How to Make Your Brain Your Best Friend: A Neuroscientist's Guide to a Healthier, Happier Life

by Rachel Barr

Your brain is the most remarkable thing in the known universe.

Fun, but still deeply, rigorously researched.' - Professor Neil Shyminsky

'A true masterpiece. Dr. Barr has done a phenomenal job breaking down the complexities of the human mind.' - Jeffrey Meltzer, LMHC

'Insightful and relatable psychoeducation that demystifies the brain . . . it’s a resource I’ll proudly keep on my shelf as a therapist.' - Joshua Fletcher, anxiety therapist

Always trying to mend itself, and always trying to protect you, it’s in a constant state of flux — adapting, reconfiguring, finding new pathways . . . And it has an astonishing capacity for recovery.

Only it doesn’t always get it right.

Rachel Barr struggled through years of devastating loss, heartache, and uncertainty until neuroscience gave her the first spark of self-belief she had felt in her adult life — and proof that, because of the brain’s near-infinite potential for neuroplastic change, it’s never too late to carve out neural pathways to form new habits, new skills, and new ways of thinking.

Whether you want to nerd-out on Neuroscientific acronyms, finally understand what’s going on in your head, or take refuge in a book that’s like a warm hug for your mind, How to Make Your Brain Your Best Friend is a delight-filled, evidence-based guide to taking better care of your brain — so it, in turn, will take better care of you.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Science, Neuroscience, Mental Health, Health

282 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 26, 2025

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: How to Make Your Brain Your Best Friend: A Neuroscientist’s Guide to a Healthier, Happier Life by Rachel Barr

Rating: 4.5/5

Reviewer’s Perspective & Initial Reactions
As a female sociologist and public health professional, I approached Barr’s work with both professional curiosity and personal skepticism. While the book targets a general audience seeking self-improvement, its neuroscientific foundation and emphasis on neuroplasticity offered unexpected relevance to my fields—particularly in understanding how structural stressors (e.g., poverty, discrimination) shape brain health. Barr’s blend of memoir and science—her journey from personal trauma to neuroscientific empowerment—struck an emotional chord. Her assertion that the brain is always trying to protect you felt validating yet bittersweet, given how often societal systems override this biological resilience in marginalized populations.

Strengths & Emotional Impact
-Science Made Accessible: Barr’s delight-filled explanations of complex concepts (e.g., neuroplasticity, habit formation) demystify neuroscience without oversimplifying. The balance of rigor and warmth reminded me of public health communication strategies for health literacy.
-Intersectional Potential: While not the book’s focus, her acknowledgment of trauma’s neural imprint invited implicit connections to ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) research—a missed opportunity to explicitly link individual recovery to social determinants of health.
-Emotional Resonance: Chapters on self-compassion and neural rewiring evoked both hope (for their transformative potential) and frustration (at their individualistic framing). As someone who studies community health, I longed for more discussion of collective healing practices.

Constructive Criticism
-Structural Context Needed: The book’s focus on personal agency risks obscuring how systemic inequities (e.g., healthcare access, environmental racism) constrain neuroplasticity. A public health critique would demand at least a chapter on policy-level interventions.
-Cultural Homogeneity: Barr’s Western-centric examples (e.g., new habits) overlook how cultural traditions (e.g., communal care in Indigenous cultures) already embody her principles.
-Practical Gaps: While the evidence-based guide excels in theory, more tools for applying these insights in high-stress, resource-scarce environments would enhance its utility for vulnerable populations.

Why This Book Matters
How to Make Your Brain Your Best Friend is a neuroscientific balm for our anxious era, offering a rare blend of intellectual substance and emotional solace. Its omission of structural analysis limits its radical potential, but doesn’t negate its value as a catalyst for individual and (with creative extrapolation) community resilience.

Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for providing a complimentary review copy. This book is a 4.5/5—a near-masterpiece that could soar higher by bridging brain science with social justice.

Pair With: The Body Keeps the Score (trauma-informed care) or NeuroTribes (neurodiversity frameworks). Ideal for readers seeking science-backed self-help, with caveats for scholars wanting systemic critique.

[CadmanReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unbelievably Excellent. I really shouldn't be surprised given who the author is and how much I love her content after finding it on Instagram recently.

