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Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER!
“A story that begs to be told. . . engrossing.” —The Washington Post
From the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi, a stirring account of one woman’s journey from feeling like an outsider to becoming one of the most admired religious leaders in the world
Angela Buchdahl was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father. Profoundly spiritual from a young age, by sixteen she felt the first stirrings to become a rabbi. Despite the naysayers and periods of self-doubt—Would a mixed-race woman ever be seen as authentically Jewish or chosen to lead a congregation?—she stayed the course, which took her first to Yale, then to rabbinical school, and finally to the pulpit of one of the largest, most influential congregations in the world.
Today, Angela Buchdahl inspires Jews and non-Jews alike with her invigorating, joyful approach to worship and her belief in the power of faith, gratitude, and responsibility for one another, regardless of religion. She does not shy away from difficult topics, from racism within the Jewish community and the sexism she confronted when she aspired to the top job to rising antisemitism today. Buchdahl teaches how these challenges, which can make one feel like a stranger, can ultimately be the source of our greatest empathy and strength.
Angela Buchdahl has gone from outsider to officiant, from feeling estranged to feeling embraced—and she's emerged with a deep conviction that we are all bound to a larger whole and mission. She has written a book that is both memoir and spiritual guide for everyday living, which is exactly what so many of us crave right now.
“A story that begs to be told. . . engrossing.” —The Washington Post
From the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi, a stirring account of one woman’s journey from feeling like an outsider to becoming one of the most admired religious leaders in the world
Angela Buchdahl was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father. Profoundly spiritual from a young age, by sixteen she felt the first stirrings to become a rabbi. Despite the naysayers and periods of self-doubt—Would a mixed-race woman ever be seen as authentically Jewish or chosen to lead a congregation?—she stayed the course, which took her first to Yale, then to rabbinical school, and finally to the pulpit of one of the largest, most influential congregations in the world.
Today, Angela Buchdahl inspires Jews and non-Jews alike with her invigorating, joyful approach to worship and her belief in the power of faith, gratitude, and responsibility for one another, regardless of religion. She does not shy away from difficult topics, from racism within the Jewish community and the sexism she confronted when she aspired to the top job to rising antisemitism today. Buchdahl teaches how these challenges, which can make one feel like a stranger, can ultimately be the source of our greatest empathy and strength.
Angela Buchdahl has gone from outsider to officiant, from feeling estranged to feeling embraced—and she's emerged with a deep conviction that we are all bound to a larger whole and mission. She has written a book that is both memoir and spiritual guide for everyday living, which is exactly what so many of us crave right now.
342 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 21, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 391 reviews
August 2, 2025
Can’t say I’m totally objective. But I loved this book. :)
November 8, 2025
5.0
The first Asian-American female to be ordained as a Rabbi. Angela now resides in NYC, heading up a very large congregation. She was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father.
The feeling of not belonging comes in a package. Self-doubt, anxiety, loneliness and the like are major struggles- until you beat it, which she did, but it was far from a walk in the park.
This book is terrific. She is quite spiritual, yet so down to earth.
Angela is a force to be reckoned with- in the best way.
I met her by chance and am totally impressed by her character.
The first Asian-American female to be ordained as a Rabbi. Angela now resides in NYC, heading up a very large congregation. She was born in Seoul, the daughter of a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish American father.
The feeling of not belonging comes in a package. Self-doubt, anxiety, loneliness and the like are major struggles- until you beat it, which she did, but it was far from a walk in the park.
This book is terrific. She is quite spiritual, yet so down to earth.
Angela is a force to be reckoned with- in the best way.
I met her by chance and am totally impressed by her character.
April 2, 2026
Prior to reading Angela Buchdahl’s “Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging,” I knew very little about her as an individual, and this autobiography introduced me to the intricacies of her life.
When discussing how her parents met, Buchdahl states,
“…I have often wondered how they managed to fall in love when their worlds were nearly indecipherable to each other….” (pg. 27).
This reminded me of how my paternal American gentile soldier grandfather and my Viennese-born Czech-Jewish grandmother met in the years immediately following World War II. Their only difference—in comparison to Buchdahl’s parents—was that he didn’t speak German and she didn’t speak English!
I feel a sense of kinship to Buchdahl, in numerous ways. For example, I was startled to discover that she named her first child Gabriel—the same name as my second great-grandfather. We both come from mixed families—both Jewish and gentile. However, how our families approached us as children were vastly different. Buchdahl states that,
“…If my father and mother had not decided to raise us as Jews, the Jewish thread of my family would have snapped: four thousand years stretching back to Sinai and ending with me…” (pg. 83).
Buchdahl was raised in Reform Judaism. Indeed, everyone, including her parents, reminded her that she was Jewish. In the community that Buchdahl grew up, everyone, including her parents, were idealists, whereas my childhood was inculcated with unwavering realism. I was told without hesitation since the time of my birth that I was “part Jewish” and “part everything else.” My understanding of my own reality prepared me for what was to come, unlike Buchdahl who, when going to Israel for a visit, was shocked when she was informed by a Rabbi that many other Jews would question her status as a born Jew.
I knew well before I turned eighteen that the Jewish community would never unquestioningly accept me as a Jew unless I underwent an Orthodox conversion. And even then, I would always be considered a convert while my lineage would be repeatedly overlooked. Of course, there are many Jews who DO accept me. And many of them say that I’m Jewish. But I know that I’m a mischling, a term that I am completely comfortable with. I’ve never felt the need to be accepted by any group, and especially not by any group who demands that in order for me to be accepted that I have to follow their rules; I was raised by a long line of rebels.
So, while Buchdahl and her sister got their feelings hurt by other Jews, I simply stated what I was. In doing so, I not only spared myself any possible hurt and rejection, but I also laid my existence squarely at their feet: if you don’t want mischlings, then tell Jewish men to keep their pe$&s in their pants. I realize this is much easier said than done and that it’s simpler, and less emotionally painful, for certain racist politicians to try to legislate against us.
In the past five years alone, a select number of hyper-religious racists in the Israeli Knesset have voted—actually voted TWICE—to remove all mischlings—with the exception of first degree mischlings—from immigrating to Israel. Both were defeated. But the fact that it even got to a vote says a lot, especially considering that religious hate is a serious crime in Israel. But I digress.
But just because one tries to legislatively erase people like me doesn’t mean that we don’t exist. We will ALWAYS be the irremovable splinter in the hands of haters—both Jews and gentiles—and, I have to be honest with you, I kind of enjoy it. You can NEVER get rid of me.
As a forensic psychic, I have seen the worst of humanity. If that wouldn’t have been enough, I also lived it, seeing it in real time. Jews and gentiles, it seems, keep pushing the “problem” into each other’s laps. Some Jews disavow mischlings, while, as one young mischling so eloquently explained on social media, Neo-Nazi’s “round up,” and treat us just like they would a Jew. But this isn’t unique to mischlings. For example,
1A: When I lived on Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, another Native drew a swastika on my window (I watched him do it), BUT…
2A: When I visited a town just outside the reservation, both of the white store owners said nothing—they simply turned around, walked in the back room, “silently’ refusing me service (an old tactic they used to pull on Natives whom they didn’t want to sell to because this way, they couldn’t be sued for discrimination).
In a world filled with racism and hate, you can’t win by playing other people’s games. “Friends” will sell you out for an outdated, stale pack of airline peanuts, all while they’re smiling at you, and there have been Jews and gentiles among their numbers, including Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Pagans, agnostics, and atheists which are represented by every color and ethnic group, including white, black, Native, Asian, Middle Eastern, and etc. You only have one option left: make them play by the rules of your own game.
I have heard Buchdahl described as formidable, and though I’ve never met her, I can attest to this; you simply cannot exist as a mischling and NOT be formidable.
Recently, there have been some claims that Buchdahl “threw Jewish people under a bus” by refusing to sign the rabbi’s letter against Mamdani, but I’ve got news for them: they threw mischlings under the bus a long time ago.
As a rabbi with a diverse congregation, I believe Buchdahl was desperately trying to ensure that her congregation survived. Like everywhere else in the world, there is a huge diversity of opinions in her synagogue; some of her congregants supported Mamdani and others didn’t and don’t. The lies on social media became engorged about Buchdahl, yet I found a video of her expressing her worry and concern regarding the antisemitism he allowed in his campaign. Clearly, Buchdahl didn’t approve of him as mayor and didn’t support his campaign, but instead of alienating her constituents, she said her piece and didn’t dictate her politics to them.
