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Does Anyone Else Feel This Way?: Essays on Conquering the Quarter-Life Crisis
From TikTok star and the author of I Didn’t Know I Needed This Eli Rallo, a reflection on the anxiety of transitioning into adulthood, navigating the quarter-life crisis, and realizing you’re actually not alone.
Does anyone else feel like they’re the only one having a quarter-life crisis? As a senior in college, Eli Rallo expected her post-grad years to be filled with certainty, that she would finally feel that she was the “adult” she had long dreamed she’d be, with a cool job, an amazing apartment, fabulous friends, and lots of fun and flirty date nights. Instead she was met with crippling social anxiety, no idea what direction her career was taking, an inability to stop comparing herself to her peers’ picture-perfect lives on social media, and a looming sense that she may never feel certain—about her dating life, friendships, career, or even herself.
With deep honesty, raw emotions, humor, and relatability, Eli analyzes life in your twenties with a candid and heartfelt approach, asking and answering questions
How do you manage losing a best friend? How do you know who you are or what you want to do with your life? How do you find time and space for all of your priorities? How do you navigate the choppy waters of the social media world, and not fall victim to the comparison game?What happens when the timeline you made for yourself as a child is long in your past?How do you know you’re making the right decisions? Even though early adulthood doesn’t look just like Sex and the City or Thirteen Going on Thirty the way Eli thought it would, with Does Anyone Else Feel This Way? Eli shows you that you’re not the only one who misses the days when they could swing by the dining hall or just wants to call their mom to make it all go away. With a look at her own misadventures and hard-won life lessons, Eli shares the journey she’s been on to find herself as an adult, and the twists and turns she’s taken while navigating her own quarter-life crisis.
Does anyone else feel like they’re the only one having a quarter-life crisis? As a senior in college, Eli Rallo expected her post-grad years to be filled with certainty, that she would finally feel that she was the “adult” she had long dreamed she’d be, with a cool job, an amazing apartment, fabulous friends, and lots of fun and flirty date nights. Instead she was met with crippling social anxiety, no idea what direction her career was taking, an inability to stop comparing herself to her peers’ picture-perfect lives on social media, and a looming sense that she may never feel certain—about her dating life, friendships, career, or even herself.
With deep honesty, raw emotions, humor, and relatability, Eli analyzes life in your twenties with a candid and heartfelt approach, asking and answering questions
How do you manage losing a best friend? How do you know who you are or what you want to do with your life? How do you find time and space for all of your priorities? How do you navigate the choppy waters of the social media world, and not fall victim to the comparison game?What happens when the timeline you made for yourself as a child is long in your past?How do you know you’re making the right decisions? Even though early adulthood doesn’t look just like Sex and the City or Thirteen Going on Thirty the way Eli thought it would, with Does Anyone Else Feel This Way? Eli shows you that you’re not the only one who misses the days when they could swing by the dining hall or just wants to call their mom to make it all go away. With a look at her own misadventures and hard-won life lessons, Eli shares the journey she’s been on to find herself as an adult, and the twists and turns she’s taken while navigating her own quarter-life crisis.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published October 14, 2025
665 people are currently reading
6969 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 246 reviews
June 4, 2025
I think that Eli’s writing is beautiful and interesting. You can definitely tell that she has grown a lot as an author from her previous book, and I applaud her for that!
The way that she wrote memories and feelings and states of being as a mid/ twenties girl was relatable and satisfying, I identified with so many emotions she described and different experiences she wrote about.
This book sort of felt like a more wordy and less experience/ story telling version of “everything I know about love” by dolly alderton.
However, I have a few critiques of this book that made me deduct three stars.
1. All of this material could have been captured in a 3 page essay. I’m not really sure why this became a novel. Eli has a few anecdotes and philosophies she holds about growing older and adult experiences, and she makes these few things last for 230 pages. It just feels very monotonous and extra. It was definitely too long for the amount of content it contained.
2. There’s really no advice. I’m pretty sure this is marketed as an advice-ish book, but there is no advice to be given. There’s loose metaphorical phrases where she talks about why she didn’t choose a “boring desk job” but took the leap and got a creative job (content creator). There really is no advice, and if there were, she wouldn’t exactly be qualified to give it, as she is a mid twenties woman herself who hasn’t had to overcome any obstacles or hardships.
3. It reads pretty out of touch at times. There’s an entire chapter about how her friends and everyone think she is so brave because she chose to grind for a “creative job” and she didn’t settle for a “boring desk job” like them. She advises people who are interesting and passionate like her to not settle for something ordinary like working in insurance or whatever. To me this was kind of offensive, because of course all of us would love to work as influencers like her, but that’s not the reality for the vast majority of people who will read this book. All of the pseudo-advice she gave just came off in a bad way to me.
I appreciated the writing in this book, but didn’t find it helpful or very interesting beyond the first few pages. I think some people who really enjoy reading about the lives and stories of people who have lavish lives might enjoy this?
Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review!
The way that she wrote memories and feelings and states of being as a mid/ twenties girl was relatable and satisfying, I identified with so many emotions she described and different experiences she wrote about.
This book sort of felt like a more wordy and less experience/ story telling version of “everything I know about love” by dolly alderton.
However, I have a few critiques of this book that made me deduct three stars.
1. All of this material could have been captured in a 3 page essay. I’m not really sure why this became a novel. Eli has a few anecdotes and philosophies she holds about growing older and adult experiences, and she makes these few things last for 230 pages. It just feels very monotonous and extra. It was definitely too long for the amount of content it contained.
2. There’s really no advice. I’m pretty sure this is marketed as an advice-ish book, but there is no advice to be given. There’s loose metaphorical phrases where she talks about why she didn’t choose a “boring desk job” but took the leap and got a creative job (content creator). There really is no advice, and if there were, she wouldn’t exactly be qualified to give it, as she is a mid twenties woman herself who hasn’t had to overcome any obstacles or hardships.
3. It reads pretty out of touch at times. There’s an entire chapter about how her friends and everyone think she is so brave because she chose to grind for a “creative job” and she didn’t settle for a “boring desk job” like them. She advises people who are interesting and passionate like her to not settle for something ordinary like working in insurance or whatever. To me this was kind of offensive, because of course all of us would love to work as influencers like her, but that’s not the reality for the vast majority of people who will read this book. All of the pseudo-advice she gave just came off in a bad way to me.
I appreciated the writing in this book, but didn’t find it helpful or very interesting beyond the first few pages. I think some people who really enjoy reading about the lives and stories of people who have lavish lives might enjoy this?
Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for sending me this ARC in exchange for an honest review!
May 28, 2025
This book felt like a pep talk from an older sister. I read every bit in Eli’s voice. It is such a concise sliver of a mid-20s female brain and is extremely validating. Will think on this book, and carry it with me for a while.
September 25, 2025
Eli has a way of making women in their 20s feel seen. I always enjoy her Carrie Bradshaw-esque writing, and I would say I enjoyed this one more than her first book. The points she touches on are so important in showing people nearing their quarter life crisis they are understood. Loved this one.
October 11, 2025
as someone who just turned 25 i needed this and it came at the perfect time. i adored eli’s first book and was so excited when she announced her next book.
this one was written so well and so gen z (in the best way possible) i could relate to almost every chapter is an actually concerning and scary way. the 20s are such an interesting decade and i feel like i took a lot from this and felt so seen
this one was written so well and so gen z (in the best way possible) i could relate to almost every chapter is an actually concerning and scary way. the 20s are such an interesting decade and i feel like i took a lot from this and felt so seen
September 15, 2025
I loved Eli Rallo's first book so much, and I think I loved this one more. The questions she asked for each chapter were so relatable, and as someone unemployed currently, many of her experiences resonated with me. The writing sounded like Rallo was speaking to a friend, and her advice was tangible and realistic. I also enjoyed the mix of her own life experiences with notes of general wisdom. This book also gave me more insight into Rallo and her journey, which I liked. Overall, I felt like I read this at the perfect time. Thank you to William Morrow for providing me with an e-ARC to read and review!
October 27, 2025
I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher for promotional purposes.
This book had a great premise, but the execution was lackluster.
