SICK

by Jen Smith

Behind the suburban mom… Behind the successful businesswoman… Is a dark past you would never suspect. Today, Jen Smith is a typical single mom in the ‘burbs, racing to pick up her son from basketball practice, preparing for Cub Scouts and volunteering at the school’s ice cream social. But fifteen years ago her life was a very different story. With the income earned from her small time pot growing business, Jen spent her twenties happily following the Grateful Dead around the country with her beloved dog, JJ and a lively community of deadhead friends. Then she met Greg, whose charisma and swagger eclipsed his prison record. The two quickly developed both a whirlwind romance and a thriving drug operation. Savvy and unsuspecting, Greg and Jen became major operators with connections to powerful Mexicans, moving thousands of pounds of marijuana across the country and amassing over a million dollars in a few years. Theirs was a high-risk, high stakes lifestyle and a daily adrenalin rush. Their wealth afforded them exciting, extravagant luxuries, like lavish vacations to Hawaii, Costa Rica and Jamaica. But there was a darker side as well as the two fell deeper and deeper into ravaging cocaine, meth and alcohol addiction, and as Greg became increasingly unstable and violent. When Jen gets pregnant and has a healthy baby boy, she knows she can’t continue on this dangerous and soul-crushing path. But knowing that and getting out are two different things. Especially when your crack-addicted boyfriend routinely points a loaded gun at your head. Riveting and fast-paced, SICK follows Jen’s harrowing descent into addiction and domestic violence and lifts the curtain to reveal a twisted world few of us could imagine. But SICK is ultimately a story of survival and resilience, of what happens when one woman says, enough and fights to change her life, for her sake and her son’s…before it’s too late.

218 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2012

Reviews

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh this book made me so angry. I know it’s real but I can’t believe someone could behave the way Greg did, especially where his son was concerned. Sometimes I must admit I was annoyed with Jen too. Not because she didn’t see what was happening or didn’t try to get out of it, because she did try to get out of it once she realised what was happening. More I was annoyed at her for going back to the drugs after she gave birth. I had hoped she would realise then that the drugs weren’t helping her situation. However I can understand why she couldn’t give them up, I blame the drugs, not her. In fact in some ways I felt that Jen still blames herself for not getting out. I thought however she was very brave to try so many times, and I could understand why it didn’t work out, she needed to realise she could do better with help.

[Saisha Sandoz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sick is a book about how far life can spiral out of control before you even realize what is happening. Jen Smith does an excellent job bringing you into her world of sex, drugs, and grateful dead. From the moment I started reading I felt like I too was on drugs. Jen starts one trail of thought which lends itself to a whole other story. Jen was brutally honest with choices that were made and the life she led. I had a harder time reading once Bubby is born. Although Jen points out how Greg's behavior affected Bubby, I did not feel she was as forthcoming with how her own choices and behaviors affected her son. I would love to know what happens after the police arrive. Maybe a sequel? I would definetly recommend this book!

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The subtitle of SICK by Jen Smith is "A riveting memoir about drug dealing, addiction, and understanding abuse." All true. The story is a compelling chronicle about Jen’s life as a Deadhead. It’s an unapologetic portrayal of a life centered around drugs: taking them, selling them, enjoying the money earned from them. It’s also an account of her descent into a relationship of terrifying abuse. And a story of how she pulled herself out of it without losing herself in it or her son.

There’s a lot to digest in her journey, from the innocent beginnings to the consuming dependence, despair, and fear. At times she seems in over her head; at other times, she relishes the lifestyle and takes great pride in her business skills; and many times, the addictions take over with frightening focus and urgency. Her story allows us to see and understand how her partner slowly began to control her life, until her finances, her social life, her movements in the world, her very existence, are no longer her own.

I appreciated how directly Ms. Smith told the story, as if she were sitting across the kitchen table, just talking. Not all characters contribute to a traditional “story arc” and sometimes the events ramble across time and dialog drops off. Though an edit pass might have caught some of these issues, the stream of consciousness writing contributes to the immediacy of the memoir.

SICK a difficult memoir to read; there were times when I had to put the book down and take a break. But Ms. Smith’s story will draw you in and you’ll find yourself rooting for her to get out.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to come after some sleep. All I can say at the moment is I read this book straight through with much interest in what was happening and what was to come. I agree that Jens brutal honesty made me angry or upset is a better word but there are different cultures of ppl out there and she's gotten help and always WANTED to give bubby a good life and while yes drugs played a big part in things not going great the main problem here was a narcissistic abusive man named Greg.
Jen shows us how an abusive relationship can drain a fairly confident girl with a good personality and a group of friends and turn all of them and yourself into thinking you are less. She did a great job of what she set out to do.
I agree too a sequel would be nice to hear some of how she got help. Many ppl could use to learn about that as much as the rest. I'm very happy Jen n hubby got away n are happy and I hope Greg got some help too.

[Jo Bournemouth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book felt so honest and so direct from the heart.

I think if I had been younger I would have found insight into the cycle of abuse. Certainly some readers will find that in this book and I hope it will help them see their situation more clearly.

Because she is being so honest you do feel angry with some of the things she does (especially when this leaves the baby in potential danger), but she doesn't try to make you like her; she wants you to understand her. She wants you to recognise signs and mechanisms of abuse and to understand how alcohol and drugs can increase your vulnerability.

This is a memoir not a novel and some readers may want more of a plot. What you get is an honest view on a life which is (probably) very different from you own.

I had this book as a goodreads giveaway.

[Elaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book through First Reads on Goodreads in exchange for an honest review. This book was an extremely powerful book with a compelling story. I'm sure a lot of readers will disagree with me, due to all its triggers: drug use, death by overdose, abuse, you name it-but unfortunately these problems are out there, the author gives a first hand account of being a drug addict, growing/selling pot, drinking, taking more & more drugs as they became available to her, getting into an unhealthy, abusive relationship, running money & drugs across the border, winding up pregnant, then eventually realizing, for her son's sake, she needed to break the horrible cycle she was in. She is now clean, a single mom, successful.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclosure: I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

Thank you, Jen, for sharing your story!

I learned a lot about the Deadhead scene.

I learned a lot about the drug dealing (and using) scene.

I learned a lot about relationship abuse by people with narcissistic personality disorder.

Reading this book was an amazing experience, and I wish Jen well as she continues her recovery!

And please write a sequel!

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's hard to say I "liked" this book because it was definitely not enjoyable subject matter. But I couldn't put it down, because I wanted to know what was going to happen. Read more of my review, coming soon at literaryrr.blogspot.com!

[Karren321 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Once again - another let down at the ending.

There were very much several questions left to ask

How did she get away from him? Did the police care she was involved in moving drugs? What happened to greg - did he go to jail?

Etc etc

[Melanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this because it was recommended to me and the author was from Rhode Island (where I live). The writing wasn't very good and the story jumped around alot. I was not overly impressed with it.

[Nicole]

I absolutely cannot wait to read this!!!!!!!!!!

[Sarah]

not on overdrive