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TRAPS OF OUR OWN DESIGN
A long-term relationship. A lucrative job at a premier Silicon Valley company.
Stock options. A beautiful home.
Killian Koehler has everything a forty-year-old gay man should want in 2000 … except his partner, Erik, has become distant and disinterested in sex … he’s exhausted by his job’s endless stress … and life in San José seems repetitive, bland, and disappointing.
Rod Callaway, also forty, is similarly successful. He’s a proud Marine veteran, part-owner of a well-regarded construction company, and partners with Jase, widely considered the handsomest gay man in town. But Rod’s heavy drinking and frequent anger barely mask his underlying torment.
Killian and Rod are neighbors. For years, they were friendly, but never more than acquaintances. Odd circumstances result in a slapdash sexual encounter, which occurs at turning points in their lives. Killian has decided to leave his job and partner and start life over in Palm Springs. Rod has accepted Jase won’t return after deserting him for another man. They begin a clandestine affair, which doesn’t remain a secret for long. Their passionate sex leads to intimate conversations during which they share long-buried secrets.
As Killian attempts to execute a velvet divorce with uncooperative Erik, his friendship with Delores, his lesbian neighbor, deepens. His playful connection with Malik, a former employee, usually includes sharing a bed. His sessions with his therapist, Dr. D’Andrea Tate, become difficult as he wrestles with the consequences of his weighty decisions.
Rod restarts his life as a single man, focusing on his work and home. His long-time friendship with Ricky reignites sexually, and Ricky hopes he might finally have a shot at becoming Rod’s partner. Rod likes Ricky, but finds himself drawn to Killian. He experiences the intense emotions he sidestepped in his previous relationships. His unspoken wish is for himself and Killian to become partners, despite Killian’s plans to the contrary.
Will Rod reveal his feelings and attempt to pursue the relationship he craves? Can Killian leave behind his friendships with Delores and Malik? Will he resist his attraction to Rod and strike out on his own in Palm Springs? Traps of Our Own Design follows Killian and Rod over the course of a year. Their entry into middle age coincides with their emergence into a world no longer haunted by the specter of AIDS.
Stock options. A beautiful home.
Killian Koehler has everything a forty-year-old gay man should want in 2000 … except his partner, Erik, has become distant and disinterested in sex … he’s exhausted by his job’s endless stress … and life in San José seems repetitive, bland, and disappointing.
Rod Callaway, also forty, is similarly successful. He’s a proud Marine veteran, part-owner of a well-regarded construction company, and partners with Jase, widely considered the handsomest gay man in town. But Rod’s heavy drinking and frequent anger barely mask his underlying torment.
Killian and Rod are neighbors. For years, they were friendly, but never more than acquaintances. Odd circumstances result in a slapdash sexual encounter, which occurs at turning points in their lives. Killian has decided to leave his job and partner and start life over in Palm Springs. Rod has accepted Jase won’t return after deserting him for another man. They begin a clandestine affair, which doesn’t remain a secret for long. Their passionate sex leads to intimate conversations during which they share long-buried secrets.
As Killian attempts to execute a velvet divorce with uncooperative Erik, his friendship with Delores, his lesbian neighbor, deepens. His playful connection with Malik, a former employee, usually includes sharing a bed. His sessions with his therapist, Dr. D’Andrea Tate, become difficult as he wrestles with the consequences of his weighty decisions.
Rod restarts his life as a single man, focusing on his work and home. His long-time friendship with Ricky reignites sexually, and Ricky hopes he might finally have a shot at becoming Rod’s partner. Rod likes Ricky, but finds himself drawn to Killian. He experiences the intense emotions he sidestepped in his previous relationships. His unspoken wish is for himself and Killian to become partners, despite Killian’s plans to the contrary.
Will Rod reveal his feelings and attempt to pursue the relationship he craves? Can Killian leave behind his friendships with Delores and Malik? Will he resist his attraction to Rod and strike out on his own in Palm Springs? Traps of Our Own Design follows Killian and Rod over the course of a year. Their entry into middle age coincides with their emergence into a world no longer haunted by the specter of AIDS.
377 pages, Paperback
Published January 20, 2025
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