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Beamish Boy: A Memoir of Recovery & Awakening
“. . .A beautifully written memoir. . .poignant and inspirational, comical and terrifying!”
—Kirkus
“. . .a fascinating, poetic memoir. . .”
—ForeWord Reviews
"Albert Flynn DeSilver’s extraordinary story of second chances is about cultivating a creative life of joy and generosity out of the ashes of fear, doubt, and trauma.”
—Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author, Love for No Reason and Happy for No Reason
“I was raised in a clock tower with bats in the belfry.” So begins, Beamish Boy, the harrowing account of Albert Flynn DeSilver’s inspirational journey from suicidal alcoholic to Poet Laureate and beyond. Though growing up in material privilege in suburban Connecticut in the 1970’s and 80’s, Albert finds himself whirling through an emotional wasteland void of love, complicated by his mostly absent alcoholic mother, while being raised by a violent Swiss-German governess. A dramatic downgrade in lifestyle right at adolescence inspires a hasty attraction to alcohol, drugs, and a series of increasingly shocking adventures.
Filled with a luminous cast of characters, and told with searing honesty and ironic wit, Beamish Boy is a redemptive story of survival and letting go, as we follow Albert from one zany adventure and near-death experience to the next. He is run over by his best friend after blacking out in a driveway, contracts malaria in east Africa, and joins a psychedelic “therapy” cult, until he miraculously finds himself, through photography, poetry, and a hilarious awakening at a meditation retreat center, realizing finally, what it means to be fully alive and to truly love.
Beamish Boy charts a compelling spiritual journey, from violence and self-annihilation to creativity and self-realization. Not your typical addiction memoir, Beamish Boy reads more like a witty and poetic novel, offering a profound window into the human condition, complete with its tragedies and ecstasies—illuminating one man’s quest for lasting wisdom.
—Kirkus
“. . .a fascinating, poetic memoir. . .”
—ForeWord Reviews
"Albert Flynn DeSilver’s extraordinary story of second chances is about cultivating a creative life of joy and generosity out of the ashes of fear, doubt, and trauma.”
—Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author, Love for No Reason and Happy for No Reason
“I was raised in a clock tower with bats in the belfry.” So begins, Beamish Boy, the harrowing account of Albert Flynn DeSilver’s inspirational journey from suicidal alcoholic to Poet Laureate and beyond. Though growing up in material privilege in suburban Connecticut in the 1970’s and 80’s, Albert finds himself whirling through an emotional wasteland void of love, complicated by his mostly absent alcoholic mother, while being raised by a violent Swiss-German governess. A dramatic downgrade in lifestyle right at adolescence inspires a hasty attraction to alcohol, drugs, and a series of increasingly shocking adventures.
Filled with a luminous cast of characters, and told with searing honesty and ironic wit, Beamish Boy is a redemptive story of survival and letting go, as we follow Albert from one zany adventure and near-death experience to the next. He is run over by his best friend after blacking out in a driveway, contracts malaria in east Africa, and joins a psychedelic “therapy” cult, until he miraculously finds himself, through photography, poetry, and a hilarious awakening at a meditation retreat center, realizing finally, what it means to be fully alive and to truly love.
Beamish Boy charts a compelling spiritual journey, from violence and self-annihilation to creativity and self-realization. Not your typical addiction memoir, Beamish Boy reads more like a witty and poetic novel, offering a profound window into the human condition, complete with its tragedies and ecstasies—illuminating one man’s quest for lasting wisdom.
- GenresMemoir
277 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 29, 2012
13 people are currently reading
140 people want to read
About the author
Albert Flynn Desilver
11 books55 followersAlbert Flynn DeSilver is an internationally published poet, memoirist, novelist, speaker, and workshop leader. He served as Marin County’s very first Poet Laureate from 2008-2010. His work has appeared in more than 100 literary journals worldwide including ZYZZYVA, New American Writing, Hanging Loose, Jubilat, Exquisite Corpse, Jacket (Australia), Poetry Kanto (Japan), Van Gogh’s Ear (France), and many others. He is the author, most recently of Beamish Boy: A Memoir, Spring 2012, Letters to Early Street, Spring 2007 from La Alameda/University of New Mexico Press, and Walking Tooth & Cloud, January 2007 from French Connection Press in Paris. His new book "Writing as a Path to Awakening: A Year to Becoming an Excellent Writer and Living an Awakened Life," is due out from Sounds True September 1, 2017.
He has read and performed with many of America’s literary legends including Cheryl Strayed, Maxine Hong Kingston, Michael McCluer, Anne Waldman, Quincy Troupe, Kay Ryan, and many others.
He has taught writing and meditation workshops for twenty years––from the University of California-Davis to AWP in New York City to the British Institute in Paris.
He has read and performed with many of America’s literary legends including Cheryl Strayed, Maxine Hong Kingston, Michael McCluer, Anne Waldman, Quincy Troupe, Kay Ryan, and many others.
He has taught writing and meditation workshops for twenty years––from the University of California-Davis to AWP in New York City to the British Institute in Paris.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
March 21, 2013
I thought this was a well written memoir of a very tumultuous life. An angry German nanny and emotionally absent alcoholic parents lead to early anger problem and adolescent drug and alcohol use, which leads to heavier drugs and more alcohol that leads to hospitals trips and bad relationships, until finally acceptance, forgiving, and enlightenment. You've read it before. This book however was one of the better written memoirs that I've read.
I have trouble finding anything more to say for the simple fact that I found it hard to connect to him as a person. I went through much of the same stuff with a lot less money; alcoholic parents, change the angry German nanny for an abusive step-father, early drug and alcohol use, bad relationships, emotional outbursts, only I didn't get to travel to other states and countries at a whim and live off my parents at any point in my life while I sat around and played artist (which he did until his late twenties while living in San Fransisco and attending SFSU and poetry readings). For that reason, I just couldn't connect with him. It was well written though, but I already said that.
One thing that threw me in the final pages though was the author's insistence that his story is not who he is and if that is the case I am wondering why he wrote the memoir then.
*** I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads
I have trouble finding anything more to say for the simple fact that I found it hard to connect to him as a person. I went through much of the same stuff with a lot less money; alcoholic parents, change the angry German nanny for an abusive step-father, early drug and alcohol use, bad relationships, emotional outbursts, only I didn't get to travel to other states and countries at a whim and live off my parents at any point in my life while I sat around and played artist (which he did until his late twenties while living in San Fransisco and attending SFSU and poetry readings). For that reason, I just couldn't connect with him. It was well written though, but I already said that.
One thing that threw me in the final pages though was the author's insistence that his story is not who he is and if that is the case I am wondering why he wrote the memoir then.
*** I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads
August 5, 2012
Wow.
I loved this Memoir.
I will admit something. When I saw first saw this book on the goodreads giveaway list I had no idea who Albert Flynn Desilver was. I just noticed the title and thought "Oh...Beamish Boy...jabberwocky!" I did read the description and saw it was a memoir..most people I'm sure would have passed it over if they didn't recognize the name of the author...But I thought it would be great to read about someones life BEFORE I look into what they do. So I wouldn't have an idea in my head of what they were like in real life and then be shocked!
I just adored this book!
It was so easy to read and it was refreshingly honest. I laughed and then I actually cried a bit too. Which is something I hardly ever do while reading books anymore.
I look forward to reading more of Desilvers book and I will definitely recommend this memoir.
I loved this Memoir.
I will admit something. When I saw first saw this book on the goodreads giveaway list I had no idea who Albert Flynn Desilver was. I just noticed the title and thought "Oh...Beamish Boy...jabberwocky!" I did read the description and saw it was a memoir..most people I'm sure would have passed it over if they didn't recognize the name of the author...But I thought it would be great to read about someones life BEFORE I look into what they do. So I wouldn't have an idea in my head of what they were like in real life and then be shocked!
I just adored this book!
It was so easy to read and it was refreshingly honest. I laughed and then I actually cried a bit too. Which is something I hardly ever do while reading books anymore.
I look forward to reading more of Desilvers book and I will definitely recommend this memoir.
May 1, 2013
I am a huge fan of memoirs and I am glad I got a chance to read this one via Goodreads Giveaways. Albert Desilver has such a beautiful way of writing. There are many humorous moments in this book such as the parts about his tyrannical German governess. I really enjoyed reading this memoir and I would definitely recommend it to other people.
May 15, 2012
Albert Flynn DeSilver was not always a beamish boy. If this book were fiction rather than memoir, the opening chapter is enough to make you wonder if he’d live long enough to even flicker. After getting my attention, DeSilver deftly backtracked to describe his emotionally bleak childhood in the Bell Tower, an architecturally unique abode with an abundance of bats — in the belfry and elsewhere — under the wary eye of “Das Hell Frau,” otherwise known as Miss Hedy, the family’s German-Swiss governess from Zurich. Not surprisingly, DeSilver fell in early with friends who had easy access to alcohol, beginning his downward spiral. His slide into binge drinking/drugs/sex blurs into similar stories found in an abundance of recovery memoirs.
Although his decline and many predicaments are predictable, a quick look at the Table of Contents is enough to show that his adventures and perspective are not. Who else attended Camp Pummelton or East Jesus Junior High? He goes from a Rocky Mountain Low to a Balcony in Africa. When in Doubt, he Joined a Cult. Later he had A Date With the Dalai Lama in Central Park.
What sets this book apart, far more than the unique path DeSilver found for eventual redemption, are the subtly compassionate humor with which he softens the account of his own and his family’s fundamental dysfunction, his tenderly frank admissions of human longing and frailty, lyrical description, and most of all, his profound realization that “I am not my story.” That realization enabled him to gradually transcend his dark and sordid past to become that metaphorical beamish boy. This simple, unheralded wisdom will remain with me long after details of the story have faded.
Although his decline and many predicaments are predictable, a quick look at the Table of Contents is enough to show that his adventures and perspective are not. Who else attended Camp Pummelton or East Jesus Junior High? He goes from a Rocky Mountain Low to a Balcony in Africa. When in Doubt, he Joined a Cult. Later he had A Date With the Dalai Lama in Central Park.
What sets this book apart, far more than the unique path DeSilver found for eventual redemption, are the subtly compassionate humor with which he softens the account of his own and his family’s fundamental dysfunction, his tenderly frank admissions of human longing and frailty, lyrical description, and most of all, his profound realization that “I am not my story.” That realization enabled him to gradually transcend his dark and sordid past to become that metaphorical beamish boy. This simple, unheralded wisdom will remain with me long after details of the story have faded.
September 10, 2013
Desilver���s jaunty little memoir, ���Beamish Boy,��� settles on a pleasant narrative of twilight transformations, instructed by a voice both artful and untethered; there���s a whisper of pedantry, which, when given track, is willfully apparent ��� cigarettes, in particular, are gruesomely bedeviled, a tiny caveat of peculiar annoyance to this reader, whose unbothered predilection for these carcinogenic delights is almost ambrosial. The small scrapings aside, this is a good, well-manicured piece of writing. Desilver ���wrestles the Jabberwocky,��� here a manifestation of innumerable origins; a vice-bloated German governess, a history of youthful consternation, and, most audibly, a hellish bout with alcoholism and drug use. The poet recounts, in absorbing detail, maniacal mushroom journeys and apoplectic alcoholic scramblings, narrowly avoiding a collision with the booze-hungry turnout of Bukowski, or the washy, inebriated glimpses of William S. Burroughs. I���ll drink to that.
June 23, 2012
Well written and conceived, at turns heart breaking and laugh out loud funny, I adore the quirky descriptions and dialog of this Beamish Boy plus fell in love with the author's mother even though she is the cause of so much pain for the narrator. I root for DeSilver all the way through that he can beat the alcohol addiction odds. This memoir does what all good memoirs do for me, make me want to figure out how the author transformed pain into art. Then I want to pick up a pen and get back to work. Thanks for living through your growing up years and sharing your story with us, brave boy/man/accomplished writer.
October 9, 2012
What a strange life experience Albert Flynn Desilver has lived! But for a poet and artist do we expect much else from someone who can catalogue their life from a childhood in a clock tower to adulthood with such flourishes. It’s interesting to read about someone who I knew nothing of and seemingly now know intimately through his or her own words. It fascinates me to read how a writer’s life has shaped his work and from reading Beamish Boy it would be impossible for Desilver’s life experiences not to creep into his words. Quite a terrific read. *** Please note I received this book for free from Goodreads First-reads.
September 18, 2012
Okay, I might be a bit biased as Al's oldest sister Margaret (aka, Maggie) was one of my closest friends growing up... But this is a truly compelling and beautifully written story of their home, their family, and what has shaped the adults Al, Mag, and Serena have become. Thanks to Al for the skill and bravery to share it all (and I mean ALL!) and to all of you for being such wonderful people in my life.
August 2, 2016
The making of a Poet.
Albert SeSilver shares his journey from young alcoholic to sage poet in a rollicking, frank and transparent ride from west to east and back again. Covering the events of life: drugs, sex, love and transcendence in metaphors that mirror back to the reader. A must read for anyone interested in the creative life.... And that should be everyone...
Albert SeSilver shares his journey from young alcoholic to sage poet in a rollicking, frank and transparent ride from west to east and back again. Covering the events of life: drugs, sex, love and transcendence in metaphors that mirror back to the reader. A must read for anyone interested in the creative life.... And that should be everyone...
March 17, 2017
Made me want to start writing again...
This is a wonderfully inspiring, tragic, yet hopeful account of one person's life. A true balance of unapologetic truth that reveals raw humanness at its best (and worst). While reading this beautifully written story, I found permission to delve into my own because we all have a story waiting to be told. Highly recommended!
This is a wonderfully inspiring, tragic, yet hopeful account of one person's life. A true balance of unapologetic truth that reveals raw humanness at its best (and worst). While reading this beautifully written story, I found permission to delve into my own because we all have a story waiting to be told. Highly recommended!
October 20, 2018
I love memoirs. I love hearing the details of another's experience and how they have navigated through the many complexities of life. I enjoyed Desilver's experiences in Northern California, as I am familiar with all the places he has named. I enjoyed reading his journey from drugs and alcohol to sobriety. I love the reminder that we are not our story.
October 14, 2012
A gorgeous, colorful tale of one man's fall and redemption. A grand story, zigzagging from wealthy-wannabe Connecticut to alcoholism to psychedelic-cultish "therapy." All in all, a great read.
April 6, 2013
A nicely done memoir about pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps.
January 4, 2015
Well-written in spots and sometimes hilarious, but the pace was "off" at times. A bit self-indulgent.
August 12, 2015
I loved this. A delightful adventure by a person slightly younger than me, facing real issues, and getting through some pretty rough times.
November 21, 2017
Deliver is a poet and his writing reflects his love of words.
July 1, 2023
I hired Albert as a coach to help me explore a major life/career pivot that I had been grappling with for 15 years. His genuine nature, expertise, and coaching method provided the structure I needed to evaluate, organize, and take action on my vast ocean of insights.
Our work together inspired me to read his memoir, "Beamish Boy." In this book, Albert's willingness to delve into the depths of his past with such vulnerability is truly awe-inspiring. Through his words, he not only reveals his own journey of recovery and spirituality, but he also lends courage to others to confront their own struggles with openness and compassion.
Albert's memoir is a testament to his strength and resilience, and I am deeply moved by his story.
Our work together inspired me to read his memoir, "Beamish Boy." In this book, Albert's willingness to delve into the depths of his past with such vulnerability is truly awe-inspiring. Through his words, he not only reveals his own journey of recovery and spirituality, but he also lends courage to others to confront their own struggles with openness and compassion.
Albert's memoir is a testament to his strength and resilience, and I am deeply moved by his story.
December 29, 2020
A brutally honest account of the author's life and the ramifications of growing up in a love-starved, neglected childhood that inevitably led to falling into the pit of alcoholism with moments of realization before falling again into the comfort of familiarity at the bottom of a glass and finding one's identity in a haze of drunken stupor. Well-written, heart-wrenching, and poetic. I look forward to reading more from Albert Desilver.
October 23, 2020
A brave and moving memoir from its explosive opening chapter to its satisfying conclusion. Albert Flynn Desilver isn't afraid to reveal his vulnerabilities and how his life changed when he recognized them. Inspiring!
May 7, 2012
See what Kirkus and others had to say and read an excerpt at http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/...
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews