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Argeneau #7
The Accidental Vampire
Ever since an accident turned her into a knockout vamp, Elvi Black's been catching her z's in a coffin, staying out of the sun, and giving up garlic. She knows there's more to being undead than what she saw in Dracula, but she can't very well ask her mortal friends about proper biting etiquette. But when her neighbors placed a personal ad for her in the local paper, she never imagined she'd meet Victor Argeneau, a vampire who could have his pick of any woman - dead or alive. Rich, powerful, and drop-dead gorgeous, Victor's the perfect man for a novice neck-biter like Elvi. He's willing to teach her everything he knows, but he'll have to do it fast. Someone's out to put a stake through her new vamp life, and only Victor can keep her safe - and satisfied - for all eternity.
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First published December 1, 2007
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About the author
Lynsay Sands
125 books12.2k followersLYNSAY SANDS is the nationally bestselling author who is known for her hysterical historicals as well as the popular Argeneau/Rogue Hunter vampire series. With her witty and charming personality, Sands describes books as, “Waking dreams or stories, tales to amuse, entertain and distract us from everyday life.” She’s been writing stories since grade school and considers herself incredibly lucky to be able to make a career out of it. Her hope is that readers can get away from their everyday stress through her stories, and if there are occasional uncontrollable fits of laughter, that’s just a big bonus. Visit her official website at www.lynsaysands.net.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 685 reviews
June 14, 2017
These books are pure cheesy vamp romance with a big helping of smut on the side. And, this one had a lot of stupid people that were entertaining as can be.
We have Elvi (NOT the plural of Elvis, as I thought. That would be Elvii.), who has been a female vampire for 5 years. She was turned without knowing what, how, or absolutely anything about vampire stuff. She never knew her sire, so she has basically had to figure this whole thing out by herself. Let's just say that I'm not exactly sure how Elvi has survived being a human for as long as she has, and there ARE plenty of manuals on that. Elvi is an idiot.
Well, at least she doesn't swear....
She figured that the best way to learn how to be a vampire is by watching the old Dracula movie.
Really, Elvi??
I mean, seriously, she could have done better watching Twilight.
So, for the past 5 years, she has been sleeping in a coffin full of dirt, dressing like Morticia Adams, stayed away from religious artifacts, avoided sunlight like the plague, got rid of every mirror in her house, and hasn't eaten. Her name is not even Elvi! She changed it from Ellen to sound vampier.
I mean, yes, it would have been helpful if she had a mentor. Someone to teach her how to vamp... I mean, we did have parents teach us to human.
Some do a better job than others..
But, still... she didn't even experiment at all! Never even tried a bite of food. Never tried to look in a mirror. Never tried sleeping in a bed.
So much stupid...
And, came up with the most epic thing to ever hit the television since Schoolhouse Rock. (look it up, kids. Especially the adverb song.)
By living like an idiot, Elvi has also mistakenly broken many vampire laws. Such as the number one law of: "don't out us, dude!" Again, if she had an ounce of intelligence, she would have realized that since she has never heard of vampires being real, it must be a secret. In other words, telling the entire town where you live that you are a vampire, and letting them speak freely about it is probably a bad idea. Plus, you know that there is always one in every group that is just waiting to pick up the torch and pitchfork with a wooden stake in their hand.
Awesome. I also need a new dress, some motor oil, bullets for my gun, and a birthday cake. How great is Walmart?
Victor is a vampire who is on the council - the vamp government. He is sent to check out what the hell is going on when there is an ad in the paper with a vamp girl looking for her one true love. Vamps only. No smokers or fatties. He shows up in town to find out that he is only Bachelor Number One in this scenario. There are a few more male vamps looking for a good time. It quickly becomes the Paranormal Bachelorette, so these dudes need to bring their A-game.
Weather... why are men obsessed with it? Along with maps, magic, and flags? All of those things suck.
So, this book has a lot of silly fun in it. I liked all of the characters, even if they weren't the brightest bulbs in the pack. I am hoping maybe some of the discarded bachelors end up with books later, so I'll be on the lookout for those.
We have Elvi (NOT the plural of Elvis, as I thought. That would be Elvii.), who has been a female vampire for 5 years. She was turned without knowing what, how, or absolutely anything about vampire stuff. She never knew her sire, so she has basically had to figure this whole thing out by herself. Let's just say that I'm not exactly sure how Elvi has survived being a human for as long as she has, and there ARE plenty of manuals on that. Elvi is an idiot.
Well, at least she doesn't swear....
She figured that the best way to learn how to be a vampire is by watching the old Dracula movie.
Really, Elvi??
I mean, seriously, she could have done better watching Twilight.
So, for the past 5 years, she has been sleeping in a coffin full of dirt, dressing like Morticia Adams, stayed away from religious artifacts, avoided sunlight like the plague, got rid of every mirror in her house, and hasn't eaten. Her name is not even Elvi! She changed it from Ellen to sound vampier.
I mean, yes, it would have been helpful if she had a mentor. Someone to teach her how to vamp... I mean, we did have parents teach us to human.
Some do a better job than others..
But, still... she didn't even experiment at all! Never even tried a bite of food. Never tried to look in a mirror. Never tried sleeping in a bed.
So much stupid...
And, came up with the most epic thing to ever hit the television since Schoolhouse Rock. (look it up, kids. Especially the adverb song.)
By living like an idiot, Elvi has also mistakenly broken many vampire laws. Such as the number one law of: "don't out us, dude!" Again, if she had an ounce of intelligence, she would have realized that since she has never heard of vampires being real, it must be a secret. In other words, telling the entire town where you live that you are a vampire, and letting them speak freely about it is probably a bad idea. Plus, you know that there is always one in every group that is just waiting to pick up the torch and pitchfork with a wooden stake in their hand.
Awesome. I also need a new dress, some motor oil, bullets for my gun, and a birthday cake. How great is Walmart?
Victor is a vampire who is on the council - the vamp government. He is sent to check out what the hell is going on when there is an ad in the paper with a vamp girl looking for her one true love. Vamps only. No smokers or fatties. He shows up in town to find out that he is only Bachelor Number One in this scenario. There are a few more male vamps looking for a good time. It quickly becomes the Paranormal Bachelorette, so these dudes need to bring their A-game.
Weather... why are men obsessed with it? Along with maps, magic, and flags? All of those things suck.
So, this book has a lot of silly fun in it. I liked all of the characters, even if they weren't the brightest bulbs in the pack. I am hoping maybe some of the discarded bachelors end up with books later, so I'll be on the lookout for those.
November 16, 2010
Oh boy, oh boy. My first real paranormal romance -- not YA, not vampire hunting with a side of relationship, but an honest-to-goodness real-live romance novel. I read it on the way to Chicago.
Ah, the eternal question: where the [insert expletive of choice:] are the editors?
I spend a lot of time wondering this. I see movies like, for example, The Da Vinci Code, and am astonished that apparently, in every single stage of production, everyone involved failed to notice -- and remark upon -- the fact that "This can't be this -- the fleur de lis!" is not a line that should have ever been written, let alone spoken on screen. Honestly, people, you all failed. What scriptwriter thought this was a good line? Why didn't the editor smack some sense into him? Didn't Tom Hanks notice that this tortured syntax was awkward to say, not to mention an untenable abuse of the English language, when he had to wrap his tongue around it? Why was the director okay with it? Didn't anyone notice that no one @(*#%^ing talks like that!?
Getting back to novels, I may blink at one or two grammatical mistakes or run-on sentences or really, really lousy pieces of dialogue, but I accept that even the best authors occasionally have brain blips and even the best editors can't catch everything.
But when it happens on practically every page, I start to get annoyed.
THE ACCIDENTAL VAMPIRE had what sounded like a cute premise: Elvi Black doesn't know how she became a vampire, and since she's taking her cues from Dracula, she's getting a lot of it wrong. When her best friend sneaks a personal ad for Elvi into the paper, the novice neckbiter meets up with Victor, an ancient vamp who will -- oh, never mind, I'm just going to quote the back of the book here, because this sort of campy goodness really should be shared:
FATE GAVE HER FANGS. HE'LL SHOW HER HOW TO USE THEM.
I figured, oh hey! Humor! They're not taking themselves too seriously! This can't be that excruciating!
Le sigh.
Elvi is an idiot. She goes five years without food (although not without blood, obviously) because vampires in movies don't eat. It never occurs to her to try it and see what happens. She gets rid of all the mirrors, despite the fact that she can see herself in them, because vampires don't have reflections. And the townspeople for whom she's a mascot of sorts are just as stupid as she is.
It wasn't funny; it wasn't even cute. It was just painfully, painfully stupid.
Along come her prospective beaux, all of whom are fine hunky males of the bloodsucking persuasion. And that was when I realized:
Holy crap, this really is porn for middle-aged women.
Not just sexual porn (although there's plenty of that sort of thing going on as well) but emotional porn. When the other vampires inform her that yes, she can actually eat, Elvi runs out immediately to the grocery store and is escorted by all the men, who enable her lack of impulse control enthusiastically. When she's laid up, they all bake for her. Everything she does, no matter how mundane or how careless, is fascinating to them.
They're not even romantic -- just slavish.
Then there's the explanation for vampirism. Vampires are from Atlantis, and they have things in their blood called "nanos" which keep them ever-young, but are fueled by blood.
