Healing as a Couple When You Both Have Trauma: Skills to Regulate Emotions, Identify Triggers, and Thrive Together in Your Relationship

by Aimee Daramus PsyD

Trauma can negatively influence all aspects of a relationship. These difficulties can manifest in a number of symptoms, including fear of rejection or abandonment, unhealthy boundaries, or an inability to accept love. Being in a relationship with a fellow trauma survivor multiplies these challenges, making it even harder to articulate and fulfill one another's needs. What you both need is a safe space to heal and build a thriving relationship—together.

In this powerful guide, a clinical psychologist and trauma expert synthesizes proven-effective therapies to bring immediate, trauma-informed relief to couples who share the collective weight of suffering. Working together, you'll develop emotion regulation skills for cultivating a relationship built on mutual safety, trust, and togetherness. As you acknowledge your commonality, you'll become more comfortable and compassionate toward each other. You'll also pick up skills to protect you both against common perils like anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and sexual dysfunction.

By understanding one another's struggles, you and your partner will gain a new perspective on your relationship, enabling you both to truly connect and begin the healing process. If you're ready to transcend your trauma and cultivate the relationship you desire, download this audiobook and start your journey together.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction

192 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2025

Reviews

[Eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclosure: I received an advance review copy of Healing as a Couple When You Both Have Trauma from New Harbinger Publications via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

As both my husband and I live with PTSD, I was immediately drawn to Dr. Daramus's compassionate guide to navigating trauma within relationships. This book is well written and carefully researched, offering not just explanations of how trauma manifests in couples but also practical, trauma-informed tools to foster safety and connection. What stood out most to me was how the authors balance clinical insight with accessible strategies that feel both realistic and hopeful.

The book highlights essential themes such as the ways trauma shapes boundaries, attachment, and intimacy, as well as the need for mutual compassion when both partners carry similar wounds. Particularly valuable are the sections on identifying triggers and building emotional regulation skills. These are tools we have already started incorporating into our daily lives. The advice is clear and actionable, and we have noticed improvements in how we manage our responses and avoid unintentionally triggering each other. The discussion of attachment styles also provided meaningful perspective, giving us new language to better understand our dynamics.

More than just theory, this guide equips couples with immediate skills to strengthen their relationship against common challenges like anxiety, depression, and mistrust. It left me feeling motivated and hopeful, reassured that healing is not only possible but sustainable when approached with care and shared commitment.

I would recommend this book wholeheartedly to couples who are working through trauma together. Whether you are newly navigating these challenges or further along in your journey, the skills and perspective offered here can be transformative.

[Alysha Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Healing as a Couple When You Both Have Trauma by Aimee Daramus
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4/5)

Aimee Daramus offers an insightful and encouraging guide for couples navigating trauma in Healing as a Couple When You Both Have Trauma. Covering a wide range of topics, the book not only helps readers understand trauma but also offers practical skills for managing its effects within relationships.

As someone with PTSD who is recently married, I found this book invaluable. Daramus thoughtfully explains how trauma may present differently for each person and why those with trauma might be drawn to each other. I particularly appreciated the chapter on attachment styles and how they can impact relationships—this section truly resonated with me. Additionally, the chapter outlining simple, practical skills for immediate relief was the most helpful and applicable to my own life.

This psychology-backed guide is not just informative but also genuinely hopeful. It’s an excellent resource for anyone working through their trauma or supporting a partner who is. I’ve already highlighted numerous passages to discuss with my partner and our couples therapist, as this book inspired meaningful conversations about our journey together.

Thank you to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.