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Sh*t My Dad Says #1
Lời vàng của bố
Cuốn sách là bằng chứng cho việc công nghệ thông tin hiện đại không khiến cho cha mẹ và con cái cách biệt, đồng thời chuyển đến cho bạn đọc trẻ tuổi một nhãn quan trung thực khi suy xét mọi vấn đề trong cuộc sống.
Cuốn sách này sẽ giúp độc giả hình dung về cuộc sống gia đình người Mỹ trung lưu, không phải cuộc sống trong phim ảnh, mà là cuộc sống thật với vô vàn khó khăn của nó. Đó là các nhà biên kịch tương lai làm bồi bàn trong nhà hàng, và chuyên gia trong lĩnh vực “dược phẩm hạt nhân” làm việc cật lực hàng ngày tới tận tối khuya với rất nhiều áp lực.
Cuốn sách này có lẽ cũng sẽ là bằng chứng cho việc công nghệ thông tin hiện đại không khiến cho cha mẹ và con cái cách biệt, mà nó đã san bằng những khoảng trống còn chưa được hiểu hết về nhau trong mối quan hệ đó. Đồng thời, cuốn sách còn là cây cầu nối văn hóa ra thế giới bên ngoài, có thể, qua đó sẽ có nhiều cặp cha-con hiểu nhau hơn.
Và điều cuối cùng, những người làm sách muốn chuyển đến cho bạn đọc, nhất là bạn đọc trẻ tuổi một nhãn quan trung thực khi suy xét mọi vấn đề trong cuộc sống. Chúng ta phải làm việc chăm chỉ, nỗ lực không ngừng, lắng nghe và suy nghĩ, trung thực và tận tâm, quan sát cẩn thận mọi thứ xung quanh, và đối xử tử tế với những người xứng đáng được như thế.
Cuốn sách này buồn cười đến phát điên lên được – Chelsea Handler.
Nếu bạn thắc mắc không biết có một người đàn ông thật sự sau những câu trích dẫn trên trang Twitter không, câu trả lời là chắc chắn có và ông ấy hết sức buồn cười – Christian Lander, tác giả cuốn sách New York Times bestseller Stuff White People Like
Cuốn sách này sẽ giúp độc giả hình dung về cuộc sống gia đình người Mỹ trung lưu, không phải cuộc sống trong phim ảnh, mà là cuộc sống thật với vô vàn khó khăn của nó. Đó là các nhà biên kịch tương lai làm bồi bàn trong nhà hàng, và chuyên gia trong lĩnh vực “dược phẩm hạt nhân” làm việc cật lực hàng ngày tới tận tối khuya với rất nhiều áp lực.
Cuốn sách này có lẽ cũng sẽ là bằng chứng cho việc công nghệ thông tin hiện đại không khiến cho cha mẹ và con cái cách biệt, mà nó đã san bằng những khoảng trống còn chưa được hiểu hết về nhau trong mối quan hệ đó. Đồng thời, cuốn sách còn là cây cầu nối văn hóa ra thế giới bên ngoài, có thể, qua đó sẽ có nhiều cặp cha-con hiểu nhau hơn.
Và điều cuối cùng, những người làm sách muốn chuyển đến cho bạn đọc, nhất là bạn đọc trẻ tuổi một nhãn quan trung thực khi suy xét mọi vấn đề trong cuộc sống. Chúng ta phải làm việc chăm chỉ, nỗ lực không ngừng, lắng nghe và suy nghĩ, trung thực và tận tâm, quan sát cẩn thận mọi thứ xung quanh, và đối xử tử tế với những người xứng đáng được như thế.
Cuốn sách này buồn cười đến phát điên lên được – Chelsea Handler.
Nếu bạn thắc mắc không biết có một người đàn ông thật sự sau những câu trích dẫn trên trang Twitter không, câu trả lời là chắc chắn có và ông ấy hết sức buồn cười – Christian Lander, tác giả cuốn sách New York Times bestseller Stuff White People Like
228 pages, Paperback
First published May 4, 2010
4240 people are currently reading
180652 people want to read
About the author
Justin Halpern
13 books886 followersI'm 29. I live with my 74-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says.
In the pic, I am on the far right and dad is one the far left. That's a friend between us.
In the pic, I am on the far right and dad is one the far left. That's a friend between us.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 9,060 reviews
May 27, 2010
Let's see. Is there any doubt at all in anyone's mind what the following words mean: sh*t, F*ck, G*d da*n, m*therf*cker, etc. Especially people who claim to be offended by "bad" words. Are you any more likely to be injured if I typed "fuck" instead of "f*ck?" There's this really stupid notion that asterisks somehow cleanse a word. Frankly, folks, whether you are offended by something is up to you. When I type fuck I have no intent to offend, it's just a silly word, an expression. If you choose to be offended, that's your fucking problem (normally, I wouldn't say that, but Ceridwen likes it.) OK, rant over.
I preface my remarks about this book, because if you don't like those words, this book will really bug you. It's filled with them. And if you don't like it because of the words, I feel sorry for you. It's a very funny book. My wife and I listened to it (extremely well read, with just the right inflections and expression by Sean Schemmel) and laughed so hard in a couple of places, I almost drove off the road.
Justin's father was a doctor specializing in nuclear medicine; his mother was going back to law school. The story of when his father took little Justin to a lecture he was giving on thyroid cancer to a bunch of doctors is hysterical. All Justin had to do was sit quietly in his seat in the auditorium for two hours. Naturally, Justin got restless (the Snickers bar his father gave him, lasted about 12 nanoseconds). Justin decided to see if he could crawl on the floor underneath empty seats from the front to the back of the auditorium. The result was predictably not what his father had hoped for. Very funny.
I suspect all of us fathers and grandfathers would love to have been like Justin's father who could say things like, "I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."
Or the scene with the complaining father at Little League, or the teacher who didn't want to teach. I could go on and on. Delightful. Get the audio.
By the way, bullshit is a great word.
I preface my remarks about this book, because if you don't like those words, this book will really bug you. It's filled with them. And if you don't like it because of the words, I feel sorry for you. It's a very funny book. My wife and I listened to it (extremely well read, with just the right inflections and expression by Sean Schemmel) and laughed so hard in a couple of places, I almost drove off the road.
Justin's father was a doctor specializing in nuclear medicine; his mother was going back to law school. The story of when his father took little Justin to a lecture he was giving on thyroid cancer to a bunch of doctors is hysterical. All Justin had to do was sit quietly in his seat in the auditorium for two hours. Naturally, Justin got restless (the Snickers bar his father gave him, lasted about 12 nanoseconds). Justin decided to see if he could crawl on the floor underneath empty seats from the front to the back of the auditorium. The result was predictably not what his father had hoped for. Very funny.
