A Short History of Queer Parenting

by Kirsty Loehr

For most straight couples, starting a family tends to be simple…For queer couples, not so much.

But queer families have always existed – even Sappho, the OG lesbian, had a daughter. She named her Cleis, in honour of vaginas everywhere!

Exploring the historic lives of queer parents like Oscar Wilde and the women of ‘The Golden Orchid Society’ – and guided by her own experience of reciprocal IVF – Kirsty Loehr provides another rollicking guide to the ups and downs of queer parenthood through the ages.

Genres: History, Queer, Nonfiction, LGBT

208 pages, Paperback

Published December 2, 2025

Reviews

[Eden Burrow · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was somehow gonna like show me beautiful examples of some ancient lesbian mommies or something but really it was mostly just stuff from the 70s and on
I think this would be a lot more insightful of a read for either a young gay person or someone who isn’t gay
Also trying to make a joke literally every single sentence got old

[Nat Gildi · Rating 1 out of 5]

Although the content is undoubtedly interesting (but also, it should be noted, UK-USA centric), it proved to be one of the most annoying books I have ever read.
Reads like a long, annoyingly ironic social media content, filled to the brim with personal comments ranging from slightly to extremely inappropriate.
A couple of random examples:

"When asked about how being a lesbian had changed their mother, one child replied: 'She's a lot happier...'
Yeah, I bet she is, we're all happier when we become lesbians, just ask my girlfriend. (I hope her ex-husband doesn't read this... or do I?)"

[While commenting an announcement by Obama that mentioned queer parents in 2009]
"I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it, maybe I'm leaning into the queers-are-too-sensitive or quick-to-anger stereotype. But after years of being 'othered', it's hard not to. Plus, I'm getting towards the end of this book and everyone is just irritating the fuck out of me, even Obama."

Imagine a few lines like this in every. Single. Page. For 186 pages.

[Ailen Garcia]

Arrastré los pies hasta el 42%, pero basta, hasta acá llegué.
No hace un repaso por la historia como dice y sentí la información un poco desordenada, va pinponeando de un lado a otro. Tampoco me gustó el tono; los chistes y la informalidad no estarían mal si fueran más medidos, pero la verdad que es como ver un tiktok de una mina megamilenial que grita mucho.

[Alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars for the representation and the info but… I couldn’t have taken any more page. I need the jokes and informality to get through a non fiction book but at the end it just jarring sorry! I’ll still read the first one that Pearl got us

[Alexandra Darling · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️3.5 stars⭐️

Very informative and good representation! I enjoyed the humour and narration of the first book but (as Alice mentioned) it got too much at the end and just became more about random dialogue than information

[Cheka · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really disappointed with this one! The writer had clearly done her research and could’ve filled the pages with more of the real life stories and history. But instead she doesn’t trust the reader to pay attention or understand so has to fill every second sentence with a jokey comment (I don’t think I’m exaggerating with that proportion).

I think it’s a shame to miss talking about the history and in its place, write some sarcastic little comments (some of which were just poorly timed and really not worth putting in. I don’t think any of them actually even made me smile).

In case the writer reads this, I hope she finds the right audience who want more humour and less factual information, but it’s just not me

[-raven- · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess I REALLY was expecting something much more scientifically oriented than what that book delivered. A nice read but often very catastophysing which can feel anxious when reading. also as a trans man I felt a bit left out but I guess it's because of the lack of proper ressources. 🤷‍♂️

I got it now, it felt like a blog being posted, like come on, such a heavy topic should be delt with more attention and seriousness

[Rachel Ho · Rating 3 out of 5]

As the author puts in her own words: this is but no means a presentation on academic history nor a medical book; rather this book is a retelling largely of her own journey through reciprocal IVF layered with anecdotes of queer parents from predominately the last 50 years (and predominately from the US/UK). I, like many readers, have been turned off by this as I was looking forward to (as the title might suggest) a historical account of non-heteronormative examples of parenthood throughout, well, history. Don’t expect many proper citations (if any), but DO expect many zingers, jabs, and dry humor that Loehr sprinkles throughout her writing (major distractions to the content although admittedly, it kept me engaged and made me laugh more than a handful of times).

With all that being said, I do appreciate the spotlight that Loehr has put onto this topic: not just the biological issues that same sex couples face when seeking parenthood (obviously) but also the mountains of legal battles over the last half-century to fully recognize and endow same-sex parents with the same sorts of legal protections “normal” parents have. We’ve come a long way since the 70s, and the book is a reminder of that fact.

To summarize my thoughts: I’m very glad this book exists, but the writing style and lack of citations turned it from a somewhat funny academic piece to a somewhat acedemic comedic piece.

[Milk · Rating 3 out of 5]

A whistle stop tour of a mostly recent and western history of queer parenting/families. Not a lot of mention of poly families and this is definitely not a thorough history. However, it whets the appetite and the author kindly provides further resource for more serious study into the subject. Kirsty's style is personable and it's an easy, quick read. It's very of the time and some of the jokes are a wee bit cringe but I learnt things and enjoyed bobbing along with Kirsty's narration.

[Amélie · Rating 3 out of 5]

lowkey written like seriously annoying clickbait but full of real stories and i guess the humour was there to help against the tumultuous reality which is.. the history of queer parenting.. not sure why i picked this up but!

[Janna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interessant - de schrijfster haar eigen proces met IVF - maar ook wel erg triest - Amerikaanse 'lawsuits' waar ouders het recht tot hun kind verliezen. Humoristisch geschreven

[Romane · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5
Real good