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Horrors of The Shopping Mall Ass Slasher
In the summer of 1987, StarBright Shopping Mall is the place to be—until a masked killer with a bizarre fixation on butts turns it into a slaughtering ground. As the booty count rises, panic spreads faster than parachute pants on an ironing board.
With a mix of laugh-out-loud humor and spine-chilling terror, this book will keep you on the edge of your seat, wondering, “Why did anyone write this?” and “Is my butt truly safe?”
With a mix of laugh-out-loud humor and spine-chilling terror, this book will keep you on the edge of your seat, wondering, “Why did anyone write this?” and “Is my butt truly safe?”
- GenresHorror
208 pages, Paperback
Published January 8, 2025
23 people are currently reading
145 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
May 25, 2025
Stop what you’re doing. Look at this cover. LOOK AT IT WITH YOUR EYES. When you regain consciousness from being enraptured by its beauty, let me know. What we are witnessing here is a new standard of book cover perfection. It’s all downhill from here. The back cover is great too, but what’s even more sensational is what sits between those book cheeks. Reading the synopsis, even I was wondering how R.J. was going to pull this off. Well, that’s what I get for thinking. I’ll never doubt Benetti ever again because he 👏🏽 did 👏🏽 that and he put his ass into it. 👏🏽
Quick synopsis:
It’s the 80’s again! Back when malls were a thing & herds of puffy-haired, puffier-clothed humans gathered around them like watering holes with food courts. The mall-goer of yore had no known natural predators, that is, until the Ass-Slasher reared their masked head. Filleting fannies left & right, what used to be a shopper’s playground has become a tortured tohkes terror. Now it’s up to a motley crew of mall cops to put their asses on the line & find out who the slasher is, before their hams get sliced.
I don’t like to make bold/grandiose statements, but R.J. Benetti is a genius & I want to be just like him when I grow up. From the conception, to the cover, to the minute details, the absurdity, the prose, the puns, the delivery, the lore, the lighthearted mood throughout juxtaposed with the nauseating depravity? It’s everything I could have hoped for in a book but never would have known to ask for. It’s perfection. When future civilizations dig through the rubble of our toppled empires, I want them to find a copy of Horrors of the Shopping Mall: Ass Slasher & wonder what the fuck??? It will be hard to top this one folks. Benetti is the eternal tough act to follow, which is why I am forever grateful that he went after me in the last Grossout Contest. Highly recommend this one to all for a laugh out loud & face-scrunched good time.
Quick synopsis:
It’s the 80’s again! Back when malls were a thing & herds of puffy-haired, puffier-clothed humans gathered around them like watering holes with food courts. The mall-goer of yore had no known natural predators, that is, until the Ass-Slasher reared their masked head. Filleting fannies left & right, what used to be a shopper’s playground has become a tortured tohkes terror. Now it’s up to a motley crew of mall cops to put their asses on the line & find out who the slasher is, before their hams get sliced.
I don’t like to make bold/grandiose statements, but R.J. Benetti is a genius & I want to be just like him when I grow up. From the conception, to the cover, to the minute details, the absurdity, the prose, the puns, the delivery, the lore, the lighthearted mood throughout juxtaposed with the nauseating depravity? It’s everything I could have hoped for in a book but never would have known to ask for. It’s perfection. When future civilizations dig through the rubble of our toppled empires, I want them to find a copy of Horrors of the Shopping Mall: Ass Slasher & wonder what the fuck??? It will be hard to top this one folks. Benetti is the eternal tough act to follow, which is why I am forever grateful that he went after me in the last Grossout Contest. Highly recommend this one to all for a laugh out loud & face-scrunched good time.
April 16, 2025
Firstly, this is the cutest little book ever, it fits nice and snug in your back pocket, I suggest you buy two copies as protection from any Ass Slasher's out there, one for each cheek! 😊
Ok, so why would someone slash peoples asses? I hear you ask, what possible reason could there be for such a pointless and horrific act? Well, let Benetti tell you as he delves into the twisted mind of our very own ass slasher..
Told from the ass slasher's point of view, we get right inside his head and it'll leave you grimacing from the very first page.
Our MC is a bit of an ass man, in search of the perfect butt, the cleanest, bloody butt he can find, but he has to get through a lot of rump to reach his goal.
This is a hilarious slasher, with dark undertones and a vivid trip back to the 80s, (or so I imagine because of course, I wasn't around in the 80s 🤷♀️😉) There's also a lot of depth to this story, alongside the horrors and humour.
Benetti's writing is always so engaging, always a bl(ass)t, and he ups the ante every single time! Now making THIS my new fave! It's like a bizarre, fever dream filled with blood, butt's, and an abundance of neon and hairspray.
Benetti's brilliantly quick witted and dark humour shines throughout, oh and it gets vile, oh so very vile…
A kind of poetic narrative that's fast paced, vivid, and so much fun, I was howling with laughter equally as much as I was throwing up in my mouth! 😂🤢
This cute little book packs a buttload of punch!
Oh, and please don't forget, "Cleanliness is next to godliness". 🍑
Ok, so why would someone slash peoples asses? I hear you ask, what possible reason could there be for such a pointless and horrific act? Well, let Benetti tell you as he delves into the twisted mind of our very own ass slasher..
Told from the ass slasher's point of view, we get right inside his head and it'll leave you grimacing from the very first page.
Our MC is a bit of an ass man, in search of the perfect butt, the cleanest, bloody butt he can find, but he has to get through a lot of rump to reach his goal.
This is a hilarious slasher, with dark undertones and a vivid trip back to the 80s, (or so I imagine because of course, I wasn't around in the 80s 🤷♀️😉) There's also a lot of depth to this story, alongside the horrors and humour.
Benetti's writing is always so engaging, always a bl(ass)t, and he ups the ante every single time! Now making THIS my new fave! It's like a bizarre, fever dream filled with blood, butt's, and an abundance of neon and hairspray.
Benetti's brilliantly quick witted and dark humour shines throughout, oh and it gets vile, oh so very vile…
A kind of poetic narrative that's fast paced, vivid, and so much fun, I was howling with laughter equally as much as I was throwing up in my mouth! 😂🤢
This cute little book packs a buttload of punch!
Oh, and please don't forget, "Cleanliness is next to godliness". 🍑
August 6, 2025
A Horror Bookworm Recommendation
Horrors Of The Shopping Mall Ass Slasher by R.J. Benetti
https://horrorbookwormreviews.com/
Derived from his Mother’s conditioning, a deranged man is obsessed with ass cleanliness. It’s the summer of 1987, and the shoppers of Star Bright Shopping Mall are in a panic. Among the trendy kiosks, an X-Acto knife wielding prowler awaits his next victim. Carrying childhood trauma, the masked ass slasher is on the loose. No leads and no motives, it’s up to the mall-security, local police and plain-clothes officers to capture the maniac. “Who will survive and what will be left of them?”
Horrors Of The Shopping Mall Ass Slasher is R.J. Benetti’s most recent m-ass-terpiece. Deriving from a true story, Benetti dives into the main character’s obsession with sawed off big booties stapled to mannequins. Adding to the unsettling human suffering, these seemingly real-life events establishes a sense of unease for the reader. Cheeks and backdoor buns combined with creepy “slice and dice action” is what enhances the bloodthirsty rectal ring of violence within this full length novel. (cue Fat Bottom Girls)
Spandex, leg-warmers, scrunchies and neon signs, Benetti successfully captures the essence of the 80’s in his own Troma type horror flick. His derrière desecration of candied yams are both otherworldly and unimaginable. Benetti’s writing style shines with repugnant allure, gory tension and mind-reeling energy. I honestly can not get enough of this author. Warning: crimes against Badonka-donks are committed within these pages. However, no badinky-dinks were harmed. (cue The Thong Song)
Not since the movies Maniac and Pieces have there been an abundance of naked mannequins and childhood trauma resulting in chaotic carnage. Favorite quote, “Whoever is doing this is a predator. They come to the mall with a predit-card.” I want to leave the reader with one last piece of advice from this award nominated author, R.J. Benetti…turning the other cheek can be a horrible decision. A five star ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Horror Bookworm Recommendation. (cue Baby Got Back)
Horrors Of The Shopping Mall Ass Slasher by R.J. Benetti
https://horrorbookwormreviews.com/
Derived from his Mother’s conditioning, a deranged man is obsessed with ass cleanliness. It’s the summer of 1987, and the shoppers of Star Bright Shopping Mall are in a panic. Among the trendy kiosks, an X-Acto knife wielding prowler awaits his next victim. Carrying childhood trauma, the masked ass slasher is on the loose. No leads and no motives, it’s up to the mall-security, local police and plain-clothes officers to capture the maniac. “Who will survive and what will be left of them?”
Horrors Of The Shopping Mall Ass Slasher is R.J. Benetti’s most recent m-ass-terpiece. Deriving from a true story, Benetti dives into the main character’s obsession with sawed off big booties stapled to mannequins. Adding to the unsettling human suffering, these seemingly real-life events establishes a sense of unease for the reader. Cheeks and backdoor buns combined with creepy “slice and dice action” is what enhances the bloodthirsty rectal ring of violence within this full length novel. (cue Fat Bottom Girls)
Spandex, leg-warmers, scrunchies and neon signs, Benetti successfully captures the essence of the 80’s in his own Troma type horror flick. His derrière desecration of candied yams are both otherworldly and unimaginable. Benetti’s writing style shines with repugnant allure, gory tension and mind-reeling energy. I honestly can not get enough of this author. Warning: crimes against Badonka-donks are committed within these pages. However, no badinky-dinks were harmed. (cue The Thong Song)
Not since the movies Maniac and Pieces have there been an abundance of naked mannequins and childhood trauma resulting in chaotic carnage. Favorite quote, “Whoever is doing this is a predator. They come to the mall with a predit-card.” I want to leave the reader with one last piece of advice from this award nominated author, R.J. Benetti…turning the other cheek can be a horrible decision. A five star ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Horror Bookworm Recommendation. (cue Baby Got Back)
June 8, 2025
Very dumb and nothing special
January 9, 2025
This is officially my favorite Benetti book yet!!! I am fully obsessed. This book goes so hard from cover to cover. It’s absolutely brilliant. Top tier writing and further proof of why everyone needs more Benetti in their life. 🤌🏼
I was in the worst mood when I started this book, and when I tell you it turned me around completely… I actually noted it. 😅
This might be the most wild book description I’ve ever given, lmao… but hear me out... Late 80s mall cops meets Super Troopers (just go with it 😂) meets 80’s slasher vibes. Then a bizarre second/first person POV, which is just completely fucking unhinged and indescribable. I know that sounds crazy, and that’s because it is. In the best way possible. 😂
Benetti is in a league of his own with an unmatched way of telling a story.
