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An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder: A Novel
A wannabe witch tries to break a curse on a clueless client in this laugh-out-loud debut for fans of queer fantasy like TJ Klune and Tamsyn Muir.
Mateo Borrero has ninety-nine problems, and all of them hinge on the fact that his terrifying and currently-missing bruja mother trapped a demon in his body when he was born. His mother forbade him from ever using magic, but now that she’s gone, magic’s his only marketable skill, and he’d really like an exorcism—which costs money he doesn’t have. What’s the harm in making a quick buck by calling himself an Occult Specialist and chanting a few half-remembered spells in his crappy Spanish?
Enter Topher, a naive nepo baby with a curse that keeps killing people around him. Most importantly, he’s rich, and too clueless to clock that Mateo–and his (absolutely-not-the-assistant) astral-projecting best friend Ophelia–have never actually had a client before. Lifting Topher’s bad luck curse should be simple, but as luck would have it, nothing is simple, and Topher–who Mateo sort of, kind of likes–might be at the center of a deadly magical conspiracy.
To make matters worse, the more magic Mateo does, the stronger the demon inside him grows and the more he wants to eat people. But would caving to the urges of an ancient evil really be that bad if it helps him get a payday?
Legends and Lattes meets A Grim Reaper’s Guide to Catching a Killer in this hilarious and charming contemporary fantasy readers won’t want to miss.
Mateo Borrero has ninety-nine problems, and all of them hinge on the fact that his terrifying and currently-missing bruja mother trapped a demon in his body when he was born. His mother forbade him from ever using magic, but now that she’s gone, magic’s his only marketable skill, and he’d really like an exorcism—which costs money he doesn’t have. What’s the harm in making a quick buck by calling himself an Occult Specialist and chanting a few half-remembered spells in his crappy Spanish?
Enter Topher, a naive nepo baby with a curse that keeps killing people around him. Most importantly, he’s rich, and too clueless to clock that Mateo–and his (absolutely-not-the-assistant) astral-projecting best friend Ophelia–have never actually had a client before. Lifting Topher’s bad luck curse should be simple, but as luck would have it, nothing is simple, and Topher–who Mateo sort of, kind of likes–might be at the center of a deadly magical conspiracy.
To make matters worse, the more magic Mateo does, the stronger the demon inside him grows and the more he wants to eat people. But would caving to the urges of an ancient evil really be that bad if it helps him get a payday?
Legends and Lattes meets A Grim Reaper’s Guide to Catching a Killer in this hilarious and charming contemporary fantasy readers won’t want to miss.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published October 14, 2025
40 people are currently reading
13266 people want to read
About the author
K. Valentin
1 book85 followersK. Valentin is the author of the critically acclaimed adult contemporary fantasy novel, An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder. She has also been published in the Bag of Bones Horror Anthology, Cosmos: An Anthology of Dark Microfiction and the Latino Book Review Magazine.
K hails from England and Las Vegas and presently calls rainy Washington home. This far-ranging combination of formative locations makes K very proper, occasionally scandalous, and extremely emo. When not writing about demons, she's writing about hackers or elves.
K hails from England and Las Vegas and presently calls rainy Washington home. This far-ranging combination of formative locations makes K very proper, occasionally scandalous, and extremely emo. When not writing about demons, she's writing about hackers or elves.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 182 reviews
October 19, 2025
I’m on BookTube now! =)
**I received an ARC of this book from Alcove Press and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to read this story!**
Trigger warnings:
This book was utterly charming but also kind of dark and chaotic and I’m more than just happy to admit that I loved every second of it! By now I’ve read my fair share of queer horror books and I can definitely say that “An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder” was a very unique and compelling story! When I picked it up I didn’t expect the book to be so bloody and gory, but it certainly delivered on that front. Don’t let yourself be fooled by that cute mauve comic cover! There’s real creepy business happening in here! Just to give you a little heads-up before we dive right into the plot. ;-)
So first things first: It’s pretty rare to find queer demon stories and the premise of a witch who is possessed by a demon already sounded quite intriguing to me. Add to that Mateo’s bestie Ophelia who is a Traveller - not an astral projection like I initially assumed, but a person who can astral project into other realms and see/trace magic – and you already have a unique starting point for a story. Unfortunately, Mateo’s mother who is responsible for his “demon problem” and the only person who would be able to help him disappeared a couple of years ago and left him to his own devices. Which isn’t exactly an ideal situation but Mateo and Ophelia somehow made it work and are trying their best to pay their rent and to keep on living. Mateo needs some extra money to get a direly needed exorcism, though, so when the opportunity arises and a very wealthy seemingly cursed boy appears in his shop and asks him for help, he grabs it and pretends to be an occult specialist. Because he sort of is, and there’s no harm in helping a loaded guy with a little curse, right?
Well, not really, because Topher’s curse is more deadly than they initially thought and people around him are dying left and right. They might have bitten off more than they can chew but Ophelia and Mateo are no quitters and they are determined to help Topher as best as they can. Accidents happen, people around them are dying, crazy wizards and witches are out for their blood, Topher’s mom is missing, emotions run high, bad decisions are made, chaos ensues and the demon in Mateo gets hungrier with each spell. In other words, just an ordinary day for our two supernatural chaos children! ;-P
No, seriously, I loved this book and those characters so much! This story had no business to hit me that hard, but the found family trope was amazing and those three insecure, emotionally stunted teenagers turned out to be extremely endearing. As a parent, I simultaneously had the urge to hug and to chide them, which is no small feat! I mean, damn, they did so many morally questionable things, but I just couldn’t help but grin whenever they went for their next horrible decision or scheme. It felt like finding a 2 year old toddler after it ate a chocolate bar and the evidence is smeared all over its face, yet it still claims: No, I didn’t eat that! You don’t know whether you should laugh out loud or give the toddler a stern talking to, which basically describes my feelings for the characters throughout the entire book. To make it even harder, the black humour was on point and Mateo’s thoughts as well as his conversations with Ophelia and Topher were priceless.
Topher that intelligent, suave yet at the same time insecure, gullible and precious sunshine child! I loved him so much; no wonder Mateo and Ophelia grew fond of him, too. Also I need to mention it here, I totally agree with Mateo: Quincy deserves a salary raise! The way this man managed those three chaotic teens while seriously wild things and crazy shit was happening around them was of epic proportions! Quincy’s poker face is the stuff of legend! I stand by that. *lol*
Conclusion:
“An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder” was one hell of a wild and unpredictable ride! Some of the plot twists really got me and the unexpected intensity of the character’s bonds as well as their strong feelings for each other totally took me by surprise. The gory details and darker scenes were something I didn’t expect as well, and I was very happy to find out that this story wasn’t just fluffy and cute. I don’t know if this was just a standalone or the first book in a series – the foundations would be laid – but I’d definitely be up for a sequel! Five stars, this was great and I want more!
______________________________
This story was amazing!
Way darker than I thought it would be and also a lot more gory, but I just loved my three chaos children! They were all so endearing and the found family vibe was strong!
Also Quincy! The man that you are! *lol*
Full RTC soon! Most definitely next week! ;-)
_______________________________
YES! I got an e-ARC for this book from the publisher and NetGalley!
And I’m so ready to dive into this story, because it sounds like a lot of fun and perfect for the #Rainboween readathon I host each year. XD
As for what “An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder” is about:
- A broke witch with a demon attached to his soul – Exorcism direly needed!
- His bestie who’s an astral projection
- A rich guy who has a curse that follows him and kills people
- A deadly magical conspiracy
- One hell of a hungry demon that grows with every magical spell.
