This review is critical both because the author literally asked for it at the end of her book and because books covering such intimate topics as developmental disorders in our children should be closely scrutinized. So, I will start and end on a positive note.
The courage required to voluntarily bare all for the world to judge our personal life is almost superhuman. While memoirs are a specific genre of literature they are generally withheld till the end of one’s life for a reason. William’s blow-by-blow account of daily activities is so honest that if you are like me you may find yourself audibly gasping, or averting your eyes at the thought that a person would actually write about events which most of us rush to get through when they occur in daily life and then spend as little time as possible reflecting on later. However, ‘raw’ is not a term I would use to describe it. As I reached the final third of the book I began to realize that most of the verbal interactions with her son, affectionately given the name Ricochet since it described his energy level so well, were too polished, almost scripted. The book began to take on a sense of no longer two humans bumping through the world lovingly holding hands trying to find their way and turned into a realization that William’s actions & words, while human, were always perfectly suited given the circumstances. I was disappointed to see it take this turn because of the value she obviously assigned to the accuracy of happenings. Her Christmas nearly being ruined is a perfect example of willingness to share her life with the reader even when it doesn’t reflect favorably on her. I couldn’t understand why I was now getting the impression that her parenting skills suddenly reached final form and were above reproach. The last third of the book also took on a less structured nature which didn’t fit well. At times it felt like a blog with informalities such as apologizing to her husband, or shortcutting the writing process with profanity instead of searching for a better suited literary device. Sorry, but this is a published book, not 0’s and 1’s stored and easily erased in digital format for consumption by those looking for a distraction. Books are mulled over, highlighted, dog-eared, analyzed, cited, annotated, inscribed - they intrinsically hold more value and shouldn’t be rushed. If I had gotten the sense that these situations and a few others were intentional instead of convenient I probably wouldn’t mind.
This book took a turn for me when William's discussed a hypothetical holiday letter that she imagined writing to her family which consisted of many tribulations throughout the year. I had a visceral reaction to her writing that her son quit baseball because he wasn't getting enough playing time. I was livid. She planted the seed in her son's mind - he had no issue riding the pine and being a member of the team. William's herself had an issue with sitting in the rain at night to watch him (not) play and suggested that he quit. The selection of words is so important. Teaching a child to 'quit' is wrong on so many levels with regards to sports. Teaching a child to 'move on' to a more enjoyable preferred activity at the end of the season is quite different. This led me to see the entire book from a different perspective - newly framed to include a child not benefitting from the life skills learned through persisting in activities but being driven by conveniences of the adults in his life.
Next major objection is the brevity of time with which Williams considered medication as appropriate for her child. She concedes that she thought nothing was wrong with Ricochet until he entered Kindergarten (by the way, pre-school is fairly common, why no mention of it?) and even then only in the classroom after he began to get complaints from his teacher. His behavior at home was typical of any rambunctious boy, it is a little weird for an educated individual not to question best health practices. Looking back, I would have expected her - maybe not someone else - but her, to share more about her research into treating ADHD and discuss what she thought of them. Apparently she is well-read on the subject. Even something as general as “given acceptable medication options historically provided for ‘fixing’ homosexuality less than 50 years ago by the same clinical psychology DSM manual that provided an ADHD diagnosis for my son I critically evaluated whether this was right for Ricochet”. However, she just accepted medication as the logical next step without discussing with the reader why which seems like it was worth including. It led me later in the book to thinking about the physiological toll these were taking on poor Ricochet as he tried to cope with regulating his emotions and maintaining focus while the chemical reactions occurring in his body were inconsistent and out of his control. I couldn’t help but think a skills based approach would have been more beneficial. Which leads me to the positive ending: William’s discussion of services such as IEP, 504, Occupational Therapy, psychiatry, and others are experientially discussed and are a real strength to the book. She advocates for a broad range of support services and lets the reader know what is available. The book is easy to read and organized chronologically which is also nice.
I would recommend this to any parent as summer reading material as I think it is a useful discussion to have - however, I might not recommend it for a specific parent of a child with ADHD because every diagnosis is different and Ricochet’s case could raise your hopes or lead to foreboding anticipation.