I will say the book is relatable. As a 30 year old who survived my 20s, I did relate to some of the feelings and experiences the author wrote about. There was a quote on page 47 about the transition between childhood and adulthood that hit hard for me. In another essay she reflects on mothers and writes, “You will wake up and realize your mom was also just a girl once, who had a whole life of wanting and living before she made you. You will see her for her flaws, and you will see her for her fears” (pg. 81). I found that to be really poignant.
My main issue with this book is that the essays are way too long. They could have easily been trimmed down to half their length. They seem to ramble on without much of a focus. The author has a tendency to over explain everything which makes it feel like she is trying to meet an invisible word count. For example, on pg. 132, almost the entire page is variations of “I need you to…” I get what she was trying to illustrate, but it became excessive. The essays really needed an editing eye.
Additionally, some of the essays were very similar. One topic that was repeated throughout was friendship and growing apart. The same points kept getting reiterated.
The essays were also primarily filled with affirmations and platitudes which made them uninteresting. The most compelling essay was the one about her health struggles because that essay contained more about her life, rather than general statements.
By the end of the book, I never felt like I knew who the author really was. Her personality did not shine through and instead the whole thing felt generic.
Overall, the author has a lot of potential but this book did not work for me. If you are a fan of her and/or her TikToks, this may resonate better with you.
This book had a great premise, but the execution was lackluster.
I will say the book is relatable. As a 30 year old who survived my 20s, I did relate to some of the feelings and experiences the author wrote about. There was a quote on page 47 about the transition between childhood and adulthood that hit hard for me. In another essay she reflects on mothers and writes, “You will wake up and realize your mom was also just a girl once, who had a whole life of wanting and living before she made you. You will see her for her flaws, and you will see her for her fears” (pg. 81). I found that to be really poignant.
My main issue with this book is that the essays are way too long. They could have easily been trimmed down to half their length. They seem to ramble on without much of a focus. The author has a tendency to over explain everything which makes it feel like she is trying to meet an invisible word count. For example, on pg. 132, almost the entire page is variations of “I need you to…” I get what she was trying to illustrate, but it became excessive. The essays really needed an editing eye.
Additionally, some of the essays were very similar. One topic that was repeated throughout was friendship and growing apart. The same points kept getting reiterated.
The essays were also primarily filled with affirmations and platitudes which made them uninteresting. The most compelling essay was the one about her health struggles because that essay contained more about her life, rather than general statements.
By the end of the book, I never felt like I knew who the author really was. Her personality did not shine through and instead the whole thing felt generic.
Overall, the author has a lot of potential but this book did not work for me. If you are a fan of her and/or her TikToks, this may resonate better with you.
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September 2, 2025not going to rate this one as it’s personal essays documenting her life, but what I will say is that I’ve followed Eli on social media for years now and her voice is STRONG. reading this, you can almost hear her narrating in your head. for this reason, I think it would make an awesome audiobook but was a little disjointed and repetitive to read a physical copy.
also worth noting that I think I’m in a life stage just a little past the target audience of this book but i still found some nuggets of wisdom and relatability as i was reading. at times i found the essays a little too full of cliches and word salad, almost like she’s trying too hard to make a profound point, but i think young women will really identify and find something about themselves in her story as they read.
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an arc in exchange for an honest review! out 10/14/25.
also worth noting that I think I’m in a life stage just a little past the target audience of this book but i still found some nuggets of wisdom and relatability as i was reading. at times i found the essays a little too full of cliches and word salad, almost like she’s trying too hard to make a profound point, but i think young women will really identify and find something about themselves in her story as they read.
thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an arc in exchange for an honest review! out 10/14/25.
July 13, 2025
*well-written, easy to read
*very informative with realistic scenarios that many in their twenties experience
*belongs on the bookshelves of all college age adults
*highly recommend
*very informative with realistic scenarios that many in their twenties experience
*belongs on the bookshelves of all college age adults
*highly recommend
October 15, 2025
Well I have to be an informed hater and read the book of the girl that speaks as The Authority and is plastered across all of my social suggested feeds. I will give it a bonus star like in Mario party 8 handicap settings for being much improved from her last book but it is still exhausting and repetitive and convoluted… maybe most self help / advice books are idk haven’t read any others im quite okay with being terrible. The writing is like when you give a Type A girl adderall on accident. I’m scared of anyone that’s thinking too much about other people’s engagement posts on Instagram to the point it becomes chapter in book but that’s cool she’s making a career off of that
June 16, 2025
Thank you SO much to NetGalley and Eli for this ARC copy!
Stay with me when I say this, but this book made me uncomfortable, the kind of uncomfortable that comes with getting older and bearing the weight of responsibility and keen awareness that comes with a developed frontal lobe. I'm 2 years older than Eli and the introduction chapter sent me back to a time when I truly struggled with where I was at in my life professionally and romantically. A couple of relatable tears were shed reading this book, and Eli truly makes you feel like you've known her your whole life when you read her books. I was able to relate more to DAEFTW than her earlier published book, and the opportunity to read it early came to be at a perfect time in my life. I absolutely DO feel this way, actually.
Stay with me when I say this, but this book made me uncomfortable, the kind of uncomfortable that comes with getting older and bearing the weight of responsibility and keen awareness that comes with a developed frontal lobe. I'm 2 years older than Eli and the introduction chapter sent me back to a time when I truly struggled with where I was at in my life professionally and romantically. A couple of relatable tears were shed reading this book, and Eli truly makes you feel like you've known her your whole life when you read her books. I was able to relate more to DAEFTW than her earlier published book, and the opportunity to read it early came to be at a perfect time in my life. I absolutely DO feel this way, actually.
November 19, 2025
this book felt like a warm hug, & every chapter was relatable in some way. she touches on so many things that we all experience but never talk about, instead just struggle through, and while no one has the answers it’s nice to feel not alone in the feelings
we are the keys to our happiness & the lives we want to live!
we are the keys to our happiness & the lives we want to live!
November 1, 2025
got me out of my reading slump
October 16, 2025
she loves the phrase "in tandem."
in all seriousness, i needed this. i felt so seen. i recommended this book to a friend before i even finished it.
in all seriousness, i needed this. i felt so seen. i recommended this book to a friend before i even finished it.
October 20, 2025
I love Eli’s TikToks but her writing comes across as extremely out of touch
June 30, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and this publishers for this ARC.
Eli and I are the same age, and I first knew of her through TikTok. At times, reading her thoughts felt like hearing my own. There isn’t enough discussion about how hard it is to be in your mid-twenties today, so her book offers value in that regard. That said, our lives are quite different, so her personal stories didn’t always resonate with me. Still, her reflections on friendship, womanhood, post-grad life, imposter syndrome, and nostalgia were relatable. I do think the book could’ve used more editing—some essays dragged or became repetitive.
Eli and I are the same age, and I first knew of her through TikTok. At times, reading her thoughts felt like hearing my own. There isn’t enough discussion about how hard it is to be in your mid-twenties today, so her book offers value in that regard. That said, our lives are quite different, so her personal stories didn’t always resonate with me. Still, her reflections on friendship, womanhood, post-grad life, imposter syndrome, and nostalgia were relatable. I do think the book could’ve used more editing—some essays dragged or became repetitive.
November 4, 2025
This should be required reading for all 25-30 year olds. Eli is so talented at putting feelings that I didn't even know could be expressed into words.
I would highly encourage you to listed to this as Eli reads it and she is so well spoken.
I think that this book explores the concept of adult female friendship in a way that is rarely discussed. Eli explores how friendships ebb and flow in a way that is similar to but distinct from romantic relationships. How living your authentic life may cause you to drift away from people you thought would always be there but that doesn't mean that your friendship means any less or you will never be close again - things just change.
In her first book (I didn't know I needed this) and in her content that she posts across all social media platforms, Eli stresses the importance on female friendships. I was interested to see how / if her emphasis on female friendships had shifted now that she got engaged and has been in a long term relationship. I was happy to hear that she prioritizes female friendships, maybe even more than she did before. I aspire to be as good of a friend as Eli; to be as vocal about my love and as dedicated to my friendships as she is. I love the way she talks about her friends even those she is no longer close to.
I thought it was an excellent choice for her to introduce us to her friends almost as characters. We got to know each of her friends from the childhood one she doesn't speak to, to college, and beyond. It was refreshing and inspiring to hear about all her close friendships that she has made post grad. She talks about how hard it is to make friends post grad because your life is not centered around making friends anymore. You are not on the same schedule as a bunch of people your age or even living close to others that share common interests. She discusses the different ways you can bond with people and make friends post grad.
I really love Eli and I really loved this book. Even if you don't know who Eli is, pick up this book. She is really special and I am glad that I have someone like her to look up to as I navigate my 20s. 5/5 no notes.
I would highly encourage you to listed to this as Eli reads it and she is so well spoken.
I think that this book explores the concept of adult female friendship in a way that is rarely discussed. Eli explores how friendships ebb and flow in a way that is similar to but distinct from romantic relationships. How living your authentic life may cause you to drift away from people you thought would always be there but that doesn't mean that your friendship means any less or you will never be close again - things just change.
In her first book (I didn't know I needed this) and in her content that she posts across all social media platforms, Eli stresses the importance on female friendships. I was interested to see how / if her emphasis on female friendships had shifted now that she got engaged and has been in a long term relationship. I was happy to hear that she prioritizes female friendships, maybe even more than she did before. I aspire to be as good of a friend as Eli; to be as vocal about my love and as dedicated to my friendships as she is. I love the way she talks about her friends even those she is no longer close to.
I thought it was an excellent choice for her to introduce us to her friends almost as characters. We got to know each of her friends from the childhood one she doesn't speak to, to college, and beyond. It was refreshing and inspiring to hear about all her close friendships that she has made post grad. She talks about how hard it is to make friends post grad because your life is not centered around making friends anymore. You are not on the same schedule as a bunch of people your age or even living close to others that share common interests. She discusses the different ways you can bond with people and make friends post grad.
I really love Eli and I really loved this book. Even if you don't know who Eli is, pick up this book. She is really special and I am glad that I have someone like her to look up to as I navigate my 20s. 5/5 no notes.
October 14, 2025
I love Eli & knew I would love her new book💜🎂🍰 I think this book of hers in particular really hit home for me since I’m 25 and having that quarter life crisis feeling myself. I could relate to her a lot here. Also I’m not sure if it’s me being 20 weeks pregnant or what but I cried and cried sentimental and happy tears. Can’t wait for her next book!!
October 16, 2025
As an almost 60 year old I could relate to every essay/chapter. Very well written - Eli has grown as an author since her first book which I also rated 5 stars. Can’t wait to see her fiction book next year!
November 14, 2025
It’s funny to read this because I remember feeling so many of the things Eli talks about in this book right after I graduated and moved to Chicago, that I wish I had this book back then. Now that my frontal lobe is a bit more developed, I didn’t relate currently as much but it was still lovely to read and feel not alone, with some realistic mindset shifts that I can still make, and I’m working on doing. Love my girl Eli and loved this book, although it could have been a bit condensed
October 13, 2025
It’s hard to explain exactly why I enjoyed this book, but here’s me trying:
Rallo does such a phenomenal job explaining the feelings of being a twenty something year old woman. I never read the first book so I’m not sure how these personal anecdotes compare to IDKINT; but I really enjoyed seeing her just explain her feelings and thoughts through how they came to her. It was giving me similar vibes to Dolly Alterton’s “everything I know about love” where friendship is brought up over and over again.
Definitely am planning on reading more from this author.
Thank you NetGalley for the arc!
Rallo does such a phenomenal job explaining the feelings of being a twenty something year old woman. I never read the first book so I’m not sure how these personal anecdotes compare to IDKINT; but I really enjoyed seeing her just explain her feelings and thoughts through how they came to her. It was giving me similar vibes to Dolly Alterton’s “everything I know about love” where friendship is brought up over and over again.
Definitely am planning on reading more from this author.
Thank you NetGalley for the arc!
October 31, 2025
I ate this up!!! Begging anyone in their twenties to read this book. Beautiful insight wrapped in beautiful writing.
November 10, 2025
girl this was so dumb. the whole book was just her regurgitating versions of “I’m not like other girls. I’m misunderstood ” then being like “being an adult is hard! & I didn’t know who I was at 22!” not a single original thought I swear she just looked up “inspiring quotes” and rewrote them for a bunch of chapters.
November 6, 2025
Unfortunately a right place right time book for me. Being in your mid twenties really be like this and it’s comforting to have a little book of essays to remind you that you are not singular in the wackiest feelings ever. I can feel a significant improvement in Eli’s written skills that were showing a bit in her last book and it’s exciting to see such clear growth. I’m excited to see her fiction next. I also stand firm in my conviction that Eli Rallo and I could be friends, take that as you will.
(Also the pseudonym choices hit insanely close)
(Also the pseudonym choices hit insanely close)
October 12, 2025
I received an advanced copy of this book and was excited to see what Rallo had come up with since her debut. Reading her first book, I enjoyed parts of it and saw potential in her writing style. I admired her tenacity to go after her writing dreams, even if she didn’t have total buy-in for her credibility to give advice. Gotta start somewhere, right?
This book fell short of my expectations. The concept itself is great, very topical, and relevant to her current audiences. Unfortunately, the execution was a bit sloppy, unfocused, and repetitive. Rallo told personal stories to use as outside advice (true to her style), but in many of them, failed to make the advice concrete enough to make sense. It was very wishy-washy, ‘you need to be doing this, unless your life is different, then do your own thing’ kinda phrasing. Every chapter seemed to be this same structure without much difference in details. I felt the whole book could have been condensed into less than half the size and still would’ve had the same impact.
There were a few pieces of this book I enjoyed, and felt were relevant to my own “Quarter-Life Crisis” thinking. I could relate to her rambling and uncertainty and felt understood that I was not alone. But, I could have gotten most of that from just the title.
Rallo has a uniqueness to her writing style that makes me want to enjoy her work more than I do. I still see the potential I did after reading her debut, though I’m curious how many more books it may take to hone her style into something more concrete. I don’t see myself recommending her books to many people, but I may still pick up her future work to give it a try.
This book fell short of my expectations. The concept itself is great, very topical, and relevant to her current audiences. Unfortunately, the execution was a bit sloppy, unfocused, and repetitive. Rallo told personal stories to use as outside advice (true to her style), but in many of them, failed to make the advice concrete enough to make sense. It was very wishy-washy, ‘you need to be doing this, unless your life is different, then do your own thing’ kinda phrasing. Every chapter seemed to be this same structure without much difference in details. I felt the whole book could have been condensed into less than half the size and still would’ve had the same impact.
There were a few pieces of this book I enjoyed, and felt were relevant to my own “Quarter-Life Crisis” thinking. I could relate to her rambling and uncertainty and felt understood that I was not alone. But, I could have gotten most of that from just the title.
Rallo has a uniqueness to her writing style that makes me want to enjoy her work more than I do. I still see the potential I did after reading her debut, though I’m curious how many more books it may take to hone her style into something more concrete. I don’t see myself recommending her books to many people, but I may still pick up her future work to give it a try.
October 16, 2025
I will say it once and I will say it forever… Eli Rallo is an extension of all of us. She writes so eloquently about the thoughts we never say out loud and every book of hers feels like a warm hug. This book is my new favorite collection of personal essays!! The growth she has done from her first book to this one is extraordinary and I can’t wait to DEVOUR her next :))
October 18, 2025
”It is an ache to break a promise you made with the you that you were at the age of thirteen.”
Followed by: ”I just wanted to give her the world she craved. I hope she will forgive me when I do not.”
Okay. Now I’ve stopped crying. Let’s begin.
This might sound a bit rude given that the first essay focuses on Rallo’s drive to be a creative (specifically a writer) but I just don’t think the writing is very good. Well, that’s not entirely fair; it’s more that it’s not for me, which is fine. Not everything has to be. But a lot of the passages come across as a bit try hard, almost like faux wit. (This did get less jarring, so I think I grew to adapt to her style.)
I think a lot of nonfiction writers do this thing where, because they’re not really saying anything new or profound (ideas like “uncertainty isn’t failure” or “rejection just means something better is waiting” or “life isn’t a race” ) they end up over analysing the concept and using endless metaphors and analogies to make one same redundant point. That was probably my biggest gripe here. There are definitely fun, interesting, and relatable ideas throughout, but the essays start to feel repetitive. Entire sentences get repeated in different essays. Rallo often circles back to the same themes, just dressed up in slightly different, flowery language. In doing so, it loses a bit of its emotional punch and ends up feeling overworked.
I wouldn’t say any of the advice is particularly helpful either (this is entirely subjective — if it works for you, slay!). It’s a lot of that familiar “follow your dreams, listen to yourself not others, you dictate your life, forget expectations” rhetoric. Nothing new, and honestly, as I always say, it feels completely out of touch. If everyone had the privilege to “forget the rules, live, laugh, love, never settle,” we wouldn’t even be asking the kinds of questions each essay poses. You know? I sort of expected this going in, because Eli Rallo is clearly past the point of the struggles she’s reflecting on. She can look back on those moments because she’s now secure, whereas many readers are still living through them. So inevitably, it comes across a bit patronising. The fact that she was able to go back home during the pandemic and build a platform on TikTok, which ultimately launched her career, is a form of unchecked privilege. She does try to acknowledge that her circumstances are unique, but I actually think that’s exactly why she isn’t the best person to be giving this kind of advice. She was able to get out of that rut (funk) largely because of luck.
Despite all that, I think if you strip away the reflective or “advicey” parts of the book (I’m crying because the title is literally ‘Conquering the Quarter-Life Crisis’ 😭), the ideas it plays with are actually quite interesting. The emotions it taps into with each question in the beginning will likely resonate with a lot of women in their twenties. And there’s definitely a couple good quotes. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m twenty one and still a bit lost myself (still haven’t quite snapped into adulthood, I’y shy of twenty two lol) but I just didn’t connect with the reflective elements. I don’t think the advice given will help me inspire change. Maybe I need to revisit in a few years when I’ve got things a bit more figured out.
Just kind of an okay, decent collection of essays.
General Notes I Made:
The essay about the quarter-life crisis specifically, and how Rallo refers to her thirteen year old self as a separate entity looking down, judging, observing her present self, almost made me cry. It was truly beautiful, and by far my favorite essay.
Followed by: ”I just wanted to give her the world she craved. I hope she will forgive me when I do not.”
Okay. Now I’ve stopped crying. Let’s begin.
This might sound a bit rude given that the first essay focuses on Rallo’s drive to be a creative (specifically a writer) but I just don’t think the writing is very good. Well, that’s not entirely fair; it’s more that it’s not for me, which is fine. Not everything has to be. But a lot of the passages come across as a bit try hard, almost like faux wit. (This did get less jarring, so I think I grew to adapt to her style.)
I think a lot of nonfiction writers do this thing where, because they’re not really saying anything new or profound (ideas like “uncertainty isn’t failure” or “rejection just means something better is waiting” or “life isn’t a race” ) they end up over analysing the concept and using endless metaphors and analogies to make one same redundant point. That was probably my biggest gripe here. There are definitely fun, interesting, and relatable ideas throughout, but the essays start to feel repetitive. Entire sentences get repeated in different essays. Rallo often circles back to the same themes, just dressed up in slightly different, flowery language. In doing so, it loses a bit of its emotional punch and ends up feeling overworked.
I wouldn’t say any of the advice is particularly helpful either (this is entirely subjective — if it works for you, slay!). It’s a lot of that familiar “follow your dreams, listen to yourself not others, you dictate your life, forget expectations” rhetoric. Nothing new, and honestly, as I always say, it feels completely out of touch. If everyone had the privilege to “forget the rules, live, laugh, love, never settle,” we wouldn’t even be asking the kinds of questions each essay poses. You know? I sort of expected this going in, because Eli Rallo is clearly past the point of the struggles she’s reflecting on. She can look back on those moments because she’s now secure, whereas many readers are still living through them. So inevitably, it comes across a bit patronising. The fact that she was able to go back home during the pandemic and build a platform on TikTok, which ultimately launched her career, is a form of unchecked privilege. She does try to acknowledge that her circumstances are unique, but I actually think that’s exactly why she isn’t the best person to be giving this kind of advice. She was able to get out of that rut (funk) largely because of luck.
Despite all that, I think if you strip away the reflective or “advicey” parts of the book (I’m crying because the title is literally ‘Conquering the Quarter-Life Crisis’ 😭), the ideas it plays with are actually quite interesting. The emotions it taps into with each question in the beginning will likely resonate with a lot of women in their twenties. And there’s definitely a couple good quotes. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m twenty one and still a bit lost myself (still haven’t quite snapped into adulthood, I’y shy of twenty two lol) but I just didn’t connect with the reflective elements. I don’t think the advice given will help me inspire change. Maybe I need to revisit in a few years when I’ve got things a bit more figured out.
Just kind of an okay, decent collection of essays.
General Notes I Made:
The essay about the quarter-life crisis specifically, and how Rallo refers to her thirteen year old self as a separate entity looking down, judging, observing her present self, almost made me cry. It was truly beautiful, and by far my favorite essay.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 30, 2025
I always feel a little emotional after reading these types of books! I think it’s because it reminds me of the life I have and all the anxieties and joys that cascade throughout the in between. Eli has a really beautiful potency and honesty to her words that makes me want to sit down with a glass of wine and rant about life with her.
One of my favourite quotes:
“Nobody will remember most of us, and that’s okay. The whole point is to love and be loved, to be your own and to give yourself to a world that will only ever know one of you.” pg. 283
Does anybody else feel this way?
Yes. In every cathartic way possible.
One of my favourite quotes:
“Nobody will remember most of us, and that’s okay. The whole point is to love and be loved, to be your own and to give yourself to a world that will only ever know one of you.” pg. 283
Does anybody else feel this way?
Yes. In every cathartic way possible.
November 12, 2025
DNF at 58%. I should say that I decided to read this book in the hopes to form a solid opinion on the author. I get her videos often and I have never been able to decide how I feel about her. Some times I enjoy and agree with her takes and sometimes I find her to be annoying in the way she talks at and even down to the audience with such a high horse authority. So when I saw her sophomore novel show up available on Libby I decided to give it a go.
All that being said I absolutely hated this book. For a book in which the entire premise is to be relatable, this was so insanely out of touch. I wanted to DNF at the 10% mark but kept pushing through hoping maybe I would find the next essay tolerable or at least interesting. I didn’t.
Forced prose regurgitating the chronically online mid 20s experience would be my one sentence summary.
I gave this book more than my due diligence in an attempt to be fair and really give it a chance but it was absolutely not for me. Maybe MAYBE this could be useful for a new in the world adult (20-22) but even then it is derivative.
I now am certain that enough followers will earn you a book deal regardless of the quality of content.
All that being said I absolutely hated this book. For a book in which the entire premise is to be relatable, this was so insanely out of touch. I wanted to DNF at the 10% mark but kept pushing through hoping maybe I would find the next essay tolerable or at least interesting. I didn’t.
Forced prose regurgitating the chronically online mid 20s experience would be my one sentence summary.
I gave this book more than my due diligence in an attempt to be fair and really give it a chance but it was absolutely not for me. Maybe MAYBE this could be useful for a new in the world adult (20-22) but even then it is derivative.
I now am certain that enough followers will earn you a book deal regardless of the quality of content.
October 15, 2025
Some of her essays were really similar to things I’ve experienced so I liked this a lot.
October 26, 2025
This book was sweet and Eli’s writing has clearly improved a lot! However, my biggest issue with it is the fact that it is not an advice book, but it is advertised as such. DAEFTW is a wealthy person ruminating on concepts like „uncertainty in your 20s“ and „I want to be a creative and not work in an office“, all of which are not actual hardships Eli has overcome, but concepts she writes about. I’m sure Eli has the best of intentions (because I know and enjoy her content on social media), but most of her writing comes across as condescending and out of touch. In addition, DAEFTW constantly borrows — let’s call it borrowing — ideas and phrases from other authors and creators that most people who have paid any attention have heard about. Just to give on example: „You could be the most fresh, lush fruit to ever grow in the whole wide world, and there will still always be people who don’t like fruit.“ Why not quote Dita van Teese if you decide to just replace a couple of words? Everyone and their grandmother has heard of the original quote. I just don’t understand why someone who prides herself on her writing would do anything but put more effort into this craft.
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