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Droga Wendy
Sophie i Jo, dwie studentki aroace, czyli aromantyczne i aseksualne, prowadzą wojnę w internecie, nieświadomie stając się przyjaciółkami w prawdziwym życiu.
Sophie Chi jest na pierwszym roku studiów. Już dawno pogodziła się ze swoją tożsamością aroace, a mimo to czerpie radość z prowadzenia na Instagramie popularnego konta „Droga Wendy”, gdzie udziela porad miłosnych. Nikt poza jej współlokatorką nie wie, że to ona stoi za tym uwielbianym profilem.
Jo Ephron, również pierwszoroczna i aroace, swoje konto „Z poważaniem, Wanda” stworzyła zupełnie przypadkowo i nie liczyła, że zdobędzie popularność. A teraz… wygląda na to, że rywalizuje z kontem Wendy? Ups! Jakby Jo miała mało zmartwień. Dziewczyna przeżywa egzystencjalny kryzys swojej tożsamości, zamartwiając się, że nikt jej nie pokocha i zawsze będzie sama. Gdy napięcie w sieci narasta, w prawdziwym życiu Sophie i Jo coraz bardziej zbliżają się do siebie. Zwłaszcza kiedy odkrywają, że dzielą tę samą tożsamość. Jednak czy ich przyjaźń przetrwa, gdy dowiedzą się, kto stoi za kontami Wendy i Wandy?
Poruszająca, zabawna i pełna życiowych mądrości powieść o poszukiwaniu swojej tożsamości. Powieść o dojrzewaniu, przyjaźni, miłości, studenckim życiu i wszystkim, co z tym związane.
To prawdziwy comfort read, który pokochają miłośnicy nieoczywistych historii typu enemies to friends z drugim dnem.
Sophie Chi jest na pierwszym roku studiów. Już dawno pogodziła się ze swoją tożsamością aroace, a mimo to czerpie radość z prowadzenia na Instagramie popularnego konta „Droga Wendy”, gdzie udziela porad miłosnych. Nikt poza jej współlokatorką nie wie, że to ona stoi za tym uwielbianym profilem.
Jo Ephron, również pierwszoroczna i aroace, swoje konto „Z poważaniem, Wanda” stworzyła zupełnie przypadkowo i nie liczyła, że zdobędzie popularność. A teraz… wygląda na to, że rywalizuje z kontem Wendy? Ups! Jakby Jo miała mało zmartwień. Dziewczyna przeżywa egzystencjalny kryzys swojej tożsamości, zamartwiając się, że nikt jej nie pokocha i zawsze będzie sama. Gdy napięcie w sieci narasta, w prawdziwym życiu Sophie i Jo coraz bardziej zbliżają się do siebie. Zwłaszcza kiedy odkrywają, że dzielą tę samą tożsamość. Jednak czy ich przyjaźń przetrwa, gdy dowiedzą się, kto stoi za kontami Wendy i Wandy?
Poruszająca, zabawna i pełna życiowych mądrości powieść o poszukiwaniu swojej tożsamości. Powieść o dojrzewaniu, przyjaźni, miłości, studenckim życiu i wszystkim, co z tym związane.
To prawdziwy comfort read, który pokochają miłośnicy nieoczywistych historii typu enemies to friends z drugim dnem.
384 pages, Paperback
First published April 16, 2024
174 people are currently reading
17917 people want to read
About the author
Ann Zhao
2 books446 followersAnn Zhao (she/her) is a graduate of Wellesley College, where she studied linguistics with a minor in women’s and gender studies. At various points in college, she participated in the student-run newspaper and the student-run radio station, processed interlibrary loans for the college library, and assisted in research for two linguistics labs, including one that wasn’t even at Wellesley. Doing all this was not good for her writing schedule.
Now working the youth desk at a public library by day and writing by night (or, more realistically, also by day), Ann lives with her family in Illinois. She enjoys cooking, baking, and knitting, but she does not enjoy cleaning up after herself when she’s done with these activities. She collects cassette tapes of her favorite artists’ albums because vinyls feel like too much of a commitment. She is a big proponent of getting a good night’s sleep and an even bigger proponent of diverse representation in media.
You can find Ann on social media as @annzhao_ on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter and @annzhao on Bluesky and Tumblr.
Now working the youth desk at a public library by day and writing by night (or, more realistically, also by day), Ann lives with her family in Illinois. She enjoys cooking, baking, and knitting, but she does not enjoy cleaning up after herself when she’s done with these activities. She collects cassette tapes of her favorite artists’ albums because vinyls feel like too much of a commitment. She is a big proponent of getting a good night’s sleep and an even bigger proponent of diverse representation in media.
You can find Ann on social media as @annzhao_ on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter and @annzhao on Bluesky and Tumblr.
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January 3, 2024The platonic love story of my dreams! I'm always searching for more contemporary stories that explore the nuances and complexities of being aroace, and this was certainly it. DEAR WENDY fluently speaks the language of contemporary aroace spaces and celebrates the healing power of community and understanding for those of us who can feel deeply alone in our life experience. Added to an entertaining Instagram feud and the relationship dramas of a liberal arts college, this book was so delightful, affirming, and heartwarming.
Many thanks to Macmillan for sharing an early copy with me.
Many thanks to Macmillan for sharing an early copy with me.
December 3, 2025
It's Dcember 2025. We're coming up on 2 years since Dear Wendy came out, and I think my pre-release review is a little silly to continue having as my official Goodreads review of my own book, so here are my actual thoughts:
This book was written during an interesting time in my life, when I was simultaneously dealing with the beginning of college, COVID lockdown, and the struggle of knowing my place in a world that isn't built for people like me. I think it's a pretty good book, but at this point, I've read it so many times that I never want to read it again and cringe upon seeing any sentence I've written in it. If you're on the asexual or aromantic spectrum and feel alone—or if you're not and would like to understand better how it might feel—then give this one a try.
And if you've already read the book and want a little more, check out Sophie and Jo's accounts on Instagram (@dearwendywellesley and @wendywellesley69, just like in the book) for even more bits of love advice that I do not explicitly endorse but that I did, in fact, write and put out there. Or track down a U.S. paperback copy of the book and flip through the annotated chapter in the back for some commentary from me!
Thanks for reading! <3
---
review pre-December 2025 follows below
---
i've read this book a few times and i like it
edit: oh my god thank you so much to all the people who have added my book already!! here are a few things you should know about it:
- it's a dual pov book! the main characters are jo (she/they) and sophie (she/her). sophie is chinese like me! jo is white
- it takes place at wellesley college because i write what i know
- this is not a romance!!!!!!!!! sophie and jo are both aroace and bond over their shared identity <3
This book was written during an interesting time in my life, when I was simultaneously dealing with the beginning of college, COVID lockdown, and the struggle of knowing my place in a world that isn't built for people like me. I think it's a pretty good book, but at this point, I've read it so many times that I never want to read it again and cringe upon seeing any sentence I've written in it. If you're on the asexual or aromantic spectrum and feel alone—or if you're not and would like to understand better how it might feel—then give this one a try.
And if you've already read the book and want a little more, check out Sophie and Jo's accounts on Instagram (@dearwendywellesley and @wendywellesley69, just like in the book) for even more bits of love advice that I do not explicitly endorse but that I did, in fact, write and put out there. Or track down a U.S. paperback copy of the book and flip through the annotated chapter in the back for some commentary from me!
Thanks for reading! <3
---
review pre-December 2025 follows below
---
i've read this book a few times and i like it
edit: oh my god thank you so much to all the people who have added my book already!! here are a few things you should know about it:
- it's a dual pov book! the main characters are jo (she/they) and sophie (she/her). sophie is chinese like me! jo is white
- it takes place at wellesley college because i write what i know
- this is not a romance!!!!!!!!! sophie and jo are both aroace and bond over their shared identity <3
Read
December 22, 2024this was sweet! i havent read many books featuring ace characters and it made me think about how so much of society revolves around couples, alternate ways of living that prioritize friendships, and how they can be just as intimate and loving as romantic relationships too. commune life pls!!
December 1, 2023
Heartfelt and hilarious, DEAR WENDY shows how powerful and life-changing platonic love can be. Ann Zhao tenderly explores the importance of found family, queer platonic love, and the joy and comfort that comes with finding people who get you better than anyone else.
March 14, 2025
1.5 stars rounded up.
I've had this book on my TBR literally since the day the deal for this was announced — before it even had a cover and (I think) a goodreads page?? I don't even think I identified as aroace* when I first heard about it. I certainly had no idea that I would end up at a small, historically women's college** not too far from where this book is set. So, getting approved to read this book early? The literal DREAM. And even though I did not enjoy this one, it means a lot to me that I'm in the position to read and review books that so closely resemble under-represented aspects of my life! So thank you to Macmillan (Feiwel & Friends) for the eARC for honest review.
DEAR WENDY follows two aroace students in their first year at Wellesley College, a historically women's college in Massachusetts. This is supposed to be a platonic love story, where Jo and Sophie form an online rivalry through their anonymous relationship advice blogs, while unknowingly growing into close friends in real life. There's a lot of use of the Wendy/Wanda dynamic at Wellesley: Wendy (our Sophie) is the put-together, always-prepared, thoughtful character type, while Wanda (our Jo) is goofy, cool, and more of a relatable mess.
Here's the thing: there wasn't a single aspect of this book that fully developed. There were some moments in the beginning where Jo or Sophie would passingly reflect on part of their aroace identities and I was so ready to see these thoughts evolve and to observe their effects on their lives and relationships. But rather than exploring these concepts through the story, they kept being thrown at the reader superficially.
At least half the book was Jo and Sophie either in a discussion during class or discussing identity when hanging out together. And every single time, they just shared conclusions they had come to and were like "omg same" and then moved on to the next suuuper relatable experience. It was like the author was trying to tick the box on every aspect of aroace discourse. I don't want a list of ways people can be aroace, I want to sympathize and understand the actual, lived experiences of these specific characters.
The only aspect I felt was almost demonstrated through the story was Jo's fears and uncertainty about companionship as someone who can't experience romantic/sexual relationships. Yet, while this was the only aspect of their aroace identity that had any real bearing on the plot, it kept being brushed off. Every time Jo would mention it, Sophie would respond with some iteration of "yeah, I used to feel like that but I'm past that now" and then we'd get some internal monologue about how much Jo wishes she had it together like Sophie. (And this EXACT discussion happened so many times!!)
I think there's something to be said about stories where the characters already are comfortable with their queerness, about allowing people who are past the initial self-discovery moment to live and exist as who they understand themselves. But if you're not going to have a coming-of-age story arc, I'm gonna need some other kind of character development. Sophie did not change from page 1 to the very end. Plus, because Jo's little moments of vulnerability were only approached at a surface level and given such concise and formulated answers, the story did not build. By the time the climax happened, I was underwhelmed.
I also just felt like the online rivalry between their online, dating advice personas was really petty and not at all funny. They were straight-up nasty to each other, especially Sophie. She would literally acknowledge that something "Wanda" said was obviously a joke and then proceed to take it wayyy too seriously and give a mini essay on why they were wrong.
Also, even the in-person banter felt forced. So many times, one of them (usually Sophie) would make a supremely boring joke and they were described as "bursting into laughter" for long periods of time. Maybe it's just me (it's not just me), but banter shouldn't have to be pointed out as hilarious to be funny. It actually... makes it less funny. There was also heavy reliance on pop culture that already feels outdated and this book hasn't even come out yet.
We need more aro and ace fiction, more non-romance queer YA, and especially more of these stories from authors of color. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend DEAR WENDY for this because I do not feel it develops any of these concepts beyond what's already been said better by others.
— — —
*Aroace is a shorthand term used for people who are both aromantic and asexual. Aromantic meaning they experience little-to-no romantic attraction; asexual meaning they experience little-to-no sexual attraction.
**Historically women's college refers to universities that were created for (people perceived as) women in the United States in/around the 19th century, when they were barred from pursuing higher education alongside men. Today, these schools serve a different purpose, which in my opinion is to provide a space for people of any/all marginalized gender identities. This includes women and trans people.
(Originally posted 3/2024, last updated 3/2025 for clarity)
I've had this book on my TBR literally since the day the deal for this was announced — before it even had a cover and (I think) a goodreads page?? I don't even think I identified as aroace* when I first heard about it. I certainly had no idea that I would end up at a small, historically women's college** not too far from where this book is set. So, getting approved to read this book early? The literal DREAM. And even though I did not enjoy this one, it means a lot to me that I'm in the position to read and review books that so closely resemble under-represented aspects of my life! So thank you to Macmillan (Feiwel & Friends) for the eARC for honest review.
DEAR WENDY follows two aroace students in their first year at Wellesley College, a historically women's college in Massachusetts. This is supposed to be a platonic love story, where Jo and Sophie form an online rivalry through their anonymous relationship advice blogs, while unknowingly growing into close friends in real life. There's a lot of use of the Wendy/Wanda dynamic at Wellesley: Wendy (our Sophie) is the put-together, always-prepared, thoughtful character type, while Wanda (our Jo) is goofy, cool, and more of a relatable mess.
Here's the thing: there wasn't a single aspect of this book that fully developed. There were some moments in the beginning where Jo or Sophie would passingly reflect on part of their aroace identities and I was so ready to see these thoughts evolve and to observe their effects on their lives and relationships. But rather than exploring these concepts through the story, they kept being thrown at the reader superficially.
At least half the book was Jo and Sophie either in a discussion during class or discussing identity when hanging out together. And every single time, they just shared conclusions they had come to and were like "omg same" and then moved on to the next suuuper relatable experience. It was like the author was trying to tick the box on every aspect of aroace discourse. I don't want a list of ways people can be aroace, I want to sympathize and understand the actual, lived experiences of these specific characters.
The only aspect I felt was almost demonstrated through the story was Jo's fears and uncertainty about companionship as someone who can't experience romantic/sexual relationships. Yet, while this was the only aspect of their aroace identity that had any real bearing on the plot, it kept being brushed off. Every time Jo would mention it, Sophie would respond with some iteration of "yeah, I used to feel like that but I'm past that now" and then we'd get some internal monologue about how much Jo wishes she had it together like Sophie. (And this EXACT discussion happened so many times!!)
I think there's something to be said about stories where the characters already are comfortable with their queerness, about allowing people who are past the initial self-discovery moment to live and exist as who they understand themselves. But if you're not going to have a coming-of-age story arc, I'm gonna need some other kind of character development. Sophie did not change from page 1 to the very end. Plus, because Jo's little moments of vulnerability were only approached at a surface level and given such concise and formulated answers, the story did not build. By the time the climax happened, I was underwhelmed.
I also just felt like the online rivalry between their online, dating advice personas was really petty and not at all funny. They were straight-up nasty to each other, especially Sophie. She would literally acknowledge that something "Wanda" said was obviously a joke and then proceed to take it wayyy too seriously and give a mini essay on why they were wrong.
Also, even the in-person banter felt forced. So many times, one of them (usually Sophie) would make a supremely boring joke and they were described as "bursting into laughter" for long periods of time. Maybe it's just me (it's not just me), but banter shouldn't have to be pointed out as hilarious to be funny. It actually... makes it less funny. There was also heavy reliance on pop culture that already feels outdated and this book hasn't even come out yet.
We need more aro and ace fiction, more non-romance queer YA, and especially more of these stories from authors of color. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend DEAR WENDY for this because I do not feel it develops any of these concepts beyond what's already been said better by others.
— — —
*Aroace is a shorthand term used for people who are both aromantic and asexual. Aromantic meaning they experience little-to-no romantic attraction; asexual meaning they experience little-to-no sexual attraction.
**Historically women's college refers to universities that were created for (people perceived as) women in the United States in/around the 19th century, when they were barred from pursuing higher education alongside men. Today, these schools serve a different purpose, which in my opinion is to provide a space for people of any/all marginalized gender identities. This includes women and trans people.
(Originally posted 3/2024, last updated 3/2025 for clarity)
April 17, 2024
This was my most anticipated read of 2024, I was so excited to get into it and for it to become one of my ultimate fav books because you don't see aroace rep every day. This was supposed to be THE book for me, the one I've been waiting for all my life. But sadly it didn't fully work for me.
It felt like something was missing. Maybe it's because it's a debut, and the author's future works will be better. It wasn't bad at all though, just not as amazing as I was hoping.
So I think the voice here is what mainly bugged me, it read super young for YA and I couldn't really believe that they were both in college. It was borderline middle grade level.
The discussion about different ace-spec identities was well done, but it also felt like the author was introducing the readers to it more than trusting us to already know about it.
There's a positive side to that too, I think this could be a hit with the younger YA crowd, Dear Wendy is a book that could help them realise they're ace, aro, or both. But when you already know & are secure in your identity, it can feel a bit repetitive.
The whole online feud thing wasn't my favourite part either, I think the concept was good, but the execution made it seem so immature. I'm not saying college aged folks don't get into petty Instagram arguments, but I feel like it's something more suited for, say, fourteen year olds?
What I liked, is the lovely queerplatonic relationship between Sophie & Jo. Like, if you asked me what my ideal relationship is, it would be theirs for sure.
It's so nice to read a book where friendship is centred and platonic love is just as important as romantic love. We love to see it. And we NEED more books like this, please and thank you.
I also liked Sophie and Jo as characters, their friends, how everyone interacted with each other, how funny the book could be at times and the overall diversity of the world.
Pease do read this book and support Ann Zhao!!! I may not have fully vibed with it, but you might. I need as many people as possible to give this book a chance so we can keep getting ace stories okay? Okay.
*Thank you to the publishers and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
It felt like something was missing. Maybe it's because it's a debut, and the author's future works will be better. It wasn't bad at all though, just not as amazing as I was hoping.
So I think the voice here is what mainly bugged me, it read super young for YA and I couldn't really believe that they were both in college. It was borderline middle grade level.
The discussion about different ace-spec identities was well done, but it also felt like the author was introducing the readers to it more than trusting us to already know about it.
There's a positive side to that too, I think this could be a hit with the younger YA crowd, Dear Wendy is a book that could help them realise they're ace, aro, or both. But when you already know & are secure in your identity, it can feel a bit repetitive.
The whole online feud thing wasn't my favourite part either, I think the concept was good, but the execution made it seem so immature. I'm not saying college aged folks don't get into petty Instagram arguments, but I feel like it's something more suited for, say, fourteen year olds?
What I liked, is the lovely queerplatonic relationship between Sophie & Jo. Like, if you asked me what my ideal relationship is, it would be theirs for sure.
It's so nice to read a book where friendship is centred and platonic love is just as important as romantic love. We love to see it. And we NEED more books like this, please and thank you.
I also liked Sophie and Jo as characters, their friends, how everyone interacted with each other, how funny the book could be at times and the overall diversity of the world.
Pease do read this book and support Ann Zhao!!! I may not have fully vibed with it, but you might. I need as many people as possible to give this book a chance so we can keep getting ace stories okay? Okay.
*Thank you to the publishers and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*
May 3, 2022
i feel so warm inside!! there's so much heart and love in this book that as a reader i literally could feel it in my bones!! it's about community, friendship, and being aroace. please put it on your tbrs because i only have love for this fun, heartfelt and important novel!!
Want to read
September 20, 2023ARO ACE REP LET'S GO????????!!!?!?!??!
May 20, 2024
Really enjoyed this one:)
I didn't hear the term asexual till.. my early thirties/late twenties, a friend had suggested I might be so I looked it up.
At first I thought I was just asexual but then I found the term aromatic and that fit as well... I felt calm and at peace, something just slid into place and clicked.
Till I heard the terms of asexual, aromatic, demisexual, aromatic asexual, etc.. I wonderd if I was broken. I didn't think much about dating in high school and whenever someone asked me out, I didn't believe them and felt grossed out.. same when tried going on a date once and the guy kissed me.. I was disgusted and felt relief when he had to cancel on me and we stopped talking eventually.
I got more comfortable slowly 🐌 telling people (mostly anxiety) and now I don't care what people think about it 🙃. (Even gonna get a tattoo for it someday).
Word vomit aside, I'm beyond happy that people on the asexual spectrum are getting represented in the right way.
I loved getting to know Jo and Sophie, meeting their friends, and seeing into their internal words. They made some good points to that I had thought about before and it was clarifying.
I thought it was a bit long near the end, but also don't see how it could have ended any other way.
Definitely getting a print copy someday soonish.
.
I didn't hear the term asexual till.. my early thirties/late twenties, a friend had suggested I might be so I looked it up.
At first I thought I was just asexual but then I found the term aromatic and that fit as well... I felt calm and at peace, something just slid into place and clicked.
Till I heard the terms of asexual, aromatic, demisexual, aromatic asexual, etc.. I wonderd if I was broken. I didn't think much about dating in high school and whenever someone asked me out, I didn't believe them and felt grossed out.. same when tried going on a date once and the guy kissed me.. I was disgusted and felt relief when he had to cancel on me and we stopped talking eventually.
I got more comfortable slowly 🐌 telling people (mostly anxiety) and now I don't care what people think about it 🙃. (Even gonna get a tattoo for it someday).
Word vomit aside, I'm beyond happy that people on the asexual spectrum are getting represented in the right way.
I loved getting to know Jo and Sophie, meeting their friends, and seeing into their internal words. They made some good points to that I had thought about before and it was clarifying.
I thought it was a bit long near the end, but also don't see how it could have ended any other way.
Definitely getting a print copy someday soonish.
.
May 1, 2022
finished this book feeling warm, welcomed, and loved. jo and sophie are my everything and you guys definitely do NOT want to be missing out on this book!! please add it and read it when it comes out <3
April 5, 2024
This is such a special book, and I hope it does extremely well and there will be many more aroace books to follow.
Essentially, this is a platonic romcom. It follows two aroace main characters, and it uses so many romcom tropes for their budding friendship. This truly felt like a love letter to aroace people, and it was amazing seeing a beautiful friendship like this centered in the story. We need more friendship books!
I loved how funny this was, how lowstakes but very introspective, how many wonderful characters there were, and especially seeing these two aroace people find community, and all the wonderful conversations about their experiences.
Essentially, this is a platonic romcom. It follows two aroace main characters, and it uses so many romcom tropes for their budding friendship. This truly felt like a love letter to aroace people, and it was amazing seeing a beautiful friendship like this centered in the story. We need more friendship books!
I loved how funny this was, how lowstakes but very introspective, how many wonderful characters there were, and especially seeing these two aroace people find community, and all the wonderful conversations about their experiences.
July 4, 2024
I have been wanting to read Dear Wendy since it was first announced as it’s so rare to get platonic focused stories. And even more rare for one that gives visibility to the aro ace community. As someone who went to an all-girls high school, Wellesley felt very nostalgic to me and it was interesting to see how that kind of environment differed in a college setting.
Unfortunately, this book felt majorly like one big self-insert. It seemed like Ann Zhao wanted to write a memoir or a collection of essays about her time in college and her journey with her sexuality without actually committing. So instead we ended up with an overfilled YA contemporary that leaves you feeling like you attended a socratic seminar. 99% of the plot was the characters sitting down and having tumblr level discussions with the speech pattern of a superficial gender studies student. This was a classic case of being told rather than shown. I would have preferred the characters actually experiencing things through an active plot rather than simply sitting around and having pseudo therapy sessions.
Also as someone who is a lot more tolerant of pop culture references than most, I was getting a little annoyed by how much time we wasted going into way too heavy detail on a range of niche topics. Or recycling common internet jokes way past when the bit should have been dropped.
When it comes to Sophie and Jo, I really loved Jo as a character. Her insecurities and fears around her friendships and sexuality were so much more relatable to me. As someone who has also worried about my friends hating me and possibly abandoning me, I felt like I understood Jo a lot more than Sophie. Sophie being a lot more confident, while admirable, made her less relatable or interesting. If anything, I felt like Sophie was often really dismissive of her friend’s feelings. She never truly took the time to understand their perspective, she’d rather just give them advice she thought would “fix” the problem. But that’s not realistic to how friendship work as people often just want you to listen while they vent. I felt this especially in conversations she had with Jo when Jo explained some of her insecurities. It felt like because Sophie had already moved past these doubts she couldn’t relate. She would cut the conversation short with advice and move on, while Jo was left still in turmoil.
I’m curious if part of my lack of connection to this book is due to how completely different I approach friendship. A lot of the plot felt unrealistic to how people truly talk and interact in person. Deeply disappointed that I did not enjoy this more! I appreciated the aro ace rep and the diverse cast of sapphic characters. I hope we get more platonic stories in the future.
Unfortunately, this book felt majorly like one big self-insert. It seemed like Ann Zhao wanted to write a memoir or a collection of essays about her time in college and her journey with her sexuality without actually committing. So instead we ended up with an overfilled YA contemporary that leaves you feeling like you attended a socratic seminar. 99% of the plot was the characters sitting down and having tumblr level discussions with the speech pattern of a superficial gender studies student. This was a classic case of being told rather than shown. I would have preferred the characters actually experiencing things through an active plot rather than simply sitting around and having pseudo therapy sessions.
Also as someone who is a lot more tolerant of pop culture references than most, I was getting a little annoyed by how much time we wasted going into way too heavy detail on a range of niche topics. Or recycling common internet jokes way past when the bit should have been dropped.
When it comes to Sophie and Jo, I really loved Jo as a character. Her insecurities and fears around her friendships and sexuality were so much more relatable to me. As someone who has also worried about my friends hating me and possibly abandoning me, I felt like I understood Jo a lot more than Sophie. Sophie being a lot more confident, while admirable, made her less relatable or interesting. If anything, I felt like Sophie was often really dismissive of her friend’s feelings. She never truly took the time to understand their perspective, she’d rather just give them advice she thought would “fix” the problem. But that’s not realistic to how friendship work as people often just want you to listen while they vent. I felt this especially in conversations she had with Jo when Jo explained some of her insecurities. It felt like because Sophie had already moved past these doubts she couldn’t relate. She would cut the conversation short with advice and move on, while Jo was left still in turmoil.
I’m curious if part of my lack of connection to this book is due to how completely different I approach friendship. A lot of the plot felt unrealistic to how people truly talk and interact in person. Deeply disappointed that I did not enjoy this more! I appreciated the aro ace rep and the diverse cast of sapphic characters. I hope we get more platonic stories in the future.
April 21, 2024
Thank you to Dear Wendy's publicist for specifically reaching out to Ownvoices reviewers online who were rejected by Macmillan's Netgalley team, and giving us ARCs to review! I very much enjoyed the book, which is on shelves now!
This was a unique reading experience; having never read my own self represented in a 'romance' in this way, it was an adventure to read about a pair of aroace students finding themselves and each other, developing a deep platonic bond. I saw myself in so much of their actions; and while Ann Zhao is quick to assert that this is neither a guide to aspec sexualities, nor representative of the whole, I found it equal parts sensible and fun.
The most important part for me was that both these aspec characters are romance advice column operators; in my daily life, people always acted as if you couldn't possibly know romance or healthy relationship dynamics if you had never engaged in one, and that is simply false. I'm so glad this book sets the record straight.
The characters are relatable on so many levels, too, particularly Jo, who is questioning gender and loves music, jockeying at the college radio station. Sophie's POV was lovely, featuring facetimes with her mother conversing in Mandarin and earnest conversations with her gender studies professor.
The book was neat format-wise as well, including realistic Instagram story screenshots of snarky column replies from both protagonists' accounts. The prose was realistically college-aged students, without ever being too annoying. The various side characters were really entertaining, from their exploits on dating apps to the dating within the friend circles.
The stakes never feel too high, and the inevitable fallout when the managers of the advice blogs are revealed wasn't too painful.
All in all, a book that inspired good feelings and felt like a comfort read.
This was a unique reading experience; having never read my own self represented in a 'romance' in this way, it was an adventure to read about a pair of aroace students finding themselves and each other, developing a deep platonic bond. I saw myself in so much of their actions; and while Ann Zhao is quick to assert that this is neither a guide to aspec sexualities, nor representative of the whole, I found it equal parts sensible and fun.
The most important part for me was that both these aspec characters are romance advice column operators; in my daily life, people always acted as if you couldn't possibly know romance or healthy relationship dynamics if you had never engaged in one, and that is simply false. I'm so glad this book sets the record straight.
The characters are relatable on so many levels, too, particularly Jo, who is questioning gender and loves music, jockeying at the college radio station. Sophie's POV was lovely, featuring facetimes with her mother conversing in Mandarin and earnest conversations with her gender studies professor.
The book was neat format-wise as well, including realistic Instagram story screenshots of snarky column replies from both protagonists' accounts. The prose was realistically college-aged students, without ever being too annoying. The various side characters were really entertaining, from their exploits on dating apps to the dating within the friend circles.
The stakes never feel too high, and the inevitable fallout when the managers of the advice blogs are revealed wasn't too painful.
All in all, a book that inspired good feelings and felt like a comfort read.
December 4, 2023
i read DEAR WENDY in one sitting & it called me out in every single way imaginable. i don't know if i've ever felt more personally attacked by a novel. it also gave me a sexuality crisis. 5/5 stars.
May 22, 2024
this was amazing and so cute!! i love how platonic love is described and shown in dear wendy and i feel like the story healed something in me as an aroace-spec person! this is the not-romance book i didn't know i needed, and i want more of these stories!
listened to the audiobook and it was great! would def recommend! i'd also want to read it again in print to see how the instagram posts and other media were formatted
maybe i'll have a more coherent review soon, but these are my thoughts as of now
listened to the audiobook and it was great! would def recommend! i'd also want to read it again in print to see how the instagram posts and other media were formatted
maybe i'll have a more coherent review soon, but these are my thoughts as of now
May 18, 2024
as much as i love the aroace discussion and friendship aspects of this book, you know it's bad when the characters feel way more chronically online than even me, a regular on twitter and an early to mid 2010s tumblr survivor
September 3, 2024
I was super excited for this it sounded very promising, two acearo protagonists befriending each other while also unknowingly having a rivalry on instagram sounds great, and yet.
If you like Taylor Swift mentions, Wellesley College fanfic and vague descriptions of popular books/tv shows then you’ll love this book. I think I spent more time trying to figure out what media was being described than actually connecting to the characters. They felt so 2D and I didn’t really care about their problems because they never learn or experience anything.
It felt so surface level how Jo and Sophie would often reflect on their aroace identities, how difficult it is to sometimes be taken seriously by people and the fear of being abandoned when your friends get into romantic relationships. Instead of exploring this more when Jo talks to Sophie about these fears, Sophie basically brushes it off with a “oh yeah you’ll get over it I did” — then we learn more about Sophie and it kinda seems like she isn’t fully over it, but do we learn more about that at all?? no.
I do always feel a bit iffy when reading books surrounding social media because they try to be so current and I often wonder how they’ll age in a few years and honestly this one is already ageing poorly despite just coming out.
The main drama of this book was the online rivalry of their dating advice personas, it was so unbelievably petty and not really funny at all? like they were so rude to each other out of seemingly no where and then it all kinda just blows over when the characters talk to someone else and that person is like “that’s kinda stupid”. Then they say sorry which like good that they both take accountability but for someone who preaches communication you sure do avoid it Sophie.
I was excited to see established a-spec identities as we tend to see discovery and coming out stories from YA — seeing what it means to know you’re a-spec and dealing with that in a world where allosexuality is the majority and people may often not know about or understand a-spec identities. Instead we get the characters just mentioning a list of things a-specs have to put up with instead of showing us the characters experiencing and growing from these things. It really felt like there was a checklist that was being ticked off at times.
I do know this is a debut but the writing felt so extremely juvenile like we, the reader, can’t be trusted to intuit any emotions from the characters and have to be told when things are funny or exactly how characters are feeling. It was becoming reminiscent of the “he’s right behind me isn’t he” comedy of Marvel movies.
We need more a-spec and queer non-romance stories especially from authors of colour but I can’t help but feel this has missed the mark. I know this book is for someone and that person is just not me but there are many a-spec books I would recommend before this one that explore the concepts more than just mentioning them and someone else replying “same”.
September Edit:
I keep thinking about how much this book bothered me and I'm going to bump it down to 1 star.
Also I didn't mention it originally but I thought this book had a really weird take on "looking queer" and what clothes you need to wear to signal that you're queer - which obviously can play a large part in queer culture and discovering who you are as person but the way it was kinda randomly brought up made me feel icky.
If you like Taylor Swift mentions, Wellesley College fanfic and vague descriptions of popular books/tv shows then you’ll love this book. I think I spent more time trying to figure out what media was being described than actually connecting to the characters. They felt so 2D and I didn’t really care about their problems because they never learn or experience anything.
It felt so surface level how Jo and Sophie would often reflect on their aroace identities, how difficult it is to sometimes be taken seriously by people and the fear of being abandoned when your friends get into romantic relationships. Instead of exploring this more when Jo talks to Sophie about these fears, Sophie basically brushes it off with a “oh yeah you’ll get over it I did” — then we learn more about Sophie and it kinda seems like she isn’t fully over it, but do we learn more about that at all?? no.
I do always feel a bit iffy when reading books surrounding social media because they try to be so current and I often wonder how they’ll age in a few years and honestly this one is already ageing poorly despite just coming out.
The main drama of this book was the online rivalry of their dating advice personas, it was so unbelievably petty and not really funny at all? like they were so rude to each other out of seemingly no where and then it all kinda just blows over when the characters talk to someone else and that person is like “that’s kinda stupid”. Then they say sorry which like good that they both take accountability but for someone who preaches communication you sure do avoid it Sophie.
I was excited to see established a-spec identities as we tend to see discovery and coming out stories from YA — seeing what it means to know you’re a-spec and dealing with that in a world where allosexuality is the majority and people may often not know about or understand a-spec identities. Instead we get the characters just mentioning a list of things a-specs have to put up with instead of showing us the characters experiencing and growing from these things. It really felt like there was a checklist that was being ticked off at times.
I do know this is a debut but the writing felt so extremely juvenile like we, the reader, can’t be trusted to intuit any emotions from the characters and have to be told when things are funny or exactly how characters are feeling. It was becoming reminiscent of the “he’s right behind me isn’t he” comedy of Marvel movies.
We need more a-spec and queer non-romance stories especially from authors of colour but I can’t help but feel this has missed the mark. I know this book is for someone and that person is just not me but there are many a-spec books I would recommend before this one that explore the concepts more than just mentioning them and someone else replying “same”.
September Edit:
I keep thinking about how much this book bothered me and I'm going to bump it down to 1 star.
Also I didn't mention it originally but I thought this book had a really weird take on "looking queer" and what clothes you need to wear to signal that you're queer - which obviously can play a large part in queer culture and discovering who you are as person but the way it was kinda randomly brought up made me feel icky.
May 19, 2024
I received an ARC from Edelweiss
TW: aphobia
3
I'm disappointed, because I was so, so ready to love this book. Unfortunately, I have to admit that I didn't.
Here's what I liked- aspec representation! I'm always a fun, I'm happy we're getting more, and from aspec writers even! I like the fact that it's a platonic love story, I like the little moments of what we back in the day used to call a "squish", that realization that this person is becoming important to you and you care about them and you're so scared that they're not going to like you. I also, as a fan of dumb little stories about teens doing jobs or giving advice in secret that they totally should not be doing/giving (it's a whole trope at this point) thought that rival love advice accounts would be hilarious, and I always love mistaken/hidden identity "romances".
But, well, Zhao said that she wrote this on her laptop between classes just to amuse herself, and it absolutely shows. This book is full of lengthy tumblr jokes- at least half of which are only funny if you're actually on tumblr to know the context, and then are not going to be funny to those people anymore anyway because they've seen so many of them- and moments that really reminded me of early 2000's MTV characters a la Degrassi giving you a breakdown of like racism and homophobia. There are a lot of moments talking about discourse in queer culture, and a lot of it feels like Zhao just didn't consider her audience. The people picking up this book that is entirely about two AroAce characters is probably aware of the Aro and Ace communities. You don't need to give detailed lectures on entry level queer information. And, if you were hoping the main readers would be those hoping to learn what asexuality or aromantism are, then why include niche discourse that they have no context for? It just really didn't feel edited down.
As much information as there is about queer culture, there is just as much for Wellesly. This book is a gigantic college interest brochure. I am so sick of this college. I am qualified, at this point, to be an orientation leader for this college.
Finally, as much as the platonic love story is a giant selling point.... I did not like these characters, and I don't want them to be friends. Their beef gets weirdly aggressive immediately, they don't seem to go together beyond both being aroace, and their drama in the third act made me so exhausted with both of them- especially as there were better reasons to be upset with each other- that I wished one of them would just transfer.
TW: aphobia
3
I'm disappointed, because I was so, so ready to love this book. Unfortunately, I have to admit that I didn't.
Here's what I liked- aspec representation! I'm always a fun, I'm happy we're getting more, and from aspec writers even! I like the fact that it's a platonic love story, I like the little moments of what we back in the day used to call a "squish", that realization that this person is becoming important to you and you care about them and you're so scared that they're not going to like you. I also, as a fan of dumb little stories about teens doing jobs or giving advice in secret that they totally should not be doing/giving (it's a whole trope at this point) thought that rival love advice accounts would be hilarious, and I always love mistaken/hidden identity "romances".
But, well, Zhao said that she wrote this on her laptop between classes just to amuse herself, and it absolutely shows. This book is full of lengthy tumblr jokes- at least half of which are only funny if you're actually on tumblr to know the context, and then are not going to be funny to those people anymore anyway because they've seen so many of them- and moments that really reminded me of early 2000's MTV characters a la Degrassi giving you a breakdown of like racism and homophobia. There are a lot of moments talking about discourse in queer culture, and a lot of it feels like Zhao just didn't consider her audience. The people picking up this book that is entirely about two AroAce characters is probably aware of the Aro and Ace communities. You don't need to give detailed lectures on entry level queer information. And, if you were hoping the main readers would be those hoping to learn what asexuality or aromantism are, then why include niche discourse that they have no context for? It just really didn't feel edited down.
As much information as there is about queer culture, there is just as much for Wellesly. This book is a gigantic college interest brochure. I am so sick of this college. I am qualified, at this point, to be an orientation leader for this college.
Finally, as much as the platonic love story is a giant selling point.... I did not like these characters, and I don't want them to be friends. Their beef gets weirdly aggressive immediately, they don't seem to go together beyond both being aroace, and their drama in the third act made me so exhausted with both of them- especially as there were better reasons to be upset with each other- that I wished one of them would just transfer.
June 22, 2024
Content warnings: aphobia, misogyny, racism, sexism.
Rep: Sophie (MC) is cis, Chinese-American, aromantic and asexual. Jo is gender queer, aromantic and asexual. Side BIPOC characters, lots of queer characters.
First of all - please stop tagging this book as lesbian! These main characters are wonderfully asexual and aromantic! Please stop erasing their identities!
Second of all - I loved this so much!
The entire plot was superb. The characters fantastic. The friendships phenomenal.
I loved Sophie and Jo, and I love, love, loved their dynamic.
I loved that Sophie used both sets of Jo's pronouns for them. This is the first book I can recall that where someone has said they use two sets of pronouns that has actually included it.
I just loved this book a lot.
