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The Kids Who Aren't Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools
From a New York Times bestselling authority on education comes a groundbreaking guide to navigating classroom challenges through an approach that is proactive instead of reactive, collaborative instead of unilateral, and focuses on solving underlying problems rather than punishing the behaviors that are caused by those problems.
Educators have never felt less safe at school and are leaving the profession in droves. There have never been more students with concerning behaviors, and the behaviors are more extreme than ever. And there has never been more pressure—on both kids and educators—to achieve.
Dr. Ross Greene, renowned for his pioneering work in education, observes that a huge part of the problem relates to the practices schools have traditionally used when working with students with concerning behaviors; practices which have become obsolete and counterproductive. Those practices share three common (1) they’re reactive (late) rather than proactive (early); (2) they’re unilateral rather than collaborative; and (3) they’re focused on concerning behaviors (modifying them) rather than the problems that are causing those behaviors (and solving them). For years, we’ve been training educators what to do once students are already escalated; in order to move things in the right direction, we need to be training educators on what to do so students don’t become escalated in the first place. That’s true crisis prevention.
Building on the principles introduced in his landmark, New York Times bestselling book, Lost at School, Greene shows readers how to focus on identifying and solving problems with students, how to be early and collaborative, and how to refine structures and policies in schools to accomplish the mission. He underscores the importance of meeting students where they are and recognizing that concerning behaviors and crises typically arise from unmet expectations and the frustration they provoke. Greene equips educators and caregivers with the tools to foster safer, more inclusive learning environments. In easy-to-understand, practical terms, Greene provides a clear roadmap for turning things around, complete with vignettes, case studies, and the voices of educators who’ve done it. This book offers actionable solutions that can transform the educational experience for all students and their caregivers and shows that real change is possible.
As our current school system navigates unprecedented challenges, this book serves as a vital resource—providing hope and guidance to create a better, more supportive future for students and educators alike.
Educators have never felt less safe at school and are leaving the profession in droves. There have never been more students with concerning behaviors, and the behaviors are more extreme than ever. And there has never been more pressure—on both kids and educators—to achieve.
Dr. Ross Greene, renowned for his pioneering work in education, observes that a huge part of the problem relates to the practices schools have traditionally used when working with students with concerning behaviors; practices which have become obsolete and counterproductive. Those practices share three common (1) they’re reactive (late) rather than proactive (early); (2) they’re unilateral rather than collaborative; and (3) they’re focused on concerning behaviors (modifying them) rather than the problems that are causing those behaviors (and solving them). For years, we’ve been training educators what to do once students are already escalated; in order to move things in the right direction, we need to be training educators on what to do so students don’t become escalated in the first place. That’s true crisis prevention.
Building on the principles introduced in his landmark, New York Times bestselling book, Lost at School, Greene shows readers how to focus on identifying and solving problems with students, how to be early and collaborative, and how to refine structures and policies in schools to accomplish the mission. He underscores the importance of meeting students where they are and recognizing that concerning behaviors and crises typically arise from unmet expectations and the frustration they provoke. Greene equips educators and caregivers with the tools to foster safer, more inclusive learning environments. In easy-to-understand, practical terms, Greene provides a clear roadmap for turning things around, complete with vignettes, case studies, and the voices of educators who’ve done it. This book offers actionable solutions that can transform the educational experience for all students and their caregivers and shows that real change is possible.
As our current school system navigates unprecedented challenges, this book serves as a vital resource—providing hope and guidance to create a better, more supportive future for students and educators alike.
- GenresNonfictionAudiobook
240 pages, Hardcover
Published February 24, 2026
46 people are currently reading
247 people want to read
About the author
Ross W. Greene
13 books237 followersDr. Ross Greene is the New York Times bestselling author of the influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Raising Human Beings, and Lost & Found. He is the originator of the innovative, evidence-based treatment approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) described in these books. The CPS model provides a compassionate, accurate understanding of behavioral challenges and an evidence-based, non-punitive, non-adversarial approach for reducing challenging episodes, solving problems, improving communication, and repairing relationships.
Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance (www.livesinthebalance.org), which provides free, web-based resources on his approach and advocates on behalf of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers. He is also adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology Sydney in Australia. The many research papers documenting the effectiveness of the CPS model can also be found on the Lives in the Balance website. Dr. Greene and his colleagues consult extensively to families, schools, inpatient psychiatry units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, and lecture widely throughout the world (visit www.cpsconnection.com for a complete listing of learning and training options). Dr. Greene has been featured in a wide range of media, including The Oprah Show, Good Morning America, The Morning Show, National Public Radio, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and Mother Jones magazine. He is also Executive Producer of the forthcoming feature-length documentary film The Kids We Lose (www.thekidswelose.com), being produced by Lives in the Balance and filmed by Lone Wolf Media. He lives in Portland, Maine.
Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance (www.livesinthebalance.org), which provides free, web-based resources on his approach and advocates on behalf of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers. He is also adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology Sydney in Australia. The many research papers documenting the effectiveness of the CPS model can also be found on the Lives in the Balance website. Dr. Greene and his colleagues consult extensively to families, schools, inpatient psychiatry units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, and lecture widely throughout the world (visit www.cpsconnection.com for a complete listing of learning and training options). Dr. Greene has been featured in a wide range of media, including The Oprah Show, Good Morning America, The Morning Show, National Public Radio, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and Mother Jones magazine. He is also Executive Producer of the forthcoming feature-length documentary film The Kids We Lose (www.thekidswelose.com), being produced by Lives in the Balance and filmed by Lone Wolf Media. He lives in Portland, Maine.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I have read "The Explosive Child" and "Lost at School" previously, which are referenced in this book, especially the Collaborative & Proactive Solution (CPS) method. It would help to have learned about CPS prior to reading this book, as it is referenced and discussed in later chapters. I often find myself nodding along with Ross Greene when he discusses the challenges that educators and staff face today in schools. I identify with his focus on the fact that many of our techniques and trainings are "late" and more about managing behaviors than looking backward to figure out why behaviors are happening and being proactive in stopping them before they start. There is far less training done to help identify skill deficits and have that process be a part of problem-solving. The Assessment of Skills & Unsolved Problems (ASUP) was designed by Greene to help in this process, and can be found on his website LivesInTheBalance.org.
My biggest struggle with this book and Greene's other suggestions is that most current school systems are not designed for them. He acknowledges that it requires systems changes coming from the top to be effective. These are far from easy tasks and would take years of educators and administrators to work on rewriting how things are done. I could see this being done in smaller settings, such as private schools and specialized programs, but far more difficult in larger settings with various bodies of oversight and competing initiatives. With states and towns focused on test scores and new curricula, it is far less likely that this could or would be prioritized. I left this book thinking that it was more of a "pie in the sky" dream rather than something I could use.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for selecting me to read an advanced copy of this book.
My biggest struggle with this book and Greene's other suggestions is that most current school systems are not designed for them. He acknowledges that it requires systems changes coming from the top to be effective. These are far from easy tasks and would take years of educators and administrators to work on rewriting how things are done. I could see this being done in smaller settings, such as private schools and specialized programs, but far more difficult in larger settings with various bodies of oversight and competing initiatives. With states and towns focused on test scores and new curricula, it is far less likely that this could or would be prioritized. I left this book thinking that it was more of a "pie in the sky" dream rather than something I could use.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for selecting me to read an advanced copy of this book.
March 1, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ System-Focused + Urgent
The Kids Who Aren’t OK by Ross Greene should be read by every educator and policymaker.
Greene argues that many of the behavioral and mental health crises we’re seeing in children aren’t the result of defiance or poor character — they’re the result of lagging skills and systems that rely too heavily on punishment instead of problem-solving.
This book helped me see behavior differently — not as something to control, but as something to understand. The CPS model has brought more calm and connection into our home. We still have hard days (it’s a marathon, not a sprint), but we’re catching things earlier and rebuilding trust instead of escalating conflict.
My biggest question after reading: how do we help schools adopt this more urgently? Because so many kids are not okay — and this feels like a path forward.
The Kids Who Aren’t OK by Ross Greene should be read by every educator and policymaker.
Greene argues that many of the behavioral and mental health crises we’re seeing in children aren’t the result of defiance or poor character — they’re the result of lagging skills and systems that rely too heavily on punishment instead of problem-solving.
This book helped me see behavior differently — not as something to control, but as something to understand. The CPS model has brought more calm and connection into our home. We still have hard days (it’s a marathon, not a sprint), but we’re catching things earlier and rebuilding trust instead of escalating conflict.
My biggest question after reading: how do we help schools adopt this more urgently? Because so many kids are not okay — and this feels like a path forward.
October 29, 2025
** ARC Review **
Ross Greene delivers another vital, insightful book for understanding and helping struggling kids, and it could not be more timely. He expands on his proven Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model with sobering statistics and firsthand accounts, highlighting the urgent need for a more empathetic, skill-based approach in schools. While the book provides an excellent theoretical framework and practical guidance, some readers might find the scope of the problem so large and daunting that actionable steps feel harder to implement in their own specific contexts. Still, this is a compassionate and essential resource for any educator or parent seeking to better support children in today's challenging environment.
Ross Greene delivers another vital, insightful book for understanding and helping struggling kids, and it could not be more timely. He expands on his proven Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model with sobering statistics and firsthand accounts, highlighting the urgent need for a more empathetic, skill-based approach in schools. While the book provides an excellent theoretical framework and practical guidance, some readers might find the scope of the problem so large and daunting that actionable steps feel harder to implement in their own specific contexts. Still, this is a compassionate and essential resource for any educator or parent seeking to better support children in today's challenging environment.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Excellent book about how to help struggling and vulnerable children ❤️
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
A clear and accessible guide to an important model for collaborative problem solving in schools.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews