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Real Love for Real Life: The Art and Work of Caring
Because we are made in the image of a creatively caring God, we reflect his love and concern when we respond to the distinct calling to care for families, neighbors, friends, and communities. As society grows increasingly technological, isolated, and lonely, those who take their caregiving gifts seriously can fill a tremendous void.
In Real Love for Real Life, caregivers of all kinds can find the help and hope they need to fulfill their calling. Through personal illustrations, timely research, and thoughtful quotations, Andi Ashworth addresses the practicalities, philosophies, challenges, and joys of providing care in the relationships of home and community–leading readers to a greater understanding of the value and the validity of their call to be caregivers. With the encouraging hope and creative insights they’ll find in these pages, they can serve others in more effective, more fulfilling ways–in the name of God.
In Real Love for Real Life, caregivers of all kinds can find the help and hope they need to fulfill their calling. Through personal illustrations, timely research, and thoughtful quotations, Andi Ashworth addresses the practicalities, philosophies, challenges, and joys of providing care in the relationships of home and community–leading readers to a greater understanding of the value and the validity of their call to be caregivers. With the encouraging hope and creative insights they’ll find in these pages, they can serve others in more effective, more fulfilling ways–in the name of God.
176 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
12 people are currently reading
675 people want to read
About the author
Andi Ashworth
2 books24 followersAndi Ashworth is an author, grandmother, cook, gardener, diarist, and co-founder with her husband, Charlie Peacock, of the Art House in Nashville. Together, they've written a new book, Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much: The Way of Love in a World of Hurt. Available everywhere on March 12th.
Andi is also the author of Real Love for Real Life: The Art and Work of Caring. She's a contributor to the books Wild Things and Castles in the Sky: A Guide to Choosing the Best Books for Children (edited by Leslie Bustard, Carey Bustard, and Théa Rosenburg) and A Book for Hearts & Minds: What You Should Read & Why (edited by Ned Bustard).
Andi is also the author of Real Love for Real Life: The Art and Work of Caring. She's a contributor to the books Wild Things and Castles in the Sky: A Guide to Choosing the Best Books for Children (edited by Leslie Bustard, Carey Bustard, and Théa Rosenburg) and A Book for Hearts & Minds: What You Should Read & Why (edited by Ned Bustard).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
September 2, 2017
When I first started this highly recommended book on caregiving and hospitality, if felt like it was just going to restate the obvious. But as I read, it ministered to me in subtle ways and helped me in my own changing season of life. I have gone from full-time homemaker to part-time bread winner, while also finding myself caring for my own parents. This book helped me think through my priorities. I had felt guilty, knowing we needed the money, turning down an extra teaching job which would have left my last child home alone several times a week. This book reminded me that I had made a good and right decision.
January 19, 2017
This was a comforting and grounding book, reminding me of the importance and value of my life's call to care for others. It was also important for me to have affirmation that there is a time to rest, a time to set limits, and a time to focus my care-giving on the small circle of my immediate family.
November 15, 2017
Busyness is an addiction for me sometimes. It makes me feel needed and valuable – but it also can make me feel overwhelmed and unappreciated. For me, Ashworth’s book offered hope on two fronts: grace to work through the necessarily busy times and wisdom to know which busyness I’m supposed to take on and which I’m not.
I had a hard time getting into this book. I read another like it a month ago and loved it. The two women make similar points but have very different styles. I think maybe I just had a hard time switching between the two. I felt like I had more things I needed to do, not fewer, as I read the first half of this book. I told a friend (who also read both) that I felt exhaustion, not relief, as I read.
But just after that conversation, I somehow turned a corner. Maybe it was my friend telling me she preferred this book of the two. Maybe Ashworth just finally got to the part I really needed. In any case, the last half resonated deeply.
I loved this passage she quoted, in a chapter about figuring out who we are supposed to be caring for: “In God’s order, nothing can substitute for loving people. … We make a neighbor of someone by caring for him or her. So we don’t define a class of people who will be our neighbors and then select only them as the objects of our love. … Jesus deftly rejects the question ‘Who is my neighbor?’ and substitutes the only question really relevant here: ‘To whom will I be a neighbor?’ And he knows that we can only answer this question case by case as we go through our days.”