I suspect all of us fathers and grandfathers would love to have been like Justin's father who could say things like, "I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."
Or the scene with the complaining father at Little League, or the teacher who didn't want to teach. I could go on and on. Delightful. Get the audio.
By the way, bullshit is a great word.
November 15, 2020
Absolutely hilarious.
Sometimes you just need a book which gives you a good laugh.
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.”
Never followed that author on Twitter before reading this book. I just saw this book in a library, the name caught my eye and the rest is history.
I probably won't ever re-read this book but I will remember it with a smile.
“You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.”
“On Making a Christmas List “You ranked the twenty-five presents you want, in order of how much you want them? Are you insane? I said tell me what you want for Christmas, not make a fucking college football poll.”
Sometimes you just need a book which gives you a good laugh.
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.”
Never followed that author on Twitter before reading this book. I just saw this book in a library, the name caught my eye and the rest is history.
I probably won't ever re-read this book but I will remember it with a smile.
“You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life.”
“On Making a Christmas List “You ranked the twenty-five presents you want, in order of how much you want them? Are you insane? I said tell me what you want for Christmas, not make a fucking college football poll.”
March 2, 2017
Well, this was fun!
I actually liked I Suck at Girls a tad better, but I think it's because I read that one first. And while Halpern's father is extremely funny, once you hear a few of his zingers the magic wears off a bit.
The gist? I think everyone already knows about this book and the Tweets that started it all. I'm pretty sure the blurb takes care of whatever curiosity most readers have, but (if you're too lazy to read the blurb) the short version is that Justin started Tweeting the shit his dad said.
So, yeah.
Halpern senior is smart & funny, but I think the thing that everyone loves is the way he just says whatever he's thinking without caring about any social repercussions. And the stuff he's saying isn't racist/sexist/homophobic, it's just...honest.
Has it really become so rare for people to not sugarcoat the way they feel and think, that we find a book filled with Tweets like this amazing?
Yup.
There isn't any sort of big Life Lesson here, just a humorous way to spend an afternoon. But if you're one of those readers who just has to take a moral lesson away from everything you read, then here's what I took away from this one: actions speak louder than words.
Sure, Justin's dad cuts him (and everyone else) very little verbal slack. But he was always there for him, believing in him, pushing him to be better, and loving him regardless.
In the end, I hope I'm judged on my actions and not my words, because God knows my kids could easily write something like this. *shudders*
I actually liked I Suck at Girls a tad better, but I think it's because I read that one first. And while Halpern's father is extremely funny, once you hear a few of his zingers the magic wears off a bit.
The gist? I think everyone already knows about this book and the Tweets that started it all. I'm pretty sure the blurb takes care of whatever curiosity most readers have, but (if you're too lazy to read the blurb) the short version is that Justin started Tweeting the shit his dad said.
So, yeah.
Halpern senior is smart & funny, but I think the thing that everyone loves is the way he just says whatever he's thinking without caring about any social repercussions. And the stuff he's saying isn't racist/sexist/homophobic, it's just...honest.
Has it really become so rare for people to not sugarcoat the way they feel and think, that we find a book filled with Tweets like this amazing?
Yup.
There isn't any sort of big Life Lesson here, just a humorous way to spend an afternoon. But if you're one of those readers who just has to take a moral lesson away from everything you read, then here's what I took away from this one: actions speak louder than words.
Sure, Justin's dad cuts him (and everyone else) very little verbal slack. But he was always there for him, believing in him, pushing him to be better, and loving him regardless.
In the end, I hope I'm judged on my actions and not my words, because God knows my kids could easily write something like this. *shudders*
July 6, 2010
On Today’s Hairstyles
“Do people your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking.”
On Canine Leisure Time
“The dog is not bored. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking Rubik’s Cube. He’s a goddamned dog.”
My father-in-law, also Jewish, looked like a less fierce version of Justin Halpern’s dad, and although he didn’t use the word “fuck” nonstop he also dispensed some acerbic wisdom here and there.
Sh*t My Dad Says has an interesting genesis. Halpern started writing a Twitter page to record the “shit” his father said. For a while, he had few followers. “Then one day I woke up to find a thousand people were following me. The next day, ten thousand. Then fifty thousand, two hundred, three hundred thousand…Literary agents were calling, wanting to represent me….”
The book is no heavyweight – literally or figuratively. It took me fewer than a couple hours to read (176 pages with not a lot of text), but made me laugh out loud – frequently. Halpern organizes the book with short quotations on particular topics (such as the two at the beginning of this review) followed by longer vignettes.
Of the longer sections, Halpern’s description of moving from his parents’ home in San Diego to L.A. provides both humor and poignancy. Halpern has no idea what to expect in L.A. other than the characterization his father provides: "Los Angeles is like San Diego’s older, uglier sister that has herpes.” Halpern moves to L.A. to try to become a screenwriter. His father is encouraging, “Get ready for a fucking of biblical proportions,” but supportive (he offers to pay for Halpern’s first three months of rent):
I figure, what’s the fucking point in dying and leaving you money when you probably won’t need it? Might as well give it to you now when you need the help. Plus, I plan on blowing most of it on stupid shit when I get senile.
For all his gruffness, Halpern’s father loves Justin unequivocally or nearly… “You always got us. We’re family. We ain’t going anywhere. Unless you go on a fucking killing spree or something.”
And, a couple more gems:
On Being Teased
“So he called you a homo. Big deal. There’s nothing wrong with being a homosexual…. No, I’m not saying you’re a homosexual. Jesus Christ. Now I’m starting to see why this kid was giving you shit.”
On Making a Christmas List
“You ranked the twenty-five presents you want, in order of how much you want them? Are you insane? I said tell me what you want for Christmas, not make me a fucking college football poll.”
September 12, 2019
The idea for Sh*t My Dad Says was first introduced to the world by author Justin Halpern when he began posting quotes from his father online. Buoyed by the overwhelming popularity of the posts, he put the stream of sagacity down into an expanded book form and this was published in 2010.
“Sometimes life leaves a hundred-dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later it's because it fucked you.”
Profane, sometimes vulgar, but very, very funny Halpern fills this book with quotes he and his family heard from his father, a cancer researcher in San Diego. Most quotes are simply introduced by a setting, such as:
“On Lego's - Listen, I don't want to stifle your creativity, but that thing you built there, it looks a pile of shit.”
Other times, Halpern begins with the quote and then provides a more detailed backstory to give the citation more context. I found these vignettes the most entertaining. While his father’s wit and wisdom are clearly the star of the show, Halpern is a good writer and he fills in the gaps well.
“Your penis betrayed you, son. Made you think stupid. It won't be the last time that happens.”
Actually, what made me really like this was the juxtaposition Dr. Halpern’s world view has with our current, mamby pamby, watered down political correctness. Raised in rural Kentucky, served in the military during Vietnam, the elder Halpern is an atavistic old school tough guy who raised himself and his family up from poverty by working hard and smart. Much of his witticisms are focused on the need to impart to his son the necessity of hard work and sharing tough lessons of common sense and practicality.
“You worry too much. Eat some bacon...what? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.”
Very funny, often laugh out loud funny, I very much enjoyed this and recommend it highly.
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“Sometimes life leaves a hundred-dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later it's because it fucked you.”
Profane, sometimes vulgar, but very, very funny Halpern fills this book with quotes he and his family heard from his father, a cancer researcher in San Diego. Most quotes are simply introduced by a setting, such as:
“On Lego's - Listen, I don't want to stifle your creativity, but that thing you built there, it looks a pile of shit.”
Other times, Halpern begins with the quote and then provides a more detailed backstory to give the citation more context. I found these vignettes the most entertaining. While his father’s wit and wisdom are clearly the star of the show, Halpern is a good writer and he fills in the gaps well.
“Your penis betrayed you, son. Made you think stupid. It won't be the last time that happens.”
Actually, what made me really like this was the juxtaposition Dr. Halpern’s world view has with our current, mamby pamby, watered down political correctness. Raised in rural Kentucky, served in the military during Vietnam, the elder Halpern is an atavistic old school tough guy who raised himself and his family up from poverty by working hard and smart. Much of his witticisms are focused on the need to impart to his son the necessity of hard work and sharing tough lessons of common sense and practicality.
“You worry too much. Eat some bacon...what? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.”
Very funny, often laugh out loud funny, I very much enjoyed this and recommend it highly.
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January 17, 2016
Politically incorrect, irreverent, with a liberal smattering of profanity, vulgar at times but oh so funny. Probably many of us know someone just like Justin's dad, a truthful, no holds barred type of person but with a very big heart underneath. A man who when it really counts will do, anything for his family. This was a laugh out loud, amusing look at one such man, a self made man who came from poverty to working on cancer research in nuclear medicine, a man who has blunt advice for his son of most any occasion.
So needed this amusing book after my last read, so thanks to my GR friends who posted their reviews and brought this book to my attention.
So needed this amusing book after my last read, so thanks to my GR friends who posted their reviews and brought this book to my attention.
June 5, 2020
While browsing the library for a book to read (preferably a humorous one at that), I stumbled upon Justin Halpern's Sh*t My Dad Says. I then proceeded to open up the light read on a random page to see if it'd capture my attention... And it succeeded in making me laugh out loud with this one passage:
On Bob Saget’s Demeanor While Hosting America’s Funniest Home Videos
“Remember that face. That’s the face of a man who hates himself.”
What follows is a book that delivers pretty much everything I've been seeking: laugh-out-loud funny anecdotes, family, cursing, and so much more.
Here are a couple more gems I'd like to share:
On How to Tell When a Workout Is Complete
“I just did an hour on the gym machine. I’m sweaty, and I have to shit. Where’s my fanny pack? This workout is over.”
On Chivalry
“Give your mother the front seat…. I don’t give a shit if she said you could have it, that’s what she’s supposed to do, and you’re supposed to say, ‘No, I insist.’ You think I’m gonna drive around with my wife in the backseat and a nine-year-old in the front? You’re a crazy son of a bitch.”
But the true key to fully enjoying this book was listening to it on audio (which is, by the way, only three hours long). The narrator, Sean Schemmel, does this hilarious deep voice that perfectly captures the anger, frustration, and love behind the dad’s words. This read wouldn’t have been as laugh-out-loud funny without the audio format for me. But I do have to note that Schemmel's choice of using a high-pitched voice for the female characters was absurd and completely threw me out of the story, so I tried to tune that out as much as possible.
On another note, getting to read about Justin Halpern's relationship with his dad, who's a rather blunt individual, and sharing his quotes and quips, surprisingly evoked a wide range of reactions. From laughing at one section to being moved deeply by another, I was never short of experiencing numerous emotions throughout my reading experience.
One part that stuck out, in particular, was this breakfast shared with his father at Denny's:
“Dad, can you please get to the point you’re trying to make? I don’t want to talk about this the whole breakfast with all these people around us,” I said, as I looked to my left and right, indicating that people were listening and that it was embarrassing for me.
He paused and looked around the restaurant, and then right at the college kids next to us, who quickly glanced away.
“You give a shit what all these people think, huh? Even though you never met a goddamned one of them,” he said.”
Sam Halpern really made me shift my whole view with just the one sentence: “You give a shit what all these people think, huh? Even though you never met a goddamned one of them,”
And on said though, that will no doubt be playing over and over in my head, I'll end my review for this noteworthy book I'm beyond glad to have listened to. If you're looking for a swift and comical read that'll have you laughing out loud, Sh*t My Dad Says is the one.
Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying Sh*t My Dad, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!
This review and more can be found on my blog.
On Bob Saget’s Demeanor While Hosting America’s Funniest Home Videos
“Remember that face. That’s the face of a man who hates himself.”
What follows is a book that delivers pretty much everything I've been seeking: laugh-out-loud funny anecdotes, family, cursing, and so much more.
Here are a couple more gems I'd like to share:
On How to Tell When a Workout Is Complete
“I just did an hour on the gym machine. I’m sweaty, and I have to shit. Where’s my fanny pack? This workout is over.”
On Chivalry
“Give your mother the front seat…. I don’t give a shit if she said you could have it, that’s what she’s supposed to do, and you’re supposed to say, ‘No, I insist.’ You think I’m gonna drive around with my wife in the backseat and a nine-year-old in the front? You’re a crazy son of a bitch.”
But the true key to fully enjoying this book was listening to it on audio (which is, by the way, only three hours long). The narrator, Sean Schemmel, does this hilarious deep voice that perfectly captures the anger, frustration, and love behind the dad’s words. This read wouldn’t have been as laugh-out-loud funny without the audio format for me. But I do have to note that Schemmel's choice of using a high-pitched voice for the female characters was absurd and completely threw me out of the story, so I tried to tune that out as much as possible.
On another note, getting to read about Justin Halpern's relationship with his dad, who's a rather blunt individual, and sharing his quotes and quips, surprisingly evoked a wide range of reactions. From laughing at one section to being moved deeply by another, I was never short of experiencing numerous emotions throughout my reading experience.
One part that stuck out, in particular, was this breakfast shared with his father at Denny's:
“Dad, can you please get to the point you’re trying to make? I don’t want to talk about this the whole breakfast with all these people around us,” I said, as I looked to my left and right, indicating that people were listening and that it was embarrassing for me.
He paused and looked around the restaurant, and then right at the college kids next to us, who quickly glanced away.
