DILF: Did I Leave Feminism?

by Jude Ellison S. Doyle

In this sharp manifesto, veteran author and activist, Jude Doyle, reunites feminist and trans politics through a common that all people deserve to have the final say about who they are…

When Jude Doyle began his transition in the summer of 2020, he had a very public career as a feminist—winning awards from women’s organizations, writing for women’s magazines, publishing books on “women’s issues.” Then, after a decade in the movement, he had to walk out in front of the public and tell them he had never been a woman at all.

Doyle offers a seldom-heard and much-needed transmasculine perspective on feminist subjects, drawing together strands of intersectional feminist theory and queer and trans politics to show that all their struggles are the same The fight for gender-marginalized people to maintain autonomy and full selfhood in a patriarchy that is always eager to hollow us out and use us to further its own agenda.

DILF offers a strong rebuke to trans-exclusionary feminisms that seek to drive a wedge between gender-marginalized communities. Using interviews, critical analysis, and Doyle’s own personal experience, DILF proves that feminism is a vital and necessary tool for breaking free of patriarchal control, whoever you are.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Queer, Memoir, Politics, Transgender, LGBT

230 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 14, 2025

About the author

Jude Ellison S. Doyle is an author, journalist, and comic book writer living in upstate New York.

Under his former pen name “Sady Doyle,” Jude founded the feminist blog Tiger Beatdown in 2008. He is the author of "Trainwreck: The Women We Love to Hate, Mock, and Fear... and Why" (Melville House 2016), which has been called "smart, funny and fearless" (Boston Globe), "compelling" and "persuasive" (New York Times Book Review). The Atlantic predicted that "Trainwreck will very likely join the feminist canon." Doyle’s second book, "Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers: Monstrosity, Patriarchy and the Fear of Female Power" (Melville House, 2019) was named a Best Non-Fiction Book of 2019 by Kirkus Reviews and was shortlisted for Starburst Magazine’s Brave New Words award. His first non-fiction book under his real name, "DILF: Did I Leave Feminism," will be published by Melville House in the fall of 2025.

In 2021, Jude published "Maw," a limited-series horror comic with artist A.L. Kaplan, for Boom! Studios. His follow-up, "The Neighbors" with artist Letizia Cadonici, was published in 2023, and was nominated for a 2024 GLAAD award for “Outstanding Comic.” Both are now available in collected edition, and Jude’s third series, "Be Not Afraid" with artist Lisandro Estherren, is forthcoming from Boom! Studios.

Reviews

[Nev · Rating 5 out of 5]

DILF is a very engaging and informative read that discusses a transmasculine perspective on feminism, patriarchy, and queer/trans politics. Jude Doyle has an interesting angle as someone who was well known as a feminist writer before publicly transitioning. His own story of how people have responded to him being trans added a lot to the book.

The book covers a lot of ground in a short page count. Bodily autonomy, critiques of TERF ideology, histories of inclusive second wave feminist figures, intersectionality, and more are discussed throughout the book. If you’re interested in queer/trans topics then I’d definitely recommend this book. It succinctly explores the importance of feminism for transmasculine people and how feminism is for everyone.

Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[evie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ☆ Thank you to publishers and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review! First off, I love the cover, it’s eye-catching and beautiful. Doyle’s memoir alongside interviews of other trans voices creates an engaging feminist text from the transmasculine perspective that furthers my study in this space and reaffirms my belief that feminism is for everybody. The writing is informative yet easy to digest, making his unique view assessable to a wide audience from beginners, like me, to to the well-versed.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

DILF: Did I Leave Feminism? – A Fiery, Necessary Reclamation of Feminist Solidarity
Rating: 4.9/5

Jude Doyle’s DILF is a seismic manifesto that crackles with intellectual rigor, raw vulnerability, and unapologetic urgency. As someone who’s grappled with feminism’s evolving boundaries, this book left me electrified—its pages pulsing with the kind of transformative clarity that reshapes how we understand gender, power, and collective liberation.