When I was halfway through with this book, I had to set it down and take a long breath of fresh air. Why? Because I identify with Buchdahl’s hardships and suffering. For example, when Buchdahl described an encounter she had in Israel:
“…Several people had suggested I interview an influential Orthodox Israeli songwriter, so I tracked her down. When I called her on the phone, she had questions for me before I could ask any myself—namely, where I was born, where my parents were from. Before I knew it, she’d ended the conversation: “My whole life is Torah, and I can only teach Torah to Jews. So I’m sorry, I can’t do an interview with you.” The irony was that she herself was a convert to Judaism and had once not been a Jew herself. But I will never forget her words, the sound of unapologetic certitude, the smack of exclusion…” (pg. 113).
In some areas of the United States, the “situation” that Buchdahl describes above is considered a perfectly acceptable way to initiate an “Oh, HELL no, b&%$@!” followed by a drive-by shooting. At the very least, Little Miss Convert would have been the recipient of a swift visit from the offended, followed by a rebaptism (or in this case, a wholly unkosher mikveh dunking) in the offender’s toilet bowl. Clearly, the fact that Buchdahl even **wrote** about this so passively—never mind that she didn’t personally hunt this woman down—provided enough evidence for me that she truly is a religious woman; a JEWISH woman.
I encourage everyone to read this book. By doing so, you become privy to Buchdahl’s life history and her mindset. She is a remarkable woman.
When discussing how her parents met, Buchdahl states,
“…I have often wondered how they managed to fall in love when their worlds were nearly indecipherable to each other….” (pg. 27).
This reminded me of how my paternal American gentile soldier grandfather and my Viennese-born Czech-Jewish grandmother met in the years immediately following World War II. Their only difference—in comparison to Buchdahl’s parents—was that he didn’t speak German and she didn’t speak English!
I feel a sense of kinship to Buchdahl, in numerous ways. For example, I was startled to discover that she named her first child Gabriel—the same name as my second great-grandfather. We both come from mixed families—both Jewish and gentile. However, how our families approached us as children were vastly different. Buchdahl states that,
“…If my father and mother had not decided to raise us as Jews, the Jewish thread of my family would have snapped: four thousand years stretching back to Sinai and ending with me…” (pg. 83).
Buchdahl was raised in Reform Judaism. Indeed, everyone, including her parents, reminded her that she was Jewish. In the community that Buchdahl grew up, everyone, including her parents, were idealists, whereas my childhood was inculcated with unwavering realism. I was told without hesitation since the time of my birth that I was “part Jewish” and “part everything else.” My understanding of my own reality prepared me for what was to come, unlike Buchdahl who, when going to Israel for a visit, was shocked when she was informed by a Rabbi that many other Jews would question her status as a born Jew.
I knew well before I turned eighteen that the Jewish community would never unquestioningly accept me as a Jew unless I underwent an Orthodox conversion. And even then, I would always be considered a convert while my lineage would be repeatedly overlooked. Of course, there are many Jews who DO accept me. And many of them say that I’m Jewish. But I know that I’m a mischling, a term that I am completely comfortable with. I’ve never felt the need to be accepted by any group, and especially not by any group who demands that in order for me to be accepted that I have to follow their rules; I was raised by a long line of rebels.
So, while Buchdahl and her sister got their feelings hurt by other Jews, I simply stated what I was. In doing so, I not only spared myself any possible hurt and rejection, but I also laid my existence squarely at their feet: if you don’t want mischlings, then tell Jewish men to keep their pe$&s in their pants. I realize this is much easier said than done and that it’s simpler, and less emotionally painful, for certain racist politicians to try to legislate against us.
In the past five years alone, a select number of hyper-religious racists in the Israeli Knesset have voted—actually voted TWICE—to remove all mischlings—with the exception of first degree mischlings—from immigrating to Israel. Both were defeated. But the fact that it even got to a vote says a lot, especially considering that religious hate is a serious crime in Israel. But I digress.
But just because one tries to legislatively erase people like me doesn’t mean that we don’t exist. We will ALWAYS be the irremovable splinter in the hands of haters—both Jews and gentiles—and, I have to be honest with you, I kind of enjoy it. You can NEVER get rid of me.
As a forensic psychic, I have seen the worst of humanity. If that wouldn’t have been enough, I also lived it, seeing it in real time. Jews and gentiles, it seems, keep pushing the “problem” into each other’s laps. Some Jews disavow mischlings, while, as one young mischling so eloquently explained on social media, Neo-Nazi’s “round up,” and treat us just like they would a Jew. But this isn’t unique to mischlings. For example,
1A: When I lived on Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, another Native drew a swastika on my window (I watched him do it), BUT…
2A: When I visited a town just outside the reservation, both of the white store owners said nothing—they simply turned around, walked in the back room, “silently’ refusing me service (an old tactic they used to pull on Natives whom they didn’t want to sell to because this way, they couldn’t be sued for discrimination).
In a world filled with racism and hate, you can’t win by playing other people’s games. “Friends” will sell you out for an outdated, stale pack of airline peanuts, all while they’re smiling at you, and there have been Jews and gentiles among their numbers, including Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Pagans, agnostics, and atheists which are represented by every color and ethnic group, including white, black, Native, Asian, Middle Eastern, and etc. You only have one option left: make them play by the rules of your own game.
I have heard Buchdahl described as formidable, and though I’ve never met her, I can attest to this; you simply cannot exist as a mischling and NOT be formidable.
Recently, there have been some claims that Buchdahl “threw Jewish people under a bus” by refusing to sign the rabbi’s letter against Mamdani, but I’ve got news for them: they threw mischlings under the bus a long time ago.
As a rabbi with a diverse congregation, I believe Buchdahl was desperately trying to ensure that her congregation survived. Like everywhere else in the world, there is a huge diversity of opinions in her synagogue; some of her congregants supported Mamdani and others didn’t and don’t. The lies on social media became engorged about Buchdahl, yet I found a video of her expressing her worry and concern regarding the antisemitism he allowed in his campaign. Clearly, Buchdahl didn’t approve of him as mayor and didn’t support his campaign, but instead of alienating her constituents, she said her piece and didn’t dictate her politics to them.
When I was halfway through with this book, I had to set it down and take a long breath of fresh air. Why? Because I identify with Buchdahl’s hardships and suffering. For example, when Buchdahl described an encounter she had in Israel:
“…Several people had suggested I interview an influential Orthodox Israeli songwriter, so I tracked her down. When I called her on the phone, she had questions for me before I could ask any myself—namely, where I was born, where my parents were from. Before I knew it, she’d ended the conversation: “My whole life is Torah, and I can only teach Torah to Jews. So I’m sorry, I can’t do an interview with you.” The irony was that she herself was a convert to Judaism and had once not been a Jew herself. But I will never forget her words, the sound of unapologetic certitude, the smack of exclusion…” (pg. 113).
In some areas of the United States, the “situation” that Buchdahl describes above is considered a perfectly acceptable way to initiate an “Oh, HELL no, b&%$@!” followed by a drive-by shooting. At the very least, Little Miss Convert would have been the recipient of a swift visit from the offended, followed by a rebaptism (or in this case, a wholly unkosher mikveh dunking) in the offender’s toilet bowl. Clearly, the fact that Buchdahl even **wrote** about this so passively—never mind that she didn’t personally hunt this woman down—provided enough evidence for me that she truly is a religious woman; a JEWISH woman.
I encourage everyone to read this book. By doing so, you become privy to Buchdahl’s life history and her mindset. She is a remarkable woman.
October 28, 2025
So inspirational that demonstrates how perseverance and passion can lead to spiritual success! I really enjoyed hearing the journey of this famous rabbi who overcame many obstacles to help an inordinate amount of people. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.
October 22, 2025
Absolutely fantastic book. I watch Central Synagogue’s Shabbos services on YouTube every Friday night and Saturday mornings. Their services have renewed my faith!
I have to say that if you have the opportunity to listen to the audiobook, it is wonderful! You can hear the Rabbi singing on this. Also, if you look up “Central Synagogue” on Apple Music, there is a beautiful album there!
I have to say that if you have the opportunity to listen to the audiobook, it is wonderful! You can hear the Rabbi singing on this. Also, if you look up “Central Synagogue” on Apple Music, there is a beautiful album there!
March 19, 2026
Wow! I haven't stopped thinking about this book.... And its been days since. And its never easy when you put an important review off. I do worry that all the meaningful thoughts that I wanted to share will become compromised. But oh did the book stay with me.
Angela Buchdahl has hit quite the circuit lately. Everyone I know has been talking about her, seen clips about her. In the Jewish community as well as in wider circles, she is a known name and quantity these days. I am just one of the first I know to read her book. Everyone I know, wants to.
What's pretty amazing abut her story, is that she is a Korean American Rabbi, born to a Jewish father and a Korean mother, who never converted, yet raised her Jewish. Raised in Tacoma Washington, where there were two other Jews in her high school and the third, the following year, was to be her sister. The author balances so many questions of identity and belonging. She felt called to Judaisn, but had a hard path (and sometimes still) believing she belonged, as either a Korean or a Woman. And even when in college she tried to join a Korean group, they all got together to attend a breakfast after Church, and she knew she wasn't quite that either. Her mother had it tougher. Never felt like she belonged. Was an immigrant, and was never quite seen in her mind as completely welcome by the congregation. She felt othered, and her daughters felt it. And yet she too persisted trying to do an unusual path and make it feel authentic and true. While Angela was drawn to Judaism and to questions of identity, and dual and triple identities, her sister fell away from it. She felt othered by Judaism and barely practices. I found that interesting. Angela's story is her own journey of how she became a Rabbi, first a Cantor and then a Rabbi (I totally loved that), and how she forged her own path, bringing these identities with her. She is "Kimchi on a Seder Plate." And she has embraced both, and moved her synagogue forward by embracing tradition, and being willing to also shape how tradition moves and includes. She is the conversation, has been a part of the conversation, and she moves and raises the conversation.
The beautiful parts where she talks about Jewish concepts and Judaism, well I am blessed to be very Jewishly literate, and I felt warmed by those parts. They weren't written to me. They were beautiful connectors, But here is what was written for me. This one line/paragraph. There were so many beautiful passages, that I broke the golden rule of books. Especially library books. I dog eared my way through all the passages I wanted to return to. I thought I should by the book, because the author deserves it - and also because I decimated this one. But also because I kind of wanted to have it in my home. She spoke to me in many ways and places. Here is the first passage that had me "marking". By the way marking is an interesting word, because one of the things I love about Judaism, one of the many things, is the marking. The sanctification. Marking the moment, and the way in which we strive to make things holy. Its a really missed part of the beauty of this religion. How often our days, movements, ideas, and being is about marking moments and raising them with holiness and sanctification. But here's the passage, if I share nothing else, where Rabbi Angela spoke for me, with my connection to Judaism. On page three, she is describing her experience of "The Call."
"The first tug, at age ten, came through Jewish music: a vocalization of longing, release, pain, and praise that bypassed the intellect and channeled to every nerve ending in my body. When I sang Jewish music and prayer, I came alive and felt like God heard me. The sense of belonging was visceral, corporeal; through those melodies, I felt, and often witnessed, instantaneous community."
Yup! She nailed it. Being Jewish is more than an identity for me, its swirls in every essence of my being. Its deeper than identity, its essence. But the experience and ancestral tie that comes through its music, its melodies - well, nothing connects me to the divine more than singing Jewish prayer, Jewish music. I have always gotten to the highest energy of joys and tears with hearing the melodies and singing them - often with harmonies, many that I have created. And singing in community, well there is nothing like it. I have always belonged to singing congregations.
My connection to Judaism has always been a part of my life, and I have always been moved. My whole life I have cried when singing the Schechianu - that simple prayer, my father's favorite prayer. (I have also cried for many years when singing Happy Birthday - for the same exact reason, especially when my children were young, and following some fertility challenge.). Thank you God, for creating us, sustaining us, and bringing us to this day. To this moment. It is the ultimate prayer of sanctification for the sacred ordinary. It is the prayer we sing every Shabbat, every holiday, every milestone. It is a prayer for the "firsts." I even wrote an essay on it, as my first son was graduation High School. My middle son always thought if he ever got a tattoo, it would be those three words. (Jews are not supposed to get tattoos - just saying." But if he did, he wanted that prayer. Schechianu, V'Kiamanu, V'Higgianu, Lazman Hazeh." Creation, Sustention, and this Moment. Gratitude, Love, Connection.
I've never been more connected to Judaism than I have this year, and I thought I couldn't have been more connected. After facilitating three bar mitzvahs, and raising a Jewish family, and all the Jewish singing, who knew how much more elevating this religion could get. But then my father recently passed. Just two days after Rosh Hashannah. Do you know how many dear friends of mine have lost parents in the last 6 (to 8) months as well? The number would astound you. My father was an extraordinary man, and we were connected through Judaism. But we were connected through music, and connected in every other way. He loved to go to services with me, and to listen to me sing. He loved the holidays I threw. And my husband too, our first date we had at Friday night Services at Temple Ohabei Shalom, where we later got married. And he told me that he fell in love with me when he first heard me sing. Of course I was going to grab this guy and never let go. And we are approaching our 30 year anniversary. My husband too, has been extraordinary. But around my family's life (also his), being there for my parents and not just during this last chapter... He made my family his own, as I have his. Like my father and my maternal grandparents, he was and is as much of a son to my parents as he was to his own. I have treasured that.
Many people are asking me these days. How are you do okay? With the decline and compromise of my mother and brother, and the loss of my father, who was the world to me... How are you okay? How are you this okay? My answer is always the same. And when my mother is clear, it is her answer too. We are lucky, we are blessed, we intone. The gratitude (and love) I feel for my father and his life is so incredible. I am so lucky, I say all the time. I got to have and know and be shaped and loved by this extraordinary man. And I got to have him for 91 years. 56 1/2 years, I got to be his daughter, and to love him. You can't get luckier than that. He is at peace now, and we will always be connected by love. Kind of like Judaism, he is connected to everything I am and do. And I got to be part of his passing - which is all I ever wanted. I got to give this man an extraordinary and transcendent passing. I got to usher him out with love and song and presence and intentionality. And I threw two bicoastal funerals and four shivas that were filled with such love and community - and song. I wrote three different eulogies, and ended each of them with a song, and one we sang as he was passing over. Those experiences deepened me and opened me. We are lucky, we are blessed. And I feel blessed with so many things. My husband, my three sons, my life, my extended family, our dear friends, with simple to great joys. I am one who sees and celebrates the blessings. That's who my father was too. That's who we are together. Schechianu. I am all about the gratitude and the blessings and when things get hard, the showing up with love.
So I have been doing my best to make this year an elevated one. An intentional one. A holy one. A joyful loving one. That is the best way to honor my father. I have been "trying" and somewhat succeeding, in going to Morning Minyan, early morning services. Those who know me, know I am not a morning person. A lot of elements have to line up to get me there. I am the worst of sleepers and I operate on nothing but fumes and a vitality/love mix. But I love going. I feel like I am elevating myself and my father by going. I feel him everywhere, but I feel him at Temple and when I am expressing my Jewishness. But joining with people at a time in the morning when the world is quiet.... There is kind of nothing like it. I feel connected to the journeys of all the people there, whether I know them deeply or not. And made at least one incredibly special connection, and feel very connected to the Temple Beth Shalom community, as I am watching another father daughter pair, have their incredible bond and special time. My father would have loved that. I am so grateful that another synagogue has this kind of a morning minyan (only 1/2 hour twice a week) that I can participate in, even if I get there rarely, it is my favorite of the Goldilox experiment. Most reform synagogues don't have it at all. I am also grateful for Temple Emanuel for having constant availability, morning and night, where I feel when I go, that I have dropped into an old world movie. It really feels like the real thing. And yet those people are the people (some of them) who I sang in choir with for the few years (and after) that we belonged there, and who I am (still) singing with for Project Manna, and have been for something like 15-18 of the 30 years its been in existence. I am so proud of that collaboration. The Jewish Gospel Concert, that raised money every year, that stocks the food pantry in Boston for the Boston Community Church for a year, until the next concert rolls around. And that we get to praise God together, Gospel style, with three synagogue choirs and a bunch of gospel groups. It really is my favorite night of the year. I love that we have a collaboration between the Jews and the African American community and that together we fight food insecurity, raising money through song and love and highest Total Praise. (For locals, the concert is next Tuesday, March 24th at Temple Emmanuel.). I just love it. And I love that the collaboration started at Ohabei Shalom, where we had our first date, and got married and had Jaden's bris.
But my beloved synagogue, TBE, Temple Beth Elohim. where we joined in 2004, between the bris of Jaden and Shain, where we had two bris services, three bar mitzvahs, two decades of High Holidays and learning, and so much music and singing.... The loss of four of our six parents... And so much more. I am so loving going to services every Friday night and singing through my tears of gratitude. I feel more embraced there than anywhere. And now getting to do this really fun musical with them, my second musical, only 11 years later), it is the highlight of my life right now, to be singing in the Project Manna concert, and spending my time putting on Fiddler. In this year of loss, its a year of holiness. I could not be more joyful, nor more connected to my father. He would have loved every second of all of this and I feel him. Everywhere, and all the time. Always connected to love.
And now I have completely lost track of the book. Totally and fully. But the jumping point, was the way music is an entry, but also the kind of belonging you can feel through Judaism, The kind of elevation. The kind of Divinity. There were so many themes in this book where I felt Angela, but honestly, I felt the whole thing. Israel, October 7th, George Floyd and activism. Jewish Camp, which has been such a second home and identity for my kids and our family. The concepts she spoke of when she traced her journey. So I return to the dog eared pages to see what's there, and what stand out, half a week and a couple of books later....
V'ahafta - and you shall love. Isn't it all about love? Loving yourself, loving one another? Shouldn't love always be the answer? Shouldn't we be leading with love? Ah, the next dog eared page is Joy. Of course it is. I don't even have to look further. Isn't seeking and experiencing joy what its all about? Lets see what's next. And there it is... In the moments where she is discussing the actual conversion she had to have, when she had always felt Jewish, was Jewish, and what did that mean, when she was two blended cultures, she found her path. "Schechianu V'Kiamanu, V'Higgianu, Lazman Hazeh. Thank You for Giving us Life, Sustaning Us, and enabling us to reach this moment. It was a moment of reaffirmation, yes, but also rebirth. No one had dictated this path. I had chosen it,"
Oh yes, as the pages start to unfurl, I now see the next dog ear. Humility has its own awe. I understand this one so well. Knowing we try to live at our highest, but that we are not just imperfect and flawed, we fail often and sometimes spectacularly. No one lives in the light I say, but its our striving that matters. That we are still striving and trying. Trying to get back there or close to it. Its the return that matters. But oh how I "got" it, when she said, "I am still often aware of the needs we are not meeting. The countless instances where I have let someone down. Been distracted, missed an event I shouldn't have... I neglected." But have been grateful for the honesty, and have strove to do better.
The last dog eared page to share - tears. To cry is to be human. This was the chapter about how October 7th affected and lives with the Jewish Community. But it was more than that. Something about the deepest places in us that become touched. Something about the way grief is shared, as is every other emotion. Its about humanity.
Angela, your book was beautiful and I feel blessed to have read and shared your story. And in an odd way, its all of our stories too. Even though they are different. To me it was about all the 'diverse' ways people somehow get there, and weave this tapestry. All the different varied stories that bring us together to this "place", a Mah Tovu if you will. I was moved by your story, and also deeply connected to it. I love the Central Synagogue and have been to a bunch of bar and bat mitzvah's there, through Crane Lake Camp. I just wanted to say I am proud of you, and proud of all of us and what we are doing together and have been doing for centuries. And to thank you for being a blessing. Thank you for your beautiful book. Thank You for you. Yasher Koach and keep Singing.
Angela Buchdahl has hit quite the circuit lately. Everyone I know has been talking about her, seen clips about her. In the Jewish community as well as in wider circles, she is a known name and quantity these days. I am just one of the first I know to read her book. Everyone I know, wants to.
What's pretty amazing abut her story, is that she is a Korean American Rabbi, born to a Jewish father and a Korean mother, who never converted, yet raised her Jewish. Raised in Tacoma Washington, where there were two other Jews in her high school and the third, the following year, was to be her sister. The author balances so many questions of identity and belonging. She felt called to Judaisn, but had a hard path (and sometimes still) believing she belonged, as either a Korean or a Woman. And even when in college she tried to join a Korean group, they all got together to attend a breakfast after Church, and she knew she wasn't quite that either. Her mother had it tougher. Never felt like she belonged. Was an immigrant, and was never quite seen in her mind as completely welcome by the congregation. She felt othered, and her daughters felt it. And yet she too persisted trying to do an unusual path and make it feel authentic and true. While Angela was drawn to Judaism and to questions of identity, and dual and triple identities, her sister fell away from it. She felt othered by Judaism and barely practices. I found that interesting. Angela's story is her own journey of how she became a Rabbi, first a Cantor and then a Rabbi (I totally loved that), and how she forged her own path, bringing these identities with her. She is "Kimchi on a Seder Plate." And she has embraced both, and moved her synagogue forward by embracing tradition, and being willing to also shape how tradition moves and includes. She is the conversation, has been a part of the conversation, and she moves and raises the conversation.
The beautiful parts where she talks about Jewish concepts and Judaism, well I am blessed to be very Jewishly literate, and I felt warmed by those parts. They weren't written to me. They were beautiful connectors, But here is what was written for me. This one line/paragraph. There were so many beautiful passages, that I broke the golden rule of books. Especially library books. I dog eared my way through all the passages I wanted to return to. I thought I should by the book, because the author deserves it - and also because I decimated this one. But also because I kind of wanted to have it in my home. She spoke to me in many ways and places. Here is the first passage that had me "marking". By the way marking is an interesting word, because one of the things I love about Judaism, one of the many things, is the marking. The sanctification. Marking the moment, and the way in which we strive to make things holy. Its a really missed part of the beauty of this religion. How often our days, movements, ideas, and being is about marking moments and raising them with holiness and sanctification. But here's the passage, if I share nothing else, where Rabbi Angela spoke for me, with my connection to Judaism. On page three, she is describing her experience of "The Call."
"The first tug, at age ten, came through Jewish music: a vocalization of longing, release, pain, and praise that bypassed the intellect and channeled to every nerve ending in my body. When I sang Jewish music and prayer, I came alive and felt like God heard me. The sense of belonging was visceral, corporeal; through those melodies, I felt, and often witnessed, instantaneous community."
Yup! She nailed it. Being Jewish is more than an identity for me, its swirls in every essence of my being. Its deeper than identity, its essence. But the experience and ancestral tie that comes through its music, its melodies - well, nothing connects me to the divine more than singing Jewish prayer, Jewish music. I have always gotten to the highest energy of joys and tears with hearing the melodies and singing them - often with harmonies, many that I have created. And singing in community, well there is nothing like it. I have always belonged to singing congregations.
My connection to Judaism has always been a part of my life, and I have always been moved. My whole life I have cried when singing the Schechianu - that simple prayer, my father's favorite prayer. (I have also cried for many years when singing Happy Birthday - for the same exact reason, especially when my children were young, and following some fertility challenge.). Thank you God, for creating us, sustaining us, and bringing us to this day. To this moment. It is the ultimate prayer of sanctification for the sacred ordinary. It is the prayer we sing every Shabbat, every holiday, every milestone. It is a prayer for the "firsts." I even wrote an essay on it, as my first son was graduation High School. My middle son always thought if he ever got a tattoo, it would be those three words. (Jews are not supposed to get tattoos - just saying." But if he did, he wanted that prayer. Schechianu, V'Kiamanu, V'Higgianu, Lazman Hazeh." Creation, Sustention, and this Moment. Gratitude, Love, Connection.
I've never been more connected to Judaism than I have this year, and I thought I couldn't have been more connected. After facilitating three bar mitzvahs, and raising a Jewish family, and all the Jewish singing, who knew how much more elevating this religion could get. But then my father recently passed. Just two days after Rosh Hashannah. Do you know how many dear friends of mine have lost parents in the last 6 (to 8) months as well? The number would astound you. My father was an extraordinary man, and we were connected through Judaism. But we were connected through music, and connected in every other way. He loved to go to services with me, and to listen to me sing. He loved the holidays I threw. And my husband too, our first date we had at Friday night Services at Temple Ohabei Shalom, where we later got married. And he told me that he fell in love with me when he first heard me sing. Of course I was going to grab this guy and never let go. And we are approaching our 30 year anniversary. My husband too, has been extraordinary. But around my family's life (also his), being there for my parents and not just during this last chapter... He made my family his own, as I have his. Like my father and my maternal grandparents, he was and is as much of a son to my parents as he was to his own. I have treasured that.
Many people are asking me these days. How are you do okay? With the decline and compromise of my mother and brother, and the loss of my father, who was the world to me... How are you okay? How are you this okay? My answer is always the same. And when my mother is clear, it is her answer too. We are lucky, we are blessed, we intone. The gratitude (and love) I feel for my father and his life is so incredible. I am so lucky, I say all the time. I got to have and know and be shaped and loved by this extraordinary man. And I got to have him for 91 years. 56 1/2 years, I got to be his daughter, and to love him. You can't get luckier than that. He is at peace now, and we will always be connected by love. Kind of like Judaism, he is connected to everything I am and do. And I got to be part of his passing - which is all I ever wanted. I got to give this man an extraordinary and transcendent passing. I got to usher him out with love and song and presence and intentionality. And I threw two bicoastal funerals and four shivas that were filled with such love and community - and song. I wrote three different eulogies, and ended each of them with a song, and one we sang as he was passing over. Those experiences deepened me and opened me. We are lucky, we are blessed. And I feel blessed with so many things. My husband, my three sons, my life, my extended family, our dear friends, with simple to great joys. I am one who sees and celebrates the blessings. That's who my father was too. That's who we are together. Schechianu. I am all about the gratitude and the blessings and when things get hard, the showing up with love.
So I have been doing my best to make this year an elevated one. An intentional one. A holy one. A joyful loving one. That is the best way to honor my father. I have been "trying" and somewhat succeeding, in going to Morning Minyan, early morning services. Those who know me, know I am not a morning person. A lot of elements have to line up to get me there. I am the worst of sleepers and I operate on nothing but fumes and a vitality/love mix. But I love going. I feel like I am elevating myself and my father by going. I feel him everywhere, but I feel him at Temple and when I am expressing my Jewishness. But joining with people at a time in the morning when the world is quiet.... There is kind of nothing like it. I feel connected to the journeys of all the people there, whether I know them deeply or not. And made at least one incredibly special connection, and feel very connected to the Temple Beth Shalom community, as I am watching another father daughter pair, have their incredible bond and special time. My father would have loved that. I am so grateful that another synagogue has this kind of a morning minyan (only 1/2 hour twice a week) that I can participate in, even if I get there rarely, it is my favorite of the Goldilox experiment. Most reform synagogues don't have it at all. I am also grateful for Temple Emanuel for having constant availability, morning and night, where I feel when I go, that I have dropped into an old world movie. It really feels like the real thing. And yet those people are the people (some of them) who I sang in choir with for the few years (and after) that we belonged there, and who I am (still) singing with for Project Manna, and have been for something like 15-18 of the 30 years its been in existence. I am so proud of that collaboration. The Jewish Gospel Concert, that raised money every year, that stocks the food pantry in Boston for the Boston Community Church for a year, until the next concert rolls around. And that we get to praise God together, Gospel style, with three synagogue choirs and a bunch of gospel groups. It really is my favorite night of the year. I love that we have a collaboration between the Jews and the African American community and that together we fight food insecurity, raising money through song and love and highest Total Praise. (For locals, the concert is next Tuesday, March 24th at Temple Emmanuel.). I just love it. And I love that the collaboration started at Ohabei Shalom, where we had our first date, and got married and had Jaden's bris.
But my beloved synagogue, TBE, Temple Beth Elohim. where we joined in 2004, between the bris of Jaden and Shain, where we had two bris services, three bar mitzvahs, two decades of High Holidays and learning, and so much music and singing.... The loss of four of our six parents... And so much more. I am so loving going to services every Friday night and singing through my tears of gratitude. I feel more embraced there than anywhere. And now getting to do this really fun musical with them, my second musical, only 11 years later), it is the highlight of my life right now, to be singing in the Project Manna concert, and spending my time putting on Fiddler. In this year of loss, its a year of holiness. I could not be more joyful, nor more connected to my father. He would have loved every second of all of this and I feel him. Everywhere, and all the time. Always connected to love.
And now I have completely lost track of the book. Totally and fully. But the jumping point, was the way music is an entry, but also the kind of belonging you can feel through Judaism, The kind of elevation. The kind of Divinity. There were so many themes in this book where I felt Angela, but honestly, I felt the whole thing. Israel, October 7th, George Floyd and activism. Jewish Camp, which has been such a second home and identity for my kids and our family. The concepts she spoke of when she traced her journey. So I return to the dog eared pages to see what's there, and what stand out, half a week and a couple of books later....
V'ahafta - and you shall love. Isn't it all about love? Loving yourself, loving one another? Shouldn't love always be the answer? Shouldn't we be leading with love? Ah, the next dog eared page is Joy. Of course it is. I don't even have to look further. Isn't seeking and experiencing joy what its all about? Lets see what's next. And there it is... In the moments where she is discussing the actual conversion she had to have, when she had always felt Jewish, was Jewish, and what did that mean, when she was two blended cultures, she found her path. "Schechianu V'Kiamanu, V'Higgianu, Lazman Hazeh. Thank You for Giving us Life, Sustaning Us, and enabling us to reach this moment. It was a moment of reaffirmation, yes, but also rebirth. No one had dictated this path. I had chosen it,"
Oh yes, as the pages start to unfurl, I now see the next dog ear. Humility has its own awe. I understand this one so well. Knowing we try to live at our highest, but that we are not just imperfect and flawed, we fail often and sometimes spectacularly. No one lives in the light I say, but its our striving that matters. That we are still striving and trying. Trying to get back there or close to it. Its the return that matters. But oh how I "got" it, when she said, "I am still often aware of the needs we are not meeting. The countless instances where I have let someone down. Been distracted, missed an event I shouldn't have... I neglected." But have been grateful for the honesty, and have strove to do better.
The last dog eared page to share - tears. To cry is to be human. This was the chapter about how October 7th affected and lives with the Jewish Community. But it was more than that. Something about the deepest places in us that become touched. Something about the way grief is shared, as is every other emotion. Its about humanity.
Angela, your book was beautiful and I feel blessed to have read and shared your story. And in an odd way, its all of our stories too. Even though they are different. To me it was about all the 'diverse' ways people somehow get there, and weave this tapestry. All the different varied stories that bring us together to this "place", a Mah Tovu if you will. I was moved by your story, and also deeply connected to it. I love the Central Synagogue and have been to a bunch of bar and bat mitzvah's there, through Crane Lake Camp. I just wanted to say I am proud of you, and proud of all of us and what we are doing together and have been doing for centuries. And to thank you for being a blessing. Thank you for your beautiful book. Thank You for you. Yasher Koach and keep Singing.
August 31, 2025
In Heart of a Stranger, Rabbi Angela Buchdahl shares her inspiring journey growing up as a half-Jewish, half-Korean immigrant to the United States. The book traces her upbringing, education and ascent to becoming one of the most respected rabbis in the world. With honesty and candor, Rabbi Buchdahl shares her experiences of being treated like an outsider in the Jewish community throughout her life and how she is now an outspoken advocate for inclusion and acceptance in the Jewish community. This book is more than just a memoir. After each chapter, Rabbi Buchdahl includes a short chapter with lessons on Jewish texts and practice. I really enjoyed reading the hybrid of personal experiences and teachings.
On social media, Rabbi Buchdahl has shared that the audio version of this book, which will be released in October 2025, will include her signing songs that "illustrate the narrative". I cannot wait to experience this book a second time when the audio version is released in several weeks.
Thank you to NetGalley and Viking Penguin for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
On social media, Rabbi Buchdahl has shared that the audio version of this book, which will be released in October 2025, will include her signing songs that "illustrate the narrative". I cannot wait to experience this book a second time when the audio version is released in several weeks.
Thank you to NetGalley and Viking Penguin for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
December 22, 2025
I loved this book. I learned a lot and loved the explanations at the end of every chapter.
October 29, 2025
Happy Pub week!
Heart of a Stranger is the gift that the world needs right now. None of my words could possibly do justice to the beautiful prose and deeply thought out ideas that Rabbi Angela Buchdahl sets out in her memoir. The book traces her time as an Asian American Jew in Tacoma Washington through to her role leading Central Synagogue in Manhattan.
Along the way, Buchdahl faces prejudice within and outside the Jewish community - for being a Jew of colour, for growing up as a Jew in a new-Jewish community, for being born to a Korean American mother when most Jews trace lineage matrilineally not patrilineally, for being a woman daring to dream she can lead a congregation while raising her children, for not being "Jewish" enough during her cantorial and rabbinical studies. And if those spiritual tests were not enough, Buchdahl is party to a terrifying role in a hostage situation, must learn to lead her congregation through prayers and life cycle events during the global pandemic, and has to offer her congregation comfort and wisdom in the face of the upheaval caused to the Jewish community and the world as a result of the October 7 2023 massacre.
Rabbi Buchdahl offers much to savour and ponder - she explains what all faiths share and how we can work together to make a better world. And she reminds us that "Judaism is not just something you're given. It's something you choose." This memoir makes me proud to "choose" my Judaism over and over.
Heart of a Stranger is the gift that the world needs right now. None of my words could possibly do justice to the beautiful prose and deeply thought out ideas that Rabbi Angela Buchdahl sets out in her memoir. The book traces her time as an Asian American Jew in Tacoma Washington through to her role leading Central Synagogue in Manhattan.
Along the way, Buchdahl faces prejudice within and outside the Jewish community - for being a Jew of colour, for growing up as a Jew in a new-Jewish community, for being born to a Korean American mother when most Jews trace lineage matrilineally not patrilineally, for being a woman daring to dream she can lead a congregation while raising her children, for not being "Jewish" enough during her cantorial and rabbinical studies. And if those spiritual tests were not enough, Buchdahl is party to a terrifying role in a hostage situation, must learn to lead her congregation through prayers and life cycle events during the global pandemic, and has to offer her congregation comfort and wisdom in the face of the upheaval caused to the Jewish community and the world as a result of the October 7 2023 massacre.
Rabbi Buchdahl offers much to savour and ponder - she explains what all faiths share and how we can work together to make a better world. And she reminds us that "Judaism is not just something you're given. It's something you choose." This memoir makes me proud to "choose" my Judaism over and over.
November 25, 2025
This book recounts Rabbi Buchdahl's "unlikely story" with grace—and Torah insights at the conclusion of each chapter. It's a personal/familial history as well as a chronicle of social and cultural changes over the last quarter of the 20th century and the first quarter of this one.
December 20, 2025
Refreshing. Beautiful. Hearing the first Asian American Woman Rabbi speak about Faith and Community. It is inspiring. She was always striving for a feeling of belonging since her mother was from Korea and Buddhist and her Father was an American Jew. Her parents met, married, and lived in Korea, where Angela and her sister were born. Several years later, her mother thinks it’s best they move to the United States since children of a Korean and American were looked down upon. Yet, Angela always felt a deep infinitely to Judaism and identified as a Jew her entire life. So, began her journey.
She has such a wonderful way of looking at the world and her role in it and as a Rabbi. There is not one religion, one idea, one way that is exclusively right. She conveys the meaning of being a Reformed Jewish Rabbi, yet acknowledging this role is always a work in progress. She makes mistakes, she thinks ideas of tradition and change through, she challenges the status quo, and thinks the goal is to always put others first. She is a humble person, serving to the best of her abilities.
Originally, heard Angela Buchdahl speak about this book on Buzz Books Non-Fiction Segment. Idea that being one, means we are all collectively part of the world and inter-connected. Instead, of making you feel alone, it reminds you of how you matter as each and every creature does as well.
Love: Think about True Patience. It’s Noticing who might be carrying a burden and taking some of the weight. We Remind them that they are not sitting alone on the Bench.
The World needs more people like Pastor Angela Buchdahl. I loved reading this book and learned so much about perspective and taking a strong, yet gentle approach. It changed my heart.
Thank you NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books for granting me a copy of this book. I always leave reviews of books I read.
She has such a wonderful way of looking at the world and her role in it and as a Rabbi. There is not one religion, one idea, one way that is exclusively right. She conveys the meaning of being a Reformed Jewish Rabbi, yet acknowledging this role is always a work in progress. She makes mistakes, she thinks ideas of tradition and change through, she challenges the status quo, and thinks the goal is to always put others first. She is a humble person, serving to the best of her abilities.
Originally, heard Angela Buchdahl speak about this book on Buzz Books Non-Fiction Segment. Idea that being one, means we are all collectively part of the world and inter-connected. Instead, of making you feel alone, it reminds you of how you matter as each and every creature does as well.
Love: Think about True Patience. It’s Noticing who might be carrying a burden and taking some of the weight. We Remind them that they are not sitting alone on the Bench.
The World needs more people like Pastor Angela Buchdahl. I loved reading this book and learned so much about perspective and taking a strong, yet gentle approach. It changed my heart.
Thank you NetGalley and Pamela Dorman Books for granting me a copy of this book. I always leave reviews of books I read.
November 1, 2025
I had the pleasure of hearing Rabbi Buchdahl speak at the Weitzman center with a couple friends of mine. She was incandescent. Just extraordinary.
I got a free copy of her book with my ticket, but wanted to hear her narration of her own memoir. I’m so glad I chose to listen to her telling of her story. Her speaking voice matches her singing voice in power and resonance. I was deeply moved by her story of continuous search for belonging and her refusal to abandon any facet of her identity. I learned more about Judaism from reading this book, but I also learned about grace and holding space for nuance. I have seen lately some vicious attacks against Rabbi Buchdahl online by Jews, and it deeply saddens me. Attacks from antisemites are one thing but attacks from within our community are difficult to process and understand. I think what I admire most about Rabbi Buchdahl is her transcendent resilience.
Thank you Rabbi Buchdahl for your resonant leadership in this crazy world. Our community is so lucky to have your voice/ singing and speaking :). I truly believe Angela Buchdahl is one of the most relevant and important spiritual leaders of our time and feel grateful to be here now to bear witness.
I got a free copy of her book with my ticket, but wanted to hear her narration of her own memoir. I’m so glad I chose to listen to her telling of her story. Her speaking voice matches her singing voice in power and resonance. I was deeply moved by her story of continuous search for belonging and her refusal to abandon any facet of her identity. I learned more about Judaism from reading this book, but I also learned about grace and holding space for nuance. I have seen lately some vicious attacks against Rabbi Buchdahl online by Jews, and it deeply saddens me. Attacks from antisemites are one thing but attacks from within our community are difficult to process and understand. I think what I admire most about Rabbi Buchdahl is her transcendent resilience.
Thank you Rabbi Buchdahl for your resonant leadership in this crazy world. Our community is so lucky to have your voice/ singing and speaking :). I truly believe Angela Buchdahl is one of the most relevant and important spiritual leaders of our time and feel grateful to be here now to bear witness.
October 21, 2025
An incredible book start to finish!
November 25, 2025
Heart of a stranger, soul of a family
When you feel like a stranger, open your arms and share who you are. As Rabbi Angela Buchdahl tells her story, she welcomes us into her world. We sample the sounds, sights, and flavors of growing up in Seoul, Korea and Tacoma, Washington. We meet Rabbi’s family; they become our own. We become one with Mt. Rainier as her Korean Buddhist mother taught her to do when she first climbed it with her family and gazed with awe at the stunning scenery surrounding and below. This early lesson in one people, one world, resonates throughout the book. It is one of the most important truths we can actualize today.
Each chapter alternates with an interwoven lesson in a “middah”(Jewish core value), concept, or building-block. Each lesson reflects, and braids, Rabbi Buchdahl’s experience to Torah and Talmud. This unique bond bears crystalline relevance; yet each lesson is taught with such clarity that I’ve put *Heart of a Stranger* on my recommended reading list for my conversion students.
To be a Jew is to span more than one truth at a time. Tears sprang to my eyes when Rabbi Buchdahl told of her European Ashkenazic father saying to her, “You are one hundred per cent Korean. You are one hundred per cent Jewish. And you are one hundred per cent American.” My late former husband and I constantly said this to our Seoul-born son after we adopted him. If Harry Shuchat-Marx, né Gim YeDam, cracks just one more book in his life (may it be long and happy!), I hope he picks *Heart of a Stranger,*
When you feel like a stranger, open your arms and share who you are. As Rabbi Angela Buchdahl tells her story, she welcomes us into her world. We sample the sounds, sights, and flavors of growing up in Seoul, Korea and Tacoma, Washington. We meet Rabbi’s family; they become our own. We become one with Mt. Rainier as her Korean Buddhist mother taught her to do when she first climbed it with her family and gazed with awe at the stunning scenery surrounding and below. This early lesson in one people, one world, resonates throughout the book. It is one of the most important truths we can actualize today.
Each chapter alternates with an interwoven lesson in a “middah”(Jewish core value), concept, or building-block. Each lesson reflects, and braids, Rabbi Buchdahl’s experience to Torah and Talmud. This unique bond bears crystalline relevance; yet each lesson is taught with such clarity that I’ve put *Heart of a Stranger* on my recommended reading list for my conversion students.
To be a Jew is to span more than one truth at a time. Tears sprang to my eyes when Rabbi Buchdahl told of her European Ashkenazic father saying to her, “You are one hundred per cent Korean. You are one hundred per cent Jewish. And you are one hundred per cent American.” My late former husband and I constantly said this to our Seoul-born son after we adopted him. If Harry Shuchat-Marx, né Gim YeDam, cracks just one more book in his life (may it be long and happy!), I hope he picks *Heart of a Stranger,*
October 20, 2025
Rabbi Buchdahl, the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi, gracefully challenges the belief that Jews are a monolith. Indeed, Jews are much more diverse than the spotlight long held by Orthodox men.
Not knowing much about Rabbi Buchdahl, I really enjoyed the way she her interwove her life story with sidebars of ancient texts. Her warm tone and pragmatic worldview felt learned without being sanctimonious, and made clear she's earned every bit of her Rabbinate.
It is especially difficult these days to be a Progressive Zionist, and Rabbi Buchdahl threaded that needle with the compassion and pragmatism we desperately need in this post-October-7th world.
While I have a Jewish day school diploma and Bat Mitzvah certificate, I describe my level of observance as "disappointing my Ashki Egal Conservative mother by not practicing".
That being said, one of the best parts of being an ethnoreligion is celebrating our tribe's accomplishments regardless of affiliation or observance levels. This book is one such celebration, and it both affirmed and challenged me while feeling like a warm welcome home.
I quite obviously recommend this book to fellow MOT, I also suggest this book to anyone wanting to learn about Judaism from a perspective of multicultural otherness.
"Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging" by Angela Buchdahl releases on October 21, 2025.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Effusive thanks to @NetGalley and @VikingBooks for sending this book for review consideration.
All opinions are my own.
Not knowing much about Rabbi Buchdahl, I really enjoyed the way she her interwove her life story with sidebars of ancient texts. Her warm tone and pragmatic worldview felt learned without being sanctimonious, and made clear she's earned every bit of her Rabbinate.
It is especially difficult these days to be a Progressive Zionist, and Rabbi Buchdahl threaded that needle with the compassion and pragmatism we desperately need in this post-October-7th world.
While I have a Jewish day school diploma and Bat Mitzvah certificate, I describe my level of observance as "disappointing my Ashki Egal Conservative mother by not practicing".
That being said, one of the best parts of being an ethnoreligion is celebrating our tribe's accomplishments regardless of affiliation or observance levels. This book is one such celebration, and it both affirmed and challenged me while feeling like a warm welcome home.
I quite obviously recommend this book to fellow MOT, I also suggest this book to anyone wanting to learn about Judaism from a perspective of multicultural otherness.
"Heart of a Stranger: An Unlikely Rabbi's Story of Faith, Identity, and Belonging" by Angela Buchdahl releases on October 21, 2025.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Effusive thanks to @NetGalley and @VikingBooks for sending this book for review consideration.
All opinions are my own.
September 22, 2025
Beautifully written, Angela Buchdahl transcends her thoughts and convictions deep within her heart, mind and soul.
She is a remarkable leader; the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi. With a Buddhist mother from Korea and a Jewish father from Tacoma, Washington, her adventurous journey has shaped her vision.
Angela Buchdahl came to the US at age five and was raised in the beautiful Northwest with picnics at the majestic Mt. Rainier. She played the flute and achieved high marks in high school. With a strong religious background, it opened her mind to becoming a spiritual teacher.
It's not a surprise that she now has a huge following. In the midst of a world full of fear and anger, Angela Buchdahl, has a strong sense of calmness. She said when people are fearful, they should never let this emotion win. It’s a choice; we are always in control of fear. She goes on to say that every one of life’s events have something to teach us. She talks about the power of love, honor, trust and faith. And there’s a great deal more.
Her life has been full of challenges and hopes for a better world for us all. It makes you envious of those who are close by to hear her sermons. Yet, this memoir is awe-inspiring with words that are powerful and unforgettable.
My thanks to Pamela Dorman Books and NetGalley for a copy of this advanced book with an expected release date of October 21, 2025. As always, my opinions are my own.
She is a remarkable leader; the first Asian American to be ordained as a rabbi. With a Buddhist mother from Korea and a Jewish father from Tacoma, Washington, her adventurous journey has shaped her vision.
Angela Buchdahl came to the US at age five and was raised in the beautiful Northwest with picnics at the majestic Mt. Rainier. She played the flute and achieved high marks in high school. With a strong religious background, it opened her mind to becoming a spiritual teacher.
It's not a surprise that she now has a huge following. In the midst of a world full of fear and anger, Angela Buchdahl, has a strong sense of calmness. She said when people are fearful, they should never let this emotion win. It’s a choice; we are always in control of fear. She goes on to say that every one of life’s events have something to teach us. She talks about the power of love, honor, trust and faith. And there’s a great deal more.
Her life has been full of challenges and hopes for a better world for us all. It makes you envious of those who are close by to hear her sermons. Yet, this memoir is awe-inspiring with words that are powerful and unforgettable.
My thanks to Pamela Dorman Books and NetGalley for a copy of this advanced book with an expected release date of October 21, 2025. As always, my opinions are my own.
October 1, 2025
Excellent! I usually avoid rating memoirs because they’re so personal that anything less than five stars feels unfair. But this book is an exception—it genuinely earns its five stars. It is beautifully written and deeply thoughtful, offering not only her unique journey to the Rabbinate but also plenty to reflect on. I highly recommend it.
Thank you to netgalley for providing me with an early release in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Thank you to netgalley for providing me with an early release in exchange for a fair and honest review.
July 15, 2025
Fantastic book! I can't say enough about how Angela Buchahl so beautifully captures the tension of identities and moments in time. Her writing is accessible and beautiful, and I am SO GRATEFUL to have been given this advance uncorrected copy to read. I can't wait for the rest of the world to enjoy it too!
December 19, 2025
Listened to audio as author is also a cantor and sings throughout. Amazing, thought-provoking and while I listened to the audio version, I will purchase the book so I can reread passages. Yes. It was THAT terrific.
March 6, 2026
Angela Buchdahl is the first Asian American rabbi. In this memoir, she recounts the journey from her birth in Seoul Korea to her position as senior rabbi of Central Synagogue in New York City. Each chapter explores a memory or vignette and that is accompanied by a Hebrew word that relates to the story she’s telling. In an era where we are so tempted to divide ourselves, and to “other“ those from whom we differ in some way, Angela points with hope and gratitude to a way of conciliation and repair.
“Knowing the heart of the stranger and the force of that Jewish memory is an ever-present caution against any feeling of superiority, bigotry, or indifference. As Jews, we know what it is to feel vulnerable and powerless. God chose the Jewish people to be archetypal strangers. Why?
So that we would never forget that the person behind the barbed wire, barricade, or checkpoint, that family forced to hide or run, or even the enemy on the other side of a conflict, are all within our circle of empathy. We are mandated by our tradition to remember, protect, and, yes, love the stranger, because that's who we are.
This is what we were Chosen for.”
“Knowing the heart of the stranger and the force of that Jewish memory is an ever-present caution against any feeling of superiority, bigotry, or indifference. As Jews, we know what it is to feel vulnerable and powerless. God chose the Jewish people to be archetypal strangers. Why?
So that we would never forget that the person behind the barbed wire, barricade, or checkpoint, that family forced to hide or run, or even the enemy on the other side of a conflict, are all within our circle of empathy. We are mandated by our tradition to remember, protect, and, yes, love the stranger, because that's who we are.
This is what we were Chosen for.”
January 15, 2026
LOVED this audiobook! I had never heard of Rabbi Buchdahl and I loved hearing her atypical story. I liked the songs that were spruced into the audiobook and I really enjoyed how she talked about reform judaism. I resonated with a lot of her feelings. I am definitely inclined to visit Central Synagogue next time I'm in New York.
March 12, 2026
What a treasure! So much of Rabbi Buchdahl's memoir resonated with my own experience straddling multiple worlds. I loved her storytelling style and how she made her vulnerabilities easier to consider. I was surprised to find that my beliefs aligned with hers in many areas. It really may be as simple as Love One Another.
December 24, 2025
Many people today don’t know that at one time, Jews actively sought out and encouraged conversion to Judaism and were quite successful. Granted, it’s been over 1500 years since then. In 407 the Roman Empire started a trend by making conversion to Judaism punishable by death for the convert and those who welcomed them, an attitude that remained popular in the Christian and Islamic worlds for so long that it became internalized among Jews that while we are commanded to welcome the stranger, they can’t be considered one of us. As an exiled people, our lives and safety depended on being an insular people in the land of others.
This historical necessity runs into the contemporary American melting pot (or mixed salad; choose your metaphor) in the life story of Angela Buchdahl. Born to an Ashkenazi father and a Korean mother who practices Buddhism, she grows up in Tacoma, Washington, her interfaith family welcomed in the small Jewish community and its Reform synagogue. From an early age she has a passion for God and for Judaism and is encouraged by her hometown rabbi to consider becoming a rabbi. Her path is beset by episodes of self-doubt and feelings of not belonging, as the ingrained insularity and traditions, translated into halacha (Jewish law), of the Jewish world at large, interacts with her unique biography. Yet what could be more Jewish than feeling like a stranger?
Becoming the first Asian-American rabbi and first woman to lead Manhattan’s famous Central Synagogue, Buchdahl has had an extraordinarily successful career and a perch from which to now look back and share her journey and the lessons learned. It is for anyone who has ever grappled with feeling like an outsider even while seeming to be on the inside, which is likely most of us.
She writes about her very particular experience being a patrilineal Korean-American Jew sometimes not even accepted as a Jew by people in the Jewish community, and about her widely shared experience of shock and betrayal in the aftermath of the slaughter of October 7, when we discovered that Western liberals/progressives, whom most of us considered ourselves a part of, do not include the Jewish people among the groups of targeted people they are willing to stand up for. These challenges to one’s self-identity hurt, and strike deep.
Following each chapter of her biography she includes a couple pages of d’var Torah related to a theme present in the episode of her life she has just recounted. Rabbi Buchdahl, on the bimah.
This historical necessity runs into the contemporary American melting pot (or mixed salad; choose your metaphor) in the life story of Angela Buchdahl. Born to an Ashkenazi father and a Korean mother who practices Buddhism, she grows up in Tacoma, Washington, her interfaith family welcomed in the small Jewish community and its Reform synagogue. From an early age she has a passion for God and for Judaism and is encouraged by her hometown rabbi to consider becoming a rabbi. Her path is beset by episodes of self-doubt and feelings of not belonging, as the ingrained insularity and traditions, translated into halacha (Jewish law), of the Jewish world at large, interacts with her unique biography. Yet what could be more Jewish than feeling like a stranger?
Becoming the first Asian-American rabbi and first woman to lead Manhattan’s famous Central Synagogue, Buchdahl has had an extraordinarily successful career and a perch from which to now look back and share her journey and the lessons learned. It is for anyone who has ever grappled with feeling like an outsider even while seeming to be on the inside, which is likely most of us.
She writes about her very particular experience being a patrilineal Korean-American Jew sometimes not even accepted as a Jew by people in the Jewish community, and about her widely shared experience of shock and betrayal in the aftermath of the slaughter of October 7, when we discovered that Western liberals/progressives, whom most of us considered ourselves a part of, do not include the Jewish people among the groups of targeted people they are willing to stand up for. These challenges to one’s self-identity hurt, and strike deep.
Following each chapter of her biography she includes a couple pages of d’var Torah related to a theme present in the episode of her life she has just recounted. Rabbi Buchdahl, on the bimah.
October 30, 2025
Quite simply I loved this book. While I was not born in Korea, so much of this book resonated on almost every page. I like her storytelling style and her teaching style. At the end of each chapter she introduces a core concept of Judaism and how it relates.
Rabbi Cantor Angla Buchdahl is not the head of Central Synagogue in New York, one of the largest synagogues in the world. She was an unlikely candidate. Born in Korea to a Korean mother and a Jewish father serving in the US military, she moved to Tacoma, WA when she was five. Always in an inside/outside paradigm, she wrestles with whether others see her as Jewish, or even whether she herself does. What it means to go from Tacoma, a small Jewish community to Yale and then New York. What it means to want to be a rabbi or even if she feels called, how to blend her Korean and Jewish ancestry into her own authentic voice, She addresses some really hard topics (as if those are not enough): what it is like to be a woman in the pulpit, whether women can "have it all," the pandemic, rising anti-semitism, getting a phone call on Shabbat afternoon from a terrorist in TX (I remember that day!) and October 7th. She does all of this with her signature humor and humility.
There is a real reason that this rabbi is always ranked on lists of the top 50 rabbis in the country. Read it and feel good, even if the topic is difficult.
Rabbi Cantor Angla Buchdahl is not the head of Central Synagogue in New York, one of the largest synagogues in the world. She was an unlikely candidate. Born in Korea to a Korean mother and a Jewish father serving in the US military, she moved to Tacoma, WA when she was five. Always in an inside/outside paradigm, she wrestles with whether others see her as Jewish, or even whether she herself does. What it means to go from Tacoma, a small Jewish community to Yale and then New York. What it means to want to be a rabbi or even if she feels called, how to blend her Korean and Jewish ancestry into her own authentic voice, She addresses some really hard topics (as if those are not enough): what it is like to be a woman in the pulpit, whether women can "have it all," the pandemic, rising anti-semitism, getting a phone call on Shabbat afternoon from a terrorist in TX (I remember that day!) and October 7th. She does all of this with her signature humor and humility.
There is a real reason that this rabbi is always ranked on lists of the top 50 rabbis in the country. Read it and feel good, even if the topic is difficult.
November 22, 2025
I LOVED this book - it was wise, thought-provoking, and inspiring. I highly recommend the audiobook which included her lovely singing.
January 5, 2026
I read it for my Temple Book Club and initially I found the book to be simplistic/ formulaic. Rabbi Buchdahl is a celebrity Rabbi; head Rabbi of one of the largest Jewish congregations in the world; her mom is a Korean and she looks Korean. Think about that - being one of the most prominent Rabbis in our country while looking Korean - yes, that is a book unto itself. But if you read this book and give it the attention it deserves, you will thoroughly understand how Rabbi Buchdahl became such an important Rabbi despite not “looking Jewish”. Of greater import, you will be uplifted, educated, and inspired. Rabbi B can tell you what you already know but after she explains it - your old knowledge is expanded, deepened and highlighted. So yes, initially I thought the book was simplistic, but I was wrong. I was reading “wrong”. After I slowed down and gave myself to the book, the book gave me so much in return.
I recommend you read this book. I plan to reread it soon.
I recommend you read this book. I plan to reread it soon.
September 22, 2025
Angela Buchdahl writes Heart of a Stranger; Angela is the child of a Korean/Buddhist mother and a Jewish father. Raised in the US after the age of five near her father’s family gave her exposure to Judaism and a wonderful community. Judaism and the Rabbinate was her life’s calling and she is now the senior Rabbi at Central Synagogue in New York. She also trained as a Cantor and I had no understanding or appreciation of what that meant so I looked up videos of her singing Kol Nidre and it is astoundingly beautiful… go listen… now. The author shares her life journey openly and vulnerably at many points. The challenges faced because she does not appear Jewish and many other situations she found herself in. I picked the book up primarily because I hoped that she would cover rabbinical training in detail however, she does not but the book is so beautiful and I was so glad I had the opportunity to read it.
#HeartOfAStrager #NetGalley
#HeartOfAStrager #NetGalley
November 17, 2025
Anything I write will diminish how much I thought about “Heart of a Stranger”. Inspirational
January 23, 2026
It is hard to describe what a profound effect this book had on me. I was expecting an interesting biography of an out of the ordinary woman who happens to be a Rabbi, I was not expecting to be so spiritually moved by her journey and her perspective on religion in general, but specifically Judaism and being Jewish. This is a book for people who say “who needs religion,” or “I don’t believe in G-d,” as she views religion as a spiritual practice and a living, breathing, evolving thing that can give us a guide how to treat ourselves and others (family, friends, and specifically strangers) in the kindest, most humane and healing way. More of this please!
November 10, 2025
Non-Fiction November '25 - Book 5
A wonderfully written memoir.
As I read, I would think 'I cant wait to review', 'I cant wait to hand it to my library patrons'.
As you read, Rabbi Buchdahl takes you thru moments joy, nervousness, and sadness. You might, like me, even experience anger.
A wonderfully written memoir.
As I read, I would think 'I cant wait to review', 'I cant wait to hand it to my library patrons'.
As you read, Rabbi Buchdahl takes you thru moments joy, nervousness, and sadness. You might, like me, even experience anger.
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