By Some Miracle I Made It Out of There: A Memoir

by Tom Sizemore, Anna David

Tom Sizemore has been called many things. Brilliant. Brutal. Fiercely talented. Angry. Drug addicted. In reality, he's all of them. He's a survivor of the Detroit ghetto, the fifty-year-old father of twin boys, and a veteran of dozens of movies. He's also now sober, after his addiction took his life just about as far down as any human being could go.
Through screen-stealing performances in the 1990s movies True Romance, Heat, and Natural Born Killers, Sizemore was so in demand that even when it was widely known that he had a drug problem, directors like Steven Spielberg were offering him roles and begging him to stay sober for them. Robert De Niro personally recruited him for the role of Michael
Cheritto in Heat after asking him to dinner and expressing his admiration. Jack Nicholson, Robert Downey, Jr., and Johnny Depp each went out of their way to befriend him. But this same man went from romancing Elizabeth Hurley and Juliette Lewis to being accused of domestic violence by the world's most famous madam, and moved from a Beverly Hills mansion to a solitary-confinement cell at Chino State Prison and later a desolate, abandoned cabin in a town best known for being where Charles Manson hid Rosemary LaBianca's wallet.
For years, Sizemore's days were filled with overdoses, suicide attempts, and homelessness. The simple fact is that people don't come back from where Tom Sizemore landed--yet miraculously, he did. By Some Miracle I Made It Out of There is a harrowing journey into the heart of addiction, told in riveting and often shocking detail--a terrifying cautionary tale for anyone who's peered over the abyss of drug abuse. By turns gritty and heartbreaking, it is also one man's look at a particular moment in entertainment history--a window into the drug-fueled spotlight that sent Robert Downey, Jr., to jail and killed River Phoenix, Heath Ledger, and Chris Farley and many others far before their time.
***
"I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT I'D GIVE TO BE THE GUY YOU DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT. . . .
I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE THAT IMPOSSIBLE, AND I KNOW THAT TELLING YOU ALL ABOUT THEM WON'T HELP ME TO BECOME AMERICA'S FAVORITE SON.
BUT IT MAY HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND HOW EVERYTHING HAPPENED THE WAY IT DID. . . ."
--TOM SIZEMORE

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Film, Autobiography, Addiction, Biography Memoir

256 pages, Paperback

First published April 9, 2013

About the author

Thomas Edward Sizemore Jr. (November 29, 1961 – March 3, 2023) was an American actor. He is known for his supporting roles in Born on the Fourth of July (1989), Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991), Passenger 57 (1992), True Romance (1993), Natural Born Killers (1994), Strange Days (1995), Heat (1995), Saving Private Ryan (1998), Red Planet (2000), Black Hawk Down (2001), Pearl Harbor (2001), and the revival television series Twin Peaks (2017), and for voicing Sonny Forelli in the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (2002).

Reviews

[Pam Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an honest, albeit rough, account of a struggle to survive in an insane world. I am cheering for Tom to make this a permanent change in his life. He is very talented and I would like to see him on the screen again.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good story! Rough at times what addiction did to him. He's a total womanizer as he never once compliments a female actress, but always gives some shout out to the men working on a film. I read this in a few days as he keeps you wanting to see what happens next.

[Holly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Narcissistic portrayal of his acting career intermittent with a semi-serious realization of his drug abuse.

[Marissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read like a moody, strung-out teenager's diary, but I still couldn't seem to put it down.

[Barry Hammond · Rating 4 out of 5]

While it's a memoir of Tom Sizemore's career as an actor in such films as Born On The Fourth Of July, Heat, Natural Born Killers, True Romance, and Saving Private Ryan, it's also one of the most harrowing stories of drug addiction this reader has ever read. Sizemore gives a brutally honest account of the day-to-day realities of being an addict, first with heroin and cocaine, then (after cleaning up from the those) the even worse addiction of meth-amphetamine. It's not a pretty story but it does give the reader a picture of a specific time in Hollywood and insight into what can happen to derail the career of a talented but troubled artist in the mold of a Robert Downey Jr., River Phoenix, Chris Farley or Heath Ledger. It's also an inspiring story in that someone who was down about as far as it's possible to go (having gone to prison, lost everything he owned, dragged through media scandal after scandal, and become homeless and alone) could get sober and start rebuilding their life. A truly humbling tale. - BH.

