If Only: A Wilderness Suspense Novel

by Pamela Beason

With her housemate Blake away and her lover Chase also absent, Sam Westin embarks on a backpacking trip in the North Cascades, hoping to photograph the elusive gray wolves. Blake, reeling from a recent breakup, has taken a six-week job far away in Evansburg, caring for three gorillas while their owner, Dr. Grace McKenna, is on vacation. But events take a dark turn when the baby gorilla is shot by an intruder, prompting Grace’s lover, Detective Finn, to investigate.
Sam’s impromptu trip becomes dangerous when she finds a corpse and then stumbles upon an injured immigrant and pack horse carrying drugs. After a gunshot forces her to flee her campsite, Sam faces a perilous cross-country journey with the injured man and horse in tow.
In Evansburg, while following the trail of the gorilla shooting, Detective Finn stumbles upon a murdered woman in a nearby abandoned house and her child hiding in the gorilla barn. With both investigations going nowhere fast, it will take Sam visiting Blake and the gorillas to spot a clue that may be the link needed to solve all the crimes.

327 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 12, 2025

About the author

Pamela Beason lives in the Pacific Northwest, where she writes novels and screenplays and works as a private investigator. When she's not on the job, she explores the natural world on foot, in cross-country skis, in her kayak, or underwater scuba diving.

Beason is the author of nine full-length fiction works: THE ONLY WITNESS, THE ONLY CLUE (books 1 and 2 of the Neema Mysteries); SHAKEN, CALL OF THE JAGUAR (romantic suspense novels), ENDANGERED, BEAR BAIT, and UNDERCURRENTS in the Summer "Sam" Westin series; and RACE WITH DANGER and RACE TO TRUTH, books 1 and 2 of a YA Run for Your Life adventure trilogy. She also wrote the nonfiction titles, SAVE YOUR MONEY, YOUR SANITY, AND OUR PLANET and SO YOU WANT TO BE A PI?. Pam's writing has earned her multiple prizes, including the Daphne du Maurier Award, two First Place prizes and two Grand Prizes in the Chanticleer Book Reviews Contest, and an Honorable Mention in a Library Journal contest.

As an avid outdoorswoman and animal lover, Beason challenges the human assumption that we are the superior species. Drifting through life is not enough; you have to live it.

Pamela blogs and tweets about writing, outdoor adventures, and the value of being present in the moment. She looks forward to connecting with readers on her Twitter, Goodreads Page or Blog.

Reviews

[Dave Weller]

If Only apparently combines two book series by Pamela Beason into one. I read the first six in the Sam Westin series, and I enjoyed them quite a bit. The same can be said for If Only. The Neema series, of which I have read none, revolves around Dr. Grace McKenna and Matthew Finn and three gorillas named Gumu, Neema and Kanoni. McKenna is studying the gorillas and teaching them sign language. At the outset McKenna and Finn are vacationing in Hawaii, when a shot is fired that injures the baby gorilla, Kanoni. Meanwhile, Sam Westin, the adventuresome outdoor reporter, sets out on a hike in North Cascades National Park in search of wild wolves. Her housemate, Blake, has temporarily taken the job of house sitting and gorilla watching, and that is the tie in between the Neema series and the Sam Westin series. I will stop there. I love the Sam Westin character and her FBI agent crush, Chase Perez. The author does a nice job of describing each character. I also appreciate Sam's love of the outdoors and wildlife and her environmental stances. The descriptions of the North Cascades are quite vivid and made me feel like I was there. The plot includes Haitian refugees and feels very current with the presence of ICE and immigration authorities. This book may prompt me to seek out the Neema series, if another Sam Westin novel is not forthcoming, before Pamela Beason rolls around again in my list of authors to read.