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Manning Up: Transexual Men on Finding Brotherhood, Family and Themselves
Twenty-eight men who transitioned from female to male discuss their roles as male community members: fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, friends, and mentors. Not since Max Wolf Valerio’s The Testosterone Files and Jamison Green’s Becoming a Visible Man has nonfiction seen such thorough and sensitive explorations of manhood, masculinity, and male embodiment—and never in a collection with such a diversity of voices. Contributors offer an incredible range of cultural, class, ethnic, spiritual, and generational backgrounds. Their work addresses topics including birthing and raising children, gay male sexuality, facing racism, and finding solace in deeply held religious beliefs. Contributors include established writers such as Valerio, Aaron Devor (author of FTM: Female-to-Male Transsexuals in Society), and Ryan Sallans (author of Second Son), as well as exciting new authors.
284 pages, Paperback
First published May 25, 2014
27 people are currently reading
592 people want to read
About the author
Zander Keig
6 books15 followersZander Keig, LCSW is a clinical social worker, FtM community advocate, and diversity educator who co-edited the 2011 Lambda Literary Finalist, "Letters for My Brothers: Transitional Wisdom in Retrospect" and the 2015 Lambda Literary Nominee, "Manning Up: Transsexual Men on Finding Brotherhood, Family & Themselves."
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
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June 17, 2014You should read this book. Yes, you. Whoever you are.
Yes, I am a chapter author, but no, that is not why you should read this.
You should read Manning Up because it will: make you smile, make you cry, make you think, and make you feel that the world is big enough for you, and that you are worthy enough for it. Regardless of if you are a man, or trans, or both, or neither. At least, that's what it did for me.
The writers are honest and beautiful (and yes, brave). The stories are personal, and thoughtful, and intellectual.
Where else will you get a chance to hear the wildly different stories of almost 30 different trans men?
Read this book.
Yes, I am a chapter author, but no, that is not why you should read this.
You should read Manning Up because it will: make you smile, make you cry, make you think, and make you feel that the world is big enough for you, and that you are worthy enough for it. Regardless of if you are a man, or trans, or both, or neither. At least, that's what it did for me.
The writers are honest and beautiful (and yes, brave). The stories are personal, and thoughtful, and intellectual.
Where else will you get a chance to hear the wildly different stories of almost 30 different trans men?
Read this book.
March 13, 2022
Great anthology from Transgress Press in 2014: trans men writing personal reflections on their gender transitions.
It's obvious how trans men can benefit from anthologies like this.
Cis people can learn from it too. Specifically, I note the nuance with which the authors talk about gender. This is important. In recent years, I've been aware of an anti-trans trope (yes, of course this trope has no rational basis and is bigoted) according to which cisgender people are said to be capable of thinking about gender with nuance but trans people have no such nuance, since (per the trope) the reason that trans people are trans is that they assume the only way to do anything differently is to change their entire gender category. Now, to clarify, this anthology consists of trans men writers speaking to (probably) trans men readers, so it doesn't explicitly address anti-trans nonsense (nor should it have to), but, look, incidentally, the anti-trans trope is entirely disproven here. Look-look-look at these statements in this anthology. Trans men talking about ambiguity and flexibility:
"...masculinity is more complex than a mixture of violence and superficial posturing. Instead, it can be about mutual respect, acknowledgement, responsibility and compassion....Manhood, like the traditional notion of brotherhood, need not serve as a means to keep people out, but can be a setting within which to welcome people in." ("Masculine Vulnerabilities, Human Connections," p. 33)
"...there is no one 'male' body for cisgender men; why then should there be a single 'male' body that I must aspire to? I am a man, so my body — including my chest before and after surgery — is, and was, a man's body....Surgery was not a magic wand, and I don't walk around in a golden haze of blessed joy and peace." ("The Stone in My Shoe," pp. 36-37)
"...passing is not the 'be-all-end-all' of transitioning. The very term screams problematic. It is not our problem to resemble 'legible' men and women. It's society's problem to redefine its infuriatingly tiny boxes of what is and isn't acceptable!" ("The Performance," p. 69)
"After an arduous three-day labor with no pain medication, I give birth...While I emerge from this challenge with a profound understanding of my own strength and another great kid, it's not the transformation I had been hoping for. The sense that something still isn't right persists and gradually deepens." ("Becoming Aba," p. 92)
"I had once considered these spaces [the boxing gym, barbershop and street corners] incorrigibly sexist and homophobic. In my female/feminist embodiment I couldn't appreciate what these places mean for men and what men get from them socially, emotionally and spiritually: a brotherhood just as powerful as the sisterhood I found in women's communities." ("Not a Caricature of Male Privilege," p. 139)
"I have long known that cisgender men's genitalia retracts when exposed to extreme cold, but this is not something I have experienced directly....[so] my [penis] jokes must be preposterous by default." ("Hiding Behind Humor," pp. 168-169)
"...one of the guys, a white trans man, jokingly quipped: 'I keep waiting for the male privilege to show up.' We all laughed; it seemed funny at the time. The more I've thought about it over the last fourteen years however, the less humorous and more complicated it has become." ("Privilege: I Seem to Have It, Now What?" p. 195)
When we listen to what trans men actually say, we hear them saying normal human stuff, plus they are informed by an inherently interesting, layered, rich gender experience. I hope this book still finds readers today, eight years after its publication. You can see contributors wrestling with the language: "transsexual" in the book's subtitle and in the foreword, and, in some of the essays, "trans*" with an asterisk. (I always understood the abbreviation "trans" primarily as a way of avoiding the distinction of "transsexual" and "transgender," the former bothering many people especially because it was used to refer to an alleged mental disorder that is no longer even recognized as a mental disorder in the US, and as a way of letting those labels and groups merge. By now, the asterisk has been dropped.) Individuals can always choose their own labels. Considered as collective behavior, this community ambivalence about these particular linguistic artifacts is very 2014 and is not a problem. It reflects how the community has spoken in the recent past and, read today, helps flag how the community continues to change. It reflects gender diversity and gender nuance itself.
