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Cat
Rebecca van Laer and her partner purchase a home and move in with their senior cats, Toby and Gus. Their loved ones see this as a step toward an inevitable future—first comes the house, then a dog, then a child. But what if they are just cat people?
Moving between memoir, philosophy, and pop culture, Cat is a playful and tender meditation on cats and their people. Van Laer considers cats’ role in her personal narrative, where they are mascots of laziness and lawlessness, and in cultural narratives, where they appear as feminine, anarchic, and maladapted, especially in comparison to dogs.
From the stereotype of the ‘crazy cat lady’ to the joy of cat memes to the grief of pet loss, van Laer demonstrates that the cat-person relationship is free of the discipline and dependence required by parenting (and dog-parenting), creating a less hierarchical intimacy that offers a different model for love.
Moving between memoir, philosophy, and pop culture, Cat is a playful and tender meditation on cats and their people. Van Laer considers cats’ role in her personal narrative, where they are mascots of laziness and lawlessness, and in cultural narratives, where they appear as feminine, anarchic, and maladapted, especially in comparison to dogs.
From the stereotype of the ‘crazy cat lady’ to the joy of cat memes to the grief of pet loss, van Laer demonstrates that the cat-person relationship is free of the discipline and dependence required by parenting (and dog-parenting), creating a less hierarchical intimacy that offers a different model for love.
160 pages, Paperback
First published October 2, 2025
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2658 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
August 12, 2025
"That is not to say that I never feel frustrated when the cats roll around on the kitchen table in front of the guests, mew at the doors, scratch the furniture— but frustration is in the very blood that pumps the heart of love. Cat people know this."
Beautifully written, layered memoir about falling in love (sort of) with your cats, how they become family members (sort of), how you live with and along them. How it tears you to pieces if you come to lose one of them. Lots of lovely insights about living with cats.
"Cats— they make nothing happen. This is not to say that the cats do nothing; they do so much, and they are astonishingly good at it."
One of the best entries I've read in the Object Lessons series.
(Thanks to Bloomsbury Academic for providing me with an ARC through Edelweiss)
Beautifully written, layered memoir about falling in love (sort of) with your cats, how they become family members (sort of), how you live with and along them. How it tears you to pieces if you come to lose one of them. Lots of lovely insights about living with cats.
"Cats— they make nothing happen. This is not to say that the cats do nothing; they do so much, and they are astonishingly good at it."
One of the best entries I've read in the Object Lessons series.
(Thanks to Bloomsbury Academic for providing me with an ARC through Edelweiss)
June 13, 2025
I’m not sure what I expected from this one but it wasn’t this.
A short book but littered with tales of animal cruelty, neglect and murder. Also very heavily focused on the author and various life events. I would have liked far more stories or interesting information about cats. Overall a very disappointing read.
Thanks to Bloomsbury Academic and NetGalley for the ARC.
A short book but littered with tales of animal cruelty, neglect and murder. Also very heavily focused on the author and various life events. I would have liked far more stories or interesting information about cats. Overall a very disappointing read.
Thanks to Bloomsbury Academic and NetGalley for the ARC.
September 25, 2025
I read this courtesy of NetGalley.
I feel almost guilty saying this, since it's literally something van Laer addresses, but it's an important point: I am not a cat person. I don't hate them - we had cats when I was a kid - but I am one of those people who's allergic to at least some cats. Perhaps controversially, I am also not a dog person. I like dogs well enough, but I have no interest in owning one.
All of which means that there are parts of this book that I intellectually understood, but really don't GET on an emotional level. I do not understand the impact of losing a pet. I do not understand the joy of having a pet in your life day-in, day-out. Thus there are undoubtedly emotional resonances in this book that I just do not comprehend.
Having said that, I did really enjoy the book. It does exactly what the Object Lesson series seems to always manage: it balances the personal and emotional with the academic. This is a *powerfully* personal book - the author's relationship with cats (and, I'm sorry, the death of one of them) is the driving force behind the entire thing. But she brings in theoretical considerations, and research into things like how and why cats were domesticated, and how we relate to pets, and the destruction caused by cats - in ways that feel organic, like they're helping to enlarge the story she's telling.
This is an excellent addition to the Object Lessons series.
I feel almost guilty saying this, since it's literally something van Laer addresses, but it's an important point: I am not a cat person. I don't hate them - we had cats when I was a kid - but I am one of those people who's allergic to at least some cats. Perhaps controversially, I am also not a dog person. I like dogs well enough, but I have no interest in owning one.
All of which means that there are parts of this book that I intellectually understood, but really don't GET on an emotional level. I do not understand the impact of losing a pet. I do not understand the joy of having a pet in your life day-in, day-out. Thus there are undoubtedly emotional resonances in this book that I just do not comprehend.
Having said that, I did really enjoy the book. It does exactly what the Object Lesson series seems to always manage: it balances the personal and emotional with the academic. This is a *powerfully* personal book - the author's relationship with cats (and, I'm sorry, the death of one of them) is the driving force behind the entire thing. But she brings in theoretical considerations, and research into things like how and why cats were domesticated, and how we relate to pets, and the destruction caused by cats - in ways that feel organic, like they're helping to enlarge the story she's telling.
This is an excellent addition to the Object Lessons series.
September 1, 2025
I usually wouldn’t gravitate towards this kind of book, but if life works out according to plan for me, then I will be a cat mom to 2 girls and then bugging my man for a stupidly chaotic orange cat.
I loved how this memoir spoke so fondly about cats and how they become so integrated in our lives. Even learning more about the history of cats was quite fascinating and I wish we got more of that in the book. It was an interesting image of using cats as way that we humans have learned to love and express it.
Thank you, Netgalley, for the ARC!
I loved how this memoir spoke so fondly about cats and how they become so integrated in our lives. Even learning more about the history of cats was quite fascinating and I wish we got more of that in the book. It was an interesting image of using cats as way that we humans have learned to love and express it.
Thank you, Netgalley, for the ARC!
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September 13, 2025I discovered the Object Lessons series after stumbling across this book. As an avid cat lover I NEEDED to read it, but I soon fell down a rabbit hole and have since read a whole heap more.
This is a beautifully written memoir that follows Rebecca’s own story, exploring falling in love and creating a home and a family with your cats - and everything that entails. It was heartbreaking at some points when talking about the loss of a pet, and it definitely brought up my own memories of grief at losing my furry family members.
This is absolutely one of my favourite stories in the Object Lessons series. Thank you so much to NetGalley and Bloomsbury Academic for the eARC of this book.
This is a beautifully written memoir that follows Rebecca’s own story, exploring falling in love and creating a home and a family with your cats - and everything that entails. It was heartbreaking at some points when talking about the loss of a pet, and it definitely brought up my own memories of grief at losing my furry family members.
This is absolutely one of my favourite stories in the Object Lessons series. Thank you so much to NetGalley and Bloomsbury Academic for the eARC of this book.
June 13, 2025
Object Lessons is such a cool series concept and this book was a quick, entertaining little memoir/non-fic hybrid!
I loved how van Laer used her own story to shape her reflections on capitalism / job culture, living childfree, harmful cat stereotypes, and the ethics of 'ownership' while giving us history and context on the cat:human relationship through domesticity. I could relate so well to van Laer as a fellow burned out, childfree human. Her writing invited me into her world and, despite the short length, I felt like I knew her and her cats so well by the end. I was really surprised at the range of emotions I felt while reading this book!
There are a few grisly descriptions of animal death and cruelty, but because I went into this expecting a non-fic, it didn't feel as gratuitous as it can when included in memoirs. It's hard to quantify, but it just hit different: van Laer celebrates cats but doesn't shy away from the unpleasant parts of pet guardianship the harmful role of cats in problems like ecosystem destruction. The good, the bad, and the ugly - I thought van Laer's approach was balanced: capturing the full picture without sensationalism.
This was a great way to spend an afternoon. When I finished my first read through, I started again. Occasionally, I re-read books, but I've never read anything again straight after finishing! This was just so unlike anything I've ever read before and a really worthwhile read! 😻
I was privileged to have my request to review this approved by Bloomsbury Academic on NetGalley.
I loved how van Laer used her own story to shape her reflections on capitalism / job culture, living childfree, harmful cat stereotypes, and the ethics of 'ownership' while giving us history and context on the cat:human relationship through domesticity. I could relate so well to van Laer as a fellow burned out, childfree human. Her writing invited me into her world and, despite the short length, I felt like I knew her and her cats so well by the end. I was really surprised at the range of emotions I felt while reading this book!
There are a few grisly descriptions of animal death and cruelty, but because I went into this expecting a non-fic, it didn't feel as gratuitous as it can when included in memoirs. It's hard to quantify, but it just hit different: van Laer celebrates cats but doesn't shy away from the unpleasant parts of pet guardianship the harmful role of cats in problems like ecosystem destruction. The good, the bad, and the ugly - I thought van Laer's approach was balanced: capturing the full picture without sensationalism.
This was a great way to spend an afternoon. When I finished my first read through, I started again. Occasionally, I re-read books, but I've never read anything again straight after finishing! This was just so unlike anything I've ever read before and a really worthwhile read! 😻
I was privileged to have my request to review this approved by Bloomsbury Academic on NetGalley.
October 10, 2025
3.75⭐
Finding rating and reviewing this difficult, for the most part I enjoyed it. The tone of the book kept changing and kept feeling a little adrift. Her descriptions of her cats and her love of her cats was endearing and quite sweet. The loss of a beloved pet is always devastating and I definitely felt her loss. It was more the discussions of her life and potential decisions were off-putting because I couldn't connect with author. It felt like a glass pane was between the author and the reader to me. You may not have the same reaction.If you enjoy reading about people and their pets, give it a read. Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.
Finding rating and reviewing this difficult, for the most part I enjoyed it. The tone of the book kept changing and kept feeling a little adrift. Her descriptions of her cats and her love of her cats was endearing and quite sweet. The loss of a beloved pet is always devastating and I definitely felt her loss. It was more the discussions of her life and potential decisions were off-putting because I couldn't connect with author. It felt like a glass pane was between the author and the reader to me. You may not have the same reaction.If you enjoy reading about people and their pets, give it a read. Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.
June 6, 2025
I've been trying to find books about cats for a while and have noticed how most of them tend to be quite sad. So when I saw this one up to be requested, I wondered if it'd fall into that sad themes category as well. And the answer is yes but also no. In the same way cats are complex, we cat lovers are as well. And that's reflected in these books.
And the thing that is important to mention early on in the review, for those who won't finish reading it, is trigger warnings. As a fan of horror, I've watched so many movies in which people are murdered in the most horrible ways one can imagine. But harm a dog or a cat and, even if it's clearly fiction, and people walk out of that movie. We see those animals as vulnerable and can't see or read about them being hurt. I'm not someone who looks at trigger warnings (but I appreciate when they're posted for others who do need to check that before reading) and yet if I hear there's a depiction of animal abuse, I'm not reading that book. So I feel I need to point out this book includes mentions of cats dying and being hurt. Not in an exploitative way, though. But it was hard to read anyway so it's worth mentioning. Reading about the grief of losing a cat when you've been through that before is not easy.
This is a short book but not one to read in one sitting, in my opinion. While reading, I often stopped to think about what I just read or to reread a particular section. It's written in a way that encourages us to think, to truly absorb the conclusions the author reaches and compare them to how we see those same things. There's a lot in this book that can start conversations with fellow animal lovers. I really enjoyed the cats vs dogs section. My friend group is divided between cat lovers and dog lovers. And while the cat lovers like dogs too (me being the exception but just because I'm afraid of dogs), the dog lovers tend to dislike cats. It's definitely worth looking at the why and the author makes good points that can explain this dynamic. We look at personality traits that can play a big part in the choice, for example. We often limit it to dog lovers being people who don't accept rejection easily or, taking things a bit further, who struggle with the concept of consent. There is a superiority complex that cat lovers have but I had never seen it pointed out the way this author did. Obviously, this doesn't apply to every single person who has a cat or a dog but it explains a very real and obvious dynamic too well. Some might feel ashamed of realising that, but I embrace it. I've always been aware of my superiority complex.
There is some information in this book about cats that I found very interesting. I was a history major for a minute and learned about how humans domesticated animals, But it was a brief mention and we focused mostly on wolves/dogs. So learning about the feline side of this process was fun. Plus all the information about the behaviour of cats, which is always fascinating. They're such a mystery but also so simple at the same time.
Since this book talks about society and its relationship with cats, not mentioning the "crazy cat lady" stereotype would have been a crime. I enjoyed how it was linked to a woman's choice to have children. Why do we see a cat as a "replacement" for a child? What does that mean? Is it normal to say your cat is your son or daughter? Even if it's as a joke. Now that more and more women (me included) decide not to have children, this is a great topic. The author focused more on her own personal choice, which is fine since this book is also marketed as a memoir. But I'd have loved for that topic to be expanded a bit more.
I adored the few photos we got of the author's cats. One of them looked so much like my cat Maddie. And I overall enjoyed the themes covered in the book.
It's mostly cat lovers who will look at the cover and title and want to read the book. But I think everyone can benefit from reading it and thinking about these themes.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Academic and NetGalley for providing me with an early copy of this book.
And the thing that is important to mention early on in the review, for those who won't finish reading it, is trigger warnings. As a fan of horror, I've watched so many movies in which people are murdered in the most horrible ways one can imagine. But harm a dog or a cat and, even if it's clearly fiction, and people walk out of that movie. We see those animals as vulnerable and can't see or read about them being hurt. I'm not someone who looks at trigger warnings (but I appreciate when they're posted for others who do need to check that before reading) and yet if I hear there's a depiction of animal abuse, I'm not reading that book. So I feel I need to point out this book includes mentions of cats dying and being hurt. Not in an exploitative way, though. But it was hard to read anyway so it's worth mentioning. Reading about the grief of losing a cat when you've been through that before is not easy.
This is a short book but not one to read in one sitting, in my opinion. While reading, I often stopped to think about what I just read or to reread a particular section. It's written in a way that encourages us to think, to truly absorb the conclusions the author reaches and compare them to how we see those same things. There's a lot in this book that can start conversations with fellow animal lovers. I really enjoyed the cats vs dogs section. My friend group is divided between cat lovers and dog lovers. And while the cat lovers like dogs too (me being the exception but just because I'm afraid of dogs), the dog lovers tend to dislike cats. It's definitely worth looking at the why and the author makes good points that can explain this dynamic. We look at personality traits that can play a big part in the choice, for example. We often limit it to dog lovers being people who don't accept rejection easily or, taking things a bit further, who struggle with the concept of consent. There is a superiority complex that cat lovers have but I had never seen it pointed out the way this author did. Obviously, this doesn't apply to every single person who has a cat or a dog but it explains a very real and obvious dynamic too well. Some might feel ashamed of realising that, but I embrace it. I've always been aware of my superiority complex.
There is some information in this book about cats that I found very interesting. I was a history major for a minute and learned about how humans domesticated animals, But it was a brief mention and we focused mostly on wolves/dogs. So learning about the feline side of this process was fun. Plus all the information about the behaviour of cats, which is always fascinating. They're such a mystery but also so simple at the same time.
Since this book talks about society and its relationship with cats, not mentioning the "crazy cat lady" stereotype would have been a crime. I enjoyed how it was linked to a woman's choice to have children. Why do we see a cat as a "replacement" for a child? What does that mean? Is it normal to say your cat is your son or daughter? Even if it's as a joke. Now that more and more women (me included) decide not to have children, this is a great topic. The author focused more on her own personal choice, which is fine since this book is also marketed as a memoir. But I'd have loved for that topic to be expanded a bit more.
I adored the few photos we got of the author's cats. One of them looked so much like my cat Maddie. And I overall enjoyed the themes covered in the book.
It's mostly cat lovers who will look at the cover and title and want to read the book. But I think everyone can benefit from reading it and thinking about these themes.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Academic and NetGalley for providing me with an early copy of this book.
September 24, 2025
Although I loved some parts of this book, like the relationship the author has with her fur babies I can’t give it more that 3⭐️.
Being a non fiction celebrating Cats , The descriptions of animal cruelty in 2 chapters were unnecessary and crude.
Being a non fiction celebrating Cats , The descriptions of animal cruelty in 2 chapters were unnecessary and crude.
August 27, 2025
As a cat lover, how could I not absolutely adore this book?
The author depicts the stories and lives of her cats, past and present, in a way that allows the reader to feel the love she has for them.
I will say that there are mentions of pet death in this book. I know this can be triggering for some.
Definitely giving my cats a big squeeze after this one.
The author depicts the stories and lives of her cats, past and present, in a way that allows the reader to feel the love she has for them.
I will say that there are mentions of pet death in this book. I know this can be triggering for some.
Definitely giving my cats a big squeeze after this one.
September 7, 2025
Cat, by Rebecca van Laer, is a lovely mini memoir of sorts where she shares a small window of her life with cats, relating to the science of cats, humanity’s history with cats, and a range of topics including having children (or not), capitalism, and caring for the world. These little vignettes from Van Laer explore who she is, and who we are as humanity, with and without our cats.
At different times, Cat is introspective, joyful, and grief-filled. It’s a short, warm book, perfect for a rainy weekend afternoon.
TW: van Laer does discuss animal cruelty and animal death.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Academic and NetGalley for the eARC.
At different times, Cat is introspective, joyful, and grief-filled. It’s a short, warm book, perfect for a rainy weekend afternoon.
TW: van Laer does discuss animal cruelty and animal death.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Academic and NetGalley for the eARC.
August 30, 2025
Obviously I enjoyed this little book of essays about the relationship between people and their cats. I recently lost my precious cat of 17 years and I myself have had many of the same feelings about my fluffs as the author does. Yes some of the issues with cats that she describes (feral cats) are hard to read but if you love cats then you need to grapple with them. Bottom line, if you love cats, this is the quick read for you. Thank you to the author, the publisher Bloomsbury Academic and #netgalley for an advance ecopy in exchange for an honest review.
September 28, 2025
I loved Cat, and you would be wrong to think that I love every book that centers around cats. I like some, but they aren’t all winners for me. This one was an easy five stars, though.
In Cat, Rebecca Van Laer vulnerably reflected upon her life through the cats she‘s loved, and philosophized on cats themselves. I thought it was poignantly told and often relatable.
I must tell you this, though: Do not bring this book to read in the waiting room of your doctor‘s appointment. I learned the hard way. Thankfully, there were tissues nearby.
I am immensely grateful to Rebecca van Laer and Bloomsbury Publishing for my copy. All opinions are my own.
In Cat, Rebecca Van Laer vulnerably reflected upon her life through the cats she‘s loved, and philosophized on cats themselves. I thought it was poignantly told and often relatable.
I must tell you this, though: Do not bring this book to read in the waiting room of your doctor‘s appointment. I learned the hard way. Thankfully, there were tissues nearby.
I am immensely grateful to Rebecca van Laer and Bloomsbury Publishing for my copy. All opinions are my own.
July 20, 2025
Our cats and our lives
The Book Description of Cats describes it as a “playful and tender meditation on cats and their people”, just what I needed! The first part of the book lived up to this description beautifully and gave me a smile, a laugh, or an “aww” on practically every page. The cats are an important part of their humans’ lives. They even have jobs! Toby is Rebecca and Steve’s life coach; Gus is Steve’s nanny!
As the book progressed, the tone rather changed. Cat is part of the Object Lessons series, and this was the probable impetus for the author to look at the broader picture of her life. She describes her difficult relationship with her mother, her feelings about marriage and her husband, and especially her mixed emotions about having children. The idea of having cats versus having human children is an interesting one, but the author’s emotional turmoil about childbearing was more than I expected or wanted to read. As the book progressed, the tone became much more downbeat, even when discussing cats, such as Chapter 8, The Tail End, which discusses topics like cat overpopulations, they damage they do, and mass killings of unwanted cats.
The final chapter reiterates the author’s love of her cats and especially the comfort they give her when life lets her down, but it ends with a sentence that was a real downer.
If, like me, you are looking for a book celebrating the pleasures and benefits of living with cats, you will find that in Cat, but you might want to stop reading halfway through.
I received an advance review copy of this book from Edelweiss and Bloomsbury Publishing.
The Book Description of Cats describes it as a “playful and tender meditation on cats and their people”, just what I needed! The first part of the book lived up to this description beautifully and gave me a smile, a laugh, or an “aww” on practically every page. The cats are an important part of their humans’ lives. They even have jobs! Toby is Rebecca and Steve’s life coach; Gus is Steve’s nanny!
As the book progressed, the tone rather changed. Cat is part of the Object Lessons series, and this was the probable impetus for the author to look at the broader picture of her life. She describes her difficult relationship with her mother, her feelings about marriage and her husband, and especially her mixed emotions about having children. The idea of having cats versus having human children is an interesting one, but the author’s emotional turmoil about childbearing was more than I expected or wanted to read. As the book progressed, the tone became much more downbeat, even when discussing cats, such as Chapter 8, The Tail End, which discusses topics like cat overpopulations, they damage they do, and mass killings of unwanted cats.
The final chapter reiterates the author’s love of her cats and especially the comfort they give her when life lets her down, but it ends with a sentence that was a real downer.
If, like me, you are looking for a book celebrating the pleasures and benefits of living with cats, you will find that in Cat, but you might want to stop reading halfway through.
I received an advance review copy of this book from Edelweiss and Bloomsbury Publishing.
June 9, 2025
The Object Lessons books are " a series of short, beautifully designed books about the hidden lives of ordinary things." But within that remit, the authors have a lot of flexibility. Most of the time they are a history of engineering, popularization or development of the named object. Other times, the named object is more so a framing device for the author to spin off into oddly tangential journeys of self discovery (see Hotel). In other words, results can sometimes be mixed. Fortunately, Cat by Rebecca van Laer, balances the personal with the informational.
Through 9 chapters, van Laer frames the narrative with her own life, begining from chapter 1 with the family moving to a larger house, not for a dog and kids, but so the cats (Gus and Toby) can have better windows to enjoy. While sharing her own life story, the prominent role cats have played in it, van Laer also looks back to the domestication of cats, or perhaps the domestication of humans for the pleasure of cats. Chapters explored pop culture, the life cycle of cats, the results of research studies and many other cat related topics.
Recommended to readers of the Object Lessons Series, Cat enthusiasts or readers of contemporary life.
I received a free digital version of this book via NetGalley thanks to the publisher.
Through 9 chapters, van Laer frames the narrative with her own life, begining from chapter 1 with the family moving to a larger house, not for a dog and kids, but so the cats (Gus and Toby) can have better windows to enjoy. While sharing her own life story, the prominent role cats have played in it, van Laer also looks back to the domestication of cats, or perhaps the domestication of humans for the pleasure of cats. Chapters explored pop culture, the life cycle of cats, the results of research studies and many other cat related topics.
Recommended to readers of the Object Lessons Series, Cat enthusiasts or readers of contemporary life.
I received a free digital version of this book via NetGalley thanks to the publisher.
May 30, 2025
Welcome to Rebecca’s world of cats. She demystifies the myths of cats that lead to mistreatment and feral cat colonies. Removing the stigma that cats are mean with personal stories about her own cats. The readers navigate grief with Rebecca through pet loss and raising more cats. This cat lady is not an angry lady sitting in a bath robe, but a woman who has fallen in love with the way cats interact with the world with affection.
Think about the way we interact with animals and cats. Our relationship with pets are sometimes taken for granted. Rebecca looks at people objectively based in how they miscategorize cats. She also comments on how people tend to and take cat allergies more aggressively than dog allergies.
These little tidbits of information with personal stories was profound within these short pages. The only thing I wanted more of was more historical facts related to domesticating cats. Purrfectly delectable read here. Thank you Netgalley and Bloomsbury Academic for an advanced digital copy in exchange for an honest review!
Read more of my reviews and reccomended reads on https://brujerialibrary.wordpress.com !
Think about the way we interact with animals and cats. Our relationship with pets are sometimes taken for granted. Rebecca looks at people objectively based in how they miscategorize cats. She also comments on how people tend to and take cat allergies more aggressively than dog allergies.
These little tidbits of information with personal stories was profound within these short pages. The only thing I wanted more of was more historical facts related to domesticating cats. Purrfectly delectable read here. Thank you Netgalley and Bloomsbury Academic for an advanced digital copy in exchange for an honest review!
Read more of my reviews and reccomended reads on https://brujerialibrary.wordpress.com !
August 1, 2025
All books in the Object Lessons series have some element of personal reflection. this one is more of a memoir than many. It's not so much about 'cat' as it is about Gus and Toby (Rebecca's cats) and other cats she has lived with, loved and lost. Which is not to say there are not facts about cats scattered throughout this book - but that's not the point. This is a memoir, with the cats as a focus as Rebecca contemplates life, the meaning of work and what she wants for her future. I really enjoyed this, maybe becasue my story and my struggles are not too different from hers.
Thanks to NetGalley and Bloomsbury Press for a free e-Arc in exchange for an honest review.
Thanks to NetGalley and Bloomsbury Press for a free e-Arc in exchange for an honest review.
May 31, 2025
A meditation on a life with cats as one's partner or child instead of a human partner or child. This is a book for cat lovers who will understand the intensity of the love and devotion to a cat, along with the grief of losing a cat or fear of its disappearance or death. Interspersed are factual reflections on how cats came to be domesticated, their past as feral, and how their personalities have changed as they have changed from necessities in the enviornment to beloved household members.
Thanks to NetGalley and Edelweiss Plus for the eARC.
Thanks to NetGalley and Edelweiss Plus for the eARC.
June 1, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Cat lovers will enjoy this short book. There's a bit of history and philosophy to it and of course, stories about the author's cats. I love that she adopts adult cats instead of kittens. And I can relate to not wanting children. I much prefer my dogs and cat.
Cat lovers will enjoy this short book. There's a bit of history and philosophy to it and of course, stories about the author's cats. I love that she adopts adult cats instead of kittens. And I can relate to not wanting children. I much prefer my dogs and cat.
June 12, 2025
A beautifully written book about cats by an absolute cat lover. Much of what the author was saying resonated with me, being a cat obsessive myself, and I throughly enjoyed this. My only frown was towards the end when cat cruelty was discussed. It burst my bubble. Remove it altogether, we don’t need to read about these things.
Thanks to Bloomsbury Academic and NetGalley for this ARC =^._.^=
Thanks to Bloomsbury Academic and NetGalley for this ARC =^._.^=
October 1, 2025
Thank you to Bloomsbury Academic, the author and NetGalley for a DRC in return for an honest review
**First, a trigger warning: there is a particularly gratuitous scene involving a kitten dying that appears unexpectedly and is described quite graphically. This moment genuinely shocked me. So bear that in mind if you are easily triggered. If you would like to read the book but avoid this paragraph, I can tell you that this takes place about ⅔ of the way through Chapter 2: The Cat’s Pyjamas**
This book is short and sweet. In a nutshell, if you love cats you will love this book. If you don't like cats then you probably won't.
Rebecca van Laer blends memoir with cultural reflection in a way that feels part personal essay, part meditation on what cats mean in our lives. She writes movingly about pet loss and grief, balancing humour with sorrow in concise but powerful prose. I really appreciated the photos of the author's beautiful cats sprinkled throughout the book.
The book includes lovely turns of phrase and memorable anecdotes. One that stood out to me:
There are also fascinating facts, such as the cautionary tale of Macquarie Island: when the feral cats were eradicated there in 2000, rabbit populations exploded, destroying vegetation and triggering landslides that devastated penguin colonies (a story also explored in Abigail Tucker’s The Lion in the Living Room).
This is my first foray into Bloomsbury’s Object Lessons series - a collection of short books that take everyday objects or phenomena (blankets, refrigerators, silence, passports, etc.) as a launching point for reflection and exploring culture, history and philosophy. I will definitely start delving into the rest of them - there are currently over a hundred to choose from.
What resonated most with me were the sections on grief and love. Van Laer writes with great tenderness about her cats - Toby, Gus, and Milton - and what it means to love creatures whose lifespans are far too short. We lost one of our 3 cats, Bella - our beautiful short haired Tuxedo cat - a couple of years ago and nothing prepares you for that final visit to the Vets with them and the terrible guilt that you have to learn to live with. The author captures that truth with clarity.
Beautifully written, often poignant and occasionally difficult, Cat is a thoughtful meditation on the bonds we form with animals and the grief we inevitably face when those bonds are broken.
#Cat #NetGalley #ObjectLessons
**First, a trigger warning: there is a particularly gratuitous scene involving a kitten dying that appears unexpectedly and is described quite graphically. This moment genuinely shocked me. So bear that in mind if you are easily triggered. If you would like to read the book but avoid this paragraph, I can tell you that this takes place about ⅔ of the way through Chapter 2: The Cat’s Pyjamas**
This book is short and sweet. In a nutshell, if you love cats you will love this book. If you don't like cats then you probably won't.
Rebecca van Laer blends memoir with cultural reflection in a way that feels part personal essay, part meditation on what cats mean in our lives. She writes movingly about pet loss and grief, balancing humour with sorrow in concise but powerful prose. I really appreciated the photos of the author's beautiful cats sprinkled throughout the book.
The book includes lovely turns of phrase and memorable anecdotes. One that stood out to me:
One of the author's cats "develops an appetite for cardboard boxes and soon the passion extends toward books: the covers of paperbacks ripped to shreds and then the pages and then hardcovers too. He has consumed more of Wolf Hall than I managed to.”
There are also fascinating facts, such as the cautionary tale of Macquarie Island: when the feral cats were eradicated there in 2000, rabbit populations exploded, destroying vegetation and triggering landslides that devastated penguin colonies (a story also explored in Abigail Tucker’s The Lion in the Living Room).
This is my first foray into Bloomsbury’s Object Lessons series - a collection of short books that take everyday objects or phenomena (blankets, refrigerators, silence, passports, etc.) as a launching point for reflection and exploring culture, history and philosophy. I will definitely start delving into the rest of them - there are currently over a hundred to choose from.
What resonated most with me were the sections on grief and love. Van Laer writes with great tenderness about her cats - Toby, Gus, and Milton - and what it means to love creatures whose lifespans are far too short. We lost one of our 3 cats, Bella - our beautiful short haired Tuxedo cat - a couple of years ago and nothing prepares you for that final visit to the Vets with them and the terrible guilt that you have to learn to live with. The author captures that truth with clarity.
Beautifully written, often poignant and occasionally difficult, Cat is a thoughtful meditation on the bonds we form with animals and the grief we inevitably face when those bonds are broken.
#Cat #NetGalley #ObjectLessons
October 1, 2025
To view on Rainy Day's Books, Video Games and Other Writings: https://rainyday.blog/2025/10/01/book...
Rating: 3.5 stars
I received a digital copy of this book through the publisher on NetGalley for an honest review. Cat is a philosophical nonfiction piece that switches between talking about the cats the author and her husband have in their lives and bringing up interesting philosophical thoughts regarding cats.
I found this short nonfiction book charming for the content within its pages, whenever Rebecca would talk about her cats. As a cat lover myself, I found her experience of raising cats relatable, as a lot of the struggles she experienced with having cats were similar to mine. For example, when she talked about when her one cat disappeared, only months later, she received a phone call from a stranger that they had found her cat, who was two hours away from where she currently lived at the time. That experience was relatable to me because our family had a similar experience with one of our cats, the one time when someone had posted on one of the neighborhood sites a picture asking about a cat, and it was one of ours.
I found these stories of her sharing her experiences of raising her cats enjoyable because they were relatable to me as a reader. Even the segment where she describes her grief in this book was relatable to me. Animals that have been a part of your life for so long, you see them as family, so it was difficult for me not to get emotional whenever she talked about the loss of one of her cats in her life. And I found these aspects of Cat enjoyable to read.
The aspects of this book that I didn’t quite enjoy were when Rebecca would talk about cats in a philosophical and cultural way. As in, the way in which cats are in society and are described. Not because I didn’t understand what I was reading or anything. Because I feel like it didn’t flow overall with Rebecca talking about her cats, or add anything to the narrative she was trying to create. Yes, I get her talking about the stereotypes of women who have cats but don’t have children, but I felt at times some of the topics she discussed with regard to cats had nothing to do with her and her husband’s situation regarding their cats. Then again, this was my first time reading a book that was one of many in the Object Lessons series, and maybe a lot of books in this series are structured in this way.
Cat was an enjoyable and charming read that I recommend to anyone like me who loves animals, especially cats, and is set to publish tomorrow, October 2, 2025, for anyone interested in giving this book a read.
Rating: 3.5 stars
I received a digital copy of this book through the publisher on NetGalley for an honest review. Cat is a philosophical nonfiction piece that switches between talking about the cats the author and her husband have in their lives and bringing up interesting philosophical thoughts regarding cats.
I found this short nonfiction book charming for the content within its pages, whenever Rebecca would talk about her cats. As a cat lover myself, I found her experience of raising cats relatable, as a lot of the struggles she experienced with having cats were similar to mine. For example, when she talked about when her one cat disappeared, only months later, she received a phone call from a stranger that they had found her cat, who was two hours away from where she currently lived at the time. That experience was relatable to me because our family had a similar experience with one of our cats, the one time when someone had posted on one of the neighborhood sites a picture asking about a cat, and it was one of ours.
I found these stories of her sharing her experiences of raising her cats enjoyable because they were relatable to me as a reader. Even the segment where she describes her grief in this book was relatable to me. Animals that have been a part of your life for so long, you see them as family, so it was difficult for me not to get emotional whenever she talked about the loss of one of her cats in her life. And I found these aspects of Cat enjoyable to read.
The aspects of this book that I didn’t quite enjoy were when Rebecca would talk about cats in a philosophical and cultural way. As in, the way in which cats are in society and are described. Not because I didn’t understand what I was reading or anything. Because I feel like it didn’t flow overall with Rebecca talking about her cats, or add anything to the narrative she was trying to create. Yes, I get her talking about the stereotypes of women who have cats but don’t have children, but I felt at times some of the topics she discussed with regard to cats had nothing to do with her and her husband’s situation regarding their cats. Then again, this was my first time reading a book that was one of many in the Object Lessons series, and maybe a lot of books in this series are structured in this way.
Cat was an enjoyable and charming read that I recommend to anyone like me who loves animals, especially cats, and is set to publish tomorrow, October 2, 2025, for anyone interested in giving this book a read.
December 7, 2025
Brief Premise: a mix of the author’s experiences with cats and discussions of human-cat relationships throughout history.
I would recommend “Cat” to other cat lovers with the caveat to please check content warnings.
I should not have read this while on vacation away from my cats, because it made me miss them so much more. I had so much fun learning about the author’s cats’ various quirks and personalities!
Like the author of “Cat”, I adopted Maze while I was in graduate school and struggling with my mental health. I agree with Rebecca, that the joy of being a cat’s favorite is incomparable. Being greeted by a little cat who runs to greet me and trills her happiness when she sees me makes my heart feel like it could burst. And MK, my little piranha, is my little baby and lets me hold her like one—even though she expresses such glee in biting my legs every day.
This book does not shy away from the darker realities that happen to indoor-outdoor cats, outdoor cats, feral cats, and cat colonies. The importance of spay-neuter was discussed at length, including what desperate humans do and have done when they feel overwhelmed by the number of cats in their care. Please spay & neuter your cats and cats you care for!
A huge thank you to Rebecca and her publisher for sending us all a free copy to read!
Trigger warnings include: pet death, pet loss, animal abuse, animal death
I would recommend “Cat” to other cat lovers with the caveat to please check content warnings.
I should not have read this while on vacation away from my cats, because it made me miss them so much more. I had so much fun learning about the author’s cats’ various quirks and personalities!
Like the author of “Cat”, I adopted Maze while I was in graduate school and struggling with my mental health. I agree with Rebecca, that the joy of being a cat’s favorite is incomparable. Being greeted by a little cat who runs to greet me and trills her happiness when she sees me makes my heart feel like it could burst. And MK, my little piranha, is my little baby and lets me hold her like one—even though she expresses such glee in biting my legs every day.
This book does not shy away from the darker realities that happen to indoor-outdoor cats, outdoor cats, feral cats, and cat colonies. The importance of spay-neuter was discussed at length, including what desperate humans do and have done when they feel overwhelmed by the number of cats in their care. Please spay & neuter your cats and cats you care for!
A huge thank you to Rebecca and her publisher for sending us all a free copy to read!
Trigger warnings include: pet death, pet loss, animal abuse, animal death
September 18, 2025
I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for a fair review.
A deep dive into cat guardianship and how animals impact our lives, Cat is a fun little non-fiction that raises interesting thought points.
If you love cats, this is less of a history lesson or a focus on the creatures (it’s not a bunch of cat facts), but how a woman’s cats affected her life and helped her make some life decisions. You can relate to a lot of what she talks about regarding how they treat you and how different each cat can be.
There are some mentions of animal abuse and neglect, as she charts her life in relation to the multitude of cats that have been part of her life (some when she was a child), so this is not a fluffy (Ha) book about our lovely feline friends, but touches on lots of aspects of the critters’ lives.
The book also raises interesting talking points, like the difference between cat and dog lovers. I can’t really relate, as I’m both. I love cats for certain reasons and dogs for others. I will try to pet any pet, really, even snakes and I love lizards. I just love animals in general.
It also mentioned the concept of “cat ladies,” though not in enough depth to form a real critique. Personally, I think single women prefer cats because they require less care than a dog. You can leave a cat for a week with just a few check-ins, and it’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about coming home on time like you do a dog. “Cat lady” is said to be an insult, but I think that’s created by men who want to make it so, when really, a cat lady is a woman who is independent.
Tied to this, while the book has a sort of plot, it’s more about the ideas raised by events that happen in the author’s life, like her decision to try for a baby.
Overall, I enjoyed it, I thought the writing was solid and easy to follow, and the idea behind it was interesting too.
A deep dive into cat guardianship and how animals impact our lives, Cat is a fun little non-fiction that raises interesting thought points.
If you love cats, this is less of a history lesson or a focus on the creatures (it’s not a bunch of cat facts), but how a woman’s cats affected her life and helped her make some life decisions. You can relate to a lot of what she talks about regarding how they treat you and how different each cat can be.
There are some mentions of animal abuse and neglect, as she charts her life in relation to the multitude of cats that have been part of her life (some when she was a child), so this is not a fluffy (Ha) book about our lovely feline friends, but touches on lots of aspects of the critters’ lives.
The book also raises interesting talking points, like the difference between cat and dog lovers. I can’t really relate, as I’m both. I love cats for certain reasons and dogs for others. I will try to pet any pet, really, even snakes and I love lizards. I just love animals in general.
It also mentioned the concept of “cat ladies,” though not in enough depth to form a real critique. Personally, I think single women prefer cats because they require less care than a dog. You can leave a cat for a week with just a few check-ins, and it’ll be fine. You don’t need to worry about coming home on time like you do a dog. “Cat lady” is said to be an insult, but I think that’s created by men who want to make it so, when really, a cat lady is a woman who is independent.
Tied to this, while the book has a sort of plot, it’s more about the ideas raised by events that happen in the author’s life, like her decision to try for a baby.
Overall, I enjoyed it, I thought the writing was solid and easy to follow, and the idea behind it was interesting too.
August 24, 2025
This is a highly personal journey of the author through her life and how cats were often her guide. The relationship with her mother clearly had toxic consequences that permeated all facets of her life. But with her cats there was something so special. They often were the glue that held her together and past the many phobias she had developed.
She looks at her relationship, particularly with Toby and Gus through the lenses of what she thought she wanted and needed in life and through the lenses of what she thought was expected. She examined how they connected and compared it with the views of others. I think what she discovered when it was all said and done is that if we are lucky, we get to share the universe with the most amazing characters. Each is unique and our interactions are different. They are not better than one thing or worse. They just are. And if we are open, they will be our rocks and our centres and we will love them with all we have and they, each in his or her own way, will return that love a thousandfold.
Four purrs and two paws up.
She looks at her relationship, particularly with Toby and Gus through the lenses of what she thought she wanted and needed in life and through the lenses of what she thought was expected. She examined how they connected and compared it with the views of others. I think what she discovered when it was all said and done is that if we are lucky, we get to share the universe with the most amazing characters. Each is unique and our interactions are different. They are not better than one thing or worse. They just are. And if we are open, they will be our rocks and our centres and we will love them with all we have and they, each in his or her own way, will return that love a thousandfold.
Four purrs and two paws up.
September 21, 2025
Disclosure: I received an advance review copy of Cat from Bloomsbury Academic via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
Trigger Warnings: animal abuse, animal death, grief
Rebecca van Laer’s Cat, part of Bloomsbury’s Object Lessons series, blends memoir, cultural reflection, and philosophy to explore the bond between people and their feline companions. As a lifelong cat lover who recently experienced the loss of two beloved cats, I was drawn to van Laer’s tender accounts of her own companions. The stories of grief and remembrance resonated most deeply, capturing the quiet but profound love that defines life with cats.
While this slim volume offers a thoughtful meditation on what it means to live alongside cats, it leans heavily on anecdote and narrative. For me, the writing sometimes felt a little too shallow, and I found myself wishing for more depth in terms of science or animal psychology to balance the personal stories. At the same time, the inclusion of difficult material (accounts of abuse and threats cats face) though triggering at moments, felt necessary to acknowledge the reality our pets encounter beyond the safety of our homes.
What lingers after reading are the small, personal moments that remind us of why cats matter so much: their independence, their anarchic spirit, their refusal to conform to hierarchies. Finishing this book made me hold my own cat, Lola, a little closer, grateful for the fleeting and irreplaceable intimacy that comes with sharing life with them.
Cat is a light read, perhaps too light at times, but still enjoyable for those who already love cats. It is unlikely to convert skeptics, yet cat lovers will recognize themselves and their companions in its pages and may find comfort in its reflections on love, loss, and the joy of feline company.
Trigger Warnings: animal abuse, animal death, grief
Rebecca van Laer’s Cat, part of Bloomsbury’s Object Lessons series, blends memoir, cultural reflection, and philosophy to explore the bond between people and their feline companions. As a lifelong cat lover who recently experienced the loss of two beloved cats, I was drawn to van Laer’s tender accounts of her own companions. The stories of grief and remembrance resonated most deeply, capturing the quiet but profound love that defines life with cats.
While this slim volume offers a thoughtful meditation on what it means to live alongside cats, it leans heavily on anecdote and narrative. For me, the writing sometimes felt a little too shallow, and I found myself wishing for more depth in terms of science or animal psychology to balance the personal stories. At the same time, the inclusion of difficult material (accounts of abuse and threats cats face) though triggering at moments, felt necessary to acknowledge the reality our pets encounter beyond the safety of our homes.
What lingers after reading are the small, personal moments that remind us of why cats matter so much: their independence, their anarchic spirit, their refusal to conform to hierarchies. Finishing this book made me hold my own cat, Lola, a little closer, grateful for the fleeting and irreplaceable intimacy that comes with sharing life with them.
Cat is a light read, perhaps too light at times, but still enjoyable for those who already love cats. It is unlikely to convert skeptics, yet cat lovers will recognize themselves and their companions in its pages and may find comfort in its reflections on love, loss, and the joy of feline company.
December 19, 2025
Cat offers a heartfelt, thoughtful look at life with cats — their companionship, their quirks, and what it means to love and lose a pet.
Cat is a nonfiction collection of stories involving Rebecca's life with her two cats Toby and Gus. Her cats help her navigate grief, marriage, potential motherhood, and society as a whole. As a cat parent, I enjoyed reading through Rebecca's lens, and I would have read a longer memoir about her life through this lens. Since I look forward to seeing my cat Cordelia when I've been away, I felt seen reading this short and sweet book.
Cat is a nonfiction collection of stories involving Rebecca's life with her two cats Toby and Gus. Her cats help her navigate grief, marriage, potential motherhood, and society as a whole. As a cat parent, I enjoyed reading through Rebecca's lens, and I would have read a longer memoir about her life through this lens. Since I look forward to seeing my cat Cordelia when I've been away, I felt seen reading this short and sweet book.
July 11, 2025
I’ve been aware of Bloomsbury’s Object Lessons series for years, but this is the first time I’ve actually read one of the titles. I have no idea how representative it is, but I can say that I was impressed. Van Laer is a fine writer who skillfully mixes memoir elements with information and reflection on domestic felines. For the latter two components, she draws on works by philosopher John Gray, evolutionary biologist Jonathan Losos (who has a particular interest in cats), and professor emerita of English Katherine M. Rogers—among others. Also included are the views of Jonathan Franzen (a passionate birder and advocate for songbird conservation) and some stories about Doris Lessing and the Czech writer Bohumil Hrabal, two cat lovers who dealt with explosive overpopulations of friendly cats. Believe me, those accounts are distressing to read.
I particularly enjoyed the commentary on John Gray’s Feline Philosophy in which he outlines what we humans can learn from these animals in order to experience less suffering and greater equanimity. Like van Laer, I’m skeptical about Gray’s basic assumption that cats are essentially happy. I’ve seen cats demonstrate behaviours comparable those of traumatized humans. (I’ve also seen them slowly learn to trust.) Some are very sensitive to raised voices, any sign of distress in the people they live with, and changes in routine. One of our cats displayed ongoing agitation when her close feline friend died.
It should be noted that this is not a book about cute, fluffy “fur babies”. The author goes the extra mile to counterbalance her love for these companion animals with hard facts about their impact on wildlife, their tendency to breed uncontrollably, and the need to set limits on them. She sharply observes: “If dogs are our servants, cats are our shadows. On ships, across continents, in cities and in suburbs, trash dumps and nature preserves, they have followed us and our refuse, continuing our work of domination. We have fragmented the natural world; they have hunted in the cracks we create.” And, she concludes, they are perhaps “not so much domesticated by humans as accessory to us—not in the sense of a purse, but of a crime.” She is firm in her view that we can’t allow cats to have litter after litter, eat whatever they want, and—in short—“take over the world”; however, she’s also realistic about humans who don’t demonstrate much interest in their own negative impacts on the environment, never mind conscientiously managing cats.
The relationship between humans and cats has always been a somewhat uneasy one. The author comments that on average, humans do not like felines as much as canines. It’s not easy for people to admit to a dislike of dogs, a social species generally regarded as loyal and friendly, but folks often make no bones about their distaste for cats. Cats don’t obey or love enough; they’re independent, and they challenge you with their stares. They’re also more likely than dogs to be surrendered to shelters when a family member develops an allergy to their fur, even though a yearlong study from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey showed that there are comparable levels of sensitization to cat and dog allergens within the US population.
It’s common knowledge that cats were domesticated in Egypt, where they were valued for their ability to provide rodent control and eventually made it into the pantheon of that ancient civilization; however, the author notes that there’s a fairly long history of humans hating them in the time since. In medieval Europe, they were associated with the Devil. Suspected of being witches’ familiars, they were often punished alongside the persecuted women, even burned at the stake with them. Afterwards, their negative association with women continued. “The idea of the crazy cat lady,” the author writes, “is alive and well in certain circles—the belief that the worst possible fate is to fail to reproduce and end up surrounded by nonhuman creatures you love.”
Van Laer provides a few telling details about the place of cats in her difficult childhood. She spent her earliest years in the company of two cats—the elderly Anastasia and a young Siamese named Zoda—in a Manhattan apartment. The family then relocated to Georgia, with Zoda “shepherding” the introverted Rebecca through the upsetting transition from urban to rural living. It was hard for her to adjust to Southern culture in general, and to make friends or even speak at school in particular. Soon enough, her tense and chaotic family began to unravel. Her dad was often away on business, and Rebecca’s mother appears to have had difficulty managing the house and the children. When her parents actually were together, they were embroiled in their own problems.
Barely able to control themselves, they certainly didn’t attend to Rebecca and her brother or manage the “endless parade of cats” they’d taken in over the years. The animals had gone unneutered, unspayed, and largely uncared for. Van Laer describes the situation as hoarding, with all the attendant grief and horror. Some cats vanished, and one, Tigger, was killed, presumably by a local dog. Rebecca’s sorrow at his violent end was dismissed by her mother who felt that the children really just needed to understand that the death of pets was a part of life.
The van Laer parents ultimately divorced, by which time the author never wanted to see her mother again. She chose to move away and live with her dad. Until the divorce occurred, however, she had clearly relied on cats for the solace that had not been provided by her parents.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, van Laer later struggled with anxiety and low spirits as a graduate student. A variety of pharmaceuticals for anxiety and depression were prescribed, but they offered little help. It was only when the author adopted a cat that she began to experience a sense of wellbeing. She named him “Gus”—in memory of the “best” and most beloved of her childhood cats, Augustus, who had sadly vanished—and she vowed to make up for the neglect her earlier animal companions had endured. After a number of failed relationships, she found happiness with a sympathetic partner, Steven, an academic with a cat of his own.
A fair bit of the book tells about the couple’s experiences with their cats Gus and Toby: their move from an apartment to a house, the death of one of the cats in old age, the intense grief that ensued, and their adoption of Milton (a very affectionate tuxedo cat with feline immunodeficiency virus). Van Laer explains how their animal companions have shaped her and Steven’s lives, including the decisions about marriage and whether to have children. She challenges Pope Francis’s disparaging remarks about the selfishness of couples who choose not to have children and give their love to non-human companions. Her response is forceful and well worth reading.
I find it remarkable that so much information and food for thought has been fit into such a compact little book. In addition to what I’ve mentioned above, the author covers feline communication and the unique language each cat develops to communicate with his own humans. There’s also some passing commentary on the following: the shelter system; the controversy over whether cats are really the fine hunters they’re purported to be; cats as political symbols; where the legend of cats’ nine lives may have originated; the health issues of pedigree felines; and FIV—feline immunodeficiency virus.
For me, van Laer’s book was a terrific introduction to the Object Lessons series. Yes, there is sadness here, but there are moments of humour, too, and one is left with lots to think about.
Thank you to Net Galley and Bloomsbury for providing me with a digital advanced reader copy.
I particularly enjoyed the commentary on John Gray’s Feline Philosophy in which he outlines what we humans can learn from these animals in order to experience less suffering and greater equanimity. Like van Laer, I’m skeptical about Gray’s basic assumption that cats are essentially happy. I’ve seen cats demonstrate behaviours comparable those of traumatized humans. (I’ve also seen them slowly learn to trust.) Some are very sensitive to raised voices, any sign of distress in the people they live with, and changes in routine. One of our cats displayed ongoing agitation when her close feline friend died.
It should be noted that this is not a book about cute, fluffy “fur babies”. The author goes the extra mile to counterbalance her love for these companion animals with hard facts about their impact on wildlife, their tendency to breed uncontrollably, and the need to set limits on them. She sharply observes: “If dogs are our servants, cats are our shadows. On ships, across continents, in cities and in suburbs, trash dumps and nature preserves, they have followed us and our refuse, continuing our work of domination. We have fragmented the natural world; they have hunted in the cracks we create.” And, she concludes, they are perhaps “not so much domesticated by humans as accessory to us—not in the sense of a purse, but of a crime.” She is firm in her view that we can’t allow cats to have litter after litter, eat whatever they want, and—in short—“take over the world”; however, she’s also realistic about humans who don’t demonstrate much interest in their own negative impacts on the environment, never mind conscientiously managing cats.
The relationship between humans and cats has always been a somewhat uneasy one. The author comments that on average, humans do not like felines as much as canines. It’s not easy for people to admit to a dislike of dogs, a social species generally regarded as loyal and friendly, but folks often make no bones about their distaste for cats. Cats don’t obey or love enough; they’re independent, and they challenge you with their stares. They’re also more likely than dogs to be surrendered to shelters when a family member develops an allergy to their fur, even though a yearlong study from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey showed that there are comparable levels of sensitization to cat and dog allergens within the US population.
It’s common knowledge that cats were domesticated in Egypt, where they were valued for their ability to provide rodent control and eventually made it into the pantheon of that ancient civilization; however, the author notes that there’s a fairly long history of humans hating them in the time since. In medieval Europe, they were associated with the Devil. Suspected of being witches’ familiars, they were often punished alongside the persecuted women, even burned at the stake with them. Afterwards, their negative association with women continued. “The idea of the crazy cat lady,” the author writes, “is alive and well in certain circles—the belief that the worst possible fate is to fail to reproduce and end up surrounded by nonhuman creatures you love.”
Van Laer provides a few telling details about the place of cats in her difficult childhood. She spent her earliest years in the company of two cats—the elderly Anastasia and a young Siamese named Zoda—in a Manhattan apartment. The family then relocated to Georgia, with Zoda “shepherding” the introverted Rebecca through the upsetting transition from urban to rural living. It was hard for her to adjust to Southern culture in general, and to make friends or even speak at school in particular. Soon enough, her tense and chaotic family began to unravel. Her dad was often away on business, and Rebecca’s mother appears to have had difficulty managing the house and the children. When her parents actually were together, they were embroiled in their own problems.
Barely able to control themselves, they certainly didn’t attend to Rebecca and her brother or manage the “endless parade of cats” they’d taken in over the years. The animals had gone unneutered, unspayed, and largely uncared for. Van Laer describes the situation as hoarding, with all the attendant grief and horror. Some cats vanished, and one, Tigger, was killed, presumably by a local dog. Rebecca’s sorrow at his violent end was dismissed by her mother who felt that the children really just needed to understand that the death of pets was a part of life.
The van Laer parents ultimately divorced, by which time the author never wanted to see her mother again. She chose to move away and live with her dad. Until the divorce occurred, however, she had clearly relied on cats for the solace that had not been provided by her parents.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, van Laer later struggled with anxiety and low spirits as a graduate student. A variety of pharmaceuticals for anxiety and depression were prescribed, but they offered little help. It was only when the author adopted a cat that she began to experience a sense of wellbeing. She named him “Gus”—in memory of the “best” and most beloved of her childhood cats, Augustus, who had sadly vanished—and she vowed to make up for the neglect her earlier animal companions had endured. After a number of failed relationships, she found happiness with a sympathetic partner, Steven, an academic with a cat of his own.
A fair bit of the book tells about the couple’s experiences with their cats Gus and Toby: their move from an apartment to a house, the death of one of the cats in old age, the intense grief that ensued, and their adoption of Milton (a very affectionate tuxedo cat with feline immunodeficiency virus). Van Laer explains how their animal companions have shaped her and Steven’s lives, including the decisions about marriage and whether to have children. She challenges Pope Francis’s disparaging remarks about the selfishness of couples who choose not to have children and give their love to non-human companions. Her response is forceful and well worth reading.
I find it remarkable that so much information and food for thought has been fit into such a compact little book. In addition to what I’ve mentioned above, the author covers feline communication and the unique language each cat develops to communicate with his own humans. There’s also some passing commentary on the following: the shelter system; the controversy over whether cats are really the fine hunters they’re purported to be; cats as political symbols; where the legend of cats’ nine lives may have originated; the health issues of pedigree felines; and FIV—feline immunodeficiency virus.
For me, van Laer’s book was a terrific introduction to the Object Lessons series. Yes, there is sadness here, but there are moments of humour, too, and one is left with lots to think about.
Thank you to Net Galley and Bloomsbury for providing me with a digital advanced reader copy.
July 9, 2025
This book was an interesting read! Joining the series: Observations, this short story follows the authors experiences with cats. Each chapter was it's own tale and was a quick read. I enjoyed the photos of her cats throughout the book.
October 2, 2025
Happy publication day and thank you NetGalley for providing a free ARC in exchange of an honest review.
Big cat lover over here, one whose family doesn't wish to get another cat soon, but I'm working on convincing them otherwise. And like all cat lovers, I'm a sucker for a book about another fellow's experience with cats, especially when the book has pictures of said cats (which this mini-memoir does, and they are sooo cute). There were moments when I got exactly what I needed: a condensed story of several feline companions, their quirks described with loving humor and exasperation. Unfortunately the moment of loss (trigger warning for loss of a beloved pet, multiple times throughout the book) always lingers, large and clear in our mind. And yet we keep coming back for more, and each time we get a completely new experience, always ending in sadness.
But there were moments when I didn't get what the memoir was trying to do. We moved from the personal to the general abruptly, and the point being made was more vague than it needed to be. I was also unpleasantly surprised by the examples of animal cruelty included in the book. If I'm going to read about a person (other than the author) betraying the trust of a purring feline by shoving them in a bag and dispensing of them in a cruel manner, there'd better be a good reason for it--and I'm not sure this was the case here.
Overall, the memoir worked best for me when it focused on the cats, and worked least when we zoomed out on a societal level. I think the beauty of such stories is in their smallness. The author mentions having one of their stories rejected because it didn't say enough about the people, and I wonder if this is what informed her decisions on how to focus this memoir. If yes, I think that editor who rejected her story was wrong, and the author made a mistake. We didn't need to focus on the humans. By focusing on the cats we revealed so much more and delivered so much heart. All this to say: some parts really worked for me, and others did not.
Big cat lover over here, one whose family doesn't wish to get another cat soon, but I'm working on convincing them otherwise. And like all cat lovers, I'm a sucker for a book about another fellow's experience with cats, especially when the book has pictures of said cats (which this mini-memoir does, and they are sooo cute). There were moments when I got exactly what I needed: a condensed story of several feline companions, their quirks described with loving humor and exasperation. Unfortunately the moment of loss (trigger warning for loss of a beloved pet, multiple times throughout the book) always lingers, large and clear in our mind. And yet we keep coming back for more, and each time we get a completely new experience, always ending in sadness.
But there were moments when I didn't get what the memoir was trying to do. We moved from the personal to the general abruptly, and the point being made was more vague than it needed to be. I was also unpleasantly surprised by the examples of animal cruelty included in the book. If I'm going to read about a person (other than the author) betraying the trust of a purring feline by shoving them in a bag and dispensing of them in a cruel manner, there'd better be a good reason for it--and I'm not sure this was the case here.
Overall, the memoir worked best for me when it focused on the cats, and worked least when we zoomed out on a societal level. I think the beauty of such stories is in their smallness. The author mentions having one of their stories rejected because it didn't say enough about the people, and I wonder if this is what informed her decisions on how to focus this memoir. If yes, I think that editor who rejected her story was wrong, and the author made a mistake. We didn't need to focus on the humans. By focusing on the cats we revealed so much more and delivered so much heart. All this to say: some parts really worked for me, and others did not.
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