Wow, this is a book I first read as a teenager when it was first released and have read every few years since (even as an adult ) and have recently just finished my probably dozenth re-read. This book gripped me with a strange intensity back as a teenager and its grip has not loosened almost 20 years later. It is an EMOTIONAL roller coaster and Caletti handles the up and downs fairly well and its her strongest skill as a writer, mixing humor and pathos. I've read most of Caletti's other books, my other all time favorite being "He's Gone".
Teenage impressions:
I loved this narrator. She says all those things that I wish could say. She is incredible observant, snarky, loyal, loving, and perceptive. I liked her the best of all Caletti's heroines, who are more shy, introverted girls. As a teenager, I found her a super empowering narrator and was really grateful to have this book as a teenage girl. I remember being appalled of how terrible Dino was to Cassie, calling her 'tramp', 'child', 'silly' and THROWING A WINE GLASS AT HER. I found it hard to understand why her mother would allow such terrible behavior to go unchecked, and why Cassie never moved into her Dad's house? Yet, I did sympathize with her mother, who seemed to be trying hard to keep everything together. I LOVED Ian Waters so much and their 'romance' and was devastated at the end of the book, but happy they still remained in contact. I also wondered why Cassie's college plans were never mentioned--I mean she could have just gone to college in the same city as Ian ? I loved the snarky pop culture asides, how the fashion of the era was criticized, ect.
Adult impressions:
Still love Cassie. I love Cassie even more, and am disappointed how little attention was given to her own passions and future career. Astronomy, college, after school clubs, her relationship with her friend Zebe. There was so much focus on Ian moving away, chasing his dreams, Dino finishing his music, people loving/hating Dino that Cassie's are literally barely mentioned except for an occasional trip to the planetarium. I think this was probably to show how caught up she was in the moment dealing with her mother, Dino, School, her Dad, ect. It's sad, and I hope that Cassie is now living her dream! We rarely saw females who like STEM in children's YA back then and this could have been a great chance to do this. Dino is probably the second most complex character in the book, his whole hidden back story, executive functioning issues, bipolar mood swings...like yikes. Caletti did an awesome job revealing this piece by piece but I still have NO sympathy for him. I sympathize LESS with Cassie's parents. Her Dad is jealous, weird, and checked out and her mother is written as some sort of ditz/love-blind/but also martyred woman. I don't feel like she is characterized super well.
Sad to say, Ian and Cassie's relationship is the weakest part of the book. The periods when they actually date and are together are breezed over, and we don't get tons of dialogue between them, or tons of development. They don't seem to have much in common, and don't talk about their dysfunctional families that much...also like why don't they talk about going to college in the same town again?? Its more of Cassie pining after Ian and not them actually being together. But as an adult, I find it appalling how terrible everyone was towards Ian and Cassie. Ian is clearly close to some sort of burnout/break down yet his mother, teacher and even Cassie's mother tell her to stay away because she will "destroy" him. Cassie is treated as some sort of manipulative temptress, a sad stereotype of women. He needs to work 24/7 and cannot have any sort of friends or social life. This is terrible, but also emblematic of the millennial trophy kid experience. They're being "banned" to see each other is clearly dramatic, YA stuff, but it does ring true. There is a strong obsession and control towards women's sexuality/dating life and it shows here.
Also, just oomph with the racist/homophobic tropes scattered in the text. Like oomph they aged badly.
I think this book also did a great job taking down the "crazy male genius" trope. We tend to worship "male geniuses" who treat people like DIRT but we don't really know much about how much their family had to suffer from that. Every time I read this book I feel completely immersed in the world/emotions of this book. Even after all these years, I pick up on new details.