Understanding Your Attachment Style: The Path to Overcoming Unhelpful Patterns and Building Healthy, Secure Relationships

by Marc Cameron

From a licensed marriage and family therapist, this empathetic book is the key to achieving secure relationships with your loved ones and breaking away from painful patterns. Our individual attachment style plays a crucial role in the quality of our relationships and is often the strongest predictor of how secure and connected we feel with others. Yet, many people remain unaware of their own attachment style—let alone how to shift from an unhealthy style to one that fosters safer, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships. Fortunately, awareness around attachment theory has grown significantly in the past decade. As this framework becomes increasingly central to modern mental health discussions, Marc Cameron is emerging as a leading voice in bringing this awareness. Marc and his wife, Amy, have taken up the mantle of leading the How We Love brand, the organization founded by renowned attachment experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Building on the foundation of their groundbreaking book How We Love (with over 400,000 copies sold), Marc helps readers uncover and understand the attachment style they developed in childhood. In this book, Cameron thoroughly explains each attachment style and provides easy methods for readers to self-identify with theirs. He offers clear, practical steps for moving toward a secure attachment style, providing the insight and direction so many are seeking to improve both their inner lives and relationships. Understanding Your Attachment Style will not only help you understand your attachment style but also guide you in overcoming barriers associated with each style so that you can enjoy the healthy, loving connections you were designed for.

260 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 2, 2025

Reviews

[Mahnoor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC! This book is seriously one of the most eye-opening books for me. I love to dive down into books that are based on attachment styles, especially when I hear a lot of my friends telling me that they feel like their relationships are stuck on a miserable loop, or that they keep attracting the same exact toxic type of person who’s a chaotic, confusing type. Now I finally have another book to recommend to them when I want them to focus on attachment styles.

What struck me most is how Cameron, in this book, handles the “unhelpful patterns” angle. I know people who, just because they know the names of the styles, assume they know everything about them. This book is about making you realise why some people just can’t see their own toxicity. You know those people who are so committed to their drama that they genuinely think they’re hot-and-cold, avoidant games are just “being independent” or “complex”? This book rips the lid off that and clearly defines what that behaviour is, a self-sabotaging, immature strategy.

This book is invaluable for those who’ve dealt with confusing or manipulative people. It explains that the only real complexity is in the manipulator’s actions, clearing away the confusion to empower the reader.

The real beauty in this book is the focus on transition. Cameron gives us practical steps to ditch the drama and actively move towards secure attachment. I’d recommend this to anyone who is done making excuses for chaos and is ready to establish high standards and secure boundaries. An absolutely essential read for turning self-awareness into genuine, unshakeable strength. I loved it!

[Tia's Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received Understanding Your Attachment Style, by Marc Cameron, for free in exchange for an honest review. This book is a fascinating read! Written by a marriage and family therapist, it is full of practical examples to help us better understand the concepts being taught.

The author introduces us to how our brains work in our relationships and how we attach to people. This starts with how we learn to attach to our caregivers. That carries over to how we connect with others throughout life and will affect how our children will connect with others.

Marc Cameron also explains in easy-to-understand language the 6 attachment styles with examples of each. This includes a secure attachment, and 5 insecure attachments. I like that he doesn’t stop at just explaining the attachment styles. He describes the difference between guilt and shame, and delves into anger and how it’s covering up deeper emotions that need recognized. He gives us practical steps to take to become a “Secure Connector” and warns us of things that may prevent us from making progress.

This is a book for you if you have an interest in learning more about yourself and why people are the way they are in relationships. Each chapter has reflection questions at the end. You will likely find yourself challenged, like I did, to put in the work of having secure attachments. I recommend reading this book. I plan to read it a few more times to better understand my attachment style and measure any progress being made.

[Shayla Jordan · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is informative in its discussion of attachment styles, but it was not a reading experience I enjoyed, nor is it one I would recommend. The prologue, written by a scholar whose earlier work the author claims to be extending, attempts to situate the reader in the research. However, the framing feels odd: the scholar essentially indicates that the author is “taking over” his work and that this book represents the continuation of research he himself is no longer pursuing. Rather than grounding the reader, this introduction left me unsure of the book’s scholarly positioning from the start.

While the information presented is at times helpful, the book’s structure is difficult to follow. Sections are not clearly defined, and it is often unclear which attachment style—or what aspect of an attachment style—the author is discussing in a given chapter. This lack of organization made the book feel disjointed and unnecessarily confusing.