I want to do a proper review but wanted to at least leave a comment in the meantime, urging people to pick up this book!

[Owen Ferguson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a lovely read. The backstory for each chapter kept me curious, the scientific reasoning and references had me convinced, the jokes _often delivered in italics_ kept the writing fresh, and I came away with actionable advice.

Favourite chapter: I sleep, therefore I am. The section about sleep trackers will live in my head rent-free for many years.

[Bryan Tanner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF):
Your brain isn’t your enemy—it’s your chemistry asking for honesty. When your choices match your values, your mind rewards you; when they don’t, it calls you out. This book shows how to align your actions with your identity so your neurobiology stops fighting you and starts backing you.

Executive Summary
- Happiness is a function of alignment between values and behavior.
- The medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC) affirms identity when actions match values; the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) flags dissonance when they do not.
- Goal: turn biology into an ally by closing the identity–behavior gap.

Peace-seeking Principles
- Self-compassion as regulation: Reduces stress reactivity, enables learning, and breaks the shame–anxiety loop.
- Authenticity = alignment: Live congruently to downshift internal conflict and upshift stability.
- Delight & savoring: Train attention on small positives to recalibrate a threat-biased brain.
- Exercise as medicine: Use movement for mood homeostasis and cognitive clarity, not performance chasing.
- Intentional boredom: Protect stimulus-free space to reset dopamine, incubate insight, and restore focus. (This means STOP doom scrolling.)
- Values-driven behavior: Lead with small, observable actions; let identity update from repeated proof. Only then will you experience an abiding sense of peace that feels earned.

Applied Takeaways
- Block daily input-free time for mental settling.
- Swap self-critique for curiosity: “What is my brain trying to protect?”
- Engineer cues and friction to make aligned actions the default.
- Use sensory savoring during anxiety spikes to re-ground in the body.
- Treat physical activity as emotional hygiene on a fixed cadence.
- Dress your truth: Wear what feels authentic and congruent.
- Micro-pledges: Pick three visible actions that match your values this week.
- Friction audit: Spot where you act against your beliefs and remove one trigger.
- Identity check-ins: Ask weekly, “Did I act in character or out of it?”

Who Should Read
- Anxious achievers toggling between drive and burnout.
- Values-driven professionals seeking congruence.
- Readers who prefer insight over heavy science.

Read Also
- How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton Christensen — explores purpose, integrity, and aligning life with values.
- The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt — examines how ancient wisdom and modern psychology converge on well-being.
- Atomic Habits by James Clear — demonstrates how small, consistent actions reshape identity and reinforce alignment over time.

[Jaclyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read/listen! The audiobook (read by the author) was incredibly informative, lovely, and funny at times. I’d recommend this book to anyone.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reduced half a star because there wasn't spoiler warning for Klara and the Sun, otherwise this is an informative and instantly relatable read. At some point she mentions Mary Oliver and Ocean Vuong as two of her favourite poets, and I wasn't surprised. Girl, you get me!

[Ana · Rating 4 out of 5]

The chapter about symbolic processing and the importance of art was so interesting. Such a wholesome and well-written book. Also Gnocchi is a perfect name for a cat.

[Lara Freitas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not quite science-focused enough to be a new perspective, not quite inspiring enough to be self-help. Feels mostly like a recap of information you probably already know.

[Zainab Geissah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book at a particularly significant time in my life having just graduated from my undergraduate education in political science and feeling completely disillusioned with the potential of living a fulfilling life at least through my career. Keeping up with political events and trying to keep informed opinions is exhausting and a challenge to one’s faith in humanity. I say all this because despite this I am an optimist, I see my life as a constant opportunity for growth and everyday that perspective is challenged. This book affirmed my optimistic perspective by rooting it in science, as opposed to any moralistic judgement system. I truly deeply appreciate that, and although this book didn’t change my life it has definitely given me a little pep in my step. In a world where what is good for you is defined by its productivity and at a particularly unproductive time in my life, it can be hard to not internalize this structure. However this book has helped me recognize and hone in on the many things, whether they add to my pay cheque or not, that enrich my life from nature, movement, community, kindness and creativity. Rachel has a knack for explaining things in a way that my genius friend would, you know? Like I am simultaneously captivated by her words and in trying to deeply understand them while also in awe of her ability to translate something that seems so complex that I would never attempt to understand it on my own. I have been taking pictures of quotes and pages and sending them to friends and family all week and am happy to give you your flowers, you truly deserve them. I hope everyone who reads this book enjoys the experience as much as I did if not more.

[GONZA · Rating 4 out of 5]

It does not happen every day that a neuroscientist writes a self-help book that is full of feaseble advice without being a scientist or pharmacist or psychotherapist. So I really appreciate the effort, and even though I didn't learn very much in therms of theories, some things will definitely be very useful to me.

Non capita tutti i giorni che un neuroscienziato scriva un libro di auto-aiuto che sia pieno di consigli attuabili senza essere scienziati o farmacisti o psicoterapeuti. Quindi apprezzo molto lo sforzo e, anche se non ho imparato moltissimo in termini di teoria, alcune cose mi saranno sicuramente molto utili.

I received from the Publisher a complimentary digital advanced review copy of the book in exchange for a honest review.

[Jung]

In "How to Make Your Brain Your Best Friend: A Neuroscientist’s Guide to a Healthier, Happier Life", Dr. Rachel Barr invites readers to see their own minds not as mysterious, uncontrollable forces but as companions that can be understood, trained, and treated with kindness. The book begins with a familiar scene - the hypnotic pull of the phone screen, the endless scrolling that leaves us drained yet strangely unable to stop. These small moments, Barr explains, reveal a fundamental truth: our brains often function in ways that don’t serve our best interests. Much of what we call 'choice' or 'self' is the product of automatic processes. But by understanding how the brain shapes identity, emotion, and attention, we can learn to work with it instead of against it. The journey toward well-being, Barr argues, begins with befriending the brain itself.

One of the book’s central ideas is that identity is deeply rooted in brain activity. We like to think of ourselves as fully in control, but the reality is that our brains constantly shape our thoughts, behaviors, and even our self-image. The medial prefrontal cortex, for instance, plays a key role in maintaining a coherent sense of who we are. The brain doesn’t just guide our actions - it absorbs influences from the outside world, often indiscriminately. This means that the information, people, and environments we surround ourselves with all become part of who we are. Just as the hunter in early human history defined his identity through the tangible experience of tracking and killing animals - experiences stored and integrated by the hippocampus - modern humans too rely on experiences to ground their sense of self. Yet many of our modern identity symbols, from luxury watches to social media personas, are detached from authentic experience. The result, Barr argues, is a kind of neurological confusion. Our brains, deprived of concrete memories to support these identity markers, produce a sense of inner dissonance. We end up with fragile, unstable self-concepts that wobble under pressure.

To counteract this instability, Barr encourages a return to authenticity - a life grounded in lived experience rather than image. The brain thrives on coherence between what we believe and what we do. But when we chase external validation or define ourselves through consumerism and digital approval, our neural circuits struggle to reconcile those signals. This mismatch leaves us anxious and unfulfilled. Living in accordance with our values, however, reinforces identity from within. The brain registers this alignment as safety and stability, rewarding us with calm and confidence.

Another major theme of the book is the power of self-compassion. Our brains are highly sensitive to social rejection and criticism. When we feel excluded or humiliated, the anterior cingulate cortex registers the pain much like a physical wound. This explains why a small social slight can linger for days. But while self-esteem is often unstable - easily shaken by failure or others’ opinions - self-compassion provides a sturdier foundation. Neuroscientific research shows that practicing kindness toward oneself actually changes how the brain responds to setbacks, softening threat responses and strengthening emotional resilience. The trick is to notice the critical inner voice and replace judgment with empathy. When you stumble, speak to yourself as you would to a close friend - with patience, forgiveness, and understanding. Barr points out that this idea, though supported by modern neuroscience, is as old as philosophy itself. Ancient thinkers like Socrates and the Stoics taught that wisdom begins with self-awareness and acceptance of one’s imperfections.

Self-compassion, however, doesn’t mean self-indulgence. It’s about balance - being honest about weaknesses while refusing to define yourself by them. When practiced regularly, it reshapes neural patterns, training the brain to respond to life’s challenges with perspective rather than panic. Over time, the harsh inner critic loses its power, replaced by a calmer, more constructive mindset.

Barr also highlights the underrated importance of delight - the small, fleeting moments of joy that remind us we’re alive. After experiencing personal hardship in her own life, she realized that even in times of despair, she could still find delight in simple pleasures: a good cup of tea, the warmth of sunlight, laughter with friends. These moments, she explains, are not trivial. They’re neurological counterweights to the brain’s 'negativity bias' - the built-in tendency to dwell on threats and failures more than on joys and successes. Our ancestors evolved to notice danger because survival depended on it. But in the modern world, this bias often traps us in cycles of worry and dissatisfaction.

By deliberately paying attention to moments of pleasure and gratitude - through a practice known as savoring - we can rewire the brain to balance its natural negativity. Whether it’s a walk outside, a meal, or a creative project, savoring deepens the experience and strengthens the memory of joy. The result is not only greater immediate happiness but also a lasting sense of contentment. By choosing to look for delight, Barr says, we shift the brain’s focus from fear to appreciation.

Movement, too, is crucial to brain health. Evolution wired us to move - hunting, gathering, exploring - and physical activity remains deeply tied to mental function. Exercise boosts the production of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a protein that supports learning, memory, and mood regulation. Even a single workout can elevate BDNF levels and improve cognitive performance. Yet Barr cautions against viewing exercise purely as discipline or punishment. The goal isn’t perfection, but joy in movement. Whether it’s dancing, walking, swimming, or stretching, what matters is consistency and enjoyment. Physical activity should be an expression of freedom - a reminder that the mind and body are meant to work together.

Barr also explores one of the greatest modern threats to brain well-being: the digital world. Our devices offer constant stimulation, but they also exhaust our cognitive systems. The brain was never designed to process endless streams of information or to multitask across dozens of tabs. Every time we switch tasks online, our attentional filter - the mechanism that prioritizes focus - becomes overloaded. The result is mental fatigue and reduced concentration. To protect our cognitive energy, Barr advises taking regular breaks, ideally every 30 to 90 minutes, and resisting the urge to 'relax' by scrolling through more content. Real rest happens when the brain disengages completely - through nature, conversation, or quiet reflection.

Another of Barr’s counterintuitive suggestions is to embrace boredom. Modern humans treat boredom as something to eliminate, but the brain experiences it as a signal to explore, imagine, and create. When we constantly fill every spare moment with stimulation, we deprive the brain of the downtime it needs for insight and memory consolidation. Letting yourself sit in boredom - even for a few minutes - allows the mind to wander, make connections, and generate new ideas. In other words, creativity depends on giving the brain room to breathe.

By the end of "How to Make Your Brain Your Best Friend", Barr has transformed the way we think about the mind. The book’s message is simple but profound: your brain is not a machine to be controlled, nor an enemy to be conquered. It is a living, adaptive organ that responds to how you treat it. When you feed it meaningful experiences, practice compassion, move your body, and give it rest, it thrives. When you overload it with noise, comparison, and self-criticism, it falters.

In conclusion, Dr. Rachel Barr’s "How to Make Your Brain Your Best Friend" offers a compassionate, science-based guide to mental well-being. By understanding that the brain shapes identity, emotion, and attention, we can begin to nurture it rather than fight it. Living authentically, treating ourselves with kindness, seeking delight, and moving regularly all strengthen our neural foundations for happiness. Meanwhile, stepping back from digital overload and embracing stillness help restore clarity and creativity. The book reminds us that peace of mind is not found by silencing the brain, but by befriending it - listening, caring, and learning to work in harmony with the most powerful companion we have.

[Marios · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rachel offers an incredibly accessible and engaging exploration of neuroscience, turning complex concepts into an emotional but easily digestible journey. The book successfully provides listeners with practical tools and insights for cultivating a healthier and happier life by fostering a positive relationship with their own minds. This is an exceptional book that feels less like a dry lecture and more like a warm, supportive conversation. It's a truly transformative experience that I would wholeheartedly recommend...

[Bookwormbadger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much enjoyed this non fiction book that is basically about making the most of our brain in order to get the best out of our time on earth. Full of inspiring ideas and concepts, as well as being a heartfelt testimony to the author's mother, this is an excellent read.
Meticulously researched and referenced too.

[Linda Balfoort · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing explanation of how the brain operates. Made me actually love my brain (although I do feel I have to read this daily to hold onto that feeling). A lovely reminder that we’re all social beings who want to cooperate - an additional beautiful line of evidence for Rutger Bregmans book “Human Kind”. Fastest read in a while. Thanks Rachel.

[Ólöf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ég gæti ekki mælt meira með þessari bók vá

[Alejandro G. Rangel · Rating 4 out of 5]

The big idea—treat your brain like a partner, not a project—sounds soft until you see how ruthlessly practical it is. Instead of “optimize everything,” the book argues for micro‑adjustments: 30–90 seconds of real delight, single‑tasked attention, movement that feels like play, and sleep treated as a strategic asset, not a negotiable hobby.

What hit hardest for me was the self‑compassion vs. self‑esteem distinction. I’ve ridden the self‑esteem roller coaster for years—great when people clap, shaky when they don’t. The self‑compassion frame felt sturdier, like laying down shock absorbers for the week. I also loved the push to “curate inputs.” It’s amazing (and a little spooky) how quickly your feeds start ghostwriting your values.

This isn’t a neuro‑jargon dump. The science is there, but the tone is humane and a little mischievous. The sections on meaning (built, not discovered) and creativity (useful even when it’s “bad”) gave me permission to do small things that matter to me, without waiting for a life overhaul.

If you want a martyrdom manual, this isn’t it. If you’re exhausted by productivity theater and hungry for a smarter way to feel alive and do good work, this book earns a spot on the short, keep‑within‑reach shelf. I finished with a clearer plan and, weirdly, more tenderness for the brain that’s been hauling me around all these years.

[Giulia Zzz · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author had me when she describes the wonders of the brain to imagining one day walking into your kitchen and learning that the sponge can write sonnets. How delightful!

As a psychologist and fellow researcher, the information was not new (eg meaning is built not found, make space for creativity and delight, connection and action as an antidote to loneliness), but I found it incredibly refreshing to read a well written and accessible book on the brain that actually gets the science right. No tricks here, just straightforward explanations with a heart. Listened to the audio - loved the Scottish accent too :)

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well researched book presented in a cozy light read style. Key takeaways for each chapter including your online world, and when difficult things happen in life. I found the later chapters had some interesting takeaways. Thank you to the author. Thank you to #netgalley and the publisher for an ARC.

[Lottie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommending this to everyone I know

[Ingrid Winata · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gosh, where to begin…I was recommended to the author’s Instagram by my mom, who randomly stumbled across her neuroscience content on…I think it might’ve been anxiety? I love my mum, she’s always sending me helpful stuff ❤️ So I followed the author, and lo and behold, I found out that she organized the world exactly as I wished someone would—in terms of explicable stories! Someone was finally answering the questions I’d always asked with logic, coherence and the slightest bit of open-ending hypothesizing, and it really resonated.

I adored this book, mostly for its length—it’s a quick 200-ish page handbook, but each reference, story and example is hand picked to perfection. It’s not overwhelming but it’s sufficiently illustrative so as to convince you of the point.

And what was the point? It was something that I swear I’ve been starved for but no one seems to want to say! It was something along the lines of ‘you’re allowed to chill’. Well, that’s how I took it, anyways—maybe that speaks to the state I was in when reading this thing. Pretty much every chapter was giving permission to, and heck, even encouraging, me to step back, overlook the rage-baiting, ultra-productive screech of the modern world. Advocating for the middle way—saying stuff like, you should be creative, because it’s a uniquely human way of expressing emotion; you should loosely consider ideas without becoming to attached, so that you remain open-minded; you should cultivate your garden and curate the content you consume, because each word, visual, sound makes an imprint on your brain.

I really appreciate the message—it’s nice to have a neuroscientifically validated reason to slow down. And omg I really appreciate the chapter summaries where the actionable steps were bolded—more nonfiction authors should do that!

Also the random jokes were hilarious and so readable, and lowkey unexpected:

“‘10 poisons to Definitely Not Eat for a Long Life!’ Even then, I can already hear a few toxicologists out there smirking, thinking to themselves, ‘But at what dose?’

Like lmfao, I lowkey love the chaotic, random, non-neuroscience humor—it’s like Skinner’s rat, you never know what you’re gonna get when!

I also loved this one:
…the blood-brain barrier, a biochemical bouncer that turns away uninvited molecules with a flick of its metaphorical wrist. Even your own blood must show ID to get in: ‘Excusez-moi, do you know who I am?!’ Ngl interrobangs make the world a better place

OH! And I looooved the evolutionary theory sprinkled throughout—it’s actually so gratifying to read about the functions of modern day behaviour in terms of Neolithic tribes, especially with respect to modern online marketplaces. Makes me feel connected to the earth and stuff.

Anyways, I think I’m gonna periodically come back to the chapter summaries, because I’ve never read a self-help book quite like this one. It’s nice to take a step away from hustle culture—and this was the perfect thing to read during an insanely stressful time! The type of thing where you curl up with a hot chocolate by the fire (it’s nice and cold over here too!), or stare out at falling raindrops on the bus, contemplating the meaning of life. I felt like I was holding a crystal ball, reading this on public transport. Loved it!

Personal notes
Below I’m gonna leave a couple of notes of neuroscience stuff I wanna remember, because there were only really a few brain regions mentioned, but they can explain sooo much—and I’m sure I’m gonna forget soon!

In terms of identity:
- Hippocampus: encodes memories and sends them to the mPFC
- Median prefrontal cortex (mPFC): the sensory integrator, weaves memories into the sense of self
- Temporo-parietal junction (TPJ): integrates sensory, motor, visual and auditory info, regulates senses and proprioception. Encodes social norms
- Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC): the self reflexive internal lie detector, compares memories of lived experience with external signals. Signals socially-imposed standards
- Anterior insular cortex (insula): responsible for cognitive dissonance, responds to the insula

[Crinoid · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rachel comes across as very genuine; this felt more like talking to a friend rather than reading a self-help book, which is a very good thing. I'm not sure why I keep reading self-help to begin with, I don't really like the genre but there is something at the back of my mind that hopes that I'll stumble on some accessible nugget of wisdom maybe.

The book is indeed accessible and gives some good advice. The last chapter is more existential and had some interesting reflections on how the brain looks for narratives and coherence; it's bad at picking up on patterns in the present / recent past but when we look further back the meaning and trajectory of events is easier to notice. Or maybe it's just a narrative we make up with hindsight and space for some emotional detachment, it's an interesting thing to think about.

I was hoping for more neuroscience-y information.

As I was reading it I was telling myself that I'd give it 5 stars because I like Rachel and I watch her social media content, but I'm a pretty harsh rater and the idea of giving this 5 stars was giving me cognitive dissonance.

[tom boos · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Delightful Read

Starting with the Cat jumping on the keyboard in the preface, the advice to us humans, with the big brains, is well written and compassionate. She (the author😁) reminds us to care about each other, not lose focus on our sense of worth, and to think about what makes us happy.

She shows us safeguard strategies for today’s Zoomy world in the incessant (and enjoyable but addicting ) social media likeTicTok. Nice to know habits to help cope with loneliness, cravings, and social presence. She cites quite a few coming of age stories that were a delight to read.

It’s an impressive first book, remarkably researched, and a testament to the author’s passion to bring neuroscience to better mental health for anyone willing to listen. Nice advice for everyone!

[Hanna Bexley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Self-improvement has morphed from a simple quest for personal growth into an almost manic pursuit of productivity and perfection.

This book is one of the most fascinating nonfiction books I have ever read.

It is educational, yet it balances out science with jokes and stories and feels like a friend is talking to you. And I'm serious on the friend part. The author's writing is deeply caring for humans well-being and understanding our ancient brain, that helped us survive and strive all those thousand years before technologies and big cities.

True self-compassion involves acknowledging our own suffering without becoming consumed by it. It’s an active process that requires us to take responsibility for our own actions while also recognising our intrinsic worth.

I am definitely buying the audio version and copies for my friends!

Thanks to netgalley.com for providing a free copy for my honest review.

[Ana Pau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a big fan of learning how the brain works. I would’ve loved to be a neuroscientist (honestly, I probably was in another life!). I’m also constantly on the lookout for good self-help books, and this one brings together the best of both worlds. The topic is very important to me because, like almost everyone, I’ve dealt with difficult moments in my mental health, and I’m always searching for tools that genuinely help.

I’ve followed Rachel on social media for a long time, and I truly admire how clearly and compassionately she explains neuroscience in a way that feels easy, relatable, and immediately applicable.

In this book, she breaks down how our brains operate. Some of the tips she shares are things I had tried before, and they’ve genuinely helped me. Others are still on my list to try, but just reading them made me feel more equipped and hopeful to live a “better” and “happier” life.

Overall, the balance between science and practical wellbeing tools is great! If anyone asks me what to read to improve their mental wellbeing, this is definitely the book I’ll be recommending first

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book and recommending it to all my clients!

[Katie T]

Meh

[Mokosoi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an amazing educational book rooted in neuroscience! It didn’t feel self-helpy and preachy, but rather the author wove in personal anecdotes to make the book digestible. I could not stop reading the last paragraph: (which may make more sense when read in the context of the chapter)

‘everything that you do during your short time here on earth will leave a sprinkle of your essence behind. your moments of kindness will carry your significance, from the hearts you touch directly to those they touch in turn. the seeds you plant today will inspire a never ending chain of life that flows from soil to sky and back again. each principled stand you take lays a stepping stone for those who follow. it’s not just about the meaning you create in your own life, your impact will outlive you. each small triumph sends out a ripple that radiates through time, brightening every atom of living matter it touches along the way.’

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

a brain for everyone

Rachel does an incredible job explaining the concepts of how the brain works in real time. It is done in a way that is relatable and interesting, leaving the average reader feeling like they learned something that they can take with them. As a reader who does a lot with neurology, it was refreshing to find a book that I can feel comfortable recommending to patients. I was also able to listen to the audiobook which was narrated by the author. I laughed out loud and felt her sorrow right beside her. This book has really been my best read this year.

[Giulia✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

overall, a needed reminder

[FaithfulReviewer (Jacqueline) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to DK | DK RED, the author and NetGalley for a DRC in return for an honest review

This is my favourite quote from the book which really resonated with me:

'Imaginative play is often seen as a childish activity, but in adulthood it is a powerful tool for resilience, creativity and emotional regulation.'

Here, Rachel Barr argues that imaginative play isn’t just for children - it remains essential throughout adulthood. Engaging in creativity, daydreaming or playful thinking helps keep the adult brain adaptable and emotionally resilient. Rather than being frivolous, imagination strengthens neural connections, supports problem-solving and allows us to process complex emotions in healthy ways.

This line captures the heart of Barr’s argument: our brains thrive not through relentless optimisation, but through curiosity, daydreaming and a willingness to wander. As a neuroscientist, Barr grounds this in evidence - from studies on neuroplasticity and default mode networks to the restorative effects of imagination. Yet she delivers it with the warmth of a storyteller, urging readers to reclaim play as a form of cognitive nourishment.

Whilst there is a lot of scientific reasoning in this book, it isn’t overly technical and it’s written in a way that anyone can understand. Barr invites readers to treat the brain as a lifelong companion - a sometimes chaotic, occasionally lazy but endlessly creative friend who can be coaxed into better habits through understanding rather than punishment. What she says makes a lot of sense to me.

Later in the book, Barr turns her focus onto attention - how easily our thinking can be hijacked in a world of constant stimulation. In one particularly striking passage she writes:

'When our brains are distracted, we default to agreement. The cognitive load of filtering, comparing and questioning becomes too great, so we take the shortcut.'

It’s a sharp reminder of how fragile critical thought can be when our focus is fragmented. Barr deftly explains how distraction doesn’t just make us less productive - it makes us less discerning. In doing so, she highlights something profound: protecting our attention isn’t about productivity; it’s about autonomy.

In much the same way that Kari Leibowitz’s 'How to Winter' encourages a shift in mindset to embrace, rather than endure, the darker months, Rachel Barr urges readers to adopt a similar mental reorientation toward their own brains. Where Leibowitz reframes winter as a season to work with rather than fight against, Barr reframes the brain as an ally rather than an adversary. Her message is clear: by changing our mindset and focus - from control and critique to curiosity and collaboration - we can unlock the brain’s full potential for creativity, resilience and contentment.

By the end, you feel not only informed but oddly comforted. Barr leaves you with the sense that the brain is not an obstacle to happiness, but the key to understanding it.

#HowtoMakeYourBrainYourBestFriend #NetGalley