Behind Closed Doors: Memoirs of an American Call Girl

by E.S. Silversmith

Young, broke, in college.

What’s a girl to do?

Dive into this deliciously absurd and darkly humorous peek inside the world's oldest profession.

Told through a series of encounters with real clients, this unhinged nonfiction recounts the misadventures of a socially awkward college student as she fumbles her way through the salacious world of escorting.

While recalling unforgettable stories, Silversmith shares her unique insight into the business practices of call girl agencies and the everyday lives of American sex workers.

At times tragic, and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny, this is a book you won't be able to put down.

Genres: Nonfiction

326 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 10, 2025

About the author

Long since retired from her days moonlighting as an entertainer, E. can be found in the sleepy pine forests of the Pacific Northwest. When she isn’t working her dream job in the medical field, E. spends her time gardening, playing Magic the Gathering, and enjoying the peaceful solitude of the damp, mossy woods.

Reviews

[Amy Armitage · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! This memoir made me realise what a skewed, romanticised idea of the sex worker trade I had in my mind. I've been watching the series 'Madam' - based on the true story of Antonia Murphy in New Zealand - but I think the series doesn't show what truly happened with the girls ... I'd like to know the full story.

Back to this memoir. With my unrealistic ideas of the sex worker trade, I'd even considered it as an option when I was worried I'd become destitute, but after reading E.S. Silversmith's accounts of what really goes on behind closed doors, I soon realised that I would never have survived or lasted long. The idea of going to a strange man's house, alone, terrifies me. I honestly don't know how she did it. The sketchy neighbourhoods and men high on drugs and alcohol petrifies me. How she remained safe for so long, I'll never know - someone or something was definitely watching over her.

Hats off to E.S. Silversmith for baring it all - writing something this raw and honest is never easy - and for giving the rest of the world a true perspective of what a call girl's life is really like. Yes, here are funny moments mixed up with the more serious stuff, and it was great to read that she was strong enough to stand up for herself and be in total control of her body and what she did or did not do with her clients.

If you're curious and what to know what it's really like to be a call girl, give Behind Closed Doors a read.

[Courtney ☮️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an eye opening look into the world of being a call girl. The book goes through encounters of all kinds. Some are laughable while others are dark. There is witty banter, odd kinks and humanizing tales. This is a great book for anyone interested in true stories. The author also did an amazing job with explainations and keeping things down to earth.

[Steve M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be quite interesting because it was a peek into the world of a professional call girl. There are parts of the book that are quite humorous, parts that are interesting to read about and also parts of it that are disgusting. The author does keep the biography interesting throughout the book, talking of her experiences and the clients she encounters.
The psychological aspect of her profession fascinates me because of the lifestyle and the dangers of this profession. Each time she goes out on a call, there is no telling what awaits her behind that door. Reading about some of the places she had to go to, I couldn't help thinking that there was no way I would have even approached the place. Here she is a young, beautiful lady, scantily clad, going into a place that appears scary from the outside....and her hours were usually after midnight. She works in this profession because she wants to go to college and has no financial support nor does she qualify for scholarships or financial aid, so she has to work to be able to afford the expense and minimum wage salaries would never cover the tuition alone, much less the cost of housing and living expenses. I remember many females in college that worked as strippers or call girls and I can only say that I had a lot of respect for them because of their determination to pay their own way through school and accomplish their goal to have a career when they graduated. I know many of them who were working toward their degree in nursing that finished and are working in the medical field even today. Who's to judge them or anyone how they chose to work to accomplish their life dream?
When she told about her live-in boyfriend who refused to work, stayed home smoking weed all day, spending all their money buying drugs, I couldn't help but get judgmental. She eventually dumped his ass, but she put up with him WAY too long! He did ride with her to some jobs and he "came in handy" as her "protector" on a few occasions when the client was aggressive. Otherwise, he was just dead weight ripping her off constantly.
If you chose to read this one, be forewarned that the last two chapters are tough to read. She does tell of women that fell prey to pimps and the results of what happens to them. Another chapter is about her encounter with BDSM and it's quite disgusting to read. Overall, if the subject has your curiosity aroused, I feel you would enjoy this book.

[Kari Noland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this message on my website portal as a book seller. This book is available on my site, but I think the author of the following email thought I was the writer (I am not). However, it’s such a good review, I wanted to share.

Hi Essis, I just finished reading Behind Closed Doors: Memoirs of an American Call Girl, and wow, it’s one of the most raw and darkly funny memoirs I’ve come across. The way you balance absurd humor with the gritty realities of sex work makes it both entertaining and eye-opening. The bachelor party chapters especially stood out both shocking and laugh-out-loud in the way you portrayed them. What makes this book powerful is that, even in the chaos, your voice feels grounded, sharp, and deeply human. It cuts through the noise in a crowded memoir market and reads like something that lingers long after the last page. Since the book is still new, I wonder have you considered what keywords on Amazon might help it reach the right audience? Phrases like “dark comedy memoir,” “confessional nonfiction,” or even “sex work stories” could help readers who’d love your voice find it more easily. Wishing you lots of success as more readers discover Behind Closed Doors! Warm regards, Mary

[Delmar Kentner]

One of the most interesting and enlightening books I've ever read. Leads me to shock, awe and wonder at the variations in the minds of we humans. (Be aware, a SLIGHT amount of hyperbole creeps into my words now and then.) The wonder is at how E. S. Silversmith was raised and how she was taught in childhood that allowed her to lead what seems to have been a dual life in her college years and successfully transition to something else. She exhibited an admirable ability to do what needed to be done.
Well done and I tip my hat to her!! (It's really just a cap.)
THEN, we have her clients who turned to her company and her to get their itches scratched. Itches that varied from the simple need for human connection to pretty severe bdsm. One itches to study their backgrounds how they were raised.
All in all, a pleasure and pain to read. Pleasure to learn and a pain to re-examine some long-held beliefs about the human condition.

[Kyle Kaplan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book proved to me that sometimes, you don't know what you don't know. Between laughing (which I did often) and gagging (which I did only once, but wow), this book showed me a perspective that I would never have had access to otherwise. It also taught me that some people value fish very differently than others, apparently. Get this book. You won't regret it.

[Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting work. I found my heart and mind touched by the author’s story. At times there was a wee bit of anger and bitterness tinged with self-justification in the tone of the telling. I cannot say I enjoyed it. But I can say I view the world differently with more compassion and empathy. For that, I am grateful to the author.

[martha s. williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

BCD

Eye opening tales of what happens when an escort is called. Nothing remotely glamorous about it. I feel for those women. No wonder she doesn't have a high regard for most of her customers. The hypocrisy of some people is stunning. I'd have liked to have known how E got out of the business as well, and what made her finally dump the hanger on boyfriend.

[Elorin Achiad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad slice of life

E became an escort to support herself, her boyfriend, and her education. Her experiences are interesting and varied, but also tragic. Her attitude towards men in light of her time in the sex industry is scathing and deprecating.
The book is well written and exposes the nature of a woman in sex work in the current climate.

[Fang · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightful portrayal of the world’s oldest profession,
“Behind Closed Doors” is a mix of traumatic retellings with a darkly humorous commentary. Often somber and realistic but never morose, this sharp-witted memoir offers tale after tale of kinky seduction and exploitation.

[Amie Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book

I love how unapologetic this book is. The willingness of the author to put the good and bad, and not sugar coat anything. It's well written and edited beautifully.

[David W Pohl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting

Shows human nature as few of us have ever experienced it thankfully. A very interesting read about a foreign world.

[Crystal M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book. I was surprised at a few of her "clients". Some just wanted some companionship for a few hours, some had some really depraved (IMO) kinks. Most were about what you would expect. I found this book both eye-opening & entertaining.

[Vee · Rating 5 out of 5]

The absolutely voyeuristic peek into the life of an escort. Some parts were disgusting and repulsive….and yet, I couldn’t look away and kept turning the page! I needed to know more. The psychology behind her clients behaviors and most of the men who would use this kind of service was eye opening and also pretty bleak. Fascinating read.

[Patricia Long · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow, filth, depravity and private enterprise all rolled into one! Those with tender psyches should NOT read this book...

[Mike'ala Gannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating! Darkly hilarious and an insanely addictive read. I couldn't put it down!

[Tom Maurino · Rating 4 out of 5]

I commend Ms. Silversmith for having the perseverance to work her way through the gritty world she had to endure to achieve her educational goal. Although it did take me longer to finish the book than I’d intended, it wasn’t as though her story wasn’t on my mind, and found my way back to it with as much interest and curiosity every time I opened the book.

[Jayce Chambliss · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would honestly give this 3.5 stars, but you know my rule about memoirs. This one was ESPECIALLY vulnerable, so I just couldn’t give it less than 4 stars, mostly because it earned it in the first 75 percent of the book.

In Memoirs of a Call Girl, the author recounts her experience as an escort putting herself through medical school. She had a strict list of things she would or wouldn’t do, and it was just overall interesting in a way that I believe reading should be. Books should take you to places and expose you to lives you would never get the chance to otherwise. This book DEFINITELY did that.

The first half of the book was so wild and crazy and just “oh my gosh” every time I opened the book. She recounts her clients and coworkers and some wild situations beyond my own imagination, and not in a smutty way, but in a way similar to Julia Fox’s memoir. Matter of fact and WILD.
In the second half, the book gets a little sadder, which made sense, but did slow me down in terms of reading speed. I don’t want to spoil anything, but the last quarter of the book does give perspective to the reality of how this girl’s experience was more the exception and not the rule.

If you’re looking for a wild memoir, this is one.

[Al · Rating 3 out of 5]

Were it not for the need this book has for a through proofread, I’d have given it a four star, possibly even five star ranking. But the proofreading issues I had to trip over or reword in my mind as I read it far exceeded what I can ignore. The interesting contents is all that saved me from going with a two star ranking instead.

The story here when you get past the poor proofreading is interesting in many ways. The various experiences the author chronicles from her time spent working in what is often called “the world’s oldest profession” was interesting. It gives a different perspective on it from the standpoint of the worker. But it also gives some insight into her customers, both good and bad aspects. The book is arranged as a set of stories although following a rough chronological order so that as the author’s experiences and approach changed over time it was reflected in the stories. If you can get past the atrocious proofreading, there is a good read and lots of thought-provoking story here.

**Originally written for "Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy. **

[Kim Wilch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Behind Closed Doors is like getting smacked in the face with a reality check… and then handed a cocktail of chaos, cringe, and courage. E.S. Silversmith dives into the gritty world of escorting with a mix of raw honesty, “did-that-really-happen?” tales, and enough questionable clients to make your skin crawl. Some of the stories are dark, some are hilarious, and some are just plain icky—but all of them give you a front-row seat to a world most of us only think we understand.

Yes, the writing can get a bit repetitive, we get it, that guy was gross—but there’s also something fascinating and unexpectedly empowering in the author’s no-BS approach. She’s sharp, street-smart, and clearly had her wits about her at all times. You’ll laugh, you’ll gag, you’ll wonder how she survived some of those situations with her sanity intact.

Overall, it’s a bold, eye-opening ride. A little uneven in tone, but if you can handle some snark and sketchy scenarios, it’s a wild story worth the read.

[Sheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author tells a good story but could have used a good editor. Not a huge issue but there's definitely some clunkiness here and there. I don't know if it got worse as the book went on or if I was initially too interested to bother noticing.

I suspect she sugar-coated things sometimes -- she'll talk about how men liked to put down women in her career in one chapter, then in another talk as if going to work meant accruing meaningless compliments, for example -- but she also discusses a lot of the downsides of the job pretty frankly. She's trying to write an entertaining book and the dreariness of ongoing degradation and sexism are not real conducive to that, so she tends to tell and not show there a bit, focusing on the memorable occasions (good or bad) rather than the every day.

[Ann · Rating 1 out of 5]

Advanced Reader copy: (the review I posted for the author to read)
I won't lie, this book was hard for me to read. I didn't like Seth, the boyfriend, I didn't like the co-dependency in the relationship, I didn't like that she put herself at risk while trying to survive, I didn't like that it was "all on her"! I've seen documentaries about sex workers, and realize that the profession exists because there is a clientele. This book (& subject) just exposes the worst in humans IMO, and I kept finding myself saying NO out loud throughout reading this book, like: No, don't get in the car, No, don't open that door, No, don't go into that room!!! (DNF)

[Lisa Schueler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shockingly easy read. I couldn't stop being grossed out by it but it gave me a clear, uncomfortable picture of the author's life as an "escort"--at least beginning as an escort but progressing to much more. I almost had to stop reading when she tortured one of her customers by duct-taping his mouth shut with a loaded tampon inside, then made him drink out of an extremely unclean toilet. As sleazy as it was, it was a page-turner, and I highly recommend it if you're up for a lesson in the underbelly of the industry.

[Amanda Lines · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful and fascinating read about a woman's early years working as an escort and slowly spiraling into the depths of losing your moral compass and embracing the strange. It was an easy read to get through and I loved the crazy stories from bizarre to horrendous! The ending is the best part where we see where she ended up and how sex work changed her perspective on the world! Highly recommend

[Michelle Gladstone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. Dark, hilarious, disturbing. Interesting for sure.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

there was so much unnecessary detail in this book, as well as plenty of grammatical errors which detracted from the content. It took me four months to finish this book, which speaks volumes!