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Silver Haze
Daughter of a Sessions Judge and wife of a Principal of a prestigious college, she had an eventful life and ends up with Dementia and Alzheimer's. Her son has written this narrative describing how women lived and managed in educated families in the 20th Century in North India.
The story starts in the city of Campbellpur, now Attock in Pakistan and goes on to Lahore, Agra and Amritsar before she settled down after marriage in the City of Ludhiana in Punjab
The story starts in the city of Campbellpur, now Attock in Pakistan and goes on to Lahore, Agra and Amritsar before she settled down after marriage in the City of Ludhiana in Punjab
- GenresIndia
250 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 27, 2014
About the author
Pankaj Varma
1 book19 followersPankaj Varma was born in 1953 and attended school in the city of Ludhiana in Punjab. His father was a college professor (later Principal) in Government College, Ludhiana, one of the most prestigious colleges in Punjab. His mother was a college topper from Kinnaird College,Lahore, a top girls college in North India. Varma topped in school and won the National Science Talent Search Scholarship and then went on to get his Masters at the Honours School in Physics at Punjab University Chandigarh, a top ranked University in India. He was selected as a Probationary Officer in State Bank of India and pursued a career in banking for four decades before retiring as a Deputy General Manager. The bank allowed him to develop his creative abilities, particularly during his stints in the bank's in-house training system where he worked in four different stints adding up to over a decade. After retirement in 2013, he has settled down in Panchkula (Chandigarh) with his wife and mother and taken up writing full time. Silver Haze is his first novel based on a fictional recast of his mother's story. He as already working on his second novel.
His wife, Urmi is a Masters in Home Science and has extensive experience of teaching. His elder son and his wife are PhDs in Electronics and are designing computer chips with Intel in US. His younger son and his wife are MBAs working for Royal DSM in Netherlands.
He and his wife love to travel and have extensively traveled over US, Europe and India. They love their morning walks and play Sudoku at the 'Evil' level.
His wife, Urmi is a Masters in Home Science and has extensive experience of teaching. His elder son and his wife are PhDs in Electronics and are designing computer chips with Intel in US. His younger son and his wife are MBAs working for Royal DSM in Netherlands.
He and his wife love to travel and have extensively traveled over US, Europe and India. They love their morning walks and play Sudoku at the 'Evil' level.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
October 14, 2014
Carey Mulligan, an English actress, has been quoted as saying:
"Those with dementia are still people and they still have stories and they still have character and they're all individuals and they're all unique. And they just need to be interacted with on a human level."
Maybe that's what the author, Pankaj Varma, has tried to portray about the Dementia patients in his debut book, Silver Haze. A story so profoundly crafted in the words of a woman who has narrated her whole life story till the point, when the silver haze has turned into a dark fog and she couldn't see anymore beyond the fog.
I'll have to thank the author, Pankaj Varma, a zillion times, for sending me over a copy of his book, in return for an honest and unbiased review.
Firstly, this story is loosely based on the author, Pankaj Varma's mother, who too is a victim of Dementia in her old age.
Before getting wiped out off of all her precious memories and her journey to old age, an old, Dementia-affected patient named Kamala, pens down her life story. She pens down every minute details of her life, since beginning from her childhood, the place where she was born, its history, her friends, leaving that place, college, getting married, kids and finally losing her life before even her husband died. Her words are like so flawless and very simple and you can account each and every incident right in front of your eyes.
From 'GurGaon's' history to Ludhiana to Lahore to Agra, this story takes you on a journey of India's history too beginning from India's independence to the day when stock markets were established. Along with Kamala's life story, we also get a taste of India's road to development and growth right after the British left India. The author has a deep psychological grip on his characters, who are portrayed as multifaceted, flawed and sympathetic human beings, especially, Kamala, who never decided anything about her own life, even in her old age, she never had that kind of control over her own life, what others thought or asked to do, she did that only, as if she had no feelings of her own. I really loved her character, how she stood her ground when she thought she was giving up herself into too much temptation. I liked how she stood her ground that the servants were stealing from them, although nobody believed her. I loved how she used to care for her husband and his parents and her own parents, before even thinking about herself, I really loved how she said "NO" to the wrong things. Everything about her will make you realize that a Dementia victim is not leading their life as vegetables or mentally challenging lives, instead, they have their own control over the mind and in the end they might not have that control at all. I consider them as the truth-telling machine.
Read this book for sure to remain amazed by the author's choice of simplistic words to make this story more and more interesting and captivating.
