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Darryl
Darryl Cook is a man who seems to have everything: a quiet home in Western Oregon, a beautiful wife, and a lot of friends to fuck her while he watches. But as he explores the cuckolding lifestyle, he finds himself tugging at threads that threaten to unravel his marriage, his town, and himself.
With empathy and humor, debut author Jackie Ess crafts a kaleidoscopic meditation on marriage, manhood, dreams, basketball, sobriety, and the secret lives of Oregonians.
With empathy and humor, debut author Jackie Ess crafts a kaleidoscopic meditation on marriage, manhood, dreams, basketball, sobriety, and the secret lives of Oregonians.
184 pages, Paperback
First published May 18, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 401 reviews
June 18, 2021
Prepare to be cucked. Jackie Ess' debut novel is a dark comedy about its eponymous protagonist, Darryl — a simple trust funder who wants nothing more than to watch alpha men fuck his beautiful but distant wife. Unfortunately for Darryl, he has become anxiously self-aware and increasingly questions who he is, why he does what he does, and what his future might look like when cuckolding loses its sheen.
Darryl is as unprepared for introspection as he is to discover that not everyone in the fetish scene he immerses himself within is who they seem. Torn between his love for the good-hearted bull Bill, and the increasing menace of sociopath Clive, Darryl considers a possible trans exit to his problems. It appears that Ess subtly hints that this novel is set within the same universe as Dennis Cooper's phenomenal The Sluts, as secrets connecting Bill and Clive emerge.
Darryl is wild and bleak. Ess' writing remains sharp and incisive without ever letting the mask of its lovable buffoon slip too far.
Darryl is as unprepared for introspection as he is to discover that not everyone in the fetish scene he immerses himself within is who they seem. Torn between his love for the good-hearted bull Bill, and the increasing menace of sociopath Clive, Darryl considers a possible trans exit to his problems. It appears that Ess subtly hints that this novel is set within the same universe as Dennis Cooper's phenomenal The Sluts, as secrets connecting Bill and Clive emerge.
Darryl is wild and bleak. Ess' writing remains sharp and incisive without ever letting the mask of its lovable buffoon slip too far.
August 22, 2022
This is one where my expectations were perhaps a bit too high. Darryl is the first novel from Jackie Ess, a co-founder of the Bay Area Trans Writers Workshop. The premise is intriguing - an exploration of a nominally straight man's sexuality, primarily through his cuckolding fetish. Cuckolding is the starting point, which branches off into meditations on various queer identities and experiences. This is prime territory for contemporary fiction to probe but, unfortunately, passed me by a bit. Perhaps my biggest quibble is centering the story with a middle class man who has suppressed exploration of his sexual identity until middle age. That really is not the type of person whose journey I care about. There's a lot of potential here but it just didn't work for me.
December 21, 2021
“Maybe every guy like me just needs a best friend with a big cock.”
Darryl is the first novel from writer and poet Jackie Ess. It’s told from the perspective of the titular character, a man in his 40s living off his inheritance in Eugene, Oregon. It’s structured through a series of entries in his journals, daily vignettes that are at first withholding, before slowly unraveling into the truth of his existence. One thing Darryl lets us know right away, however, is that he is a part of the cuckolding lifestyle, and likes to watch men come over to his house and fuck his wife, Mindy.
When we first meet Darryl, he’s in a rough spot, ordering so much GHB online that he finds himself in the hospital. When he gets out, he starts going to couple’s therapy with his wife. Darryl starts to rely more and more on his best friend, Bill, and a trans woman he meets on a road trip to Vegas named Oothoon. He dips his toes in the local polyamory and BDSM communities, only to learn the therapist, Clive, is not a licensed practitioner, but a con man with a wicked and disturbing past.
Reading the first half of this book was a strange and occasionally off-putting experience. Darryl seems so nondescript and amoral that you are more freaked out by his blase approach to life than by his fetishes. Yet, the text is so deceptively simple and the narrator so genuinely weird that you keep reading Darryl’s diary, trying to figure out the truth of what he will not tell you.
And then, in the second half of the book, you figure out what the story is actually about. I won’t spoil it, but realizing the reality of who Darryl is as a character was one of the most mind-bending and rewarding reading experiences I’ve had in a long time. This book has so much to say about fetishes and “otherness,” namely which mainstream sexual rights are fought for and which are derided and shoved to the side as sick and perverse jokes. This book is smart as hell!
This was truly an absolutely wild ride from beginning to end and one of the most original novels I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. If you enjoy books where nothing is as it seems on the surface with downright Steinbeck-style endings, you must give this a read! It’s available now as a pre-order when you order directly from the publisher Clash Books, but is being released generally in May.
Please note: I was provided a digital ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. Thank you, Jackie!
Darryl is the first novel from writer and poet Jackie Ess. It’s told from the perspective of the titular character, a man in his 40s living off his inheritance in Eugene, Oregon. It’s structured through a series of entries in his journals, daily vignettes that are at first withholding, before slowly unraveling into the truth of his existence. One thing Darryl lets us know right away, however, is that he is a part of the cuckolding lifestyle, and likes to watch men come over to his house and fuck his wife, Mindy.
When we first meet Darryl, he’s in a rough spot, ordering so much GHB online that he finds himself in the hospital. When he gets out, he starts going to couple’s therapy with his wife. Darryl starts to rely more and more on his best friend, Bill, and a trans woman he meets on a road trip to Vegas named Oothoon. He dips his toes in the local polyamory and BDSM communities, only to learn the therapist, Clive, is not a licensed practitioner, but a con man with a wicked and disturbing past.
Reading the first half of this book was a strange and occasionally off-putting experience. Darryl seems so nondescript and amoral that you are more freaked out by his blase approach to life than by his fetishes. Yet, the text is so deceptively simple and the narrator so genuinely weird that you keep reading Darryl’s diary, trying to figure out the truth of what he will not tell you.
And then, in the second half of the book, you figure out what the story is actually about. I won’t spoil it, but realizing the reality of who Darryl is as a character was one of the most mind-bending and rewarding reading experiences I’ve had in a long time. This book has so much to say about fetishes and “otherness,” namely which mainstream sexual rights are fought for and which are derided and shoved to the side as sick and perverse jokes. This book is smart as hell!
This was truly an absolutely wild ride from beginning to end and one of the most original novels I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. If you enjoy books where nothing is as it seems on the surface with downright Steinbeck-style endings, you must give this a read! It’s available now as a pre-order when you order directly from the publisher Clash Books, but is being released generally in May.
Please note: I was provided a digital ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review. Thank you, Jackie!
July 19, 2022
If you're a cuck, you're not alone. There aren't all that many of us but I bet it'd be a lot more if people were more honest. And everything changes when you stop pretending, brother.
Darryl is the voice of this novel, and he is a 40ish white male who has been exploring an identity as a cuckold, but has grown to question the limits and boundaries of the cuckolding lifestyle. The voice is at times thrilling and confounding, exasperating and hilarious.
This is a novel where plot is secondary to voice. We question many of Darryl's choices and have to wonder how much of his behaviour can be chalked up to peer pressure — the influence of "alpha" males he desires in a complicated, consuming fashion.
"Cuck" is an all-purpose insult now, an expression of disdain often heard from the right wing, and Darryl gets into that as well.
The novel is really an exploration of male sexuality, as viewed from the shadows. The novel is daring and irreverent, and many people will find it profoundly disturbing.
Darryl is the voice of this novel, and he is a 40ish white male who has been exploring an identity as a cuckold, but has grown to question the limits and boundaries of the cuckolding lifestyle. The voice is at times thrilling and confounding, exasperating and hilarious.
This is a novel where plot is secondary to voice. We question many of Darryl's choices and have to wonder how much of his behaviour can be chalked up to peer pressure — the influence of "alpha" males he desires in a complicated, consuming fashion.
"Cuck" is an all-purpose insult now, an expression of disdain often heard from the right wing, and Darryl gets into that as well.
The novel is really an exploration of male sexuality, as viewed from the shadows. The novel is daring and irreverent, and many people will find it profoundly disturbing.
July 29, 2021
More cringe than funny. Is cringecore a thing? It must be, right?
I put Darryl on hold at the library immediately after seeing 👑 Samantha Irby recommend it. I was hooked by the synopsis and first couple chapters. I mean, who wouldn't be? I've never read such a queer, kinky novel, especially one with such mainstream hype. And there is something admirably zen about our protagonist and his non-judgmental exploration of identity and sexuality. More people should be like Darryl. Not cucks, necessarily, but willing to color outside the lines and to not judge when things get messy. I also liked his moments of critical thinking about race, gender, and the way popular/internet culture uses identity as a shortcut to ideology.
So I hesitate to draw this comparison since Fifty Shades of Grey is a much more simplistic and problematic look at kink than Darryl is, BUT what we all learned from Fifty Shades of Grey is that the fact that a novel is progressive in the identities it portrays is not enough to make it GOOD. I love the matter-of-fact way Darryl talks not only about kink but about homosexuality, bisexuality, and transness, and I think contemporary literature could benefit from more inclusion. But.
This book just isn't it, friends. After a few very interesting initial chapters, it just kind of repeats depressingly with the same tone and types of jokes throughout much of the narrative. I didn't really like Darryl or enjoy being in his head (but to be fair, cucks aren't really asking people to like them). When the novel transitioned into a kind of murder mystery, I was invested again, but the pacing and wrap-up is so bizarre and rushed in a way that more generous reviews note as purposefully chaotic but that I found unsatisfying.
And maybe that's notable, too: I enjoyed reading all the reviews of Darryl more than I liked reading Darryl itself. One of my favorites by Cora says that this novel is "at once a satire of mindfulness, a psychological thriller, and a love story," one that has something to say about "the social as a field structured by dominance and submission far beyond the overtly sexual." I mean, yes! And that's super interesting and compelling! I just wish I enjoyed reading the actual book more.
I put Darryl on hold at the library immediately after seeing 👑 Samantha Irby recommend it. I was hooked by the synopsis and first couple chapters. I mean, who wouldn't be? I've never read such a queer, kinky novel, especially one with such mainstream hype. And there is something admirably zen about our protagonist and his non-judgmental exploration of identity and sexuality. More people should be like Darryl. Not cucks, necessarily, but willing to color outside the lines and to not judge when things get messy. I also liked his moments of critical thinking about race, gender, and the way popular/internet culture uses identity as a shortcut to ideology.
So I hesitate to draw this comparison since Fifty Shades of Grey is a much more simplistic and problematic look at kink than Darryl is, BUT what we all learned from Fifty Shades of Grey is that the fact that a novel is progressive in the identities it portrays is not enough to make it GOOD. I love the matter-of-fact way Darryl talks not only about kink but about homosexuality, bisexuality, and transness, and I think contemporary literature could benefit from more inclusion. But.
This book just isn't it, friends. After a few very interesting initial chapters, it just kind of repeats depressingly with the same tone and types of jokes throughout much of the narrative. I didn't really like Darryl or enjoy being in his head (but to be fair, cucks aren't really asking people to like them). When the novel transitioned into a kind of murder mystery, I was invested again, but the pacing and wrap-up is so bizarre and rushed in a way that more generous reviews note as purposefully chaotic but that I found unsatisfying.
And maybe that's notable, too: I enjoyed reading all the reviews of Darryl more than I liked reading Darryl itself. One of my favorites by Cora says that this novel is "at once a satire of mindfulness, a psychological thriller, and a love story," one that has something to say about "the social as a field structured by dominance and submission far beyond the overtly sexual." I mean, yes! And that's super interesting and compelling! I just wish I enjoyed reading the actual book more.
December 5, 2020
Some men want to watch the world. What if they tried living instead?
March 4, 2022
Absolutely wild. Bill the bull will live on forever in my heart.
March 15, 2024
Someone else spoke of Darryl as a hero in the way he walks through life without armor, taking every difficulty on the chin if not with grace without bitterness. A childlike Odysseus sojourning through a world of monsters, oracles and strange tribes, Darryl doesn’t stick around anywhere for long. He might say it’s because that’s just not the kind of guy he is, but I think it’s because he’s become someone else in the meantime and this someone else has his own quest he needs to go on. There’s no defeat for Darryl. Death, poverty and heartbreak seem to loom except when they actually do. He’s a Flow guy even if he doesn't get along with other flow guys.
This is a book for the Kundera heads. Laughter and sober reflection both draw from the same well of Fantasy. Ess understands this as her own kind of existentialist and as her own kind of comedienne. Is the book for Dennis Cooper fans? Reasonable people can disagree about that, I would just say this may well end up being true of Ess’ second or third book. I’ll show my cards a little more and admit I worry Ess might have defanged _The Sluts_ by putting them on her character Clive. In the end I think this book’s for the Oothoons and the Bills. To find out which you are, please slam the Purchase button on CLASH’s website.
Ok, ok, cutting the crap, _Darryl_ is an astounding debut novel! and I'm not just saying that because Jackie's a friend. It wouldn't be enough to say she's flexing her wings with this book, she's flexing her /albatross/ wings. Big ol' Michael Jordan holding his arms out and palming a basketball type wings. Swish.....................
This is a book for the Kundera heads. Laughter and sober reflection both draw from the same well of Fantasy. Ess understands this as her own kind of existentialist and as her own kind of comedienne. Is the book for Dennis Cooper fans? Reasonable people can disagree about that, I would just say this may well end up being true of Ess’ second or third book. I’ll show my cards a little more and admit I worry Ess might have defanged _The Sluts_ by putting them on her character Clive. In the end I think this book’s for the Oothoons and the Bills. To find out which you are, please slam the Purchase button on CLASH’s website.
Ok, ok, cutting the crap, _Darryl_ is an astounding debut novel! and I'm not just saying that because Jackie's a friend. It wouldn't be enough to say she's flexing her wings with this book, she's flexing her /albatross/ wings. Big ol' Michael Jordan holding his arms out and palming a basketball type wings. Swish.....................
April 23, 2021
You live vicariously through celebrities, I live vicariously through the guys who fuck my wife. But sure, ok, I'm the weird one.
So begins a lovely page-turner of a novel about gender, sex, kink, cuckoldry, frogmen, and what to do with a missing stair with a big cock who rails your wife.
I didn't know what I was getting into when I started Darryl, other than that Ess was working on a novel about cucking, and it sounded pretty well researched. I quickly surmised Darryl Cook seemed like a good posterboy for the community. Despite being somewhat new to "the lifestyle," he's taken cuckoldry to heart, and more than just a kink: For Darryl, men are split into the bull/cuck dichotomy, the latter of which Darryl rightfully belongs. Life is pathetic and pitiful when you're a cuck, but at least you're in the underground. You know your place.
And yet, all this brings Darryl great anxiety, so vulnerably laid out throughout the novel, where Darryl frequently questions whether masculinity is right for him or not to begin with.
Darryl is a page-turner for its elegant satire, its musings on gender and sexual desire, its protagonist's complicated love-hate relationship with masculinity, its compassionate fascination with the taboos of American culture. What Darryl is not is a novel about simplistic binaries and transitions. Nor is it invested in simple answers to complicated problems. Darryl sits first and foremost with the (surprisingly queer) men and women who gravitate to the cucking and kink world, and what happens when the boundaries are broached, when something goes wrong in its confines.
Morgan M Page described Detransition, Baby as a novel where "nobody comes out looking good." Darryl is similarly the case. But who ever said a cuck had to look good? Ess doesn't seem to think so, and we're all the better for it.
So begins a lovely page-turner of a novel about gender, sex, kink, cuckoldry, frogmen, and what to do with a missing stair with a big cock who rails your wife.
I didn't know what I was getting into when I started Darryl, other than that Ess was working on a novel about cucking, and it sounded pretty well researched. I quickly surmised Darryl Cook seemed like a good posterboy for the community. Despite being somewhat new to "the lifestyle," he's taken cuckoldry to heart, and more than just a kink: For Darryl, men are split into the bull/cuck dichotomy, the latter of which Darryl rightfully belongs. Life is pathetic and pitiful when you're a cuck, but at least you're in the underground. You know your place.
And yet, all this brings Darryl great anxiety, so vulnerably laid out throughout the novel, where Darryl frequently questions whether masculinity is right for him or not to begin with.
Darryl is a page-turner for its elegant satire, its musings on gender and sexual desire, its protagonist's complicated love-hate relationship with masculinity, its compassionate fascination with the taboos of American culture. What Darryl is not is a novel about simplistic binaries and transitions. Nor is it invested in simple answers to complicated problems. Darryl sits first and foremost with the (surprisingly queer) men and women who gravitate to the cucking and kink world, and what happens when the boundaries are broached, when something goes wrong in its confines.
Morgan M Page described Detransition, Baby as a novel where "nobody comes out looking good." Darryl is similarly the case. But who ever said a cuck had to look good? Ess doesn't seem to think so, and we're all the better for it.
May 30, 2021
"I've fallen out of masculinity, but I never landed, just falling forever"
Wow those Adrian Mole books really went off the rails when I wasn't looking
Wow those Adrian Mole books really went off the rails when I wasn't looking
October 21, 2021
I didn't think I would enjoy a novel-length Asperger-y monologue. But the narrator's voice is very well-executed.
The dark turn in the middle (shades of Dennis Cooper's The Sluts) started in an intriguing fashion. But I'm not a fan of how it eventually developed. Still, this was overall good fun.
The dark turn in the middle (shades of Dennis Cooper's The Sluts) started in an intriguing fashion. But I'm not a fan of how it eventually developed. Still, this was overall good fun.
April 25, 2021
I went in knowing only that Darryl was a book about a man living a certain lifestyle, but as I dug deeper I found myself thinking more than anything about phenomenology. Jackie Ess offers up a wide-ranging view of our collective imbrication within "the protein machine," shining through the curious prism of her protagonist.
Darryl is at once a satire of mindfulness, a psychological thriller, and a love story. The work has clear antecedents in Dhalgren and Dennis Cooper's The Sluts, but draws confidently on a broad cultural and tonal palette from William Blake to Rosemary's Baby. Through the meanderings of Darryl's love life one can catch glimpses of the Kid, or even Alex of Richard Bruce Nugent's "Smoke, Lilies, and Jade," discovering to his astonishment that "one can love two." Horror and lust commingle with annoying white women with dreads. There's a lot going on, but Ess keeps it light and engaging; this book is eminently readable and I finished it eagerly in just a few sittings.
This novel is concerned with the social as a field structured by dominance and submission in ways far beyond the overtly sexual. The antagonist's ruthless manipulation of that field reveals a crucial weakness in the "alternative lifestyle" ethos-- far from being an autonomous agent freely choosing one's own pleasure, one can easily become enthralled to a forceful personality and coaxed/coerced into self-destruction. How to deal with this remains an open question in the text as in the world, but the problem is at least genuine, unlike many of the false opprobria linked to queer and trans existence.
In the end, the eponymous cuck confronts the same question we all do: "What links my life to life?" I was surprised to find myself rooting for Darryl even while often finding him and his associates insufferable. Ultimately I found the work most resonant when it dared to make contact with the ineffable nature of experience. Ess reminds us that even the most limited of vessels may be vouchsafed a vision of eternity.
Darryl is at once a satire of mindfulness, a psychological thriller, and a love story. The work has clear antecedents in Dhalgren and Dennis Cooper's The Sluts, but draws confidently on a broad cultural and tonal palette from William Blake to Rosemary's Baby. Through the meanderings of Darryl's love life one can catch glimpses of the Kid, or even Alex of Richard Bruce Nugent's "Smoke, Lilies, and Jade," discovering to his astonishment that "one can love two." Horror and lust commingle with annoying white women with dreads. There's a lot going on, but Ess keeps it light and engaging; this book is eminently readable and I finished it eagerly in just a few sittings.
This novel is concerned with the social as a field structured by dominance and submission in ways far beyond the overtly sexual. The antagonist's ruthless manipulation of that field reveals a crucial weakness in the "alternative lifestyle" ethos-- far from being an autonomous agent freely choosing one's own pleasure, one can easily become enthralled to a forceful personality and coaxed/coerced into self-destruction. How to deal with this remains an open question in the text as in the world, but the problem is at least genuine, unlike many of the false opprobria linked to queer and trans existence.
In the end, the eponymous cuck confronts the same question we all do: "What links my life to life?" I was surprised to find myself rooting for Darryl even while often finding him and his associates insufferable. Ultimately I found the work most resonant when it dared to make contact with the ineffable nature of experience. Ess reminds us that even the most limited of vessels may be vouchsafed a vision of eternity.
June 23, 2021
The pacing in DARRYL is super weird, but I think this is fully intentional; the novel starts as an episodic picaresque, gradually ties its different threads together, then speeds through a suspense plot involving attempted murder, dramatic rescue, major life upheaval, etc. in, like, the last fifteen or twenty pages. Overall, I liked it immensely; almost every character in DARRYL, not least the titular protagonist, would be easy to turn into a one-note joke, but instead they all come off as sympathetic people with some depth. There's definitely lots of humor to be found here, but it's not as much of a straightforward comedy as I was expecting, either. There is a real, deep sadness that permeates the story, which is as much about being a person who suffers from ennui, depression, and a sense of being "less real" than everyone around oneself as it is about cuckolding, queerness, relationship drama, and sex.
I think this is the first time I've read a book with this sort of self-discovery/ how-should-I-live?/ looking for love and experimenting with sex character arc where the protagonist was solidly middle aged instead of in his teens or twenties. This definitely adds some to the sadness: Darryl has had a multi-decade adult life prior to the events of the novel, so there's a real weight to his regrets and his thoughts about getting older that no 20-something could match. But I also found it kinda pleasant and uplifting, a nice reminder that lots of people don't have everything figured out by their mid-40s and that's okay, that people can try new things and reconsider their identities and fall in love with surprising people (and make huge mistakes!) at any age, that the process of growing and changing never stops.
DARRYL kind of reminded me of reading someone's blog on LJ or Wordpress around 2007-2011, in a good way. Conversational, confessional, meandering from thought to thought but slowly building a picture of a person's life and problems and cyclical ups and downs.
I think this is the first time I've read a book with this sort of self-discovery/ how-should-I-live?/ looking for love and experimenting with sex character arc where the protagonist was solidly middle aged instead of in his teens or twenties. This definitely adds some to the sadness: Darryl has had a multi-decade adult life prior to the events of the novel, so there's a real weight to his regrets and his thoughts about getting older that no 20-something could match. But I also found it kinda pleasant and uplifting, a nice reminder that lots of people don't have everything figured out by their mid-40s and that's okay, that people can try new things and reconsider their identities and fall in love with surprising people (and make huge mistakes!) at any age, that the process of growing and changing never stops.
DARRYL kind of reminded me of reading someone's blog on LJ or Wordpress around 2007-2011, in a good way. Conversational, confessional, meandering from thought to thought but slowly building a picture of a person's life and problems and cyclical ups and downs.
April 28, 2021
Perks of Being a Wallflower for middle aged dudes who like to watch their wives have sex with other men.
Darryl is both a humorous and insightful novel. Through the lens of kink and fetish, Jackie Ess explores gender, sexuality, and culture. We get chapters exploring the “trans thing” alongside musings about music.
Even from the beginning, Darryl doesn’t seem to be in a very happy marriage. Perhaps that’s driving this fetish as defense mechanism. Can something like that contain happiness? We don’t really get to focus on his wife Mindy very much. But the novel is called Darryl for a reason. Darryl himself admits his selfishness. It was never about Mindy.
This is not an erotic book. Do people expect that? I could see this taught in a gender studies class. I could see this taught in a religious studies class. The cuckolding plot is a ruse, a lure to spark reader curiosity. Soon they’ll realize it’s about more than an insult slung during the 2016 election cycle. This is Darryl’s dark night of the soul.
Darryl is both a humorous and insightful novel. Through the lens of kink and fetish, Jackie Ess explores gender, sexuality, and culture. We get chapters exploring the “trans thing” alongside musings about music.
Even from the beginning, Darryl doesn’t seem to be in a very happy marriage. Perhaps that’s driving this fetish as defense mechanism. Can something like that contain happiness? We don’t really get to focus on his wife Mindy very much. But the novel is called Darryl for a reason. Darryl himself admits his selfishness. It was never about Mindy.
This is not an erotic book. Do people expect that? I could see this taught in a gender studies class. I could see this taught in a religious studies class. The cuckolding plot is a ruse, a lure to spark reader curiosity. Soon they’ll realize it’s about more than an insult slung during the 2016 election cycle. This is Darryl’s dark night of the soul.
August 25, 2022
Lo farei leggere a tutte le persone che leggono qualcosa di estremamente misogino e lo bollano come provocatorio: questo è essere provocatori (while making it trans)
May 4, 2021
Delightfully funny and charming. Darryl, as we learn in one of the best first paragraphs I've read in a long time, is a cuck, a cuckhold. He likes to watch other men have sex with his wife. We follow Darryl as he gets deeper into the 'cuck lifestyle' as he calls it. He's not always a likable character but there's something compelling about him and his attempts to make sense of masculinity, sexuality, his own gender, and much more along the way. I won't spoil it, but things do take a dark turn. I was worried about him even though I'm not sure I like him. It takes consummate skill to pull off this kind of character. Highly recommended.
February 28, 2021
Addictive, hilarious and unexpectedly touching.
July 6, 2023
Transgressive. Sad. Hilarious. Wonderful.
August 23, 2022
I really like this book. It's 50% exploring the cuck-world by pretty clearly putting Darryl (cuck) in contact with new characters with specific gender identities/sexual preferences: trans woman, gay man, gay woman, scary bull, yogi, etc.) and having Darryl explore how he relates to and doesn't relate to those sexual identities. I appreciate the education (I think the best education is guided by personal narrative and empathy! Theater is important! History is stories!) as someone who didn't know what a cuck was before reading this book hah. Not that's this book is or should be a definitive guide on cucking culture, but it was some honest-feeling questioning of identity that made me ask questions further myself.
The other 50% (or maybe 25%) is the finely woven murder mystery that Darryl tries to unravel. This was tastefully done! Actually I wasn't super intrigued by the mystery itself, but I was compelled by Darryl's compulsion to discover what happened, and that made me thirstier to read on.
I really liked how Darryl changed his mind so often, flip-flopping constantly like I do when I'm trying to figure out what's right. I was intrigued by his wife, I wanted to know her more and the history of their relationship but kinda liked the mystery of her, of seeing her through Darryl's perspective and not as her own person. I never knew how she would respond or what she would do next.
The ending was a little silly. I'm not reading too much into it, and honestly I wasn't there for the plot but more for the relationships and thoughtful discussions along the way.
When I scrolled down to write this review I saw the beginning of Julie's review that said that she put it down halfway because she agreed with Webb's review about it being repetit- I stopped there because I started getting anxious I would change my opinion from reading other reviews, and wanted to note my thoughts down before exploring more, and I thought maybe I'm not a critical enough reader and wow is there a whole goodreads network? I met Webb once at a Russian bath, but I was a little intimidated and it seemed like every else knew each other and I didn't know how because Julie said that Webb was an internet friend. Did they know each other from the internet? Or from parties? Anyway, I'm not online and I've never been one to do all the research- I once wrote a pretty good essay formulating my own theory of media studies which my professor was impressed by but said I should have read the texts that already exist saying pretty similar things to what I concluded. I guess I like getting to the conclusion myself, an independence thing, and I'm a faster writer than reader.
So here's a negative thing about the book.
I didn't like the drug stuff, it kinda pulled me out and distanced me (like Darryl was actually distancing himself from the journal writing bc of his dissociation) and I was glad that didn't reoccur later in the story.
Sometimes the internet is scary I hope my mom never knows I read a book about cucking.
The other 50% (or maybe 25%) is the finely woven murder mystery that Darryl tries to unravel. This was tastefully done! Actually I wasn't super intrigued by the mystery itself, but I was compelled by Darryl's compulsion to discover what happened, and that made me thirstier to read on.
I really liked how Darryl changed his mind so often, flip-flopping constantly like I do when I'm trying to figure out what's right. I was intrigued by his wife, I wanted to know her more and the history of their relationship but kinda liked the mystery of her, of seeing her through Darryl's perspective and not as her own person. I never knew how she would respond or what she would do next.
The ending was a little silly. I'm not reading too much into it, and honestly I wasn't there for the plot but more for the relationships and thoughtful discussions along the way.
When I scrolled down to write this review I saw the beginning of Julie's review that said that she put it down halfway because she agreed with Webb's review about it being repetit- I stopped there because I started getting anxious I would change my opinion from reading other reviews, and wanted to note my thoughts down before exploring more, and I thought maybe I'm not a critical enough reader and wow is there a whole goodreads network? I met Webb once at a Russian bath, but I was a little intimidated and it seemed like every else knew each other and I didn't know how because Julie said that Webb was an internet friend. Did they know each other from the internet? Or from parties? Anyway, I'm not online and I've never been one to do all the research- I once wrote a pretty good essay formulating my own theory of media studies which my professor was impressed by but said I should have read the texts that already exist saying pretty similar things to what I concluded. I guess I like getting to the conclusion myself, an independence thing, and I'm a faster writer than reader.
So here's a negative thing about the book.
I didn't like the drug stuff, it kinda pulled me out and distanced me (like Darryl was actually distancing himself from the journal writing bc of his dissociation) and I was glad that didn't reoccur later in the story.
Sometimes the internet is scary I hope my mom never knows I read a book about cucking.
October 19, 2021
"But the other puzzle is this. Why can't I seem to move past this moment where everything is revealed, confirmed, the precise moment when we break the connection? The door, which was open a crack, closing. The rotary dial phone, clattering to the floor. My wife, lost to the brute. And I'm lost too, in this kind of ecstasy of shame that takes me out of myself, and deeper into this kind of ocean roar feeling."
I cant deny that Darryl has one hell of a hook. It just snaps your attention. The novel can be read as a quest narrative, the protagonist on a symbolic journey of self-discovery and actualization. A self-confessed proud cuck(old), Darryl has a habit of pathologizing his kink, how it's unfairly become a right wing insult that must be now reclaimed. He identifies cuckoldry as a sexual orientation, the only one about truth & not performance, pleasure, or recognition (talking to a trans character no less). He accepts his place in the Greek letter order of masculinity, fulfills his role, but yearns for more.
Cue the flings, the experiments, and a long list of his wife's lovers. The bully from school who still baits him. The fake therapist and former murder suspect. The butch lesbian, a man's man. The considerate dude who becomes a conduit for Darryl's homosexual stirring. Throughout, he meanders through an alien internet culture, commits conversational faux pas while discoursing on sexuality and manhood. He admits "I've fallen out of masculinity, but I never landed, just falling forever". It goes haywire occasionally, the end is eh, but it is still entertaining. Enjoyable yet has poignancy.
(I received a finished copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)
July 12, 2021
Written in a style reminiscent of a particularly artful diary, this book moves between themes, topics, and plot points with a grace and fluidity seldom seen. Jackie Ess knows when to make a hard leap or a soft transition, and the combination of voice and craft stands up there with the greats of first person narration. The dialogue is rare but punchy, leaving us to occupy the consciousness of our narrator in a way few achieve. On a technical level the book is a marvel and should be taught in Masters level classes.
The protagonist, Darryl, isn't just a cuck. He's a man straddling the lines of queerness and polyamory, who spends the entire thing on a journey of self-discovery that would make any literary hero jealous. The hook, that it's about a cuckold, doesn't begin to describe what the book is really about. It's an exercise in revelation.
The combination of premise, plot, craft, and style makes for a smooth and pleasurable reading experience. It's a particular kind of treat I rarely come across: If I had to compare it to anything it would be Fight Club and You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine. It's just fun to read, and that's something to be treasured. Five stars, of course, and can't wait for the next novel from this author.
The protagonist, Darryl, isn't just a cuck. He's a man straddling the lines of queerness and polyamory, who spends the entire thing on a journey of self-discovery that would make any literary hero jealous. The hook, that it's about a cuckold, doesn't begin to describe what the book is really about. It's an exercise in revelation.
The combination of premise, plot, craft, and style makes for a smooth and pleasurable reading experience. It's a particular kind of treat I rarely come across: If I had to compare it to anything it would be Fight Club and You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine. It's just fun to read, and that's something to be treasured. Five stars, of course, and can't wait for the next novel from this author.
June 30, 2023
My book club is not Oprah’s and this was our latest pick. I don’t usually enjoy such a submissive voice but I was told this was a dark but very funny one - and it was! 3.5-4 stars.
November 8, 2021
DARRYL by Jackie Ess just didn't hit right for me. I picked up the book based on all the good things that have been said about this book. And I get why this book connects with people. I struggled to understand why I wasn't connecting with the book. And then, about three quarters of the way into the book, it hit me.
DARRYL is, I believe, at its core, a philosophy book. I've never done well with philosophical based narratives. Yet, there was a narrative at the forefront that, to its credit, buried that lede. Its the reason I found I couldn't connect with protagonist's wandering points of view. Its the reason why I never felt any of the relationships in the book were genuine. Its the reason I was frustrated when the main character would wander in to the weeds with observations about things far off from the plot.
Its not that its bad storytelling. Its that DARRYL is observations about all types of relationships and identities and sexuality and life and people and the world. DARRYL is like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for a new generation. I'm just not that generation I guess.
DARRYL is, I believe, at its core, a philosophy book. I've never done well with philosophical based narratives. Yet, there was a narrative at the forefront that, to its credit, buried that lede. Its the reason I found I couldn't connect with protagonist's wandering points of view. Its the reason why I never felt any of the relationships in the book were genuine. Its the reason I was frustrated when the main character would wander in to the weeds with observations about things far off from the plot.
Its not that its bad storytelling. Its that DARRYL is observations about all types of relationships and identities and sexuality and life and people and the world. DARRYL is like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for a new generation. I'm just not that generation I guess.
January 10, 2022
this is what jd salinger THOUGHT he was doing 😤
jk but the freeform/stream of consciousness style of writing kept bringing me back to my catcher in the rye stanning days. but i actually really DID trust that darryl was telling it to us like it is. sometimes to a fault!!
shocking, profound, hilarious, devastating - a short book that packs a 500-page worthy punch. loved it
jk but the freeform/stream of consciousness style of writing kept bringing me back to my catcher in the rye stanning days. but i actually really DID trust that darryl was telling it to us like it is. sometimes to a fault!!
shocking, profound, hilarious, devastating - a short book that packs a 500-page worthy punch. loved it
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June 19, 2021gay as in grimy and trans as in trans ... valuative?? read most of this in one go on a flight and it was terrific. not what i expected but everything i wanted – has me thinking about the possibilities of "queering" lit in anomalous ways, like through the pov of a middle-aged white cuck!!
February 22, 2021
review coming soon
September 25, 2022
I enjoyed this book and found it to be a fairly quick, engaging read. Darryl is a very candid narrator and due to the diaristic style of the writing it feels like there is very little distance between reader and protagonist, which I think is mainly effective insofar as it brings you right into this somewhat niche cuck subculture. I read an interview with Jackie Ess where she compares her process of writing this book to method acting, and I'd say that shows in the sometimes stream of consciousness thoughts we get from Darryl's entries, which are often quite short and perhaps occasionally underdeveloped.
The book acknowledges but does not really dive into the ways in which the idea of cuckoldry and its implications for masculinity play an outsize role in far-right online culture. Certainly it's a big topic and perhaps beyond the scope of what Ess is trying to do with this fairly contained novel, but I was a bit disappointed to not get more reflections on the distinctions between the idea of a cuck is deployed rhetorically compared to how it is experienced as a set of consensual practices.
Of course the counterpoint to this in some sense is the character of Clive, who embodies many of the pathologies of "alpha" masculinity and is implied at various points to be a Trump voter (even as some of his other class and cultural markers distinguish him from the prototypical Republican man). I never really found Clive believable as a character - from the beginning he felt more like an archetype or test case for a certain variety of the will to power. In fact I found myself thinking most often of the character of the Judge from Blood Meridian, who also looms large as a fear-inducing ubermensch but much more effectively so.
Ultimately I think the murder mystery part of the book was interesting - I think it gave the story some structure and progression it needed - but ultimately a bit overplayed. Without spoiling, I thought the ending was both predictable and pat, and undermined a lot of the nuance and complexity of relationships that Ess develops throughout the book. I also found it strange that the female characters were so underdeveloped. We really don't have a sense at all of Mindy and Darryl's relationship pre-their current arrangement, aside from a few moments of tenderness and betrayal. I'm probably as interested in the appeal of the cuckoldry arrangement to Mindy as to Darryl, but aside from Darryl's ventriloquizing of her thoughts, we don't get much access to how the lifestyle affects Mindy's subjectivity, her relationships, etc. Of course, it may well be that is a better project for a different novel, I just thought that there could have been space for it in this one.
Lastly, I thought that the book presented an authentic-feeling depiction of Darryl's struggles to determine his queerness. As a character he feels so lonely and alienated from forms of collectivity that you want a revelation about his sexuality to provide him some clarity, but of course it does not. I appreciate that rejection of queerness as epiphany even as it is centered in his personal development. Overall I was left with a desire to read a lot about and share thoughts about this book which I think is a sign the book worked for me on some level! Also s/o to Julie for lending me her copy via Michelle without probably realizing that she did. Thank you both!!
The book acknowledges but does not really dive into the ways in which the idea of cuckoldry and its implications for masculinity play an outsize role in far-right online culture. Certainly it's a big topic and perhaps beyond the scope of what Ess is trying to do with this fairly contained novel, but I was a bit disappointed to not get more reflections on the distinctions between the idea of a cuck is deployed rhetorically compared to how it is experienced as a set of consensual practices.
Of course the counterpoint to this in some sense is the character of Clive, who embodies many of the pathologies of "alpha" masculinity and is implied at various points to be a Trump voter (even as some of his other class and cultural markers distinguish him from the prototypical Republican man). I never really found Clive believable as a character - from the beginning he felt more like an archetype or test case for a certain variety of the will to power. In fact I found myself thinking most often of the character of the Judge from Blood Meridian, who also looms large as a fear-inducing ubermensch but much more effectively so.
Ultimately I think the murder mystery part of the book was interesting - I think it gave the story some structure and progression it needed - but ultimately a bit overplayed. Without spoiling, I thought the ending was both predictable and pat, and undermined a lot of the nuance and complexity of relationships that Ess develops throughout the book. I also found it strange that the female characters were so underdeveloped. We really don't have a sense at all of Mindy and Darryl's relationship pre-their current arrangement, aside from a few moments of tenderness and betrayal. I'm probably as interested in the appeal of the cuckoldry arrangement to Mindy as to Darryl, but aside from Darryl's ventriloquizing of her thoughts, we don't get much access to how the lifestyle affects Mindy's subjectivity, her relationships, etc. Of course, it may well be that is a better project for a different novel, I just thought that there could have been space for it in this one.
Lastly, I thought that the book presented an authentic-feeling depiction of Darryl's struggles to determine his queerness. As a character he feels so lonely and alienated from forms of collectivity that you want a revelation about his sexuality to provide him some clarity, but of course it does not. I appreciate that rejection of queerness as epiphany even as it is centered in his personal development. Overall I was left with a desire to read a lot about and share thoughts about this book which I think is a sign the book worked for me on some level! Also s/o to Julie for lending me her copy via Michelle without probably realizing that she did. Thank you both!!
May 5, 2021
A wonderful piece of fiction written with the heart of thousand saints and the ferocity of a blowtorch.
Darryl is told in diary-like short chapters written by a guy named Darryl Cook, who gets off when other man are having sex with his wife. He is what you might call a cuckold. The novel is his journey into confronting his own fears about his own sexuality, genuinely connect to other human being and become the person he was always meant to be. Written by a trans author, LGBTQ themes take the forefront of the novel, but they are approached from the point of view of someone who feels deviant and since everyone feels deviant about one thing or another in life, it feels imminently relatable.
Darryl feels like the mutant baby of Chuck Palahniuk and Tom Perrotta. I had a wicked time with it.
Darryl is told in diary-like short chapters written by a guy named Darryl Cook, who gets off when other man are having sex with his wife. He is what you might call a cuckold. The novel is his journey into confronting his own fears about his own sexuality, genuinely connect to other human being and become the person he was always meant to be. Written by a trans author, LGBTQ themes take the forefront of the novel, but they are approached from the point of view of someone who feels deviant and since everyone feels deviant about one thing or another in life, it feels imminently relatable.
Darryl feels like the mutant baby of Chuck Palahniuk and Tom Perrotta. I had a wicked time with it.
December 15, 2021
i stopped reading this book halfway through a few months ago bc i agree w webb the first half is kinda repetitive, a bunch of diff/funny cucking scenarios. i read the second half in a single shot last night though and really enjoyed it!
this book feels like queer theory or that one new inquiry article i read a few years ago on the top shortage but told through the pov of a sweet, thoughtful middle aged man who thinks and feels a lot, interacting with but not starting from the assumptions that you'd have from being within queer culture. it feels really novel and i don't quite know how to articulate it and i really wouldn't want to in queer theory-y terms, which seems like the point. but i guess it starts from kinda commonly accepted thought/tweet that "heterosexuality (/masculinity) is a prison" but the escape from that isn't necessarily queer community or having a solid sense of who you are. i liked how darryl coming out as trans was set up as a red herring. "satori showed me how to be a man with a woman, and bill showed me how to be a woman with a man or maybe a man with a man, or however you want to label it. and mindy's there through it all to level me out. that's all i need." and the self loathing might not go away, and if you think a lot about how it manifests during sex you're kinda like, hmm, but the love and sex are like, very nice
i also wasn't crazy about the ending bc it felt a bit fixed. like clive is evil (i did like the bit that was like, psychopaths are just like us! that came earlier), darryl + bill are gay. the riding off on a motorbike into the unknown was a sweet sentiment though
this book feels like queer theory or that one new inquiry article i read a few years ago on the top shortage but told through the pov of a sweet, thoughtful middle aged man who thinks and feels a lot, interacting with but not starting from the assumptions that you'd have from being within queer culture. it feels really novel and i don't quite know how to articulate it and i really wouldn't want to in queer theory-y terms, which seems like the point. but i guess it starts from kinda commonly accepted thought/tweet that "heterosexuality (/masculinity) is a prison" but the escape from that isn't necessarily queer community or having a solid sense of who you are. i liked how darryl coming out as trans was set up as a red herring. "satori showed me how to be a man with a woman, and bill showed me how to be a woman with a man or maybe a man with a man, or however you want to label it. and mindy's there through it all to level me out. that's all i need." and the self loathing might not go away, and if you think a lot about how it manifests during sex you're kinda like, hmm, but the love and sex are like, very nice
i also wasn't crazy about the ending bc it felt a bit fixed. like clive is evil (i did like the bit that was like, psychopaths are just like us! that came earlier), darryl + bill are gay. the riding off on a motorbike into the unknown was a sweet sentiment though
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