The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills - and Leave a Positive Impression!

by Debra Fine, Canon Publishers (publisher)

Nationally recognized communication expert, keynote speaker and trainer and best-selling author Debra Fine reveals the techniques and strategies anyone can use to make small talk—in any situation. Do you spend an abnormal amount of time hiding out in the bathroom or hanging out at the buffet table at social gatherings? Does the thought of striking up a conversation with a stranger make your stomach do flip-flops? Do you sit nervously through job interviews waiting for the other person to speak? Are you a Nervous Ned or Nellie when it comes to networking? Then it's time you mastered the fine art of small talk.

With practical advice and conversation cheat sheets, The Fine Art of Small Talk will help you learn to feel more comfortable in any type of social or mingling situation, from lunch with the boss, a first face-to-face date, to an industry event, a business networking opportunity, or even a cocktail party where you don't know a soul. In this newly revised, updated edition Fine offers additional tools and tips on virtual interactions, managing political conversations, and navigating conversations addressing transition, illness, and grief.

This fast-paced, informative audio program offers concrete tools

Strike up conversations and keep them going Master introductions and remember names Come across as composed and self-assured when interacting decision makers, client, and colleagues Develop rapport with anyone Become an “active” listener Overcome communication barriers Handle awkward situations Come up with topics to discuss Avoid conversation “killers” Prepare for successful conversation Exit conversations with grace Feel more at ease at award receptions, banquets, receptions, and networking events

Audible Audio

Published March 19, 2015

About the author

Debra Fine is an internationally recognised speaker and trainer. As a member of the National Speakers Association she travels extensively giving lectures and conducting workshops on the topic.

Reviews

[Gustavo Steinmetz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bad concepts

The author tries the idea of open questions which makes conversation looks like an interview. She mentions “what keep you busy besides work?”, if the person says “nothing” or focus only on work (which is common in modern times), the conversation will die.

A much more effective approach and science based is statements with cold reading, like “you seem a creative person, I bet you’re job is quite fun!”. This forces the other person to have rapport with you, they have only 2 options:

1. No, actually is pretty boring, I’m … But why I gave a creative vibe for you? (Always play with their feelings, they are curious on this aspect “why creative” and shared more info regarding their job that can be used to continue the conversation)
2. Yess! How did you know?? I’m a … (again, curiosity and interested is grabbed)

I would recommend more rapport based approaches, rather than open questions, the most hated question in a job interview is “so, they me a little bit about yourself”, because this put all the pressure on the other person.

[Dan Duplessis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really simple read. Helpful that it offers reminders of everything you could and should do to initiate conversation. After reading it you'll be told to treat small talk just like any other task but fails in some ways to address strategies to overcome nervousness. I would be remiss to say it doesn't mention how nervousness is not a big deal and in social settings other people feel it as well, but it assumes that by existing you'll be in so many small talk settings that if you just work on executing the checklists and memorizing things to say you'll overcome small talk issues. More likely you'll just keep avoiding small talk.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

Key Ideas from the book:
* Avoid Common Pitfalls: Steer clear of “interrogation” (too many questions), dominating the discussion, trying to one-up the other person, or offering unsolicited advice.
* Practice is Essential: Like any skill, small talk improves with practice and persistence.
* Preparation Beats Anxiety: Approaching new people becomes easier and less stressful when you’re prepared with icebreakers, conversation starters, and open-ended questions

[Ellen Cameron · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bit.. simple. Some good questions to ask, but mostly this is for people who very much struggle to speak up, rather than the average person. Her example dialogues are a bit out of sorts

[Marta Ribeiro · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pratical tips but somehow boring to read. it could be more engaging.