“You give a shit what all these people think, huh? Even though you never met a goddamned one of them,” he said.”
Sam Halpern really made me shift my whole view with just the one sentence: “You give a shit what all these people think, huh? Even though you never met a goddamned one of them,”
And on said though, that will no doubt be playing over and over in my head, I'll end my review for this noteworthy book I'm beyond glad to have listened to. If you're looking for a swift and comical read that'll have you laughing out loud, Sh*t My Dad Says is the one.
Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying Sh*t My Dad, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!
This review and more can be found on my blog.
January 19, 2016
2016 Genre Challenge : Non-Fiction
This book was funny, or it had some laugh out loud moments.... But I think I went into expecting something a little different. I guess reading the blurb, I thought it would be about a twenty something guy living with his seventy four year old father and the antics of an older gentleman. In reality, this book was about the authors father and everything he remembers his father saying as he was growing up. It's like a reverse "my child's funniest phrases" book. For me, it was just alright.
This book was funny, or it had some laugh out loud moments.... But I think I went into expecting something a little different. I guess reading the blurb, I thought it would be about a twenty something guy living with his seventy four year old father and the antics of an older gentleman. In reality, this book was about the authors father and everything he remembers his father saying as he was growing up. It's like a reverse "my child's funniest phrases" book. For me, it was just alright.
May 14, 2010
To echo what others have said this book is hilarious. It’s also sweet and touching. Justin’s dad is a gruff Vietnam vet, retired research doctor who is honest to a fault. He’s someone who knows himself and has the courage and a burning need to speak his mind. He also loves his family to distraction. Justin’s dad is Jewish and his mom a quiet, loving Catholic and though their child rearing approaches seem as different as their religions they make a good parenting team.
Here are a few quotes which are NOT the funniest in the book but one’s that are relatively lacking in four letter words:
On Getting an Internship at Quentin Tarantino’s Production Company:
“That is one ugly son of a ‘gun’…..Oh, yeah, no congratulations. If you see him, try not to stare at his face if you’ve eaten anything.”
After Justin moves out”
“You just barge in and take whatever you want, whenever you want it. It’s like you’re the G**D***** SS I’m living in f****** Nazi Germany….”
At the End of the Day, at Least You a Have a Family:
“So, there you go. Your mother thinks you’re handsome. This should be an exciting day for you.”
On a hypothesized life of crime:
“You always got us. We’re family. We ain’t going anywhere. Unless you go on a f****** killing spree or something.”
“I would still love you Justy. I would just want to know why you did it,” my mom said earnestly.
All these quotes can seem a bit over the top when you read them out of context but they never come across as glib or hate filled…..just honest. Justin was the youngest of three sons and the last chapter of the book is the story of one of Justin’s love affairs gone awry and his dad comforting by telling the story of his first wife’s life and death. The best thing about this book, besides the humor of course, is the emotional honestly.
Here are a few quotes which are NOT the funniest in the book but one’s that are relatively lacking in four letter words:
On Getting an Internship at Quentin Tarantino’s Production Company:
“That is one ugly son of a ‘gun’…..Oh, yeah, no congratulations. If you see him, try not to stare at his face if you’ve eaten anything.”
After Justin moves out”
“You just barge in and take whatever you want, whenever you want it. It’s like you’re the G**D***** SS I’m living in f****** Nazi Germany….”
At the End of the Day, at Least You a Have a Family:
“So, there you go. Your mother thinks you’re handsome. This should be an exciting day for you.”
On a hypothesized life of crime:
“You always got us. We’re family. We ain’t going anywhere. Unless you go on a f****** killing spree or something.”
“I would still love you Justy. I would just want to know why you did it,” my mom said earnestly.
All these quotes can seem a bit over the top when you read them out of context but they never come across as glib or hate filled…..just honest. Justin was the youngest of three sons and the last chapter of the book is the story of one of Justin’s love affairs gone awry and his dad comforting by telling the story of his first wife’s life and death. The best thing about this book, besides the humor of course, is the emotional honestly.
September 13, 2019
I'm not cool enough to do Twitter (I suspect I'm appearing less cool by the second here...is it use Twitter? Do Twitter? Tweet? Whatever!! I'm old!)...my point is, I'm not sure how I even heard of this book, but I am so, so glad I found it. I cannot remember the last time I laughed this hard. The audio was fantastic. I'm pretty sure anyone who saw me at the Y today has solidified their opinion that I must be a total lunatic. It was that funny!
This dad is an enigma: clearly brilliant, yet seemingly unable to string together three words without using profanity. He seems like an angry curmudgeon, yet in almost every story there is strong evidence that he adores his family. The title is incredibly apropos, as this dad says the word shit or discusses bowel movements almost constantly. I questioned for a minute whether a child could grow up normal with all these pearls of wisdom being angrily spat at him, laced with profanity...but he seems very well-adjusted. I bet you just acclimate.
This audio was just what I needed after many heavy reads. I laughed a lot. I'm not sure what that says about me but that's it!
This dad is an enigma: clearly brilliant, yet seemingly unable to string together three words without using profanity. He seems like an angry curmudgeon, yet in almost every story there is strong evidence that he adores his family. The title is incredibly apropos, as this dad says the word shit or discusses bowel movements almost constantly. I questioned for a minute whether a child could grow up normal with all these pearls of wisdom being angrily spat at him, laced with profanity...but he seems very well-adjusted. I bet you just acclimate.
This audio was just what I needed after many heavy reads. I laughed a lot. I'm not sure what that says about me but that's it!
May 23, 2016
“Snausages? I’ve been eating dog treats? Why the fuck would you put them on the counter where the rest of the food is? Fuck it, they’re delicious. I will not be shamed by this.”
This is Sam Halpern, father of Justin Halpern, the author. He's very blunt and unapologetic.
“I don't need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. Fuck that. I'm old. I'm through moving this shit.”
He cares deeply about his son's welfare.
“Don't touch that knife. You never need to be holding a knife... I don't give a shit, learn how to butter stuff with a spoon”
He also loves his wife, though perhaps not in a Hallmark sense.
“Give your mother the front seat…. I don’t give a shit if she said you could have it, that’s what she’s supposed to do, and you’re supposed to say, ‘No, I insist.’ You think I’m gonna drive around with my wife in the backseat and a nine-year-old in the front? You’re a crazy son of a bitch.”
He has very strong opinions on yard work—and pretty much everything.
"On Yard Work:
What are you doing with that rake?... No, that is not raking.... What? Different styles of raking? No there is one style, and then there is bullshit. Guess which one you're doing.”
“On Asking to Have the Candy Passed to Me During Schindler’s List:
What do you want—the candy? They’re throwing people in the fucking gas chamber, and you want a Skittles?”