It's obvious how trans men can benefit from anthologies like this.
Cis people can learn from it too. Specifically, I note the nuance with which the authors talk about gender. This is important. In recent years, I've been aware of an anti-trans trope (yes, of course this trope has no rational basis and is bigoted) according to which cisgender people are said to be capable of thinking about gender with nuance but trans people have no such nuance, since (per the trope) the reason that trans people are trans is that they assume the only way to do anything differently is to change their entire gender category. Now, to clarify, this anthology consists of trans men writers speaking to (probably) trans men readers, so it doesn't explicitly address anti-trans nonsense (nor should it have to), but, look, incidentally, the anti-trans trope is entirely disproven here. Look-look-look at these statements in this anthology. Trans men talking about ambiguity and flexibility:
"...masculinity is more complex than a mixture of violence and superficial posturing. Instead, it can be about mutual respect, acknowledgement, responsibility and compassion....Manhood, like the traditional notion of brotherhood, need not serve as a means to keep people out, but can be a setting within which to welcome people in." ("Masculine Vulnerabilities, Human Connections," p. 33)
"...there is no one 'male' body for cisgender men; why then should there be a single 'male' body that I must aspire to? I am a man, so my body — including my chest before and after surgery — is, and was, a man's body....Surgery was not a magic wand, and I don't walk around in a golden haze of blessed joy and peace." ("The Stone in My Shoe," pp. 36-37)
"...passing is not the 'be-all-end-all' of transitioning. The very term screams problematic. It is not our problem to resemble 'legible' men and women. It's society's problem to redefine its infuriatingly tiny boxes of what is and isn't acceptable!" ("The Performance," p. 69)
"After an arduous three-day labor with no pain medication, I give birth...While I emerge from this challenge with a profound understanding of my own strength and another great kid, it's not the transformation I had been hoping for. The sense that something still isn't right persists and gradually deepens." ("Becoming Aba," p. 92)
"I had once considered these spaces [the boxing gym, barbershop and street corners] incorrigibly sexist and homophobic. In my female/feminist embodiment I couldn't appreciate what these places mean for men and what men get from them socially, emotionally and spiritually: a brotherhood just as powerful as the sisterhood I found in women's communities." ("Not a Caricature of Male Privilege," p. 139)
"I have long known that cisgender men's genitalia retracts when exposed to extreme cold, but this is not something I have experienced directly....[so] my [penis] jokes must be preposterous by default." ("Hiding Behind Humor," pp. 168-169)
"...one of the guys, a white trans man, jokingly quipped: 'I keep waiting for the male privilege to show up.' We all laughed; it seemed funny at the time. The more I've thought about it over the last fourteen years however, the less humorous and more complicated it has become." ("Privilege: I Seem to Have It, Now What?" p. 195)
When we listen to what trans men actually say, we hear them saying normal human stuff, plus they are informed by an inherently interesting, layered, rich gender experience. I hope this book still finds readers today, eight years after its publication. You can see contributors wrestling with the language: "transsexual" in the book's subtitle and in the foreword, and, in some of the essays, "trans*" with an asterisk. (I always understood the abbreviation "trans" primarily as a way of avoiding the distinction of "transsexual" and "transgender," the former bothering many people especially because it was used to refer to an alleged mental disorder that is no longer even recognized as a mental disorder in the US, and as a way of letting those labels and groups merge. By now, the asterisk has been dropped.) Individuals can always choose their own labels. Considered as collective behavior, this community ambivalence about these particular linguistic artifacts is very 2014 and is not a problem. It reflects how the community has spoken in the recent past and, read today, helps flag how the community continues to change. It reflects gender diversity and gender nuance itself.
March 29, 2016
Manning Up is an inspirational, thought-provoking book with a diverse collections of stories by transgender men. The stories, relatable to transgender and cisgender people alike, show resilience, courage, compassion, and human struggle. These personal stories humanize the experiences of transgender people and provide wonderful perspective on both diversity within the transgender community and the shared struggle and challenges that come along with being transgender. I highly recommend that everyone pick up this book and become engulfed in the powerfully-told stories in this collection.
January 11, 2015
This book is an incredibly well-written collection of perspectives on living life as transexual men. Anyone who has ever come to a realization about their true selves will understand and relate to many of the experiences described in the book. The liberation of getting to be one's self is a wonderful topic about which to read. This book is highly recommended and presents many viewpoints about the catharsis of becoming who we really are.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 26, 2016
This is a really good read for anyone wanting to better understand the female-to-male transgender experience. The essays come from a wide range of persons varying in age, race, school and work backgrounds. They also present people in different stages of transition. Some very touching stories which invite the reader to a place of compassion and understanding.
September 16, 2017
Twenty-seven FTM men write about their lives. The quality of the writing is a bit uneven, but they're all good stories and there's a nice variety of ages, transition experiences, etc.
February 11, 2019
As with any anthology, there were articles I enjoyed more and those I enjoyed less. But overall, I'm glad I found this collection and I found it very valuable.
July 23, 2025
As a man of trans experience, I saw a little piece of myself in each and every testimony despite all the different walks of life the guys within come from. It warmed my soul and showed me that at any age, in any place, we can and do thrive.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews