DNF. Great concept, something unique and expectation-subverting, only to be desperate to be just like every other book and "fit in".
This book goes out of its way to try hit all the beats of a stereotypical rubbish romantasy, contorting itself from a challenging, potentially thought-provoking concept to something so predictable and transparent. The author not only treats you like an idiot, having to explain the same moment back to back in multiple chapters from other points of view, but tries so hard to make it as boring and palatable as every other cheap cash grab in this genre that it almost goes against the book's ethos or concept. This concept is meant to be challenging, is meant to go against the status quo just by the nature of having a 200 year old woman, grieving a dead partner, fall for a 20-something year old man. But the author does not deliver on this, frequently forgetting to remark on the fact that this is even something noteworthy at all.
It feels like the author is scared of their own concept. Like they don't want to make it too challenging for fear of putting off readers. The fact the FMC is over 200 years old is seldom mentioned, as if the author is trying to make us forget about it, turn off our brains, and absorb the same story we've heard a million times. I don't want to hear the same story! I want to hear this one! And it doesn't have to be like Eragon, where the female elf sees the human man as a child and therefore undesirable. Make it different but compelling. But instead we have a chicken shit author who is too scared to do something outside the box, despite the brilliant concept they've thought to come up with.
Often, bad storytelling is dumbed down storytelling. Having one POV to say that they could "feel their eyes on them" (which already spells out the feeling of the other character unnecessarily without having to go to their POV, and is often a lazy way of trying to get character emotion across when there are other far more nuanced, emotive and impactful ways of doing so) is one thing. But then to immediately switch to the next chapter, from this other characters POV, just to rehash the same moment again and tell us information we already gathered is mind numbing.
Every chance I thought this book could have to subvert expectations, it did not. Oh, the FMC is hundreds of years old and haunted by her past? She must feel like a weapon, entirely alone, and struggling to come to grips with the death of her loved one. Oh, no, she's just another "badass" FMC who occasionally is seeing visions of her late lover and sometimes feels sad about it. What was unusual, though, was the FMC's drowning herself in alcohol to forget; this is a trope usually reserved for male characters, and I appreciated this divergence. So why wasn't there more of it? Why didn't we see more of this difference?
She is 200 years old, a feared war veteran basically, and is just like every other girl except she yells a lot more. I'm fine with her being ancient and immature, that's an interesting concept - if you explore it. Show her complexity, show more of her haughtiness that comes with being this supposed "badass" archetype the author is desperate to stuff her into. Make her belittle humans or treat them as inferior. Don't tell me, mere chapters into the book from the MMC's perspective, that he immediately understands her and all her facial expressions, can read them perfectly, and that she is "relieved" when he escapes a danger. He hardly knows her - how can he tell that this obtuse, difficult, 200 year old person is "relieved" for him?
And this is the issue with the book. Rushing through to get to the "good stuff". Make your characters complex, make them difficult, make them yearn. Don't make them immediately attracted to each other, picking apart each other's smell, voice, and looks IMMEDIATELY after laying eyes on each other. Make them strangers to each other first that slowly begin to understand one another. If they immediately get each other, where is the suspense? The drama? It's obvious as anything that they will end up together.
So many times I kept reading, because I was like "This is the moment! Most of these books will make her enter the game to save her lovers sister, but she won't! She will be stubborn and steadfast and the story will play out in a different way!" But no. Of course she enters the game.
The MMC is the most lack luster character in this. I thought the arguments between the FMC and her (sort of) sister were compelling, but Cedric was unbelievably boring. I think this wasn't due to a lack of personality, but because the author revealed his hand of cards too early. If he hadn't stood up and announced to a crowd 5 minutes into the book that the FMC had "killed his family" the book would've been far more interesting. Even if he had just hung onto that tidbit for a few more chapters, being hostile towards the FMC without declaring why, the tension and stakes would've felt higher. As an audience, we would've wanted to understand him. But we do not care because everything was immediately laid out on the table and we were told everything on the first few pages of his chapters. No mystery, no story. It's hard to be engaged when everything is spelled out for you. It's hard to want to understand a character when the author makes it impossible for you to NOT understand.
So disappointing. So boring. And, despite my hopes, I'm not surprised.