Forty Days on Being a Five

Enneagram Daily Reflections #5

by Morgan Harper Nichols, Diana Blue (narrator)

What is it like to be an Enneagram Five? Instagram poet and artist Morgan Harper Nichols reflects on this question in a spirit of honest self-assessment and with a desire for personal and spiritual growth. She draws wisdom from the deep wells of counseling and spirituality using illustrations from both Scripture and life. Each of these forty readings concludes with an opportunity for further engagement such as a prayer, a spiritual practice, or a reflection question. Any of us can find aspects of ourselves in any of the numbers. The Enneagram is a profound tool for empathy, so whether or not you are a Five, you will grow from learning about Fives and enhance your relationships across the Enneagram spectrum.

Genres: Nonfiction, Faith, Self Help, Spirituality, Christian Non Fiction, Christian Living, Christian

Audio CD

Published November 9, 2021

About the author

Morgan Harper Nichols is an artist, poet, and musician who makes her work around people and their stories.

Morgan spent the first few years of her adult life as a college admission counselor, and then, as a full-time touring singer-songwriter and musician. It was on the road that she cultivated her curiosity and passion for the written word and art, and slowly began to share her art with others online.

In 2017, Morgan started a project where she invites people to submit their stories to her website. From there, she creates art inspired by what they send her, and then, sends them the art, for free. Nearly everything Morgan creates and shares today is from this project, and she always keeps the names and stories anonymous. The fruit of this project is shared daily around social media, in publications, on murals, and more.

Reviews

[Brian Virtue · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's fun knowing there's a quirky tribe of kindred spirits out there that have a lot of common ground going through life. I was surprised at how many of the 40 reflections really connected well. I expected 15-20 maybe, but it was closer to 25-30. Thought it was really well done and showed a lot of thoughtfulness and care throughout.

[Chelsea Hopkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m still struggling with whether or not the enneagram is a useful tool for me. Perhaps it’s just this author who I don’t really click with (I didn’t care much for a non-enneagram book I read by her last year either), or maybe it’s the fact that I feel like the enneagram as a concept boxes me in too much for my liking.

Something I’ve shared with a couple people as I’ve been going through this book is that it feels a little too close to self-help for my taste, and self-help books are very much not my cup of tea. I’d much rather read a fiction book or watch a movie that gets me to think about the questions - big and small - that self-help books and books like this ask me outright.

In any case, the most value I find from books of this ilk is in discussion had with others about them.

Bookstagram - @chelsealikesbooks

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Morgan Harper Nichols is a word genius. I love pretty much everything she writes and outs out. So I immediately jumped at getting to read this book. I am a 4w5 and my husband is a 5w6, so I knew I’d get a lot out of this little 40 day guide. It didn’t “teach” me a lot about being a 5, but mostly just because I’ve studied and read a lot about the enneagram and the different numbers. I think if you were knew to all this, it would definitely teach a lot. But what it did is make me realize how I’m not alone in being the way that I am, and that I can process things the way I do without feeling bad or like something is wrong with me. I even screenshot a few pages and sent them to one of my best friends who is also a 5, and she was like, “That’s me! I need that book!”

[Meggan Manlove · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! I’ve never read a book where I felt quite so seen. Morgan Harper Nichols is a beautiful thinker and writer. I am so grateful for this book. I wouldn’t be surprised if I read it annually and glean something new each year.

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Enneagram remains the personality system that speaks most deeply to me. So parts of this, a book of devotions around being a 5, resonate strongly, sometimes to the point of tears. There's not quite enough to support 40 interesting devotionals, however, and a lot of it feels shallow or redundant. The ones that hit me though hit me so hard it makes it a 4-star for me.

[Morgan Ridley-Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

** Don’t be mad at me Ysabel but I did finish this book. I promise I’ll go back and go through it more slowly doing the reflections and really sitting with it, but I wanted to keep readingggg. **

Anyway, I really enjoyed this book. Some great reflections and things to meditate about that felt really relevant to me and very healing. Some of them felt a bit repetitive or a little too vague at times but all in all it was great.

[Carter Hemphill · Rating 3 out of 5]

The devotional was helpful in melding Biblical principles and the Enneagram traits for a #5. Some were less relevant and sometimes I didn’t relate to the author’s concerns. Also, the prayers were less helpful, but that may be just me.

I wish there had been greater detail about Fives, and I thought that some of the devotions were very specific to the author and difficult to find greater relevance.

Wished it could have been more.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Always seeking to learn more about my 5. ❤

[Vonda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Morgan Harper Nichols is a singer/songwriter, poet, artist, and author. In this book (one of a series for each enneagram type), Ms. Nichols shares insights into the struggles and joys and thoughts on being a 5 on the enneagram, aka, the investigator.

Bear with me while I lay some groundwork for those who are unfamiliar with the enneagram. The enneagram is a tool you can use to determine your core desires and fears along with typical strengths and weaknesses for each type. You can google “free enneagram test” to help you determine your type. Other authors have penned a book for each of the other enneagram types to make a complete series. The format of the book offers 40 short devotional readings with a related scripture, prayer and/or questions for digging deeper.

To give some context, The Enneagram Institute website describes 5s as: “Alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.

Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable
Basic Desire: To be capable and competent

Key Motivations: Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment.“

I was interested in this book because I had done some reading and study on the enneagram and find it fascinating. I had also heard good things about Ms. Nichols and had heard her speak on a podcast. I enjoy her music and knew she was a celebrated writer. Ultimately, I was curious to read this book because my spouse is an enneagram 5 and I still don’t understand him, even after 26 years. (sheepish smile). I gained some basic insight into how 5s think. I found Ms. Nichols to be very transparent and I truly think this book will help other enneagram 5s work through and understand their tendencies. I would not hesitate to say this book exceeded my expectations. I can see it would be usefulness for becoming a more well rounded person.

Ms. Nichols draws out her fellow 5s to engage with others in their lives since they tend to isolate. She says, “As a five, you may encounter a feeling of emptiness on the journey. You may desire to let others in but struggle to figure out where to begin. But this is also true: you were never meant to travel alone. We have one another. Not only do we have other fives, but we also have friend groups, families, and communities that are worthy of being a part of, right here, right now.”

Similarly, she says, “I forget that like the sunflower, I was meant to be fully awake and alive in broad daylight even before I’m ready. I forget that even though my mind tells me I need to withdraw and hang back until I feel a little more equipped, God has already equipped me with a body to follow the sun…I am free to go out and be in the sun. I am free to be a part of the lightheartedness and experience the presence of light-woven love, even if I don’t understand it. Light is sweet and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. (Ecclesiastes 11:7)”

A favorite line in the book is from a prayer where she pleads, “May my soul remain unhurried in your Love.” My favorite prayer from the book says, “God, Oh what a gift it is to bask in your presence, a place where there is grace and wide open space to ask questions my heart so desperately craves to know the answers to, and all the while I am searching, I get lost in you, discovering that with or without the answers I feel like I need to have, in the arms of your Love, I am free to experience peace no matter the distance of my wonder, no matter the depths of my uncertainty. In Christ, I am free to embrace the mystery of who you are and all of the lessons and beautiful things you will continue to unfold before me. Amen.”

I love how honest Nichols is honest with her own fears. She says, “Fear is real, but so is Grace. It was never up to me to try to manage and control everything. In God, I have what I need. And there, in God’s divine presence, I become more than capable to show up in the way I’m meant to…I went from feeling completely unqualified and useless to feeling unqualified but aware that I was being used by God.”

I look forward to reading other books from this series, particularly the number I identify as which is the 9, the peacemaker. I received an ARC copy from the publisher and net galley in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Panda Incognito · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book shares brief reflections about how Christians who type as Fives in the Enneagram personality system can move towards a state of emotional and spiritual health in their everyday lives. The daily readings are typically two or three pages long, and are quick perspectives that pack a punch. Some of them end with reflection questions, others end with prayers that the author has written, and others suggest personal practices that readers can consider. The readings are all from Morgan Harper Nichols, a writer, poet, and artist, and she grounds her reflections in both Scripture and what she has learned from her life experiences. She also includes small sketches on some pages, and I enjoyed the artistic touch. Forty Days on Being a Five is a thoughtful, encouraging devotional book for people who share Nichols's Enneagram type, and for those who relate in general to her introverted personality.

Personal Evaluation

I type as a One, not a Five, but I still connected with many elements of Nichols's experiences. Although she illustrates her points with personal stories, she chooses examples that represent general traits, instead of being too specific to elements of her background that other people might not connect with. She writes in a compelling way about her growth towards spiritual and relational maturity, emphasizing core experiences and truths that other Fives or analytical introverts can relate to. I especially appreciated what she wrote about her struggles to fit in with social groups, and the pressure that she would put on herself to be prepared and well-researched before talking with people or engaging with issues. I related to many of her reflections about accepting God's love and grace, and learning to see yourself as adequate the way that you are, regardless whether your personality seems ideal in society.

Audience Considerations

Unlike some of the other books in this series, Forty Days on Being a Five is accessible to people regardless of their preexisting awareness of or interest in the Enneagram. If someone wants to buy this for a loved one who they think is a Five, I would still encourage them to provide additional resources to explain the Enneagram, but this book rarely uses insider language or presumes an intricate awareness of the personality typing system. Nichols doesn't even reference the Enneagram in many of the readings, and simply uses it as a jumping-off point to share reflections about her personality, personal growth, and relationships with God and others.

I was also pleasantly surprised by how consistently Nichols wove Scripture into her reflections. In my reviews of other books from this series, I noted that even though they would make great supplementary reading, they wouldn't be a replacement for a book that directly engages with Scripture. Forty Days on Being a Five is truly a devotional, however, with at least one Bible verse connected to every reading. Nichols also shares example prayers, and the book provides a holistic perspective on how faith connects with our lives. I would highly recommend this book to Enneagram Fives, introverts, and fans of Morgan Harper Nichols, and I'm thankful that I had a chance to read it.

I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Bob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: Forty short reflections with prayers and questions for those who are Enneagram Type Fives.

This is part of a collection of nine nicely bound books with forty reflections for each of the nine Enneagram types. Why am I reviewing the one for Fives? I could say random choice or because Five is halfway between One and Nine. But you’ve probably already figured out that it is because I am a Type Five, or as those into Enneagram would say, I’m a Five. We are variously described as the Investigator, the Thinker, the Observer. I actually think I am far more, but if the Type fits…

The introduction by series editor Suzanne Stabile encourages us to be generous with ourselves as we undergo change and transformation as we grow in self-understanding. Then Morgan Harper Nichols, a five begins with a chapter “On Being a Five.” I felt like she knew me when I read this description:

“The basic desire of the Five is to be capable and competent. We seek to understand and we fear being helpless. We are driven by a pursuit of knowledge that can at times, cause us to live in our heads. We find comfort in our safe places and reading nooks. We can spend a lot of our time thinking, compromising, and searching for insight” (p. 6).

The forty reflections that follow reflect an understanding of that desire and way of living. At different points, we are invited to notice and live in our bodies. We are invited to trust that we know enough and that God can meet us where we don’t. We’re invited to share our understanding rather than keep it to ourselves. We are encouraged to step away from being the removed observer all the time. We’re allowed to acknowledge our need to recharge and give up trying to control that and allow God to fill our cup.

Many of the reflections conclude with a prayer or a question or both. Space is allowed with the questions to jot down your own responses. One example of a question that recognizes how easily Fives compartmentalize life is “How have you compartmentalized your life? Are there ways you could zoom out and look at the whole?” A short prayer that spoke to me was this:

God,
Thank you for giving me this mind.
Thank you for the gift of wisdom.
Teach me today that to lean into your All-Knowingness
more than I lean into my own understanding.
Give me strength to live with questions so that I
may trust that in the space between what I have
asked and your answer, there is abundant room
to grow in faith.
Amen.

The reflections are short, between two and four pages. These easily may be read and reflected upon in fifteen minutes. Self-understanding and transformation are a journey of a lifetime. This little book covers just forty days of that–maybe 600 minutes. But the reflections can lead the five to trust that we are prepared enough, that we know enough, and that God is more than capable of meeting us in the gaps, and to step out on the dance floor rather than hug the wall.

____________________________

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

[Casey | Essentially Novel · Rating 5 out of 5]

“𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘦.”

I’ve been a long time fan of Morgan Harper Nichols and I have eagerly awaited getting my hands on a copy of this book. Morgan writes in a way that both Fives and others can gain something from it. The daily reflections share insights into how Fives think and perceive the world, offer encouragement to Fives, and end with either (or both) journaling prompts and a prayer. Morgan also brings Scripture and faith into the forefront in this and I appreciated that so much too. Being a Five I felt so seen and known reading this as it is a very accurate and honest representation of who we are at the core, the way we interact with the world, our strengths, our struggles, and the ways we are misunderstood.

Even though there are forty reflections, which are about 2-3 pages long, I chose to read a handful of reflections at a time. You can do either, and the next time I pick it up I plan on doing one a day. I hope to also pick up the others in this series (all written by different individuals who identify with that type) as I am positive I can learn more about the people in my life who aren’t Fives. The better understanding and compassion we have for one another, the better we can offer one another grace, support, encouragement, and appreciate the gifts we each uniquely offer.

So, this book on Fives written by a Five is getting a five out of five from this Five, you follow me?

Noteworthy quotes:

“𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘰𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳, 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘎𝘰𝘥. 𝘖𝘶𝘳 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵. 𝘈𝘮𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦: 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 - 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴.”

“𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘗𝘢𝘶𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘥, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦.”
(↑ this one really spoke to me given my present circumstances the first time I read this book)

“𝘐𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘴.”

“𝘞𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥.”

“𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯: 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦. 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴.”

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Underwhelmed. Reads very much like a typical Christian devotional. Verses all over the place. I was hoping to have more “OMG yes that’s so me” moments but just couldn’t relate to many of her 5 experiences.

If I had been able to page through it before buying I would have left it on the shelf.

[Patrick Funston · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this journey, especially because I partnered it with my wife (who did her own Enneagram’s version) and we shared our reflections with each other. I appreciated both the meditations themselves and the opportunities for journal-reflection to learn more about myself.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

While not every chapter struck a chord, several of them felt spot-on, and many more were very relatable. This book helped me recognize things I wasn’t consciously aware of. I suspect I will read it again—perhaps yearly.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m pretty sure I’m a 5, but certainly not everything the author describes about being a 5 resonates with me. However, this book led to a lot of valuable reflection and journaling. Glad I took my time with it.

[Lynne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm a "Five", but this book didn't really resonate...

[Nick Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good. I’m proud of myself for mostly actually using it as a devotional instead of plowing through it.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great devotional, the insights were helpful and seeing how another five tackles a daily walk in faith was encouraging. There were great reminders to slow down and be mindful and present.

[Steffanie Kamper Culp · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much was good in this devotional! Will reread in the future no doubt about it.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This encourages me as an enneagram 5. It gives support where I need it and shows me how I've become healthier over the years.

[Adrienne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m really enjoying this series and read this one specifically for the fives in my life. It was just as enlightening as I’d hoped it would be.