Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between

by Victor M. Sweeney

In this unique and thoughtful collection, a young funeral director—also known as “the internet’s favorite mortician” (CNBC)—explores various aspects of death, offering heartfelt and practical insights into how we determine what matters most while we are alive. This evocative book is for fans of Thomas Lynch, Mary Roach, and Caitlin Doughty.

Now Departing explores the science, craft, and mindfulness behind Victor M. Sweeney’s very peculiar skill set. Working in the funeral business since he was eighteen years old, Sweeney astutely shares the powerful and moving lessons of how we can exist and be remembered with intention and meaning.

Each page is filled with reflective observations and true stories from the lives and deaths that Sweeney has come to know through his work in a small Minnesota town. With grace and understanding, he also explores the rituals around preparing and saying goodbye to those we mourn; the love and forgiveness that arises in the face of grief; the universal interplay of walking between the chasm of the mundanity of a required business practice that touches on humanity’s deepest metaphysical realities; and ultimately, how loss gives us the opportunity to focus on and celebrate the elements we have gained.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Death, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

288 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 14, 2025

Reviews

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a gem. Sweeney writes about his time as a mortician in a very small Minnesota town. The funeral home where he works services many surrounding communities, but even then, he is all too familiar with the people he has buried and their families. I have always found the work itself so fascinating, but Sweeney brings an extra layer with his charitable work in the community, his connection to the spiritual, how his own family has developed over time, and more. He shares poignant moments from his personal life along with the details of his profession. But this is not just a profession for him--it's a vocation. The job is a lot of work. It's demanding, has strange hours, and requires a lot of paperwork (and muscle strength!) Yet Sweeney says that he can't let it go because of how meaningful it truly is. I highly recommend this quiet yet powerful memoir.

[Jill Crosby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those “must-read” books that cross your TBR because you like to invest in the works of local authors—-and you find yourself holding a love letter to humanity. This is the book Garrison Keillor or Sinclair Lewis would’ve written if they’d actually had warm feelings about Lake Woebegon or Gopher’s Prairie—what Sweeney does differently is to bring that spark of the shared-humanity to bear in this volume of reflections on town, people, land, family, and their greatest common denominator—-Death. He reports quite matter-of-factly on the skills and demands of his work as a small-town undertaker, folding in lessons about the living and the constancy of memento mori that follows us all.
This book is a cup of hot coffee, the faint smell of your grandpa’s pipe smoke, creaking hardwood floors, and a warm wind on cool grass. Rearrange your weekend plans to include reading this gem.

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

“You can’t have a good funeral with a bad body.”

A truly fascinating peek into your friendly mortuary man and the things that he must do to dead bodies after death to make them presentable. A few of these things I already knew and others, quite frankly, shocked and horrified me. I could have gone my whole life without knowing what mortuary wax was used for. Yikes.

Overall a nice peek into the field of the mortuary arts and into the life of one of the men who has immersed himself in the business of death. His personal stories are both heartfelt and heartbreaking.

“‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’ This line is the single best take on dying I’ve ever heard.” Absolutely! 🤣

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Gallery Books, and @victor.m.sweeney for the complimentary ARC.

[Kirsten Kleven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victor is my hometown funeral director and has cared for many of my loved ones over the last decade. I enjoyed learning more about the funeral industry.

[MKF · Rating 2 out of 5]

Seeing the author refer to old ladies as LOL's is a bit uncomfortable because of the actual meaning.

[Amy Gordon · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was ok! I enjoyed his stories and I feel like I learned a lot but I didn’t find the chapters particularly captivating. But I guess he’s not a writer and embalms bodies for a living so that’s understandable.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is such a a good book about a mortician in a small town. It's about death, of course, but so much of it is about life. It goes into just enough detail to learn about embalming and cremation without being overly doom and gloom.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew from the start that this would be an emotional read. Having lost my dad just a few short months ago, still feeling raw, still learning to navigate the depth of grief that loss leaves behind. I needed a book that didn’t shy away from the hard truths—one that looked death square in the face and honoured all that follows those overwhelming moments.

As a hospice worker, I am intimately familiar with the profound beauty that can often be found in death — the quiet grace, the deep humanity, the sacredness of final moments. Sweeney’s book captures all of this and more. He does not flinch from the truths that many prefer to avoid, yet his words are filled with tenderness, wisdom, and an abiding respect for both the living and the dead.

This book is a rare gift: a companion through mourning, a testament to the strength we carry through loss, and a moving reminder that even in our most painful moments, beauty endures.

Many thanks to Edelweiss and Gallery Books for providing me with an eARC of Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between prior to its publication.

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now Departing was sitting on the “Lucky Day” shelf at my local library, and I’m so glad I grabbed it. I honestly can’t believe how much I loved a book written by a small-town mortician, but here we are.

This book is full of beautiful, funny, and deeply human stories, all told with honesty and heart. Beyond the stories, it offers surprisingly solid life advice about grief, love, and accepting bananas aka charity, (iykyk), that anyone can take something from. It’s thoughtful without being heavy, humorous, and comforting in a way I didn’t expect.

One of my favorite reads of the year, and a reminder that wisdom often comes from the most unexpected places.

[Becky Loader · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an awesome read about a subject I have absolutely no knowledge about--nada, nothing!

Born with cerebral palsy, Sweeney is a go-getter and over-achiever who lets nothing get in his way. Interested in being a priest as a youth, he realized he didn't want to miss having a family. So, when he got to know a local mortician who talked about dealing with families coping with death and dying, he found a new path to follow.

I have a whole new viewpoint about the funeral business.

[Elyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read a lot about the funeral industry and was captivated by both the cover and the title. The stories were heartbreaking, hopeful, and steeped in his love for his vocation. Personally, I liked the chapters on writing obituaries and the importance of headstones. There, however, were a few typos/printing errors that should have been caught by the editor, making this a lower rating.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

The last person you need is a mortician.

Jokes aside, this behind the scenes look at the life of a mortician and his craft was a humbling and captivating reading experience. Victor’s tenderness toward families walking through death was admirable. I was inspired by his insight into what a grieving family needs. Under the surface of the nitty-gritty details about embalming and cremating, I recognized a kind man who is clearly in this line of work for good reason. Though he seems to have religious beliefs of his own, Victor is wishy-washy about what actually happens after death. However, I recognize that he was not writing a theology work, so I can see why he left those elements in the background. Reading this after experiencing a death in my own family made the experience more vivid than it might have been otherwise, but I would recommend this book to anyone. It is detailed without being gory and honest about how people handle death in different ways. In a way few other things could, it may help you consider the earthly and heavenly aspects of death before it comes for you.

[Hailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh. This book was okay. It follows the career of a mortician/embalmer. The stories were told well and with truth. I thought it was going to be more educational but it's definitely more of a memoir. It was hard to pick up some days and the story was slow at points.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the arc.

[Charlotte · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected this to be a different version of Smoke Gets in the Eyes full of interesting stories. There were some really interesting stories, but also SO much navel gazing and waffling and pocket philosophizing.

I really appreciate the attitude he brings to his work, and find it very admirable how he does his best to give people a "good" experience and tries to bill them as little as possible and sometimes less. I give him five stars for that, but unfortunately the book just wasn't as good.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Over the years, I have read several memoirs from funeral directors, coronors, and others in the death industry, this one comes from a younger man in a small town who found the trade almost by happenstance (or perhaps kismet). What follows is a unique yet serious look into the world of a small town mortician. Equal parts education and introspection, Sweeney shares his life and his outlook with us. The stories are sad yet heartwarming and while the tales are brief, I found myself connected to the lives the author shared. I wanted to learn more about them and the world they inhabited. If that's not a testament to the author's philosophy, I don't know what is!
My thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the advance reader copy of this title in exchange for my honest review.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Tempted to move to rural Minnesota so that Victor Sweeney could write my obituary. Maybe a side gig would be to meet him for coffee, buy him lunch and for a slight fee … your personal obituary. (Message me with a $.)

Highly recommend Now Departing. Where else will you read about accidentally embalming your finger and finding out the rest of the story?!?!

You can just tell that Victor Sweeney cares immensely about his community and his profession.

Approx 288 pages. Publication date is Oct 14, 2025.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books (publisher) for approving my request to read the advance review copy of Now Departing in exchange for an honest review.

[Eve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclosure: I received an advance review copy of Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between from Gallery Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

Trigger Warnings: death, grief, funerary practices, embalming, child death, accidents

Victor M. Sweeney, known by many as “the internet’s favorite mortician,” brings a rare combination of candor, compassion, and humility to Now Departing. I came to this book with a personal history of loss; my father’s death when I was young shaped the way my family honored him, from graveside picnics to my own ongoing practice of documenting and researching forgotten graves. This lifelong interest in how we commemorate the dead made Sweeney’s reflections feel deeply familiar. His respect for both the deceased and those left behind is evident in every story he tells.

Sweeney’s memoir blends practical detail with emotional depth. Drawing from years as a funeral director in rural Minnesota, he writes with an unflinching honesty about the realities of death, yet his words never feel clinical or detached. Instead, he offers space for reflection, often grounding his narratives in small-town intimacy where everyone knows the grieving families personally. Much like Thomas Lynch, whom Sweeney cites as an early influence, he treats death not as a macabre curiosity but as an inevitable part of life that demands tenderness and presence.

What stands out most is the balance Sweeney strikes. He does not avoid the hard truths, but he approaches them with grace, creating a work that is as instructive as it is consoling. The book occasionally moves briskly through anecdotes, leaving me wishing for more detail, yet even in brevity the lessons resonate. His accounts of ritual, memory, and mourning remind us that grief can hold beauty, forgiveness, and even community.

Now Departing will speak to anyone who has wrestled with loss or wondered how to carry themselves in the presence of it. It offers solace without sentimentality, wisdom without pretension, and an abiding reminder that to honor the dead is, ultimately, to honor the living.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very calm, cozy, lyrical collection of essays about death and undertaking. I haven’t heard of Victor M Sweeney before this as I don’t watch Wired but I’d be interested in checking out his videos now.

I will say that in some cases I believe Sweeney’s very clear debt to The Undertaking and Thomas Lynch’s work as a whole is too obvious- the comparison of a mortician to a farmer is incredibly similar to Lynch’s essay on the similarities between being a poet and being an undertaker, for instance. There’s also a similar chapter on being an inconvenience that echoes Lynch’s own extensive musings on that topic, as well as the same general thoughts on cremation and how Americans are increasingly choosing cremation despite being uncomfortable with basically everything about cremation. That being said, it’s different enough to stand out, and Sweeney has a lot more focus on cemeteries which I like, as a cemetery goer myself.

Part of me is glad I had no idea about Sweeney’s internet presence prior to this, as I’m sure I’d develop lots of preconceived notions about him. Happily, this is the exact kind of funeral-centric nonfiction I enjoy, given that I bounced off everyone’s favorite Caitlin Dougherty for being too California and new-age (perhaps I just am biased against morticians with Goth aesthetics). I confess to being a funeral traditionalist, however. I like burials in cemeteries, funerals with tears, wearing black and wakes, and this book is for my fellow funeral traditionalists. At times, Sweeney dips a bit cringy, and a bit saccharine, but as a whole, the book is lovely and endearing. If you enjoyed this, I highly recommend either The Undertaking or the subsequent 2007 PBS documentary.

[Nathan Hillyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will say that my keen interest in his work is doubtless due to my own chance as a young man to witness an embalming. Most of the procedures I observed back then were brought back to me in Sweeney's book (and also in his online videos), but this autobiography gave me a respect for the mortician as a human being whose own soul mingles with the living and the dead. Reading this book, one will find all the depth of living a good life by seeing it through the eyes of Victor M. Sweeney, a man whose calling is to escort families, friends, and a departed soul through the experience of death. While many, including myself, have enjoyed his online videos answering questions about the process of embalming and funerary details, readers are now invited in this book to understand the many dimensions of a mortician. Sweeney shows us that a mortician's work is not merely organized, scientific, and technical. We learn that these are tradecraft aspects handled by a person whose emotional sincerity offers connection and fortitude. Sweeney represents for the profession a person whose humanity makes the job bearable in moments when he has to absorb and give tears and embrace those who are mourning. He also shows us why an understanding of the nature of love makes the job rewarding, not just a job. In this account of his journey alongside the metaphoric River Styx, Sweeney presents insightful lessons on the nature of charity, patience, inconvenience, and loss. In the more practical sense, he takes us from the moment a mortician is called, through the pickup of the dead loved one, the process of either embalming or cremating a person, the arrangements made for celebration of the person's life, and their eventual deposit in an urn, the ground, or in the wind. Sweeney shows us that the mortician's is a life of giving, not only to a mourning family, but also to the inanimate remains where a soul once resided, whether the dead are remembered or in a "potter's field." Now Departing is a significant work which travels beyond the boundaries of superficial descriptions of a profession. It gives the reader an insight not only on how we die, but how we can live.

[Elowen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been interested in mortuary science and the funeral industry since I was a teenager. I am now currently a mortuary science student.

Since becoming a student I have questioned quite a few times if this job was for me or if I was cut out for this type of work.

Now Departing filled me with resolve and peace at my decision to continue in this field.

Now Departing does not make the industry look glamorous, but it does show the deep connections that are formed and the respect you gain for life. It shows the type of heart it takes to do a job that is often thankless.

Victor paints vivid details and heartfelt emotion in every scenario without ever disrespecting the decedent or the surviving loved ones.

He shows the passion and the courage this craft takes. He doesn’t shy away from the mental toll it takes or the long hours or the time spent away from family. But he never complains about it either.

In a world that is moving away from final goodbyes, services, and ritual. Victor Sweeney shows the impact and power of “the good death.”

While this book may seem to some as just a collection of fun, anecdotal situations morticians may find themselves in, there is an undertone of wisdom and insight and life lessons that form and shape a person.

Thank you for this amazing book. I enjoyed it immensely.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an astoundingly beautiful book. Everything, really, included from the prose to the printing quality.
Victor Sweeney is local to me, which is probably 80% of the reason why I bought this book. It's not every day you read a philosophical semi-memoir book from a mortician. He has a wonderful way of writing and has a beautiful outlook on life through the eyes of someone always dealing with death. He talks about his own experiences and how it has shaped him. Some of it is about the job, from making headstones to obituaries and everything in between, but also his relationships with locals, his friends, how his wife deals with the job, his sense of charity, and more in individual essays. The book doesn't need to be read in order, as a result. Each chapter covers a very different topic.

It got me thinking of my own funeral arrangements, my wife's, and writing our obituaries. Though I am currently only 42, you never know when is the end. Assuming he is still around, I will have Victor as my own funeral director, and I know I will be in great hands with much care and thoughtfulness, and artistry, during the process.

[Traci · Rating 3 out of 5]

I tend to pick up most of the books about death, dead bodies, mortuary work, etc. I love reading things like Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Working Stiff: Two Years, 262 Bodies, and the Making of a Medical Examiner, and I thought this would be similar.

I was wrong.

It's not a bad book. It's well-written, and there are some interesting moments. But to me, it's very much like living in a small town (which I did as a child). Nothing much exciting going on. I mean, it's not a long book and I should have been finished with it much sooner. I just found it myself picking up other things more often than not.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

For whatever reason, I am drawn to books about the death industry. Therefore I have read a few along the way. The unusual (Stiff) and others like it, I have found fascinating and page turning. This book, while well written and kind just reads like a comfortable afghan thrown over your knees on a cold winter night. While it keeps the chill at bay, it doesn’t provide much else. It is the story of a small town funeral director who comes to know and serve most families in his community. I grew up in a small town with two funeral directors, one Lutheran and one catholic, both who practiced through generations. I understand the small town cohesiveness and the trust bestowed on those we place in the care of our departed loved ones. This story tells that well. However, I found it a bit boring along the way, just as I find most obituaries pretty boring as well. Tell me something about the person, not who predeceased them. I think the author attempted to do that here, but the book to me was like reading my small town newspaper - a bit dry.

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

The blurb compares this book to Mary Roach and Caitlin Doughty but, other than dealing with the subject of death, it is more of a memoir. Sweeney talks about his life, his job and his thoughts about living and the end. He portrays his community and the people who have been “in his care,” their families and the services he performs (which sometimes require a strong stomach). It is well written and Sweeney is a likable guy. It is not hard to see how much he cares. Based on the synopsis, though, I was expecting more about the technical part of a mortician’s job. There is a little bit of this here, but it is mostly devoted to the people, not the process. Memoirs are not my genre so, as much as I appreciate how this book will be a five-star read for many people, it was not for me.
I chose to read this book and all opinions in this review are my own and completely unbiased. Thank you, NetGalley/Gallery Books.

[Zoom · Rating 3 out of 5]

Folksy, philosophical memoir written by a young small-town mortician....maybe a cross between personal essays and memoir.

I liked the factual and practical details about his job, such as the embalming process and the way the body changes between death and burial. For example, I didn't know that rigor mortis is followed by another stage - livor mortis - in which the body softens again.

I also found it interesting to learn how bodies are handled, like dressing, doing the makeup, lifting very heavy bodies, preserving dignity and so on. Some of the stories about the various deaths and funerals the author managed were interesting.

I can't quite put my finger on what I didn't like, or why I thought it only warranted 3 stars. Maybe at times his tone sounds a bit preachy (he confesses to wanting to be a priest before he became a mortician). Or maybe I'm just a bit judgy.

At any rate, I'm glad he wrote it and I'm glad I read it. Mortality and death continue to intrigue me.

[A · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a well written account of a funeral director’s experiences and musings about his life in a small American town. In short chapters, he describes various cases that he has worked, as well as some of the people that he has come across over the years.
I found the book mostly uninteresting, such that I skimmed much of it. It might be more useful for readers who haven't had much exposure to death, as it normalizes it somewhat. So perhaps it will help them be better prepared for when the unfortunate time comes that they lose a loved one? (I work in healthcare, so I see a lot of death already). For those interested, there's an excellent 2008 Japanese film called Departures, that follows a young undertaker as he respectfully prepares his clients.
This is my honest review, and I am posting it voluntarily. Thanks to the author & publisher for providing me with an ARC of this book.

[Siobhan Ward · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a few books in this vein, mostly from medical examiners or other folks involved in the death business, and sometimes they stray towards crass. I mean, I can imagine that at some point you become very accustomed to death and that it's a fact of life, but there's a difference between that and being far too blunt about people's deaths (thinking specifically of a book by a medical examiner where she described someone as being "creamed" by a car). I get that a mortician would have a very different view of the deceased than an ME, but still man.

Sweeney's insight into life as a mortician, especially one in a small town where you are bound to know someone who loved the deceased, if not the deceased himself, was a really interesting and new angle for me. I appreciated how he humanized everyone involved (including himself) and lifted some of the veil on the funeral industry.

[Idalis Rave · Rating 2 out of 5]

Enjoyed the writing, it was beautiful and almost poetic for such a heavy topic. It was hard to go from story to story without a period of career facts, information that was apart from someone's life/death story. Experience in the people portion of this career made this an enjoyable read- however it was quite repetitive for my attention + preference.

I really enjoyed the educational aspect of how and what it takes to be a mortician. As well as the science and benefits of who you choose to take care of you during your deathcare- & really held on to this book as long as I could to see more of this portion but unfortunately I need to say goodbye.

This could be for you if you like the community aspect and stories, its a beautiful piece. I however prefer the depth of the informative and science aspect.

[Britton McGregor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victor writes about death with such grace, humility, and humanity. His words are thoughtful without being heavy, honest without being harsh, and deeply comforting without ever feeling forced. Reading his reflections made me feel seen in my own grief, but also gently reminded me to live with more intention, softness, and awareness.

What made this book especially meaningful is that he wrote about my husband’s grandparents. Seeing their lives honored in his words brought unexpected joy and peace. It felt like a continuation of the care he showed our family—this time through storytelling.

Now Departing is not just a book about death; it’s a book about love, legacy, and what truly matters while we’re still here. I’m so grateful for Victor’s work, both in the funeral home and on these pages. This is a book I will carry with me for a long time.

Well done.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Autumn is a time best suited for poetry as well as for death, it seems.

Our greatest gift to others is to make the most of where we currently are.

I want to serve others in what I do, but if I am being honest, I also want to be acknowledged for it.

Every vocation properly understood should make things better for those you serve.

People help to shape the course and content of your life.

Grief is the outpouring of great love.

All energy blows back to the universe.

Growth in life to a state of grace is the goal.

Ended their life or made choices all of us regret.

Not what you have done but rather what and who you have loved.

Love is to will to the good of another.

Inconvenience and tears are the price we pay for love.