"Those with dementia are still people and they still have stories and they still have character and they're all individuals and they're all unique. And they just need to be interacted with on a human level."
Maybe that's what the author, Pankaj Varma, has tried to portray about the Dementia patients in his debut book, Silver Haze. A story so profoundly crafted in the words of a woman who has narrated her whole life story till the point, when the silver haze has turned into a dark fog and she couldn't see anymore beyond the fog.
I'll have to thank the author, Pankaj Varma, a zillion times, for sending me over a copy of his book, in return for an honest and unbiased review.
Firstly, this story is loosely based on the author, Pankaj Varma's mother, who too is a victim of Dementia in her old age.
Before getting wiped out off of all her precious memories and her journey to old age, an old, Dementia-affected patient named Kamala, pens down her life story. She pens down every minute details of her life, since beginning from her childhood, the place where she was born, its history, her friends, leaving that place, college, getting married, kids and finally losing her life before even her husband died. Her words are like so flawless and very simple and you can account each and every incident right in front of your eyes.
From 'GurGaon's' history to Ludhiana to Lahore to Agra, this story takes you on a journey of India's history too beginning from India's independence to the day when stock markets were established. Along with Kamala's life story, we also get a taste of India's road to development and growth right after the British left India. The author has a deep psychological grip on his characters, who are portrayed as multifaceted, flawed and sympathetic human beings, especially, Kamala, who never decided anything about her own life, even in her old age, she never had that kind of control over her own life, what others thought or asked to do, she did that only, as if she had no feelings of her own. I really loved her character, how she stood her ground when she thought she was giving up herself into too much temptation. I liked how she stood her ground that the servants were stealing from them, although nobody believed her. I loved how she used to care for her husband and his parents and her own parents, before even thinking about herself, I really loved how she said "NO" to the wrong things. Everything about her will make you realize that a Dementia victim is not leading their life as vegetables or mentally challenging lives, instead, they have their own control over the mind and in the end they might not have that control at all. I consider them as the truth-telling machine.
Read this book for sure to remain amazed by the author's choice of simplistic words to make this story more and more interesting and captivating.
April 1, 2015
So sad but true. Dementia robs people of their memories. Their world becomes hazy with few spots of light for guidance. My mother had suffered from Dementia. She was also blind. She was alone without any light to guide her. She had problems remembering me and my brother.
After Kamala learns that she is beginning to suffer from dementia, she wisely chooses to write down her memories. Her life story before she forgets it all. Her story begins with her as a shy bride about to enter an arranged marriage. Her father asks her if she is happy. She shrugs. She met her future husband once. Why should she be happy? Her father didn't really care if she is happy about the arrangement. This is how Kamala lives her life. She follows whatever the men of the house tell her to do. She was a woman of her times.
Her story takes you through the different stages of her life. She's a good wife and then a good mother.
Troubles enter everyone's lives at some point. What is important is how we deal with our problems.Kamala decides that she doesn't want to be a burden on anyone and resolves to be a good patient. She wants her son to know about her life and to remember her. She is a wise woman.
After Kamala learns that she is beginning to suffer from dementia, she wisely chooses to write down her memories. Her life story before she forgets it all. Her story begins with her as a shy bride about to enter an arranged marriage. Her father asks her if she is happy. She shrugs. She met her future husband once. Why should she be happy? Her father didn't really care if she is happy about the arrangement. This is how Kamala lives her life. She follows whatever the men of the house tell her to do. She was a woman of her times.
Her story takes you through the different stages of her life. She's a good wife and then a good mother.
Troubles enter everyone's lives at some point. What is important is how we deal with our problems.Kamala decides that she doesn't want to be a burden on anyone and resolves to be a good patient. She wants her son to know about her life and to remember her. She is a wise woman.
August 26, 2015
Makes you feel it is written about your own life experiences.
Pankaj Varma has done a brilliant job in re-creating the Partition days. And his description of the behaviour of the dementia state replicated, almost entirely, what I had seen with my own mother. The empathy one feels while reading the book was totally unexpected. Superbly done.
Pankaj Varma has done a brilliant job in re-creating the Partition days. And his description of the behaviour of the dementia state replicated, almost entirely, what I had seen with my own mother. The empathy one feels while reading the book was totally unexpected. Superbly done.
January 20, 2015
Alzheimer's is a very well known disease these days. After so many movies about Alzheimer's and dementia, and so many articles on people living through it and people taking care of such patients, people have a general idea of what the illness is and what to expect from such situations. However, rarely do we look at people suffering from Dementia and see them similar to us. The thinking is always "This won't happen to us"
This book is a patient who is suffering from Alzheimer's and the story is in first person. Through this, you get a feel of the person who is going through the disease in the first person and it totally changes the way you look at this illness and the patients suffering from it.
The story is about a Punjabi old woman who is recently diagnosed with the A-disease. She is shocked and does not know how to deal with it. The people around her, although care a lot for her and want to take care of her through the illness, are not much looking at how she is taking the knowledge of her illness and how she is coping with it. She is on her own in that. That is when she decides not to let the disease take away everything from her. She decides to write about everything around her and thereby keep her memory on papers. That is how the book comes into picture.
Throughout the book, we are introduced to a Punjabi girl, Kamala, who is brought up in a country which has recently got its Independence. The partition is still fresh and since many a Punjabi families had come from Pakistan to India after partition, there is a bitter sweet atmosphere in the book about the incident. In spite of that, Kamala's father, who is a Judge, takes very good care of his children, even girls, and ensures that they get proper education and culture. Those times are when women did not have much freedom and very few of their decisions were actually listened to, forget about taking into consideration.
She speaks about her education, her life with her siblings, her active nature and further her marriage into another joint family. Although her husband was a very caring person, he was also of the patriarchal generation and she was subdued, even having her name changed as her sister in law was her Namesake. The journey onwards is described very sweetly as Kamala, now Neeru, did not particularly hold any grudge against anyone and took life in its flow. She adjusted to the circumstances and gave the family whatever they wanted at the time they wanted it, even children.
The entire book is placed in Kamala aka Neeru's past and only the first few and last few pages talk about her present. However, you tend to like Neeru as a person and really gel well along with her on the journey through her life. There are times when today's generation might feel puzzled as to how the women at those times were so submissive to the family. But the book still plays on the lighter version of it and the submissiveness is only so much so it can easily be accepted and moved on.
Overall, it is a very interesting read. You get a glimpse at the times our grandparents lived and we feel a renowned respect for them. Although there is not much about the A-word throughout the book, but because the character is introduced as a person suffering from it, it does not easily go from the reader's mind and at various times, you see for yourself where the character first started showing signs of it. A nice Indian book with a nice Indian story. Would give it a 3.5 star rating
Source: http://www.shvoong.com/books/novel-no...
This book is a patient who is suffering from Alzheimer's and the story is in first person. Through this, you get a feel of the person who is going through the disease in the first person and it totally changes the way you look at this illness and the patients suffering from it.
The story is about a Punjabi old woman who is recently diagnosed with the A-disease. She is shocked and does not know how to deal with it. The people around her, although care a lot for her and want to take care of her through the illness, are not much looking at how she is taking the knowledge of her illness and how she is coping with it. She is on her own in that. That is when she decides not to let the disease take away everything from her. She decides to write about everything around her and thereby keep her memory on papers. That is how the book comes into picture.
Throughout the book, we are introduced to a Punjabi girl, Kamala, who is brought up in a country which has recently got its Independence. The partition is still fresh and since many a Punjabi families had come from Pakistan to India after partition, there is a bitter sweet atmosphere in the book about the incident. In spite of that, Kamala's father, who is a Judge, takes very good care of his children, even girls, and ensures that they get proper education and culture. Those times are when women did not have much freedom and very few of their decisions were actually listened to, forget about taking into consideration.
She speaks about her education, her life with her siblings, her active nature and further her marriage into another joint family. Although her husband was a very caring person, he was also of the patriarchal generation and she was subdued, even having her name changed as her sister in law was her Namesake. The journey onwards is described very sweetly as Kamala, now Neeru, did not particularly hold any grudge against anyone and took life in its flow. She adjusted to the circumstances and gave the family whatever they wanted at the time they wanted it, even children.
The entire book is placed in Kamala aka Neeru's past and only the first few and last few pages talk about her present. However, you tend to like Neeru as a person and really gel well along with her on the journey through her life. There are times when today's generation might feel puzzled as to how the women at those times were so submissive to the family. But the book still plays on the lighter version of it and the submissiveness is only so much so it can easily be accepted and moved on.
Overall, it is a very interesting read. You get a glimpse at the times our grandparents lived and we feel a renowned respect for them. Although there is not much about the A-word throughout the book, but because the character is introduced as a person suffering from it, it does not easily go from the reader's mind and at various times, you see for yourself where the character first started showing signs of it. A nice Indian book with a nice Indian story. Would give it a 3.5 star rating
Source: http://www.shvoong.com/books/novel-no...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 6, 2015
‘Silver Haze’ is a beautifully written tribute to the life of Pankaj Varma’s mother, Kamali.
