Black Pills

by Garth Jones

BLACK PILLS is a collection of genre-bending short stories exploring the unmitigated shit show that is our present reality. 

It features seven heroic doses of uncut gonzo fiction, 110% guaranteed to astonish and confound.

💊 RENNIE ‘N ‘RELLE SMASH SOME NAZIS: A ROMANCE
💊 HUGO GARRETT’S EXEMPLARY MOWING TECHNIQUE (Winner, short story, Ronald Hugh Morrieson Literary Award)
💊 THE QUADRATIC ABDUCTIONS OF PRIQUE JEJUNE
💊 THE INSATIABLE SEXUAL WITCHES OF WRIGGLER’S BEND
💊 THE HORIZONTAL BALLERINA
💊 RENTAL HELL!
💊 THE ISSUE OF THE FERAL PIG DOWN AT COFFIN CREEK

Kindle Edition

Published April 1, 2025

About the author

Garth is a writer from Wilyakali country in the deserts of far western New South Wales, Australia – the Mad Max zone.

His first job was designing ads for phone sex lines; he did time as resident Atheist provocateur at a church newspaper, and drew comics for DAVID LEE ROTH just out of uni.

Garth’s first novel, HOME BREWED, VAMPIRE BULLETS, was shortlisted for a variety of prizes. Walkley award winning journalist Richard Cooke reckons “there’s nothing like Home Brewed... – it’s new, weird, and out there, and that makes it too good not to get into!”

Garth's next project, BLACK PILLS, is a collection of genre-bending short fiction exploring the shit show that is our present reality.

It features the Ronald Hugh Morrieson Literary Award winning ‘Hugo Garrett’s Exemplary Mowing Technique’.

PASS THE AMYL, Garth’s Ozploitation segment, appears regularly on comedian Justin Hamilton’s podcast BIG SQUID.

He currently lives on the west coast of Aotearoa with his partner, their kid and a dog named Zodiac Mindwarp.

Reviews

[Dave Musson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aside from being a wonderful, hunky human being, Garth Jones is one heck of a writer. As I’ve mentioned when reviewing his stuff before, his style is something I’ve never read and could only ever dream of writing myself. It’s full of swagger, dark humour, weird stuff and loads more and I can barely take my eyes away from it. So, when he offered me the chance to read his next collection ahead of release I jumped at the chance. And, friends, I’m delighted to say it’s a banger.

Black Pills features seven short stories that not only highlight Jones’ signature moves but also plenty we’ve not seen before. The sarcasm, the gross-outs, the cynical Aussie screw ups are still there…but this time we also see heart, introspection, and a bit of sci-fi stuff too!

Kicking off the collection is Rennie n Relle Smash Some Nazis: a Romance. This is a wild romp of a chase story, featuring two flailing sexagenarians taking down a bunch of bastard cops…they come out swinging, but will they make it?

Next is Hugo Garrett’s Exemplary Mowing Technique (winner, short story Ronald Hugh Morrieson literary awards). While it’s easy to pick out a story that has won a prestigious award as one to laud, I don’t care - this tale is one of the most affecting things I’ve read all year. It’s literary, moving, real, heartbreaking, wonderful, different to Garth’s usual style but I will gladly take more of it if there’s any to come!

The Quadratic Abductions of Prique Jejune is next, a fun and weird story of an MP who keeps getting abducted by aliens, told through the transcript of a TV show. Enjoyable as heck!

Then, The Insatiable Sexual Witches of Wriggler’s Bend, featuring Johnny Platinum from previous works. Any story featuring the line “me and the girls are actual sex witches and would like you to assist us in a powerful jizz ritual” is always worth a look. This is a kind of Aussie nod to Stepford Wives with a rock star, an MP, and a bunch of women who love where they live.

Horizontal Ballerina sees us travel into space on a mission to save the earth. Hackers have infiltrated the big platform built by a Jeff Bezos type that has cured climate change and our main character has to win back control and keep everyone alive, with the help of an AI assistant. This had big Alien vibes and I had a blast.

Rental Hell! was a weird and sad spiralling tale with a dark ending that really worked well for me. Also, it features mentions of psychopomps - something I enjoyed given that the first time I spoke to Garth was about Stephen King’s The Dark Half, which also features those creepy birds.

Finally, we go back to Rennie for the closer of The Issue of the Feral Pig Down at Coffin Creek, which was full-on Garth weirdness and a fine way to wrap this collection up.

Overall, Black Pills oozes class, is bathed in cool, and sneers at you - daring you to open it and let yourself in. It’s Garth’s best work yet, it’s unlike anything else you’ll see an indie author attempting, and it needs to be on your TBR in 2025. Due out on 1 April 2025, don’t miss it!

Thanks to Garth for the early copy in exchange for a review.

