Parents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to Navigating Your Emotions So You and Your Family Can Thrive

by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, Juli Fraga

This practical guide teaches parents how to understand and process their emotions–and how to teach this valuable, life-changing skill of emotional intelligence to the next generation.

Parents are stressed. It’s not uncommon for modern-day pressures and expectations to compromise a parent’s emotional well-being, causing them to lose control of their emotions and lash out.

But when parents let their anger and frustration lead to outbursts, the fallout can have lasting effects on their children, leaving them anxious, insecure, and hurt by the words and actions of their overwhelmed caregivers.

Parents desperately need real, actionable, long-lasting advice that helps them process their emotions in a healthy and productive way. In Parents Have Feelings, Too, psychotherapists Hilary Jacobs Hendel and Juli Fraga provide the tools parents need to understand and effectively work with their own potent feelings, breaking the chain of intergenerational trauma, and passing along emotional intelligence to their children to create a generation of people with emotional regulation skills.

Parents Have Feelings, Too includes the following:

- Practical strategies to help parents process their feelings
- Stories and examples
- Tools that build confidence and emotional know-how in their children
- New approaches that break the intergenerational transfer of trauma so parents can raise emotionally healthier people who can thrive amidst the many challenges of being human in society today
- Expert insights and insight-building exercises that support parents on their emotional journey

Parents have feelings. And when they can identify what they are, where they are coming from, and how to work with them, parents are empowered to help their children understand and navigate their own emotions.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology

336 pages, Paperback

Published September 23, 2025

About the author

Psychotherapist, author and blogger. Spreading the word on how emotions work as a catalyst for healing and positive change.

"It's Not Always Depression, Sometimes It's Shame" https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com...

"The Healing Power of Hugs"
https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com...

Reviews

[Reilly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve read my fair share of parenting books and this one really has that missing piece a lot out there do. It’s as much a parenting book as it really helps you look at yourself as the parent and what you need. Almost like parenting yourself. We all bring our childhoods with us throughout our life, resolved issues or not, but it’s the most obvious when you’re parenting your own child. It was not condescending, it was fair, honest, clear and very thought provoking.
I will be recommending this to anyone who will listen.
The narrators were great. I found the tone very conversational and enlightening.
Thoroughly enjoyed this one and learned a lot.
Thank you NetGalley and Spotify audio for this ALC!

[Marlana Pagano · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a sea of parenting books, this book is a rarity.

Parents Have Feelings Too focuses more on what we, as parents, can change in ourselves, rather than focusing on what we want our children to change. The authors explore how changing our approach to our own emotions and emotional reactions may pave the way for better emotion regulation and emotional intelligence for our offspring as well.

This reads more like a guide to understanding our own core emotions. Including understanding the unique reasons why some defensive behaviors and/or inhibitory emotions may arise more readily in the context of parenting, and how we can use The Change Triangle as a compass to navigate towards a more connected state during those times.

The concept of the 4C’s and The Change Triangle- including defenses, inhibitory emotions and core emotions are heavily referenced throughout the text.

As a therapist and parent, myself, I think I will be recommending this book a lot.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since I had my kids the hardest thing I've had to work on wasn't diaper changing or sleepless nights, but managing emotions. Specially my own. As most millennials, I wasn't raised being aware of emotions, or modeled by my parents. I was raised to keep them hidden and controlled. So, since I had my kids, I've been working in learning about dealing with emotions in a healthy and respectful way.

Parents have feelings, too, got me from the title. It is a very useful and practical tool to learn in detail about emotions, where they come from and how they manifest in daily life. It contains examples and models in a sort of role play how the emotions show in real life and how to deal with them in a healthy way. There's also journaling prompts that are very helpful.

I would recommend this book to every parent interested in learning about emotions for themselves and their children.

Thanks to netgalley for this copy for review.

[Sarah]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really appreciated that one of the authors is a clinical social worker–that lens is often missing in parenting books, and it brings a grounded, emotionally intelligent approach that really stood out. I don’t have kids myself, but I work closely with youth, families, and family systems, and this still felt deeply applicable to my work and understanding of emotional dynamics.

The audiobook was pleasant and easy to follow, with insights that felt both compassionate and practical. And like several other reviewers mentioned, I can see myself wanting a physical copy too – there are so many prompts and reflections I’d love to mark up and sit with more slowly.

Overall, this is a thoughtful, affirming guide for understanding your own emotional landscape as a parent, or as someone who works with parents and kids. I’m glad I listened.

Thank you NetGalley and Alcove Press for the eARC.

[peppkorn_reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Parenting is hard. And it’s especially hard because it stirs up so many emotions. I’m always curious about how to navigate this phase of my life, and when I came across this book, I couldn’t just pass it by.
It offers a mix of theory, real-life examples, thoughtful prompts, and reflections to help you better understand yourself and manage your emotions. Human psychology is complex, but with the right tools, I believe we all can thrive.
This book explores the roots of certain emotional reactions, teaches you how to recognize your feelings,and helps guide you through them.
I loved the audiobook, the narrator was pleasant and easy to listen to, but if you want to pause, reflect, and take your time answering the questions, I’d recommend reading the physical book or ebook alongside.

Thank you NetGalley and Alcove Press for the eARC, and Spotify Audiobooks for the ALC!

[Kristin Wong · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for parents — especially new parents, who are learning to help their child navigate big feelings while simultaneously battling with their own. It's thorough but easy to read — a perfect mix of stories, data, and actionable advice. Engaging and accessible, it offers real hope in the messy, beautiful chaos of early parenthood. I’ll be recommending it to every parent I know, and to friends without kids, too. I would have benefitted from reading it long before I became a parent.

[Brandon Doyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good read that provides parents with the tools to bring up their children without the ‘traumas’ that they grew up with. Very simple techniques with detailed examples on how to properly understand your emotions in order to regulate them and help your child regulate theirs. A book that will be referenced through all stages of life.

[Lisa Luna Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compassionate, practical, and deeply wise guide for parents navigating the emotional complexities of raising children.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a compassionate and comprehensive guide for parents. I was impressed with its scope, which covers core & inhibitory emotions and how parents can respond in ways that build resilience (not hurt) in our children. I also appreciate the authors’ willingness to share their stories and provide specific examples to illustrate points. The audiobook narrator was also fantastic, but I probably want a paper copy of the book to annotate and add copious sticky notes.

There were, however, some aspects of the book that didn’t resonate with me (some strategies didn’t feel realistic for in-the-moment dealing with toddler tantrums; almost *everything* is blamed on family of origin; parents are asked to consider “How important it is to ‘win’” - which feels like a poor choice of words when parents are responsible to help children learn appropriate behavior). But the authors are experienced psychologists and more seasoned parents than I am.

Overall, even though I’m going to take a few things with a grain of salt, this is a very good resource for parents!

Thank you to NetGalley and Spotify Audiobooks for free early access to the audiobook. I post this review with my honest opinions.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Parents Have Feelings, Too will quickly become your new practical, hands-on guide for navigating both your own emotional needs and your child’s, especially in the messy, complicated road of parenting. This book does not just name the patterns or triggers that show up in our daily lives. It helps you truly see them. Even better, it offers grounded, actionable techniques for understanding, feeling, and responding to your own emotions with intention.

I found it incredibly valuable to move through this book one chapter per week and apply the lessons in real time. That rhythm gave me space to practice the tools, reflecting on my reactions, slowing down my responses, and learning how to show up with more calm and clarity.

This is a resource every parent can benefit from, but it extends far beyond parenting. At its heart, this book is about emotional awareness, resilience, and the way we relate to the people in our lives. It is a powerful guide for all of us as we learn, grow, and live in community with one another.