How Do You Feel?: One Doctor's Search for Humanity in Medicine

by Jessi Gold

A poignant and thought-provoking memoir following one psychiatrist and four of her patients as they deal with the unspoken mental and physical costs of caring for others—perfect for fans of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and The In-Between.For Dr. Jessi Gold, everything was absolutely fine—until it suddenly wasn’t. As an assistant professor, practicing psychiatrist, university wellness leader, regular media expert, and dedicated friend and family member, Jessi was used to being constantly busy. After all, people—her patients, colleagues, and loved ones—needed her, so who was she to say no to any opportunity to help, be that an extra therapy session, corporate wellness talk, or favor for a friend. She was a doctor, trained to serve, to put the needs of others before her own. But when Jessi is so mentally overwhelmed that she commits an unthinkable error during a patient session, she’s forced to reevaluate everything that the medical system has taught her. While reassessing her own complex relationship to the health-care industry, Jessi begins to examine it through the eyes of some of her healthcare worker patients—a thirty-something resident with OCD, a pregnant nurse suffering from PTSD, an aspiring medical student with crippling test anxiety, and an experienced ER physician who feels completely overwhelmed. In their discussions of burnout, perfectionism, empathy, and the emotional burden of working in health care, and through her own personal therapy sessions, Jessi recognizes that she is not alone in struggling to maintain her humanity, in a field that she chose because of its humanity in the first place. Expertly weaving research expertise with unforgettable stories and raw emotion, How Do You Feel? demonstrates the unbridled capacity that we as humans have for connecting, learning, and growing. At once deeply personal, but also utterly universal, it reminds us all that when caring for others, we first have to remember to care for ourselves.

Genres: Nonfiction, Medical, Memoir, Medicine, Psychology, Health, Mental Health

288 pages, Paperback

Published September 2, 2025

Reviews

[Morgan Levy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is honest and authentic and extremely relatable. The powerful journey of Dr. Gold’s own experiences in therapy in tandem with the stories of her healthcare worker patients paint a powerful picture of our society during and after COVID, what its like to seem mental healthcare, and humanizes this experience. I especially appreciated how this book destigmatizes seeking mental healthcare as a healthcare worker, and the taylor swift references.

Thank you for the advanced reader copy!

[L N G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Jessi Gold is boldly transparent and honest in her book "How Do You Feel." She is brave enough to share some personal and professional experiences as an esteemed psychiatrist who, like many in the medical field, unfortunately struggle with their own mental health challenges.

Dr. Gold does an exceptional job at maintaining the reader's engagement while sprinkling in just the right number of eye-opening statistics about the American healthcare system and how the status quo ultimately leads to physical and/or emotional burn-out, medical errors, as well as the pervasive stigma surrounding seeking mental healthcare as providers who carry the immense weight of caring for our own patients. She gracefully weaves in and out between stories of patients (composites of those who just so happen to be healthcare providers during the height of COVID) and her own experiences, making this read an extremely relatable one to me as a nurse practitioner who often has difficulty admitting when to step back and place my own wellbeing first.

I highly recommend this book to anyone (ESPECIALLY those who care for patients) who may need some encouragement to pause and ask themselves "how do you feel?"

[Michelle Kimber · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book addresses the problems and offers solutions to the subpar Healthcare in the US. I was fascinated by the depth of the writing. I hope to read more from this author. A solid read.

[Jessica Goldberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Important exploration of burnout and stigmatization of mental health in medicine. Appreciated Dr. Gold's vulnerability and candor. Some of the discussion and cited literature felt redundant and overused in light of my medical education experiences, but that's a testament to the shifting medical culture surrounding these topics.

[Elise Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve followed Dr. Gold on social media for a few years now and have found her to be lovely, relatable, and engaging so I was really looking forward to this book. I’m glad to say that it exceeded my expectations. Dr. Gold’s authenticity really shines here and the blend of patient composites & personal narrative really worked for me the way MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE did. My only gripe is that I flew through it and honestly wanted even more of her/her patients’ stories.

Highly recommend to healthcare workers, anyone who loves a healthcare worker, anyone who wants to understand what healthcare workers experienced during the height of COVID, and anyone who has experienced burnout in general.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would describe this book as the poor man’s “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone”. Inherently there is nothing wrong with this book, but everything feels a little off… for example, the patient interactions were a great mode for demonstrating the authors journey with her own experiences of burnout and the state of the healthcare industry. However, they all spoke like robots! Even moments that were supposed to come across as candid felt extremely inauthentic. Another example is her commentary on the healthcare industry itself. Everything was surface level and I felt most people in healthcare would say “well duh”. The psychology portions of the book read similarly. It was like taking Intro to Psych again.

I think this book is intended for healthcare workers, but it seems more tailored towards the general public. Personally, I would recommend Lori Gottlieb for anyone entering the field of counseling or psychology rather than this one. I still think Dr. Gold did a great job of capturing the helplessness of COVID. I would have liked the book to be marketed as a narrative about COVID instead. For the amount of times the pandemic was referenced you would’ve thought it would at least get a mention in the description.

[Katie Guida · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me put some really big feelings into words. Worrying that I’m somehow less human for feeling numb to the pain and tragedy that comes with illness. Being so overworked that i hate the sound of my patients coming through the door. Hating myself even more because I wanted to be the provider who cared when no one else did. Adapting to the system to survive and feeling like an its accomplice. Moral injury. Compartmentalization. The brutal wound of telling someone about your day only for their response to be “I’m sorry”, forcing me into a space to confront the feelings that are easier to avoid. And most importantly: the absolute refusal to give up and dedication to understanding myself and my work as I begin to really enjoy it again. When someone asks how work is going, this book is the answer.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a vulnerable, courageous thing to do…to write a book about how you have struggled, even as you professionally counsel others through their struggles.

I have so many favorite parts from this book but here are a few.
1. Jessi shares many poignant & relatable examples/stories.
2. The “patient composites” seem very real- and like Jessi, I also work with undergraduate and graduate students.
3. She reminds the reader, but gently, about what the world felt like in those early COVID months when there was so much uncertainty, and we were all so isolated, and folks coped in so many different ways.
4. She has somehow “worked in” Taylor Swift, The Giving Tree, Groundhog Day & other pop culture references.

[Lia Swanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book and it still exceeded all my expectations. I have not found something so validating and able to articulate what many of us physicians felt during the COVID pandemic and put our story into words. This was the book I needed to read that I didn’t know I needed. Thank you Dr. Gold for this treasure of a book and for all you do for your patients and others.

[Ming · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recommend this to anyone thinking of going into the medical field. Explores how the culture of medicine affects individuals working in a grueling field. Also asks, “How do we make sure we are taking care of ourselves?” Dr. Gold is honest and thoughtfully writes about the premed mentality and what it takes to become a physician.

[Sky · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so cool! I heard about this book on a podcast and knew I had to read it. I appreciated Dr. Gold’s vulnerability and authenticity. The patient experiences simultaneously confirmed my fears of working in medicine but it also gave me a shining hope that we can improve the system. Honestly a must read for healthcare workers!!!

[Melinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for those of us who work with individuals in the healthcare fields, such as medical students and residents.

Jessi Gold does a great job mixing research and her personal experience as a psychiatrist to educate the reader about mental health and wellness in the healthcare fields.

I coincidentally watched Season 1 of “The Pitt” at the same time I was listening to this audiobook.

[Danielle Teller · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's rare for doctors to open up publicly, and this is an example of a compassionate, thoughtful young physician letting people from the non-medical world have access to the inner world of health providers

[Molly Krager]

This book resonated with me—it not only brought back memories of my own experiences during the pandemic, it also felt all too relevant to the stress and challenges associated with practicing pediatrics in the current political climate. I appreciated Dr. Gold’s authenticity, humor, and heart!

[Veronica Jacobson · Rating 4 out of 5]

if i had read this a year ago........... so nice and validating!!!!! i recommend to all healthcare workers, but especially those with their own mental health struggles.

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the first books I’ve read that really addresses the pandemic and the toll it took on healthcare workers. It certainly made me feel seen and encouraged.

[kbreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

How Do You Feel by Jessi Gold is a poignant and thought-provoking memoir that delves deep into the unspoken mental and physical costs of caring for others. As a therapist, I found Dr. Gold's personal narrative, especially her struggle to recognize her own burnout, to be incredibly relatable and on point. Her experience serves as a powerful reminder of how easily we, as caregivers, can become so overly invested in others that we fail to notice our own decline. This theme resonated deeply with me, reflecting the challenges many of us face in balancing our roles as healers and our own well-being.

Dr. Gold’s transparency around psychotropic medication is another highlight of this work. In a field where such topics can often be controversial, her openness is both refreshing and necessary. She presents these issues with a grace that is often missing in discussions around mental health, offering a nuanced perspective that is invaluable for both professionals and those outside the field.

One of the book’s greatest strengths is its empathy. Throughout the pages, Dr. Gold fosters a sense of grace and acceptance that is not only refreshing but also necessary in a world where mental health is often stigmatized. The stories of the four patients she follows are handled with care, and their struggles are portrayed with an honesty that invites readers to connect with their experiences, regardless of their own background.

However, I do have one critique: Dr. Gold seems to gloss over the fact that therapy is a privilege. For many, accessing therapy is not an option due to financial or other barriers. This omission could have been addressed more explicitly, as it is a reality that significantly impacts the accessibility of mental health care. The process of starting therapy can sometimes feel like finding an angry unicorn—terrifying and incredibly rare.

A quote that deeply resonated with me from the book is: “But being empathetic in a world with so much pain and so much hate sometimes feels unbearable—as if I’m being eaten alive. There’s no clocking out.” This sentiment encapsulates the heavy burden that empathy can carry, especially in a profession where there is no off switch. It reminded me of David Jones’s words: “It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply.” This quote beautifully captures the duality of empathy in the mental health field, where the ability to feel deeply is both our greatest strength and our greatest challenge.

In conclusion, How Do You Feel is a significant contribution to the field of mental health and caregiving. It is a book filled with invaluable insights, empathy, and a raw honesty that will resonate with many. Despite its minor shortcomings, it is a must-read for anyone in the mental health profession or those who care for others in any capacity.

Thank you to NetGalley, Simon Elliot, and Dr. Gold for an ARC in exchange for a review.

[L N G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Jessi Gold is boldly transparent and honest in her book "How Do You Feel." She is brave enough to share some personal and professional experiences as an esteemed psychiatrist who, like many in the medical field, unfortunately struggle with their own mental health challenges.

Dr. Gold does an exceptional job at maintaining the reader's engagement while sprinkling in just the right number of eye-opening statistics about the American healthcare system and how the status quo ultimately leads to physical and/or emotional burn-out, medical errors, as well as the pervasive stigma surrounding seeking mental healthcare as providers who carry the immense weight of caring for our own patients. She gracefully weaves in and out between stories of patients (composites of those who just so happen to be healthcare providers during the height of COVID) and her own experiences, making this read an extremely relatable one to me as a nurse practitioner who often has difficulty admitting when to step back and place my own wellbeing first.

I highly recommend this book to anyone (ESPECIALLY those who care for patients) who may need some encouragement to pause and ask themselves "how do you feel?"

[Dwight · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I have read about caregiver burnout, hands down. You can generalize it beyond that industry. This is also a wonderful insight into the mindset of a therapist running a session. As a therapist myself I identified with the description of thoughts, feelings, and self-doubts she describes about working with patients.

This book is basically master class in creative nonfiction and the use of vulnerability. The author shares deep emotional, history, and fears related to her career, mental health, and therapy. It is hard for anyone to be this open, and particularly for a medical psychiatric professionals who are tasked with helping others going through the same things. This type of openness can save lives.

Dr Gold balances effectively between highlighting systemic problems, largely outside our control, and providing internal solutions that are in our control. Great balance which makes the book not only interesting but useful.

I was fortunate enough to interview Dr Gold about her practice and this book, she is a brilliant and engaging individual with a lot of passion for helping others. I recommend this book to anyone in the healthcare industry, anyone interested in mental health, and anybody with imposter syndrome or burnout feelings.

[Sam Files]

As a healthcare worker I loved reading Jessi's experience as a psychiatrist during COVID and how she learned to care for others and herself. She shares stories from patients that she cared for as well as her own personal counseling sessions. She shares her experience during medical school and residency and how the culture of the healthcare system does not welcome emotions but train us to "suck it up and move on." Jessi is trying to be a voice of change in the system as she shares from her experience as well as counsels' healthcare workers. Loved her honesty and vulnerability throughout the book and as a reader you could relate to many of the people's stories she shares.

Thanks to NetGalley, Simon Elliot, and the author for an ARC in exchange for a review.
This book is set to release on 10/8/2024 and will be a gift to many readers!

[Ika Willis · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was like one of those picture books that you give children to acclimatise them before they have a new experience: Here’s what to expect when you see a psychiatrist, don’t worry, they are competent yet human! I had been expecting something a bit more real, and I found this very smooth presentation quite dull. It was an audiobook so it was slow going: I probably would have got to the end if I was reading in orint, even just to see whether she ever got back to her own story of burnout and depression. Oh, I did like the careful, detailed attention she paid to the experience of doing Telehealth (but I did think it was odd that she talked so much about “eye contact” when to me the weirdest thing about zoom is the lack of alignment between gazes).

[Off Service Book Recs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you every felt personally attacked by a book? This one has me in a chokehold (in a good way!), and I think any pre-med, medical student, resident, or anyone who knows or loves someone who falls into one of these categories should absolutely read this book!

"How Do You Feel" follows the journey of Dr. Jessi Gold and four of her healthcare worker patients as they face the reality of the unspoken physical and mental toll of caring for others. We follow Dr. Gold through her pre-med and medical school journey into her practice, interwoven with her patient experiences and her own observations on her mental and emotional health. As the COVID pandemic rages and asks for increasingly more from physicians and providers who are already stretched to the limit, Dr. Gold reflects on her own observations of burnout, perfectionism, and humanity, and the universal truth that to take care of others, we must first learn to take care of ourselves.

As a fourth-year medical student, I feel like I could have written large portions of this book myself. The incredible pressure students of medicine put on themselves to always do more, to be continually achieving and seeking opportunities, to always appear in control and emotionally stable, and to attach material worth to things they absolutely should not (MCAT score, Boards scores, residency interviews) is palpable, and to have someone who went through the process acknowledge this was a huge "to be known is to be loved" moment for me throughout the book.

I also think Dr. Gold is spot-on regarding her reflections on healthcare workers as a whole being particularly adept at ignoring "airplane rules" - that is, before you can best help others, you must first help yourself. We spend all of our careers - regardless of specialty - validating and encouraging our patients to take care of their own health so they can take care of their families, their jobs, and their communities, usually while on our fourteenth hour of the day, and probably on four hours of sleep, and the third Celsius of the day, at least in my specialty. I really appreciate that Dr. Gold brings up several times in her own therapy sessions examples where she validates this behavior in her own patients, and is surprised when the same validation is turned back on her, because I feel this is EXACTLY how healthcare workers approach their own care, in a big ironic cycle that it seemingly took her years to break out of.

One extra thing I think Dr. Gold did in writing about therapy with this book was really breaking down what care from a psychiatrist looks like, and what medication management along with different therapy modalities can entail, in a way that is really approachable for anyone not in healthcare (or for those who may have had a sub-par psychiatry rotation). I think that even though Millennials and onward are increasingly good about talking about mental health, there is also an ocean of misinformation about what the process looks like, and giving a good glimpse into what someone could expect from talking with a psychiatrist was really well done here.

I could go on forever about how this book made me feel and why I think healthcare workers need to read "How Do You Feel?", but Dr. Gold does a much better job of telling her story than I ever could. I think anyone in healthcare professions, but particularly those who are on the path of doctorate-level medical education, would really benefit from reading or listening to this book. I hope that this book gets added to the lists of "top five books for pre-meds/medical students", as I think it addresses the still-often unspoken realities of mental health as a healthcare worker and can help current and future healthcare workers recognize that they, as much as the patients they love, deserve to be seen, heard, and taken care of as they pursue their educational goals.

[Em · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 'How Do You Feel?', Dr. Jessi Gold shares her personal journey as a psychiatrist during the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic in March 2020. As a busy doctor, teacher, and wellness leader, Dr. Gold understands what it's like to always be on the go. When she makes a mistake she would never make on the job, she comes face to face with just how exhausted she truly is. She shares her personal journey towards self-compassion and more attuned self-care.

Dr. Gold’s story is both personal and relatable, especially for those in healthcare. She opens up about her own mental health struggles, showing that even doctors can feel overwhelmed and how the culture of medicine reinforces a need to disconnect from emotions. Her honesty helps us see the human side of psychiatry. Her transparency helps us see the power in self-disclosure for the right reasons at the right time.

The book also introduces us to some of Dr. Gold’s patients, like a resident with OCD and an ER doctor feeling completely burned out. Through their stories, we learn about the pressures and emotional challenges of working in healthcare. Dr. Gold’s empathy and understanding shine through, showing how these issues affect real people. I enjoyed how much dialogue from actual sessions were included in the storytelling. This made the reading experience both eye-opening and tender-hearted. Dr. Gold has a lot to teach us about patient care and how to talk with our clients about topics that are extremely vulnerable. She teaches us a lot about how to engage in an ongoing self-interrogation with ourselves.

Dr. Gold talks about the medical culture that often makes it hard for professionals to admit they need help. She calls for a kinder, more supportive approach in the medical community. Using humor and pop culture references, she makes these serious topics easier to understand and relate to. Dr. Gold’s discussions with her own therapist, Dr. Miller, highlight the importance of self-care for healthcare providers. She shows that to help others effectively, doctors must also take care of their own mental health. The book ends on a hopeful note, offering practical advice on mental and emotional wellness and reminding us that our feelings are our strength.

‘How Do You Feel?’ is a must-read for anyone interested in mental health, especially those working in the healthcare field. Dr. Gold’s vulnerability and honesty will make many feel understood and supported. Her book is a powerful reminder that to be good caregivers, we must first take care of ourselves. It’s an inspiring message about the power of connection, learning, and growth.

[Behrooz Parhami · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the unabridged 8-hour audio version of this title (read by Keylor Leigh, Simon & Schuster Audio, 2024).

I was lucky to attend a UCLA Semel Institute book talk by Dr. Gold on October, 17, 2024, and have incorporated my notes from that session in my review. This thought-provoking memoir, whose chapters alternate between patient stories and the doctor's reflections, follows a psychiatrist and four of her patients as they deal with mental and physical tolls of caring for others.

By weaving research with deeply personal stories and raw emotions, Dr. Gold demonstrates the remarkable capacity of us humans for connecting, learning, and growing. She reminds us that when caring for others, we should not forget to care for ourselves.

Dr. Gold began to examine healthcare systems through the eyes of some of her patients working in the healthcare industry. In discussing burnout, perfectionism, empathy, and the emotional burden of their lines of work, and through her own personal therapy sessions, Dr. Gold recognizes that she is not alone in struggling to maintain her humanity, in a field that she chose because of its humanity in the first place.

Healthcare professionals are trained not to disclose too much information about themselves, so it's refreshing to read about Dr. Gold's experiences and personal challenges. The lack of personal connection is worse in other fields of medicine, but it is quite noticeable in psychiatry as well.

Mental healthcare workers feel disempowered because decisions are made by outside factors such as insurance or cost. Empowering mental healthcare workers will go a long way toward improving diagnoses and outcomes. Like other healthcare workers, mental healthcare professionals spend an inordinate amount of time filling out poorly designed forms, which take away time from keeping up-to-date in their field of expertise and giving personal attention to their patients.

The American healthcare system, including mental healthcare, is in urgent need of reforms, and advocates such as Dr. Gold play a big role in bringing about change.

[Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed listening to psychiatrist Dr. Jessi Gold’s How Do You Feel, a memoir about the personal cost of professional caring for others. She shares from her own direct experiences, as well as from four of her patients, who were also professional caregivers in the roles of doctor, nurses, etc., specifically during the height of the pandemic.

There is a massive shortage of mental health providers in the US, and Dr. Gold covers some reasons why. Dr. Gold, as a psychiatrist, seeks therapy from a psychologist. She mentions she chose someone with a Psy.D. and goes on to espouse the number of training hours Psy.D.s would be required to receive, which seems to make her feel more comfortable to be treated by a practitioner who has received X amount of clinical hours of training. As a licensed psychologist with a Ph.D., who trains future psychologists earning both Ph.D.s and Psy.D.s, their internship training hours are typically identical, and highly competitive. After training dozens, I notice absolutely no difference in clinical performance between the types of degrees. We have such a shortage, as I mentioned earlier, that I have to mention this because we don’t need to add in false barriers to treatment. Most practicing psychologists do not have Ph.D.s or Psy.D.s, and typically have a Master’s or Specialist degree, and would have fewer hours of clinical training, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t exceptional psychologists. Making the decision to seek help is hard enough. Please don’t worry about the differences between the type of degrees.

Recommended for readers who have an interest in psychology or psychiatry. It serves as a great reminder that helpers are humans first.

I received a gifted copy.

Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader

[Ina · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her book, Dr. Gold describes the journey of four “composite” patients (with details altered to protect their privacy) and weaves in her own challenges with burnout during the early-mid COVID days. As a healthcare worker myself, the patients feel very realistic and representative of the chaos of that time. As the healthcare system is likely to remain something of a meat grinder indefinitely, the coping strategies, diagnostic tips, and therapeutic humor in Dr. Gold’s book would be helpful for veteran workers as well as those starting out in medicine and other healing professions.
This book is more than just a listicle of 10 Steps to Wellness, and I appreciated the author’s candor in describing her aversion to “meditation or crystals” while acknowledging that they may help others. I also laughed when she listed the ways her healthcare worker patients received encouragement from leadership, including being gifted empty plastic bags and rocks. Her quest is to remain a human being despite such struggles as the overwhelming mismatch between need for mental healthcare and provider availability, deep-rooted stigma toward mental health and framing this difficulty sensitively for activist younger generations, and the crushing list of demands on academic physicians and anyone who seeks to reach a broader audience while preserving time for a personal life. We healers are drawn to these occupations because of love for fellow humans, but it can be difficult to maintain the empowerment to be human ourselves. In a time when I have to continually remind myself that I am more than a cog in a wheel, this book is a refreshing testimony that I am not alone.

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Simon Element for my gifted copy. My thoughts are my own.

This book recounts a psychiatrist’s journey in being human and in caring for other humans (also caregivers in the health profession) during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown. There was so much to do and there was so much need that—especially for a high-achieving person—it was easy to ignore her own needs. And she wasn’t alone. What do we do when we are losing our ability to see the humanity in others? Especially when that humanity is what motivates us in the first place? And the question doesn’t just apply when in the acute phase of a pandemic, but it extends beyond to the normal mess of life. How do we not lose sight of the heart of caregiving? The author is an empath who feels deeply and struggles with perfectionism (so relatable for me), and the rawness on the account meant that pauses to process and care for myself were necessary. And that was the lesson I took away from this book—taking care of one’s self is necessary. As much as medical professionals and others may have entered their chosen field(s) to help others, there is only so much one can give before one’s own inner resources run out. To borrow the metaphor from the airline safety check: I have to put my own mask on before I can help with someone else’s. Especially if I’m going to retain any semblance of humanity.

Trigger warning: death and suffering from COVID-19, psychological and other suffering by healthcare providers working during the pandemic

[Kaitlyn Ashley ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a mental health provider, this was so relatable. Let alone a younger, female provider, (who has also been seen as "not serious enough"), laden with a history of work obsession, guilt, over thinking and burnout... it hit.

I love the research and citations provided in this, and the emphasis on wellbeing among healthcare workers - a notoriously overlooked population.

There are so many highlights from insightful points as a provider that made me think on a deeper level.

The emotional struggles in her position is more relatable for me than any other memoir I can remember ever reading. I will definitely be recommending to colleagues.

"Healing the healers affects us all."

Small frustrations:
-over explaining EVERYTHING. Initially I was like, well, I'm in mental health, maybe for a different audience this is helpful... but no. You did not have to spell out what CV stands for in parentheses... it feels like you're trying to justify your every thought and sell it to me, but it is just frustrating and overly verbose, taking away from the content.
-the dialogue does not feel authentic at all. Every patient sounds exactly like the narrator... overly agreeable and enthusiastic. Do you just have the most pleasant and amenable patients ever? Who have your exact temperament?
-the medication being "similar to eyeglasses" line is fine, it has some merit, but it is reminiscent of (/exactly the same) line that all of the ADHD/Big Pharma docs used when peddling stimulants and perpetuating that specific epidemic.

[Elise M · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautifully written, honest, funny memoir is a must-read for healthcare workers and for anyone who has struggled to find the balance between caring for others and maintaining their own health.

It offers a peek behind the curtain at the sometimes-toxic but well-intentioned Culture of Medicine where healthcare workers are told to soldier on in the face of trauma, crisis, and death – because there are always more patients to see. Through patient vignettes and stories about her own journey in academic medicine, Dr. Gold explores the boundaries and limits of being “resilient”. As one of her patients asks Dr. Gold, “At what point do you go from being resilient to ignoring your mental and physical health needs?” Even as an expert in burnout, she illustrates from her own story how easy it is to not recognize the signs of burnout or to minimize them.

Dr. Gold acknowledges the many systemic factors that make it hard for people in healthcare to take care of their own health (i.e long shifts with limited “back-up” coverage to attend therapy and/or doctor’s appointments, outdated credentialing/licensure applications that ask about past mental health treatment). And yet, in the end, she offers hope as she and her patients find different ways to pause, reset, heal, and find meaning in their important work. This should be required reading for anyone considering a career in healthcare!

[Michael Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Searching for a brutally honest book about surviving – and thriving – in today’s medical world? Look no further. Jessi Gold’s “How Do You Feel? One Doctor’s Search for Humanity in Medicine” is a manifesto for our fractious times. Dr Gold, a psychiatrist, lifts the curtain on her treatment of four health-professional patients, all with compelling and relatable stories of emotional upset, compromised coping skills, disillusionment, and moral anguish. We see immediately that her clinical expertise is grounded in savvy wisdom and compassion, both palpable, both the bedrock of exemplary care. But there is more, something big, something that captured me from the get-go, and that is Dr Gold’s personal sharing, her lived experience of mounting stress, burnout, and depression. Her humanity shines here, especially when she brings the reader into the room with her while in session with her therapist. Few psychiatrists do this, so this is special. I, for one, was touched – and deeply moved. What a privilege to partake in such naked and unfiltered honesty, such intimacy. I intend to borrow selected passages to highlight the psychotherapy teaching of my psychiatry residents. Brava Dr Gold! Thank you for making us better psychiatrists – and better human beings.
Michael F Myers, MD
New York, NY