***Spoiler Alert (and I don't even give a rat's ass)***
It's been a long long time since I've disliked a book so damn much. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did. Unlike many of my Goodreads friends (and to their utter bafflement), I, on occasion, love enjoying trashy reads. The kind of books that would be labelled a guilty pleasure if they weren't written so badly. In fact, I adore reading badly written PWP books. They make me laugh and make me smile, even as I write an utterly scathing review that ends with a contradictory line that reads 'I enjoyed it very much'. Anyway, the point is, I don't find myself disliking the entire experience of reading a book very often, even (and especially) the bad ones.
Which leaves a question that begs to be answered.
Why did I feel like buying an actual book copy just so I could puke on it, then defile it with a very gleeful smile?
Attracting Anthony is a novel based on Anthony Carrow, still trying to pull himself together after the devastating death of the love of his life. It started off uneventful but still decent, if rather cliche. And then it just went downhill from there.
You'll notice that this story is labelled under BDSM genre. It isn't. The BDSM element in this is a pathetic and stupid excuse to make the love interest an overbearing, childish, faux-Dom alpha whose attitude is apparently meant to make my panties drip. Meet Silver. (Yeah, that's his name. Was this meant to be a joke?) I am, I was, and I still will be in a million years, furious.
Predictably, this book fell under the umbrella of all those shifter novels who use the lovely 'mate bond' as an excuse to have insta-love. Usually I wouldn't care if I enjoyed the novel... But this is just one more thing to rant about. As per procedure, Silver (still cracking up) walked into a room, felt something was off, smelled something 'delicious' and yepp, you guessed it, love at first fucking sight. Honestly, it didn't work for Romeo and Juliet, I cannot fathom why anyone would think it would work for them. But oh wait! The author attempted to add some depth to his character with the line "I don't like pretty boys. They need too much attention. Give me a grateful average looking guy at any time." Yeah, because having a gay character make stereotypical, sweeping generalisations about others of the gay community endears him to me all the more. Of course.
And then, come cue, lovely Anthony rocks in with a glamour that dulls his appearance. Gee whiz, is it just me or was that a very scary coincidence? And what angers me is that after the author so nicely advocated the less attractive portion of the population, she then wasted that by making Anthony beautiful.
You know what would really amuse me if I wasn't so disgusted? I used to love stories about unassuming 'nerdy' girls who became miraculously beautiful once they took of their glasses. When I was 10. Makes me wonder because gee whiz once he took off his glamour...
Desire scented the air.
It took the alpha a moment to realize it poured off of all ten of the pack members sitting around the table, male and female, as they stared at the man behind me.
Are you fucking kidding me? Are you telling me that once he took off his glamour, everyone wanted to jump his pants. As if no one had personal preferences or at least self restraint. Fuck.
Oh no, but wait! I'm just getting this party started. I might as well start listing, or this will become entirely too long.
- To back track slightly, upon seeing Anthony's dead lover's name tattooed on his back, Silver's first thought was to kill the man for daring to touch Anthony. They hadn't even met each other yet. With no respect for what was obviously a very profound bond, no respect for boundaries and with this disgustingly psychotic sense of entitlement, that was his first thought.
"... this is Anthony. He's visiting here with a friend while trying to get over the death of his lover."
- I don't even know what to say. This behaviour is disgusting. You just aired this man's private sorrows and private business out on a mere introduction with the most pathetic and stupid justification I have seen in all my life. This is the first time he's tried to properly date after the death of his lover, and then that information was just casually given away to the first person available. That's just... Honestly, what the fuck?
- the first time they met, without yet even properly getting to know each other and confirming the other party's preference, our lovely Silver dictated what Anthony could or could not drink. Are you fucking serious? I don't give a fucking shit if this is BDSM novel and this is the author's idea of BDSM. There is no relationship here, there is no consent and certainly no fucking discussion, so there is no way of Silver knowing if this is something works well for Anthony, therefore is a blatant disregard for him.
- pet names. To be fair, that has never bugged, but every 'baby' and 'sweetheart' and 'honey' had me wanting to gouge my eyes.
I'm going to stop ranting about Silver here, but note that those quotes were found in the first 30%. So much stress in so little time, especially as this is a short novel...
I didn't hate Anthony, but something that annoyed me was that aside from being extraordinarily beautiful, he is: 1/4 God (grandson of Zeus), 1/4 fae and 1/2 witch. Oh and also an insanely rich and talented architect. I almost feel like my self esteem should be draining out of me, if only he was actually realistic. It reminds me of those days when I wrote love stories at the ripe age of 10 and made my heroes and heroines insanely amazeballs. It's funny that I find myself comparing this novel to fiction and concepts from my childhood.
I think I've ranted enough,
TL;DR In its 54 paged glory, I felt myself die a slow and painful death. This book is ridiculous and insulting, with a premise and various themes that can be likened to that of a child's idea of 'good fiction'. The BDSM element, which is one I would usually love, only served to anger me further with Silver's overbearing attitude (which I could easily see turn abusive in its restrictiveness). The characters were flat and fell short, and the secondary characters were even worse.
I apologise for the rant and blunt review, but I thought it'd be rather cathartic. Unfortunately, I think my blood pressure sky rocketed just looking through the book for quotes.
My advice: don't go for it. However, I also know I'm a bitch and things that don't click for me don't click so don't let this review stop you should you find this incredibly attractive.