Fifty-one year old Vivian is struggling with the menopause, a messy divorce and the death of her father. The only light in her life is her eleven year old son, Jake.
Alone and isolated, she spends her nights battling insomnia. Hoping to be reminded of better times, Vivian reads her old journals and discovers a long-forgotten comment by Jake.
'I'm only going to live 'til I'm twelve.'
His morbid prophecy torments Vivian and she vows to do all she can to ensure her son reaches his twelfth birthday. With only forty-one days to go, everything is a potential threat. As her paranoia escalates, will Vivian's efforts save him or will she be the reason his prophecy is fulfilled?
Set on the Isle of Sheppey, this poignant and haunting novel shines a light on the links between the menopause, mental health and the challenges of parenting.
I initially was not sure I would enjoy this book since it isn't aimed at me, though as I read on, I found certain things relatable. I'm not a mother, but the main characters' anxieties felt so real.
As the book progresses, you go from feeling immense sympathy for Vivian to distrust and dislike. And by the end, I wasn't sure what I felt about her. Witnissing Vivian slowly going insane was so fun but scary how little anyone really tried to help, a real-life portrayal of mental health, and the messed up system.
Cleverly written, making you desperate to turn the page and find out if her sons prophecy is correct.
"If I can exhaust my body, then it will be unable to resist sleep. If only being exhausted was the solution to my problem. I manoeuvre onto my side to relieve the ache now creeping into my right hip. It's always my right hip. I wish my hip was the real problem. My overactive mind is the problem. My head is the problem."
"I focus on the moon, straining toward galaxies I can not see. How insignificant we are in the universe."
"It's a waste of energy. How many people say they wish they'd worried more in life? No one said that ever. The wisdom of the old. It sounds so easy. Dont worry. Yet if everyone wishes they did it less, then it must be inevitable. Why fight it?"
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Sitting and digesting having just finished….not often I shed a tear at an ending but I did…..highly recommended debut novel but not an easy read. All vague so there are no spoilers but I do love a novel through which a huge range of emotions are explored - some of which you only realise you’ve experienced when you reach the end!
really loved this novel! all things mental health, anxieties were so very well portrayed. The writing style was gorgous. I especially loved the scenes about the ocean and fossils and how they blended with her thoughts. I guess the novel was a lot about motherhood and the fears that come with it, which I don't know a lot about, but throughout it was so authentic and I loved to follow the narrative from beginning to end!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The writing was beautiful and evoked a strong sense of place so that I felt fully immersed in the story from start to finish. The themes that were explored resonated strongly with me and the writer kept me guessing the whole way through. Once I started I couldn't put it down!
What a great debut novel. Vivian’s frustration with insomnia and paranoia from an ominous prophecy build page by page to an emotional conclusion. I love the way Kate winds the atmosphere of the Isle of Sheppey into her story telling. Great read. Looking forward to the next one.