Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between

by Victor M. Sweeney

In this unique and thoughtful collection, a young funeral director—also known as “the internet’s favorite mortician” (CNBC)—explores various aspects of death, offering heartfelt and practical insights into how we determine what matters most while we are alive. This evocative book is for fans of Thomas Lynch, Mary Roach, and Caitlin Doughty.

Now Departing explores the science, craft, and mindfulness behind Victor M. Sweeney’s very peculiar skill set. Working in the funeral business since he was eighteen years old, Sweeney astutely shares the powerful and moving lessons of how we can exist and be remembered with intention and meaning.

Each page is filled with reflective observations and true stories from the lives and deaths that Sweeney has come to know through his work in a small Minnesota town. With grace and understanding, he also explores the rituals around preparing and saying goodbye to those we mourn; the love and forgiveness that arises in the face of grief; the universal interplay of walking between the chasm of the mundanity of a required business practice that touches on humanity’s deepest metaphysical realities; and ultimately, how loss gives us the opportunity to focus on and celebrate the elements we have gained.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Death, Audiobook, Essays, Biography Memoir

288 pages, Hardcover

First published October 14, 2025

Reviews

[Sheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thoughtful look at the lifework of a mortician, blending bits of mortuary science with philosophical reflections. A fine memoir for those curious about the processes behind death and final disposition and the compassion, warmth, and grace that go into the work.

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a gem. Sweeney writes about his time as a mortician in a very small Minnesota town. The funeral home where he works services many surrounding communities, but even then, he is all too familiar with the people he has buried and their families. I have always found the work itself so fascinating, but Sweeney brings an extra layer with his charitable work in the community, his connection to the spiritual, how his own family has developed over time, and more. He shares poignant moments from his personal life along with the details of his profession. But this is not just a profession for him--it's a vocation. The job is a lot of work. It's demanding, has strange hours, and requires a lot of paperwork (and muscle strength!) Yet Sweeney says that he can't let it go because of how meaningful it truly is. I highly recommend this quiet yet powerful memoir.

[Sarah Galloway · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not only educational, it’s straight from this man’s heart. Such a lovely book. There’s highs and lows, just like life and death. I highly recommend reading this book.

[Jill Crosby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those “must-read” books that cross your TBR because you like to invest in the works of local authors—-and you find yourself holding a love letter to humanity. This is the book Garrison Keillor or Sinclair Lewis would’ve written if they’d actually had warm feelings about Lake Woebegon or Gopher’s Prairie—what Sweeney does differently is to bring that spark of the shared-humanity to bear in this volume of reflections on town, people, land, family, and their greatest common denominator—-Death. He reports quite matter-of-factly on the skills and demands of his work as a small-town undertaker, folding in lessons about the living and the constancy of memento mori that follows us all.
This book is a cup of hot coffee, the faint smell of your grandpa’s pipe smoke, creaking hardwood floors, and a warm wind on cool grass. Rearrange your weekend plans to include reading this gem.

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

“You can’t have a good funeral with a bad body.”

A truly fascinating peek into your friendly mortuary man and the things that he must do to dead bodies after death to make them presentable. A few of these things I already knew and others, quite frankly, shocked and horrified me. I could have gone my whole life without knowing what mortuary wax was used for. Yikes.

Overall a nice peek into the field of the mortuary arts and into the life of one of the men who has immersed himself in the business of death. His personal stories are both heartfelt and heartbreaking.

“‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’ This line is the single best take on dying I’ve ever heard.” Absolutely! 🤣

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Gallery Books, and @victor.m.sweeney for the complimentary ARC.

[Kirsten Kleven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victor is my hometown funeral director and has cared for many of my loved ones over the last decade. I enjoyed learning more about the funeral industry.

[MKF · Rating 2 out of 5]

Seeing the author refer to old ladies as LOL's is a bit uncomfortable because of the actual meaning.

[Amy Gordon · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was ok! I enjoyed his stories and I feel like I learned a lot but I didn’t find the chapters particularly captivating. But I guess he’s not a writer and embalms bodies for a living so that’s understandable.

[Ann J · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can remember growing up in a small town that when people asked where the funeral home was located, the response was 'near the furniture store' as it was custom for the caskets to be built nearby. Makes sense, doesn't it?
This depiction of a small-town mortician and his dealings with death was quite fascinating in many ways except for a few morbid parts on embalming and casket prep. This topic isn't for everyone - however it's all part of the life cycle.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I picked this up off of the library's new non-fiction shelf, I hadn't looked at who wrote it- it just seemed like an interesting book. When later, I saw the name, I knew that it would be a very thoughtful book. Victor Sweeney writes with utmost compassion and respect about his life as a funeral director in rural Minnesota. There are so many passages in here that are deeply thought provoking, especially the discussion of his best friend Alex, who passed away from suicide. His faith, while not explicitly explored in depth, permeates the book and leads to another view point for those who are Christian. I highly recommend this book as a beautiful, frank, but compassionate view of death, dying, and grief, from someone who encounters it every day.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victor has written a beautiful book that opens his life and experiences. It's not a manual but rather a book written in love to a small town as seen thru someone who shepherds those thru the death of their loved ones. Also it is an opening up of Victor himself and how he views death and his job. There is a rootedness in this book that I appreciate and sense comes from his faith but this is a book that anyone can read and enjoy.

[Stacy Regennitter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such an interesting read! I had never cared to know what the death process was from a mortician’s standpoint but I was intrigued from the start. It was a soft introduction to an often-avoided topic and I would definitely recommend it!

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is such a a good book about a mortician in a small town. It's about death, of course, but so much of it is about life. It goes into just enough detail to learn about embalming and cremation without being overly doom and gloom.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew from the start that this would be an emotional read. Having lost my dad just a few short months ago, still feeling raw, still learning to navigate the depth of grief that loss leaves behind. I needed a book that didn’t shy away from the hard truths—one that looked death square in the face and honoured all that follows those overwhelming moments.

As a hospice worker, I am intimately familiar with the profound beauty that can often be found in death — the quiet grace, the deep humanity, the sacredness of final moments. Sweeney’s book captures all of this and more. He does not flinch from the truths that many prefer to avoid, yet his words are filled with tenderness, wisdom, and an abiding respect for both the living and the dead.

This book is a rare gift: a companion through mourning, a testament to the strength we carry through loss, and a moving reminder that even in our most painful moments, beauty endures.

Many thanks to Edelweiss and Gallery Books for providing me with an eARC of Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between prior to its publication.

[Charlotte · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected this to be a different version of Smoke Gets in the Eyes full of interesting stories. There were some really interesting stories, but also SO much navel gazing and waffling and pocket philosophizing.

I really appreciate the attitude he brings to his work, and find it very admirable how he does his best to give people a "good" experience and tries to bill them as little as possible and sometimes less. I give him five stars for that, but unfortunately the book just wasn't as good.

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now Departing was sitting on the “Lucky Day” shelf at my local library, and I’m so glad I grabbed it. I honestly can’t believe how much I loved a book written by a small-town mortician, but here we are.

This book is full of beautiful, funny, and deeply human stories, all told with honesty and heart. Beyond the stories, it offers surprisingly solid life advice about grief, love, and accepting bananas aka charity, (iykyk), that anyone can take something from. It’s thoughtful without being heavy, humorous, and comforting in a way I didn’t expect.

One of my favorite reads of the year, and a reminder that wisdom often comes from the most unexpected places.

[Becky Loader · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an awesome read about a subject I have absolutely no knowledge about--nada, nothing!

Born with cerebral palsy, Sweeney is a go-getter and over-achiever who lets nothing get in his way. Interested in being a priest as a youth, he realized he didn't want to miss having a family. So, when he got to know a local mortician who talked about dealing with families coping with death and dying, he found a new path to follow.

I have a whole new viewpoint about the funeral business.

[Elyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read a lot about the funeral industry and was captivated by both the cover and the title. The stories were heartbreaking, hopeful, and steeped in his love for his vocation. Personally, I liked the chapters on writing obituaries and the importance of headstones. There, however, were a few typos/printing errors that should have been caught by the editor, making this a lower rating.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

The last person you need is a mortician.

Jokes aside, this behind the scenes look at the life of a mortician and his craft was a humbling and captivating reading experience. Victor’s tenderness toward families walking through death was admirable. I was inspired by his insight into what a grieving family needs. Under the surface of the nitty-gritty details about embalming and cremating, I recognized a kind man who is clearly in this line of work for good reason. Though he seems to have religious beliefs of his own, Victor is wishy-washy about what actually happens after death. However, I recognize that he was not writing a theology work, so I can see why he left those elements in the background. Reading this after experiencing a death in my own family made the experience more vivid than it might have been otherwise, but I would recommend this book to anyone. It is detailed without being gory and honest about how people handle death in different ways. In a way few other things could, it may help you consider the earthly and heavenly aspects of death before it comes for you.

[Marti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and kind.

Borrowed on Libby.
Listening length six hr 50 min

[Jissel · Rating 5 out of 5]

such a good read, and I just wish I could tell Victor what an inspiration he is. I am a mortuary science student and I can’t wait to be someone like Victor in the future.

[Brendan Rowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

To write a book about a topic that many find to be depressing, this was refreshing and I felt optimistic coming out of it. Highly recommend this to anyone

[Hailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh. This book was okay. It follows the career of a mortician/embalmer. The stories were told well and with truth. I thought it was going to be more educational but it's definitely more of a memoir. It was hard to pick up some days and the story was slow at points.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the arc.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Over the years, I have read several memoirs from funeral directors, coronors, and others in the death industry, this one comes from a younger man in a small town who found the trade almost by happenstance (or perhaps kismet). What follows is a unique yet serious look into the world of a small town mortician. Equal parts education and introspection, Sweeney shares his life and his outlook with us. The stories are sad yet heartwarming and while the tales are brief, I found myself connected to the lives the author shared. I wanted to learn more about them and the world they inhabited. If that's not a testament to the author's philosophy, I don't know what is!
My thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the advance reader copy of this title in exchange for my honest review.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Tempted to move to rural Minnesota so that Victor Sweeney could write my obituary. Maybe a side gig would be to meet him for coffee, buy him lunch and for a slight fee … your personal obituary. (Message me with a $.)

Highly recommend Now Departing. Where else will you read about accidentally embalming your finger and finding out the rest of the story?!?!

You can just tell that Victor Sweeney cares immensely about his community and his profession.

Approx 288 pages. Publication date is Oct 14, 2025.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books (publisher) for approving my request to read the advance review copy of Now Departing in exchange for an honest review.

[Steffanie Kamper Culp · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Victor's thoughts. I would compare him to Wendell Berry for his understanding of community and his place in the small town he lives in. just lovely.

[Eve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclosure: I received an advance review copy of Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between from Gallery Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

Trigger Warnings: death, grief, funerary practices, embalming, child death, accidents

Victor M. Sweeney, known by many as “the internet’s favorite mortician,” brings a rare combination of candor, compassion, and humility to Now Departing. I came to this book with a personal history of loss; my father’s death when I was young shaped the way my family honored him, from graveside picnics to my own ongoing practice of documenting and researching forgotten graves. This lifelong interest in how we commemorate the dead made Sweeney’s reflections feel deeply familiar. His respect for both the deceased and those left behind is evident in every story he tells.

Sweeney’s memoir blends practical detail with emotional depth. Drawing from years as a funeral director in rural Minnesota, he writes with an unflinching honesty about the realities of death, yet his words never feel clinical or detached. Instead, he offers space for reflection, often grounding his narratives in small-town intimacy where everyone knows the grieving families personally. Much like Thomas Lynch, whom Sweeney cites as an early influence, he treats death not as a macabre curiosity but as an inevitable part of life that demands tenderness and presence.

What stands out most is the balance Sweeney strikes. He does not avoid the hard truths, but he approaches them with grace, creating a work that is as instructive as it is consoling. The book occasionally moves briskly through anecdotes, leaving me wishing for more detail, yet even in brevity the lessons resonate. His accounts of ritual, memory, and mourning remind us that grief can hold beauty, forgiveness, and even community.

Now Departing will speak to anyone who has wrestled with loss or wondered how to carry themselves in the presence of it. It offers solace without sentimentality, wisdom without pretension, and an abiding reminder that to honor the dead is, ultimately, to honor the living.

[Pollyanna's Pocket Full of Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

First and foremost, like someone mentioned before this is more a combination of personal essays and memoir - in the library I do have this categorized with Bios/Memoirs. SO, if you are looking at this as something purely talking about the process of embalming or what life is like working as a mortician - you will be put off by the personal flairs, stories, etc. that the author writes.

I wouldn't say that I am a religious person - but I do have a best friend who deconstructed and while religion is not a big part of their lives anymore they still hold values for a different denomination. So some of the words used in the book without explanation I was able to go "Hey that's a Christian terminology thing!". This comes up in his discussions of priesthood and discernment out of the vocation, and how Catholicism is important to him and plays a part in how he lives and how he experiences death(I would argue that about 5-8% of the book would mention his religion and how it helps/shapes his views).

If religion puts you off greatly, you may hot potato the book as soon as he mentions religions but consider below:

I expect the above (the authors personal beliefs bleeding through their writing) in any book regarding death and dying. Especially so for a memoir, because when it comes to dealing with death and what happens (or doesn't happen) afterwards everyone has their beliefs or are developing their beliefs that helps them lead their lives not in persistent fear of death/dying. This can be through religion, it can be through science, through philosophy/the humanities, through lived experiences, which means there is no one right way in learning how to cope and live with death to be present in life.

Overall, I enjoyed the book, I enjoyed reading the various stories of people coping or not coping with death and also the tidbits learning about embalming. Preferably I wouldn't want to be embalmed, but that's a preference that both my partner and I share in wanting a more natural decay process after we die.

If people are interested, learning about the history of the start of embalming will give you insight into why people may want to be embalmed! This will also play a part in understanding the language he uses when he discusses embalming people/preparing viewings and consoling the families. Such as 'bringing a person back to how they were before' or the act of reconstructing a face after tragedy.

I give it 4 stars!

[Jennifer Keely · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's been a long time since I've missed a book after I finished reading it, but that was the case with this book. I'd seen a few of the author's videos on YouTube and then learned he'd written this book when he was featured on the podcast, "Constant Wonder." As a mortician in a small town, his stories are fascinating, informative, and often poignant. Mixed in with the descriptions of individual cases are discussions of how he came into his job, and what the day-to-day life of someone in his field is like. He mentioned at the beginning of the book that, in most cases, he'd used the real names of the people in his book. I couldn't help but wonder about the impact of family members of the deceased he'd cared for if they were to read his book. I'm thinking particularly of Sweeney's description of a woman found dead from a gastrointestinal bleed. The author recounted going back to the woman's home after they'd gotten her body because they wanted to save the family the horror of seeing the mess in the house. Yet, the full description was there for them to read later and surely recognize. Though there were many fairly graphic descriptions of what happens to bodies in deathcare, that section was the most bothersome to me. All in all, though, Sweeney's normalization of death and everything that happens to a body afterwards was strangely comforting. He wrote of having grown up wanting to be a priest and his writing is that of someone who feels and thinks very deeply about things. The calm, philosophical tone of the book deviated slightly in the chapter describing his best friend's death. In this chapter, he is still very clearly processing something incredibly painful. His philosophical reflections were interspersed throughout the book. It was only in the last chapter that I found them to be a little tiresome, causing me to skim a bit. It's so odd to say, but this was a comforting read. I wish I lived in the same town as Sweeney as I think he'd be a good friend.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very calm, cozy, lyrical collection of essays about death and undertaking. I haven’t heard of Victor M Sweeney before this as I don’t watch Wired but I’d be interested in checking out his videos now.

I will say that in some cases I believe Sweeney’s very clear debt to The Undertaking and Thomas Lynch’s work as a whole is too obvious- the comparison of a mortician to a farmer is incredibly similar to Lynch’s essay on the similarities between being a poet and being an undertaker, for instance. There’s also a similar chapter on being an inconvenience that echoes Lynch’s own extensive musings on that topic, as well as the same general thoughts on cremation and how Americans are increasingly choosing cremation despite being uncomfortable with basically everything about cremation. That being said, it’s different enough to stand out, and Sweeney has a lot more focus on cemeteries which I like, as a cemetery goer myself.

Part of me is glad I had no idea about Sweeney’s internet presence prior to this, as I’m sure I’d develop lots of preconceived notions about him. Happily, this is the exact kind of funeral-centric nonfiction I enjoy, given that I bounced off everyone’s favorite Caitlin Dougherty for being too California and new-age (perhaps I just am biased against morticians with Goth aesthetics). I confess to being a funeral traditionalist, however. I like burials in cemeteries, funerals with tears, wearing black and wakes, and this book is for my fellow funeral traditionalists. At times, Sweeney dips a bit cringy, and a bit saccharine, but as a whole, the book is lovely and endearing. If you enjoyed this, I highly recommend either The Undertaking or the subsequent 2007 PBS documentary.