I was in the worst mood when I started this book, and when I tell you it turned me around completely… I actually noted it. 😅
This might be the most wild book description I’ve ever given, lmao… but hear me out... Late 80s mall cops meets Super Troopers (just go with it 😂) meets 80’s slasher vibes. Then a bizarre second/first person POV, which is just completely fucking unhinged and indescribable. I know that sounds crazy, and that’s because it is. In the best way possible. 😂
Benetti is in a league of his own with an unmatched way of telling a story.
April 12, 2025
First off, by way of disclosure, I will state I've read many books by R.J. Benetti. I know what I’m getting, or at least I thought I did.
The opening of Ass Slasher made me sit back and think to myself, “Hang on; he’s doing something different!” The important thing here is Ass Slasher isn’t different for the sake of it; it twists the narrative from the start, delivering a level of intrigue and a tease of something unusual. It almost disorientates to a point where you feel like you’re peeping into someone’s darkness, and you shouldn’t be.
However, for me, the real strength of Ass Slasher comes from R.J.’s use of language. Despite part of the subject matter being crude and vile, he paints the images with a lyrical beauty, an almost poetic weaving of words that allows you to feel every detail, to smell it, to taste it. If it was not for the subject matter, this book would be (should be) taught in schools to show how the power of words can place the reader’s nose right in the middle of the situation.
The characters are sublime, and created with a panache which I found reminiscent of John Kennedy Toole’s A Confederacy of Dunces. Despite the obvious flaws and weaknesses and the many players in Ass Slasher, I couldn’t help but love the delusional fools.
And the twist? I knew it was coming, but I sort of forget about it. R.J. weaves an enchanting cloak of deception and misdirection throughout the pages, and it resulted in me not seeing the obvious, not seeing what I already knew and he’d already told me in the narrative, so when all was revealed, I could only sit, nod my head, and chastise myself for refusing to accept things as they really were.
As I said at the start, I’ve read many of R.J.’s books, but this is a new level, a pinnacle of his ability and voice. If you’ve read it, you’ll understand my delight. If you haven’t, then you really don’t deserve to have eyes.
The opening of Ass Slasher made me sit back and think to myself, “Hang on; he’s doing something different!” The important thing here is Ass Slasher isn’t different for the sake of it; it twists the narrative from the start, delivering a level of intrigue and a tease of something unusual. It almost disorientates to a point where you feel like you’re peeping into someone’s darkness, and you shouldn’t be.
However, for me, the real strength of Ass Slasher comes from R.J.’s use of language. Despite part of the subject matter being crude and vile, he paints the images with a lyrical beauty, an almost poetic weaving of words that allows you to feel every detail, to smell it, to taste it. If it was not for the subject matter, this book would be (should be) taught in schools to show how the power of words can place the reader’s nose right in the middle of the situation.
The characters are sublime, and created with a panache which I found reminiscent of John Kennedy Toole’s A Confederacy of Dunces. Despite the obvious flaws and weaknesses and the many players in Ass Slasher, I couldn’t help but love the delusional fools.
And the twist? I knew it was coming, but I sort of forget about it. R.J. weaves an enchanting cloak of deception and misdirection throughout the pages, and it resulted in me not seeing the obvious, not seeing what I already knew and he’d already told me in the narrative, so when all was revealed, I could only sit, nod my head, and chastise myself for refusing to accept things as they really were.
As I said at the start, I’ve read many of R.J.’s books, but this is a new level, a pinnacle of his ability and voice. If you’ve read it, you’ll understand my delight. If you haven’t, then you really don’t deserve to have eyes.
April 30, 2025
StarBright shopping mall was the place to be in '87! It was busy, full of shops and entertainment, and so much more. It was safe until a masked crazy man entered it and started slashing asses. Big, juicy asses to be exact.
All the StarBright mall cops, employees, and the local cops are on watch to catch this crazy man but come up empty handed. More asses are slashed with zero leads on the killer. Nova Rivers is a pop icon. She and her group are scheduled to perform at the mall on the 4th of July, but they're also on edge with this new killer. But the show must go on. Together, all these characters have one thing in common, catch the killer before he slashes their ass.
This was such a fun horror comedy! So much nostalgia in here. From the music, to the clothes, and the humour, this was a very fun read! Nova Rivers was resilient, and she sung until the very end! Being in the head of the slasher was also very fun! I liked how Benetti wrote the slashers POV and you kinda feel for him because of the sinister voices he hears on a daily. If you enjoy dark humour with some slashin, you need to read this! Such a fun read!
All the StarBright mall cops, employees, and the local cops are on watch to catch this crazy man but come up empty handed. More asses are slashed with zero leads on the killer. Nova Rivers is a pop icon. She and her group are scheduled to perform at the mall on the 4th of July, but they're also on edge with this new killer. But the show must go on. Together, all these characters have one thing in common, catch the killer before he slashes their ass.
This was such a fun horror comedy! So much nostalgia in here. From the music, to the clothes, and the humour, this was a very fun read! Nova Rivers was resilient, and she sung until the very end! Being in the head of the slasher was also very fun! I liked how Benetti wrote the slashers POV and you kinda feel for him because of the sinister voices he hears on a daily. If you enjoy dark humour with some slashin, you need to read this! Such a fun read!
May 26, 2025
I love a good 80's slasher but this one really delivered. Benetti had me cringing, laughing and questioning my sanity throughout reading this one. I truly had an ASStastic time XD
Horrors of The Shopping Mall Ass Slasher follows a masked crazy man who is slashing asses at the mall. Yes, he is an ass slasher. He is completed fixated on big, juicy and plump rear ends. Meanwhile, all of the mall employees and local police force are on the hunt to track down this guy.
So much nostaliga in this one! I absolutely loved it. I enjoyed reading from the POV of the slasher and the voices inside of his head. Perfect for horror comedy lovers who enjoy their share of dark humor. Highly recommend this one! The afterword had me completely shocked btw. What the actual f? lol.
Horrors of The Shopping Mall Ass Slasher follows a masked crazy man who is slashing asses at the mall. Yes, he is an ass slasher. He is completed fixated on big, juicy and plump rear ends. Meanwhile, all of the mall employees and local police force are on the hunt to track down this guy.
So much nostaliga in this one! I absolutely loved it. I enjoyed reading from the POV of the slasher and the voices inside of his head. Perfect for horror comedy lovers who enjoy their share of dark humor. Highly recommend this one! The afterword had me completely shocked btw. What the actual f? lol.
June 3, 2025
This is the first time I've had the privilege of listening to an R. J. Benetti audiobook and I absolutely loved it! R. J.'s unique style and somewhat absurd plot was perfectly narrated by John Wayne Communale. I spent the majority of my listening time alternating between being grossed out and cackling with laughter. This definitely won't be to everyone's taste, but if you're a Benetti fan, definitely pick this one up.
August 9, 2025
This was a very silly slasher and felt like I was inside the mind of a teenage boy.
June 10, 2025
Man, I loved being a teen in the 80s. It was a glorious time to be alive. The music, the fashion, and the malls. Oh, the wondrous malls were a staple of my youth. Hours and hours walking within its walls, safe and secure. Turns out not all malls are safe and secure. Just ask the folks who went to the Starbright Shopping Mall in the summer of 1987.
They weren't safe and secure. They were in fear. In fear of the……ASS SLASHER.
I have read everything Benetti has put out, and quite frankly, he has yet to disappoint me. Simply put, this is his best work yet. Hands down. The cast of characters was phenomenal. Quirky, weird, and just plain insane. The storytelling is top-notch. It's just fantastic. He is a must-read for any horror enthusiast.
Benetti, the Bob Ross of horror.
5 severed fingers out of 5
October 14, 2025
Listen to this one! Get you some fucking headphones and get the Audible! You can thank me later. John Wayne Comunale knocked it out of the park. And R.J.'s writing is spot on. I was cracking up. Loved everything about this insane story. Perfect!!
Happy Reading and Splatter On.....
Happy Reading and Splatter On.....
November 10, 2025
I first heard about this book at the October 2024 AuthorCon IV Scares That Care event in St. Louis, a few months before the book was released. Benetti was on a panel I’d attended, and after hearing him discuss horror and his upcoming release, I made a mental note to grab a copy when it came out.
One of the things that inspired me, other than hearing that Benetti was the Scares That Care 2022 Gross Out Contest winner, was that the book was inspired by a true story. With that title and that background information, I knew I needed to read it. I did get a chance to say a quick hello to Benetti, who was so nice, after his panel discussion to let him know I was excited to check out his book.
When you start reading the book, you get a warning first thing. And I’d advise you to take it if extreme or gross horror isn’t your cup of tea. There is some humor woven into the acts of violence, but make no mistake: Benetti will do his best to gross you out. After reading this book, my first of his work, I can attest that he is quite skilled at it! The prologue alone is gory, dark, jaw-dropping, and disgusting—and it’s the perfect way to introduce you to this outrageous and thoroughly engaging horror story.
Aside from the gore, this book has a buttload of nostalgia. (Yes, I said it.) I adored the descriptions of the characters. They gave life to the time frame the book is set in so nicely. Not to mention, the chapter graphics and that amazing cover scream the 80s in the best way!
The nods to Top Gun, The Karate Kid, The Golden Girls, and so many more beloved relics from the 80s balance out the gory, filthy scenes so well. If you’ve ever experienced an 80s shopping mall, you will feel right at home. I jotted down a ton of callbacks to that time and numerous moments that I felt were homages to movies and commercials of the decade. Benetti did a fantastic job of bringing that mall and all the characters to life for me.
I don’t do spoilers in my reviews, and I don’t want to ruin any part of this book for potential readers. I will end this by saying how much I adored this story. I’ve been slowly adding more extreme horror to my reading, and this book made me want to dig into even more of Benetti’s work. (See below for two more extreme reviews I’ve written.)
If you love horror, gore, dark humor, and nostalgia, this is the perfect book for you. Grab a seat. (Again, yes, I said it.) Crack open this book. (I can’t stop myself.) And enjoy this one of a kind story. You bet your ass I did.
For more spoiler-free details: https://robinknabel.squarespace.com/r...
