Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between

by Victor M. Sweeney

In this unique and thoughtful collection, a young funeral director—also known as “the internet’s favorite mortician” (CNBC)—explores various aspects of death, offering heartfelt and practical insights into how we determine what matters most while we are alive. This evocative book is for fans of Thomas Lynch, Mary Roach, and Caitlin Doughty.

Now Departing explores the science, craft, and mindfulness behind Victor M. Sweeney’s very peculiar skill set. Working in the funeral business since he was eighteen years old, Sweeney astutely shares the powerful and moving lessons of how we can exist and be remembered with intention and meaning.

Each page is filled with reflective observations and true stories from the lives and deaths that Sweeney has come to know through his work in a small Minnesota town. With grace and understanding, he also explores the rituals around preparing and saying goodbye to those we mourn; the love and forgiveness that arises in the face of grief; the universal interplay of walking between the chasm of the mundanity of a required business practice that touches on humanity’s deepest metaphysical realities; and ultimately, how loss gives us the opportunity to focus on and celebrate the elements we have gained.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Death, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

288 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 14, 2025

Reviews

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a gem. Sweeney writes about his time as a mortician in a very small Minnesota town. The funeral home where he works services many surrounding communities, but even then, he is all too familiar with the people he has buried and their families. I have always found the work itself so fascinating, but Sweeney brings an extra layer with his charitable work in the community, his connection to the spiritual, how his own family has developed over time, and more. He shares poignant moments from his personal life along with the details of his profession. But this is not just a profession for him--it's a vocation. The job is a lot of work. It's demanding, has strange hours, and requires a lot of paperwork (and muscle strength!) Yet Sweeney says that he can't let it go because of how meaningful it truly is. I highly recommend this quiet yet powerful memoir.

[Kristi · Rating 3 out of 5]

“You can’t have a good funeral with a bad body.”

A truly fascinating peek into your friendly mortuary man and the things that he must do to dead bodies after death to make them presentable. A few of these things I already knew and others, quite frankly, shocked and horrified me. I could have gone my whole life without knowing what mortuary wax was used for. Yikes.

Overall a nice peek into the field of the mortuary arts and into the life of one of the men who has immersed himself in the business of death. His personal stories are both heartfelt and heartbreaking.

“‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’ This line is the single best take on dying I’ve ever heard.” Absolutely! 🤣

Thank you so much to Netgalley, Gallery Books, and @victor.m.sweeney for the complimentary ARC.

[Kirsten Kleven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victor is my hometown funeral director and has cared for many of my loved ones over the last decade. I enjoyed learning more about the funeral industry.

[MKF · Rating 2 out of 5]

Seeing the author refer to old ladies as LOL's is a bit uncomfortable because of the actual meaning.

[Jill Crosby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those “must-read” books that cross your TBR because you like to invest in the works of local authors—-and you find yourself holding a love letter to humanity. This is the book Garrison Keillor or Sinclair Lewis would’ve written if they’d actually had warm feelings about Lake Woebegon or Gopher’s Prairie—what Sweeney does differently is to bring that spark of the shared-humanity to bear in this volume of reflections on town, people, land, family, and their greatest common denominator—-Death. He reports quite matter-of-factly on the skills and demands of his work as a small-town undertaker, folding in lessons about the living and the constancy of memento mori that follows us all.
This book is a cup of hot coffee, the faint smell of your grandpa’s pipe smoke, creaking hardwood floors, and a warm wind on cool grass. Rearrange your weekend plans to include reading this gem.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is such a a good book about a mortician in a small town. It's about death, of course, but so much of it is about life. It goes into just enough detail to learn about embalming and cremation without being overly doom and gloom.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew from the start that this would be an emotional read. Having lost my dad just a few short months ago, still feeling raw, still learning to navigate the depth of grief that loss leaves behind. I needed a book that didn’t shy away from the hard truths—one that looked death square in the face and honoured all that follows those overwhelming moments.

As a hospice worker, I am intimately familiar with the profound beauty that can often be found in death — the quiet grace, the deep humanity, the sacredness of final moments. Sweeney’s book captures all of this and more. He does not flinch from the truths that many prefer to avoid, yet his words are filled with tenderness, wisdom, and an abiding respect for both the living and the dead.

This book is a rare gift: a companion through mourning, a testament to the strength we carry through loss, and a moving reminder that even in our most painful moments, beauty endures.

Many thanks to Edelweiss and Gallery Books for providing me with an eARC of Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between prior to its publication.

[Hailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh. This book was okay. It follows the career of a mortician/embalmer. The stories were told well and with truth. I thought it was going to be more educational but it's definitely more of a memoir. It was hard to pick up some days and the story was slow at points.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the arc.