“On Sharing:
I’m sorry, but if your brother doesn’t want you to play with his shit, then you can’t play with it. It’s his shit. If he wants to be an asshole and not share, then that’s his right. You always have the right to be an asshole—you just shouldn’t use that right very often.”
In short, we should all worship Sam Halpern and heed his sage wisdom.
September 1, 2016
How fabulous was that?!
I was expecting this book to be funny and quotable, but I wasn't expecting it to be so touching.
I think when I heard the concept for this book I expected Sam Halpern to be kind of a dick. A funny dick, but a sort of mean and grumpy person. Though he is really direct, I was shocked at how kind and loving Sam Halpern was. Hilarious and supportive, that is how I would describe him.
This book was like a humorous lesson in valuing family. As a parent, I related to SO much of this story. And as a kid of parents who are still very much involved in my life, I also related to Justin, too. I really got the dynamic between Sam and Justin, and I found myself smiling and nodding along the entire time I was listening.
As an audiobook, this was excellent. Sean Schemmel, really killed the narration, getting all of the characters' voices perfectly and with nice inflection and cadence. This was a super easy listen, perfect for when you are kind of busy and can't focus on a long story, but still want something to entertain you.
High recommended.
October 13, 2012
On Deciding to Use His Senior Discount for the First Time
“Fuck it, I’m old. Gimme free stuff.”
When 28-year-old Justin Halpern’s girlfriend breaks up with him and he loses his apartment too, he finds himself moving back in with his parents. His 73-year-old dad Sam is retired and spends his days at home, so the guys spend a lot of time together. Halpern Senior has an opinion about everything and doesn't sweet-talk his way around it, he says exactly what he's thinking and doesn't give a shit about what other people think of him. When Justin makes a Twitter account to share his dad’s quotes with the rest of the world, it becomes an instant sensation. Hence the idea to make a book - it consists of anecdotes from Justin's childhood all the way to the present, and after each story are a couple random quotes.
On Shopping for Presents for His Birthday
“If it’s not bourbon or sweatpants, it’s going in the garbage … No, don’t get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.”
Sam Halpern is not a man afraid to speak his mind. He uses words freely and creatively and he curses like a madman. He often yells at his kids and raises them with tough love. However, underneath that tough barrier is a kind, old man who loves his family more than anything. Despite all the 'fuck's he throws around, he really does give a shit. Granted, his parenting methods are a little unorthodox and there are a couple shocking scenes, but who really knows the right way to raise a child? The kids are happy and successful and they love their old man. That's the most important thing, right?
On Understanding One’s Place in the Food Chain
“Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me.”
On Telemarketer Phone Calls
“Hello? … Fuck you.”
I read this book in one sitting and in two hours – it was so addictive! I found myself laughing out loud on many occasions and smiling through the rest of the stories. I’ve wanted to read this one for a very long time, and I can gladly say it didn’t let me down. It gave for a couple good laughs and that's exactly what I needed. Sam Halpern is a genius and Justin did a great job by dotting everything down, letting everyone enjoy his father's words of wisdom. It makes for a beautiful memoir. It'd make me proud.
“Don’t get me wrong, you’ve got a big fucking mouth, and you ain’t the prettiest to look at, but I love you, and I want people to know that when it comes down to it, I would do things for my family that I wouldn’t do for nobody else.”
April 4, 2012
Well, that was something I don't read everyday. I don't think I've ever read a book that had the ability to make me laugh out loud on one page and cringe on the next. When I first picked up Sh*t My Dad Says, I had no idea it originated from Halpern's twitter page. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I can see why the twitter page, which compromised of random quotes from Halpern's dad, would be a hit. It's just the right amount of comic relief you may need while wasting precious hours of your life scrolling through twitter. It's sort of like following Yoda, Darth Vader, Snape or my personal favorite, Lord Voldemort, on twitter.
His tweets are mildly offensive, but admit it. You lol'ed, didn't you? So, in that context the quotes found in Sh*t My Dad Says are funny. But what happens when you put it all in one place? The short answer is simple: It's not very funny. Okay, wait. Some of the quotes are funny and in the beginning I did laugh quite a bit, but as I got further and further into the book, the novelty wore off. What was once humorous as an occasional tweet, turned into just a very vulgar book.
My biggest issue with Sh*t My Dad Says is that most of the quotes were directed towards Halpern when he was a child. This did not sit right with me at all. Cursing at and shaming children is wrong on so many levels and I failed to see the humor in that. It totally killed the entertainment factor when his dad is directing the F-bomb at his young son left and right. And I was sitting here waiting for an adult to correct this guy, but it didn't seem like it was anyone's issue but mine. It was very shocking because if my dad had said half of the things Halpern's did to me, I would cry a river. I'm not saying his dad didn't love him or care about him, but wow. I just don't understand how someone could show so little respect and talk down to a child like that.
So as far as I'm concerned, these quotes would have been better off remaining on twitter and not in a book. Sh*t My Dad Says is the perfect example of the age-old rule: If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
More reviews at Cuddlebuggery Book Blog.
His tweets are mildly offensive, but admit it. You lol'ed, didn't you? So, in that context the quotes found in Sh*t My Dad Says are funny. But what happens when you put it all in one place? The short answer is simple: It's not very funny. Okay, wait. Some of the quotes are funny and in the beginning I did laugh quite a bit, but as I got further and further into the book, the novelty wore off. What was once humorous as an occasional tweet, turned into just a very vulgar book.
My biggest issue with Sh*t My Dad Says is that most of the quotes were directed towards Halpern when he was a child. This did not sit right with me at all. Cursing at and shaming children is wrong on so many levels and I failed to see the humor in that. It totally killed the entertainment factor when his dad is directing the F-bomb at his young son left and right. And I was sitting here waiting for an adult to correct this guy, but it didn't seem like it was anyone's issue but mine. It was very shocking because if my dad had said half of the things Halpern's did to me, I would cry a river. I'm not saying his dad didn't love him or care about him, but wow. I just don't understand how someone could show so little respect and talk down to a child like that.
So as far as I'm concerned, these quotes would have been better off remaining on twitter and not in a book. Sh*t My Dad Says is the perfect example of the age-old rule: If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
More reviews at Cuddlebuggery Book Blog.
October 9, 2019
Just the feel-good book that I needed. Funny, short and surprisingly wholesome.
June 16, 2010
Wondering who's going to take over for David Sedaris now that he's moved to France and used up all his family anecdotes? Justin Halpern is here to save us. Shit My Dad Saysis basically, one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. He truly demonstrates how a skilled writer can take his Twitter feed and turn it into a legitimately hilarious, well written, and poignant read.
February 15, 2017
Re-read only a few months later :-P
Original read: December 2016
Re-read: Feb 2017
Listened to this with my brother when I rode with him to work and with my mom when we went shopping.. both gave me"WTH are we listening to?" look but they laughed too so I count it as a win:)
If you are sensitive to swearing, this book does have quite a bit but never in a mean way
Justin's Dad grew on me fairly quickly.. I have a family member who swears like she gets paid by the word so initially I was wary of how Sam spoke but once I realized how he was, it was smooth sailing from there.
---
Original review:
Great audiobook for my book-slump and not feeling good (my allergies/sinus seem to love so much every December that they keep re-visiting). It's one of those things I knew was popular but somehow never remembered to look up, till a friend on here starting reading it *points to Caidyn's name*
Surprised my my library's OverDrive had it, actually.
Justin's Dad is a blunt and unapologetic guy... he tells ya how he sees it, but he's not mean or cruel about it. and it seems (just my opinion) he doesn't know how funny he comes across sometimes :).
A few stories and quotes emerged as my favorites but I won't spoil them here for you... let's just say I almost choked on my drink or food a few times haha.
Would recommend :)
Original read: December 2016
Re-read: Feb 2017
Listened to this with my brother when I rode with him to work and with my mom when we went shopping.. both gave me"WTH are we listening to?" look but they laughed too so I count it as a win:)
If you are sensitive to swearing, this book does have quite a bit but never in a mean way
Justin's Dad grew on me fairly quickly.. I have a family member who swears like she gets paid by the word so initially I was wary of how Sam spoke but once I realized how he was, it was smooth sailing from there.
---
Original review:
Great audiobook for my book-slump and not feeling good (my allergies/sinus seem to love so much every December that they keep re-visiting). It's one of those things I knew was popular but somehow never remembered to look up, till a friend on here starting reading it *points to Caidyn's name*
Surprised my my library's OverDrive had it, actually.
Justin's Dad is a blunt and unapologetic guy... he tells ya how he sees it, but he's not mean or cruel about it. and it seems (just my opinion) he doesn't know how funny he comes across sometimes :).
A few stories and quotes emerged as my favorites but I won't spoil them here for you... let's just say I almost choked on my drink or food a few times haha.
Would recommend :)
November 23, 2012
Review posted on Got Fiction?
I bought this for my husband and I later found it in the bathroom (choice male reading space). So my husband endorses the hilarity of this book too ;)
Holy crap is this book hysterical! His dad comes off as some redneck jerk of a dad, but actually used to be in nuclear medicine! And the sayings, I mean, silly stuff from vacations, like we've all had to share a bed with a cousin, or a relative at a family reunion, but when little Justin Halpern complains about sharing a bed with his grandfather, his dad's response is:
"Who the hell says Grandpa wants to share a bed with you!"
I guess I never thought of it that way.
And funnier more recent things like "You can't f*ck a sheep while running." what the..who the...Who says stuff like this anyways?!
So the book is fun and funny and apparently great bathroom reading.
I bought this for my husband and I later found it in the bathroom (choice male reading space). So my husband endorses the hilarity of this book too ;)
Holy crap is this book hysterical! His dad comes off as some redneck jerk of a dad, but actually used to be in nuclear medicine! And the sayings, I mean, silly stuff from vacations, like we've all had to share a bed with a cousin, or a relative at a family reunion, but when little Justin Halpern complains about sharing a bed with his grandfather, his dad's response is:
"Who the hell says Grandpa wants to share a bed with you!"
I guess I never thought of it that way.
And funnier more recent things like "You can't f*ck a sheep while running." what the..who the...Who says stuff like this anyways?!
So the book is fun and funny and apparently great bathroom reading.
February 12, 2019
Got this book this morning in Morrison's from the donation table and I've read it through laughing all the way. :)
Justin Halperns Dad is an absolute star. He is wise, honest, funny, angry, protective of his home, the part where he is crawling naked on floor with a shot gun at 2am because he heard a noise in the kitchen had me in stiches.:) He is foul mouthed (he says the f word ..a lot) and I love him to bits.
Thank you Justin Halpern for introducing your magnificent Dad to me, he is hilarious. :)
Justin Halperns Dad is an absolute star. He is wise, honest, funny, angry, protective of his home, the part where he is crawling naked on floor with a shot gun at 2am because he heard a noise in the kitchen had me in stiches.:) He is foul mouthed (he says the f word ..a lot) and I love him to bits.
Thank you Justin Halpern for introducing your magnificent Dad to me, he is hilarious. :)
January 23, 2016
This book is indeed funny, but it is also a love letter from a son to his father. Throughout the pithy and vulgar thoughts on the mundane of everyday life that Mr. Halpern's father rants about, one can see that this is a dad who loves his son and only wants what is best for him.
If you put aside the crude language, which is where much of the humor comes from, you will see that Mr. Halpern's father actually has some pretty sound ideas about the world and this thing we call life. He may be brusque and uncomfortably honest, but this is a father who knows that the truth is always best, regardless of how harsh the truth may be. It was also refreshing to see a dad who tells his son the way it is, by which I mean to say that the text is chock full of Mr. Halpern being brought back to reality by a father who loves his son, but does not think the world revolves around him. I wish there were more parents like that!
If you don't mind the vulgar references, and enjoy blunt, sometimes crude, and often self deprecating humor you will enjoy this quick read. "Sh*t My Dad Says" is a very funny, and surprisingly insightful text. I will come back to it again. The senior Mr. Halpern is just too good to ignore.
If you put aside the crude language, which is where much of the humor comes from, you will see that Mr. Halpern's father actually has some pretty sound ideas about the world and this thing we call life. He may be brusque and uncomfortably honest, but this is a father who knows that the truth is always best, regardless of how harsh the truth may be. It was also refreshing to see a dad who tells his son the way it is, by which I mean to say that the text is chock full of Mr. Halpern being brought back to reality by a father who loves his son, but does not think the world revolves around him. I wish there were more parents like that!
If you don't mind the vulgar references, and enjoy blunt, sometimes crude, and often self deprecating humor you will enjoy this quick read. "Sh*t My Dad Says" is a very funny, and surprisingly insightful text. I will come back to it again. The senior Mr. Halpern is just too good to ignore.