[ForenSeek · Rating 3 out of 5]

A dark, disturbing read about a man who destroyed his friendships, relationships and career because he got addicted to heroin and meth. Not so much a book about movies (those are mentioned very briefly, with a few anecdotes from the sets here and there) as it is about a wasted opportunity. Sizemore is candid and direct in his prose, and many of the stories he tells, dark though they are, make for an entertaining read. Not a masterpiece, but worth a read for fans of films like Saving Private Ryan (1998) and Heat (1995).

[Patrick Duran · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had this book sitting around for a few years and finally picked it up after hearing of the death of Tom. It's a sad story of a very talented actor getting caught up in drugs and the toll it took on his life. After becoming sober, he wrote that he would be lucky to live another 35 years (at age 50). He made it 11 years which is surprising considering how heavy he was into crystal meth and heroin. He did make it out of there alive, even if it was for a relatively brief period. Sad.

[Jessie Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely amazing and heartfelt story. I am grateful that he shared his story.
He bared his soul and came out stronger and anyone who is struggling with addiction can learn a lot about second chances.

[sandra k. dwyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A grit, true story Tom Sizemore

Such a sad and also uplifting story of one man's decent to the depths of addiction and to at last have the strength and humility to rebuild. Such a talented actor who had it all and lost everything.

[Alexander Munoz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, the way this story was told was incredible. It just really seems like Tom didn’t hold back on the telling of his story and told us his whole life story, the good and the bad, he didn’t hold back, and I respect that greatly.

[Jayne Verdon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very honest bio. Tom is a very bright man and it shows that how smart you are you can still become an addict. He is a very sensitive human being and I love that in a man.

[Tom Ferensen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Comes off as “sorry I got caught” more than anything else with some very superficial acting anecdotes peppered throughout.

[Colleen Wainwright · Rating 3 out of 5]

While it rambles in places and is repetitive after a point—the addict's life is pretty much "lather/rinse/repeat" until it isn't—it's a solid, fully-told cautionary tale, especially for those susceptible to the fanciful notion that enough of the right kind of love will fill them. Threaded throughout are great lessons for actors and other creatives interested in pursuing the truth through their narrow and challenging path of choice: when he worked, he worked with incredible discipline and thoroughness. Co-author Anna David does an excellent job of wrangling a sprawling tale (and, probably, an equally sprawling mind), but because it's an "as told to", it lacks the revelatory insight of a writer's memoir (e.g. Mary Karr's Lit, Caroline Knapp's Drinking: A Love Story, Stephen King's On Writing, etc.). Still, a quick enough read to make it worth your afternoon.

[Andrea · Rating 2 out of 5]

Actually better than I expected. I have a bit of a prurient streak in my reading habits--I read this to satisfy that urge. One thing I hate to see in addiction memoirs is a person who writes as if they have had the consummate addiction experience and that things are the same for everybody. I also get riled up when people discourage or recommend against other forms of treatment/recovery. Everyone is different. No author should assume that every reader will experience things the same way he does. Sizemore makes a lot of statements saying YOU instead of I or one. I found it irritating. I don't think he and I are much alike.There were some stories that were mildly interesting though. Lots of name-dropping and talking about all the women he's screwed. It sounds like he cries a lot and thinks himself extraordinarily talented and intelligent. I'm not convinced.

[Eric C. · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's a memoir and Sizemore bares everything but that kind of sharing just feels a little too much like an AA story. It's his story for sure but I couldn't help but feel that writing this book also contributes to the Narcissism that led to his drug addiction in the first place. There's a lot of "everyone kept telling me how great I was"...ok. That being said, I did enjoy some of the gossipy name dropping and some behind the scenes stuff (Kilmer comes off pretty badly at times-LOL). And some of the women that Sizemore hooked up with is pretty interesting (if lengthy). This is an LA/Hollywood lifestyle that many people aren't familiar with but is the norm for most actors who have early moderate success, I'd venture. An easy fun/gossipy type story about finding your sobriety (aren't virtually all the celebrity memoirs like this?).

[Joe Brunory · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe not the most sophisticated book on the market, much of the story involves addiction, sex, some name dropping and Hollywood style parties. I was interested to see a complex thread of poverty circle through the story. Sizemore grew up in a tough Detroit neighborhood and by all rights never would have expected the life he achieved. It was pretty amazing to read about the drive that got him there, and eventually through a gazillion treatment programs. He wrote that when he was growing up they only had a bathtub, and now in his sobriety, he likes the bath vs the shower because it reconnects him to those roots. Interesting twist for someone who lived so long being a bottomless pit of addictions, charming story in his own way. Interesting for anyone interested in acting or film.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like this cat as an actor, so I was totally interested to find out what's been going on with him lately and about him going so downhill when he made it in the big time. All I can say is dang, he did a lot of drugs and was given 19 chances to finally get it together. I don't think a non-actor would have been extended the same privileges as they gave to him. Anyway, I always love a happy ending. It must be extremely hard to be a slave to an addiction, but I hope he keeps up the good work because I really do like his acting!

[Anthony Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

I truly enjoyed reading this book. I am a huge fan of Anna David and she helped Tom Sizemore tell his story. It was well written, brilliant, and I could not put this book down.

I know that there was an extremely serious nature to the book, but in addition to that I truly enjoyed how we were introduced to young actors before they became famous.

Anna David's writing made me imagine that I was hanging out with Tom while he was on the set, meeting all these famous people and experiencing his younger days.

It was well worth the two days that it took me to read. Time well spent!

[Matt Warren · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a big fan of sordid, sex-and-drug-soaked Hollywood memoirs this ranks high. Sizemore was a great actor (really) but his real art was dirtbaggery. Truly some of the most hilariously scuzzy behavior ever admitted to on the record, much less published. From snorting heroin with Juliette Lewis to sex worker orgies fueled by crack, meth-smoking crashouts with Heidi Fleiss, and befuddling behind-the-scenes tidbits about VH1's Celebrity Rehab, this foul document of a broken and tortured soul is an absolute hoot.

[Aaron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Engaging, oftentimes arrogant autobiography has plenty to offer in Sizemore's anecdotes about his early acting career. Once the drugs and sex take over, naturally, the vision becomes cloudy and the book seems to jump around with less insight. Plus, a spotty sense of time regarding his numerous rises, rehabs and falls creates confusion. All too often Sizemore appears homeless but then he's in a A-List movie. Still, a seedy, colorful portrayal of young Hollywood in the 80s and 90s.

[Petra Morin · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, I read alot of these type of memoirs and this one...............really bugged me!! Okay, Tom Sizemore bugged me. Talk about ego! I still kept reading it though and I decided that by the end he was actually starting to change somewhat and I guess that makes it a pretty realistic story. Change takes time.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was a lot of name dropping but the overall story was very good. Tom was and is a talented actor and complex man. The story of his rise and fall only to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes of his life and drug addiction kept me entranced. His insights into the world of drug addiction are very real and not a bit glamorous. a cautionary tale worth reading.

[Neil Mudde · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting although movie stars need to drop names, Sizemore has come a long way from where he was, it is a bit of a messy read, about a somewhat messy life, addiction to no matter what is a heavy burden to carry around.

[Dlafave · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always enjoyed reading biographies. There is something to learn from the experiences of others. This Hollywood actor was on top of the world with a magnificent future, until he made some mistakes. This is a story of struggle and strength.

[Leigh Williams]

Wasn't as in depth as I'd hoped it would be- but an intense story all the same. Very good.

[Marie · Rating 1 out of 5]

The entire book is just a resume of his work and women. I felt it was too surface.

[Matt Willem · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tom Sizemore's memior. Pretty good. Starts out with some fun celebrity stuff ("Jack Nicholson brought me over to Marlon Brando's house...") but mostly a frank personal account of addiction.

[Joel Cigan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal book that exposes Hollywood for what it is. Lots of sex and drugs. I was extremely entertained all the way through.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay. Crazy addict talk; definitely not aware of his effect on others and didn't seem to be in too much of a hurry to take responsibility for his actions. Sad!