Read it, please.
Rep: Sophie (MC) is cis, Chinese-American, aromantic and asexual. Jo is gender queer, aromantic and asexual. Side BIPOC characters, lots of queer characters.
First of all - please stop tagging this book as lesbian! These main characters are wonderfully asexual and aromantic! Please stop erasing their identities!
Second of all - I loved this so much!
The entire plot was superb. The characters fantastic. The friendships phenomenal.
I loved Sophie and Jo, and I love, love, loved their dynamic.
I loved that Sophie used both sets of Jo's pronouns for them. This is the first book I can recall that where someone has said they use two sets of pronouns that has actually included it.
I just loved this book a lot.
Read it, please.
May 20, 2024
ohhhh boy.
things i LIKED! this book was incredibly easy to read, with an accessible and simple writing style and short chapters (with titles!) so i breezed through basically the whole thing in one night. yay! i also really appreciated what this book was going for and the things it had to say about aroace identity and intersectionality, like how sophie struggled with the unique pressure of being a chinese daughter of immigrants who doesn’t exactly fit the mold of what her parents expect her to be. i loved jo’s arc and it felt the most vulnerable to me. that terror of desperately holding on to their friends even if its selfish.. i liked that a lot!!
but more than anything this book left me wanting more. i think i’m in a unique position because i’m actually a wellesley student and i am best friends (in a sophie-jo kinda way if i may be so bold) with someone who is aroace so a lot of this book conceptually would hit close to home for me. i wanted more from sophie’s character… i felt like she didn’t really grow much? and while i liked jo’s arc the most, i wanted to feel that fear and insecurity even more. i also wanted more out of the setting, which feels a little absurd because this book is arguably bogged down with oddly specific wellesley references. but i wanted more DESCRIPTION. wellesley is fucking beautiful. why did we not get to see, hear, experience it? nothing about the bells as you walk around campus, the beautiful sunsets, the LAKE, even tower courtyard??
ok that takes me to my next point… #NotMyWellesley
this book read REALLY young, and i know it’s YA, but it read like early YA. i hesitate to say middle grade because that feels mean but. you know. because the characters felt so childish and immature and practically never left their dorm rooms, we were robbed of seeing so much of what makes wellesley wellesley. the weird underground parties. walking around the lake path in the middle of the night. day drinking on marmon. this book was obsessed with talking about teeny tiny details of wellesley, like the external closets across from claf first year dorms, instead of the big picture beautiful community stuff. i told margaret it felt like reading about an uncanny valley fantasy wellesley, which is to be expected because this book is, yknow, fiction, but i wish some of the weirder stuff was represented.
it just felt so… sanitized? young and idealistic? clean and presented neatly on a plate? somewhat preachy in its messaging, more obsessed with lecturing the reader by bringing us to class with the characters than us actually learning about the characters. i have no idea why sophie wanted to study psychology. i have no idea what jo wants to do with their life. i don’t know who these characters are, and that’s not even talking about the side characters - did priya have a personality outside of dating izzy? was there a reason for sophie and jo to be as close as they were outside of both being aroace?
anyway. this was more ranty than i wanted it to be. but the central conflict was laughable middle school drama and i felt robbed of seeing MY wellesley depicted in a coming of age novel. i hope this helped.
things i LIKED! this book was incredibly easy to read, with an accessible and simple writing style and short chapters (with titles!) so i breezed through basically the whole thing in one night. yay! i also really appreciated what this book was going for and the things it had to say about aroace identity and intersectionality, like how sophie struggled with the unique pressure of being a chinese daughter of immigrants who doesn’t exactly fit the mold of what her parents expect her to be. i loved jo’s arc and it felt the most vulnerable to me. that terror of desperately holding on to their friends even if its selfish.. i liked that a lot!!
but more than anything this book left me wanting more. i think i’m in a unique position because i’m actually a wellesley student and i am best friends (in a sophie-jo kinda way if i may be so bold) with someone who is aroace so a lot of this book conceptually would hit close to home for me. i wanted more from sophie’s character… i felt like she didn’t really grow much? and while i liked jo’s arc the most, i wanted to feel that fear and insecurity even more. i also wanted more out of the setting, which feels a little absurd because this book is arguably bogged down with oddly specific wellesley references. but i wanted more DESCRIPTION. wellesley is fucking beautiful. why did we not get to see, hear, experience it? nothing about the bells as you walk around campus, the beautiful sunsets, the LAKE, even tower courtyard??
ok that takes me to my next point… #NotMyWellesley
this book read REALLY young, and i know it’s YA, but it read like early YA. i hesitate to say middle grade because that feels mean but. you know. because the characters felt so childish and immature and practically never left their dorm rooms, we were robbed of seeing so much of what makes wellesley wellesley. the weird underground parties. walking around the lake path in the middle of the night. day drinking on marmon. this book was obsessed with talking about teeny tiny details of wellesley, like the external closets across from claf first year dorms, instead of the big picture beautiful community stuff. i told margaret it felt like reading about an uncanny valley fantasy wellesley, which is to be expected because this book is, yknow, fiction, but i wish some of the weirder stuff was represented.
it just felt so… sanitized? young and idealistic? clean and presented neatly on a plate? somewhat preachy in its messaging, more obsessed with lecturing the reader by bringing us to class with the characters than us actually learning about the characters. i have no idea why sophie wanted to study psychology. i have no idea what jo wants to do with their life. i don’t know who these characters are, and that’s not even talking about the side characters - did priya have a personality outside of dating izzy? was there a reason for sophie and jo to be as close as they were outside of both being aroace?
anyway. this was more ranty than i wanted it to be. but the central conflict was laughable middle school drama and i felt robbed of seeing MY wellesley depicted in a coming of age novel. i hope this helped.
April 8, 2025
✧ it is so special to have a cute, tropey, romcom style novel about a platonic relationship - complete with a platonic love letter and grand gesture!
✧ the premise is oh so juicy! advice column plots are pretty damn popular right now, huh? the eventual conflict is anticlimactic when it arrives, but the buildup is the fun part of the plotline.
✧ the writing did not always work for me. in particular, the banter is irritating at times - perhaps partly because it's so very gen z, and i have aged out of this book's target audience, which is on me. the sheer abundance of internet jokes is exhausting.
✧ i also found the dialogue to be unrealistically didactic. sometimes it feels like the characters have more queer discourse convos than any other type of convo. HOWEVER, considering the horrible dearth of aspec lit, i appreciate this book taking time to educate its readers.
✧ love a full cast audiobook! sophie's narration comes off as oddly declarative, which began to grate on me over time, but i love that the different POVs are marked by different voices.
✧ the story hugely romanticizes the college experience, and feels like a love letter to wellesley. i recognized some boston area locales, and i'm sure this book is a blast to read if you're a wellesley student or alum. it made me wistful for a college experience like these characters are having.
✧ overall, this is a really wonderful aroace love story. a huge range of issues are covered thoughtfully. i love the emphasis on different types of love, the insistence that platonic relationships are as valuable as romantic relationships, and the charming delivery of it all.
✧ the premise is oh so juicy! advice column plots are pretty damn popular right now, huh? the eventual conflict is anticlimactic when it arrives, but the buildup is the fun part of the plotline.
✧ the writing did not always work for me. in particular, the banter is irritating at times - perhaps partly because it's so very gen z, and i have aged out of this book's target audience, which is on me. the sheer abundance of internet jokes is exhausting.
✧ i also found the dialogue to be unrealistically didactic. sometimes it feels like the characters have more queer discourse convos than any other type of convo. HOWEVER, considering the horrible dearth of aspec lit, i appreciate this book taking time to educate its readers.
✧ love a full cast audiobook! sophie's narration comes off as oddly declarative, which began to grate on me over time, but i love that the different POVs are marked by different voices.
✧ the story hugely romanticizes the college experience, and feels like a love letter to wellesley. i recognized some boston area locales, and i'm sure this book is a blast to read if you're a wellesley student or alum. it made me wistful for a college experience like these characters are having.
✧ overall, this is a really wonderful aroace love story. a huge range of issues are covered thoughtfully. i love the emphasis on different types of love, the insistence that platonic relationships are as valuable as romantic relationships, and the charming delivery of it all.
![Profile Image for Lee [Bibliophile Tings].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1714421530i%2F162596364._UY200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
March 4, 2025
Thank you so much to Feiwel & Friends for sending me an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Before I get into my thoughts, I would like to thank Ann Zhao.
Thank you, Ann Zhao, for writing this story. As an aroace Asian American, I never thought I would have the chance to read and review a story so close to my own. I cried when I saw this book. I cried while reading. Then I cried while writing my review. Dear Wendy makes me feel like my experience matters, like I matter. I am so happy and so honored to have been an advanced reader of Dear Wendy.
Okay. Now that I have my tears somewhat under control, let’s talk about this book.
For any who may be unaware, the term aromantic asexual refers to people who experience a lack of romantic and sexual attraction. It is possible to identify as either or both.
The inclusion of various a-spec identities absolutely warms my heart. In addition to Sophie and Jo, there are so many aromatic or asexual side characters. Not every a-spec person has the same experience. I love that this book spotlights diversity within the a-spec community.
Both main characters run a romantic advice column on Instagram. Using the aliases Wendy and Wanda, they answer their classmates’ questions about all things relationships. There are “screenshots” of the posts in the book, which is such a fun addition. The visuals make this a more immersive read.
That being said, I read a digital version of Dear Wendy on my phone. The “screenshots” are almost too small to be fully appreciated. This is not a criticism, just something to keep in mind when you go to pick up a copy.
And as much as I loved seeing how the two accounts are run, I think that the feud between Wendy and Wanda dragged on for too long. I am a fairly conflict-averse person. Watching these two argue on social media made me uncomfortable.
Although this book touches on complex topics, it still feels like YA. Especially with the feud, there’s an aura of immaturity / insecurity that is typical of the early college experience.
All in all, Dear Wendy is a must-read. I will forever recommend this book to other people. Like you! After you read this review, go get a copy of Dear Wendy.
Bottom line: This book made me an emotional mess.
──✒ pre review initial thoughts
i straight-up sobbed on the commuter train. representation matters. thank you thank you thank you Ann Zhao
༝༚༝༚
my blog!
Before I get into my thoughts, I would like to thank Ann Zhao.
Thank you, Ann Zhao, for writing this story. As an aroace Asian American, I never thought I would have the chance to read and review a story so close to my own. I cried when I saw this book. I cried while reading. Then I cried while writing my review. Dear Wendy makes me feel like my experience matters, like I matter. I am so happy and so honored to have been an advanced reader of Dear Wendy.
Okay. Now that I have my tears somewhat under control, let’s talk about this book.
I will not be “growing out” of being aroace.⟡₊ ⊹
For any who may be unaware, the term aromantic asexual refers to people who experience a lack of romantic and sexual attraction. It is possible to identify as either or both.
The inclusion of various a-spec identities absolutely warms my heart. In addition to Sophie and Jo, there are so many aromatic or asexual side characters. Not every a-spec person has the same experience. I love that this book spotlights diversity within the a-spec community.
Both main characters run a romantic advice column on Instagram. Using the aliases Wendy and Wanda, they answer their classmates’ questions about all things relationships. There are “screenshots” of the posts in the book, which is such a fun addition. The visuals make this a more immersive read.
That being said, I read a digital version of Dear Wendy on my phone. The “screenshots” are almost too small to be fully appreciated. This is not a criticism, just something to keep in mind when you go to pick up a copy.
And as much as I loved seeing how the two accounts are run, I think that the feud between Wendy and Wanda dragged on for too long. I am a fairly conflict-averse person. Watching these two argue on social media made me uncomfortable.
Although this book touches on complex topics, it still feels like YA. Especially with the feud, there’s an aura of immaturity / insecurity that is typical of the early college experience.
All in all, Dear Wendy is a must-read. I will forever recommend this book to other people. Like you! After you read this review, go get a copy of Dear Wendy.
Bottom line: This book made me an emotional mess.
──✒ pre review initial thoughts
i straight-up sobbed on the commuter train. representation matters. thank you thank you thank you Ann Zhao
༝༚༝༚
my blog!
May 18, 2024
“When two people work well together–whether that’s platonically or romantically–all you need to do is enjoy that fact.”
I was honestly incredibly shocked to go to the Goodreads reviews of this book and find out most people thoroughly enjoyed it. Did we read the same book? Of course I want more books with queer representation, especially ace rep, but more than that I want more good books with queer representation, and this is not that. Where do I begin? So many jokes are so reliant on your knowledge of internet trends that the book already feels out of date, and it just came out. Neither Sophie nor Jo felt fleshed out enough to care about (and what was fleshed out only demonstrated their immaturity and superiority complexes). In turn, I didn’t care about their friendship either, which isn’t great news when that is supposed to be the literal crux of this book. Did they ever have anything in common besides asexuality and a tendency for petty drama? That certainly can’t be enough grounds for a friendship, let alone such a close one as we are told they have. The reader is not rewarded for reading the book because none of the characters go through any meaningful development. Why should I read all 361 pages when I could read the first and last chapters and get the gist? The book could’ve been cut down by 75% if the author just trusted their audience to possess enough brainpower to not need every single little thing spelled out for them. And also, I would argue the discussions of asexuality/aromanticism were not even done well. Everything that was said was already said better on Tumblr in 2018. On top of that, the book could’ve been cut down by another 25% if the author would calm down with the Wellesley College references. It was honestly so suffocating. Another review said “if you’re a fan of Loveless, don’t read this”, and I quite literally couldn’t agree more.
I was honestly incredibly shocked to go to the Goodreads reviews of this book and find out most people thoroughly enjoyed it. Did we read the same book? Of course I want more books with queer representation, especially ace rep, but more than that I want more good books with queer representation, and this is not that. Where do I begin? So many jokes are so reliant on your knowledge of internet trends that the book already feels out of date, and it just came out. Neither Sophie nor Jo felt fleshed out enough to care about (and what was fleshed out only demonstrated their immaturity and superiority complexes). In turn, I didn’t care about their friendship either, which isn’t great news when that is supposed to be the literal crux of this book. Did they ever have anything in common besides asexuality and a tendency for petty drama? That certainly can’t be enough grounds for a friendship, let alone such a close one as we are told they have. The reader is not rewarded for reading the book because none of the characters go through any meaningful development. Why should I read all 361 pages when I could read the first and last chapters and get the gist? The book could’ve been cut down by 75% if the author just trusted their audience to possess enough brainpower to not need every single little thing spelled out for them. And also, I would argue the discussions of asexuality/aromanticism were not even done well. Everything that was said was already said better on Tumblr in 2018. On top of that, the book could’ve been cut down by another 25% if the author would calm down with the Wellesley College references. It was honestly so suffocating. Another review said “if you’re a fan of Loveless, don’t read this”, and I quite literally couldn’t agree more.
March 3, 2025
Both characters annoyed and frustrated me, but they are also arguably very realistic and deserving of compassion.
Firstly, this is not a romance. This is about two characters trying to be more comfortable with their identity as aro ace individuals in a world where relationships based on romantic and sexual love is seen as the norm and lauded as the ultimate goal.
Jo and Sophie form an online rivalry through their anonymous relationship advice blogs, while unknowingly growing into close friends in real life.
As someone who is trying to figure out where I fit in, this felt very compassionate and understanding that my feelings are valid.
My first quibble is that Jo and Soohie’s personas online and their real life personalities felt very different to me. I did not find their online banter funny, but rather nasty and rude. If I found out my new friend was behind that, I would not be okay.
It was very fluffy and idealised and everyone was pretty accepting and happy - explained away by them attending Wellesley College and the majority of students there are LGBTQ+.
I think it was more surface level than I would have liked, however there are so few traditionally published books centring on the aro ace experience that it was still refreshing.
Bookstagram
Firstly, this is not a romance. This is about two characters trying to be more comfortable with their identity as aro ace individuals in a world where relationships based on romantic and sexual love is seen as the norm and lauded as the ultimate goal.
Jo and Sophie form an online rivalry through their anonymous relationship advice blogs, while unknowingly growing into close friends in real life.
As someone who is trying to figure out where I fit in, this felt very compassionate and understanding that my feelings are valid.
My first quibble is that Jo and Soohie’s personas online and their real life personalities felt very different to me. I did not find their online banter funny, but rather nasty and rude. If I found out my new friend was behind that, I would not be okay.
It was very fluffy and idealised and everyone was pretty accepting and happy - explained away by them attending Wellesley College and the majority of students there are LGBTQ+.
I think it was more surface level than I would have liked, however there are so few traditionally published books centring on the aro ace experience that it was still refreshing.
Bookstagram
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December 7, 2022I read the very first draft of DEAR WENDY and couldn’t be more thrilled to finally see it on Goodreads!! Everyone—add this book to your TBR! 🔥
April 17, 2024
What’s better than a romcom? A story about friendship in the style of a romcom. Dear Wendy checks off so many boxes that it’s actually eerie: aro/ace protagonists, supportive secondary cast, plenty of humour, and a compassionate story to its core. This was one of my most-anticipated books of 2024, and that does not surprise me. I received an eARC from NetGalley and publisher Feiwel & Friends in exchange for a review.
Sophie and Jo are both aromantic and asexual students at Wellesley College in Massachusetts. They meet and befriend one another in their introductory women’s studies course. However, they have something else in common in addition to sexual orientation: each is behind an anonymous Instagram account for relationship advice. Sophie has been running the “Dear Wendy” account for several months, and Jo recently started up “Sincerely, Wanda” as an acerbic Dear Wendy spoof that inadvertently gained its own following. As the two students navigate college life, friendship, and being young aro/ace people in a sea of horny roommates and peers, Sophie and Jo bond while their alter egos feud. What could possibly go wrong?
To say that I love this setup, with its implicit promise of romcom-level misunderstandings and hope for reconciliation, would be an understatement. Although romance isn’t my favourite genre, I have nothing against it, and I actually enjoy a good romcom. But comedies that privilege friendship tend to be quirky buddy comedies. Dear Wendy joins a handful of other stories I can recall that give us a romcom-like story arc to a platonic relationship (shout-out to the Canadian indie film Almost Adults as another example).
To say that I felt seen as an aroace woman with this book is also an understatement. I kept comparing myself to each of the two protagonists, alternatively at times identifying more with Sophie or Jo (but, if I am being honest with myself, I am a total Sophie!). While a lot about each character is different from my story (I’m not the child of immigrants; I don’t have two moms; I never went to an American college, let alone a historically “women’s” college like Wellesley), those details don’t matter as much as the vibes present here. Plus, like these two, I am that aroace always giving her friends relationship advice—seriously.
But most importantly, I know what it is like to watch my friends hook up, pair off, find a romantic soulmate, and wonder what’s out there for me. I know what it is like to question my gender. And I know what it’s like to be confident in my identity but have others (not my parents, thank goodness, but plenty of other people) tell me it’s just a phase or something I will get over once I find “the right person” (it’s not, and I won’t).
All of this is to say that many aro/ace readers are going to see parts of themselves in Sophie and Jo, and it’s lovely.
But I think I need to speak to allo readers (those of you who experience sexual or romantic attraction) for a moment. I don’t want to give the impression that this book is only for aro/ace readers. If anything, I think it is more important for allo readers to pick up Dear Wendy, and I think you will enjoy it too.
First, so many of the best parts of this book are only tangentially related to Sophie and Jo’s queer identities. Zhao suffuses this book with nonstop gags and powerful scenes of female friendship. Whether it’s Sophie bonding with her women’s studies prof, Jo spending time with their roommates, or the two of them hanging out and watching a movie (until Jo disturbs Sophie by breaking down and crying, lol), Dear Wendy is pitch-perfect new adult storytelling. It’s about two young people finding their independence in college, getting super excited about dumb shit and important stuff alike, making mistakes, and picking themselves back up after they fall down. It’s beautiful.
Second, I love how the conflict in this story is so mellow. Everyone around Sophie and Jo is just so damn supportive, and it is the kind of wholesome energy I need in April 2024. All of the conflict in this book comes from realistic misunderstandings and behaviour that makes sense for young college students. When everything inevitably blows up in Sophie and Jo’s friendship, it blows up in a sensible way, the drama far from melodramatic. There are no larger-than-life villains in this book. Even Sophie’s relationship with her aphobic mother is a nuanced one.
Zhao has somehow managed to capture what it’s like to live in an aphobic (and, more broadly, queerphobic) society without including overt instances of aphobia, homophobia, transphobia, etc. Maybe this is a consequence of the inclusive setting of Wellesley—which, as Sophie and Jo discover, is far from perfect but seems to be a refreshing bubble of acceptance. There are no moustache-twirling queerphobes here. (The dearth of cis straight male characters in the book might also have something to do with this, but I was even expecting one of the female characters to take off her mask and reveal she was secretly a TERF or aphobe or something, and it never happens.)
Which brings me to the final reason I need allo readers to devour Dear Wendy: I need you to see happy, well-adjusted aro/ace characters in fiction. Yeah, Sophie has some friction with her parents, and Jo has their moments of struggling with what their sexuality means for their future. At the end of the day, though, they are no more or less happy than their allo peers. (If anything, they both embody the sheer relief I often feel as my friends recount their relationship problems to me, and all I can think is, “That sounds exhausting. Couldn’t be me!”) Dear Wendy, with its subversion of romantic tropes to deliver us an HEA predicated upon platonic values, is a daring form of resistance to compulsory sexuality.
At this point you might be thinking, “Kara, of course you’re going to give this book five stars because you are incredibly biased.” And, reader, you might be right (but whomst among us is not?). Except that when I look back at my asexual-themed reads, I find that I actually tend to be quite critical. So instead of taking this rating and review with a grain of salt, view it as what it is: a full-throated and unabashed endorsement of an aro/ace-themed novel that gets it. And no, Dear Wendy cannot be everything to every aro/ace reader. Sophie and Jo are but two characters, of a particular age, following a particular plot. We continue to need a plethora of diverse aro/ace stories, and many of those won’t work for me.
But this one does. Oh, does it ever. If I could have a platonic life partnership with this book, I would.
I will never walk down an aisle towards the partner of my dreams. I will probably never live with anyone else. I am in my thirties, and my friends are pairing up and having children, and I feel like a movie character caught in a time-lapse effect where they stand still while the background extras turn into motion blurs around them. Being aro/ace can be incredibly lonely at times. But it can also feel incredibly freeing. Dear Wendy explores both of these truths, and it does so with incredible grace and no small amount of wisdom.
Originally posted on Kara.Reviews.
Sophie and Jo are both aromantic and asexual students at Wellesley College in Massachusetts. They meet and befriend one another in their introductory women’s studies course. However, they have something else in common in addition to sexual orientation: each is behind an anonymous Instagram account for relationship advice. Sophie has been running the “Dear Wendy” account for several months, and Jo recently started up “Sincerely, Wanda” as an acerbic Dear Wendy spoof that inadvertently gained its own following. As the two students navigate college life, friendship, and being young aro/ace people in a sea of horny roommates and peers, Sophie and Jo bond while their alter egos feud. What could possibly go wrong?
To say that I love this setup, with its implicit promise of romcom-level misunderstandings and hope for reconciliation, would be an understatement. Although romance isn’t my favourite genre, I have nothing against it, and I actually enjoy a good romcom. But comedies that privilege friendship tend to be quirky buddy comedies. Dear Wendy joins a handful of other stories I can recall that give us a romcom-like story arc to a platonic relationship (shout-out to the Canadian indie film Almost Adults as another example).
To say that I felt seen as an aroace woman with this book is also an understatement. I kept comparing myself to each of the two protagonists, alternatively at times identifying more with Sophie or Jo (but, if I am being honest with myself, I am a total Sophie!). While a lot about each character is different from my story (I’m not the child of immigrants; I don’t have two moms; I never went to an American college, let alone a historically “women’s” college like Wellesley), those details don’t matter as much as the vibes present here. Plus, like these two, I am that aroace always giving her friends relationship advice—seriously.
But most importantly, I know what it is like to watch my friends hook up, pair off, find a romantic soulmate, and wonder what’s out there for me. I know what it is like to question my gender. And I know what it’s like to be confident in my identity but have others (not my parents, thank goodness, but plenty of other people) tell me it’s just a phase or something I will get over once I find “the right person” (it’s not, and I won’t).
All of this is to say that many aro/ace readers are going to see parts of themselves in Sophie and Jo, and it’s lovely.
But I think I need to speak to allo readers (those of you who experience sexual or romantic attraction) for a moment. I don’t want to give the impression that this book is only for aro/ace readers. If anything, I think it is more important for allo readers to pick up Dear Wendy, and I think you will enjoy it too.
First, so many of the best parts of this book are only tangentially related to Sophie and Jo’s queer identities. Zhao suffuses this book with nonstop gags and powerful scenes of female friendship. Whether it’s Sophie bonding with her women’s studies prof, Jo spending time with their roommates, or the two of them hanging out and watching a movie (until Jo disturbs Sophie by breaking down and crying, lol), Dear Wendy is pitch-perfect new adult storytelling. It’s about two young people finding their independence in college, getting super excited about dumb shit and important stuff alike, making mistakes, and picking themselves back up after they fall down. It’s beautiful.
Second, I love how the conflict in this story is so mellow. Everyone around Sophie and Jo is just so damn supportive, and it is the kind of wholesome energy I need in April 2024. All of the conflict in this book comes from realistic misunderstandings and behaviour that makes sense for young college students. When everything inevitably blows up in Sophie and Jo’s friendship, it blows up in a sensible way, the drama far from melodramatic. There are no larger-than-life villains in this book. Even Sophie’s relationship with her aphobic mother is a nuanced one.
Zhao has somehow managed to capture what it’s like to live in an aphobic (and, more broadly, queerphobic) society without including overt instances of aphobia, homophobia, transphobia, etc. Maybe this is a consequence of the inclusive setting of Wellesley—which, as Sophie and Jo discover, is far from perfect but seems to be a refreshing bubble of acceptance. There are no moustache-twirling queerphobes here. (The dearth of cis straight male characters in the book might also have something to do with this, but I was even expecting one of the female characters to take off her mask and reveal she was secretly a TERF or aphobe or something, and it never happens.)
Which brings me to the final reason I need allo readers to devour Dear Wendy: I need you to see happy, well-adjusted aro/ace characters in fiction. Yeah, Sophie has some friction with her parents, and Jo has their moments of struggling with what their sexuality means for their future. At the end of the day, though, they are no more or less happy than their allo peers. (If anything, they both embody the sheer relief I often feel as my friends recount their relationship problems to me, and all I can think is, “That sounds exhausting. Couldn’t be me!”) Dear Wendy, with its subversion of romantic tropes to deliver us an HEA predicated upon platonic values, is a daring form of resistance to compulsory sexuality.
At this point you might be thinking, “Kara, of course you’re going to give this book five stars because you are incredibly biased.” And, reader, you might be right (but whomst among us is not?). Except that when I look back at my asexual-themed reads, I find that I actually tend to be quite critical. So instead of taking this rating and review with a grain of salt, view it as what it is: a full-throated and unabashed endorsement of an aro/ace-themed novel that gets it. And no, Dear Wendy cannot be everything to every aro/ace reader. Sophie and Jo are but two characters, of a particular age, following a particular plot. We continue to need a plethora of diverse aro/ace stories, and many of those won’t work for me.
But this one does. Oh, does it ever. If I could have a platonic life partnership with this book, I would.
I will never walk down an aisle towards the partner of my dreams. I will probably never live with anyone else. I am in my thirties, and my friends are pairing up and having children, and I feel like a movie character caught in a time-lapse effect where they stand still while the background extras turn into motion blurs around them. Being aro/ace can be incredibly lonely at times. But it can also feel incredibly freeing. Dear Wendy explores both of these truths, and it does so with incredible grace and no small amount of wisdom.
Originally posted on Kara.Reviews.
September 5, 2024
— three point five stars, rounded up.
for starters, i think my reading slump is finally over! this is my first book since like... may, so that's a feat.
for what it was, dear wendy was a cute story. i rarely see such blatant, forefront aro/ace rep, so this was a nice change of pace from the gobs and gobs of romance stories being lobbed at you constantly. platonic relationships and platonic love feel like such a lost art, so it was nice to see something that put so much focus on that. i think ann zhao did an incredible job at showing that love can come from so much more than a romantic place—platonic love is just as important and just as beautiful as romantic love. i loved sophie and jo's friendship, i love their friendships with their roommates. i loved how real and healthy all of the friendships were. tens across the board in that aspect.
i also enjoyed the depiction of parental relationships, and the drastic contrast between sophie's parents, moderately conservative people who felt her aroace identity was just a phase, and jo's moms, who were a little more accepting. i feel like parental relationships tend to get lost when writing stories like these, so i really enjoyed the tidbits that we got, and i felt that the situation with sophie's parents was handled with a lot of grace and also very realistically.
my issues with this book, and why i couldn't bring myself to give it a full four stars or even five, stem from the fact that everyone felt... chronically online, almost. like this book will be dated in a few years, and that's unfortunate, because the message is important. also, for college students, jo and sophie both felt very very childish. for instance, arguing over instagram stories as anonymous accounts is something i would—and honestly did—do in middle school. that isn't something i see college students doing, and it made the drama and the climax feel very petty and childish. i would've much rather seen this go a different route with the anonymous accounts, because i feel like what ann tried to do and what actually happened were two very different things, and it did not hit the same at all.
as well, the characters felt very formal, and it's a pet peeve of mine when authors don't use contractions in dialogue. no teenager is going to be like "yeah i do not like that. i cannot believe this. it is over there" in casual, day to day dialogue. that isn't an issue with ann though, just in general because i feel like i read too many authors that do that, and it drives me insane.
but anyway, for what it's worth, this was a cute book. it dragged a bit, but i think the overall message and representation that this book has is more important than a bit of a dragged out storyline. i also acknowledge that this is ann's debut novel, so i can give her some grace as she tries to find her voice in writing and fall into something that works for her. i give her all the flowers for making her debut something with representation that is undeniably needed, and i think that, with what she had, she did a great job.
for starters, i think my reading slump is finally over! this is my first book since like... may, so that's a feat.
for what it was, dear wendy was a cute story. i rarely see such blatant, forefront aro/ace rep, so this was a nice change of pace from the gobs and gobs of romance stories being lobbed at you constantly. platonic relationships and platonic love feel like such a lost art, so it was nice to see something that put so much focus on that. i think ann zhao did an incredible job at showing that love can come from so much more than a romantic place—platonic love is just as important and just as beautiful as romantic love. i loved sophie and jo's friendship, i love their friendships with their roommates. i loved how real and healthy all of the friendships were. tens across the board in that aspect.
i also enjoyed the depiction of parental relationships, and the drastic contrast between sophie's parents, moderately conservative people who felt her aroace identity was just a phase, and jo's moms, who were a little more accepting. i feel like parental relationships tend to get lost when writing stories like these, so i really enjoyed the tidbits that we got, and i felt that the situation with sophie's parents was handled with a lot of grace and also very realistically.
my issues with this book, and why i couldn't bring myself to give it a full four stars or even five, stem from the fact that everyone felt... chronically online, almost. like this book will be dated in a few years, and that's unfortunate, because the message is important. also, for college students, jo and sophie both felt very very childish. for instance, arguing over instagram stories as anonymous accounts is something i would—and honestly did—do in middle school. that isn't something i see college students doing, and it made the drama and the climax feel very petty and childish. i would've much rather seen this go a different route with the anonymous accounts, because i feel like what ann tried to do and what actually happened were two very different things, and it did not hit the same at all.
as well, the characters felt very formal, and it's a pet peeve of mine when authors don't use contractions in dialogue. no teenager is going to be like "yeah i do not like that. i cannot believe this. it is over there" in casual, day to day dialogue. that isn't an issue with ann though, just in general because i feel like i read too many authors that do that, and it drives me insane.
but anyway, for what it's worth, this was a cute book. it dragged a bit, but i think the overall message and representation that this book has is more important than a bit of a dragged out storyline. i also acknowledge that this is ann's debut novel, so i can give her some grace as she tries to find her voice in writing and fall into something that works for her. i give her all the flowers for making her debut something with representation that is undeniably needed, and i think that, with what she had, she did a great job.
April 19, 2024
THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE. THIS IS NOT SAPPHIC. STOP TAGGING IT AS SUCH.
this is a platonic love story.
I kinda feel like I have been out as aroace too long to be having this much of an existential crisis.
Y'all. This book. You need it.
I finished this book like 1 minute ago and I'm kind of speechless honestly. I laughed and cried and contemplated my entire existence throughout the 5-hour audiobook experience and now I don't know what's going on. So for right now I'm going to keep it short and sweet and say that you absolutely need to read this book no matter what. I feel like we get a lot or a decent chunk of books that have platonic plot lines or no romance within the sci-fi and fantasy genres of bookstagram but there is still a serious need for these stories in contemporary books. As someone who gravitates a lot more to contemporary stories, I loved this book so so much.
I cannot thank @coloredpagesbt enough for hosting this book tour, @fiercereads for providing me with a final copy and to @annzhao_ for writing such a phenomenal book.
I'm going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes 💚💜
"when you’re asexual or aromantic or both, to accept your sexuality, you have to accept that you’re probably going to question it for a really long time, and possibly the rest of your life. Because there’s that part of your brain that goes, like, who’s to say it can never happen, right? What if that person made me nervous because I like them, what if liking romcoms makes me—sorry, what if it means I want that for myself. Or …or what if I’m an extremely late bloomer? It’s so hard to prove a lack of something, much harder than to prove something exists. So those thoughts might never go away. They haven’t for me, and I’ve identified as aroace for almost five years. But you know yourself. And you know the way you feel. So …let those thoughts run their course. They’re not real unless you make them real, but they’ll happen, and you just need to accept that they’ll be a part of you, but they don’t define you.”
this is a platonic love story.
I kinda feel like I have been out as aroace too long to be having this much of an existential crisis.
Y'all. This book. You need it.
I finished this book like 1 minute ago and I'm kind of speechless honestly. I laughed and cried and contemplated my entire existence throughout the 5-hour audiobook experience and now I don't know what's going on. So for right now I'm going to keep it short and sweet and say that you absolutely need to read this book no matter what. I feel like we get a lot or a decent chunk of books that have platonic plot lines or no romance within the sci-fi and fantasy genres of bookstagram but there is still a serious need for these stories in contemporary books. As someone who gravitates a lot more to contemporary stories, I loved this book so so much.
I cannot thank @coloredpagesbt enough for hosting this book tour, @fiercereads for providing me with a final copy and to @annzhao_ for writing such a phenomenal book.
I'm going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes 💚💜
"when you’re asexual or aromantic or both, to accept your sexuality, you have to accept that you’re probably going to question it for a really long time, and possibly the rest of your life. Because there’s that part of your brain that goes, like, who’s to say it can never happen, right? What if that person made me nervous because I like them, what if liking romcoms makes me—sorry, what if it means I want that for myself. Or …or what if I’m an extremely late bloomer? It’s so hard to prove a lack of something, much harder than to prove something exists. So those thoughts might never go away. They haven’t for me, and I’ve identified as aroace for almost five years. But you know yourself. And you know the way you feel. So …let those thoughts run their course. They’re not real unless you make them real, but they’ll happen, and you just need to accept that they’ll be a part of you, but they don’t define you.”
April 2, 2024
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
A solid, middle-of-the-road book for me. If you like lighthearted contemporaries that focus on identity, this is a great pick. Plus, it's one of the rare YA books (and actually YA, not adult/new adult) that's set in college!
The strongest element for sure was the aro/ace representation, which is what I came for. It did a good job of capturing the fact that asexuality is a spectrum and normalized it as an identity. Everything else though was a bit more rocky. Most noticeably for me was the voice/writing style. I'm constantly clamoring for YA books set in college, so I definitely didn't want this to sound like an adult book; however, both characters' voices sounded incredibly juvenile. I'm always hesitant to use that word when it comes to critiquing YA because there's nothing worse than an adult reviewer complaining that the teens in a teen book sound too much like teens--doesn't make sense. But in the case of Dear Wendy, the voice bordered on sounding like middle grade. I do think that there's a place for YA books with a younger voice since there are YA books with much younger characters, but for this book, it made it difficult to believe that these characters were in college.
Regarding the plot, I wasn't very invested in the whole Instagram feud thing. I do think that's connected with the juvenile voice thing though. It just felt like such a sudden, unrealistic thing to get so disproportionately mad over. It kind of reminded me of Season 4 of Sex Education (which I love), but with not enough dramatic moments to lead to such dramatic responses. The feud honestly made me really dislike Sophie and Jo, as it brought out a mean side to both of them that I couldn't enjoy (unlike in Sex Education, where everyone is kind of mean and toxic, but I fully enjoy it).
And then the last thing that's probably more of a personal thing but who knows: I wish the Wellesley love was toned down a bit. It became distracting, and it sort of chipped away at the relatability of the book, which I think is important in identity-based YA contemporaries. It wasn't the end of the world and it might not be an issue for other people, but I thought it created distance between the author and the reader.
Despite my long, fleshed-out list of cons, I still thought it was an enjoyable, easy read. If you're looking for ace rep and some bantering, this is a decent pick.
A solid, middle-of-the-road book for me. If you like lighthearted contemporaries that focus on identity, this is a great pick. Plus, it's one of the rare YA books (and actually YA, not adult/new adult) that's set in college!
The strongest element for sure was the aro/ace representation, which is what I came for. It did a good job of capturing the fact that asexuality is a spectrum and normalized it as an identity. Everything else though was a bit more rocky. Most noticeably for me was the voice/writing style. I'm constantly clamoring for YA books set in college, so I definitely didn't want this to sound like an adult book; however, both characters' voices sounded incredibly juvenile. I'm always hesitant to use that word when it comes to critiquing YA because there's nothing worse than an adult reviewer complaining that the teens in a teen book sound too much like teens--doesn't make sense. But in the case of Dear Wendy, the voice bordered on sounding like middle grade. I do think that there's a place for YA books with a younger voice since there are YA books with much younger characters, but for this book, it made it difficult to believe that these characters were in college.
Regarding the plot, I wasn't very invested in the whole Instagram feud thing. I do think that's connected with the juvenile voice thing though. It just felt like such a sudden, unrealistic thing to get so disproportionately mad over. It kind of reminded me of Season 4 of Sex Education (which I love), but with not enough dramatic moments to lead to such dramatic responses. The feud honestly made me really dislike Sophie and Jo, as it brought out a mean side to both of them that I couldn't enjoy (unlike in Sex Education, where everyone is kind of mean and toxic, but I fully enjoy it).
And then the last thing that's probably more of a personal thing but who knows: I wish the Wellesley love was toned down a bit. It became distracting, and it sort of chipped away at the relatability of the book, which I think is important in identity-based YA contemporaries. It wasn't the end of the world and it might not be an issue for other people, but I thought it created distance between the author and the reader.
Despite my long, fleshed-out list of cons, I still thought it was an enjoyable, easy read. If you're looking for ace rep and some bantering, this is a decent pick.
Want to read
April 18, 2023Wholeheartedly delighted to see more queer YA with BIPOC protagonists!
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