[Poppy Gee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Garth Jones stands out in Australia’s writing community as an exciting and energetic avant-garde writer who rips up the rules and produces genre-bending, provocative, action-packed pulp-fiction. His latest short story collection Black Pills: 7 Tales to Astonish and Confound! is smart, lurid and funny, often violent, and delightfully smutty. My first belly laugh occurred as I read First Name, Second Name author Steve MinOn’s foreword. A longtime admirer of Jones’ work, MinOn advises: “You’re in for a ride if you read on. It’s not going to be comfortable, but you’re going to enjoy it. Much like anal sex.”
Either you’ll chuckle at that, or you’ll frown and reach for something slightly more calming like the latest Stephen King.
Jones’ narrative voice is exuberant and confident. In the first story, Rennie and ‘Relle Smash Some Nazis: A Romance, he sets up the scene with whimsical, pleasing brushstrokes. It’s 1975 in a Gold Coast rooftop bar at sunset. Rennie and ‘Relle nurse a Tequila Sunrise and a Gold longneck, ‘choofing away on Marlboro Reds as they stared stoically into the dimming pastel dappled surf’. The peace doesn’t last long – it’s shattered by the commencement of a police staff party. Things spiral kaleidoscopically out of control.
With deft world building in Horizontal Ballerina, Jones imagines an apocalyptic future where Australia is almost uninhabitable. An orbital solar farming platform provides unlimited free, clean, energy after 70 million Europeans died from a heat event. Woven through Rental Hell! and The Quadratic Abductions of Prique Jejune is a biting political skewering that is also as plausible as it is disturbing.
Other stories are harder to describe. The Issue of the Feral Pig Down at Coffin Creek melds crime, science and horror fiction, with unpredictable, entertaining results. Another riveting tale focuses on some school mums who attend a Trivia Night at The Raging Moose Knuckle, a scenario that has an intriguing culmination in The Insatiable Sexual Witches of Wriggler’s Bend.
One story that stands more quietly is the poignant Hugo Garrett’s Exemplary Mowing Techniques, which won the Ronald High Morrieson Literary Award, 2024. It’s about a father and son reflecting on their relationship. I really liked how this one reveals a different, gentler side of Jones’ considerable talents.
For a comparative title, I’d point readers to movies such as Pulp Fiction or Django Unchained, and how Quentin Tarantino ignores the boundaries of audience expectation. Jones’ work is refreshing, there is no one else that sounds like him. The New Zealand-based author doesn’t succumb to the whims of the mainstream publishing industry, instead publishing his work under his fabulously named label Pass the Amyl Press.
Many writers, including myself, strive to write the literary equivalent of popular tunes that might get played on commercial radio. In contrast, Jones’ inventive work equates to something like thrash metal mixed with melodic acoustic guitar riffs layered over Acid Trance, a soundtrack you might hear in a smoky, back-alley bar. It’s a compelling cross-pollination that offers a fresh perspective on a world that is increasingly chaotic. Readers will easily devour this exciting and accomplished collection in one sitting.

[Michael Botur · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came to ‘Black Pills’ because of the review by Denver Grenell on his Beware The Moon Website, promising wild language and wild plots.
I stayed with ‘Black Pills’ because of the cover - which Taranaki NZ author Jones has put a shedload of effort into.

‘Black Pills’ is a slim tome, about as thick as a Rothman's Blue. But that might be a good thing. Men are useless at reading, and we need writing like this to get men to pick up and open books again. 90 percent of males probably assume that literature isn’t a manly way to spend one’s time - so a slim, easy-to-read book with fun typography, story titles you can’t resist (such as ‘Rennie and 'Relle Smash Some Nazis: A romance’) and brief duration should hopefully get blokes excited about reading again (I can’t wait to put this book in the hands of a couple of guys who will love it - I can tell them that the author’s voice is like a pub poet on a barstool with ten VBs and a couple of shots in him telling an unlikely yarn, and you go away to the pisser and come back and he’s still yarning away with an endless supply of creative Outback euphemisms).

Jones brings a lot of manliness back to literature. This is a tough book. That awesome cover and internal layout/design gives us metal, bullets, spikes and pills, and the typography is extremely captivating. Make no mistake - if you love Mad Max, Judge Dredd and Fangoria magazine, you’ll probably love Black Pills, firstly for the way it looks, second for the way the language sounds.

(one note about the book - it has really funky advertisements. I doubt the author will recoup the money spent on the graphic design, but the author needs to know I really appreciate all the artistic effort).

Now, my reviews of the stories:

There are seven brisk tales in here, typically running less than 20 pages.

I will get my negative/critical comments out of the way first.

I found a lot of the characters a bit superficially written - but then again, the back of the book tells us loglines/brief synopses of each story, so the superficiality/farce/shallowness of the characters wasn’t surprising. The characters have farcical names like Prique Jejune, Brian Brain MP and Dr Slab Monsoon, and a lot of the plotlines are farcical. This made me question the ‘heart’ or depth of some stories - stories which cover insatiable sexual witches, bigots, trade unions, police corruption, intoxicants and wild relationships.
Open any random page and you might get hit with a sentence like this on page 127, talking about a ‘Queensland copper’ - “That fugger was cast directly from the original jack-booted spec: bull-shouldered, beer-gutted, slap-headed, with a brow handed directly down from Boris fucken Kalroff, shady porcine eyes set to corrupt.’

The main story I was excited to read was ‘Hugo Garrett’s Exemplary Mowing Technique,’ which was a short fiction winner in the Ronald Hugh Morrieson Literary Awards - which is really fitting, since ‘Came A Hot Friday’ very much shares a flavour/spirit with this book.
Men up to hijinks, men trying to bond, men fighting each other, men tilting at windmills. Morrieson would be proud of Black Pills.

This book has a bit of Kiwi content, I’m not sure what proportion - maybe a third - and perhaps we could say it is two thirds Aussie content.

I want to end by saying Garth Jones is an incredibly original author, every single paragraph is loaded with spice and flavour and eccentricity, and extremely colourful uses of Aussie and Kiwi English. We’re lucky to have this guy writing in NZ and I wish more Kiwi authors were as gutsy as him.

Again - I recommend this book if you want to show reluctant readers that sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll sometimes comes in the form of prose.

[Denver Grenell · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Aussie (transplanted to Aotearoa) author Garth Jones offered me an early look at his latest short story collection Black Pills, I said yes faster than Bob Hawke could sink a yardie (11 seconds apparently).

Having imbibed Garth’s previous books aka the Home Brewed Vampire Bullets trilogy and enjoyed them immensely, I was quietly confident I was in for another wild ride through a heightened, hilarious, surreal and satirical version of Australia (with a brief stopover in New Zealand). Spoiler alert: I was.

Garth’s (presumed) influences seem to range from Ozploitation films, Kurt Vonnegut, Hunter S Thompson and an unhealthy dose of debaucherous Oz rock like AC/DC, Skyhooks et al. But these are just touchstones to help set the scene. Garth has his own voice - wordy and literate but injected with an extra large syringe of larrikin spirit. In other words it will keep you on your toes and put a big ass grin on your dial. Special mention (and top marks) has to be made of his character names with such colourful nom de plumes as Fridge Dunning, Marcus Discharge, Donk Cowie and Old Mangled Jizzy among a plethora of others.

What about the stories you ask? Well, readers of Home Brewed Vampire Bullets will be pleased to catch up with drug-addled ex-rocker Johnny Platinum in The Insatiable Sexual Witches of Wriggler’s Bend, an absolute tear of a yarn featuring excessive drug consumption, biblical floods and indeed the titular sexual witches.

Science fiction rears its head in a number of stories, though that head has been reconfigured into Garth’s patented mongrel punk gospel and all the better for it. Horizontal Ballerina is a quick jolt of sleek future shock, whereas the dual sagas of loveable middle aged bogans Rennie & Rell takes in time travel and some severe genetic mutations along the way.

The whole collection rocks and also acts as a great primer before diving into the three headed beast that is Home Brewed Vampire Bullets. I hate to pick favourites but if Mick Dundee had his big ass knife to my throat I would have to go with The Case of the Feral Pig Down at Coffin Creek, a creepy but also hilarious splicing of Razorback (aka killer pigs) with Black Sheep (the NZ film).

I highly recommend you neck (or shelve) some of these Black Pills when they are released on April Fool’s Day this year.

[Whiskey Leavins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Garth Jones, author of such mind-altering gonzo-Aussie efforts as Cheapa Skips and Home Brewed, Vampire Bullets is back. This time with a collection of seven stories called Black Pills. Has the author mellowed out a bit? Decided to take it easy on our Cerebral Cortexes? Hardly. Prepare to have high octane jet-fueled pills crushed up and injected into the reading experience. This book contains a signature collection of Garth Jones characters and settings. Fading rock stars, corrupt politicos, hot, badass women, night clubs, back alleys, and resorts. And dead cats cannot be swung without hitting references to championship levels of drinking and line snorting. You know, wholesome Australian stories – I’m led to believe. I’ve never actually been.

I’m not going to go story by story, but I’ll throw out a couple of highlights. The Case of the Feral Pig Down at Coffin Creek opens the proceedings with meat-and-bone rending with gusto and verve. It also features an officer of the law named Fistwell. I mean, that’s it. That’s all that needs to be said. Mid-book, Horizontal Ballerina features the greatest AI-gone-rogue-in-space since Hal refused to open the pod bay doors. And the closing number, Renni ‘N’ Relle Smash Some Nazis: A Romance is just the most delightful, murderous romp one could hope to read. You caught the part about Nazi smashing, right? A smashing way to end a terrific collection of not-your-usual stories.

[Brian Mcclain · Rating 4 out of 5]

Employing some of the most entertaining writing I've read in a while and plotlines that wouldn't be out of place in bizarro fiction this collection was a lot of fun to read.

Recommended!

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Will Ivy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lysergic-soaked, grindhouse, obscenity-laden maelstrom of a novel—it's absolutely stunning! With an almost beat-like mastery of alliteration, the modern-day Joyce, Garth Jones, once again proves that the realm of psychedelic, universal gore horror speaks with an unmistakable Australian accent. Read at your own risk—after just 12 pages, I need a designated driver!

[Lara Cain Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Garth Jones’ writing is hard to describe to new recruit. There isn’t a neatly labelled marketing box in which to dump it, which is exactly why it appeals. I read A LOT, so to find work that is surprising and unpredictable is always a joy. He usually makes me laugh. Sometimes makes me gag. Always makes me think. This collection of short stories extended my response repertoire in ways I hadn’t expected: fear (for the future), empathy (for the seemingly unlovable), and eagerness to confect opportunities to deploy a few of the florid euphemisms I can never un-read. As author Steve MinOn says in the foreword: Garth’s work is not literary, and yet it is. It’s vulgar and excessive, but also erudite and clearly informed by an extensive and eclectic stock of creative influences. “It’s not for everyone” a few of the reviews say. Well, great. I’m in.

I thoroughly enjoyed Jones’ Home Brewed Vampire Bullets trilogy, a rock n roll ride that’s been likened to an Australian Spinal Tap (turned way beyond 11!), and there are elements of that same wildly expressive, no holds barred, firework prose here. But it’s interesting to watch Jones exercise some other writerly muscles in this collection. Story 2 in this set is ‘Hugo Garrett’s Exemplary Mowing Technique’, a subtle and affecting look at modern masculinities and fractured families. It was the worthy winner of Best Short Fiction at the 2024 Ronald Hugh Morrieson Literary Awards (NZ). Another personal favourite is ‘Horizontal Ballerina’, an example of my least favourite genre to read outside a collection like this (loosely, dystopian SF?) but full of such bloody excellent wordplay, rich intertextuality, and clin d’oeil moments that I read it, then immediately read it again.

There are many themes across the set, including gender politics, actual politics, myths of culture and nationalism, subservience to our tech bro overlords, the climate crisis, and urban malaise. The short story format allows for plenty of messing about with narrative perspective and structure. Read it for fun, read it for therapy or read it as an intriguing example of a clever writer flexing their fingers and letting loose. I look forward to what this author does next.

[Steve MinOn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read every story in this collection. Twice. The first time with my jaw on the floor and the second time just to appreciate the artistry he exhibits when he writes them. Like black humour? You’ll love Black Pills. Just look at the titles: Rennie ‘n’ ‘Relle Smash Some Nazis: A Romance. Don’t expect Emily in Paris. Then there’s The Insatiable Witches of Wriggler’s Bend. Which reminds me, call the plumber. The collection wouldn’t be complete without the story of our times: Rental Hell. Wondering what you can do about the housing crisis? Don’t give Garth Jones the keys to the Housing Ministry. You’ll lose your bond. In any case, you’re in for a ride if you read Black Pills. A ride you shouldn’t feel guilty about enjoying because its politics might one day save us all.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not a writer, but I love to read!!
This was the first time I had read a collection of short stories, so wasn’t sure what to expect. But I loved all of them!
Even though each story had its own pace, Garth somehow still managed to make all the tales and stories seem connected- referencing a story within a story, using a name, a place, an anecdote.
Under the dark humour and gonzo storytelling, Garth has made relatable characters that touch on relatable subjects- even if the situations are distorted and weird!!
Also, ‘Relle and Reggie are badass! Their whole story played out like a sequence from Sin City- well it did in my mind anyway.
Thanks Garth! For the intro into gonzo short stories- you’ve left me wanting more!

[Rob White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a roller-coaster of a ride, the stories start off at full throttle, with a welcome change of pace near the end, before it's back to the whacked out craziness to finish.

Very well written, totally engaging, the stories grab you by the throat and don't let go until they are finished, even the slower paced story won't let go, it just loosens its grip slightly. Yes the violence is over the top, but in the fun way, while still managing to be gruesome.

I need to read more, I will read more!!!

I got a copy of this from BookSirens and this is my honest review

[James Podhorodecki · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wild multi-dimensional delirium. If you hear 'ma, the rains are out!' and prefer a tin shed rattled with brain matter, empty caps, and blood splatter over corn kernals then these reads are for you.