Apparently, for all their highly advanced technology, these Atlantean fraktards weren't creative enough to figure out what came after their dangling prefix. Seriously, guys, nano-whats!?
The author spent a lot of time repeating herself, verbatim, sometimes within the same paragraph, all of which made it really hard to finish the book. I rarely ever skim a text rather than actually reading it, but at some points I had to or I wouldn't have been able to finish it.
She also goes to great lengths to emphasize that Elvi and her best friend Mabel are older women (in their sixties). How enlightened! Except it makes it that much harder to forgive the characters for having the reasoning powers of a developmentally disabled toddler. For most of the book, someone is trying to kill Elvi. Oh, the suspense! SPOILER: It's her neighbor and friend, whose son is wearing pale makeup and fake fangs. The neighbor learned from watching Dracula that the only way to cure vampirism is to kill the vampire who bit the kid. So they go through elaborate assassination attempts (despite the fact that they really like Elvi and don't object to her being a vampire) without ever bothering to notice that their son's pallor rubs off on his clothing.
Most of the suspense for me came from wondering who was putting the Stupid Juice in the town's water supply, but alas, that mystery was never resolved.
Oh, and as contrived and sappy as you can imagine the denouement being? Triple it.
I don't understand. There's just no reason for it to be this bad. Does anyone actually enjoy this sort of bad writing? I mean, I feel like you could have the domestic-man-porn and the sex and the vampirism and still have something that's not so frustrating to read. Sure, you're going to feel a little silly for reading it, but it shouldn't be this headache-inducing.
Ah, the eternal question: where the [insert expletive of choice:] are the editors?
I spend a lot of time wondering this. I see movies like, for example, The Da Vinci Code, and am astonished that apparently, in every single stage of production, everyone involved failed to notice -- and remark upon -- the fact that "This can't be this -- the fleur de lis!" is not a line that should have ever been written, let alone spoken on screen. Honestly, people, you all failed. What scriptwriter thought this was a good line? Why didn't the editor smack some sense into him? Didn't Tom Hanks notice that this tortured syntax was awkward to say, not to mention an untenable abuse of the English language, when he had to wrap his tongue around it? Why was the director okay with it? Didn't anyone notice that no one @(*#%^ing talks like that!?
Getting back to novels, I may blink at one or two grammatical mistakes or run-on sentences or really, really lousy pieces of dialogue, but I accept that even the best authors occasionally have brain blips and even the best editors can't catch everything.
But when it happens on practically every page, I start to get annoyed.
THE ACCIDENTAL VAMPIRE had what sounded like a cute premise: Elvi Black doesn't know how she became a vampire, and since she's taking her cues from Dracula, she's getting a lot of it wrong. When her best friend sneaks a personal ad for Elvi into the paper, the novice neckbiter meets up with Victor, an ancient vamp who will -- oh, never mind, I'm just going to quote the back of the book here, because this sort of campy goodness really should be shared:
FATE GAVE HER FANGS. HE'LL SHOW HER HOW TO USE THEM.
I figured, oh hey! Humor! They're not taking themselves too seriously! This can't be that excruciating!
Le sigh.
Elvi is an idiot. She goes five years without food (although not without blood, obviously) because vampires in movies don't eat. It never occurs to her to try it and see what happens. She gets rid of all the mirrors, despite the fact that she can see herself in them, because vampires don't have reflections. And the townspeople for whom she's a mascot of sorts are just as stupid as she is.
It wasn't funny; it wasn't even cute. It was just painfully, painfully stupid.
Along come her prospective beaux, all of whom are fine hunky males of the bloodsucking persuasion. And that was when I realized:
Holy crap, this really is porn for middle-aged women.
Not just sexual porn (although there's plenty of that sort of thing going on as well) but emotional porn. When the other vampires inform her that yes, she can actually eat, Elvi runs out immediately to the grocery store and is escorted by all the men, who enable her lack of impulse control enthusiastically. When she's laid up, they all bake for her. Everything she does, no matter how mundane or how careless, is fascinating to them.
They're not even romantic -- just slavish.
Then there's the explanation for vampirism. Vampires are from Atlantis, and they have things in their blood called "nanos" which keep them ever-young, but are fueled by blood.
Apparently, for all their highly advanced technology, these Atlantean fraktards weren't creative enough to figure out what came after their dangling prefix. Seriously, guys, nano-whats!?
The author spent a lot of time repeating herself, verbatim, sometimes within the same paragraph, all of which made it really hard to finish the book. I rarely ever skim a text rather than actually reading it, but at some points I had to or I wouldn't have been able to finish it.
She also goes to great lengths to emphasize that Elvi and her best friend Mabel are older women (in their sixties). How enlightened! Except it makes it that much harder to forgive the characters for having the reasoning powers of a developmentally disabled toddler. For most of the book, someone is trying to kill Elvi. Oh, the suspense! SPOILER: It's her neighbor and friend, whose son is wearing pale makeup and fake fangs. The neighbor learned from watching Dracula that the only way to cure vampirism is to kill the vampire who bit the kid. So they go through elaborate assassination attempts (despite the fact that they really like Elvi and don't object to her being a vampire) without ever bothering to notice that their son's pallor rubs off on his clothing.
Most of the suspense for me came from wondering who was putting the Stupid Juice in the town's water supply, but alas, that mystery was never resolved.
Oh, and as contrived and sappy as you can imagine the denouement being? Triple it.
I don't understand. There's just no reason for it to be this bad. Does anyone actually enjoy this sort of bad writing? I mean, I feel like you could have the domestic-man-porn and the sex and the vampirism and still have something that's not so frustrating to read. Sure, you're going to feel a little silly for reading it, but it shouldn't be this headache-inducing.
October 27, 2021
FURTHER THOUGHTS (10/26/21)
This was way too fluffy for me, and what irked me about the plot was that it was just the same scene. Rinse, wash, and repeat.
The opening set-up is cute enough. All the vampire bachelors answer Elvi's call for a vampire mate. In this universe, vampires want a mate because only with them, they can have some peace - not hear another person's thoughts - so a few vampires show up in a small town.
Elvi is an accidental vampire, and I actually love this concept so much.
However, it was killed by Elvi discovering a vampire rule and then going out to shop for a thing that she needs. In fact, by the end of this novel, I realized that in this world, vampires are, essentially, humans, since it's just nanos in the bloodstream. It's vampire cosplay.
Elvi discovers she can eat food, buys everything at her grocery store. She hams up the stereotypical "women love chocolate things" schtick, while all the vampire bachelors are also stereotypes. There is over-exaggerated Italian vampire, something-up-his-butt English vampire, and some other vampires too. They all become a happy little family, acting like Disney animal helpers to Elvi, helping her make pie, even after they all admit fairly on that she is not their mate.
I was intrigued by this lighthearted take, and I was so ready to like it. However, it sucked any fun from the plot with an over-reliance on hokey gender/cultural performativity (isn't it funny that women love cake?? Look at this guy being a cultural stereotype).
Top that off with nothing really interesting happening, when it could have been a lot of fun for the reader to discover with Elvi - well, what ARE the vampire rules a Sire would taught his child?
No. We didn't get that.
But we did get a half-baked murder plot that is then swept under the rug when we find out who the attempted killer is? I don't even know what that was all about. But I guess the whole laissez-faire attitude pretty much sums up this book.
This isn't the worst book that I've read, but I disagree with a lot of the literary choices that were made here.
INITIAL THOUGHTS (10/17/21)
Lynsay Sands, you have disappointed me for the last time.
I am making a pact with myself to not read any more historical or paranormal books by you. I will keep the feeling of coming across a funny vampire romance written by you (not this one), as a fond memory from my teenage years.
May write more about why this did not work for me. I feel bewildered that this series, along with a few others, are constantly at the top of vampire lists on GoodReads.
This was way too fluffy for me, and what irked me about the plot was that it was just the same scene. Rinse, wash, and repeat.
The opening set-up is cute enough. All the vampire bachelors answer Elvi's call for a vampire mate. In this universe, vampires want a mate because only with them, they can have some peace - not hear another person's thoughts - so a few vampires show up in a small town.
Elvi is an accidental vampire, and I actually love this concept so much.
However, it was killed by Elvi discovering a vampire rule and then going out to shop for a thing that she needs. In fact, by the end of this novel, I realized that in this world, vampires are, essentially, humans, since it's just nanos in the bloodstream. It's vampire cosplay.
Elvi discovers she can eat food, buys everything at her grocery store. She hams up the stereotypical "women love chocolate things" schtick, while all the vampire bachelors are also stereotypes. There is over-exaggerated Italian vampire, something-up-his-butt English vampire, and some other vampires too. They all become a happy little family, acting like Disney animal helpers to Elvi, helping her make pie, even after they all admit fairly on that she is not their mate.
I was intrigued by this lighthearted take, and I was so ready to like it. However, it sucked any fun from the plot with an over-reliance on hokey gender/cultural performativity (isn't it funny that women love cake?? Look at this guy being a cultural stereotype).
Top that off with nothing really interesting happening, when it could have been a lot of fun for the reader to discover with Elvi - well, what ARE the vampire rules a Sire would taught his child?
No. We didn't get that.
But we did get a half-baked murder plot that is then swept under the rug when we find out who the attempted killer is? I don't even know what that was all about. But I guess the whole laissez-faire attitude pretty much sums up this book.
This isn't the worst book that I've read, but I disagree with a lot of the literary choices that were made here.
INITIAL THOUGHTS (10/17/21)
Lynsay Sands, you have disappointed me for the last time.
I am making a pact with myself to not read any more historical or paranormal books by you. I will keep the feeling of coming across a funny vampire romance written by you (not this one), as a fond memory from my teenage years.
May write more about why this did not work for me. I feel bewildered that this series, along with a few others, are constantly at the top of vampire lists on GoodReads.
August 20, 2022
This is the fifth book I've read in the incredibly long Argeneau series of paranormal romances, in each of which (as I gather) a vampire meets his or her lifemate. Each story sets up a situation in which the two get together, and the different situations yield different levels of humor--this one was delightfully funny with four vamp suitors for one unusual female vamp.
Each book in the series gets an extra half star from me for the author's brilliant conception of what vampires are (nanobots! see my review of #1 A Quick Bite at https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..., point (1)). The present book begins with a very helpful two-page spread showing the genealogy of the extended Argeneau family--scan and save for reference through the series!
We see that this book is the one dedicated to Victor Argeneau, born 230 B.C., whose lifemate was put to death in the 1600s. Since then he's been the enforcer for the vampire council, headed by his (much) older brother Lucian, an actual survivor of Atlantis where the nanobots were invented. Vampire laws impose a (true) death sentence for outing vampires to the public and for biting mortals, among other crimes. So when this ad appears in the Toronto Star:
It turns out that she's let everyone in Port Henry know she's a vampire, and of course she's Victor's new lifemate Elvi. It doesn't always happen after a lifemate dies, but it can.
But it's not just Victor the enforcer versus innocent, oblivious Elvi (who as the title tells you became a vampire by accident). Three other vampires--Edward the Englishman, Harper the German, and Alessandro the Italian--are there too for the week. With DJ on hand, that makes five immortal guys bumping around in Elvi and her friend Mabel's Victorian mansion, now converted to a restaurant and B&B. The scenes are funny past belief. And just like previous books in this series, the humor in this one comes from the sincerity of the characters. Superb paranormal situation comedy!
The publisher's blurb, reprinted at the top of this Goodreads page, tells us something about our heroine Elvi, who's now 62 years old. Five years ago the townspeople urged Ellen Stone Black and her best friend from childhood, Mabel Allen, to take a trip to Mexico to lighten their loneliness from being widowed. In Mexico they were in a dreadful accident (see title), and after some days Ellen regained consciousness only to find that she had fangs and they were sunk into Mabel's neck. Both realized Ellen was now a vampire, with the body she had thirty years earlier and a great need for blood!
All they know about being a vampire is what they've seen in TV shows and movies, especially Dracula, so Ellen renames herself Elvi (after Elvira), shuns the sun, eats no food, and sleeps on dirt from where she was turned. Elvi and Mabel astound their town, and people rally to their support. They regularly donate blood for Elvi to drink, and the funeral director fashions a coffin for Elvi to sleep in, with dirt from Mexico and her garden in the bottom under a comforter.
Townspeople feel responsible for what happened because they had put pressure on her to take that fateful trip, so they don't say much to outsiders. But Teddy Brunswick, chief of police, takes Elvi to night clubs in Toronto hoping in vain to find another vampire, and rumors of Elvi's existence spread from there. Finally Mabel puts that ad in the paper, without Elvi's knowledge, and prepares the surprise for her by inviting Victor, Edward, Harper, and Alessandro (and two impostors) to Port Henry for a fabulous week. Needless to say, Elvi is taken aback.
As I expected, things are finally sorted out after a wonderfully laugh-filled ride and a little brush with danger. This is a romance, folks! And how about those other vamps--any lifemates for them in Port Henry? or maybe in a future book? Can't wait to find out. Highly recommended--it's the best Argeneau novel I've read so far.
Each book in the series gets an extra half star from me for the author's brilliant conception of what vampires are (nanobots! see my review of #1 A Quick Bite at https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..., point (1)). The present book begins with a very helpful two-page spread showing the genealogy of the extended Argeneau family--scan and save for reference through the series!
We see that this book is the one dedicated to Victor Argeneau, born 230 B.C., whose lifemate was put to death in the 1600s. Since then he's been the enforcer for the vampire council, headed by his (much) older brother Lucian, an actual survivor of Atlantis where the nanobots were invented. Vampire laws impose a (true) death sentence for outing vampires to the public and for biting mortals, among other crimes. So when this ad appears in the Toronto Star:
Wanted: Male vampire for attractive and self-supporting female vampire. Seeking companionship and a possible love connection. Must be willing to relocate. Only real vampires need apply.Victor gets his sidekick DJ Benoit to answer the ad, and they're invited to a free week at a bed-and-breakfast in the lakeside town of Port Henry, Ontario (population 500), only two or three hours' drive from Toronto where Victor lives. If this is a real vampire going public, Victor will report her to Lucian.
It turns out that she's let everyone in Port Henry know she's a vampire, and of course she's Victor's new lifemate Elvi. It doesn't always happen after a lifemate dies, but it can.
But it's not just Victor the enforcer versus innocent, oblivious Elvi (who as the title tells you became a vampire by accident). Three other vampires--Edward the Englishman, Harper the German, and Alessandro the Italian--are there too for the week. With DJ on hand, that makes five immortal guys bumping around in Elvi and her friend Mabel's Victorian mansion, now converted to a restaurant and B&B. The scenes are funny past belief. And just like previous books in this series, the humor in this one comes from the sincerity of the characters. Superb paranormal situation comedy!
The publisher's blurb, reprinted at the top of this Goodreads page, tells us something about our heroine Elvi, who's now 62 years old. Five years ago the townspeople urged Ellen Stone Black and her best friend from childhood, Mabel Allen, to take a trip to Mexico to lighten their loneliness from being widowed. In Mexico they were in a dreadful accident (see title), and after some days Ellen regained consciousness only to find that she had fangs and they were sunk into Mabel's neck. Both realized Ellen was now a vampire, with the body she had thirty years earlier and a great need for blood!
All they know about being a vampire is what they've seen in TV shows and movies, especially Dracula, so Ellen renames herself Elvi (after Elvira), shuns the sun, eats no food, and sleeps on dirt from where she was turned. Elvi and Mabel astound their town, and people rally to their support. They regularly donate blood for Elvi to drink, and the funeral director fashions a coffin for Elvi to sleep in, with dirt from Mexico and her garden in the bottom under a comforter.
Townspeople feel responsible for what happened because they had put pressure on her to take that fateful trip, so they don't say much to outsiders. But Teddy Brunswick, chief of police, takes Elvi to night clubs in Toronto hoping in vain to find another vampire, and rumors of Elvi's existence spread from there. Finally Mabel puts that ad in the paper, without Elvi's knowledge, and prepares the surprise for her by inviting Victor, Edward, Harper, and Alessandro (and two impostors) to Port Henry for a fabulous week. Needless to say, Elvi is taken aback.
As I expected, things are finally sorted out after a wonderfully laugh-filled ride and a little brush with danger. This is a romance, folks! And how about those other vamps--any lifemates for them in Port Henry? or maybe in a future book? Can't wait to find out. Highly recommended--it's the best Argeneau novel I've read so far.
November 21, 2015
This was so bad. It had a lot of potential, but it fulfilled none of it. Stupidest heroine of the series. I feel sorry for the hero.
I am giving 2 stars because I listened on audio and figure reading it would have been a little better. The narration sucked.
I am giving 2 stars because I listened on audio and figure reading it would have been a little better. The narration sucked.
December 4, 2013
Opening Line:" It was a high-pitched scream that woke Elvi."
THE ACCIDENTAL VAMPIRE is an amusing story with great characters. It also gives a slightly different take on the standard Vampire Romance, wherein the main characters are all in their 60's and the Vampires are decendents of Atlantis. This is also not a series that you need to read in order, which is great. It's nice to just pick up a book and not need a huge ammount of back story to know what's going on.
Elvie Black was accidentally turned into a Vampire while vacationing in Mexico with her best friend. Upon returning home she watches Dracula in an attempt to understand how to live like a Vampire. She runs a B&B and is the star attraction at the local resturaunt where she gives birthday bites to the townsfolk. As her friends age they fear that she will be left alone and subsequently place a personals ad in the paper. This brings several sexy Vampire suiters into town all vying for Elvie's attention. One in particular, Victor Argeneau is an enforcer. Sent to take Elvie before the counsel as she is breaking the Vampire laws by feeding on humans and not keeping her immortal status a secret.
Much hilarity ensues as all 5 suitors end up staying in the B&B over the following week, teaching Elvie how to be a Vampire. Two hilarious scenes stand out for me; one, after she learns that she can in fact eat, and makes a mad dash to the store in search of chocolate and cheesecake. (it's been 5 years) The other takes place after she's told that she doesn't have to sleep in a coffin. Elvie then takes all the men with her to purchase a new bed. The whole town becames a part of this amusing story as a comedy of errors results in someone trying to kill Elvie and Victor discovering that she might be his lifemate.
A cute story that's an easy read.
THE ACCIDENTAL VAMPIRE is an amusing story with great characters. It also gives a slightly different take on the standard Vampire Romance, wherein the main characters are all in their 60's and the Vampires are decendents of Atlantis. This is also not a series that you need to read in order, which is great. It's nice to just pick up a book and not need a huge ammount of back story to know what's going on.
Elvie Black was accidentally turned into a Vampire while vacationing in Mexico with her best friend. Upon returning home she watches Dracula in an attempt to understand how to live like a Vampire. She runs a B&B and is the star attraction at the local resturaunt where she gives birthday bites to the townsfolk. As her friends age they fear that she will be left alone and subsequently place a personals ad in the paper. This brings several sexy Vampire suiters into town all vying for Elvie's attention. One in particular, Victor Argeneau is an enforcer. Sent to take Elvie before the counsel as she is breaking the Vampire laws by feeding on humans and not keeping her immortal status a secret.
Much hilarity ensues as all 5 suitors end up staying in the B&B over the following week, teaching Elvie how to be a Vampire. Two hilarious scenes stand out for me; one, after she learns that she can in fact eat, and makes a mad dash to the store in search of chocolate and cheesecake. (it's been 5 years) The other takes place after she's told that she doesn't have to sleep in a coffin. Elvie then takes all the men with her to purchase a new bed. The whole town becames a part of this amusing story as a comedy of errors results in someone trying to kill Elvie and Victor discovering that she might be his lifemate.
A cute story that's an easy read.
December 16, 2025
Older heroines done right~
The heroine was mysteriously turned into a vampire 5 years prior and is in her 60's as is
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🕮⋆˚࿔✎𓂃 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
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The heroine was mysteriously turned into a vampire 5 years prior and is in her 60's as is
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🕮⋆˚࿔✎𓂃 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
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September 23, 2017
We have Elvi (NOT the plural of Elvis, as I thought. That would be Elvii.), who has been a female vampire for 5 years. Funny how Elvi just watches the movie and believes that is what she is supposed to do to be a vampire. But the Birthday Bite was the best to me. The people of Port Henry were totally unexpected in the way they took care of Elvi. I was never quite sure what Victor's 3 rivals, Edward, Alessandro and Harper were up to and the side story about DJ and Mabel was a pleasant addition. Victor Argeneau and his assistant DJ drive out to the small town of Port Henry to meet this woman and find out what is going on. It's not exactly discreet placing an ad in the paper - and since Victor works for the Vampires ruling Council, it's his job to access the damage and possibly bring this potential "Rogue Vampire" back to the council for judgement. Elvi is an accidental vampire, who was turned under unusual circumstances and has attracted the attention of the Council. Without a sire to guide her, she turned to popular culture for answers and is living in discomfort. Her community accepts her as a paranormal creature and are very protective towards her. Up till now I didn't know much about Victor except he's Vincent's father, has the same genetic anomaly as his son so they can't feed of bagged blood and that his lifemate, Marion, died a few centuries ago burned at the stake. So I was pleased to see this book was about him. Losing his lifemate has made Victor a bitter, lonely man. He even avoids contact with Vincent, his son, and the only thing that keeps him going is his job as an law enforcer for the council.
These books are pure cheesy vamp romance with a big helping of smut on the side. And, this one had a lot of stupid people that were entertaining as can be. Was okay, funny but not really what I expected but it was a good read. I loved this book! It had been so long since I have read an Argeneau book that I had forgotten how good they were. This one wasnt one of my favs in the series but it was very entertaining. I enjoyed a lot the fact that the heroine was a woman of 60 something when she was turned into a vampire. What a fun story. It had me laughing and chuckling several times. FUN FUN FUN! A Vampire puts a singles ad in the paper and boy does she get a response. This is one of my favourite Argeneau novels. The book was gorgeous. I chose it due to the blurb on the back, and I didn't regret it one second. It is as funny and unusual a vampire romance as I thought it would be. It had all the "usual stuff" with lifemates, the gorgeous looking vampires and so on, but the story in itself turned out to be surprising and inventive. This would be how I would be turned into a vampire is by accident. This was a funny cute book. I haven't read many in this series. I tried the first one and it was just ok, but this one was downright romantic, cute and funny.
These books are pure cheesy vamp romance with a big helping of smut on the side. And, this one had a lot of stupid people that were entertaining as can be. Was okay, funny but not really what I expected but it was a good read. I loved this book! It had been so long since I have read an Argeneau book that I had forgotten how good they were. This one wasnt one of my favs in the series but it was very entertaining. I enjoyed a lot the fact that the heroine was a woman of 60 something when she was turned into a vampire. What a fun story. It had me laughing and chuckling several times. FUN FUN FUN! A Vampire puts a singles ad in the paper and boy does she get a response. This is one of my favourite Argeneau novels. The book was gorgeous. I chose it due to the blurb on the back, and I didn't regret it one second. It is as funny and unusual a vampire romance as I thought it would be. It had all the "usual stuff" with lifemates, the gorgeous looking vampires and so on, but the story in itself turned out to be surprising and inventive. This would be how I would be turned into a vampire is by accident. This was a funny cute book. I haven't read many in this series. I tried the first one and it was just ok, but this one was downright romantic, cute and funny.
May 25, 2025
4.5 Stars
Lynsay Sands has one of the easiest to understand explanations of Vampirism or, as the Argeneau's prefer, Immortals. Technology is a very cool thing to base your plotline on! I love it, and I loved this story of an actual accidental vampire.
Elvi was changed on a trip to Mexico with her best friend, and since it was the whole town of Port Henry that encouraged her to go, they all feel guilty about her becoming a vamp. So they make arrangements. Arrangements of all sorts, from finding her blood to finding her a boyfriend! Now Elvi doesn't know the first thing about being a vamp other than what she has seen in the movies and books. So she doesn't eat; she sleeps in a coffin, avoids mirrors, and dresses like Elvira!
Now that Elvi's townsmen have brought her to the council's attention, there is going to be a problem, so along comes Victor the Enforcer of the Immortals. First, he has to find out just how many laws Elvi has broken.
This was a great story since it is one of the lightest of this genre, and it has a wonderful small secondary story of Mabel, Elvi's friend who is 62, who has caught the eye of what appears to be a much younger vamp. Out of all the books, this one was so much of a pleasure to read since we don't have to go through all the angst we usually have when these life-mates get turned. The story was so breezy that it wouldn't take long at all to read, but real fans won't want to miss this since I loved seeing such a hard-butt like Victor be taken down the garden path by such a wonderful and warm-hearted woman. There is good character growth for everyone involved, a pleasant and unexpected plot, a cute mystery, and of course, our happily ever after! What more could you ask for in a book of this type?
Lynsay Sands has one of the easiest to understand explanations of Vampirism or, as the Argeneau's prefer, Immortals. Technology is a very cool thing to base your plotline on! I love it, and I loved this story of an actual accidental vampire.
Elvi was changed on a trip to Mexico with her best friend, and since it was the whole town of Port Henry that encouraged her to go, they all feel guilty about her becoming a vamp. So they make arrangements. Arrangements of all sorts, from finding her blood to finding her a boyfriend! Now Elvi doesn't know the first thing about being a vamp other than what she has seen in the movies and books. So she doesn't eat; she sleeps in a coffin, avoids mirrors, and dresses like Elvira!
Now that Elvi's townsmen have brought her to the council's attention, there is going to be a problem, so along comes Victor the Enforcer of the Immortals. First, he has to find out just how many laws Elvi has broken.
This was a great story since it is one of the lightest of this genre, and it has a wonderful small secondary story of Mabel, Elvi's friend who is 62, who has caught the eye of what appears to be a much younger vamp. Out of all the books, this one was so much of a pleasure to read since we don't have to go through all the angst we usually have when these life-mates get turned. The story was so breezy that it wouldn't take long at all to read, but real fans won't want to miss this since I loved seeing such a hard-butt like Victor be taken down the garden path by such a wonderful and warm-hearted woman. There is good character growth for everyone involved, a pleasant and unexpected plot, a cute mystery, and of course, our happily ever after! What more could you ask for in a book of this type?
August 6, 2012
I pity anyone who started the Argeneau series with this as their starting point.
The main character 'Elvi' (real name is Ellen, but she goes by the nickname Elvi because she's a vampire now, and thats what vampires do. Plus it's a take on Elvira.) is an absolute dumbass.
'I got rid of all the mirrors in my house because vampires (and thats what I am now) don't have reflections... never mind the fact that I still had a reflection after I became a vampire, I'm sure it's gone now but I'm too chicken sh^t to find out!'
Same goes for the food.
Vampires only sleep in coffins!
Same goes for normal clothing. Because yeah... vampires only wear Elvira inspired outfits.
So I paraphrased that bit, but not by much.
Such a dumbass that her vampire 'research' after she was turned involved 'just the movies, because movies are faster than reading the books'.
Seriously????
The 'mystery' was flimsy at best.
The 'who's going to end up with her' (meaning who can read/not read her mind) was pretty much determined from the beginning of the book.
Just... ugh. I'm sorry, normally I enjoy these books for what they are but this one was definitely lacking a wee bit.
The main character 'Elvi' (real name is Ellen, but she goes by the nickname Elvi because she's a vampire now, and thats what vampires do. Plus it's a take on Elvira.) is an absolute dumbass.
'I got rid of all the mirrors in my house because vampires (and thats what I am now) don't have reflections... never mind the fact that I still had a reflection after I became a vampire, I'm sure it's gone now but I'm too chicken sh^t to find out!'
Same goes for the food.
Vampires only sleep in coffins!
Same goes for normal clothing. Because yeah... vampires only wear Elvira inspired outfits.
So I paraphrased that bit, but not by much.
Such a dumbass that her vampire 'research' after she was turned involved 'just the movies, because movies are faster than reading the books'.
Seriously????
The 'mystery' was flimsy at best.
The 'who's going to end up with her' (meaning who can read/not read her mind) was pretty much determined from the beginning of the book.
Just... ugh. I'm sorry, normally I enjoy these books for what they are but this one was definitely lacking a wee bit.
June 11, 2023
Elvi Black is exactly what you would expect from a voluptuous vampire. She dresses in black, shows off her curves like a femme fatale and has learned everything she needs to know about being a vampire from the Dracula movies. That probably is why she has raised eyes in the council with an ad searching for a vampire companion hits the papers.
Victor Argeneau has been sent to investigate the vampire who dares breaks the vampire laws. He had not expected to find that she had several other suitors and that she is breaking not just one law but several. As he uncovers that Elvi has no idea that the town has decided to do their own version of speed dating vampire style, he also finds himself unexpectedly attracted to Elvi.
This happened to be the first book in the Argeneau series that I read and I loved it. Realized I never wrote a review so reread to post one and I am still loving it. Very funny and I liked that they reference the old Hollywood movies through out.
Victor Argeneau has been sent to investigate the vampire who dares breaks the vampire laws. He had not expected to find that she had several other suitors and that she is breaking not just one law but several. As he uncovers that Elvi has no idea that the town has decided to do their own version of speed dating vampire style, he also finds himself unexpectedly attracted to Elvi.
This happened to be the first book in the Argeneau series that I read and I loved it. Realized I never wrote a review so reread to post one and I am still loving it. Very funny and I liked that they reference the old Hollywood movies through out.
February 24, 2023
A single female vampire has placed an advertisement in the paper for a single male vampire. Victor Argeneau is sent by the Council to investigate for a possible rogue immortal. He takes along DJ Benoit to Port Henry, Canada. When they arrive at the restaurant, they discover three other single male immortals have applied to the advertisement. They are all seated by the county sheriff. It seems the whole town has turned out for the occasion. Victor discovers that it was the county sheriff and Mabel, a good friend of the single female vampire, Elvi Black (a.k.a. Ellen Stone), who placed the advertisement in the paper.
Elvi Black shows up at her restaurant to host a birthday celebration for Thomas, a teenage mortal. Part of the rite of passage is to be bitten by Elvi. Victor thinks she is about to bite Thomas right there in front of the restaurant customers. He charges forth to stop her only to be halted by the sheriff and Mabel. All Victor knows is that Elvi Black has broken two of their immortal laws: (1) not keeping her existence secret and (2) biting mortals.
The protagonists Elvi and Victor are established characters. The three other immortal characters provide comic relief to break up the seriousness of Elvi's situation. Elvi is still a newbie vampire; despite being turned accidentally five years ago. She doesn't know her sire. She doesn't know the basics of being an immortal or that there is a governing body for vampires. Elvi's best friend Mabel and the county sheriff knew Elvi before she became a vampire, so they know her true age is 62, not twenty-something as she physical appearance shows. The plot is a romance, and the subplot is discovering who is trying to kill Elvi? The setting is the town Port Henry. The descriptions are well done. The narrator for this audiobook is Victoria McGee. She does a fair job distinguishing the many character voices. I applaud her efforts. This is the seventh novel in the Argeneau series. I will take a break from the series, not because I'm bored or tired of it, but because I like to change out the genres of my audiobooks. Adult situations and language.
Elvi Black shows up at her restaurant to host a birthday celebration for Thomas, a teenage mortal. Part of the rite of passage is to be bitten by Elvi. Victor thinks she is about to bite Thomas right there in front of the restaurant customers. He charges forth to stop her only to be halted by the sheriff and Mabel. All Victor knows is that Elvi Black has broken two of their immortal laws: (1) not keeping her existence secret and (2) biting mortals.
The protagonists Elvi and Victor are established characters. The three other immortal characters provide comic relief to break up the seriousness of Elvi's situation. Elvi is still a newbie vampire; despite being turned accidentally five years ago. She doesn't know her sire. She doesn't know the basics of being an immortal or that there is a governing body for vampires. Elvi's best friend Mabel and the county sheriff knew Elvi before she became a vampire, so they know her true age is 62, not twenty-something as she physical appearance shows. The plot is a romance, and the subplot is discovering who is trying to kill Elvi? The setting is the town Port Henry. The descriptions are well done. The narrator for this audiobook is Victoria McGee. She does a fair job distinguishing the many character voices. I applaud her efforts. This is the seventh novel in the Argeneau series. I will take a break from the series, not because I'm bored or tired of it, but because I like to change out the genres of my audiobooks. Adult situations and language.
February 19, 2019
I'm not normally specifically a romance fan, but this series holds a special place for me and this is my favorite book and it. I will not, however, pretend to like the most common cover design for this book. It lacks imagination and fails to do justice to the story. The proliferation of muscular torsos on the covers of books has probably done more to turn me off the genre than anything else. Maybe it's because, for some reason, I get nothing out of pictures of musclebound male trunks. That's why I've's switched to a version which has a cover design that is not a blue torso. The cover of a book with a picture like that should be called "The Ab-Max System" and the byline should read "In just two weeks, you too can have abs like this." Still, I think the idea behind this book was kind of brilliant and will go on paying dividends for the series for years to come.
I know some people found this book unforgivably silly, or at least the main character to be stupid for not figuring things out on her own rather than needing somebody to tell her much of what she learned in the course of this book. All I can say is the whole premise of this book is that an entire town is conspiring to protect Elvi and, as it turns out, is doing her more harm than good. I know, in the real world, if I'd been in that position (Not that I could ever have actually been in that position in the real world) I would've rebelled against the idea of sleeping in a coffin long before, but then again, who knows what you'd be persuaded to do when something like that happens to you and you don't know the rules. In any case, this was never intended to be an ultra-realistic character study, so why not just kick back, have a good time and take this story on its own terms, as the confection it is. If you can't do that, then this series is probably not for you and maybe you should go and read Middlemarch or something. Actually, that is in a bad idea. I think I'll do that someday. It's on my list.
By the way, since I initially wrote this review I've chopped up my books into categories on various 'shelves.' I've noticed I have quite a few under the heading of romance, including this one. If you bother to look and I can't imagine why you would, you'd find that not one of them is a straight-up contemporary romance. They're either historic or literary classics or have some kind of fantasy or science fiction elements. There's hardly a story that couldn't be helped by putting a little romance in it, but romance as a genre by itself is not really enough to keep the likes of me interested.
So, if you're looking for something that only pretends to be dark (my kind of dark) and is actually light, fun and just a bit sentimental, this one is a good choice. I'd recommend starting with the first book in the series and working your way here. It's not critical, but the world building in these books, which slowly assembles itself in the course of them, is great fun and of a source of more than a little daydreaming, even for a guy like me.
I know some people found this book unforgivably silly, or at least the main character to be stupid for not figuring things out on her own rather than needing somebody to tell her much of what she learned in the course of this book. All I can say is the whole premise of this book is that an entire town is conspiring to protect Elvi and, as it turns out, is doing her more harm than good. I know, in the real world, if I'd been in that position (Not that I could ever have actually been in that position in the real world) I would've rebelled against the idea of sleeping in a coffin long before, but then again, who knows what you'd be persuaded to do when something like that happens to you and you don't know the rules. In any case, this was never intended to be an ultra-realistic character study, so why not just kick back, have a good time and take this story on its own terms, as the confection it is. If you can't do that, then this series is probably not for you and maybe you should go and read Middlemarch or something. Actually, that is in a bad idea. I think I'll do that someday. It's on my list.
By the way, since I initially wrote this review I've chopped up my books into categories on various 'shelves.' I've noticed I have quite a few under the heading of romance, including this one. If you bother to look and I can't imagine why you would, you'd find that not one of them is a straight-up contemporary romance. They're either historic or literary classics or have some kind of fantasy or science fiction elements. There's hardly a story that couldn't be helped by putting a little romance in it, but romance as a genre by itself is not really enough to keep the likes of me interested.
So, if you're looking for something that only pretends to be dark (my kind of dark) and is actually light, fun and just a bit sentimental, this one is a good choice. I'd recommend starting with the first book in the series and working your way here. It's not critical, but the world building in these books, which slowly assembles itself in the course of them, is great fun and of a source of more than a little daydreaming, even for a guy like me.
March 28, 2009
Was okay, funny but not really what I expected but it was a good read. Funny how Elvi just watches the movie and believes that is what she is supposed to do to be a vampire. But the Birthday Bite was the best to me.
July 31, 2019
4.5 Stars
I find it interesting how much this series parallels a more traditional boy meets girl, falls in love, trope than most of the paranormal romance series' do. The fact that the characters are vampires is really more circumstantial.
Still I liked this one. Mostly because of the silliness of it. Elvi's truly an accidental vampire and all she knows about what it means to be one is what she's read or seen in movies. So sleeping in a coffin and staying out of sunlight are only to of the most obvious ones. Of course there's the drinking blood and not being able to eat real food too. But having been turned in her sixties and having grown up in a small town that town is unwilling to turn their back on their friend. They're going to be there to support her no matter what. Even if that means going behind her back to help her find a male vampire to be with so when they all die she won't be alone.
The idea behind this one was actually cute and unique. I loved how baffled Victor was by it all. So used to being one tasked with helping to maintain their peoples secrecy he doesn't know quite what to do with an entire town aware of their existence. And falling for their local vampire is not part of the deal. Especially since he knows his job if it's all true maybe to bring her before the council for judgement and likely ultimately her death.
This was fun and sweet. I loved watching all the other men in vying for Elvi's attention and how they just riled Victor. Of course they all had their own reasons for being there. Even the subplot of the acts had an amusing end to itself in my opinion. I'm actually going to change my rating and actually round up these stars instead of down, because this one still makes me smile when I think about it.
I find it interesting how much this series parallels a more traditional boy meets girl, falls in love, trope than most of the paranormal romance series' do. The fact that the characters are vampires is really more circumstantial.
Still I liked this one. Mostly because of the silliness of it. Elvi's truly an accidental vampire and all she knows about what it means to be one is what she's read or seen in movies. So sleeping in a coffin and staying out of sunlight are only to of the most obvious ones. Of course there's the drinking blood and not being able to eat real food too. But having been turned in her sixties and having grown up in a small town that town is unwilling to turn their back on their friend. They're going to be there to support her no matter what. Even if that means going behind her back to help her find a male vampire to be with so when they all die she won't be alone.
The idea behind this one was actually cute and unique. I loved how baffled Victor was by it all. So used to being one tasked with helping to maintain their peoples secrecy he doesn't know quite what to do with an entire town aware of their existence. And falling for their local vampire is not part of the deal. Especially since he knows his job if it's all true maybe to bring her before the council for judgement and likely ultimately her death.
This was fun and sweet. I loved watching all the other men in vying for Elvi's attention and how they just riled Victor. Of course they all had their own reasons for being there. Even the subplot of the acts had an amusing end to itself in my opinion. I'm actually going to change my rating and actually round up these stars instead of down, because this one still makes me smile when I think about it.
January 16, 2022
Story 3.25 stars Narration 3 stars
I hate to say it because I enjoy this series but this one just didn’t do it for me. It was very light and quite a bit of it was too unbelievable. It’s enough that it’s about a vampire but to add in that the entire small town knows and not only knows, but helps feed her. They have events towards that cause and even a biting booth. There’s some suspense, but even that bordered on ridiculous to be honest. I just couldn’t get past all that. Granted it was a very unique premise although how a small town could keep from telling any outsiders the town secret is beyond my thinking. As far as the narration, I doubt I’ll be wanting to listen to her again. And I’m sorry but it just wasn’t great. It still remains one of the best backstories I’ve found for how the immortals came to be and I do enjoy the previous characters from other books that take turns showing up in these books. Don’t worry, I’ll be definitely reading more in this series because I’ve enjoyed so many in the past.
I hate to say it because I enjoy this series but this one just didn’t do it for me. It was very light and quite a bit of it was too unbelievable. It’s enough that it’s about a vampire but to add in that the entire small town knows and not only knows, but helps feed her. They have events towards that cause and even a biting booth. There’s some suspense, but even that bordered on ridiculous to be honest. I just couldn’t get past all that. Granted it was a very unique premise although how a small town could keep from telling any outsiders the town secret is beyond my thinking. As far as the narration, I doubt I’ll be wanting to listen to her again. And I’m sorry but it just wasn’t great. It still remains one of the best backstories I’ve found for how the immortals came to be and I do enjoy the previous characters from other books that take turns showing up in these books. Don’t worry, I’ll be definitely reading more in this series because I’ve enjoyed so many in the past.
March 22, 2024
3 Stars
Petite but curvy heroine goes shopping with the vampire, then bangs the vampire in a b00b obsessed spicy scene (I swear this author is really a dude), then becomes the vampire's life mate. Love and happily ever after. This is book seven in the series and it's the same plot and heroine in every book; the same mindless entertainment with an excellent sense of humor with each offering. I don't know how to quit them! Send help!
Petite but curvy heroine goes shopping with the vampire, then bangs the vampire in a b00b obsessed spicy scene (I swear this author is really a dude), then becomes the vampire's life mate. Love and happily ever after. This is book seven in the series and it's the same plot and heroine in every book; the same mindless entertainment with an excellent sense of humor with each offering. I don't know how to quit them! Send help!
November 7, 2017
Curiosamente divertido,
Creo si no me equivoco que este es el libro que denota más la parte del mito sobre el vampiro, eso de no salir a la luz del sol, el ataúd con tierra, no comer ajo, espejos, cosas religiosas y todo eso, en esta saga llega a ser muy repetitivo la parte de la explicación y todo lo que pueden hacer que realmente es mito, he llegado al punto de darme pereza cuando voy por esa parte, si son parejas nuevas, libro nuevo pero aun así 27 libros (por ahora, 2017) que siempre explican eso es muyyyy repetitivo.
Pero por primera vez me parece entretenido leer esa parte ya que las reacciones de "Elvi" son divertidas como cuando se desespera por un queque de queso o con la cama, incluso lo del sol que ya en el libro 7 es reitero aburrido, le da un giro y anima bastante la lectura.
En general esta pareja me parece de las mejores y aún más me gusta que al final los pretendientes de Elvi también encuentren a sus parejas, me pareció curioso la señora del supermercado / vecina y Alessandro, oh Mabel y D.J.
A muchos no les puede parecer bueno, pero este libro para mi representa un refrescamiento en la saga y si algunas situaciones son absurdas como que todo el pueblo sepa, o la feria, o el adolecente haciendose pasar por vampiro, pero eso hace a esta historia un muy buen impulsor para seguir leyendo.
Como lo e dicho muchas veces: mucho de lo mismo cansa y este libro da ese respiro de no tomarse la saga tan enserio o que se vuelva muy pesada, reitero son 27 libros (por ahora, 2017) y no sabemos cuantos más pueden ser, que todos sean drama o cazando renegados llega a cansar más en sagas tan grandes.
Mi recomendación leanlo y no se lo tomen demasiado enserio!!! disfrutelon si quieren drama los próximos tienen bastante...
Creo si no me equivoco que este es el libro que denota más la parte del mito sobre el vampiro, eso de no salir a la luz del sol, el ataúd con tierra, no comer ajo, espejos, cosas religiosas y todo eso, en esta saga llega a ser muy repetitivo la parte de la explicación y todo lo que pueden hacer que realmente es mito, he llegado al punto de darme pereza cuando voy por esa parte, si son parejas nuevas, libro nuevo pero aun así 27 libros (por ahora, 2017) que siempre explican eso es muyyyy repetitivo.
Pero por primera vez me parece entretenido leer esa parte ya que las reacciones de "Elvi" son divertidas como cuando se desespera por un queque de queso o con la cama, incluso lo del sol que ya en el libro 7 es reitero aburrido, le da un giro y anima bastante la lectura.
En general esta pareja me parece de las mejores y aún más me gusta que al final los pretendientes de Elvi también encuentren a sus parejas, me pareció curioso la señora del supermercado / vecina y Alessandro, oh Mabel y D.J.
A muchos no les puede parecer bueno, pero este libro para mi representa un refrescamiento en la saga y si algunas situaciones son absurdas como que todo el pueblo sepa, o la feria, o el adolecente haciendose pasar por vampiro, pero eso hace a esta historia un muy buen impulsor para seguir leyendo.
Como lo e dicho muchas veces: mucho de lo mismo cansa y este libro da ese respiro de no tomarse la saga tan enserio o que se vuelva muy pesada, reitero son 27 libros (por ahora, 2017) y no sabemos cuantos más pueden ser, que todos sean drama o cazando renegados llega a cansar más en sagas tan grandes.
Mi recomendación leanlo y no se lo tomen demasiado enserio!!! disfrutelon si quieren drama los próximos tienen bastante...
June 20, 2010
I loved this book! It had been so long since I have read an Argeneau book that I had forgotten how good they were. This one wasn´t one of my favs in the series but it was very entertaining.
I enjoyed a lot the fact that the heroine was a woman of 60 something when she was turned into a vampire.This was so different from everything I have read before. Although I think it is IMPORTANT to clarify that even though she was turned at that age, afterwards she looked like a 25 year old woman. This made the story so much entertaining than anything else could have. It was hilarious to see a woman that age getting young again and it was great, for a change, that the heroine was not a young silly virgin.
Another thing with Elvi was that nobody explained Elvi how to be a vampire so she did what movies said a vampire should do. Poor thing slept in a coffin for 5 years and did not eat a thing. Also she took all mirrors away and stop going to church as well as going out outside when the sun was up. Imagine what she did once she found out she could,lol.
I had a great time reading it. It is not possible not to with this series,lol. The most weird things happen. You just need to know that this series is a very light read to have a good time, very funny. But don´t pick them up if you want a deep read, cause you wont find it.
I enjoyed a lot the fact that the heroine was a woman of 60 something when she was turned into a vampire.This was so different from everything I have read before. Although I think it is IMPORTANT to clarify that even though she was turned at that age, afterwards she looked like a 25 year old woman. This made the story so much entertaining than anything else could have. It was hilarious to see a woman that age getting young again and it was great, for a change, that the heroine was not a young silly virgin.
Another thing with Elvi was that nobody explained Elvi how to be a vampire so she did what movies said a vampire should do. Poor thing slept in a coffin for 5 years and did not eat a thing. Also she took all mirrors away and stop going to church as well as going out outside when the sun was up. Imagine what she did once she found out she could,lol.
I had a great time reading it. It is not possible not to with this series,lol. The most weird things happen. You just need to know that this series is a very light read to have a good time, very funny. But don´t pick them up if you want a deep read, cause you wont find it.
February 9, 2016
This is definitely on the range of funny. It's humorous and romantic and a bit of mystery added.
I loved the way the author just dumped a bunch of immortals in one town to woo Elvi. Interesting start. Victor was the not interested enforcer, Edward the grumpy, Harper the normal caring type, Alessandro the childish one, Dj the uninvited youngling.
I loved them all. Different personalities and aspects.
But I hated the heroine. I loved almost every woman in this series, but Elvi, God, just ...No. I might have over looked her spontanous behaviour regarding food and the bed but the later half of the book was CRINGE worthy. I mean, how stupid could she have been? Well, not exactly stupid, but overly naive. And I hate naive women who blame the man for their stupidity.
4 stars for the man but Elvi gets her undeserved 2 stars. Sorry, not sorry.
I loved the way the author just dumped a bunch of immortals in one town to woo Elvi. Interesting start. Victor was the not interested enforcer, Edward the grumpy, Harper the normal caring type, Alessandro the childish one, Dj the uninvited youngling.
I loved them all. Different personalities and aspects.
But I hated the heroine. I loved almost every woman in this series, but Elvi, God, just ...No. I might have over looked her spontanous behaviour regarding food and the bed but the later half of the book was CRINGE worthy. I mean, how stupid could she have been? Well, not exactly stupid, but overly naive. And I hate naive women who blame the man for their stupidity.
4 stars for the man but Elvi gets her undeserved 2 stars. Sorry, not sorry.
February 19, 2018
Fast, funny, and sexy...
The Accidental Vampire by Lynsay Sands is the seventh amazing adventure in this hot series. I cannot stop reading about these characters. They feel real. Quirky, funny, and they are easy to relate to. I love how they struggle with the same issues the rest of us in the real world do. That just made me love this plot even more. I laughed so hard, I cried. The emotional journey was crazy. The ending was my most favorite. Read the book, and I guarantee you will see why the ending was the best part. I couldn't stop laughing! Overall, I recommend this paranormal romance to all.
I received this copy from the publisher. This is my voluntary review.
The Accidental Vampire by Lynsay Sands is the seventh amazing adventure in this hot series. I cannot stop reading about these characters. They feel real. Quirky, funny, and they are easy to relate to. I love how they struggle with the same issues the rest of us in the real world do. That just made me love this plot even more. I laughed so hard, I cried. The emotional journey was crazy. The ending was my most favorite. Read the book, and I guarantee you will see why the ending was the best part. I couldn't stop laughing! Overall, I recommend this paranormal romance to all.
I received this copy from the publisher. This is my voluntary review.
May 17, 2017
Elvi was an IDIOT. I think this was meant to be funny, but it was a torturous nightmare!!!
Jessica's review sums my feeling up 100% so I encourage any and everyone to read her review.
Here's the link; https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
February 11, 2014
I just finished a reread of this book. This time I decided to try it in audio. I love this book. It's cute and fun, a light easy read. I did not care for the narrator of the audiobook, however. She had a voice that was stilted and sounded almost like a computer program. I would recommend the book version for this novel.
September 28, 2022
Loved it, definite reread
September 14, 2017
Lynsay Sands does it again! Absolutely love this series. It's funny, sexy, has a few crazy twists, and this scientific spin on vampires is very interesting. You won't be disappointed!
February 20, 2015
It's No Accident, It's Skill! Sand's Delivers An Imaginative & Sexy Vamp Romance!
Five years ago sixty-something Elvi, on a what was supposed to be a sun and fun filled vacation in Mexico, suddenly found herself turned into a vampire. With no maker hanging around to show her the immortal ropes Elvi turned to the movie, Bram Stoker's Dracula, to learn how to be a successful creature of the night. So for the last five years Elvi has avoided garlic and crosses, and worn only black. Elvi knows she shouldn't be complaining - she's immortal while her lifelong friends are all getting up in years- but Elvi is not looking forward to an eternity of sleeping in a dirt-filled coffin. Then again that may not be a problem.
After having lost his wife to vampire hunters centuries ago, Victor Argeneau has dedicated his life to eliminating rogue vampires as an enforcer for the vampire council of North America, so that no other immortal family will have to suffer the same crushing loss. When Elvi's friends place a personal ad seeking a male vampire to keep her company when they pass on, Victor answers the ad to investigate whether a real vampire or a just a vamp-wanna-be is responsible. Vamp law mandates keeping a low profile and the penalty for attracting human attention is death. Upon arriving in Elvi's small town for his "date," Victor is horrified to discover that the whole town knows about Elvi. After meeting Elvi, Victor finds himself torn between duty and the instant overwhelming attraction he feels for her. But while Victor is struggling to figure out how to avoid having to bring the woman who just may be his second chance at happiness in to face vampire justice, it looks like the ad may have attracted just the type of attention the council fears -- a vampire hunter and Elvi is the target.
Deviating a bit from Sand's usual formula, there was so much of Accidental Vampire that was fun and original. From Elvi's unusual turning, to the great bunch of supporting characters, including a couple that get romances of their own. But most of all I loved that Elvi wasn't the typical twenty year old vamp romance heroine. Being older, Elvi has had a lot of life experiences to give her depth. Also Elvi was a fun character with her single minded enthusiasm, neurotic charm and goofy vampire rules. Victor of course was incredibly hunky, but the hope that he will again have someone to relieve the unrelenting loneliness of his immortal existence makes him very vulnerable. While he sure of what he feels for Elvi, he's not the only sexy immortal to answer Elvi's ad. Even if Elvi chooses him, Victor still has good reason to fear he may lose her -- someone's trying to kill her and there's still the potential council death sentence hanging over her head. The only negative in the book for fans is a positive for readers new to Sands' vampire mythos, in order to make sure that her books are stand-alone reads, Sands explains in every book the whole reason why the immortals are immortal, need blood and can't go out in the sun. This is a very minor nit and it is easy to skip over. So, if it means more fans for Sands so that she keeps selling books and keeps writing more, I'm not complaining.
I just loved this book, it was the best of the Argeneau series so far and here's more good news for new and existing fans - Vampire Interrupted is just the first of three new Argeneau books to be released over the next three months. Look for Vampires Are Forever (Argeneau Vampires, Book 8), Thomas' story, in January and Vampire, Interrupted (Argeneau Vampires, Book 9), Marguerite's story, in February.
The Argeneau Vampire Series Contempory Vampire Romances by Lynsay Sands:
A Quick Bite ( Book 1)
Love Bites (Argeneau Vampires, Book 2)
Single White Vampire (Argeneau Vampires, Book 3)
Tall, Dark & Hungry (Argeneau Vampires, Book 4)
A Bite to Remember (Argeneau Vampires, Book 5)
Bite Me If You Can (Argeneau Vampires, Book 6)
And if you like your vampires in a kilt in a historical setting, try Sand's Highlander Vampire series -- these are collaborations with Hannah Howell:
My Immortal Highlander
The Eternal Highlander
Highland Thirst
Five years ago sixty-something Elvi, on a what was supposed to be a sun and fun filled vacation in Mexico, suddenly found herself turned into a vampire. With no maker hanging around to show her the immortal ropes Elvi turned to the movie, Bram Stoker's Dracula, to learn how to be a successful creature of the night. So for the last five years Elvi has avoided garlic and crosses, and worn only black. Elvi knows she shouldn't be complaining - she's immortal while her lifelong friends are all getting up in years- but Elvi is not looking forward to an eternity of sleeping in a dirt-filled coffin. Then again that may not be a problem.
After having lost his wife to vampire hunters centuries ago, Victor Argeneau has dedicated his life to eliminating rogue vampires as an enforcer for the vampire council of North America, so that no other immortal family will have to suffer the same crushing loss. When Elvi's friends place a personal ad seeking a male vampire to keep her company when they pass on, Victor answers the ad to investigate whether a real vampire or a just a vamp-wanna-be is responsible. Vamp law mandates keeping a low profile and the penalty for attracting human attention is death. Upon arriving in Elvi's small town for his "date," Victor is horrified to discover that the whole town knows about Elvi. After meeting Elvi, Victor finds himself torn between duty and the instant overwhelming attraction he feels for her. But while Victor is struggling to figure out how to avoid having to bring the woman who just may be his second chance at happiness in to face vampire justice, it looks like the ad may have attracted just the type of attention the council fears -- a vampire hunter and Elvi is the target.
Deviating a bit from Sand's usual formula, there was so much of Accidental Vampire that was fun and original. From Elvi's unusual turning, to the great bunch of supporting characters, including a couple that get romances of their own. But most of all I loved that Elvi wasn't the typical twenty year old vamp romance heroine. Being older, Elvi has had a lot of life experiences to give her depth. Also Elvi was a fun character with her single minded enthusiasm, neurotic charm and goofy vampire rules. Victor of course was incredibly hunky, but the hope that he will again have someone to relieve the unrelenting loneliness of his immortal existence makes him very vulnerable. While he sure of what he feels for Elvi, he's not the only sexy immortal to answer Elvi's ad. Even if Elvi chooses him, Victor still has good reason to fear he may lose her -- someone's trying to kill her and there's still the potential council death sentence hanging over her head. The only negative in the book for fans is a positive for readers new to Sands' vampire mythos, in order to make sure that her books are stand-alone reads, Sands explains in every book the whole reason why the immortals are immortal, need blood and can't go out in the sun. This is a very minor nit and it is easy to skip over. So, if it means more fans for Sands so that she keeps selling books and keeps writing more, I'm not complaining.
I just loved this book, it was the best of the Argeneau series so far and here's more good news for new and existing fans - Vampire Interrupted is just the first of three new Argeneau books to be released over the next three months. Look for Vampires Are Forever (Argeneau Vampires, Book 8), Thomas' story, in January and Vampire, Interrupted (Argeneau Vampires, Book 9), Marguerite's story, in February.
The Argeneau Vampire Series Contempory Vampire Romances by Lynsay Sands:
A Quick Bite ( Book 1)
Love Bites (Argeneau Vampires, Book 2)
Single White Vampire (Argeneau Vampires, Book 3)
Tall, Dark & Hungry (Argeneau Vampires, Book 4)
A Bite to Remember (Argeneau Vampires, Book 5)
Bite Me If You Can (Argeneau Vampires, Book 6)
And if you like your vampires in a kilt in a historical setting, try Sand's Highlander Vampire series -- these are collaborations with Hannah Howell:
My Immortal Highlander
The Eternal Highlander
Highland Thirst
July 26, 2023
Lynsay Sands has one of the easiest-to-understand explanations of Vampirism or, as the Argeneau's prefer, Immortals. Technology is a very cool thing to base your plotline on! I love it, and I loved this story of an actual accidental vampire.
Elvi was changed on a trip to Mexico with her best friend, and since it was the whole town of Port Henry that encouraged her to go, they all feel guilty about her becoming a vamp. So they make arrangements. Arrangements of all sorts, from finding her blood to finding her a boyfriend! Now Elvi doesn't know the first thing about being a vamp other than what she has seen in the movies and books. So she doesn't eat; she sleeps in a coffin, avoids mirrors, and dresses like Elvira!
Now that Elvi's townsmen have brought her to the council's attention, there is going to be a problem, so along comes Victor, the Enforcer of the Immortals. First, he has to find out just how many laws Elvi has broken.
This was a great story since it is one of the lightest of this genre, and it has a wonderful small secondary story of Mabel, Elvi's friend who is 62, who has caught the eye of what appears to be a much younger vamp. Out of all the books, this one was so much of a pleasure to read since we don't have to go through all the angst we usually have when these life-mates get turned. The story was so breezy that it wouldn't take long at all to read, but real fans won't want to miss this since I loved seeing such a hard-butt like Victor be taken down the garden path by such a wonderful and warm-hearted woman. There is good character growth for everyone involved, a pleasant and unexpected plot, a cute mystery, and of course, our happily ever after! What more could you ask for in a book of this type?
Elvi was changed on a trip to Mexico with her best friend, and since it was the whole town of Port Henry that encouraged her to go, they all feel guilty about her becoming a vamp. So they make arrangements. Arrangements of all sorts, from finding her blood to finding her a boyfriend! Now Elvi doesn't know the first thing about being a vamp other than what she has seen in the movies and books. So she doesn't eat; she sleeps in a coffin, avoids mirrors, and dresses like Elvira!
Now that Elvi's townsmen have brought her to the council's attention, there is going to be a problem, so along comes Victor, the Enforcer of the Immortals. First, he has to find out just how many laws Elvi has broken.
This was a great story since it is one of the lightest of this genre, and it has a wonderful small secondary story of Mabel, Elvi's friend who is 62, who has caught the eye of what appears to be a much younger vamp. Out of all the books, this one was so much of a pleasure to read since we don't have to go through all the angst we usually have when these life-mates get turned. The story was so breezy that it wouldn't take long at all to read, but real fans won't want to miss this since I loved seeing such a hard-butt like Victor be taken down the garden path by such a wonderful and warm-hearted woman. There is good character growth for everyone involved, a pleasant and unexpected plot, a cute mystery, and of course, our happily ever after! What more could you ask for in a book of this type?
May 12, 2009
FUN FUN FUN!
A Vampire puts a singles ad in the paper and boy does she get a response. Victor Argeneau and his assistant DJ drive out to the small town of Port Henry to meet this woman and find out what is going on. It's not exactly discreet placing an ad in the paper - and since Vincent works for the Vampires ruling Council, it's his job to access the damage and possibly bring this potential "Rogue Vampire" back to the council for judgement.
Vincent is in for a surprise when he gets to Port Henry to meet Ms. Elvi Black. He is greeted by the captain of the local police and told to have a seat while the others arrive. What others? Apparently 6 vampires had been invited down to spend the week getting to know the Vampire in the ad. Oh - And she doesn't know about the ad. Apparently the town felt bad for Elvi not having a mate and they put the ad in the paper for her. So the entire town knows about Elvi the Vampire. What is the council to do about this?!?!
I think this might be my favorite in the series so far. I love that Elvi is an accidental vampire - and that she is embraced by the entire town. Also - the whole love angle was quite fun. Elvi having several suitors to choose from was fun to watch. There is a hint of mystery in this as with the other books - but I always feel that it is very secondary to the primary plot - which is the relationship between one Argeneau vampire and one mortal. Good stuff.
A Vampire puts a singles ad in the paper and boy does she get a response. Victor Argeneau and his assistant DJ drive out to the small town of Port Henry to meet this woman and find out what is going on. It's not exactly discreet placing an ad in the paper - and since Vincent works for the Vampires ruling Council, it's his job to access the damage and possibly bring this potential "Rogue Vampire" back to the council for judgement.
Vincent is in for a surprise when he gets to Port Henry to meet Ms. Elvi Black. He is greeted by the captain of the local police and told to have a seat while the others arrive. What others? Apparently 6 vampires had been invited down to spend the week getting to know the Vampire in the ad. Oh - And she doesn't know about the ad. Apparently the town felt bad for Elvi not having a mate and they put the ad in the paper for her. So the entire town knows about Elvi the Vampire. What is the council to do about this?!?!
I think this might be my favorite in the series so far. I love that Elvi is an accidental vampire - and that she is embraced by the entire town. Also - the whole love angle was quite fun. Elvi having several suitors to choose from was fun to watch. There is a hint of mystery in this as with the other books - but I always feel that it is very secondary to the primary plot - which is the relationship between one Argeneau vampire and one mortal. Good stuff.
February 16, 2012
I do like how fast I read these Argeneau books, I start them, and then I just continue until I am finished. A fast, good book.
It's book 7, but this is a series that you can jump around a bit in. Still book 1 explains the nano thing fully, sure it is explained here too so if you want to, then jump right in and read this one. The book also has a map of all the members in this big family, and this is good.
How on earth Elvi was not noticed before I do not know. Small towns I guess. Yes she is the resident vampire, now that is a nice little town I would like to visit where they are so nice against the undead who craves blood. And this is one of the fun things about this book. Elvi does not know anything about vampires. She thinks they are soulless, likes coffins and all those myths we all know so well. But these vampires are not really vampires and she will learn her lesson. She was nice, because she was so lost when it came to all of this.
Then we got the hero, Victor, who is old as dirt and comes to town as he is an enforces and Elvi, well she is breaking a lot of laws. But there will be passion, other suitors and someone else in this book will find love too. A story I really liked.
Conclusion:
Fun and light is the word. A nice lovestory about how an accidental vampire finds love.
It's book 7, but this is a series that you can jump around a bit in. Still book 1 explains the nano thing fully, sure it is explained here too so if you want to, then jump right in and read this one. The book also has a map of all the members in this big family, and this is good.
How on earth Elvi was not noticed before I do not know. Small towns I guess. Yes she is the resident vampire, now that is a nice little town I would like to visit where they are so nice against the undead who craves blood. And this is one of the fun things about this book. Elvi does not know anything about vampires. She thinks they are soulless, likes coffins and all those myths we all know so well. But these vampires are not really vampires and she will learn her lesson. She was nice, because she was so lost when it came to all of this.
Then we got the hero, Victor, who is old as dirt and comes to town as he is an enforces and Elvi, well she is breaking a lot of laws. But there will be passion, other suitors and someone else in this book will find love too. A story I really liked.
Conclusion:
Fun and light is the word. A nice lovestory about how an accidental vampire finds love.
June 20, 2011
This was a really quick read, I read it over 2 days. that's because there wasn't much substance. I guess it's part of a series, which I've never read the previous ones, but I don't imagine I was missing anything. A 60 something year old woman was accidentally turned into a vampire, and her whole town and friends are very accepting of her. She becomes 25 again, and even hotter than she was originally (all vampires = hot i guess). She lives for 5 yrs without really finding out what a vampire is. She gets all her info from watching the dracula movie. Yup. She arbitrarily banishes all mirrors, without even trying to look in one, stuff like that. When her friends put a want ad in the paper for a vampire boyfriend for her, she finally finds out the rules of vampires. How dumb, all this time and she never even checked to see if she could do any of these things? She even thought she had to wear special vampire looking clothes!! It ended up being hilarious, though I don't think it was intended that way. Oh, and in their world, vampires were made from nanos created in atlantis. Yup LOL. I don't think this is worth reading, unless the book is just sitting there in front of you. I won't read any more of the series. Oh but it's still better than the twilight series, by a lot.
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