Keep Your Kids: How to Raise Strong Kids in an Age of Therapeutic Sentimentalism

by Douglas Wilson

What do you want most for your kids?

A good job? A happy marriage? A long and healthy life? Perfect attendance at every holiday? A life without enemies? David and Esther and Job are not impressed. Some of God’s favorite characters offer us a different make your children count.

In this book, the goal for parents is not to keep them forever, but instead, to raise the kind of men and women who know what to do when Goliaths, tyrants, and hurricanes descend. What will your family legacy be?

Genres: Parenting, Christian, Family, Christian Living, Nonfiction, Theology, Cultural

102 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 22, 2025

About the author

I write in order to make the little voices in my head go away. Thus far it hasn't worked.

Reviews

[Joshua Bremerman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would probably rate this as a 3.5 star book. Part of that drop is because of the (acknowledged) repeats from Why Children Matter, Father Hunger, etc. That being said, I think the whether/which distinction from Doug in this work is more evident, and it causes two problems for me:

1. Covenantal Framework: For Doug, you are either a covenant family (aka Presbyterian), or you basically subscribe to the "heathens in diapers" view. David Schrock has an excellent article (https://christoverall.com/article/lon...) that I will not rehash completely, but let me just say that Doug's insistent application of the whether/which distinction completely misses a faithful (and historic) Baptist application of the new covenant to regenerate believers while also urging parents to raise up their children *as Christians* in the Lord.

2. Family Vision: The projected family vision is hordes of children and grandchildren meeting around your table weekly for Sabbath dinners. Do I enjoy that with my own in-laws? Yes. Would I enjoy that with my own kids? Absolutely. I think, however, that the strong family impulses can work against the idea of "keeping our kids," because the family that sends out a zealous, Spirit-filled pioneer missionary, hardly seeing that child for years at a time, has absolutely "kept" their child in my book. I also think the impulse downplays spiritual offspring and the legacy of faith passed down among the family of God (not just my own family) through the ages.

Okay, for the excellent stuff: raising children with community input; explicitly asking other parents and mentors for input on your parenting; the indulgent vs authoritarian parent; parental checking accounts and the garden of "yes" (as usual); sexual decorum discussion.

My opinion: Read Why Children Matter or Father Hunger before this one. Still worth the read and interesting, just not my favorite.

[Caleb M. Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book, and a great addition to Wilson's breadth of work on the family. It felt fresh, accessible, and relevant, with engaging writing and powerful conclusions. Highly recommended.

[jacob van sickle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some wise parenting reminders that are needed in our mushy, therapeutic age.

[Jonathan Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really good book! Convicting at times and very practical. I am teaching on parenting and this book has so much gold I can’t wait to share it.

[Collin Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid Biblical wisdom! Lots of great things in here and incredible writing.

[J. Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Practical and helpful. Possibly my favorite of Pastor Wilson’s works. Minus my quibbles with doctrinal statements such as justification being punctiliar (unless of course he means at baptism), this book was grand.

[Kaitlyn Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

"There are many austencibly christian households where feelings run the show, or where one particular person's feelings run the show. And everybody uses Christian vocabulary to cover up what's happening....say a child is the most emotional one there at the praise and worship time in your Christian school's chapel services. During the extended-cut worship chorus, eyes are closed, and a hand is in the air. Everybody thinks he is worshipping Jesus, but he is actually worshipping a set of feelings that the music generates. And then, when this same child goes off to be a freshman at Leviathan State U, everyone is astonished at how rapidly he loses his faith. Within 3 months, he begins to feel like a girl, and you think, "Man, that was fast. That only took 3 months." But this was not a 3 month job. It took 15 years. Maybe he only recently started feeling like he should be a girl, but his foundational faith actaully hasn't changed. He has been obeying his emotions for a long, long time. Now he's just snipping off the Bible verses."

Doug Wilson
Keep Your Kids, Chapter 3, Empathy and the Clowns

[Sam Stotts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uncomfortable and empowering, as a true parenting book should be.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best parenting book I’ve read.

[Ian Crosby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some very great counsel on parenting in such a way to raise up kids who keep the faith.

If you’re a Baptist parent—as I am—and can get around his new covenant framework, you’ll find this read challenging, inspiring, and helpfully practical.

[Anita Deacon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some review from other books (which I will always benefit from) but also a good bit of new stuff.
Will always read any Wilson parenting book.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent.

And glad to have a print version of a lot of the concepts from the “Foundations for Fathers” CDs that Brit and I basically memorized.

[Maurie Flanagan · Rating 4 out of 5]

anything by douglas wilson is so theologically sound and encouraging. a short read about the importance of fighting the good fight when it comes to our children’s salvation. this book taught me how rich it is to teach our children to LOVE Gods standard, not only to obey it, but want to live inside of Gods will.

[Caleb Levi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve read most of Wilson’s parenting books and, like the rest, this one is very good. Although he wrote this in response to craziness thrown at kids over the last few years, I think grandparents and older saints in the church would be the most to benefit from this book.

[Paul Gebel · Rating 1 out of 5]

All the purple prose of a polemicist... no real thesis or scholarship. Culture-war rants and 'old man yells at clouds' vibes, which fall flat knowing even a bit of Moscow's controversies. Stick with Tripp.

[Ross Hearne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I do not agree with all of Wilson’s comments and doctrines within eschatology. This parenting book is grounded in Deut chapter 6 throughout the whole read. Wilson states: “kids are supposed to grow up in an environment dominated by the word of God. They are to be taught constantly, and their parents are to show them what wholeheartedly loving God looks like.” This is so true. And Wilson puts parents in the drivers seat of responsibility for how they raise their blessings that God has bestowed to them. If parents don’t raise their kids… the world will. Convicting. The chapter on empathy was particularly challenging and pushing as I thought about it more. Fathers, if you read this book. Prepare to be challenged and be prepared to take action for what God has given you. Protect, provide, and lead your family to the cross. Be the example your wife wants to follow, and your children want to imitate. For we live in a broken, sinful, and nasty world that is shouting at children and marriages to embrace their feelings over the word of God.
If the family is going to raise kids biblically. Feelings and wants cannot come before our needs. And our need is Christ in all things, and the word to be at the center of everything.

[Victoria Potter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so thankful for Doug Wilson. His exposition on parenting in these days is gentle, guiding, and sound. More than any of his others, this one hit the nail on the head. I am walking away with a renewed sense of awe for the Glory of God and His design. Having just finished the last pages of this book, and as a mother of a toddler myself, I was moved to tears at the reminder that we have one, Christ Jesus, who alone is the provider of all wisdom and all harmony. This is a needed book for this generation of parents.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, but…good stuff stacked on good stuff. I mentally put this under the category of “easily consumable introduction to Biblical parenting” that I would readily recommend/pass along to newbies, non-readers and parental-adjacents (i.e. in-laws who don’t quite understand why you aren’t just doing what they did with their kids)—especially in the audiobook form, which makes it even easier to consume for those who don’t often read.

[Bethany Roseberry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book about parenting. Doug and I different theologically on some points but I appreciate his ability to speak the truth and not be afraid to offend those of us who need to be offended by God's word. I really appreciated the chapters on Loving the Standard, Child Discipline in Community, and Sexual Decorum in the Household.

[Veronica Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent read. If you’re only going to read one Wilson book on parenting, this should be it. A great summation of everything that’s come before with extra insights that reflect many years of seeking wisdom, parenting, and pastoral work.

[Rebecca Esmond · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great, encouraging read - thankful Pastor Wilson just keeps writing more wisdom for us!

[Rebecca Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

(Audiobook). I’ve read/listened to so much of Doug’s stuff on parenting that this was not mind-blowing. But still just so solid, always!

[Rusten · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent as usual

[Kelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to on a road trip. Plenty of good practical advice for raising kids with the hope of them loving the Lord and creating a strong family culture.

[Chloe Fontana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Convicting and encouraging. Doug does an excellent job of pointing parents to Christ and His grace as we seek to raise our children in the Lord.

[Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Not a re-hash of other DW books on child-rearing, but a timely addition interacting with the madness that parents in 2024 are dealing with.

[Brad Sarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve heard quite a bit about Douglas Wilson over the years, but I have never actually read one of his books. He’s undeniably sharp-witted, very clear in his writing, and certainly not afraid of controversy—as you might have guessed from the subtitle.

As I prepare to preach a series on family discipleship, I’ve been reading widely on the topic. While Wilson and I may not agree on everything, I found much of what he wrote to be insightful, refreshing, and compelling—especially his emphasis on our role as parents to love and disciple our children with both truth and grace.

Our culture isn’t doing our kids many favors, and it’s crucial for Christian parents to reclaim the responsibility God has entrusted to us: to raise our children as loving, honest followers of Jesus. One chapter that stood out was his discussion on the reality that our kids are sinners—a truth that, if ignored, sets us up for failure as parents. Recognizing this gives us both the grace to love them well and the wisdom to train them in righteousness.

[David Northup · Rating 5 out of 5]

Prescient advice for Christian parents who are raising children. Very worthwhile and helpful and convicting. Full of good advice. Some takeaways have to do with not being too indulgent with your child's sin and also not being too graceless and strict. Remembering our children are born sinners and need discipline (and so are we). But also that Christ died for us in love and our children too so we are to come at all this rooted in love for God and for our children. Also adults need character - and we need to teach our children character. Indulging their feelings or our own only leads to lack of character and trouble. We all mess up- kids and parents- but the grace of God is eternal so we love our children as God loves us. This book has edified me.

[Elissa Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish more authors were able to write with the clarity and conviction of Douglas Wilson. This book gets straight to it without holding back, highlighting how society is not only failing our children but leading them in the opposite direction. The only cure for this is for us as parents to assume full responsibility for our children and to do so in a godly manner. This book left me encouraged and challenged which is exactly what a parenting book should do. I know I will be reading this again to cement the wisdom this book contains.

[Alysa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good. Some of what is said was laid out in Why Children Matter, so it wasn’t as impactful for me. It was encouraging nonetheless. Portions of it did nail down some of my current struggles, which I greatly appreciated. The last chapter “Love Can Be Taught” was my favorite. It was gospel saturated and the perfect send off to continue to raise the children God gives with joy and complete reliance on Christ.