.
August 18, 2025
I’m never leaving this fandom! 🥹 I loved everything about this but especially fussy Draco. It was dramatic, it was hilarious, it was sensible. Ah! I already want to reread!
March 8, 2025
I was not expecting such a thoughtfully prosed masterpiece on living with guilt, atonement, and life itself amidst a fun quasi spy/assassin thriller-romance tale.
All of the characters were demential, deliciously unique, and delightful to read. The plot sucked me in instantly and made it difficult to put down. Writing? Downright brilliant. Walking a tightrope of comedy and tragedy is a tricky balance. I found the author’s incredible wit, insight, and surprisingly excellent lessons completely captivating.
All of the characters were demential, deliciously unique, and delightful to read. The plot sucked me in instantly and made it difficult to put down. Writing? Downright brilliant. Walking a tightrope of comedy and tragedy is a tricky balance. I found the author’s incredible wit, insight, and surprisingly excellent lessons completely captivating.
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July 23, 2025I loved it so, so much. I cannot even tell you. I laughed out loud in literal fits of laughter so many times. DLM, you’re right. You’re perfect.
February 9, 2025
SIX STARS. Officially God-tier for me. Moved into my #1 Dramione slot.
Just, wow. This fic checked every single one of my boxes, everything I want in a Dramione story. It had a repentant but still cocky Draco, a competent Hermione that could be soft, a writing style with personality and heart. It had side characters that you could fall in love with and a naturally progressing romance – everything felt true to characters, completely believable and just perfectly balanced. There were SO many moments that made me laugh out loud, swoon, feel something, cry – the number of highlighted passages on my ereader speaks for itself. Will be proselytizing about this one to anyone who will listen. The writing was just SO GOOD.
- post-war
- assassin Draco with WI7, seeking redemption; ministry Hermione + Restitution Fund for mind healers project
- Draco in therapy
- TOP NOTCH banter
- great villain, psycho Evangeline who even had her own backstory
- undeniable chemistry, somewhat of a slow burn, right amount of spice
- dragon Draco, "Tuna" Charlie
- interjecting Theo, of course
- new best friend/ assistant, Gemma (less of a house-elf presence in this one due to this)
- emotional complexity with serious character development
- very strong plot
Quotes:
> Made me laugh:
"Draco winked at him... and thusly vowed to stop drinking of the day. Winking was his tell. If he escalated to finger guns, he was too far gone."
"SPURT, was it?"
"He had overhead lighting but rarely used it... he wasn't a heathen."
> Made me feel:
"Those who are lost causes don't typically try so very hard for redemption."
"She wondered if she'd ever find something like Harry and Ginny had? It wasn't jealousy, she was sure of that... just a gentle sort of longing she felt from time to time. It felt as good as it did bad."
"Do I seem the type to spiral, Healer Lethe? 'Like a prima ballerina, Mr. Malfoy. You were born to spin yourself into oblivion."
"Draco did not partake in squash-flavored coffee." (PSL)
Just, wow. This fic checked every single one of my boxes, everything I want in a Dramione story. It had a repentant but still cocky Draco, a competent Hermione that could be soft, a writing style with personality and heart. It had side characters that you could fall in love with and a naturally progressing romance – everything felt true to characters, completely believable and just perfectly balanced. There were SO many moments that made me laugh out loud, swoon, feel something, cry – the number of highlighted passages on my ereader speaks for itself. Will be proselytizing about this one to anyone who will listen. The writing was just SO GOOD.
- post-war
- assassin Draco with WI7, seeking redemption; ministry Hermione + Restitution Fund for mind healers project
- Draco in therapy
- TOP NOTCH banter
- great villain, psycho Evangeline who even had her own backstory
- undeniable chemistry, somewhat of a slow burn, right amount of spice
- dragon Draco, "Tuna" Charlie
- interjecting Theo, of course
- new best friend/ assistant, Gemma (less of a house-elf presence in this one due to this)
- emotional complexity with serious character development
- very strong plot
Quotes:
> Made me laugh:
"Draco winked at him... and thusly vowed to stop drinking of the day. Winking was his tell. If he escalated to finger guns, he was too far gone."
"SPURT, was it?"
"He had overhead lighting but rarely used it... he wasn't a heathen."
> Made me feel:
"Those who are lost causes don't typically try so very hard for redemption."
"She wondered if she'd ever find something like Harry and Ginny had? It wasn't jealousy, she was sure of that... just a gentle sort of longing she felt from time to time. It felt as good as it did bad."
"Do I seem the type to spiral, Healer Lethe? 'Like a prima ballerina, Mr. Malfoy. You were born to spin yourself into oblivion."
"Draco did not partake in squash-flavored coffee." (PSL)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 20, 2025
Recommended by the Popcast (Jamie’s Green Light)
Teenaged me would be appalled I’m reading Dramione. Teenaged me would also be appalled I’m telling people I’m reading fanfiction. But hey, teenaged me was a biznatch.
Teenaged me would be appalled I’m reading Dramione. Teenaged me would also be appalled I’m telling people I’m reading fanfiction. But hey, teenaged me was a biznatch.
September 1, 2025
PUT IT IN THE FANFIC HALL OF FAME
February 2, 2025
Yeah, this is Harry Potter/Dramione fan fiction. Yeah, I’m counting it towards my reading challenge 😂
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February 6, 2025Dramione fan fiction is fun idc!
June 23, 2025
this was SO insanely good, honestly right up there with fics like dmatmoobil, isolation and manacled for me 👀 not to be overdramatic but 1000000/10 at least
February 14, 2025
3,5⭐️ compared to Manacled and DMATMOOBIL this was a disappointment tbh. this fic was too dragged out, i feel like it could be 300-500 pages shorter. then the romance itself…it was insta-love/lust to me. sorry, but they already had feelings on page 400 out of 1312. be so ffr. i also disliked Hermione’s personality in this one - it was so plain and uncharacteristic in my opinion.
the plot is quite good though it still could’ve been executed better.
the plot is quite good though it still could’ve been executed better.
September 8, 2025
50/10, you’ll understand if you read it 😉 this was one of the BEST dramione fics I’ve had the pleasure of reading, humor and plot were absolute top tier and I would definitely read again. Combined some of my favorite elements from my other fave fics like DMATMOOBIL, BSP, remain nameless with other completely original elements, and everyone loves a super secret agent.
January 22, 2025
This book needs more attention! If you’re a Dramione fan, this should immediately be on your list. It’s charming, funny, thoughtful, and intriguing. As always with fanfic, there are some slight editing errors and things that could be expounded upon, but this one was just lovely.
August 18, 2025
the name’s Malfoy…. Draco Malfoy
February 3, 2025
4.5 STARS ROUNDED UP TO 5 BECAUSE IT'S FANFIC THAT WAS WRITTEN ON A WHIM WITHOUT AN EDITOR AND IT'S STILL BETTER THAN 50% OF THE TRAD PUBLISHED SWILL I'VE READ THIS YEAR.
So for real, this was a freaking banger of a story. The plot was freaking AMAZING - like it was a real spy novel with a deranged bad guy and the PLOT was the POINT not the spice. But the romance at the heart was divine and it slotted in so nicely with the big plot. My only slight quibble is that I wasn't a huge fan of this version of grown up Hermione. She didn't seem to have as rich of a life as I'd expect from her. I love the way she advocates for mental health and the way she talks about how keeping herself and Ron and Harry alive in the forest for a year really messed her up. I just would have expected, once she gets back into a life or death situation with Draco, for those old neuropathways to fire up and for to take charge at least a little bit. At the end when she said she couldn't believe she didn't have her bag with her, I was like YEAH DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER - and I really thought it was going to turn into Hermione being part of Draco's world and doing research and her figuring out all of the stuff... but... she just kind of didn't. Which is fine. She's allowed to be tired of that life and not want it again, I just expected her to be triggered and ptsd regression or something. but that's on me. What's on the page is really good and makes sense, I just like my Hermione with a bit more edge.
So for real, this was a freaking banger of a story. The plot was freaking AMAZING - like it was a real spy novel with a deranged bad guy and the PLOT was the POINT not the spice. But the romance at the heart was divine and it slotted in so nicely with the big plot. My only slight quibble is that I wasn't a huge fan of this version of grown up Hermione. She didn't seem to have as rich of a life as I'd expect from her. I love the way she advocates for mental health and the way she talks about how keeping herself and Ron and Harry alive in the forest for a year really messed her up. I just would have expected, once she gets back into a life or death situation with Draco, for those old neuropathways to fire up and for to take charge at least a little bit. At the end when she said she couldn't believe she didn't have her bag with her, I was like YEAH DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER - and I really thought it was going to turn into Hermione being part of Draco's world and doing research and her figuring out all of the stuff... but... she just kind of didn't. Which is fine. She's allowed to be tired of that life and not want it again, I just expected her to be triggered and ptsd regression or something. but that's on me. What's on the page is really good and makes sense, I just like my Hermione with a bit more edge.
October 20, 2025
Very well written Dramione! Only complaint (as with the nature of these), is that it was too long. Fanfics lack the editing to move through the story quicker, BUT - it was really good. Dry humor and very witty at times. The story centered around Draco and his character arc (atoning for his sordid past as a secret assassin for the good guys). The writing and the humor were the best part.
February 4, 2025
Okay, loved. This Draco was the best Draco and I was giggling with all his antics- so fun!!!
June 22, 2025
LITERALLY PERFECTION
No notes
This is the blueprint fr
No notes
This is the blueprint fr
September 1, 2025
I am unwell 😭🫶🏼
November 26, 2025
CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THE TITLE MEANS
September 26, 2025
Oh my oh my oh my. SIX STARS. Absolutely in my top 5 dramione fics & top 5 Dracos. I could not put this down. You know it’s good when getting sleepy at night while reading makes you made.
He’s an assassin? I’m sorry- can you be more daddy than that? Goodbye. Like hot Draco who is a badass & a secret agent? I cannot.
I loved to see how he progressed- the love he had for his W17 team, how he was trying to make the world a better place- and had a heart of gratitude for Hermione.
I LOVE when H & D have crushes & it’s kind of back and forth for a while. When they’re both pining- the flirting is TOP NOTCH. The wit & banter & flirting in this was everything.
Gemma is the best, and I didn’t see the Angela thing coming until it happened. Totally crazy.
Everything about Evangeline was so scary but also brilliant? I loved that we had a new villain that I haven’t seen yet. Absolutely bonkers, and I liked seeing her POV. Totally bat shit- but getting into her head was fascinating. Her fixation with Draco was crazy. The gasp I gasped when she polyjuiced as Harry was crazy.
THE DRAGONS. Oh my gosh. Draco the dragon protecting Hermione?! And just being so precious? You know I’m a sucker for a dragon with a personality.
Andromeda as the director was CRAZY. I figured it was someone we knew but I just couldn’t decide who it would be.
A few notes:
- I loved H&D’s interest and adoration from the beginning. So fun to see Hermione surprised by how much he had changed.
- Their flirting& touching but not touching at the Quidditch match SENT ME!!! I was kicking my feet.
- When they first got together & they were both like “okay yeah we just need to do it why are we lying to ourselves” I screamed
- Hermione’s crash out was sad. I was proud of how they came back together.
- The notes she left with his meals!!! Bye
- We got a “where is my wife” moment!!! UGH!
- I was shook when is looked like Evangeline killed Hermione. I knew it didn’t actually happen, but Draco using the sword in anger to off Evangeline was BADASS.
Anyways I absolutely loved this, all of it. I only wish I could have seen the engagement, as you know I’m a sucker for it. (Also what ever happened with him become head auror?)
He’s an assassin? I’m sorry- can you be more daddy than that? Goodbye. Like hot Draco who is a badass & a secret agent? I cannot.
I loved to see how he progressed- the love he had for his W17 team, how he was trying to make the world a better place- and had a heart of gratitude for Hermione.
I LOVE when H & D have crushes & it’s kind of back and forth for a while. When they’re both pining- the flirting is TOP NOTCH. The wit & banter & flirting in this was everything.
Gemma is the best, and I didn’t see the Angela thing coming until it happened. Totally crazy.
Everything about Evangeline was so scary but also brilliant? I loved that we had a new villain that I haven’t seen yet. Absolutely bonkers, and I liked seeing her POV. Totally bat shit- but getting into her head was fascinating. Her fixation with Draco was crazy. The gasp I gasped when she polyjuiced as Harry was crazy.
THE DRAGONS. Oh my gosh. Draco the dragon protecting Hermione?! And just being so precious? You know I’m a sucker for a dragon with a personality.
Andromeda as the director was CRAZY. I figured it was someone we knew but I just couldn’t decide who it would be.
A few notes:
- I loved H&D’s interest and adoration from the beginning. So fun to see Hermione surprised by how much he had changed.
- Their flirting& touching but not touching at the Quidditch match SENT ME!!! I was kicking my feet.
- When they first got together & they were both like “okay yeah we just need to do it why are we lying to ourselves” I screamed
- Hermione’s crash out was sad. I was proud of how they came back together.
- The notes she left with his meals!!! Bye
- We got a “where is my wife” moment!!! UGH!
- I was shook when is looked like Evangeline killed Hermione. I knew it didn’t actually happen, but Draco using the sword in anger to off Evangeline was BADASS.
Anyways I absolutely loved this, all of it. I only wish I could have seen the engagement, as you know I’m a sucker for it. (Also what ever happened with him become head auror?)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 22, 2025
I listened to the podfic by the wizardwheezes and I had the best time 😭 these versions of Draco + Hermoine were so amazing I love them so much!!! Every Draco and healer lethe interaction made me giggle and laugh (even in public) and the storyline was so catchy??? I loved the supportive Harry + Ron and slightly unhinged Theo is always a favourite 🥰 perfect fic (even though I was tempted to remove one star because WHO IS THE WOMAN IN THE CLOAK????)
May 24, 2025
maybe i wasn’t in the right headspace for this one but it just dragged for me. i didn’t even want to finish it. maybe ill try it again another time…
the fact that draco & hermoine fell in love so fast made it hard for me to be into it, i do love the slow burn. assassin draco was a cool plot line, but there needs to be some heavy edits to keep the pacing up imo.
the fact that draco & hermoine fell in love so fast made it hard for me to be into it, i do love the slow burn. assassin draco was a cool plot line, but there needs to be some heavy edits to keep the pacing up imo.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 15, 2025
Draco, essentially Winston Schmidt from New Girl, is a secret agent for MI6, sorry "WI7," as he was given the choice to become a government assassin in lieu of going to Azkaban. Hermione's personality is somewhat unrecognizable in this one. HOWEVER I laughed. I cried. I was enthralled. I don't think the fate of an original (non-HP) character ever made me cry before this one.
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April 18, 2025This was funny, witty & heartfelt all mixed in together.
The prose at times was giving me DMATMOOBIL vibes, so I, of course, was immediately locked in. We get a yearning type of romance, intertwined friendship groups, an adventurous plot, a worthy villain, & an exploration into rocky feelings.
The prose at times was giving me DMATMOOBIL vibes, so I, of course, was immediately locked in. We get a yearning type of romance, intertwined friendship groups, an adventurous plot, a worthy villain, & an exploration into rocky feelings.
July 23, 2025
I have been changed for the better. If you are a Dramione fan, you should read this. If you aren’t, pretend you don’t know anything about the HP universe and enjoy. Judge if you want, but I devoured this and could not stop talking about it. Just ask Matt Holland.
February 3, 2025
4.5/5 ⭐️ 2/5🌶️ Dramione fan fiction where Draco is a MI6 type spy for the wizard world. Such a great plot, great banter and chemistry, and not too drawn out.
April 22, 2025
I’m obsessed with Dramoine fan fic I guess
Displaying 1 - 30 of 136 reviews