[Charlotte · Rating 2 out of 5]

I expected this to be a different version of Smoke Gets in the Eyes full of interesting stories. There were some really interesting stories, but also SO much navel gazing and waffling and pocket philosophizing.

I really appreciate the attitude he brings to his work, and find it very admirable how he does his best to give people a "good" experience and tries to bill them as little as possible and sometimes less. I give him five stars for that, but unfortunately the book just wasn't as good.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Over the years, I have read several memoirs from funeral directors, coronors, and others in the death industry, this one comes from a younger man in a small town who found the trade almost by happenstance (or perhaps kismet). What follows is a unique yet serious look into the world of a small town mortician. Equal parts education and introspection, Sweeney shares his life and his outlook with us. The stories are sad yet heartwarming and while the tales are brief, I found myself connected to the lives the author shared. I wanted to learn more about them and the world they inhabited. If that's not a testament to the author's philosophy, I don't know what is!
My thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the advance reader copy of this title in exchange for my honest review.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Tempted to move to rural Minnesota so that Victor Sweeney could write my obituary. Maybe a side gig would be to meet him for coffee, buy him lunch and for a slight fee … your personal obituary. (Message me with a $.)

Highly recommend Now Departing. Where else will you read about accidentally embalming your finger and finding out the rest of the story?!?!

You can just tell that Victor Sweeney cares immensely about his community and his profession.

Approx 288 pages. Publication date is Oct 14, 2025.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books (publisher) for approving my request to read the advance review copy of Now Departing in exchange for an honest review.

[Eve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclosure: I received an advance review copy of Now Departing: A Small-Town Mortician on Death, Life, and the Moments in Between from Gallery Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

Trigger Warnings: death, grief, funerary practices, embalming, child death, accidents

Victor M. Sweeney, known by many as “the internet’s favorite mortician,” brings a rare combination of candor, compassion, and humility to Now Departing. I came to this book with a personal history of loss; my father’s death when I was young shaped the way my family honored him, from graveside picnics to my own ongoing practice of documenting and researching forgotten graves. This lifelong interest in how we commemorate the dead made Sweeney’s reflections feel deeply familiar. His respect for both the deceased and those left behind is evident in every story he tells.

Sweeney’s memoir blends practical detail with emotional depth. Drawing from years as a funeral director in rural Minnesota, he writes with an unflinching honesty about the realities of death, yet his words never feel clinical or detached. Instead, he offers space for reflection, often grounding his narratives in small-town intimacy where everyone knows the grieving families personally. Much like Thomas Lynch, whom Sweeney cites as an early influence, he treats death not as a macabre curiosity but as an inevitable part of life that demands tenderness and presence.

What stands out most is the balance Sweeney strikes. He does not avoid the hard truths, but he approaches them with grace, creating a work that is as instructive as it is consoling. The book occasionally moves briskly through anecdotes, leaving me wishing for more detail, yet even in brevity the lessons resonate. His accounts of ritual, memory, and mourning remind us that grief can hold beauty, forgiveness, and even community.

Now Departing will speak to anyone who has wrestled with loss or wondered how to carry themselves in the presence of it. It offers solace without sentimentality, wisdom without pretension, and an abiding reminder that to honor the dead is, ultimately, to honor the living.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very calm, cozy, lyrical collection of essays about death and undertaking. I haven’t heard of Victor M Sweeney before this as I don’t watch Wired but I’d be interested in checking out his videos now.

I will say that in some cases I believe Sweeney’s very clear debt to The Undertaking and Thomas Lynch’s work as a whole is too obvious- the comparison of a mortician to a farmer is incredibly similar to Lynch’s essay on the similarities between being a poet and being an undertaker, for instance. There’s also a similar chapter on being an inconvenience that echoes Lynch’s own extensive musings on that topic, as well as the same general thoughts on cremation and how Americans are increasingly choosing cremation despite being uncomfortable with basically everything about cremation. That being said, it’s different enough to stand out, and Sweeney has a lot more focus on cemeteries which I like, as a cemetery goer myself.

Part of me is glad I had no idea about Sweeney’s internet presence prior to this, as I’m sure I’d develop lots of preconceived notions about him. Happily, this is the exact kind of funeral-centric nonfiction I enjoy, given that I bounced off everyone’s favorite Caitlin Dougherty for being too California and new-age (perhaps I just am biased against morticians with Goth aesthetics). I confess to being a funeral traditionalist, however. I like burials in cemeteries, funerals with tears, wearing black and wakes, and this book is for my fellow funeral traditionalists. At times, Sweeney dips a bit cringy, and a bit saccharine, but as a whole, the book is lovely and endearing. If you enjoyed this, I highly recommend either The Undertaking or the subsequent 2007 PBS documentary.

[Traci · Rating 3 out of 5]

I tend to pick up most of the books about death, dead bodies, mortuary work, etc. I love reading things like Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Working Stiff: Two Years, 262 Bodies, and the Making of a Medical Examiner, and I thought this would be similar.

I was wrong.

It's not a bad book. It's well-written, and there are some interesting moments. But to me, it's very much like living in a small town (which I did as a child). Nothing much exciting going on. I mean, it's not a long book and I should have been finished with it much sooner. I just found it myself picking up other things more often than not.

[Elisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

The blurb compares this book to Mary Roach and Caitlin Doughty but, other than dealing with the subject of death, it is more of a memoir. Sweeney talks about his life, his job and his thoughts about living and the end. He portrays his community and the people who have been “in his care,” their families and the services he performs (which sometimes require a strong stomach). It is well written and Sweeney is a likable guy. It is not hard to see how much he cares. Based on the synopsis, though, I was expecting more about the technical part of a mortician’s job. There is a little bit of this here, but it is mostly devoted to the people, not the process. Memoirs are not my genre so, as much as I appreciate how this book will be a five-star read for many people, it was not for me.
I chose to read this book and all opinions in this review are my own and completely unbiased. Thank you, NetGalley/Gallery Books.

[A · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a well written account of a funeral director’s experiences and musings about his life in a small American town. In short chapters, he describes various cases that he has worked, as well as some of the people that he has come across over the years.
I found the book mostly uninteresting, such that I skimmed much of it. It might be more useful for readers who haven't had much exposure to death, as it normalizes it somewhat. So perhaps it will help them be better prepared for when the unfortunate time comes that they lose a loved one? (I work in healthcare, so I see a lot of death already). For those interested, there's an excellent 2008 Japanese film called Departures, that follows a young undertaker as he respectfully prepares his clients.
This is my honest review, and I am posting it voluntarily. Thanks to the author & publisher for providing me with an ARC of this book.

[Siobhan Ward · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a few books in this vein, mostly from medical examiners or other folks involved in the death business, and sometimes they stray towards crass. I mean, I can imagine that at some point you become very accustomed to death and that it's a fact of life, but there's a difference between that and being far too blunt about people's deaths (thinking specifically of a book by a medical examiner where she described someone as being "creamed" by a car). I get that a mortician would have a very different view of the deceased than an ME, but still man.

Sweeney's insight into life as a mortician, especially one in a small town where you are bound to know someone who loved the deceased, if not the deceased himself, was a really interesting and new angle for me. I appreciated how he humanized everyone involved (including himself) and lifted some of the veil on the funeral industry.

[Idalis Rave · Rating 2 out of 5]

Enjoyed the writing, it was beautiful and almost poetic for such a heavy topic. It was hard to go from story to story without a period of career facts, information that was apart from someone's life/death story. Experience in the people portion of this career made this an enjoyable read- however it was quite repetitive for my attention + preference.

I really enjoyed the educational aspect of how and what it takes to be a mortician. As well as the science and benefits of who you choose to take care of you during your deathcare- & really held on to this book as long as I could to see more of this portion but unfortunately I need to say goodbye.

This could be for you if you like the community aspect and stories, its a beautiful piece. I however prefer the depth of the informative and science aspect.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Autumn is a time best suited for poetry as well as for death, it seems.

Our greatest gift to others is to make the most of where we currently are.

I want to serve others in what I do, but if I am being honest, I also want to be acknowledged for it.

Every vocation properly understood should make things better for those you serve.

People help to shape the course and content of your life.

Grief is the outpouring of great love.

All energy blows back to the universe.

Growth in life to a state of grace is the goal.

Ended their life or made choices all of us regret.

Not what you have done but rather what and who you have loved.

Love is to will to the good of another.

Inconvenience and tears are the price we pay for love.

[Michelle Ule · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has given me SO MUCH to think about as I read, savored, and read aloud to family members. When I think about death, I think about appearing in heaven, not what happens to my physical body. As I go through things slowly, I'm thinking about what my kids know/have, and what I should just dispose of.

I don't think about what to do with my dead body.

But Sweeney provides insight from a man who spends every day with dead bodies. I appreciated his gentleness, thoughtfulness, and practicality as every day he meets families experiencing one of the worst days of their lives.

So much to think about, so many plans to lay as a result of this moving narrative nonfiction. I think we all might benefit from spending time with this book and it's gentle insights.

[Libby]

dnf @ 16%

I am so bored, I will continue to bored, I am giving up!

My non-enjoyment of this is partially my fault, as I thought this would be much more science based than it is, and unfortunately the actual writing style of this just is not for me. This is very much more about grief and working in a space that specializes in working with people during some of the worst times of their lives, and while that is somewhat interesting, I just cannot push through the writing of it.

Thank you to Gallery Books and Netgalley for the advanced copy!

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

An oddly comforting read. I appreciate Victor’s candor.

"There will, sometimes, be abrupt changes (death) and challenges (life) that shake us and cause us to suffer deeply. But even were those changes to come, would we wish we filled the time leading up to them with anguish over their inevitable arrival? ... Though it is a tall order sometimes, letting that optimism balance the similarly unstoppable force of our end creates a greater harmony in the time that unfolds between our beginning and our end."

[Angie Hyche · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now Departing

When I saw this book as a new one in my public library, I was intrigued enough by the title and cover to check it out. Little did I know how fascinating I would find the topic and how much I would enjoy the book. I never knew I would enjoy learning the details of preparing a body for a funeral or for cremation. More than that, however, I thoroughly enjoyed the stories. Victor Sweeney’s kindness and respect for the families he helps in his small Minnesota town is worthy of recognition, and his writing is excellent. This will probably end up being my favorite read of 2025.

[Aria · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's almost ironic that a man who primarily works with death has such insightful observations on life.

While reading, I came to the understanding that the most difficult part about working with death, is actually working with the life it left behind. Dealing with the families in the middle of grief, often brings out the core of them, and Sweeney has a unique perspective on all types of people, much like a retail worker.

Some families are stoic or celebratory, others had more strained relationships, the families argue, put strain on themselves, change their minds, struggle to reconcile with each other. Sweeney's passion for his work is undeniable, and he dutifully and sincerely guides each family through their own individualised process with care and without judgement.

Sweeney's own opinions and attitudes, what he personally thinks about death, and how he lets the things he learns in death inform his life, is the beating heart of the book. He maintains a remarkable optimism, generosity, and kindness towards others, and you keep reading because of his unique voice and his takes, more so than the content of what he's describing. He explicitly writes, I am no great writer, but I as the reader particularly enjoyed his short story about the woman fated to meet Inconvenience. I thought it was incredibly astute and he should definitely consider himself an excellent writer, he does mention writing a lot of obituaries.

To those raised with taboos and a hush-hush around death, it may seem a little odd to describe the deceased in such detail, particularly as in his small town he knows everyone, and can talk vividly about the lives they lived. However, I think a secondary aim of Sweeney's in writing this book is to destigmatise death, of which he does an admirable and incredible job, while still maintaining positivity that can be applied while still living.

[Lauren H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely exceptional! I found Victor’s videos during the pandemic while I was pregnant during the pandemic. I now follow him actively on every platform. I actively remember hearing about when this book would be available on Audible, and I pre-ordered it the moment I found out it was in the makings and he were to narrate it. If only others in the death care industry could learn from the care and patience that Victor gives to those that come through his neighborhood funeral home, we’d be all the more better.

[Vnunez-Ms_luv2read · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who thought of going in the funeral business, I enjoy reading these types of books. I found this book to be a very good look at the life of a funeral director/ embalmer. The book is written with iinsight, compassion and truth. To the author, thank you for letting us into your days. Very well done. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the arc of this book. Receiving it in this manner, had no bearing on my review.

[Debbie Swanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, not only because I know Victor Sweeney, but because it is well written, full of hard topics and laced with humor. I can't think of another book that is so truthful about death and how our society approaches its eventuality, full of compassion and dedication to one's vocation. Victor has a true calling, and it shows up on every page. He accurately depicts life in small town Minnesota, and I just couldn't put it down.

[Pieter Cryder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victor lets us into a world not typically sought after, but he guides readers with Grace as he muses the relationship of life, death, and everything in between.

Instead of going on, I hope this book finds its way into your life. I am a different person than I was at the start of this read, I pray others learn something from Victor, too.

I rarely rate books 5/5. I cannot fathom rating Now Departing anything else.

[Laura Golden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! Reading this book over Halloween and All Souls Day was the perfect season to read it! I loved learning about different aspects of funerals and mortuary tasks via stories and loved all the small town references! The authors pursuit of Truth, Beauty and Goodness throughout the book is evident if you’re looking for it! I would highly recommend!

[Beth Cooper · Rating 4 out of 5]

My family has been in the funeral business for over 100 years so I appreciated the author’s thoughts and perspectives on the business and the personal aspects of helping families when a loved one dies. It’s more than a book about the business of death. It’s full of his thoughts on life and how best to honor a life after it ends.