Shari Franke: Reclaiming Control, Embracing Growth, and Defining Legacy in the House of My Mother

by Sophia Ezra

103 pages, Paperback

Published January 16, 2025

Reviews

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have so much to say about this book.

First of all, I hope these children find healing and go on to have as normal a life as possible.

The author does a good job of capturing what it’s like to grow up with a parent who is a narcissist (and who I suspect may also have borderline personality disorder). I grew up in a similar situation, although not as extreme, and can relate to not being allowed to go to therapy, having to keep family secrets, feeling like I was walking on eggshells and had to be perfect, and feeling like punishments were not for my benefit but rather an outlet for rage.

She makes some very good points about the ethics of putting minors on social media, and blurring the lines between authenticity and performance. It is probably one of the more extremes examples of how what you see on social media isn’t real.

I am a member of the same faith as the Franke family, and while there isn’t necessarily anything super incorrect about our faith in this book, I do think this family had their own interpretations of our faith and emphasized certain things to more of an extreme.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Crazy story. As someone who shares the same faith as Shari, it is horrific to hear words and phrases that have always been sources of spiritual guidance twisted to be manipulative and abusive. Also what the heck DEREK??????? I mean I know she was over 18 (BARELY) but def REEKS of child abuse and rape. NOTHING HAPPENED TO HIM???? EVER??????? Like if I went to church with someone who had done that I feel like it’s owed to the community to be made aware so they can protect their children. Reinforcing my standard to never let my kids have sleepovers — you can never really know who people are. It really was a hopeful story though— I’m glad she’s found peace and healing. I even think she’s gotten married?? But I wish I could go back in time and give that little college student a hug and tell her that her fam is crazy and that she is amazing and right about it all. And SMACK her stake president.

[Ann Clay · Rating 4 out of 5]

For someone who was only 21 when she wrote this, Shari Franke did a remarkable job. I’ve read critical reviews here, some suggesting she should have matured more before writing, but that’s missing the point. She and her family want to get their story out and then move on.

I support them in this. They each have a lot of healing to do. For the kids, it may go on throughout their lifetimes.

Who knows when Ruby will be released? I hope it’s far more than her four year minimum. She should not be allowed contact with any minor children—hers or others. These kids need to get their work done to strengthen themselves before their ‘mom’ is released.

Let’s leave them alone.

[Kyndul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully done. I didn’t think that I would be as captivated by the memoir from the victim of family vlogging as I was. The writing and story telling was beautiful and did such an amazing job of maintaining the focus on Shari while respecting the younger children’s privacy. Capturing the story of child abuse in the digital age is not an easy task, but this book told a story and was able to capture the raw and real nature of this sort of situation.

[Emilee Harwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book. Shari explained everything so eloquently and it was so hard to put this book down. It seemed like she didn’t let emotion blow what happened out of proportion, she stated what happened in a very mature way but wrote this story in a way that captured everything so well. It envokes a lot of emotion as a reader, imagining everything that she went through and she painted a picture so clearly.

[Caroline Fry · Rating 3 out of 5]

how awful, Shari Franke delivers a powerful, introspective look at finding freedom and self-worth within the constraints of family, faith, and public life. This is tragic, sad and awful. Here to hoping for healing for all the children.

[Isabella · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 stars for the amount of respect I have for Shari

[Judy Kullenberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad

[Carly Crowther · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was looking forward to reading this book from the perspective of Ruby Frankie‘s daughter. There is so much trauma growing up LDS, my husband was a devout believer until he was 23. He is now happily Christian and very glad to be out of the shame culture of Mormonism.

[Lala · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up The House of My Mother after watching the 8 Passengers docuseries Devil in the Family and feeling deeply unsatisfied with how it addressed the complexities of the Franke family. Shari Franke’s memoir fills in many of those gaps—and goes much further—tracing her family's transformation from a strict but relatively typical Mormon household to one marked by physical and emotional abuse, warped by the pressures of internet fame.

Franke bravely recounts not only the control and trauma she endured at home, but also the painful aftermath of being cast out, including how she was quickly exploited by an older man. Her writing is raw and unflinching, and it offers a powerful window into the long-reaching effects of both familial and systemic failure.

By the end of the memoir, Franke appears to be breaking free from the cycle of abuse and beginning to rebuild relationships with her father and siblings. But even in this hopeful turn, there’s a lingering sense of concern—for everything she’s been through, and for her long-term healing. It’s a courageous, heartbreaking, and deeply human story.

[Laura Pyeatt]

Heartbreaking and shocking memoir.