Ashworth addresses the question of being overwhelmed by helping us recognize seasons of life – probably an overused phrase, but overused because it’s so true.
“We can never be all things to all people at all times,” she writes, “but we can be intentional about caring for the relationships that surround us in the present. People will come and go from our lives, and our caregiving responsibilities will shift with the years. Our own needs and our ability to meet the needs of others will changes, but our ultimate calling to care remains.”
While Ashworth is careful not to discount caring by praying – saying, in fact, that it’s a key way to care in some seasons of life (there’s that phrase again!) – she emphasizes the importance of active love.
“I’ve seen again and again the importance of presence, of caring for the body and the physical environment, and of telling God’s truths in combination with observable, concrete acts of care. Our human need is the same from birth through death: We long to experience embodied love. We yearn to be loved in tangible ways.”
Ultimately, this is what I’ll walk away with from this book: A call to love with my whole self the people in my life at that moment. My family first, and then my neighbors, in that rich, broad definition Ashworth gave.
I had a hard time getting into this book. I read another like it a month ago and loved it. The two women make similar points but have very different styles. I think maybe I just had a hard time switching between the two. I felt like I had more things I needed to do, not fewer, as I read the first half of this book. I told a friend (who also read both) that I felt exhaustion, not relief, as I read.
But just after that conversation, I somehow turned a corner. Maybe it was my friend telling me she preferred this book of the two. Maybe Ashworth just finally got to the part I really needed. In any case, the last half resonated deeply.
I loved this passage she quoted, in a chapter about figuring out who we are supposed to be caring for: “In God’s order, nothing can substitute for loving people. … We make a neighbor of someone by caring for him or her. So we don’t define a class of people who will be our neighbors and then select only them as the objects of our love. … Jesus deftly rejects the question ‘Who is my neighbor?’ and substitutes the only question really relevant here: ‘To whom will I be a neighbor?’ And he knows that we can only answer this question case by case as we go through our days.”
Ashworth addresses the question of being overwhelmed by helping us recognize seasons of life – probably an overused phrase, but overused because it’s so true.
“We can never be all things to all people at all times,” she writes, “but we can be intentional about caring for the relationships that surround us in the present. People will come and go from our lives, and our caregiving responsibilities will shift with the years. Our own needs and our ability to meet the needs of others will changes, but our ultimate calling to care remains.”
While Ashworth is careful not to discount caring by praying – saying, in fact, that it’s a key way to care in some seasons of life (there’s that phrase again!) – she emphasizes the importance of active love.
“I’ve seen again and again the importance of presence, of caring for the body and the physical environment, and of telling God’s truths in combination with observable, concrete acts of care. Our human need is the same from birth through death: We long to experience embodied love. We yearn to be loved in tangible ways.”
Ultimately, this is what I’ll walk away with from this book: A call to love with my whole self the people in my life at that moment. My family first, and then my neighbors, in that rich, broad definition Ashworth gave.
March 8, 2009
As you know, Andi, I loved your book! It is very well-written and full of wisdom that I believe God is teaching me to live out. I refer to your book often - thank you.
July 20, 2024
The author paints a beautiful and balanced picture of what caregiving and hospitality and homemaking looks like and its inherent value in the Christian life. Well worth the read.
October 29, 2009
Andi Ashworth’s Real Love for Real Life is an excellent treatment of the Christian call to hospitality. Subtitled “the Art and Work of Caring,” the book is of particular encouragement to those who are serving as caregivers on a full-time basis. In a world that pushes efficiency, speed and uniformity, Ashworth fights for the personal touch, for giving others our time and energy. Through her wonderful anecdotes, she helps readers to understand the importance giving of ourselves to create beauty and to make others welcome.
Ashworth helps readers to navigate the path of hospitality not entertainment and of true caring and not martyrdom. She doesn’t sugar coat caring or pretend that each day will be wonderful and feel fulfilling. She is also careful not to overwhelm readers and spends time explaining that giving care does not mean always saying yes or seeing yourself as the only one capable of caring. She emphasizes the importance of making room in our busy lives to care for others well.
Real Love for Real Life was a call for me to glorify God in the details, not to impress people but to show them that I love them. It was a reminder that even if I don’t always feel validated or encouraged for what I do as a full-time caregiver, I’m valuable and my work is of tremendous importance. I’d recommend this to any Christian woman, single or married, stay at home or working. It will be a tremendous encouragement to you.
Ashworth helps readers to navigate the path of hospitality not entertainment and of true caring and not martyrdom. She doesn’t sugar coat caring or pretend that each day will be wonderful and feel fulfilling. She is also careful not to overwhelm readers and spends time explaining that giving care does not mean always saying yes or seeing yourself as the only one capable of caring. She emphasizes the importance of making room in our busy lives to care for others well.
Real Love for Real Life was a call for me to glorify God in the details, not to impress people but to show them that I love them. It was a reminder that even if I don’t always feel validated or encouraged for what I do as a full-time caregiver, I’m valuable and my work is of tremendous importance. I’d recommend this to any Christian woman, single or married, stay at home or working. It will be a tremendous encouragement to you.
November 26, 2018
Loved this book. It gave words to what I've always felt intuitively: that the work and commitment of living a life of caring is worthwhile and is *something*. Extremely validating to me as a mother who chooses to devote her energies and time to caring for my family and my community. It is definitely becoming a lost art. This is a true classic.
December 20, 2023
A few things that I loved from this book: 1. It's brevity. Ashworth does a good job of covering a lot of ground in a short amount of space. I appreciate The holistic nature of her writing. 2. I appreciate the refusal for rigidity in the expression of caregiving in The church. While still insisting upon the legitimacy and the Christian call into caregiving for men and women, she was gentle about it. 3. She writes with humility and pulls from a lot of other authors in a really well written way.
All that being said, I feel like while this book scratched the surface of the Christian call of caregiving, I kept wanting Ashworth to go deeper. While I'm confident there is a deep theological view of caregiving held, I would have loved to see this further developed and further extrapolated in different stages of life in this text.
For someone just beginning to contemplate caregiving and its role in the Christian walk, this gives a lot to think on, and a lot of encouragement! For someone who has been navigating Christian caregiving for some time, it may leave them wanting. The back of the book offers several books to explore.
Still it was a good, well-written and short read.
All that being said, I feel like while this book scratched the surface of the Christian call of caregiving, I kept wanting Ashworth to go deeper. While I'm confident there is a deep theological view of caregiving held, I would have loved to see this further developed and further extrapolated in different stages of life in this text.
For someone just beginning to contemplate caregiving and its role in the Christian walk, this gives a lot to think on, and a lot of encouragement! For someone who has been navigating Christian caregiving for some time, it may leave them wanting. The back of the book offers several books to explore.
Still it was a good, well-written and short read.
September 3, 2011
Own. I would probably give this 3.5 stars if I could.
I liked the book. But, I'm not sure who its audience is. I thought she was making the case for "caregiving" being a calling greater than that of the general Christian calling, and at times I saw that as so. At other times, it seemed that anyone, Christian or no, could practice "caregiving" as she describes it. I'm not sure she made her case that it is a Christian "vocation" beyond the call all Christians have to feed, quench thirst, visit, etc. So, because I'm not sure whether I was her intended audience here (or indeed who is the audience), I have some feelings of ambivalence about the book.
I will say though, that I felt inspired at times as I read, to be more intentional in feeding, quenching, visiting, etc. To be more a part of my neighborhood. To be a vital member rather than a hanger-on.
Mrs. Ashworth's stories are generally interesting, and help pull the reader through the book as real-life examples help show the viability of this "art and work of caring."
I liked the book. But, I'm not sure who its audience is. I thought she was making the case for "caregiving" being a calling greater than that of the general Christian calling, and at times I saw that as so. At other times, it seemed that anyone, Christian or no, could practice "caregiving" as she describes it. I'm not sure she made her case that it is a Christian "vocation" beyond the call all Christians have to feed, quench thirst, visit, etc. So, because I'm not sure whether I was her intended audience here (or indeed who is the audience), I have some feelings of ambivalence about the book.
I will say though, that I felt inspired at times as I read, to be more intentional in feeding, quenching, visiting, etc. To be more a part of my neighborhood. To be a vital member rather than a hanger-on.
Mrs. Ashworth's stories are generally interesting, and help pull the reader through the book as real-life examples help show the viability of this "art and work of caring."
February 7, 2023
This book is a clear descendant from Hidden Art by Edith Schaeffer, and I love any author who takes the time to explain why the menial or overlooked parts of life are crucial to the love and worship of God. Ash worth does so wonderfully, with a particular emphasis on the physical work involved in caring for others. She has an expansive definition of that care and a beautiful vision of its place in our theology. I took many ideas away, but mostly want to remind myself daily of this from her introduction:
We cannot separate real demonstrations of care from the gospel itself. When we care for people in imaginative, life-giving ways, we embody the love of Jesus.
We cannot separate real demonstrations of care from the gospel itself. When we care for people in imaginative, life-giving ways, we embody the love of Jesus.
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June 28, 2020I have never read a book quite like this. In a world that values money, success and career achievement as a benchmark for meaningful work, the author shines a spotlight on the hidden work of caring for people in beautiful, practical, artful ways. Andi Ashworth and her husband founded Art House America, and her perspective in cultivating creativity and community is so valuable and encouraging to me personally, it will be a book I read multiple times.
December 31, 2014
I'd had this book on my shelf for quite awhile, and I'm glad I finally took time to read it. I'm in an extended season of caring for others, and Ashworth's ideas and perspective encouraged me. It's a blessing to learn from someone who's made it farther down the road and can offer wisdom, especially with her authentic tone.
May 2, 2023
I loved this book, it was so encouraging and affirming to the work of taking care of others. I love that someone is writing about this, acknowledging how hard it is but how God calls us to it and equips us in the midst of it.
November 13, 2017
I underlined half the book. Incredibly affirming for me. Andi Ashworth elucidates the value of the upaid work I love with all my heart.
July 16, 2019
As the caretaker of a seven-year-old son with spina bifida, and now an elderly aunt with dementia, I have found this book more than indispensable. Andi Ashworth's insights into the full spectrum of caregiving are as enlightening and encouraging as I could have imagined. She illustrates so many little ways that the term "caregiver" can be applied to one's life beyond parenting and caring for the elderly. A spirit of Godly hospitality, love and kindness is essential, and Andi brilliantly articulates that spirit in this book
July 6, 2024
Second read. The first time I read this book was, I think, 10 years ago (!), and the art and work of caring meant something different to me than it does now. I'm glad for the refresh of these ideas though. It's fun to re-read a book a decade later and sort of interact with your old self. Someone online said this is a book for anyone who does unseen work, which, you could argue, is some of the most important work being done. I especially liked the artful emphasis -- how caregiving is creative.
August 2, 2024
Full of encouragement and exhortation to pursue caregiving as an art and an act of worship.
“When we give artful attention to detail, we point to a truer and better reality. When we offer beauty, we touch something in the human soul. We remind others of who they are and what they were made for. We bring hope and inspiration. This is a way of caring.” How inspiring is that?
“When we give artful attention to detail, we point to a truer and better reality. When we offer beauty, we touch something in the human soul. We remind others of who they are and what they were made for. We bring hope and inspiration. This is a way of caring.” How inspiring is that?
November 30, 2024
This gives a close look at care taking, examining the many different facets of what it means to give and received care. More importantly, I believe, it serves as a reminder of the importance of the work despite what popular culture says and offers encouragement for those who find themselves knee-deep in the work.
April 19, 2025
Overall this is an excellent book that encourages the caregiver in our world that generally does not appreciate the value of providing care. I struggled with several chapters that were heavily focused on traditional male/female roles with childrearing. I was glad to press through though because it ended strongly.
August 22, 2025
A sweet, easy read with thoughtful reflections on caregiving (which can be anything from hospitality, to parenting, to caring for one's parents, to caring for other people in your sphere). Nothing too revolutionary for me, but I've also read and listened to a lot on this theme. Great reminders all throughout the book.
April 18, 2021
Such a beautiful reminder about the purpose and gift of caring for others! As a caregiver and also a chronically ill person it was a blessing to read words of encouragement and to keep my eyes upon the goal of it all - God's love to be shared and experienced to all...
December 8, 2022
Gentle reminder of why and how we care for our loved ones and neighbors. Nothing groundbreaking but a pleasant and encouraging read.
September 3, 2013
Andi Ashworth is Charlie Peacock's wife, which is a fun piece of knowledge if you know who Charlie Peacock is. I enjoyed this book for a few reasons:
1) It's unique. I've never read an entire book devoted to the topic of caregiving.
2) I'm a caregiver, so it was applicable and encouraging to me.
3) I agreed with her on a lot of things, particularly her exhortation to slow the busy lifestyle.
Here's an example of that:
"...we also normalize frantic lifestyles when we don't need to. Whether we take a job that requires a long commute, sign our children up for too many extracurricular activities, or take on more projects and commitments than we can handle, our decisions have long-range consequences that we need to consider. Even when we are the ones who made the series of choices that got us into our schedule crunch, we often feel that our schedule controls us. We yield to the pattern of continual intensity without offering any resistance. We have a growing realization that overcommitment and overwork are destructive, but in general, we don't seem to change.
And as we give in to the standards society sets for us, we gradually internalize what our culture values: efficiency, speed, control, and quantity over quality. In this paradigm, caregiving seems very much out of place. Caring does not "maximize" our time. Its richest rewards are not tangible. It's results are not quantitative. Caregiving needs are unpredictable, and sometimes meeting them is a slow process."
And another:
"When we live in light of the gospel, we view time and people from the perspective of eternity. Even the small things we do to show people they matter can make a difference. We make our offerings, not knowing if our efforts will even be noticed, but knowing that each person matters supremely to God, and he notices. We live by faith, not by sight, entrusting the outcomes to God and knowing that we're participating in his work of caring for the people he loves."
And another:
"...busyness sends out a message to people that you don't have the time for them. The state of being frantic, overextended, and distracted drives people away rather than drawing them in and inviting them to the refuge of your company. No one is comfortable coming to someone when they feel like an interruption. This fear of interrupting feeds into the isolating trend of our culture where no one wants to be a bother to anyone else.
In a world that so often values speed, efficiency, and change over continuity and relationship, we are challenged on a daily basis to consider what matters most. God invites us to resist the tangled webs of busyness that imprison us and make it impossible to respond in love to the people around us. If we want our lives to reflect the truth that people matter, we must live intentionally toward that end. If we really believe that people are important and that caring for each other is at the heart of our call to follow Jesus, we must thoughtfully and intentionally offer people something more."
1) It's unique. I've never read an entire book devoted to the topic of caregiving.
2) I'm a caregiver, so it was applicable and encouraging to me.
3) I agreed with her on a lot of things, particularly her exhortation to slow the busy lifestyle.
Here's an example of that:
"...we also normalize frantic lifestyles when we don't need to. Whether we take a job that requires a long commute, sign our children up for too many extracurricular activities, or take on more projects and commitments than we can handle, our decisions have long-range consequences that we need to consider. Even when we are the ones who made the series of choices that got us into our schedule crunch, we often feel that our schedule controls us. We yield to the pattern of continual intensity without offering any resistance. We have a growing realization that overcommitment and overwork are destructive, but in general, we don't seem to change.
And as we give in to the standards society sets for us, we gradually internalize what our culture values: efficiency, speed, control, and quantity over quality. In this paradigm, caregiving seems very much out of place. Caring does not "maximize" our time. Its richest rewards are not tangible. It's results are not quantitative. Caregiving needs are unpredictable, and sometimes meeting them is a slow process."
And another:
"When we live in light of the gospel, we view time and people from the perspective of eternity. Even the small things we do to show people they matter can make a difference. We make our offerings, not knowing if our efforts will even be noticed, but knowing that each person matters supremely to God, and he notices. We live by faith, not by sight, entrusting the outcomes to God and knowing that we're participating in his work of caring for the people he loves."
And another:
"...busyness sends out a message to people that you don't have the time for them. The state of being frantic, overextended, and distracted drives people away rather than drawing them in and inviting them to the refuge of your company. No one is comfortable coming to someone when they feel like an interruption. This fear of interrupting feeds into the isolating trend of our culture where no one wants to be a bother to anyone else.
In a world that so often values speed, efficiency, and change over continuity and relationship, we are challenged on a daily basis to consider what matters most. God invites us to resist the tangled webs of busyness that imprison us and make it impossible to respond in love to the people around us. If we want our lives to reflect the truth that people matter, we must live intentionally toward that end. If we really believe that people are important and that caring for each other is at the heart of our call to follow Jesus, we must thoughtfully and intentionally offer people something more."
November 13, 2012
Andi Ashworth beautifully addresses how authentic, artful care-giving is something we ALL can do in not only in our homes, but also in our communities. Through heartfelt personal stories, scripture, relevant quotes from great writers, she paints how few things truly impact people's lives quite like REAL Love shown in everyday acts of kindness, large and small. No matter what season of life you are in, this book offers profound inspiration and encouragement in showing that in all our care-giving endeavors, our time and energy given to others IS meaningful and of great value to our families, communities and ultimately to God. This is a MUST READ for anyone who wants to leave a legacy of Love. Real Love for Real Life resonates to the core of who I am and the person I hope to be. I am so excited to share this book with friends and loved ones--I'll probably need to buy a case of these books in preparation for Christmas! Ha!
May 27, 2008
In this book, Andi Ashworth explores the art and work of caring for others. It is a very encouraging and practical book on serving others, and is especially encouraging for those who find themselves focusing a lot of their energy and time on caring for children, older people, or others who need a lot of care. I found her insights very helpful. We had Andi come and speak for our women's retreat, and I appreciated her attention to the varied types of aristry that are involved in hospitality; not a Martha-Stuart perfection, but providing places in which people experience nurture and care. Worth reading.
February 26, 2008
As the caretaker of a seven-year-old son with spina bifida, and now an elderly aunt with dementia, I have found this book more than indispensable. Andi Ashworth's insights into the full spectrum of caregiving are as enlightening and encouraging as I could have imagined. She illustrates so many little ways that the term "caregiver" can be applied to one's life beyond parenting and caring for the elderly. A spirit of Godly hospitality, love and kindness is essential, and Andi brilliantly articulates that spirit in this book.
June 11, 2013
This was an easy read that I picked up over the course of several months. Basic Biblical discussion about the act of caring for others as a vocation. I really liked it. Would probably have given it 3.5 stars as most of what is said is not a news flash but I appreciate the subject matter and her easy writing style.
May 17, 2013
This was practical and affirming that many of the forms of caring that I am drawn to are valid and worthwhile. This isn't the book to persuade someone to see the necessity of caring, but very helpful and encouraging for those who already are practicing this art and work.
October 23, 2016
This book is full of practical tips, wrapped in beautiful, personal stories. I love how she resists the culture in redefining the idea of caregiving. My only complaint is it is sometimes slightly redundant.
December 1, 2018
I really loved this book and wish I had found it 10 years ago! Andi is so honest + inspiring. No heady idealism here. This will renew your love and vision to care for your people well, recognize seasons of caregiving, and “permission” to take care of yourself and know your limits. Excellent!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews