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Adventures of a Confused Childhood #1
Don't Look At Me In That Tone Of Voice!: Memories of a Confused Sixties Childhood
Meet Alex, a thoroughly confused young girl living in 1960's Yorkshire. She spends her days stuck between an overbearing mother who believes she should have been the next Shirley Bassey and a father who’s main ambition in life is to blend into the background and avoid being noticed at all costs. Add to the mix some strange childhood friends, sadistic teachers, haircuts from hell and events that had to be lived to be believed and you can see why life is so confusing for Alex. If you remember sitting in a tin bath in front of the fire, outside toilets in freezing backyards and doing PE in your knickers then this book might bring back a few memories and make you smile. "Our first term at Junior School saw the whole class caught up in a sex scandal. Not that any of us realised it, we were all still as clueless as each other." "We were very excited to be at the City Hall, as for the first time we wouldn't be dancing in our underwear." "Me and Johnny went everywhere together, we were like Forest Gump and Jenny, only with Yorkshire accents" A must read for everyone that ever had to grow up wearing their mother's dubious knitting and enduring humiliating visits from the nit nurse! Volume One : Volume 2 Dont Tell My Mum! available for download now.
260 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 25, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
November 19, 2017
Thanks Alex Cotton to remind my childhood
It's funny, thoughtful and quick read. We think that our children won't come to know what we are doing but Alex told how wrong we are!
I enjoyed this little diary, particularly, the scene of missing specs and the encounter she had with the shopkeeper when she told them about her new family member.
I feel that this book needs reformatting, particularly, on page 162, 165 and 187.
It's funny, thoughtful and quick read. We think that our children won't come to know what we are doing but Alex told how wrong we are!
I enjoyed this little diary, particularly, the scene of missing specs and the encounter she had with the shopkeeper when she told them about her new family member.
I feel that this book needs reformatting, particularly, on page 162, 165 and 187.
July 2, 2022
what memories!
This has to be the funniest book I’ve read for a long time. It is sooo true of that era, and those readers that think it’s far fetched, believe me it isn’t. I was born in the 1950’s and my school life was exactly like Alex described. You daren’t answer back and you did as you were told. There was no compassion in those days, and cheekiness (if you dare be cheeky to the teacher) resulted in either the strap, ruler or blackboard rubber thrown across the classroom without any thought of the damage it may do. Children were seen, and not heard, is the old adage and even though it was a hard life, people had respect for one another, not like the nanny state nowadays. I’m glad o had the experience of an”tough” upbringing, you weren’t wilfully naughty nor did you cheek your elders. Life was innocent and we made our own amusement, had proper home cooked food and played outside. Health & safety would have had a fit in the 60’s but I’m sure we were a damn site healthier running around and playing outside all day instead of sitting in front of a computer screen like nowadays. When I have time I’m going to read all the others in the series. Excellent book for those born pre 70’s.
This has to be the funniest book I’ve read for a long time. It is sooo true of that era, and those readers that think it’s far fetched, believe me it isn’t. I was born in the 1950’s and my school life was exactly like Alex described. You daren’t answer back and you did as you were told. There was no compassion in those days, and cheekiness (if you dare be cheeky to the teacher) resulted in either the strap, ruler or blackboard rubber thrown across the classroom without any thought of the damage it may do. Children were seen, and not heard, is the old adage and even though it was a hard life, people had respect for one another, not like the nanny state nowadays. I’m glad o had the experience of an”tough” upbringing, you weren’t wilfully naughty nor did you cheek your elders. Life was innocent and we made our own amusement, had proper home cooked food and played outside. Health & safety would have had a fit in the 60’s but I’m sure we were a damn site healthier running around and playing outside all day instead of sitting in front of a computer screen like nowadays. When I have time I’m going to read all the others in the series. Excellent book for those born pre 70’s.
June 1, 2014
I'm assuming this is the debut novel from the author from reading her Amazon bio . I was interested to read it as I was born in the same era and am also from Yorkshire. I will say the cover and the title don't do the story justice. With a nicer cover and perhaps a different title it may attract more readers..
This is apparently the true story of the authors life upto the age of 12. I'm surprised she wrote so much about her mother considering she's still alive! I'm also surprised at the authors memory as I have very little memory of things that happened to me age 4! That aside, it was well written. There are very few errors apart from some text being repeated between 58% and 60% (when they are moving home).
I didn't really get a feel of Yorkshire from it but some things reminded me of childhood especially the things that nowadays would not go unnoticed! There are some witty recounts especially concerning haircuts and spectacles!
The book was free so I'm wondering if the author is waiting to see how much interest is generated and whether she will continue telling her story. I would be interested to read about her teenage years!
Good debut.
This is apparently the true story of the authors life upto the age of 12. I'm surprised she wrote so much about her mother considering she's still alive! I'm also surprised at the authors memory as I have very little memory of things that happened to me age 4! That aside, it was well written. There are very few errors apart from some text being repeated between 58% and 60% (when they are moving home).
I didn't really get a feel of Yorkshire from it but some things reminded me of childhood especially the things that nowadays would not go unnoticed! There are some witty recounts especially concerning haircuts and spectacles!
The book was free so I'm wondering if the author is waiting to see how much interest is generated and whether she will continue telling her story. I would be interested to read about her teenage years!
Good debut.
January 20, 2019
A really good book
This is a fun book of how we lived before the cell phones and computers. Where here in Sweden there where only two channels on the TV and all kids was spent the tines outside playing. Even if the Author is a few years older then me and lived in another country it brings back a lot of memories from my own childhood. The writing is fun and made m laugh out loud a couple of times. To all of you that wasn't even born in the late 60's and 70's reas it and found out how we survived and even had a lot of fun playing with each other instead of just talking online and live on social media.
This is a fun book of how we lived before the cell phones and computers. Where here in Sweden there where only two channels on the TV and all kids was spent the tines outside playing. Even if the Author is a few years older then me and lived in another country it brings back a lot of memories from my own childhood. The writing is fun and made m laugh out loud a couple of times. To all of you that wasn't even born in the late 60's and 70's reas it and found out how we survived and even had a lot of fun playing with each other instead of just talking online and live on social media.
April 24, 2019
Weird but amusing
As I read this memoir I couldn’t decide how much was true and how much was for effect. In the end it doesn’t matter, as it reminded me of similar things in my own life while it offered insights into growing up in small town northern England. Worth a look - even if it is sometimes cringeworthy (especially when describing her mother).
As I read this memoir I couldn’t decide how much was true and how much was for effect. In the end it doesn’t matter, as it reminded me of similar things in my own life while it offered insights into growing up in small town northern England. Worth a look - even if it is sometimes cringeworthy (especially when describing her mother).
June 1, 2019
Sixties
It was sometimes funny, sometimes sad but similar to my childhood in the sixties in the US except for the crazy mom. It was fun to read and remember how things have changed. We played on a real surplus army tank in our school park so her steamshovel sounded like fun to me!
It was sometimes funny, sometimes sad but similar to my childhood in the sixties in the US except for the crazy mom. It was fun to read and remember how things have changed. We played on a real surplus army tank in our school park so her steamshovel sounded like fun to me!
June 16, 2022
Hilarious
I can't remember any book that has made me laugh out loud..it's not a book you should read at bedtime when your hubby is trying to sleep..he woke up wanting to know what I was laughing at..Alex Cotton definitely made lemonade from lemons growing up and enchanted us with this delightful book..
I can't remember any book that has made me laugh out loud..it's not a book you should read at bedtime when your hubby is trying to sleep..he woke up wanting to know what I was laughing at..Alex Cotton definitely made lemonade from lemons growing up and enchanted us with this delightful book..
March 2, 2018
Very enjoyable book
Really enjoyed this book. Lovely sense of humour. Bought back memories of the 60's. Interesting to note how things have changed since then (thank heaven in some respects!). Will be reading the rest!
Really enjoyed this book. Lovely sense of humour. Bought back memories of the 60's. Interesting to note how things have changed since then (thank heaven in some respects!). Will be reading the rest!
May 21, 2018
Hilarious and well written
This book is great. I love reading memoirs and this one doesn't disappoint! I'm excited to read the next book in the series and see how her high school years go.
This book is great. I love reading memoirs and this one doesn't disappoint! I'm excited to read the next book in the series and see how her high school years go.
January 8, 2019
Easy reading
What a quick and enjoyable read! This author has a real flair for writing. Feels like you are sitting with a friend who is telling you stories from their childhood. Looking forward to reading the next book.
What a quick and enjoyable read! This author has a real flair for writing. Feels like you are sitting with a friend who is telling you stories from their childhood. Looking forward to reading the next book.
July 11, 2020
You Really Should Do Your Research
There were some amusing tales in this book, but I found them less plausible when the author mentions Multi -Coloured Swap Shop, a programme that didn't actually air until 1976, when the author would have been 16, not around 11 years old.
There were some amusing tales in this book, but I found them less plausible when the author mentions Multi -Coloured Swap Shop, a programme that didn't actually air until 1976, when the author would have been 16, not around 11 years old.
May 11, 2017
Good read
A warm and humorous read that made me laugh out loud on occasions. Full of nostalgia for those of us of a certain age.
A warm and humorous read that made me laugh out loud on occasions. Full of nostalgia for those of us of a certain age.
February 2, 2018
A very funny memoir
Alex has a way with words you just can't help laughing at her stories. Her descriptions of her brother as a toddler learning to speak was priceless.
Alex has a way with words you just can't help laughing at her stories. Her descriptions of her brother as a toddler learning to speak was priceless.
March 31, 2018
Great book, certainly reminded me of my childhood
May 19, 2019
Ejoyable read, interesting story
April 23, 2025
This was quite an amusing read. Easy to get into. The only thing is it would’ve been made better if it had some photos showing things like the haircuts/glasses etc.
September 25, 2016
When I read this book, I laughed so hard I was afraid that my neighbors would hear me gasping for breath and call the ambulance.
I was blown away by this wonderful book although it's just the story of a little girl growing up in northern England in the 1960's with "the lunatics I call my family." Of course, we're all entitled to exaggerate a bit when we talk about our childhoods, but if a tenth of this woman's story is true, I can only assume that Child Protective Services didn't get involved because they were even more nervous about her mother than she was.
This was not your average child abuser, but a fully delusional ego-maniac who was convinced that a talent scout was waiting outside her kitchen window to "discover" her and whisk her away to a life of stardom and glamour. What a relief that would have been to her long-suffering family. Not that her husband was much more in touch with reality, but at least he was good-natured. They spent their leisure time taking long, fast walks. Sometimes being so winded that conversation is impossible is a real social advantage.
Some of the book is of interest because it shows daily life for a working class English family during that period. How things have changed! Today if a school lacked play equipment, it's unlikely that the authorities would come up with the idea of parking a rusted old steam-roller in the middle of the playground for the kids to climb on.
But the main entertainment is the story of the author's first 12 years of coping with a bizarre family and while her material is good it's her handling of it that sets this book apart. This is professional level humorous writing and I'm curious as to its origins. The book itself is not a slick publishing-house effort.
The cover is generic and I found a few typos. Still, it's engrossing and wet-your-pants funny. Perhaps the author developed her writing chops in marketing, public relations, or some other field. Maybe she's just one of those born story-tellers who need no training.Now that she's started telling her story, I hope she'll keep the books coming.
UP-DATE: The author now has a four books and they're all hilarious.
I was blown away by this wonderful book although it's just the story of a little girl growing up in northern England in the 1960's with "the lunatics I call my family." Of course, we're all entitled to exaggerate a bit when we talk about our childhoods, but if a tenth of this woman's story is true, I can only assume that Child Protective Services didn't get involved because they were even more nervous about her mother than she was.
This was not your average child abuser, but a fully delusional ego-maniac who was convinced that a talent scout was waiting outside her kitchen window to "discover" her and whisk her away to a life of stardom and glamour. What a relief that would have been to her long-suffering family. Not that her husband was much more in touch with reality, but at least he was good-natured. They spent their leisure time taking long, fast walks. Sometimes being so winded that conversation is impossible is a real social advantage.
Some of the book is of interest because it shows daily life for a working class English family during that period. How things have changed! Today if a school lacked play equipment, it's unlikely that the authorities would come up with the idea of parking a rusted old steam-roller in the middle of the playground for the kids to climb on.
But the main entertainment is the story of the author's first 12 years of coping with a bizarre family and while her material is good it's her handling of it that sets this book apart. This is professional level humorous writing and I'm curious as to its origins. The book itself is not a slick publishing-house effort.
The cover is generic and I found a few typos. Still, it's engrossing and wet-your-pants funny. Perhaps the author developed her writing chops in marketing, public relations, or some other field. Maybe she's just one of those born story-tellers who need no training.Now that she's started telling her story, I hope she'll keep the books coming.
UP-DATE: The author now has a four books and they're all hilarious.
November 8, 2016
So so
Fairly interesting but the author repeats some things. Her language is often crude and sometimes blasphemous! She has a knack for telling her stories and could be a passable writer if she learned better grammar and dropped the swearing . I could empathise with some of her experiences having been brought up by a totally self-centred, unbalanced mother who did not speak to me for weeks or months because of some imagined slight!
Fairly interesting but the author repeats some things. Her language is often crude and sometimes blasphemous! She has a knack for telling her stories and could be a passable writer if she learned better grammar and dropped the swearing . I could empathise with some of her experiences having been brought up by a totally self-centred, unbalanced mother who did not speak to me for weeks or months because of some imagined slight!
October 20, 2015
Excellent Humerious Read
Very funny and entertaining. I was an American teenager as innocent and naive as was the main character. Although activities and customs differ I remember having so many of the same thoughts and assumptions simply because children were not informed as they are today.
Very funny and entertaining. I was an American teenager as innocent and naive as was the main character. Although activities and customs differ I remember having so many of the same thoughts and assumptions simply because children were not informed as they are today.
September 17, 2016
Laugh out loud!
I loved this book it made me laugh so much. Can't wait for the next installment. The story is so good the reader really thinks they are with her through the years. The part with the department store "beating" had me in kinks!
Really enjoyed it
I loved this book it made me laugh so much. Can't wait for the next installment. The story is so good the reader really thinks they are with her through the years. The part with the department store "beating" had me in kinks!
Really enjoyed it
June 19, 2014
Brilliant. One of the funniest books I have ever read! Highly recommended.
August 5, 2014
I thought that this would be a fun, light-hearted laugh out loud type of book - perfect for the hols, but I found it rather tedious, maybe that's just me. Sorry.
October 10, 2014
A quick and easy read that kept me amused on the train
September 10, 2015
badly written anecdotes only interesting to family members
January 26, 2016
First book on new gadget!
Very funny and poignant, I enjoyed reading this during a quiet evening. I would suggest this book to friends who were kids in the 70's like me!
Very funny and poignant, I enjoyed reading this during a quiet evening. I would suggest this book to friends who were kids in the 70's like me!
March 12, 2016
Witty recollections
Especially funny if you're of a similar age to the author, it brought back many childhood memories.
Particularly the click clack toy
Especially funny if you're of a similar age to the author, it brought back many childhood memories.
Particularly the click clack toy
September 5, 2016
Absolutely hilarious
I could really relate to the story some parts where so funny I was laughing really loudly, real feel good light reading.
I could really relate to the story some parts where so funny I was laughing really loudly, real feel good light reading.
September 24, 2016
I have cried laughing reading this. I was nodding throughout recognising so much of my own childhood. Anyone born in the 1960's needs to read this. On with book two now!
December 9, 2016
That was fun!
Such a sweet, funny book. I truly enjoyed the adventures, mishaps and triumphs of our young heroine. Great quick read for a lazy rainy afternoon.
Such a sweet, funny book. I truly enjoyed the adventures, mishaps and triumphs of our young heroine. Great quick read for a lazy rainy afternoon.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews