I received this book as a free ARC in return for an honest review.
The general idea of this book – a dystopian future where an authoritarian government has fitted all citizens with a ‘neuromod’ decide that dampens their emotions is a solid one which could be interesting to explore.
However, I unfortunately think this book needed a few more revisions to reach its potential and I overall found it lacking. With a bit more work this could have been a fun dystopian rebellion tale, however I think either the author has bitten off more than they can chew for their experience, or has not done enough drafts to really create a coherent story.
In the pros column, there are some nice turns of phrase here and there are places where the writing shows the capacity to be quite descriptive and evocative, and as I mentioned, the overall idea and concept for the book definitely have the capacity to be intriguing.
Unfortunately that is about as far as I can go with praise.
The world building is one of two really big problems for me. To start with, the story does not effectively set the scene, and that means it’s really difficult to understand what the status quo is before things start to change. I think particularly with a dystopian/rebellion type story, it’s vital to set the scene. I really needed to get a clearer picture of what Ziva and Myall were like before they started to want to challenge the system. For example, think of the Hunger Games – almost the entire first book is us seeing what the Capitol is like, what the districts are like, living through a Hunger Games. It sets up the world so by the time Katniss starts to lead a rebellion, we know exactly what they’re fighting against, and why.
In this book, Ziva is fretting against the constraints of the system from the first page. But I don’t really understand what the system is, or how it works yet, so I don’t really feel like I care about her rebellion. Even by more than halfway through the book, I wasn’t clear exactly what the neuromods could do, or how they did it. How did they read emotions? By what mechanism did they dampen them? Emotions are a cognitive process that can also be demonstrated by physical responses, but halfway through the book, we’re told that the NEW version of the neuromod could read vital signs and that was shocking, so what were the old ones doing? How were they reading emotions to know when to dampen them? Is it a drug injected through the device? Does it work on the electrical impulses of the brain? I have literally no idea, because it’s only even explained as a “dampening” effect.
I also have an issue with the way emotions are displayed. Considering the core premise of this book is that the Authority has removed the populace from their ability to feel strong emotions, honestly most of the characters seem to be experiencing a pretty full range most of the time. Feelings described as panic, warmth, fear, characters who smile and get frustrated and afraid. For the premise of this book to really hit home, I feel like much, much more work needed to be done on showing the pre-rebellion characters really not feeling much at all. We’re told over and over and over how much they want to feel and how they’ve had their humanity stripped and there’s no art or music, but Myall and Ziva manage to fall in love with their neuromods intact, they both feel fear and anxiety and anticipation. Yes, it is much harder to write characters who are truly without emotion . . . but that’s what you told us you were doing, so you really need to commit to it. I really don’t see much difference between these characters before and after their neuromods are deactivated – I’m just told how overwhelming their emotions are, but their actions seem entirely the same.
All of the technical discussions – of which there are a lot – seem really skimmed over and pseudo-sciency. Because I was never really clear how the neuromods worked, and the author didn’t seem to be either, all the talk of “Creating feedback loops” and “removing this component” seemed completely nonsensical and didn’t give any real sense of what was happening and if it was difficult or not. Which wouldn’t have been such a problem if there wasn’t SO much of it, but these sections felt nearly as frequent as the discussions of how dangerous everything was.
It's also very unclear exactly how the world functions – if people can’t fall in love or experience lust, is there a declining birth rate? Are you told who to marry? Are there edicts about having children? An expectation or duty to pair up and have babies, or to have casual sex and then produce babies? At what age do you get a neuromod? Is it surgical?
I honestly don’t know the answer to a single one of those questions, and while some of them might not impact the story too much, the fact that I’m thinking about these things means that the world isn’t fleshed out enough to feel real. The lack of substance makes the whole thing feel surface-level and flimsy.
This comes out in further issues where it feels as if the author has decided to write a book about a rebellion without really knowing how to start a rebellion. Ziva and Myall keep introducing people to their rebellion one at a time, by conveniently noticing people who “seem to feel the same way” (risky strategy) and revealing their plan.
My second really big issue with this book, which I see has been noted in other reviews, so I won’t harp on about it too much, is how repetitive it is. This, I think, is a product of a very tell-don’t-show style, and possibly of an underdeveloped plot. Every chapter seems to be a repeat of, Ziva and Myall go to work, they have a lot of significant eye contact, they discuss very illegal things out loud at their desks, and then they go to a second location and have some variation of
“This is so dangerous!”
“But we can’t live like this! They’ve stripped away our humanity! Don’t you want to feel things properly?”
“You’re right. We have to try.”
I can’t even tell you how many times that exact conversation happens. Sometimes even more than once in a single chapter. Sometimes more than once on a single page.
Every chapter is the same. There’s no real sense of connection between the characters, because the bonding is all skimmed over. We get told “and then we told each other stories of our childhood” or “We spent the next half an hour laughing” but we don’t actually see any of that on the page, so there’s no real sense of how the characters interact or respond to each other.
Overall, I just felt that the writing skill and narrative structure wasn’t really strong enough to create a clear sense of what the plot was supposed to be, how the characters were supposed to feel about each other, or how the world operated. I really wish the author had done a few more drafts of this one, because the potential is there but is unfortunately squandered with underdeveloped worldbuilding and writing.