Pankaj Varma used Kamali’s notes, the memories of her stories and family folklore to capture her rich and colourful life in India. Instead of seeing her as a frail old woman suffering with a terrible illness, he focused on the positive and inspiring aspects of her life.
The novel begins with Kamali visiting a doctor and receiving the devastating diagnosis that she has Alzheimer’s disease. Although shocked and upset, she also experiences elation when she realises if she starts writing notes she can preserve her memories. We follow her life from childhood to university and learn of her talents and intelligence. The details of her arranged marriage are especially intriguing. When Kamali was taken into her husband’s family her name was changed to Neeru because her sister-in-law had the same name. She adjusts to losing her academic dreams and focuses on raising her children and helping to rear her grandchildren. What makes Kamali’s life story even more compelling is the backdrop of cultural and historical details, such as India’s struggle for independence and Gandhi’s assassination.
Pankaj Varma writes with clarity and honesty. His story is heartfelt and gives readers an opportunity to appreciate his mother’s life and understand the loss he feels.
Pankaj Varma used Kamali’s notes, the memories of her stories and family folklore to capture her rich and colourful life in India. Instead of seeing her as a frail old woman suffering with a terrible illness, he focused on the positive and inspiring aspects of her life.
The novel begins with Kamali visiting a doctor and receiving the devastating diagnosis that she has Alzheimer’s disease. Although shocked and upset, she also experiences elation when she realises if she starts writing notes she can preserve her memories. We follow her life from childhood to university and learn of her talents and intelligence. The details of her arranged marriage are especially intriguing. When Kamali was taken into her husband’s family her name was changed to Neeru because her sister-in-law had the same name. She adjusts to losing her academic dreams and focuses on raising her children and helping to rear her grandchildren. What makes Kamali’s life story even more compelling is the backdrop of cultural and historical details, such as India’s struggle for independence and Gandhi’s assassination.
Pankaj Varma writes with clarity and honesty. His story is heartfelt and gives readers an opportunity to appreciate his mother’s life and understand the loss he feels.
August 15, 2014
The storyline or rather the narration spawns across three generations and covers all the significant events that occur in the life of a woman belonging to a middle class Punjabi family, uprooted during partition and beginning life afresh across the border in India. Educated but at the same time subjected to the prevailing societal norms regarding love, marriage and a patriarchal outlook, ultimately settling down to the joys of parenthood, a family and grandchildren thereafter to the sorrow of separation and increasing feelings of isolation and then to a slow deterioration of mental recall, all are there in the book. The events are so well stitched together through seamless narration that one cannot but laud the author’s felicity with the language and his minute attention to detail. The narration is sensitive and touching. In all, this is a great book that highlights a condition that anyone of us would be susceptible to. Recommended as a must read. Also read
http://subbusg.blogspot.in/2014/08/bo...
http://subbusg.blogspot.in/2014/08/bo...
July 24, 2014
A beautifully told story.
This first novel from Pankaj Varma is loosely based on his mother's story of her life. In 2005 she was diagnosed with dementia and started to write down her story before the memory loss took over completely.
From start to finish I was engrossed in the story of Kamala Puri's life. An extremely well written narrative takes you along her fascinating path through life and gives a real insight into how it was to live in India before, during and after partition.
As someone who travelled through India in the early 1980's I learnt about many aspects of Indian life that I was previously unaware of - this included the process of arranged marriages and all that was involved.
A beautifully told story, bookended by glimpses of the trauma that dementia causes. I would thoroughly recommend this book to anyone wanting to learn more about Indian culture and also the disruptive effects of dementia.
Robert Fear
Author of Fred's Diary 1981
This first novel from Pankaj Varma is loosely based on his mother's story of her life. In 2005 she was diagnosed with dementia and started to write down her story before the memory loss took over completely.
From start to finish I was engrossed in the story of Kamala Puri's life. An extremely well written narrative takes you along her fascinating path through life and gives a real insight into how it was to live in India before, during and after partition.
As someone who travelled through India in the early 1980's I learnt about many aspects of Indian life that I was previously unaware of - this included the process of arranged marriages and all that was involved.
A beautifully told story, bookended by glimpses of the trauma that dementia causes. I would thoroughly recommend this book to anyone wanting to learn more about Indian culture and also the disruptive effects of dementia.
Robert Fear
Author of Fred's Diary 1981
August 16, 2014
I read Silver Haze at the same time as my grandmother. We both enjoyed comparing notes and sharing our favorite parts of the book. This is definitely a book whose appeal crosses generations.
I could not put down the book since I started. Meals have been skipped and sleep has been lost.... a very enjoyable read and straight from the heart
I could not put down the book since I started. Meals have been skipped and sleep has been lost.... a very enjoyable read and straight from the heart
April 3, 2015
A beautifully scripted story of a woman on the verge of dementia recollecting her life's journey.
It was heart touching and poignant story one can relate to.All characters are realistic,the language
Simple yet competent.I wish Mr Varma all the best for his future writings .
It was heart touching and poignant story one can relate to.All characters are realistic,the language
Simple yet competent.I wish Mr Varma all the best for his future writings .
August 7, 2014
Here is my review of the book.
Kindly go the link.
http://storageofmind.blogspot.in/2014...
Kindly go the link.
http://storageofmind.blogspot.in/2014...
January 28, 2019
I remained completely engaged with the main character's experiences both positive and negative and was completely drawn into her experiences and surroundings. I was emotionally invested from the start and found myself wanting to know what was going to happen to this woman who grew up and lived through so much change. I felt a little heartache at the end remembering all her experiences and how she dealt with them and the large life she couldn't remember.
July 31, 2016
When I read the blurb for this book, I was reminded of the book, Flowers for Algernon, in which a retarded man who was subjected to an experimental medical treatment and became a genius, only to discover the treatment was temporary. The story was heart-wreching as we witnessed his gradual return to retardation and the loss of everything that made him so special.
Pankaj Varma's story of his mother has a similar theme. Kamala wants to record her story before her worsening alzheimer's makes it impossible for her to remember. It's a compelling story, and a host of additional elements make this book an amazing delight. I hadn't expected such wonderful insight into the culture and times of a young woman growing up in India. Her family and her education allowed her to attend universities during times when great changes were happening in India, like India's independence from Great Britain, the separation of Pakistan and the civil unrest that surrounded it. Perhaps even more interesting was the insight into the cultural and religious and family customs that shaped her world and her society. Kamala's apprehension about being married to a man she didn't know, hoping that love would come in time. The tight family ties, more intense than we have, that required acceptance and accommodation where we might isolate or avoid.
A well-done story full of gems for anyone interested in a beautiful glimpse into Indian culture and a bitter-sweet story. Thank you, Pankaj Varma, for sharing it with us.
Pankaj Varma's story of his mother has a similar theme. Kamala wants to record her story before her worsening alzheimer's makes it impossible for her to remember. It's a compelling story, and a host of additional elements make this book an amazing delight. I hadn't expected such wonderful insight into the culture and times of a young woman growing up in India. Her family and her education allowed her to attend universities during times when great changes were happening in India, like India's independence from Great Britain, the separation of Pakistan and the civil unrest that surrounded it. Perhaps even more interesting was the insight into the cultural and religious and family customs that shaped her world and her society. Kamala's apprehension about being married to a man she didn't know, hoping that love would come in time. The tight family ties, more intense than we have, that required acceptance and accommodation where we might isolate or avoid.
A well-done story full of gems for anyone interested in a beautiful glimpse into Indian culture and a bitter-sweet story. Thank you, Pankaj Varma, for sharing it with us.
January 9, 2016
When I was in Law School (a few years ago now) I was away from home and remember quite clearly looking forward to the televised program of Paul Scotts Jewel in the Crown each week which relates to the last days of the British Raj in India. Pankaj Varma's wonderful gentle poignant book which covers the period before and after Independence, captured my head and heart in the same way and fueled once again my fascination with India. This, however, is not a political tome from the other side of the coin but rather a thought provoking fascinating insight into the life of a middle class Indian woman whose life spanned the most important time in India's history. What is incredible is how little the political situation impacted upon her everyday life. She was so protected by the men in her family that it left her feeling powerless at times. This book is heart rending and heart warming at the same time, so well written!! I will certainly read this book again, it is that sort of book. There are some films and books one is always happy to experience again and again.
March 23, 2015
I really wanted to enjoy this book and reading the Forward section and the Prologue section had me very interested. I quickly lost interest though. It told the story of a young woman from her childhood to her later married years and into the point of where she develops dementia. The story itself is solid, but it was a bit jumbled. There was so many characters in and out that I got confused because all the names were so similar. I had no idea who was who half the time and so it made it hard to follow the story. So I have to give this one 2 stars simply because it just wasn't an easy read for me....Stormi
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