One of the things that inspired me, other than hearing that Benetti was the Scares That Care 2022 Gross Out Contest winner, was that the book was inspired by a true story. With that title and that background information, I knew I needed to read it. I did get a chance to say a quick hello to Benetti, who was so nice, after his panel discussion to let him know I was excited to check out his book.
When you start reading the book, you get a warning first thing. And I’d advise you to take it if extreme or gross horror isn’t your cup of tea. There is some humor woven into the acts of violence, but make no mistake: Benetti will do his best to gross you out. After reading this book, my first of his work, I can attest that he is quite skilled at it! The prologue alone is gory, dark, jaw-dropping, and disgusting—and it’s the perfect way to introduce you to this outrageous and thoroughly engaging horror story.
Aside from the gore, this book has a buttload of nostalgia. (Yes, I said it.) I adored the descriptions of the characters. They gave life to the time frame the book is set in so nicely. Not to mention, the chapter graphics and that amazing cover scream the 80s in the best way!
The nods to Top Gun, The Karate Kid, The Golden Girls, and so many more beloved relics from the 80s balance out the gory, filthy scenes so well. If you’ve ever experienced an 80s shopping mall, you will feel right at home. I jotted down a ton of callbacks to that time and numerous moments that I felt were homages to movies and commercials of the decade. Benetti did a fantastic job of bringing that mall and all the characters to life for me.
I don’t do spoilers in my reviews, and I don’t want to ruin any part of this book for potential readers. I will end this by saying how much I adored this story. I’ve been slowly adding more extreme horror to my reading, and this book made me want to dig into even more of Benetti’s work. (See below for two more extreme reviews I’ve written.)
If you love horror, gore, dark humor, and nostalgia, this is the perfect book for you. Grab a seat. (Again, yes, I said it.) Crack open this book. (I can’t stop myself.) And enjoy this one of a kind story. You bet your ass I did.
For more spoiler-free details: https://robinknabel.squarespace.com/r...
January 24, 2025
The slasher is, for many, something like a comfort subgenre. It was popularized in film in the 70s, utilizing familiar tropes over and over and over again to the point where most causal fans can sit in a movie, or to read a book, and give you a note by note expectation of where the plot will go, and many of their guesses will be spot on. I say that as a fan and as one of the many that find a comfort in this well trod ground.
There are a few current day writers that, while embracing those tropes, still strive to do something unique. Obviously Stephen Graham Jones comes to mind. And I would say that another that people should be paying attention to is R.J. Benetti. He obviously has a deep love for the slasher genre, but his books pay tribute to the familiarity while trying something new.
ASS SLASHER is a book for people that love the slasher but want to stretch their familiarity a little further. The title says it all - but you could never expect where it goes. The vulgarity of the story, and the hilarity are really something to behold. Benetti is a comedian, and it shows here - there is
a truly sick sort of humor at play in this book. But there is something truly poetic about the perversion in his stories, including this one. In this book, he utilizes a weird shifting perspective, between third and second person, to such insane effect, that a reader has to close the last page, sit back, and applaud. And probably laugh a bit, too.
If you love the oddball hero, if you love something off kilter, and if you love something unique but familiar, like a hug from a weird grandma you love dearly, this is a book you need.
There are a few current day writers that, while embracing those tropes, still strive to do something unique. Obviously Stephen Graham Jones comes to mind. And I would say that another that people should be paying attention to is R.J. Benetti. He obviously has a deep love for the slasher genre, but his books pay tribute to the familiarity while trying something new.
ASS SLASHER is a book for people that love the slasher but want to stretch their familiarity a little further. The title says it all - but you could never expect where it goes. The vulgarity of the story, and the hilarity are really something to behold. Benetti is a comedian, and it shows here - there is
a truly sick sort of humor at play in this book. But there is something truly poetic about the perversion in his stories, including this one. In this book, he utilizes a weird shifting perspective, between third and second person, to such insane effect, that a reader has to close the last page, sit back, and applaud. And probably laugh a bit, too.
If you love the oddball hero, if you love something off kilter, and if you love something unique but familiar, like a hug from a weird grandma you love dearly, this is a book you need.
February 1, 2025
Look out, ya freaky horrorbles!!! The mad ass slasher is here to slice ‘n dice voluptuous glutes. Those flaunting plump posteriors… take heed! And that goes for EVERYONE, because this unhinged ass coveter does NOT discriminate keisters according to gender! Let your guard slip, and you very well could find yourself on the receiving end of the ass-kissing blade — with a few additional slits carved into your rear! 🙀
Man, this book was a freaking trip. This story was as bizarre as a platypus in a pet shop (just how I like ‘em best!) bolstered by strong prose, spectacular comedy, and of course… assloads of ass slashing!!! 🔪🍑🩸
I loved this book like an ass loves a soft, warm toilet seat, however… there’s some stuff we gotta unpack here. 🧐 So my main gripe… I felt at times like the story was trying too hard to take on a serious tone, perhaps to make things a titch more meaningful? I dunno. But for me, this is a tale about a maniac in a mall slashing open big butts so he/she/they can shove their face into the gashes and brown-nose the rectums — so yeah, just let it go full-tilt off the rails, I say! 😆 Plus, the big “reveal” at the end was a bit of a letdown for me, and one I’m still a little puzzled by. 🤔
BUTT! (😉) All minor brickbats aside, this is a freaking fantastically FUN read, and one I think any horrorphile with a penchant for bloody, cartoonish mayhem should most definitely sink their fangs into. Get ready for the ass lacerating of a lifetime, ya freaky horrorbles — “Horrors of the Shopping Mall Ass Slasher” is comin’ straight for your fanny! 🙀
Man, this book was a freaking trip. This story was as bizarre as a platypus in a pet shop (just how I like ‘em best!) bolstered by strong prose, spectacular comedy, and of course… assloads of ass slashing!!! 🔪🍑🩸
I loved this book like an ass loves a soft, warm toilet seat, however… there’s some stuff we gotta unpack here. 🧐 So my main gripe… I felt at times like the story was trying too hard to take on a serious tone, perhaps to make things a titch more meaningful? I dunno. But for me, this is a tale about a maniac in a mall slashing open big butts so he/she/they can shove their face into the gashes and brown-nose the rectums — so yeah, just let it go full-tilt off the rails, I say! 😆 Plus, the big “reveal” at the end was a bit of a letdown for me, and one I’m still a little puzzled by. 🤔
BUTT! (😉) All minor brickbats aside, this is a freaking fantastically FUN read, and one I think any horrorphile with a penchant for bloody, cartoonish mayhem should most definitely sink their fangs into. Get ready for the ass lacerating of a lifetime, ya freaky horrorbles — “Horrors of the Shopping Mall Ass Slasher” is comin’ straight for your fanny! 🙀
November 21, 2025
Horrors Of The Shopping Mall Ass Slasher 👀
I’ve been listening to so many books recently as I’ve not had the energy to read, so when Benetti messaged me asking if I’d like to listen to this on Audible I snatched up that chance! Oh and what a beauty of a story, it definitely got me out of my funk 😅
It’s the summer of 1987, the place to be is the starbright shopping mall, recently opened. Full to the brim with shops, arcades, food courts & so much more!
Anyone & everyone is there including a psychotic serial killer, unfortunately one that had an abusive upbringing by a mother with an…erm…big juicy butt, which means he’s not just your average killer, no…he’s an ass slasher!! 👀😅
He’s looking for the perfect booty that was just like his mommas. Everyone is in turmoil, those with big butts are not safe!
Omg this was hilarious! I think it was even better in audible as the narration was on point! The singing at the most inappropriate moments & the absolutely unhinged mind of the killer was just perfect!!
I loved the nostalgic vibes so much, it was like a comfort, funny but grim at the same time kinda read 🤣
The fact that this was actually based off a true story just made it all the more brilliant. I absolutely loved it! I really need to read more by RJ, comedy horror is just the best when you’re not feeling yourself!
Thanks again for sending me this RJ 🤎
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I’ve been listening to so many books recently as I’ve not had the energy to read, so when Benetti messaged me asking if I’d like to listen to this on Audible I snatched up that chance! Oh and what a beauty of a story, it definitely got me out of my funk 😅
It’s the summer of 1987, the place to be is the starbright shopping mall, recently opened. Full to the brim with shops, arcades, food courts & so much more!
Anyone & everyone is there including a psychotic serial killer, unfortunately one that had an abusive upbringing by a mother with an…erm…big juicy butt, which means he’s not just your average killer, no…he’s an ass slasher!! 👀😅
He’s looking for the perfect booty that was just like his mommas. Everyone is in turmoil, those with big butts are not safe!
Omg this was hilarious! I think it was even better in audible as the narration was on point! The singing at the most inappropriate moments & the absolutely unhinged mind of the killer was just perfect!!
I loved the nostalgic vibes so much, it was like a comfort, funny but grim at the same time kinda read 🤣
The fact that this was actually based off a true story just made it all the more brilliant. I absolutely loved it! I really need to read more by RJ, comedy horror is just the best when you’re not feeling yourself!
Thanks again for sending me this RJ 🤎
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
June 14, 2025
Take CHOPPING MALL, shake out all the killer robots, and replace them with one blade-wielding masked psycho chopping up cheeks left, right, and twice on Sunday. This is a fun, fast-paced read that would absolutely kill as a cult midnight movie on the film fest circuit.
R.J. Benetti comes at your face nice and hard yet again with one of his best books yet. It features a fantastically drawn cast of characters, especially the ragtag crew of mall security guards tasked with the burden of catching the butt-slashing sicko in the lead-up to a major pop concert spectacular taking place at everyone's favorite locale - the 1980s shopping mall!
Equally light-hearted and dark as pitch, Benetti's latest insane yarn of bodily fluids, asinine characters, and clever wordplay will have you turning each successive page a little faster in hopes of finding out just who the heck is behind the mask. You may not want to find out after all...
If you enjoy schlocky 80s classics like CHOPPING MALL and DEATH SPA combined with the graphic grotesquerie of MANIAC, you're absolutely put HotSMAS on your charge card right along with your latest purchases at Orange Julius and Sam Goody!
R.J. Benetti comes at your face nice and hard yet again with one of his best books yet. It features a fantastically drawn cast of characters, especially the ragtag crew of mall security guards tasked with the burden of catching the butt-slashing sicko in the lead-up to a major pop concert spectacular taking place at everyone's favorite locale - the 1980s shopping mall!
Equally light-hearted and dark as pitch, Benetti's latest insane yarn of bodily fluids, asinine characters, and clever wordplay will have you turning each successive page a little faster in hopes of finding out just who the heck is behind the mask. You may not want to find out after all...
If you enjoy schlocky 80s classics like CHOPPING MALL and DEATH SPA combined with the graphic grotesquerie of MANIAC, you're absolutely put HotSMAS on your charge card right along with your latest purchases at Orange Julius and Sam Goody!
June 19, 2025
Buy it for the cover, read it for the prose.
Seriously, Benetti's writing is electric. I read a piece of writing advice once that said you should always try to write a sentence in such a way that only you could have written it. Benetti is a prime example of this rule.
I mean, look at these passages:
and
and
Fantastic.
Beyond that, this book has a lot of gore and grossness, but also a surprising amount of heart. I grew pretty attached to the characters and found myself really rooting for Doyle, the obese mall cop.
To that end, I wish there had been a little more closure with certain characters. At the same time, I LOVE THE ENDING.
Seriously, Benetti's writing is electric. I read a piece of writing advice once that said you should always try to write a sentence in such a way that only you could have written it. Benetti is a prime example of this rule.
I mean, look at these passages:
A shopping mall. Like pimples, they’d popped up all over America’s big rear-end, pulling the eager citizenry into their greasy sebum pits of debt, of consumerism.
and
Imagine a sauna pumped with coffee breath, cigarette smoke, a dash of donuts, and a spoonful of wet powdered egg. That’s the stench.
and
Bobbie turned, her eyes as big as Henny Penny’s funnel cakes, as wet as the condensation on a freshly poured pint at Hiccup Sauce’s Tavern.
Fantastic.
Beyond that, this book has a lot of gore and grossness, but also a surprising amount of heart. I grew pretty attached to the characters and found myself really rooting for Doyle, the obese mall cop.
To that end, I wish there had been a little more closure with certain characters. At the same time, I LOVE THE ENDING.
January 31, 2025
This was wonderful, from the cover art to the story inside, it was such a freaking blast, its a slasher, of course, but it was more than that too, it was hilarious and chaotic.
This had everything you'd expect or at least what i expected from the cover and title alone, who needed a synopsis??
But we have a mall, called Starbright Mall, and there is a killer loose, the exacto knife killer ( I'm telling you i was SCREAMING ) and the killer has a preference, ladies with a big ass, which lets be honest, who don't?
We have Doyle, who just wants to start his first day at what he thinks is going to be a breeze, spoiler alert, it is not.
Doyle and his fellow guards are the only thing standing between the Slasher, and the slashed, and I'm telling you right now, id be hiding in Bed, Bath and Beyond before i let those jokers protect me .
I absolutely loved this unhinged story, and I hope to see more lol .
This had everything you'd expect or at least what i expected from the cover and title alone, who needed a synopsis??
But we have a mall, called Starbright Mall, and there is a killer loose, the exacto knife killer ( I'm telling you i was SCREAMING ) and the killer has a preference, ladies with a big ass, which lets be honest, who don't?
We have Doyle, who just wants to start his first day at what he thinks is going to be a breeze, spoiler alert, it is not.
Doyle and his fellow guards are the only thing standing between the Slasher, and the slashed, and I'm telling you right now, id be hiding in Bed, Bath and Beyond before i let those jokers protect me .
I absolutely loved this unhinged story, and I hope to see more lol .
July 9, 2025
I’m not even kidding when I say this is one of the best books I have ever read. I bought it initially thinking it was going to be a silly read, but was stunned when I got right hooked by a powerful storyline, descriptive, creative and unique-as-hell writing style, AND characters with depth and personalities that so good I could visually picture them and their mannerisms in my head clear as day.
The book gets better and better through the chapters, with an explosive ending that leaves your mouth open and your mind satisfied.
Benetti is a writing wizard, going the extra mile to add humor to such a chaotic and brutal book without taking it over the top or making it so silly it turns stupid.
I have nothing but compliments about this damn book! I cannot believe it doesn’t have more reads or recognition. I truly hope this book blows up and so does R.J Benetti. He is an author that deserves so much more appreciation.
Keep your buns closed and keep your eyes peeled for the slasher.
The book gets better and better through the chapters, with an explosive ending that leaves your mouth open and your mind satisfied.
Benetti is a writing wizard, going the extra mile to add humor to such a chaotic and brutal book without taking it over the top or making it so silly it turns stupid.
I have nothing but compliments about this damn book! I cannot believe it doesn’t have more reads or recognition. I truly hope this book blows up and so does R.J Benetti. He is an author that deserves so much more appreciation.
Keep your buns closed and keep your eyes peeled for the slasher.
December 18, 2025
VHS slasher nostalgia with a brutal modern edge
Ass Slasher by RJ Benetti is exactly what it promises and then some. This book feels like you found a cursed VHS tape behind the counter at a dying 80s mall and still pressed play.
The setting is pure neon-lit nostalgia, but the horror is sharp, fast, and genuinely unsettling. What surprised me most wasn’t just the kills it was how fun this book is. It knows what it is, leans into the absurdity, and somehow still builds real tension. I found myself laughing one second and cringing the next.
The pacing is relentless, the atmosphere is thick with retro dread, and the slasher energy is unapologetic. If you love mall horror, VHS-era slashers, or books that don’t take themselves too seriously but still deliver, this is a must-read.
Perfect for fans of:
• 80s/90s slasher films
• Mall horror
• Campy but clever gore
• Retro VHS aesthetics
This one stuck with me way longer than I expected.
Ass Slasher by RJ Benetti is exactly what it promises and then some. This book feels like you found a cursed VHS tape behind the counter at a dying 80s mall and still pressed play.
The setting is pure neon-lit nostalgia, but the horror is sharp, fast, and genuinely unsettling. What surprised me most wasn’t just the kills it was how fun this book is. It knows what it is, leans into the absurdity, and somehow still builds real tension. I found myself laughing one second and cringing the next.
The pacing is relentless, the atmosphere is thick with retro dread, and the slasher energy is unapologetic. If you love mall horror, VHS-era slashers, or books that don’t take themselves too seriously but still deliver, this is a must-read.
Perfect for fans of:
• 80s/90s slasher films
• Mall horror
• Campy but clever gore
• Retro VHS aesthetics
This one stuck with me way longer than I expected.
January 10, 2025
Set in the newly opened Starbright mall int the 80’s security guard Doyle Drummond is a middle age security guard who is on his first day on the job. He is overweight and lazy. Thinking this is going to be an easy gig, Doyle has no idea what lies ahead for him.
Unbeknownst to Doyle, the other security guards, employees and mall shoppers lurking amongst them is a x-acto knife killer with an obsession for large ass women.
This 80’s style slasher had me laughing so much. Benetti’s writing style is always so entertaining and this one is no exception. Coming to a shopping mall near you on January 15th!!
Unbeknownst to Doyle, the other security guards, employees and mall shoppers lurking amongst them is a x-acto knife killer with an obsession for large ass women.
This 80’s style slasher had me laughing so much. Benetti’s writing style is always so entertaining and this one is no exception. Coming to a shopping mall near you on January 15th!!
April 20, 2025
What an opening. So to speak. The title of this story was disturbing enough and yet what the creep was doing was a lot worse.
The different povs and narration made the story unusual, yet it flowed really well but it made for an ending where I sat and went #**#.
Parts of this story were of course hilarious; my favourite line being the description of the “smooshed tater tot of a man” and someone who “bore the countenance of a human thumbtack.”
Parts of this story also made me never want to watch tv again.
A well thought out, hilarious and apparently slightly true story.
The slappening is still my favourite though!
The different povs and narration made the story unusual, yet it flowed really well but it made for an ending where I sat and went #**#.
Parts of this story were of course hilarious; my favourite line being the description of the “smooshed tater tot of a man” and someone who “bore the countenance of a human thumbtack.”
Parts of this story also made me never want to watch tv again.
A well thought out, hilarious and apparently slightly true story.
The slappening is still my favourite though!
November 14, 2025
Let me start by saying: I abhor the second-person perspective with the fire of a thousand suns. The only exception to this was the Choose Your Own Adventure books from the 80s and 90s. Then, I read this.
Here's the thing. It actually works in this context. That perspective adds to the absurdity and just makes it even more ridiculous.
This was, by no means, a deep and meaningful novel. Its a slasher that takes place prior to the evolution of Vanilla Ice. The setting was perfect. The kills were disgusting. On the first page, you get a face full of what the rest of the story is going to be. Superb ridiculousness.
Here's the thing. It actually works in this context. That perspective adds to the absurdity and just makes it even more ridiculous.
This was, by no means, a deep and meaningful novel. Its a slasher that takes place prior to the evolution of Vanilla Ice. The setting was perfect. The kills were disgusting. On the first page, you get a face full of what the rest of the story is going to be. Superb ridiculousness.
January 27, 2025
Picture it 1980s big hair, scrunchies rock music, and the grand opening of the Star Bright Mall. Sounds like a great time right? Only problem is that there is an ass slasher on the loose. Innocent shoppers getting their asses slashed open when they least expect it and if that’s not enough, what’s worse is their only defense is a group of mall security officers. Benetti has once again managed to write a hilarious tale with plenty of 80’s vibes and gore. So instead of going to the mall, keep your ass safe and stay at home while reading this . Based on true events !
June 7, 2025
Read on KU.
WTF was this book? Gory, obscene, OVER THE TOP.
A mother’s sexual assault on her son leads to butt slashing.
Two lines made me laugh:
“They want to slice up badonka donks, and certainly not badinky dinks!” Pg 44
“The ass was slashed” pg 19
WTF was this book? Gory, obscene, OVER THE TOP.
A mother’s sexual assault on her son leads to butt slashing.
Two lines made me laugh:
“They want to slice up badonka donks, and certainly not badinky dinks!” Pg 44
“The ass was slashed” pg 19
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 28, 2025
As someone who remembers avoiding the mall for a few months because of a serial butt slasher, this was nothing like the true story! However, it was fun and dumb. I can also say it’s authentically Benetti. Every bit of it is his weird sense of humor, and I loved the book for that.
July 14, 2025
Imagine John Waters had made the movie MANIAC (1980) set in a shopping mall, complete with a cast of outrageous characters who are fated to fall victim to a series of gruesome, ass-related deaths. This book is the most fun you can have without a scalpel.
June 14, 2025
This is the second book R.J. Benetti I've read.And she didn't disappoint me at all!When I read, I got a lot of emotions-laughter and staring eyes.Great slasher! I recommend it!
10 out of 10
10 out of 10
June 17, 2025
So… I went in blind. Bloody. Disgusting. Appalling. And yet I couldn’t stop reading.
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