0 ⭑ - I read this one time too many
This seemed a lot more like a YA book than a New Adult book, which is totally fine, there's nothing wrong with that. What is wrong, however, is the way certain topics were addressed and approached.
WARNING - SPOILERS AHEAD
The hoe-shaming was unbelievable. Lexi just kept coming at other girls in her head (never too brave to say it out loud, huh?) and constantly called them 'hoes' as an insult, yet she has no issue that her main love interest sleeps around too, if not more. Sure, it's fine when he does it, because he is THE RAVEN , isn't he? Legendary, good-looking guy who gets praised for his ever-rising body count. And yeah, she calls him a 'manwhore' once, but she didn't actually mean it derogatively. Anyway, she then goes off about how she is better than those 'hoes' and their 'silicone' boobs, because someone forbid you make choices about your body that people like Lexi don't approve about. Oh no, what would I ever do without Lexi's acceptance?
From all of that rambling, I reckon you know by now that I found the protagonist annoying and insufferable; she always tried to make the reader feel sorry for her, but instead, I just found myself wanting to pull out all my hair every time she spoke or thought something (and considering we were in her head the whole narrative, it was a painful experience). Here's a list of a few particular things that irritated me:
1. Every problem in the story could have been solved with communication on Lexi's part. The whole Collin issue wouldn’t have even been an issue if she had just opened that mouth of hers and explained how she felt to the guy. If communication clearly wasn’t possible, then that should have told her the marriage wasn't going to work out. Collin may have been a bit too closed off, but Lexi never tried to really make him understand, and he never showed any dangerous behaviour to suggest he would harm her if she did. She gave up too easily.
2. What a hypocrite. She claims she wants to know about Luke and her roommate's relationship, and keeps expecting to get answers from him, but I never see her jumping to tell him about her worries and secret pinning after Raven. And any confessions on her part to her roommate are almost always nearly dragged out of her, she never goes and starts spilling everything voluntarily.
3. Have I already mentioned the slut-shaming?
4. She was too harsh on Collin. It's definitely true that they should have never been together in the first place and that they were not a suitable match, but he seemed to grow up in a much stricter environment than her and you can see it in his values and moral compass. He wasn't comfortable with being touched, and though maybe it was some underlying problem he was trying to deal with, you should respect him regardless, not push him. No is no. Even if he is your fiancé. Consent is not only for girls to give, it's for everyone to give. Sometimes, the way Lexi approached Collin and demanded physical contact, not only made him uncomfortable, but me too. Whenever she started touching him I just chanted in my head 'stop it, stop it, stop it, leave him alone, stop it'. He had voiced multiple times that he didn't want to do those things, so she shouldn't have forced him to. If you really desire it and can't understand him, then you should find someone else that will make you happy because clearly, neither of you will be content if it's not at the other's expense.
5. Lexi was a virgin, not a nun who spent her entire life secluded in a convent in the 1800s with zero social skills and no interactions with guys. She kept having all these 'dirty' thoughts and insisting she was a grown woman, but if this paragraph doesn't scream kindergarten or primary school crush to you, I don't know what will:
“She quickly traded glances with us and then said, “Well, okay. All I know is that he told Josh he was working with this tutor, which is you,” she pointed at me, “that he really liked. He also said she was very pretty and extremely smart.”
My mouth fell open, and I took a step back. With a hand on my chest, I tried to steady my heavy breathing. “He said that? About me?”
To be honest with you, I picked up this book because it was free, and you know, some free books are really great. I was really hoping that would be the case for this one - disappointment doesn't cover how I'm feeling.