June 11, 2018
Την ομότιτλη σειρά ποτέ δεν έκατσα να τη δω, ενώ έπρεπε να περάσουν πάνω από πέντε χρόνια από τότε που κυκλοφόρησε στα ελληνικά το βιβλίο για να το αγοράσω (έναντι δυο ευρώ από κάποιο παζάρι βιβλιοπωλείου - με τόσα λεφτά ούτε ζαμπονοτυρόπιτα δεν παίρνει κανείς). Και πέρασαν πάνω από δυόμισι χρόνια από τότε που το αγόρασα για να κάτσω να το διαβάσω. Και αυτό τυχαία έγινε, απλώς το πήρε το μάτι μου, διάβασα τις πρώτες σελίδες, και έφαγα κόλλημα. Πλάκα είχε το βιβλίο, σίγουρα μου έφτιαξε το κέφι και μ'έκανε να περάσω ευχάριστα και ξεκούραστα για δυο και κάτι ώρες. Ευχαριστήθηκα για τα καλά όλες αυτές τις κουλές ιστορίες του συγγραφέα για τον τρελό και ανορθόδοξο αλλά συνάμα φοβερό πατέρα του, ενώ πλάκα είχαν οι "σοφιστείες" λίγων γραμμών του πατέρα Χάλπερν για πολλά και διάφορα θέματα. Φυσικά οι πολιτικά ορθοί αναγνώστες και όσοι δεν πολυγουστάρουν το βρισίδι, καλύτερα να μείνουν μακριά από το βιβλίο.
January 15, 2016
4 Stars!
Seen this floating around on GRs and needed a laugh so I grabbed it.
If you're wanting a laugh this is a quick read that will have you giggling in no time!
Justin's dad is a hoot! If you don't like cussing in books then I'd stay away from this one because Justin's dad loves to say fuck!
Everybody knows that's one of my favorite words so it didn't bother me at all. lol
I loved this! I will probably be reading the next one called More Shit My Dad Says when I'm in need of more giggling. lol
Seen this floating around on GRs and needed a laugh so I grabbed it.
If you're wanting a laugh this is a quick read that will have you giggling in no time!
Justin's dad is a hoot! If you don't like cussing in books then I'd stay away from this one because Justin's dad loves to say fuck!
Everybody knows that's one of my favorite words so it didn't bother me at all. lol
I loved this! I will probably be reading the next one called More Shit My Dad Says when I'm in need of more giggling. lol
December 17, 2021
“They’re celebrating you graduating from eighth grade?We just went to your sixth-grade graduation two goddamned years ago!Jesus Christ, why don’t they just throw a fucking party every time you properly wipe your ass?”
Not Everyone’s Balls Should Be Busted
😂😂😂
“Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.”
Don’t Be So Quick to Buy into What Authority Prescribes
😆😆😆
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax.It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain’t spitting it out.”
Sometimes It’s Nice When People You Love Need You
Not Everyone’s Balls Should Be Busted
😂😂😂
“Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.”
Don’t Be So Quick to Buy into What Authority Prescribes
😆😆😆
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax.It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain’t spitting it out.”
Sometimes It’s Nice When People You Love Need You
November 2, 2019
3.5
Justin Halpern has a hysterical dad and he has formed quite the collection of momentous quotes and hilarious banter. This was a quick listen and I found myself laughing quite a bit at the responses and short essays Justin had about his dad.
***Strong content warning for language
Justin Halpern has a hysterical dad and he has formed quite the collection of momentous quotes and hilarious banter. This was a quick listen and I found myself laughing quite a bit at the responses and short essays Justin had about his dad.
***Strong content warning for language
April 26, 2011
How Not To Write A Book
Assume Your Audience
My audience is white, black, Hispanic, likes popcorn, pizza, blue, orange, they'll find this funny, they won't find this funny, etc etc. Never assume your audience. This book's first mistake was making a joke of which I found in particularly bad taste. I will not mention said joke here, because it isn't important. The only thing I'll say is that I did not find it funny, and it turned me away.
Never assume anything about your audience. If you're going to make a joke in bad taste, never make it about a person. The worst thing you can do is offhandedly pick on someone, and then expect people to laugh.
Especially since I hold a sort of respect for said person.
Moving on,
Let's Give You Fifty Tonics and Hope You'll Like One
Many tv shows have decided to do this now. Let's throw a bunch of jokes at the audience and hope that they'll laugh at all of them.
I laughed three or four times throughout this book. The rest of the way, I cringed in disgust. That is not a good thing.
Many of these jokes were extremely vulgar, which I expected from the title, but I did not expect for there to be around 1000 of them condensed into a novel.
I'm not a prudish person ( <--- LIES) but I do think that there is a certain level you can take the shock factor without being in bad taste. The shock wore off after a few pages, and then it just turned annoying as hell.
The Hate/Hate Relationship
There is something called a hate/love relationship. I did not have this with any characters in this book. The father is annoying, crass, moronic, over the top and not very fit to be a parent. Any kid he raises is bound to be an asshole, which comes to my second point: The narrator is an asshole. It's easy to understand how he got that way (with a dad like that, who wouldn't?) but that doesn't stop it from being annoying as hell. I couldn't really identify or sympathize with him at all.
And Concluding,
Maybe I shouldn't have picked up this book to begin with. After all, I don't like vulgar books. I like my books to be clean. This was anything but. The f-bomb was dropped almost as if it was in place of "and" and "at". I won't even get started on that too much, though.
Whatever the case, I did not enjoy this book. And I wouldn't recommend it to others, either. Or read it over. Or read anything else by the author.
This should have stayed a blog. I did not enjoy this book.
I tried.
Assume Your Audience
My audience is white, black, Hispanic, likes popcorn, pizza, blue, orange, they'll find this funny, they won't find this funny, etc etc. Never assume your audience. This book's first mistake was making a joke of which I found in particularly bad taste. I will not mention said joke here, because it isn't important. The only thing I'll say is that I did not find it funny, and it turned me away.
Never assume anything about your audience. If you're going to make a joke in bad taste, never make it about a person. The worst thing you can do is offhandedly pick on someone, and then expect people to laugh.
Especially since I hold a sort of respect for said person.
Moving on,
Let's Give You Fifty Tonics and Hope You'll Like One
Many tv shows have decided to do this now. Let's throw a bunch of jokes at the audience and hope that they'll laugh at all of them.
I laughed three or four times throughout this book. The rest of the way, I cringed in disgust. That is not a good thing.
Many of these jokes were extremely vulgar, which I expected from the title, but I did not expect for there to be around 1000 of them condensed into a novel.
I'm not a prudish person ( <--- LIES) but I do think that there is a certain level you can take the shock factor without being in bad taste. The shock wore off after a few pages, and then it just turned annoying as hell.
The Hate/Hate Relationship
There is something called a hate/love relationship. I did not have this with any characters in this book. The father is annoying, crass, moronic, over the top and not very fit to be a parent. Any kid he raises is bound to be an asshole, which comes to my second point: The narrator is an asshole. It's easy to understand how he got that way (with a dad like that, who wouldn't?) but that doesn't stop it from being annoying as hell. I couldn't really identify or sympathize with him at all.
And Concluding,
Maybe I shouldn't have picked up this book to begin with. After all, I don't like vulgar books. I like my books to be clean. This was anything but. The f-bomb was dropped almost as if it was in place of "and" and "at". I won't even get started on that too much, though.