What I found most frustrating, however, was the absence of engagement with current scholarship and foundational research on attachment theory. As a researcher, I find it essential to acknowledge prior studies, established terminology, and the broader academic conversation. The author rarely references earlier work or employs common language associated with attachment styles (such as anxious or avoidant), which made it difficult to understand what new contributions, if any, this book was offering.

Overall, although the topic itself is valuable, the book’s lack of structure and limited engagement with existing research significantly undermined its usefulness

[Reading With Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading this, I know a little more about attachment. I was interested in this book because I have children who I adopted from foster care and was wondering what their attachment style might be.

It talks about insecure attachments and the types- I never thought about breaking down attachments into sub groups. The pace of the book, was slow for me, for it's nonfiction so I expected it to be. But I loved the reflection questions at the end of each chapter. The questions weren't questions to make you think about something in the book, but to relate that chapter to your life and your past. By doing this, it was truly possible to help identify the styles.

I do like the format of the book. Most of the chapters begin with a story, and then it goes into the education, and it relates back to that story from the beginning of the chapter so you can connect it to a real experience. There are headings that are easy to notice and fits well with the topics. Overall, it's a good book that helps people understand who they are better, and maybe their loved ones better as well.

Thank you Worthy Publishing for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[Chantéll Geldenhuys · Rating 3 out of 5]

First of all, I would like to thank NetGalley, Marc Cameron & Worthy Publishing for the early reader opportunity!

In Understanding Your Attachment Style, Marc Cameron takes the complexity out of attachment theory and turns it into a roadmap for healing. The book is full of clear, practical steps to help transform your relationships.

As an Anxiously Attached person who's busy healing my attachment style, this book did give me not only the tools to put it to practice, but I learned a thing or two more about myself. You can only see another person as deep as you've already seen yourself. And this book did just that.

I found the reflective questions were a good addition to break up all the information, with just the right amount of questions not to make it feel like an exam paper.

I however felt like I knew most of what was written, and therefore I'm giving it a full 3 stars. To those who haven't jumped down the attachment style rabbit hole, I would recommend this book as a starting point.

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book was more useful in understanding how we attach and why my own attachment style is as it is. To be faced with a plain faced explanation of some of the worst parts of yourself can be quite confronting even if those are long passed.

I almost gave up on this book, it was interesting but needed the quiet reflection to process. Coming back to it was a coming back to self and the persistence it takes to face these elements of yourself in order to grow.

In persevering, we can understand ourselves better and develop secure attachment. In the last few chapters, Cameron discusses how progress is linear. In accepting your attachment style, you can see how far you may have come or need to go.

Camerons explanations were clear, direct and easy to see in the self and in others. He gives contextual clues and guidance questions which give structured and encouraging ways to develop your own understanding of thought patterns and behaviours.

Overall, i'm glad i picked up this book again and I will most likely revisit again and again.

[Kevin Luu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks Worthy Publishing for the early reader opportunity. Having read several books on attachment theory and being very familiar with the 4 attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, fearful and secure), I think this book provides a breath of fresh air in the sense that it describes attachment in a different perspective (pleasers, vacillators, avoiders, and controllers).

I also very much appreciate the idea that Cameron presented that a way to heal from your past is to work on your self-image and frame your story with a narrative that makes sense to you.

Only critique is that the examples/stories found in the book feel surface level and I couldn’t really connect with the characters. Overall, a good book if you’re wanting to do some self-reflection and inner work!!

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know a bit about attachment styles and although I found this interesting it didn’t quite click with me. There were a few too many case studies for my liking and I didn’t feel it went quite deep enough. I didn’t have enough there to identify where I fitted in the mix - the explanations were quite general. I think it’s a good introduction to the topic if it’s something you are interested in. Thanks to NetGalley and Worthy Books for the ARC.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books that I have read on emotional wellness. I love all of the different, very accurate situational environments that were described. Reading it feels one of the best therapy months in one well written book. This is a must read for anyone who has relationships with people who have a lot of caregiver wounds and navigating empathy with them.

[Gentry Thomson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was hard for me to connect to and be interested in. I almost wanted a much deeper dive into the different types of attachment styles and less random examples. Could be that I’m just not in the place where this makes sense for me yet and could be something I pick up again later on.

[krystal-nikkol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NET Galley for the opportunity to read this book in advance. This was one of my favourite relationship/attachment books i have read. It was very informative and yet not overwhelming with the information. It's written so anyone can pick it up and understand the concepts and examples given. I love reading books and discovering new concepts or same ideas presented in different ways.

[BookwormBraggings · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for figuring out your attachment style and why people get themselves in the same types of relationships over and over. There is some good information on how to cut the drama and be more secure in one's relationships.