If you ask me, that’s the perfect recipe for chaos and I already love it. *lol*
Find me on:
My Blog
Instagram
**I received an ARC of this book from Alcove Press and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to read this story!**
Trigger warnings:
This book was utterly charming but also kind of dark and chaotic and I’m more than just happy to admit that I loved every second of it! By now I’ve read my fair share of queer horror books and I can definitely say that “An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder” was a very unique and compelling story! When I picked it up I didn’t expect the book to be so bloody and gory, but it certainly delivered on that front. Don’t let yourself be fooled by that cute mauve comic cover! There’s real creepy business happening in here! Just to give you a little heads-up before we dive right into the plot. ;-)
So first things first: It’s pretty rare to find queer demon stories and the premise of a witch who is possessed by a demon already sounded quite intriguing to me. Add to that Mateo’s bestie Ophelia who is a Traveller - not an astral projection like I initially assumed, but a person who can astral project into other realms and see/trace magic – and you already have a unique starting point for a story. Unfortunately, Mateo’s mother who is responsible for his “demon problem” and the only person who would be able to help him disappeared a couple of years ago and left him to his own devices. Which isn’t exactly an ideal situation but Mateo and Ophelia somehow made it work and are trying their best to pay their rent and to keep on living. Mateo needs some extra money to get a direly needed exorcism, though, so when the opportunity arises and a very wealthy seemingly cursed boy appears in his shop and asks him for help, he grabs it and pretends to be an occult specialist. Because he sort of is, and there’s no harm in helping a loaded guy with a little curse, right?
Well, not really, because Topher’s curse is more deadly than they initially thought and people around him are dying left and right. They might have bitten off more than they can chew but Ophelia and Mateo are no quitters and they are determined to help Topher as best as they can. Accidents happen, people around them are dying, crazy wizards and witches are out for their blood, Topher’s mom is missing, emotions run high, bad decisions are made, chaos ensues and the demon in Mateo gets hungrier with each spell. In other words, just an ordinary day for our two supernatural chaos children! ;-P
No, seriously, I loved this book and those characters so much! This story had no business to hit me that hard, but the found family trope was amazing and those three insecure, emotionally stunted teenagers turned out to be extremely endearing. As a parent, I simultaneously had the urge to hug and to chide them, which is no small feat! I mean, damn, they did so many morally questionable things, but I just couldn’t help but grin whenever they went for their next horrible decision or scheme. It felt like finding a 2 year old toddler after it ate a chocolate bar and the evidence is smeared all over its face, yet it still claims: No, I didn’t eat that! You don’t know whether you should laugh out loud or give the toddler a stern talking to, which basically describes my feelings for the characters throughout the entire book. To make it even harder, the black humour was on point and Mateo’s thoughts as well as his conversations with Ophelia and Topher were priceless.
Topher that intelligent, suave yet at the same time insecure, gullible and precious sunshine child! I loved him so much; no wonder Mateo and Ophelia grew fond of him, too. Also I need to mention it here, I totally agree with Mateo: Quincy deserves a salary raise! The way this man managed those three chaotic teens while seriously wild things and crazy shit was happening around them was of epic proportions! Quincy’s poker face is the stuff of legend! I stand by that. *lol*
Conclusion:
“An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder” was one hell of a wild and unpredictable ride! Some of the plot twists really got me and the unexpected intensity of the character’s bonds as well as their strong feelings for each other totally took me by surprise. The gory details and darker scenes were something I didn’t expect as well, and I was very happy to find out that this story wasn’t just fluffy and cute. I don’t know if this was just a standalone or the first book in a series – the foundations would be laid – but I’d definitely be up for a sequel! Five stars, this was great and I want more!
______________________________
This story was amazing!
Way darker than I thought it would be and also a lot more gory, but I just loved my three chaos children! They were all so endearing and the found family vibe was strong!
Also Quincy! The man that you are! *lol*
Full RTC soon! Most definitely next week! ;-)
_______________________________
YES! I got an e-ARC for this book from the publisher and NetGalley!
And I’m so ready to dive into this story, because it sounds like a lot of fun and perfect for the #Rainboween readathon I host each year. XD
As for what “An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder” is about:
- A broke witch with a demon attached to his soul – Exorcism direly needed!
- His bestie who’s an astral projection
- A rich guy who has a curse that follows him and kills people
- A deadly magical conspiracy
- One hell of a hungry demon that grows with every magical spell.
If you ask me, that’s the perfect recipe for chaos and I already love it. *lol*
Find me on:
My Blog
Read
September 4, 2025
The Best New Witchy Books to Read This Fall:
This is a queer dark comedy about Mateo, whose bruja mother trapped a demon in his body. But now his mother is missing, and he’s stuck with a demon freeloader. Enter Topher, a rich socialite who thinks he’s been cursed. Matteo’s mother told him never to use magic, but he decides to pretend he knows how to lift the curse for some quick cash from Topher, and then hello, expensive exorcism, and bye-bye, demon. Spoiler: It won’t be that easy. —Liberty Hardy
This is a queer dark comedy about Mateo, whose bruja mother trapped a demon in his body. But now his mother is missing, and he’s stuck with a demon freeloader. Enter Topher, a rich socialite who thinks he’s been cursed. Matteo’s mother told him never to use magic, but he decides to pretend he knows how to lift the curse for some quick cash from Topher, and then hello, expensive exorcism, and bye-bye, demon. Spoiler: It won’t be that easy. —Liberty Hardy
September 8, 2025
The author hooked me in with “accidental cannibalism,” and hot damn, it was not falsely advertised.
If pure disaster energy and S-tier customer service snark could be distilled into espresso syrup and chugged for an unhinged caffeine high, it would be this book.
I have never met three characters so pathetically endearing and so simultaneously ill-suited for any kind of adult task, much less solving a supernatural curse involving blood magic and missing deities. Experiencing their trainwreck attempts to not die (not always successful???) and/or not get other people killed (definitely not successful) was a binge-worthy delight.
The prose was like feasting on a never ending box of sassy little chocolate truffles.
The depth of the character relationships had no right to gut punch me as thoroughly as they did.
One of my favorite, funniest reads of the year, an absolute delight from start to finish.
If pure disaster energy and S-tier customer service snark could be distilled into espresso syrup and chugged for an unhinged caffeine high, it would be this book.
I have never met three characters so pathetically endearing and so simultaneously ill-suited for any kind of adult task, much less solving a supernatural curse involving blood magic and missing deities. Experiencing their trainwreck attempts to not die (not always successful???) and/or not get other people killed (definitely not successful) was a binge-worthy delight.
The prose was like feasting on a never ending box of sassy little chocolate truffles.
The depth of the character relationships had no right to gut punch me as thoroughly as they did.
One of my favorite, funniest reads of the year, an absolute delight from start to finish.
May 2, 2025
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a chance to read this story early for an honest review.
This book was compulsively readable. I picked it up and read it straight through. Mateo was funny, sarcastic, no-nonsense, and spontaneous. It was enjoyable to watch him as he muddled his way through helping Topher and his curse, with Ophelia at his side. Saying too much about the plot will get spoilery and I don’t want to spoil this fresh and engaging story for anyone.
I’m not sure if this is a standalone or the beginning of a series, but I would definitely tune in for the further adventures of Mateo, Ophelia, and Topher.
This book was compulsively readable. I picked it up and read it straight through. Mateo was funny, sarcastic, no-nonsense, and spontaneous. It was enjoyable to watch him as he muddled his way through helping Topher and his curse, with Ophelia at his side. Saying too much about the plot will get spoilery and I don’t want to spoil this fresh and engaging story for anyone.
I’m not sure if this is a standalone or the beginning of a series, but I would definitely tune in for the further adventures of Mateo, Ophelia, and Topher.
July 7, 2025
A world of amateur witchcraft, questionable ethics, and characters so adorably weird you won't know whether to hug them or stage an intervention.
From the very beginning, this book threw me for a loop. I was constantly questioning my own reactions. Ophelia and Mateo, plotting an exploitation scheme? I should be horrified, right? Nope! I was laughing. What does it say about me that I was rooting for these problematic characters? I adore reading about questionable actions and ethics, and this book delivered in spades. It's a testament to the author's skill that they created characters I simultaneously wanted to scold and protect.
I loved this so much! Just be prepared to question your own sanity as you fall in love with these adorable weirdos. They’re delightfully strange, awkward, emotionally stunted, and yet, they never give up on trying to connect with each other. I absolutely loved reading about their clumsy attempts at intimacy. It felt so real, so human, even amidst the magic and mayhem.
The concept of an amateur witch was pure gold. We've all seen the all-knowing, all-powerful magic users, but this? This was relatable. Watching the main character stumble through their abilities, with no real guidance, was like experiencing the magic alongside them, and that made the journey all the more engaging.
And one of the things I appreciate most is how the story explores the characters' identities within a fantastical setting. Seeing how they navigate challenges specific to their gender spectrum, on top of everything else, added such a rich layer to the narrative. It's this kind of representation that makes these genres so vital and exciting.
The emotions in this book just unfolded so naturally, it was like being slowly reeled in, savoring every moment of connection and growth.
From the very beginning, this book threw me for a loop. I was constantly questioning my own reactions. Ophelia and Mateo, plotting an exploitation scheme? I should be horrified, right? Nope! I was laughing. What does it say about me that I was rooting for these problematic characters? I adore reading about questionable actions and ethics, and this book delivered in spades. It's a testament to the author's skill that they created characters I simultaneously wanted to scold and protect.
I loved this so much! Just be prepared to question your own sanity as you fall in love with these adorable weirdos. They’re delightfully strange, awkward, emotionally stunted, and yet, they never give up on trying to connect with each other. I absolutely loved reading about their clumsy attempts at intimacy. It felt so real, so human, even amidst the magic and mayhem.
The concept of an amateur witch was pure gold. We've all seen the all-knowing, all-powerful magic users, but this? This was relatable. Watching the main character stumble through their abilities, with no real guidance, was like experiencing the magic alongside them, and that made the journey all the more engaging.
And one of the things I appreciate most is how the story explores the characters' identities within a fantastical setting. Seeing how they navigate challenges specific to their gender spectrum, on top of everything else, added such a rich layer to the narrative. It's this kind of representation that makes these genres so vital and exciting.
The emotions in this book just unfolded so naturally, it was like being slowly reeled in, savoring every moment of connection and growth.
November 8, 2025
I'm only halfway through, so don't take this review as my Final Judgment (TM) ...
... but so far it's an unmitigated delight, and since the number of ratings on GR so far is fairly low, plus this is K. Valentin's first published novel, I figured I'd give it whatever signal boost I can. N.B. there's some significant body horror, but speaking as someone who generally hates that shit, it's manageable.
ETA:
Maybe I should have known, given how early the gooey black ichor showed up, that this was going to be not so much horror-adjacent as horror-squashed-up-against. And I'm not sure, even having slept on the question, whether I think the novel is functioning in two registers that don't quite harmonize, or seamlessly integrating bleak, disturbing elements into a queer new-adult narrative featuring young men who communicate poorly.
There's this:
Each of these things is not like the other, right?
But whether the aspects of "An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder" mesh seamlessly or not, I read it pretty much straight through, not setting it aside even for hockey romance -- which is saying something. I would, however, like to have a little chat with K. Valentin about a drive-by shot taken at nineteenth-century novels. It's not their fault you had crappy lit teachers!
Thanks to Alcove Press and NetGalley for the ARC.
... but so far it's an unmitigated delight, and since the number of ratings on GR so far is fairly low, plus this is K. Valentin's first published novel, I figured I'd give it whatever signal boost I can. N.B. there's some significant body horror, but speaking as someone who generally hates that shit, it's manageable.
ETA:
Maybe I should have known, given how early the gooey black ichor showed up, that this was going to be not so much horror-adjacent as horror-squashed-up-against. And I'm not sure, even having slept on the question, whether I think the novel is functioning in two registers that don't quite harmonize, or seamlessly integrating bleak, disturbing elements into a queer new-adult narrative featuring young men who communicate poorly.
There's this:
“This is Ophelia, the colleague I mentioned,” Mateo says a little louder, gesturing at her.And there's also this, which is a possible spoiler:
“Yo,” Ophelia says without moving, and Mateo realizes that he should have had a customer service conversation with her.
Each of these things is not like the other, right?
But whether the aspects of "An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder" mesh seamlessly or not, I read it pretty much straight through, not setting it aside even for hockey romance -- which is saying something. I would, however, like to have a little chat with K. Valentin about a drive-by shot taken at nineteenth-century novels. It's not their fault you had crappy lit teachers!
Thanks to Alcove Press and NetGalley for the ARC.
October 18, 2025
I read an early version of this and it’s amazing and perfect.
ETA: Have now read the officially published version, and it is still amazing and perfect
ETA: Have now read the officially published version, and it is still amazing and perfect
December 15, 2025
3.75 stars
Okay so demon possession stories are usually really not my jam, but mention chaos queers, accidental cannibalism, and ‘for fans of Tamsyn Muir’, and I am so sold. An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is just pure unhinged disaster energy in book form, and I had an absolute blast devouring it.
Now, there’s quite a lot going on in this book, but somehow K. Valentin makes it work. In a nutshell, it’s the story of a wannabe witch with a demon trapped in his body (thanks mom) who pretends to be an Occult Specialist together with his astral-projecting best friend to get money for an exorcism, only for their first client to be a rich, naive nepo baby with a curse that keeps killing people around him and who might be at the heart of a deadly magical conspiracy. Also doesn’t help that said nepo baby gives big golden retriever vibes and is too cute to resist falling for.
Mateo, Ophelia, and Topher have to be three of the most pathetically incompetent characters I have met in a while, but I love these adorable weirdos in all their messy glory. It truly felt like watching a trainwreck unfold in real time as they desperately try to solve a supernatural curse involving blood magic and missing deities without dying or getting anyone else killed (both of which they definitely failed real bad at), and I was just revelling in all the charming chaos of it all.
I do have to say that I personally preferred the internal conflicts and messy interpersonal dynamics over all the action-packed supernatural shenanigans and demon weirdness, and I wouldn't have minded some more development of the romantic bond between Christopher and Mateo. That said, I think Valentin strikes a good balance between action and emotion, and I really appreciated how this book leans hard into dark fantasy fun but then also manages to sneak in real personal stakes, tender moments, and a surprisingly touching exploration of power, inheritance, generational trauma, and love in all its complicated beauty.
The final act and concluding chapters of An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder might have felt a bit rushed, but ultimately I am still left feeling utterly satisfied. Though while this works perfectly well as a standalone, I would love to return to this world and reunite with these characters for more wild adventures with them. I had a blast listening to this audiobook, and I would definitely recommend this if you are in the mood for a queer contemporary fantasy that’s effortlessly funny, more than a little unhinged, and oddly cozy and full of heart for a story that involves murder, curses, and a demon with a taste for humans.
Okay so demon possession stories are usually really not my jam, but mention chaos queers, accidental cannibalism, and ‘for fans of Tamsyn Muir’, and I am so sold. An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is just pure unhinged disaster energy in book form, and I had an absolute blast devouring it.
Now, there’s quite a lot going on in this book, but somehow K. Valentin makes it work. In a nutshell, it’s the story of a wannabe witch with a demon trapped in his body (thanks mom) who pretends to be an Occult Specialist together with his astral-projecting best friend to get money for an exorcism, only for their first client to be a rich, naive nepo baby with a curse that keeps killing people around him and who might be at the heart of a deadly magical conspiracy. Also doesn’t help that said nepo baby gives big golden retriever vibes and is too cute to resist falling for.
Mateo, Ophelia, and Topher have to be three of the most pathetically incompetent characters I have met in a while, but I love these adorable weirdos in all their messy glory. It truly felt like watching a trainwreck unfold in real time as they desperately try to solve a supernatural curse involving blood magic and missing deities without dying or getting anyone else killed (both of which they definitely failed real bad at), and I was just revelling in all the charming chaos of it all.
I do have to say that I personally preferred the internal conflicts and messy interpersonal dynamics over all the action-packed supernatural shenanigans and demon weirdness, and I wouldn't have minded some more development of the romantic bond between Christopher and Mateo. That said, I think Valentin strikes a good balance between action and emotion, and I really appreciated how this book leans hard into dark fantasy fun but then also manages to sneak in real personal stakes, tender moments, and a surprisingly touching exploration of power, inheritance, generational trauma, and love in all its complicated beauty.
The final act and concluding chapters of An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder might have felt a bit rushed, but ultimately I am still left feeling utterly satisfied. Though while this works perfectly well as a standalone, I would love to return to this world and reunite with these characters for more wild adventures with them. I had a blast listening to this audiobook, and I would definitely recommend this if you are in the mood for a queer contemporary fantasy that’s effortlessly funny, more than a little unhinged, and oddly cozy and full of heart for a story that involves murder, curses, and a demon with a taste for humans.