Why This Book Is Revolutionary
Doyle’s unique vantage point—a transmasculine perspective forged in feminist trenches—bridges divides with surgical precision. His critique of TERF rhetoric isn’t just a rebuttal; it’s a radiant reimagining of feminism as a coalition of bodily autonomy struggles. The chapter dissecting his public transition (winning awards as a woman while becoming a man) is a masterclass in intersectional analysis, exposing how patriarchy weaponizes categorization. Interviews with gender-marginalized communities elevate this beyond memoir into a living archive of resistance.

Emotional Impact & Revelations
This book gutted and galvanized me in equal measure. Doyle’s account of feminist betrayal (walking out as someone they never saw) evoked visceral rage, while his thesis—that trans liberation is feminist praxis—ignited hopeful chills. The passages linking abortion bans to trans healthcare bans (two sides of patriarchal control) reframed my understanding of solidarity. Most poignant was his refusal to “leave” feminism, instead demanding it expand—a call that left me tearfully scribbling in the margins.

Constructive Criticism
While Doyle’s personal narrative is potent, a deeper engagement with Black transfeminist thought (e.g., the legacy of the Combahee River Collective) could strengthen the intersectional framework. The manifesto’s brisk pace occasionally sacrifices nuance—a fuller exploration of class disparities in bodily autonomy would enrich this already stellar work.

Final Verdict
A cornerstone text for our era—Whipping Girl meets The Will to Change, with the polemical fire of Gender Trouble. Doyle doesn’t just defend feminism’s future; he forges it.

Thank you to Edelweiss and Mellville House for the gifted copy. This isn’t just a book; it’s a movement in pages.

Pair with: Trans Liberation for historical context or Feminism Interrupted for complementary critique.

For fans of: Andrea Long Chu’s provocation, Shon Faye’s systemic analysis, and bell hooks’ radical inclusivity.

Note: Keep a highlighter and a protest sign handy—you’ll need both by the final chapter.

[Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75⭐️
Fan-freaking-tastic.

This cleverly titled work was exactly what I was hoping for, and more: a thoughtful and researched look into the intersectionality of a transgender perspective of feminism. I came for the in-depth intellectual feminist and gender theory, but stayed for the heartfelt stories and quick, witty writing. "DILF" was an absolute gem of a work that is necessary reading for any individual.

I want to specifically address those readers who may feel overwhelmed at approaching a theoretical book like this: be not afraid. While Doyle does engage in higher-brow criticisms, the everyday reader can still learn something from this amazing work about how gender, feminism, sexuality, and more engage and effect one another. You will not be disappointed with what you will take from this book.

A huge thank you to Netgalley and Melville House Publishing for an ARC of this work!

[Jude]

I read this book many times (while writing it) and honestly, it's better than I thought a book I had to read 50 times would be. I hope you will read it (once) and have your expectations similarly exceeded.

[Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not what I expected it to be, or really what I wanted it to be. I think I was looking for a book that could resonate with my experiences and guide me in my life journey. And unfortunately this book did not do this. I think it could very life changing to some, just not me personally. Perhaps that is too high of an expectation, and I have just gotten really lucky with the other trans nonfiction literature I have read, A part of that is because this book is not broadly about feminism like I had assumed. It is very much a response to second-wave feminism, which I frankly do not know as much about as I probably needed to in order to fully appreciate this book. Lastly, I struggled a bit with the formatting of the book. All that said, there were a lot of really beautiful lines that I felt deeply, and I learned a lot. I particularly loved the introduction, the “Men” chapter, and the conclusion. The introduction felt the most personal, and the conclusion had a very hopeful and optimistic tone. So overall this book was not what I expected, but it was still important.

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Even the atoms that make up my body have been dirt and fish and birds and trees and other people, and when you look at it that way, the distance from female to male isn’t very long at all. I will keep crossing distances; I will leave other lives and ways of being behind me. That is what I am, what you are, what life is—the act of leaving, of moving, of always becoming some other thing, until we reach the horizon and pass beyond.” -Jude Doyle, 2025

“MORE will I tell thee too: there is no birth of all things mortal, nor end in ruinous death; but mingling only and interchange of mixed there is, and birth is but its name with men. For I was once already boy and girl, thicket and bird, and mute fish in the waves.” -Empedocles, c. 450 BC

[Benny · Rating 5 out of 5]

soooooooooooooo freaking good

[fede ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The question wasn't if I was sexist, but how."