Whatever the case, I did not enjoy this book. And I wouldn't recommend it to others, either. Or read it over. Or read anything else by the author.
This should have stayed a blog. I did not enjoy this book.
I tried.
January 14, 2011
This has got to be the funniest book I have ever read. I read it in one sitting (not hard because it's fairly short) even though I was just glancing at it before getting to my mystery thriller (a lot harder since the latter was fairly enthralling). I was laughing out loud through much of it even though I was alone, and at time I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe. Although at a couple of points I thought, "Wow, this was probably kind of almost abusive parenting" I am excessively sensitive to that issue and most people probably wouldn't even notice. It's very obvious that he loves the boy very much.
I do not have gutter humor but both I and my 17 year old daughter who does thought it was hilarious. Warning, this is not rated G and not always completely PC (although most times it actually is, as the father says it's okay to be gay and to cry). The especially hilarious part is that this guy does something in "nuclear medicine" and lectures to oncologists so he's very well educated and smart. Here are some of my favorite lines out of the book:
"On getting Rescued by a Lifeguard at the Beach
'What were you doing that far out? You can't swim...Son, you're a good athlete, but I've seen what you call swimming. It looks like a slow kid on his knees trying to smash ants.'
"On Being Teased
'So he called you a homo. Big deal. There's nothing wrong with being a homosexual....No, I'm not saying you're a homosexual. Jesus Christ. Now I'm starting to see why this kid was giving you shit.'
"On Finding Out I Tried Marijuana
'Pretty great, right?...Really? Well, we differ in opinion, then. Don't tell your mom I said that, though. Tell her I yelled at you and called you a moron. Actually, don't tell her anything. See, now I'm paranoid and I didn't even smoke any.'
"On My First School Dance
'Are you wearing perfume?...Son, there ain't any cologne in this house, only your mother's perfume. I know that scent, and let me tell you, it's disturbing to smell your wife on your thirteen-year-old son.'"
I do not have gutter humor but both I and my 17 year old daughter who does thought it was hilarious. Warning, this is not rated G and not always completely PC (although most times it actually is, as the father says it's okay to be gay and to cry). The especially hilarious part is that this guy does something in "nuclear medicine" and lectures to oncologists so he's very well educated and smart. Here are some of my favorite lines out of the book:
"On getting Rescued by a Lifeguard at the Beach
'What were you doing that far out? You can't swim...Son, you're a good athlete, but I've seen what you call swimming. It looks like a slow kid on his knees trying to smash ants.'
"On Being Teased
'So he called you a homo. Big deal. There's nothing wrong with being a homosexual....No, I'm not saying you're a homosexual. Jesus Christ. Now I'm starting to see why this kid was giving you shit.'
"On Finding Out I Tried Marijuana
'Pretty great, right?...Really? Well, we differ in opinion, then. Don't tell your mom I said that, though. Tell her I yelled at you and called you a moron. Actually, don't tell her anything. See, now I'm paranoid and I didn't even smoke any.'
"On My First School Dance
'Are you wearing perfume?...Son, there ain't any cologne in this house, only your mother's perfume. I know that scent, and let me tell you, it's disturbing to smell your wife on your thirteen-year-old son.'"
July 13, 2010
Having grown up with a curt sarcastic father, I thought I'd enjoy reading the snide comments of and family stories about someone else's terse sardonic dad. Although I laughed out loud several times as I read this, there was such an undercurrent of mean-spiritedness that I found it unsettling, and the book ultimately undoes its own humor.
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December 1, 2024A laugh out loud, must-read for anyone who doesn't mind a little foul language. A perfect stress-reliever for this time of year... the quotes from Justin’s father had me laughing for hours! -Lindsey D.
January 24, 2015
Alright, alright I should've known better than to read a book with a title like that. Me being me, I don't particularly like excessive swearing. I can take some but seriously, this dad puts high-school students and frat boys to shame. And just a little tidbit f*** is not a noun or adjective, it's a verb. Words can’t do it and neither can non-living objects. Though I should mention that the man is intelligent—he is a science guy, professor I believe. But I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that if you took out all the sentences that had a swear word in it you'd have maybe 20% left (at most). However, it was ready and available-plus it was short. I actually didn't know it started from a twitter feed when I first started reading it.
I don't think it is a bad book. Characters like Harper's dad make the world more interesting. He obviously knows his priorities and if you want an honest answer, go to him. I admit that I laughed. But it was like laughing at a 10 year old boy's fart jokes at times. The rest of the story telling elements of the book were alright. They held my attention but nothing compelling, which happens most of the time when I read non-fiction books.
Lastly, I didn't finish the book with anything. I learned nothing new. If I rate this book purely for entertainment I'd give it 2 ½ maybe 3 because I was entertained but bothered at times by the language and a few of the stories. The lessons he teaches his son(s) sound meaningful but I was edgy about it most of the time. I didn't like one chapter that is titled "Confidence Is the Way to a Woman's Heart, or at Least into Her Pants"...really?
As a whole, I thought it was just okay.
I don't think it is a bad book. Characters like Harper's dad make the world more interesting. He obviously knows his priorities and if you want an honest answer, go to him. I admit that I laughed. But it was like laughing at a 10 year old boy's fart jokes at times. The rest of the story telling elements of the book were alright. They held my attention but nothing compelling, which happens most of the time when I read non-fiction books.
Lastly, I didn't finish the book with anything. I learned nothing new. If I rate this book purely for entertainment I'd give it 2 ½ maybe 3 because I was entertained but bothered at times by the language and a few of the stories. The lessons he teaches his son(s) sound meaningful but I was edgy about it most of the time. I didn't like one chapter that is titled "Confidence Is the Way to a Woman's Heart, or at Least into Her Pants"...really?
As a whole, I thought it was just okay.
January 17, 2016
I needed a light, funny read to help me deal with some sadness, and this helped. I don't usually find funny books funny (I'm looking at you Seriously... I'm Kidding), but this was an exception.
The author's dad is quite a character. He just tells it like he sees it without a second thought or regret, never censoring himself, that's for sure. His language--a**hole, bullsh*t, and the f-bomb are used constantly-- might offend some delicate ears, but so be it. If the f word offends you, you may want to sit this one out; but really, come on. Deep down, the guy's got a heart of gold and these snippets of family life are well worth a shot.
The author's dad is quite a character. He just tells it like he sees it without a second thought or regret, never censoring himself, that's for sure. His language--a**hole, bullsh*t, and the f-bomb are used constantly-- might offend some delicate ears, but so be it. If the f word offends you, you may want to sit this one out; but really, come on. Deep down, the guy's got a heart of gold and these snippets of family life are well worth a shot.
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