November 12, 2025
I really liked this! But I’m not sure the cover and marketing give exactly the right expectations. It looks a lot like a paranormal romcom, and the description calls it, “charming queer romantic fantasy.” In actuality, it had a lot of humor but also a lot of dark and brutal stuff (like horrific pain and eating people kind of dark), with only a hint of romance, but it was still overall hopeful. Again, not complaining about the book, just want people to know what they’re getting, and I think the author balanced the humor and darkness really well without compromising either!
I have a few more things to say that are going to sound like complaints, but they’re not, just be patient. Mateo was so judgy at the start of the book and felt like the things happening to Topher would never happen to anyone else because no one else would ever be that awkward and anxious. But I gotta be honest, I could totally imagine those things happening to me, so I felt for Topher 😅 And I don’t dislike Mateo, despite his judginess or how he started the book off basically just using Topher for his money. He had had a hard life and was in a bad situation and didn’t even understand his own feelings about things, and he grew over the course of the book, but still kept his humor and attitude. And I liked that Topher was a seemingly contradictory mix of personality traits, because that’s how people often are, we don’t fit into neat boxes that make sense to everyone else. Sometimes he was an anxious mess. Sometimes he was confident. That makes sense to me and made him feel much more real than if he’d just been one or the other. Ophelia was also a good character, intimidating but honestly sort of holding this whole investigation together.
The plot was good too. I didn’t figure the mystery out, but I enjoyed it. And all the magic and demon stuff was fun.
This was a complete story, but the way that it ended feels like it could be the start of a series. There’s still a lot that could be continued or explored more. Don’t quote me on that though, it’s just a hunch.
The audiobook narration by Giordan Diaz was good. To be honest, he is not my favorite narrator (though I like him enough to still listen to him) because he’s not the most natural-sounding, but his narration style worked well for this book and this character. And voices were different enough to tell characters apart.
Overall, this had some dark moments but was still funny and fun with magic and mystery and lovable characters!
*Rating: 4 Stars // Read Date: 2025 // Format: Audiobook*
Recommended For:
Anyone who likes humor, magic/paranormal, some dark and brutal stuff, but also hope, strong friendship, and just a touch of romance.
Original Review @ Metaphors and Moonlight
I have a few more things to say that are going to sound like complaints, but they’re not, just be patient. Mateo was so judgy at the start of the book and felt like the things happening to Topher would never happen to anyone else because no one else would ever be that awkward and anxious. But I gotta be honest, I could totally imagine those things happening to me, so I felt for Topher 😅 And I don’t dislike Mateo, despite his judginess or how he started the book off basically just using Topher for his money. He had had a hard life and was in a bad situation and didn’t even understand his own feelings about things, and he grew over the course of the book, but still kept his humor and attitude. And I liked that Topher was a seemingly contradictory mix of personality traits, because that’s how people often are, we don’t fit into neat boxes that make sense to everyone else. Sometimes he was an anxious mess. Sometimes he was confident. That makes sense to me and made him feel much more real than if he’d just been one or the other. Ophelia was also a good character, intimidating but honestly sort of holding this whole investigation together.
The plot was good too. I didn’t figure the mystery out, but I enjoyed it. And all the magic and demon stuff was fun.
This was a complete story, but the way that it ended feels like it could be the start of a series. There’s still a lot that could be continued or explored more. Don’t quote me on that though, it’s just a hunch.
The audiobook narration by Giordan Diaz was good. To be honest, he is not my favorite narrator (though I like him enough to still listen to him) because he’s not the most natural-sounding, but his narration style worked well for this book and this character. And voices were different enough to tell characters apart.
Overall, this had some dark moments but was still funny and fun with magic and mystery and lovable characters!
*Rating: 4 Stars // Read Date: 2025 // Format: Audiobook*
Recommended For:
Anyone who likes humor, magic/paranormal, some dark and brutal stuff, but also hope, strong friendship, and just a touch of romance.
Original Review @ Metaphors and Moonlight
October 5, 2025
Thank you so much @alcovepress for the advanced copy to review!
I had so much fun with this book. It was witty and sarcastic and funny but also like, a little creepy and campy with a side of horror. I LOVED Mateo, oh my god he was such a lovable mess. And Topher?? He surprised me in the best way. Also can’t forget Ophelia!!!
One of the things I loved most about this book being a more fantasy driven story was that the world building was not extensive and I felt like I could follow it easily.
Mateo’s inner monologue was so much fun, and I loved the storyline here. I had a blast discovering the clues along with the crew, and I felt like the ending was extremely satisfying and also quite poetic/romantic when you think about it.
I’m so happy I preordered this one and I cannot wait for the art!!! @kvalentinwrites so there’s gonna be another book right…I feel like this could be an epic series???
Out on 10/14!!
I had so much fun with this book. It was witty and sarcastic and funny but also like, a little creepy and campy with a side of horror. I LOVED Mateo, oh my god he was such a lovable mess. And Topher?? He surprised me in the best way. Also can’t forget Ophelia!!!
One of the things I loved most about this book being a more fantasy driven story was that the world building was not extensive and I felt like I could follow it easily.
Mateo’s inner monologue was so much fun, and I loved the storyline here. I had a blast discovering the clues along with the crew, and I felt like the ending was extremely satisfying and also quite poetic/romantic when you think about it.
I’m so happy I preordered this one and I cannot wait for the art!!! @kvalentinwrites so there’s gonna be another book right…I feel like this could be an epic series???
Out on 10/14!!
October 23, 2025
If you are looking for the PERFECT last minute Halloween read with a compelling story, tons of found family, and HILARIOUS banter, you HAVE to check out An Amateur Witch's Guide to Murder! I seriously cannot believe this book is K. Valetin's debut - the plot is fast-moving and fun and I was never bored. You've got cannibalistic demons and witch curses and astral projection, but don't worry, it's not scary AT ALL. It's really just delightful, campy fun. I'm here right now BEGGING you to read it so that the author will have a chance to write more in this world- I NEED IT!
The story primarily follows Mateo Borrero, who was cursed by his own mother to house a demon. She abandons him, so he struggles with his demonic possession AND being on his own along with his best friend Ophelia. When Mateo is inadvertently given the opportunity to remove a curse from Topher, who might be the most adorably oblivious human on earth, he figures it will be easy money. Little does he know he's getting mixed up in something MUCH more sinister that will bring as many questions as it does answers about magic and witchcraft.
While I loved Matteo and Topher, and their very slow burn romance was really quite sweet, I'll be honest, I was HERE for Matteo's incredibly intense platonic relationship with Ophelia (who is definitely my favorite character in the book). They are so incredibly devoted to each other, and I loved their dynamic. I felt like Matteo's relationship with Topher was really just beginning when the story ended - I REALLY wanted more! The romance, however, really is secondary to the crazy paranormal plot, though, so I wasn't worried about it.
Let me gush about the audiobook for a second. While K. Valentin's story is great on it's own, I LOVED Giordan Diaz's narration adds SO much to it. His comedic timing is impeccable, and I found myself laughing out loud more than once. Definitely a narrator I'll be looking for more from in the future! Both the book and audiobook are out now - make sure to grab them, you don't want to miss out!
The story primarily follows Mateo Borrero, who was cursed by his own mother to house a demon. She abandons him, so he struggles with his demonic possession AND being on his own along with his best friend Ophelia. When Mateo is inadvertently given the opportunity to remove a curse from Topher, who might be the most adorably oblivious human on earth, he figures it will be easy money. Little does he know he's getting mixed up in something MUCH more sinister that will bring as many questions as it does answers about magic and witchcraft.
While I loved Matteo and Topher, and their very slow burn romance was really quite sweet, I'll be honest, I was HERE for Matteo's incredibly intense platonic relationship with Ophelia (who is definitely my favorite character in the book). They are so incredibly devoted to each other, and I loved their dynamic. I felt like Matteo's relationship with Topher was really just beginning when the story ended - I REALLY wanted more! The romance, however, really is secondary to the crazy paranormal plot, though, so I wasn't worried about it.
Let me gush about the audiobook for a second. While K. Valentin's story is great on it's own, I LOVED Giordan Diaz's narration adds SO much to it. His comedic timing is impeccable, and I found myself laughing out loud more than once. Definitely a narrator I'll be looking for more from in the future! Both the book and audiobook are out now - make sure to grab them, you don't want to miss out!
June 26, 2025
I don’t think there’s a page I read where I didn’t laugh or smile at—that’s how funny and morbid (excuse my dark humor) this book was! The characters were so distinct and I was intrigued by the demon possession. Valentin knows how to write a compelling story with just the right pace to keep me reading and neglecting my responsibilities in the real world. The plot twist definitely got me, because I fell for a red herring and was dying on that hill.
Mateo, Topher, and Ophelia have my heart and that’s never changing.
And Ulla too!
Mateo, Topher, and Ophelia have my heart and that’s never changing.
And Ulla too!
January 14, 2026
Loved this story about Mateo, the titular amateur witch, and his best friend Ophelia and new client Topher. So funny, with a fast paced plot that continually surprised me. New fave!
October 5, 2025
What a charming read! An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder felt like the perfect fall book warm, whimsical, and just a little bit spooky. Between the small-town charm, quirky neighbors, and all the magical mishaps, I couldn’t help but fall in love with this story.
Mateo was such a fun main character snarky, chaotic, and full of heart and his dynamic with Topher absolutely made this book for me. Their banter had me grinning, and every time a spell went wrong (which was often), I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough. The blend of humor, heart, and a dash of danger gave this cozy fantasy mystery the perfect balance.
The writing was witty and light but still packed with enough intrigue to keep me guessing. It’s the kind of story that makes you want to curl up with a blanket, a cup of tea, and just keep reading “one more chapter.”
A magical, cozy escape I’ll be recommending to anyone who loves witchy mysteries with lovable chaos and big found-family energy. Thanks to Alcove Press for the gifted ARC
Mateo was such a fun main character snarky, chaotic, and full of heart and his dynamic with Topher absolutely made this book for me. Their banter had me grinning, and every time a spell went wrong (which was often), I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough. The blend of humor, heart, and a dash of danger gave this cozy fantasy mystery the perfect balance.
The writing was witty and light but still packed with enough intrigue to keep me guessing. It’s the kind of story that makes you want to curl up with a blanket, a cup of tea, and just keep reading “one more chapter.”
A magical, cozy escape I’ll be recommending to anyone who loves witchy mysteries with lovable chaos and big found-family energy. Thanks to Alcove Press for the gifted ARC
July 5, 2025
IF WE DONT GET A SEQUEL WHERE WE WATCH MATEO AND TOPHER AWKWARDLY TRY TO FIGURE OUT THEIR FEELINGS I'LL RIOT.
Also Ophelia and Ulla or even Ophelia and Quincy would be a fun match.
Also Ophelia and Ulla or even Ophelia and Quincy would be a fun match.
October 21, 2025
I wanted to like this more than I did, but I think this was a case of the synopsis setting me up with the wrong expectations. I was expecting a paranormal comedic mystery and instead I got a paranormal romcom, and I have very high expectations for MM romance written by women after getting burnt out on them a couple years ago. So this is likely just a me thing since this has gotten many other lovely reviews.
For a rom com I didn't find it funny, but then again I find cringe humor too embarassing to laugh at it and this was mostly cringe in the Millennial/Gen Z style of cringe. I liked the mystery better than the romance, but the story was heavy on romance and the mystery was fairly predictable. For a paranormal romance it had several refreshing elements in a genre that uses the same tired creatures too often. I appreciated its focus on demons and gods instead of vampires and werewolves.
I also loved how the MMC, Mateo, was a Latino wannabe brujo and a goth boy who wore makeup. So often you see too many hypermasculine men in MM. I also loved his sweet friendship with his roommate Ophelia, also afflicted with a cruel supernatural family.
Mateo's mother, an evil witch, cursed him with a demon posssession when he was a child; he now clerks retail, when a hapless rich boy named Topher becomes his new employee. Except Topher actually wants to hire him to help him get rid of a curse that causes bad things to happen to the people around him.
My main issue with these two was that I thought they had zero chemistry and I found Topher to be extremely annoying. He babbled excessively in a way that made me just want to slap him, and I usually find babbling charming.
I found Mateo's predicament interesting and for a debut the writing was fine, but I just wasn't won over by the romance. Also why do people have to make out in the middle of deadly fight scenes to show their feelings. But I digress.
People who exclusively read MM will likely find more to love here than I did. Again, this may just be me being asexual not seeing the chemistry or romantic tension, not the fault of the writing. I also appreciated how this wasn't spicy and their main sexy scenes were brief makeout scenes.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
For a rom com I didn't find it funny, but then again I find cringe humor too embarassing to laugh at it and this was mostly cringe in the Millennial/Gen Z style of cringe. I liked the mystery better than the romance, but the story was heavy on romance and the mystery was fairly predictable. For a paranormal romance it had several refreshing elements in a genre that uses the same tired creatures too often. I appreciated its focus on demons and gods instead of vampires and werewolves.
I also loved how the MMC, Mateo, was a Latino wannabe brujo and a goth boy who wore makeup. So often you see too many hypermasculine men in MM. I also loved his sweet friendship with his roommate Ophelia, also afflicted with a cruel supernatural family.
Mateo's mother, an evil witch, cursed him with a demon posssession when he was a child; he now clerks retail, when a hapless rich boy named Topher becomes his new employee. Except Topher actually wants to hire him to help him get rid of a curse that causes bad things to happen to the people around him.
My main issue with these two was that I thought they had zero chemistry and I found Topher to be extremely annoying. He babbled excessively in a way that made me just want to slap him, and I usually find babbling charming.
I found Mateo's predicament interesting and for a debut the writing was fine, but I just wasn't won over by the romance. Also why do people have to make out in the middle of deadly fight scenes to show their feelings. But I digress.
People who exclusively read MM will likely find more to love here than I did. Again, this may just be me being asexual not seeing the chemistry or romantic tension, not the fault of the writing. I also appreciated how this wasn't spicy and their main sexy scenes were brief makeout scenes.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
July 24, 2025
This is fun, ridiculous, and with splatters of gore. Mateo is a goth, the son of a very powerful witch and has a demon trapped inside him. He is trying his best to get an exorcism but they ain't cheap. His best friend (only friend and house mate) Ophelia has a no-nonsense attitude, is an astralprojector and the only thing she cares deeply about is Mateo.
They need money bad, so the are very happy when Topher needs help. He is loaded and desperate. Nothing goes to plan.
This is an absolute escaped of a paranormal adventure. The dynamic between the characters is hilarious and interesting, I really enjoyed the interaction. They are witty and trying their best to cope with their circumstances.
I want to thank the author K. Valentin, NetGalley and the publisher for trusting me with an eARC of this bewitching book.
They need money bad, so the are very happy when Topher needs help. He is loaded and desperate. Nothing goes to plan.
This is an absolute escaped of a paranormal adventure. The dynamic between the characters is hilarious and interesting, I really enjoyed the interaction. They are witty and trying their best to cope with their circumstances.
I want to thank the author K. Valentin, NetGalley and the publisher for trusting me with an eARC of this bewitching book.
July 2, 2025
Thanks so much to NetGalley for the free Kindle book. My review is voluntarily given, and my opinions are my own.
This book was so good! I thought that I had it figured it out, but there were so many twists and turns that I never saw coming. No possible way I would have even guessed them. If there was any foreshadowing, I sure didn't catch it.
So much going on here. Mateo, who is possessed by a demon (because of a unknown spell his mother did), agrees to help Topher, who they believe has been cursed with bad luck by a witch. Such bad luck that people are dying around him in the most horrible ways. I definitely don't think I would take the case. Give him the phone number of someone else and hope they don't die from Topher's bad luck. Or maybe help because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if the person I sent him to died. Good thing I don't have to make those decisions.
Definitely would recommend this book. For those wondering, no smut in the book. Unless you are homophobic and count two men kissing as smut.
Would love to see a sequel to this novel. Really hope that happens!
This book was so good! I thought that I had it figured it out, but there were so many twists and turns that I never saw coming. No possible way I would have even guessed them. If there was any foreshadowing, I sure didn't catch it.
So much going on here. Mateo, who is possessed by a demon (because of a unknown spell his mother did), agrees to help Topher, who they believe has been cursed with bad luck by a witch. Such bad luck that people are dying around him in the most horrible ways. I definitely don't think I would take the case. Give him the phone number of someone else and hope they don't die from Topher's bad luck. Or maybe help because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if the person I sent him to died. Good thing I don't have to make those decisions.
Definitely would recommend this book. For those wondering, no smut in the book. Unless you are homophobic and count two men kissing as smut.
Would love to see a sequel to this novel. Really hope that happens!
October 15, 2025
3.75 rounded up to 4⭐️ because it’s a debut that actually earns it.
Topher’s life reads like a Final Destination script that forgot to end. People around him keep dying in increasingly bizarre ways, and it’s not hyperbole to say he’s the human embodiment of “something bad’s about to happen.” Enter Mateo...a slightly cursed amateur witch with a dark passenger lurking under his skin who is tasked with finding the cause of Topher’s bad luck and maybe solving a murder or two while he’s at it.
What follows is a deliciously offbeat tangle of magic, grief, and morally questionable decision-making. Valentin builds a world of amateur witchcraft and accidental necromancy with a kind of earnest chaos that feels strangely comforting. The characters are a mess in the best way—awkward, emotionally stunted, and constantly reaching for connection with trembling hands. There’s something deeply endearing about how hard they try, even when they keep getting it wrong. Mateo and Topher’s attempts at intimacy are tentative, almost shy, and while I loved the softness of those moments, I wanted more foundation beneath the flirtation. A spark is good; a slow-building warmth would have made it unforgettable. The book hints at something that could be truly affecting, but right now, it’s all sparks and no hearth. I don’t need explicit intimacy, but I do need something sturdier than heart-shaped breadcrumbs.
A few plot threads veered into predictable territory (I clocked one twist before it even had time to smirk at me), but it’s forgivable for a debut that clearly has larger plans. And it does feel like the beginning of something, whether the author intended it or not. The final chapters carry the weight of a world just starting to open up.
In the end, An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is messy, charming, and brimming with potential. It’s a story about people trying—really trying—to connect, to survive their own magic, and to forgive themselves for the wreckage they leave behind. And honestly? That’s a kind of witchcraft I’ll always show up for.
*ARC provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Topher’s life reads like a Final Destination script that forgot to end. People around him keep dying in increasingly bizarre ways, and it’s not hyperbole to say he’s the human embodiment of “something bad’s about to happen.” Enter Mateo...a slightly cursed amateur witch with a dark passenger lurking under his skin who is tasked with finding the cause of Topher’s bad luck and maybe solving a murder or two while he’s at it.
What follows is a deliciously offbeat tangle of magic, grief, and morally questionable decision-making. Valentin builds a world of amateur witchcraft and accidental necromancy with a kind of earnest chaos that feels strangely comforting. The characters are a mess in the best way—awkward, emotionally stunted, and constantly reaching for connection with trembling hands. There’s something deeply endearing about how hard they try, even when they keep getting it wrong. Mateo and Topher’s attempts at intimacy are tentative, almost shy, and while I loved the softness of those moments, I wanted more foundation beneath the flirtation. A spark is good; a slow-building warmth would have made it unforgettable. The book hints at something that could be truly affecting, but right now, it’s all sparks and no hearth. I don’t need explicit intimacy, but I do need something sturdier than heart-shaped breadcrumbs.
A few plot threads veered into predictable territory (I clocked one twist before it even had time to smirk at me), but it’s forgivable for a debut that clearly has larger plans. And it does feel like the beginning of something, whether the author intended it or not. The final chapters carry the weight of a world just starting to open up.
In the end, An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is messy, charming, and brimming with potential. It’s a story about people trying—really trying—to connect, to survive their own magic, and to forgive themselves for the wreckage they leave behind. And honestly? That’s a kind of witchcraft I’ll always show up for.
*ARC provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
October 9, 2025
Nothing draws me in more than a cover that pops and no one can say An Amatuer Witch’s Guide to Murder doesn’t grab you and demand to be read. Much like the feelings I have about a truly unforgettable cover, the story had so much to keep you guessing, as well as a mystery (or better yet mysteries) to solve, that you really can’t put it down until you know more.
Mateo is possessed. Not only that, but it’s a demon that possessed him and his mother is the one who put it there. Now she’s up and disappeared and all he has is a stupid t-shirt. Actually, it’s a spell book, but he isn’t able to figure out how to get the demon out himself. With no money and no luck, he’s turned to magic work to save up enough to pay someone to help.
In walks a new hire at work, Topher, who isn’t exactly there by chance. He’s looking for Mateo to help HIM. It feels more like he may have stalked himself into a job, but who am I to judge? (I have never done that, but get that bag, babes) They have a bit of a symbiotic relationship throughout the story and are definitely both in over their heads if it wasn’t for the cast of characters that are involved throughout.
This gave a bit of Scooby Doo, as well as some Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and maybe even a little Assistant to the Villain. I loved the banter, the attitude, the playfulness, and the all around good time I had while reading it.
Thank you to Alcove Press & NetGalley for my gifted ALC.
Mateo is possessed. Not only that, but it’s a demon that possessed him and his mother is the one who put it there. Now she’s up and disappeared and all he has is a stupid t-shirt. Actually, it’s a spell book, but he isn’t able to figure out how to get the demon out himself. With no money and no luck, he’s turned to magic work to save up enough to pay someone to help.
In walks a new hire at work, Topher, who isn’t exactly there by chance. He’s looking for Mateo to help HIM. It feels more like he may have stalked himself into a job, but who am I to judge? (I have never done that, but get that bag, babes) They have a bit of a symbiotic relationship throughout the story and are definitely both in over their heads if it wasn’t for the cast of characters that are involved throughout.
This gave a bit of Scooby Doo, as well as some Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and maybe even a little Assistant to the Villain. I loved the banter, the attitude, the playfulness, and the all around good time I had while reading it.
Thank you to Alcove Press & NetGalley for my gifted ALC.
May 9, 2025
Thank you NetGalley and the Publisher for an ARC of this book.
This was a fun read with mystery, magic and a little romance.
I really liked how the characters interacted with each other and getting to explore the different types of magic within the book.
If this becomes a series I would be interested in picking it up.
This was a fun read with mystery, magic and a little romance.
I really liked how the characters interacted with each other and getting to explore the different types of magic within the book.
If this becomes a series I would be interested in picking it up.
July 28, 2025
Thank you Alcove Press and NetGalley for the ARC!
This was such a fun book!!! The cover grabbed my attention right away, the description was solid, and I liked Mateo from the very beginning. The plot felt really unique, and it was so fun getting to explore their world and play detective alongside them, trying to figure out what on earth was going on with poor Topher (who, by the way, was an absolute sweetheart and I’d do anything for him). Every time he launched into one of his anxious rambles, I died laughing. He’s so adorable.
The friendship between Mateo and Ophelia was great too, especially considering all the chaos they found themselves in. The book had a perfect mix of humor, horror, gore, and mystery. The demonic aspect added a really cool twist! It felt different, and I kept gasping and wondering what was going to happen to Mateo if they couldn’t figure things out in time.
The chapters were short, around five pages each (some longer, some shorter), which made it way too easy to fall into the “Okay, just one more chapter… What’s five more pages?” trap. I flew through it and couldn’t put it down😂
This was such a fun book!!! The cover grabbed my attention right away, the description was solid, and I liked Mateo from the very beginning. The plot felt really unique, and it was so fun getting to explore their world and play detective alongside them, trying to figure out what on earth was going on with poor Topher (who, by the way, was an absolute sweetheart and I’d do anything for him). Every time he launched into one of his anxious rambles, I died laughing. He’s so adorable.
The friendship between Mateo and Ophelia was great too, especially considering all the chaos they found themselves in. The book had a perfect mix of humor, horror, gore, and mystery. The demonic aspect added a really cool twist! It felt different, and I kept gasping and wondering what was going to happen to Mateo if they couldn’t figure things out in time.
The chapters were short, around five pages each (some longer, some shorter), which made it way too easy to fall into the “Okay, just one more chapter… What’s five more pages?” trap. I flew through it and couldn’t put it down😂
October 12, 2025
An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder by K. Valentin
Thank you to Alcove Press and BookSparks for my gifted book.
If sarcasm was an Olympic sport, Mateo Borrero would have several medals and a demon possession problem. An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is the spellbinding queer disaster comedy of my Halloween dreams. It’s got curses, con artistry, demon goo, and an aggressively gentle love interest with the emotional fragility of a wet paper napkin. I loved every absurd, unhinged minute.
Let’s set the cauldron scene: Mateo is broke, bitter, and possessed by a demon his mother installed like cursed antivirus software. She’s been missing for five years, probably off ruining someone else’s life, and in her wake, she left her magically-inexperienced son and a lot of unresolved trauma. Magic? Not allowed. Power? Untapped. Coping mechanisms? Mostly sarcasm and evasion. Naturally, Mateo decides to launch a magical side hustle as an “Occult Specialist,” despite having the experience level of a YouTube DIY fail. He’s joined in this brilliant scheme by Ophelia, his terrifyingly ride-or-die best friend, who astral projects out of awkward conversations like it’s a defense mechanism. Together, they’re barely functioning adults with vibes, a bowl of salt, and rent due.
Enter Topher—clueless, cursed, and rich. He’s the walking embodiment of a golden retriever with anxiety. He wants someone to break the mysterious bad-luck curse that keeps turning everyone around him into accidental casualties. Mateo, seeing dollar signs and zero qualifications, takes the job because bills wait for no witch. What follows is a murder-mystery-curse-exorcism-conspiracy-existential-nightmare with a dash of awkward yearning and frequent emotional whiplash. Oh, and the more magic Mateo uses to “help,” the more his internal demon starts making Yelp reviews about who he’d like to eat next. Fun!
Topher is sunshine personified, but make it tragic. He is endearingly sincere in a world that wants to kill him every time he dares to form an attachment. Watching him slowly bond with Mateo—who responds to affection like it’s a personal attack—was honestly the weirdest romance arc I’ve rooted for in a long time. But it works. Mateo’s distrust meets Topher’s optimism in a deliciously slow-burn mess that somehow pulls off tenderness amid magical doom.
And Ophelia? She’s the spooky season bestie we all deserve. Sharp as a blade, emotionally constipated, fiercely loyal, and clearly the most qualified person in the room. I would 100% let her haunt my apartment and offer unsolicited advice while floating above my bed. The Mateo-Ophelia dynamic carries so much depth and codependent affection it nearly eclipses the romantic subplot—and frankly, I wouldn’t be mad if this was just a found family series about these two dragging each other through life.
The plot unfolds like someone lit a fuse and walked away. There’s a cursed house, blood rituals, demon politics, and at least one evil wizard with an unfortunate fashion sense. The mystery at the heart of it all twists and turns just enough to keep you on your toes, even if you might sniff out the villain a little early. But let’s be real, this book isn’t about airtight whodunits. It’s about the characters trying—and frequently failing—to be functional while wading through trauma, magical bureaucracy, and their own disaster emotions.
K. Valentin’s writing is full of razor-edged humor and emotional undercurrents you don’t see coming. One minute you’re laughing at a joke about cursed customer service, and the next you’re reeling from a line about abandonment that hits way too close to home. The prose walks that line between absurd and sincere with the balance of a circus tightrope act. And if you’re a sucker for inner monologues that drip with fatalism, sass, and an underlying sense of doom? You’ll eat this up.
Favorite line?
“Is it still cannibalism if the demon technically pays rent in your ribcage?”
Honestly, that sums up the vibe. Equal parts horrific and hilarious.
If you’re looking for a cozy read, but your version of cozy includes mild gore, demonic possession, and emotional damage disguised as banter, An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is your next obsession. It’s Legends & Lattes if you replaced coffee with blood rituals and added a bisexual exorcist with mommy issues. It’s Dead Like Me meets T.J. Klune with way more sarcasm and just enough murder to keep things festive.
Final verdict? Give me three more books about this cursed trio, a spinoff for Ophelia, and a deluxe edition with annotations from the demon’s POV.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 (4.5 out of 5 stars)
#AnAmateurWitchsGuideToMurder #BookSparks #NetGalley #QueerFantasy #SpookySeasonRead #FallBooks #LGBTQFantasy #FoundFamily #WitchyReads #DemonDrama #BookReview #UrbanFantasyReads #FantasyDebut #CozyMacabre #DarkComedyFantasy #KValentin #WitchBooks #ParanormalMystery #BooksThatBiteBack
Thank you to Alcove Press and BookSparks for my gifted book.
If sarcasm was an Olympic sport, Mateo Borrero would have several medals and a demon possession problem. An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is the spellbinding queer disaster comedy of my Halloween dreams. It’s got curses, con artistry, demon goo, and an aggressively gentle love interest with the emotional fragility of a wet paper napkin. I loved every absurd, unhinged minute.
Let’s set the cauldron scene: Mateo is broke, bitter, and possessed by a demon his mother installed like cursed antivirus software. She’s been missing for five years, probably off ruining someone else’s life, and in her wake, she left her magically-inexperienced son and a lot of unresolved trauma. Magic? Not allowed. Power? Untapped. Coping mechanisms? Mostly sarcasm and evasion. Naturally, Mateo decides to launch a magical side hustle as an “Occult Specialist,” despite having the experience level of a YouTube DIY fail. He’s joined in this brilliant scheme by Ophelia, his terrifyingly ride-or-die best friend, who astral projects out of awkward conversations like it’s a defense mechanism. Together, they’re barely functioning adults with vibes, a bowl of salt, and rent due.
Enter Topher—clueless, cursed, and rich. He’s the walking embodiment of a golden retriever with anxiety. He wants someone to break the mysterious bad-luck curse that keeps turning everyone around him into accidental casualties. Mateo, seeing dollar signs and zero qualifications, takes the job because bills wait for no witch. What follows is a murder-mystery-curse-exorcism-conspiracy-existential-nightmare with a dash of awkward yearning and frequent emotional whiplash. Oh, and the more magic Mateo uses to “help,” the more his internal demon starts making Yelp reviews about who he’d like to eat next. Fun!
Topher is sunshine personified, but make it tragic. He is endearingly sincere in a world that wants to kill him every time he dares to form an attachment. Watching him slowly bond with Mateo—who responds to affection like it’s a personal attack—was honestly the weirdest romance arc I’ve rooted for in a long time. But it works. Mateo’s distrust meets Topher’s optimism in a deliciously slow-burn mess that somehow pulls off tenderness amid magical doom.
And Ophelia? She’s the spooky season bestie we all deserve. Sharp as a blade, emotionally constipated, fiercely loyal, and clearly the most qualified person in the room. I would 100% let her haunt my apartment and offer unsolicited advice while floating above my bed. The Mateo-Ophelia dynamic carries so much depth and codependent affection it nearly eclipses the romantic subplot—and frankly, I wouldn’t be mad if this was just a found family series about these two dragging each other through life.
The plot unfolds like someone lit a fuse and walked away. There’s a cursed house, blood rituals, demon politics, and at least one evil wizard with an unfortunate fashion sense. The mystery at the heart of it all twists and turns just enough to keep you on your toes, even if you might sniff out the villain a little early. But let’s be real, this book isn’t about airtight whodunits. It’s about the characters trying—and frequently failing—to be functional while wading through trauma, magical bureaucracy, and their own disaster emotions.
K. Valentin’s writing is full of razor-edged humor and emotional undercurrents you don’t see coming. One minute you’re laughing at a joke about cursed customer service, and the next you’re reeling from a line about abandonment that hits way too close to home. The prose walks that line between absurd and sincere with the balance of a circus tightrope act. And if you’re a sucker for inner monologues that drip with fatalism, sass, and an underlying sense of doom? You’ll eat this up.
Favorite line?
“Is it still cannibalism if the demon technically pays rent in your ribcage?”
Honestly, that sums up the vibe. Equal parts horrific and hilarious.
If you’re looking for a cozy read, but your version of cozy includes mild gore, demonic possession, and emotional damage disguised as banter, An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is your next obsession. It’s Legends & Lattes if you replaced coffee with blood rituals and added a bisexual exorcist with mommy issues. It’s Dead Like Me meets T.J. Klune with way more sarcasm and just enough murder to keep things festive.
Final verdict? Give me three more books about this cursed trio, a spinoff for Ophelia, and a deluxe edition with annotations from the demon’s POV.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 (4.5 out of 5 stars)
#AnAmateurWitchsGuideToMurder #BookSparks #NetGalley #QueerFantasy #SpookySeasonRead #FallBooks #LGBTQFantasy #FoundFamily #WitchyReads #DemonDrama #BookReview #UrbanFantasyReads #FantasyDebut #CozyMacabre #DarkComedyFantasy #KValentin #WitchBooks #ParanormalMystery #BooksThatBiteBack
October 30, 2025
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.5 stars
An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is a hilarious debut novel full of snark and a murder of bad decisions. The writing style is well-crafted to glide from hilarity, to gruesomeness, to uncomfortable emotional realness with ease. Mateo, Ophelia, and Topher are twenty-something disasters trying to survive terrible circumstances. Topher is overwhelmingly sincere, anxious, and awkward; yet he can be surprisingly calm under pressure, and banter with Mateo when he relaxes. He’s initially seen as an unguarded bank vault, but soon Ophelia and Mateo welcome the moppet into the Damaged and Doomed Club.
It’s entertaining, oddly charming, and I really hope the publisher commissions a sequel.
Read Jovan’s review in its entirety here.
4.5 stars
An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is a hilarious debut novel full of snark and a murder of bad decisions. The writing style is well-crafted to glide from hilarity, to gruesomeness, to uncomfortable emotional realness with ease. Mateo, Ophelia, and Topher are twenty-something disasters trying to survive terrible circumstances. Topher is overwhelmingly sincere, anxious, and awkward; yet he can be surprisingly calm under pressure, and banter with Mateo when he relaxes. He’s initially seen as an unguarded bank vault, but soon Ophelia and Mateo welcome the moppet into the Damaged and Doomed Club.
It’s entertaining, oddly charming, and I really hope the publisher commissions a sequel.
Read Jovan’s review in its entirety here.
October 7, 2025
I received a copy of this book from Book Sparks and the author and am honored to share this completely honest review!
This was a highly entertaining, witty, and gorey queer romantic fantasy!
I loved Mateo and his discerning eye for fashion. His demonic side made things quite fun and maybe a bit gross at times, but we won't hold that against him! Topher and Ophelia were incredible characters too. Topher was painfully awkward, yet adorable in a way that made me want to hug him! I loved his humor and banter with Mateo!
This story is full of twists and turns and it's a perfect read for the spooky season! If you're looking for something on the cozy side, but with some humor and a bloody bite to it, than this is the book for you!!
This was a highly entertaining, witty, and gorey queer romantic fantasy!
I loved Mateo and his discerning eye for fashion. His demonic side made things quite fun and maybe a bit gross at times, but we won't hold that against him! Topher and Ophelia were incredible characters too. Topher was painfully awkward, yet adorable in a way that made me want to hug him! I loved his humor and banter with Mateo!
This story is full of twists and turns and it's a perfect read for the spooky season! If you're looking for something on the cozy side, but with some humor and a bloody bite to it, than this is the book for you!!
July 11, 2025
Rating 5 Stars!! Wish I could give more!!
This book was A RIOT. Socially awkward queer guy named Mateo who has this little problem. Might possibly be possessed by a demon or is a demon. Then there’s Ophelia who is dead briefly but now is not. Then there’s Topher with daddy issues, a curse, and a mom who might just be a luck goddess. The three are just an unintentional chaotic mess and navigating some feelings. Like if Topher does not have the ick after demon Mateo eats a man whole and then make out with demon Mateo afterward. That must be blossoming love.
I want these three to be my best friends and I was not ready for their story to end, no matter how cute it was.
This book was A RIOT. Socially awkward queer guy named Mateo who has this little problem. Might possibly be possessed by a demon or is a demon. Then there’s Ophelia who is dead briefly but now is not. Then there’s Topher with daddy issues, a curse, and a mom who might just be a luck goddess. The three are just an unintentional chaotic mess and navigating some feelings. Like if Topher does not have the ick after demon Mateo eats a man whole and then make out with demon Mateo afterward. That must be blossoming love.
I want these three to be my best friends and I was not ready for their story to end, no matter how cute it was.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 6, 2025
3.75 stars rounded up
When Mateo was a baby, his dark murder queen of a mother trapped a demon in his body. Now she's missing, people who want to find her are stabbing Mateo, and his most marketable skill is the small amount of magic he can do. But doing magic makes the demon stronger, and Mateo doesn't have the money for an exorcism. Until Topher appears, a sweet and clueless rich boy with a curse that kills those around him. He wants his curse removed and Mateo wants to get paid. Simple. Right?
This book was enjoyable, but it was a little too dark for my tastes. I liked the wit and humor and the way those worked together to counter the murdery parts, but I really am not a fan of torture scenes (including the one near the end of this book). I also found the switch between the demon and Mateo to be somewhat confusing (maybe it's less confusing in the print version?), and I wish the parameters of the magic system had been better defined. I had a bit of trouble with who was where and doing what in the midst of some of the action scenes, which made those parts feel a little jumbled. Again, though, that might be better in the print version. Overall, I enjoyed the book, but next time, more stabbing and less torturing!
When Mateo was a baby, his dark murder queen of a mother trapped a demon in his body. Now she's missing, people who want to find her are stabbing Mateo, and his most marketable skill is the small amount of magic he can do. But doing magic makes the demon stronger, and Mateo doesn't have the money for an exorcism. Until Topher appears, a sweet and clueless rich boy with a curse that kills those around him. He wants his curse removed and Mateo wants to get paid. Simple. Right?
This book was enjoyable, but it was a little too dark for my tastes. I liked the wit and humor and the way those worked together to counter the murdery parts, but I really am not a fan of torture scenes (including the one near the end of this book). I also found the switch between the demon and Mateo to be somewhat confusing (maybe it's less confusing in the print version?), and I wish the parameters of the magic system had been better defined. I had a bit of trouble with who was where and doing what in the midst of some of the action scenes, which made those parts feel a little jumbled. Again, though, that might be better in the print version. Overall, I enjoyed the book, but next time, more stabbing and less torturing!
October 26, 2025
I received an ARC of this book from Alcove Press and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
!Check out the trigger warnings before reading!
Awkward, disaster energy meets snarky customer service whilst both are trying to survive another day.
I don't know how the author managed to create three main characters that are simultaneously endearing and so awkwardly unfit for adult life. The combination of one of them having a demon trapped inside of them, the other forgetting to stay alive while traveling in other realms, and the last one being so clumsily awkward that he leaves a trail of distaster and death in his wake. I can't believe those three managed to - somewhat - stay alive throughout all their adventures.
I probably wouldn't have bought the book if I saw it in the store because of the trigger warnings, but then again, I'm not mad about having had the chance to read something outside of my comfort zone. It was an absolute delight of never knowing what the f* was going to happen next. Kind of like eating an endless popcorn box where you never know if your next bite would be sweet, salty, or combination of both.
Absolutely delightful read, definitely give it a try this spooky season! You won't be dissapointed!
!Check out the trigger warnings before reading!
Awkward, disaster energy meets snarky customer service whilst both are trying to survive another day.
I don't know how the author managed to create three main characters that are simultaneously endearing and so awkwardly unfit for adult life. The combination of one of them having a demon trapped inside of them, the other forgetting to stay alive while traveling in other realms, and the last one being so clumsily awkward that he leaves a trail of distaster and death in his wake. I can't believe those three managed to - somewhat - stay alive throughout all their adventures.
I probably wouldn't have bought the book if I saw it in the store because of the trigger warnings, but then again, I'm not mad about having had the chance to read something outside of my comfort zone. It was an absolute delight of never knowing what the f* was going to happen next. Kind of like eating an endless popcorn box where you never know if your next bite would be sweet, salty, or combination of both.
Absolutely delightful read, definitely give it a try this spooky season! You won't be dissapointed!
October 9, 2025
My main takeaway from this book is that it is ridiculously funny. What an incredible debut of a novel! Topher and Phee are my favorites in this delightfully murdery romp, but everyone (except the dad) is awesome in their own way. I genuinely enjoyed every page. It’s 2 AM and I’m still giggling to myself. Throw in a bunch of magic with some suspense and it was a recipe for success. I can’t wax poetically without giving too much away, so I’ll just leave it at that. I received a copy of this book from NetGalley and this is my honest review. 4.5-4.75 stars. I talked and laughed to myself out loud while reading lol.
January 8, 2026
Wait, this was incredibly fun. I need a sequel in my hands now.
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