ARC kindly sent by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

DILF is a sharp and honest nonfiction which deserves all the praise, if not more. Thanks to an in-depth and well-done research, Doyle crafts a captivating and informative read about feminism and transness. While recounting his personal experiences as a nonbinary trans man, the author delves into the evolution of feminist theory over the years. By reflecting on why trans people have been painted as the enemy by second-wave feminists and right-wing politicians, we can understand why it's so important to be feminists today. Although the book is short, it manages to explore so many different topics. In the end, there is beauty in uncertainty, in embracing the unknown. Highly recommend!

"To be trans I have to be sure. But I have never been sure about any important decision [...]. No matter how scared I am, or how hard I try to talk myself out of transitioning, I just know [...]. Maybe this is what certainty feels like."

[Tutankhamun18 · Rating 4 out of 5]

//4.5stars//

In DILF, Doyle blends his personal experience, a broad knowledge of trans feminism and cultural criticism into a book about what it means to navigate masculinity as a trans man who spent years working within feminist spaces.

“The only way to respect trans men as men, while also not ignoring the oppression we face, is to recognize that gender identity and gender as a system of power are two different things.”

The book examines how feminism and the patriarcht constructs women and men and concludes that the only really feminist course of action is to include trans men and women in your feminism. The way this was written was very accessible and easy to read and I greatly appreciated the open referencing styke throughout the book and the thorough bibliography and fuether reading section.

A must read for anyone who wants to think about gender and feminism.

Some of my favourite quotes:

“If feminism opposes gender stereotypes (which it does) and rejects traditional gender roles (which it does) and upholds bodily autonomy ("My body, my choice," etc., etc.) then what could be more feminist than rejecting our system of assigned gender and remolding your body to fit the person you knew yourself to be?”

* Gender as identity, as language and a political system of control

“This is gender as a language: Not an eternal truth, or an essential quality, but something you can use to communicate with the world.”

“There it is: Transition is threatening to Western, Christian patriarchies because it entails a change in status. Bluntly, the only reason anyone cares what gender you are is that they need to know whether they can boss you around. Transition is scary because it introduces change into a supposedly inalterable hierarchy: Someone who was intended to rule throws her lot in with the rabble. A born underling dares to equate himself to his boss. In this system, the trans woman can only be a traitor, failing to uphold male su-premacy; the trans man can only be a thief, claiming male dignity he does not deserve; nonbinary people can only be crazy, testifying to a many-gendered reality that does not and cannot exist.”

“I'm writing about this one, because this specific type of encounter-the one that is normal, that is usual, that may even fit some heavily flawed definition of "consensual," but which still represents a degrading and dehumanizing use of another person built on a baked-in power imbalance-seems to be a ubiquitous part of heterosexual dating culture.”

“Again: Patriarchy uses sexual violence and rape to patrol its borders-and trans people, as border-crossers, are always at high risk.”

“THE FACT THAT discussions about child-rearing are automatically framed as discussions about motherhood is sexist. The institution of "motherhood," as we know it, is created largely by men's refusal to do the work of raising their children.”

“"The idea that sex is dimorphic-that there are two types of sexed body, and that they're clearly delineated-has a racist his-tory" writes gender historian Kit Heyam. "As nineteenth-century scientists developed racist taxonomies of human beings, grouping people into the racial categories we've inherited today, they also developed theories about sexual dimorphism." Namely, race scien-iss argued that "white people's bodies were the most 'perfectly divided into male and female, while people of color had fewer differences between the sexes."”

“Slavery was "a theft of the body," Spillers writes, and "under these conditions, we lose at least gender difference in the outcome, and the female and male body become a territory of cultural and political maneuver, not at all gender-related, gen-der-specific." In white supremacist patriarchy, to recognize someone's gender is to recognize their humanity-and dehumanizing them wipes away their gender along with everything else.”

[Marcus (Lit_Laugh_Luv) · Rating 2 out of 5]

[2.5 stars] A solid read that covers several very important and pertinent topics on gender identity, feminism, and their intersection. Doyle brings a plethora of experience and personal anecdotes about their life as a trans man and how it shaped their perspective and relationship to modern feminism. I haven't read as many books about trans men as I would like, so this was a welcome addition to my collection.

If every section were as well-written and succinct as the final section of the book, it would have undoubtedly been a five-star read for me. However, I found myself struggling with the presentation of the material. This is extremely well researched and fairly well written, but needs editing. Doyle has so much to say (which is good!), but it leaves the essays feeling like a launching pad for every idea. Some sections felt like they were circling the drain, while others were lacking cohesion and took the reader on too many journeys at once. The margins contain entire passages that had me jumping back and forth between pages, and though I appreciated the content, the delivery was underwhelming. There were fewer of Doyle's personal experiences included than I expected, but they're still a sizeable portion.

Despite my qualms with the book, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend this. Doyle brings lots of questions and deliberately provides only a few answers - he leaves the reader with the space to reflect and curate their own perspective. The final section, which chronicles Trump's recent re-election and America's descent into fascism, is a particular stand-out I'd encourage everyone to read. I found Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender to be a better reference resource (it is also referenced in this novel), and All the Things They Said We Couldn't Have: Stories of Trans Joy is a great companion piece to this.

Thanks to Melville House for the ARC!

Edit: Changing this to a 2.5 star instead of 3 after some reflection, xoxo

[Shana · Rating 4 out of 5]

***Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review***

I've read a lot of books on feminism and a good number addressing trans issues/experiences, but this is the first one that has really engaged with the intersection of these obviously connected but sometimes in conflict topics. Jude Ellison S. Doyle provides a scholarly, but accessible account and perspective of how all of this is interrelated while also weaving in his own experience. At first, I was afraid that this would be too basic but as I continued to read I understood that Doyle would lead me further into thought and was trusting me to engage with the content at a high level. This book is not, in my opinion, aimed at folks who are at the beginning stages of exploring these topics because it might come across as intimidating and challenging without some previous understanding of the cited materials. But for those who have engaged with and grappled with this before, this is a clear argument for why feminism truly is for everybody.

[Russell Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fascinating set of reflections from an activist whose feminism was complicated--but not, he insists and argues persuasively, undermined--by his transition. Most of his arguments about the necessity of understanding feminism as an attack of the gender binary (as opposed to "merely" an attack on the patriarchy in defense of women's rights, by whichever definition one prefers) hold tightly together, though I confess I liked and learned the most from his side observations and arguments, particularly about the roots of trans-exclusionary radical feminism and its connections to second-wave feminism more broadly. Overall, not a book likely to change any minds, but a book that makes certain a particular--very rare, but nonetheless real--point of view is fully heard.

[Tri · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the free copy*

A much needed commentary on historical and modern feminism about trans conversations. It’s a short book with multiple points at once, but it ultimately guides the reader towards the need for feminism and the need to critically look at its past and present to utilize it today.
Some other trans authors have discussed similar topics, but I appreciate the attention given to trans men in particular, especially through the author’s own experiences as a feminist and transmasculine author.

Short, punchy, and an excellent read for today’s feminists, trans activists, and onlookers.

[Frances Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

ESSENTIAL READING FOR ANY FEMINIST. AND JK ROWLING.

I didn't really know what to expect about a book about feminism by a trans man but that in itself proves just how important a book like this is. Doyle's easy-to-read chapters quickly dismantle the gender binary, provide necessary and urgent divisions of gender identity and gender as a social construct, and make it very clear how trans people SHOULD be at the forefront of feminism if it is to have lasting and meaningful impact on all lives. Please go read.

[Isaiah · Rating 5 out of 5]

To read a full review check it out here.

The goofy title got my attention, but then Doyle kept me reading with clear points and a wonderful read. The world needs more trans masculine works.

[A'Llyn Ettien · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoughtful exploration of feminist theory and practice and the experience of transmasculinity. An interesting read.

[sevarenii · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating and engaging read.

[B Pod · Rating 4 out of 5]

as a transmasculine person who never wavered in their feminism this feels a little preaching to the choir (some interesting history tho)... but would heartily reccomend to allies

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

*4.5
DILF is an engaging read that I almost read in one sitting. Doyle covers a lot of ground in 240 pages from TERF ideology to intersectionality to his own transition. I really enjoyed how this book explained the importance of feminism for transmasculine people as well as all the books for further reading mentioned throughout. I highly recommend reading this book along with A Short History of Trans Misogyny by Jules Gill-Peterson.